


Meet Me with a Smile

by CarriePlum



Series: Sirius and Annabelle [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Gay Male Character, Marauders, Quidditch, Romance, Sexual Content, Violence, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-02-12 23:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 189,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2127792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarriePlum/pseuds/CarriePlum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being sixteen isn't easy for Sirius Black, especially with a family that mistreats him, a lovesick best mate, and a lab partner that finds him rather... unpleasant, to put it nicely. What happens when he takes a chance with his heart? He gets more in return than he ever could've imagined. Subplots/OCs/all four marauders/drama galore. ENJOY!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Here it is... a Sirius/OC story where Sirius is not a shallow, womanising manwhore, but more of a misunderstood sixteen-year-old. Mostly canon, with a few minor adjustments. Fresh take on James/Lily's relationship as well. FYI - I made Lily more "human" in this story than many fics have her, (in other words, she's no Mary Sue.)
> 
> This is the first in a series, but it can be read as a stand-alone as well. Chapters are short at first because I was a newbie when I started this and didn't really know any better. The story takes time to develop, as relationships often do, but if you stick with it, I think you will be glad you gave it a chance. ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of J.K. Rowling. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

_"Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love." -Mother Teresa_

_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

 

 

**_Prologue - Fifth year_ **

Annabelle O'Neill exited Transfiguration late that day after staying behind to explain to Professor McGonagall that she'd lost her assignment. When she came out into the corridor, the lot of them were still there despite everyone else having gone already, waiting to start their detention for getting caught roaming the castle after curfew the night before. Remus Lupin, whom she was rather fond of with his shy eyes and dishevelled hair, and the only one of the four with whom she was sort of friendly; James Potter, her best friend's longstanding source of angst who also happened to be an egotistical tosser; Sirius Black, easily the best looking boy at Hogwarts, but smug and aloof in that he really only associated with a select few while icing out everyone else; and Peter Pettigrew, the worst of the bunch, a rat-faced little hanger-on with no thoughts of his own and a penchant for foul humour that would make a grindylow blush. What a motley bunch she always mused when they crossed her mind, or her path as they had done that day.

They were leaning against the wall, looking rather bored and downcast, until they saw her step out of the classroom. Suddenly, they all perked up and grinned wickedly, except for Remus who stared at the floor in what appeared to be mild discomfort. They didn't say anything, but their snide way of acknowledging her made her stop in her tracks. She narrowed her eyes, her heart thumping in her chest as she waited for one of them to make a rude remark. When all they did was stare at her with their smirking faces, she walked away, and they burst into laughter.

"Wankers," she called casually without a look back, hoping her voice would not reveal her hurt.

It only made them laugh harder. Annabelle's heart was racing, and she picked up her pace. She had never understood why they were so popular. Sure, they were attractive, well, minus Peter who was a bit of a slob, but her grandfather, who had also been a talented wizard in his own right before he died, used to tell her that "pretty is as pretty does." She had thought it was just something adults told children, but this group of boys was a perfect illustration of why it was true. They were uglier than beasts in her opinion, and she refused to go along with so many of her peers in their blind worship of them. Which was probably why they weren't all that fond of her. Granted, they never went too far with her, perhaps because she was a girl, or Lily's friend, or the late, great Darien O'Neill's granddaughter, but their arrogant dismissal of her felt spiteful somehow, and she didn't know what she'd done to deserve it.

James and Sirius had made her feel small and insignificant on numerous occasions over the years. There was the way James would approach Lily, ignoring the fact that she was in the middle of a conversation with Annabelle, interrupting like she wasn't even there, or the way Sirius would be smiling, surrounded by his teammates and admirers, but if he caught Annabelle's eyes, his smile would vanish, replaced by contempt. Of course, Peter would just copy whatever James and Sirius did.

In return, she paid them no mind, only speaking to them if she absolutely had to for classroom related issues. She knew they were just arseholes, and that there was no point in getting upset. Maybe they thought she was conceited, and she was fine with that, since the feeling was mutual. But she couldn't deny that being laughed at for no reason at all, for merely _existing_ , didn't sting a little.

Annabelle didn't tell Lily about the demeaning encounter. She hated to sound like a whinger, since Lily rather fancied James, even though she dismissed him at every turn. Apparently, she was having a hard time reconciling her feelings for him. She had told Annabelle how sweet he was when she spoke to him one on one, but he was such a show-offy prat in front of the others, whom Lily found just as despicable as Annabelle did. The illustrious James Potter fancying her apparently made her above condemnation, though, like royalty. Annabelle wished her friend would fall for someone else, someone nicer, so they could wash their hands of that rotten crew.

But despite Lily dating another boy that year, a seventh-year Ravenclaw called Prentis Farrell, James kept creeping into her thoughts. It didn't help that Prentis was a dead bore, and she called it quits with him after about two and half months. At least the Gryffindor team had lost the Quidditch cup, which normally wouldn't please Annabelle, and she felt a little guilty because she was not fan of Slytherin's team either, but it wounded the egos of James, Sirius, and Peter, which was reason enough for her to be glad.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius instantly regretted the encounter when he saw how fast Annabelle O'Neill was walking down the corridor to get away from them. He wasn't sure what it was about them that made her despise them so. She seemed to have a special disdain for him, evident in the haughty sneers she shot him whenever he dared to look at her, even though he'd never done anything to her personally. She was just so full of her own virtue, like her late grandfather's fame had gone to her head, or maybe she had been taught at a very young age to view all Purebloods in the same awful light. Either way, she was a smug princess, keen on judging people.

But the way she had practically run away, as though she was frightened by him, caused his own shame for being born a Black to rise up in his lungs, threatening to suffocate him. Of course an O'Neill would find him disturbing. He couldn't fault her for it, since he often felt a similar uneasiness when he saw the Black family genetics staring back at him in the mirror every morning. Not that he cared what she thought of his blood status. She was no one to him. In five years of school together, they'd barely spoken to each other. But still, he wasn't used to girls fleeing from him in fear.

When she had come out of the classroom, he had actually _smiled_ at her, for whatever reason; maybe he was just being polite, or not paying attention, but he certainly hadn't meant to offend her. James and Peter were trying to wind her up, but he was mostly innocent this time, he told himself. Of course he laughed when the other two did, because at fifteen, he had terrible impulse control, like most boys their age. (Professor Sprout had told him that during a detention once.) After she had called them wankers and disappeared down the corridor and out of sight (which also made him laugh, mainly because she was right), he turned round to reproach them.

"What the hell was that? Doesn't that girl hate us enough?"

"You were laughing, too," retorted Peter, not keen on being scolded. "And honestly, I don't care if she hates me."

"I have to agree with Pete," said James. "She's looked down her nose at us since day one. Why should we tiptoe around her?"

"Because she wasn't bothering us," said Sirius. "She may be a priss, but it just feels wrong."

"It is wrong," confirmed Remus. "Live and let live."

"I still think she's the reason Evans won't date James," Peter prodded. "She has to be. Probably going to run and tell her about the mean lads laughing at her."

Remus shook his head. "Way to instigate, Wormtail. Lily won't date James because she thinks he is immature and full of himself. And after this little scene, who could blame her? That's her best friend you're sneering at."

"Ouch," said James. "Love you too, Moony."

Remus huffed in frustration. " _She_ said it, not me. I'm just the messenger!"

"You're only defending her because she isn't an uppity hag to you," accused Peter.

"Do you think laughing at her is going to get her warm up to you?" Remus asked, and the boys quietly considered his admonition. "I'm going inside," he muttered. "It's almost time for detention to start."

"I'm done teasing that one," said Sirius before following Remus inside. "I don't care if she hates us, or whatever her naff problem is, but it isn't fun anymore when I actually feel bad about it."

James shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Since when does Padfoot care about offending people?" asked Peter. "It isn't like we said anything to her."

"Eh, maybe they're right. It was pretty lame of us to stand there and laugh at her for no reason," admitted James, who didn't like that Lily thought of him as immature. She had been so close to giving him a chance – he could feel it - but something always messed everything up. Maybe he did need to stop teasing O'Neill.

"No reason? She told you and Sirius off last year in class over Snivellus, of all people, and after he shredded her in front of the entire class, she still looks at us like we're shite! How do you explain that?"

"You know she only did it for Lily's sake," James replied. "Lily has defended Snivellus countless times, and I got over it. I think we can get over O'Neill doing it _once_ , okay, mate? She's not even friends with the twerp. Besides, I'm not going to be some loser holding a grudge against a bird I don't even know."

"Sorry, but I don't get over it when anyone defends Snivellus," grumbled Peter as he followed James into the classroom. "And if you ask me, Evans and O'Neill are both barking mad."

"Not Lily, mate," warned James as they entered detention. "Watch yourself."

"Sorry, James," replied Peter, and hung his head like a puppy that had been scolded by his master.

 


	2. Unwanted Change

**_Sixth Year - Autumn 1976  
_ **

It was only the first week of his sixth year and already Sirius could feel change was in the air. Unwanted change, to be specific. James, his best friend, was back with his on again off again girlfriend, Lily, and this time it seemed like they might actually make it work. Sirius was not jealous. He had no interest in Lily. Yes, she was pretty. Yes, she was intelligent. But he was hard to impress. And because of his upbringing by parents that showed their version of love with their fists and their crushing words, and treated him like property instead of like a son, he was extremely guarded. Trust did not come easy for him.

He knew that girls were drawn to him, but he didn't care. Most of them were phonies, including Elsinore Collins, the tall blonde Slytherin that he had known since childhood. From their first year, she acted like she owned him, probably because her parents were hoping to arrange a marriage between them someday, and she made sure everyone else knew it. They "dated" for a week during their second year, mainly because of peer pressure; he was just doing what he thought he was supposed to do since his friends encouraged him to say yes when she asked him out. People thought they went out for much longer than they actually had, because Elsinore gave that impression. They even shared a very awkward, sloppy kiss. He felt nothing toward her, except irritation maybe. His friend Peter still harped on and on about it, how Sirius let 'the hottest bird at Hogwarts' go. Peter was so shallow about girls though, judging merely by appearances, and couldn't see that Elsinore was rotten on the inside, sharing the same pureblood mentality that he'd come to loathe. She had called him a "tease" and told him to grow up, which even at the time seemed like a stupid thing to say to a twelve-year-old. He knew that dating her had been a mistake. She reminded him too much of home.

The experience had turned him off to dating in general, since most of the girls who pursued him and had the guts to ask him out barely knew him. They just fancied him for his athleticism, his prestigious family name, and what he felt the most awkward and embarrassed about when it was pointed out to him - his "dreamy" good looks. He looked like his miserable father, and that was enough for him to take their flattery with a grain of salt.

Not all girls fancied him though. Most of them were pureblood Slytherins, whose families he knew and considered him a blood traitor, although there were few who thought it was their mission to bring him back to the fold, like Elsinore. Some were Ravenclaws, mostly intellectuals who would rather discuss books than watch a Quidditch match and wrote him off as a cocky and shallow. He didn't mind. He wanted nothing to do with the Slytherins; sharing classes with them was painful enough without voluntarily spending time with any of them. And the Ravenclaws were right, he was cocky to a degree, but not for the reasons most people thought. Contrary to popular belief, he did not think he was special because of his family name, and he wasn't vain enough to care what they said about his looks. But he did love Quidditch; it was his favourite thing, his obsession, and he was proud of his athletic abilities. If that made him seem cocky, then so be it.

Yet there was so much more to him than most people knew, because he kept it hidden, reserved only for a trusted few, and they included James, Remus, and Peter, his roommates since first year. Even James' girlfriend once noted how he had girls fainting in his wake and yet he didn't bat an eye (she had a flair for the melodramatic). The truth was, he wasn't paying attention, too caught up in the next Quidditch practise, the next play devised. He ate, slept, and dreamt Quidditch, especially of beating Slytherin. And not just because they were their toughest competitors. It was personal.

And when he wasn't thinking about Quidditch, he was busy sneaking about the castle and finding trouble with his mates. Anything to keep his mind off his family, and his past. Anything not to invite in more drama than he already had to deal with, and girls, from his observations, were drama.

So this was why the rekindling of the James and Lily trainwreck irritated him so. After a year of James pining for her, trying to impress her, and then finally giving up trying to get her back, she was suddenly interested again, much to Sirius' confusion and disappointment. And while he had nothing personal against Lily, James was not on his game when he was with her. Also, Sirius had to share his partner in crime, meaning he was left with a lot more free time while Peter mingled with members of the chess club, and Remus studied to catch up on work missed due to his turning into a Werewolf once a month.

Nothing, though, _nothing_ could have prepared him for the feeling of indignation when James sat down next to him at lunch the second day of the new term and begged him to change lab partners in Potions so he could be with Lily. He and James had been lab partners since the beginning. And now, just a few days into the semester, James was changing things. Not to mention Lily's current lab partner, that would become his if he agreed to this ridiculous idea.

"Come on, Sirius," James whined. "It turns out she's not as big a wench as we thought she was. I've talked to her a few times and she's actually rather nice. Please? Lily really wants me to sit with her."

Lily had him wrapped around her finger. Sirius couldn't believe how fast he was to jump ship now that he and Lily were _official_.

"How does O'Neill feel about it?" he asked. "Let me remind you, first of all, she thinks I'm shite, and secondly... well… she really thinks I'm shite. She actually agreed to this?"

"She hasn't asked her yet," James replied. "She wanted to see what you said first."

Peter interjected, "O'Neill will never agree to it. She's a stuck-up hag."

"Stay out of this, mate," James scolded him through gritted teeth. Peter just shrugged and went back to his food.

Sirius ignored Peter's remark and thought for a minute about his options. He could say no, and appear to be a big baby, and a selfish friend. Worse, he could appear to be intimidated by Lily's best friend, Annabelle O'Neill, who wasn't exactly a part of the faction of girls that liked him. Or he could say yes, be the good friend, and be paired with a girl that found him abhorrent.

He had noticed her aversion to him from the start, on the train to Hogwarts first year to be exact, when he and James teased Snape in front of her and Lily. She pretty much avoided him after that, didn't seem to acknowledge his existence, except to shoot him dirty looks every now and then, until fourth year. That year, they had a run-in with each other. She had tried to be noble by sticking up for Snape in class when Sirius, James, and Peter were teasing him. She clearly wasn't doing it for Snape, but for Lily, who was still friends with Snivellus at the time. As his thanks, Snape called her a manky bitch and told her to piss off, to which she responded by calling him a pathetic maggot. Sirius had hoped she'd maybe gained some insight that day as to why he didn't like Snape, but the dirty looks only increased, so Sirius gladly returned the favour.

Sometimes he wondered if it was something more than the Snivellus stuff that bugged her, as in the fact that she was not a pureblood and he was a Black. And she wasn't only a mixed-blood witch, she was the granddaughter of Darien O'Neill, a wizard celebrated for his humanitarianism. He was the "anti-pureblood" of sorts. Another reason he hated his name; it signalled to non-purebloods that he might be prejudiced, or worse, dangerous. She had practically run from them that day last year in the corridor. He sometimes wondered if he was missing out on knowing anyone decent because they were afraid of his family's reputation. Either way, he wasn't fond of the way she regarded him, the disapproving goody-goody.

"Come on mate," James pleaded. "I really want to make it work with Lily this time. Please, just say it's okay."

"And the Professor is okay with it?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, he said to just let him know so he can document the change for marking purposes."

"But doesn't she stink at potions?" Sirius asked, reaching for any reason not to go through with it. "She is barely passing that class. And you want me to be her lab partner and get marked with her? That's not fair."

"You can help her!" James appealed. "You are an ace at Potions. It's your chance to help someone else!"

Sirius laughed bitterly. "Yeah, if you can get her to talk me."

Remus chimed in, "Well, maybe this is your chance to make amends. To clear the air. She's not that bad. You would see that if you got to know her."

Remus had been on friendly terms with her since she discovered him in a hallway, very sick and about to transform during their first year. He had still been at the age when even though his body was aching and the signs of his approaching transformation were all there, he'd sometimes get distracted, forgetting the time, and would have to run to meet Madam Pomfrey who would escort him to the Shrieking Shack. One evening he'd been so caught up with his mates, he hadn't remembered until it was too late. Annabelle had been confused and scared when she'd come upon him shaking violently and moaning in pain, and she'd summoned Dumbledore. After he delivered Remus to safety, Dumbledore called her into his office and explained the situation to her so she would know the importance of not talking about it with others. It was also the last time he forgot to meet the nurse. Annabelle had kept the secret for years and hadn't acted the least bit put off by the information. At least she had one thing going for her, Sirius thought; she wasn't a big mouth when it came to secrets. And apparently Dumbledore trusted her, so that was saying something.

"How did she even get into Advanced Potions?" sneered Peter. "Don't you need an Exceptional on your O.W.L.? Pays to have connections, I tell ya."

"Who the hell cares?" snapped James. "Sirius? Will you switch? Please?"

James was begging and it was embarrassing for Sirius to see his friend in this state. He figured why not just go with it. Annabelle would most likely say no, and then she would look like the hag. Not his problem.

"Fine. It's okay with me. But good luck convincing her."

James smiled. "That will be Lily's job. Thanks mate. I owe you one!"

"That's an understatement," Sirius muttered.

Remus smiled and shook his head as James motioned to Lily with a thumbs up, who was watching, waiting for the verdict.

 


	3. What are Friends for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!

 Lily grinned excitedly when she saw James give the signal. She had been friends with Annabelle since they met in King's Cross Station, their first year at Hogwarts. Annabelle was by herself, and could not figure out how to get through the barrier to Platform 9 ¾. Lily's then friend, Severus Snape, proudly showed them how it was done. Lily had liked Annabelle from the start; she was down-to-earth and easy to talk to, and she hoped that she and Annabelle would become great friends. After being sorted into the same house and placed in the same dorm room, it wasn't long before they were inseparable, along with one of their other roommates, Alice Prewett. Sadly, Severus was jealous of Annabelle right off the bat, as he would be of all of her mates in time, and despite Annabelle's efforts to become his friend, he remained standoffish with her, barely tolerating her presence.

Lily and Severus had grown apart over the years, or more like she had grown away from him and his hold on her. He was solitary whereas Lily was sociable, and his constant possessiveness and jealousy were exhausting her. Recently he'd been chumming around with a very sinister lot; she knew they practised the Dark Arts and she feared he was getting in over his head with them. She felt guilty about distancing herself from him, especially when James and his mates teased him, but that was in the past. James hadn't bothered Severus, that she knew of anyway, in a while, except for that incident in June when he flipped him upside down. It had been awful to witness, and she had attempted help him, but Severus crushed her by calling her a mudblood in front of everyone. He told her didn't mean it, but his choice in friends made that hard to believe. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, her friendship with him had run its course.

James had begged her forgiveness for what he'd done, promising her he'd leave Severus alone, and had written her the most endearing letters all summer long, which was part of the reason she decided to give him another chance. That, and he was irresistible to her. The farther she and Severus drifted apart, the more she was drawn to James. He had a light and spirit to him that Severus somehow lacked, he seemed to truly care about his friends, and it didn't hurt that he was adorable.

It was hard to find time alone with him, living at school and all. She wanted to be near him all the time, and being his partner in Potions meant she could have him all to herself for those few precious hours every week. She had to tread lightly, though. Annabelle would not be easy to convince that this was a good plan.

"Annie, can I talk to you about something?" she asked, a great gentleness in her voice as an attempt to soften Annabelle up.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well, I have a small favour to ask... You know how James and I are trying to make this work and everything, and you know how I feel about him."

Annabelle nodded. "Of course."

Lily paused uneasily, then blurted out, "We asked Professor Slughorn and he said it was fine with him if Sirius Black and I switched lab partners."

Annabelle's brow furrowed as what Lily said began to sink in. "Wait, you mean you want James to be your lab partner, and I would have to be Sirius Black's lab partner?"

Lily nodded nervously. Annabelle shifted her position to face Lily.

"Lily, let me ask you something. What in the world makes you think I would be okay with this?" The hurt was evident in her shaky voice.

Lily was well aware of the acrimony between Annabelle and James and his mates. She had witnessed its inception all those years ago, and had watched it solidify over the years. They didn't like each other. Lily wasn't all that fond of any of them in the beginning either, for the same reasons as Annabelle, but something changed with James, and she started to see him differently. For all his attempts to show off, he really was just an adorable goof, and he had grown on her something awful. He'd recently managed to convince her that Sirius was not that bad, just a bit temperamental. Lily had spoken to him on several occasions when she was with James, and he really did seem rather normal, even sweet in a quiet, brooding way, she hated to admit.

"Because you're my best friend, and you love me?" Lily responded hopefully.

Annabelle shook her head. "Absolutely not." Turning back toward the table, she asked, "Isn't there a better way to arrange this, preferably with me _not_ as Black's lab partner?"

Lily frowned, but did not give up. "Come on, Annabelle, please? I just don't feel comfortable asking others to get involved, especially since it's easiest for you and James to just switch. Slughorn won't like his whole class being rearranged, either. If it doesn't work out, James will switch back with you."

"No, he won't. And I will be stuck with a lab partner who thinks I'm nothing. Just another half-blood to be stepped on," Annabelle spat back angrily. For all her sweetness, she was also a temperamental, brooding thing when the mood struck her.

"I am telling you, Annie, he isn't that bad. James told me he's not into all that pureblood rubbish, and from what I've gathered, I believe him. And they aren't little kids anymore. Haven't you noticed that they don't play pranks or get in trouble much lately? They've matured some, Sirius included. I doubt he'll be mean to you anymore."

"Maybe they've just got better at hiding what they're up to."

Annabelle was tired of hearing Lily defend them. It was quite a change from last June when she was calling them toe-rags. She knew she had to get used to James being around, because despite her dislike of him, she could tell Lily really cared about him, but expecting her to associate with his mates was asking too much.

"Besides," she added, "he won't want to be my lab partner when he knows how bad I am at potions. He is easily the smartest student in the class in regards to potions, besides you anyway, and I am easily the most inept at them. Why would he ever switch James for me?"

The whole class knew she was terrible at Potions. She had passed her O.W.L. with merely an A, and barely at that. She didn't want to be in the class anyway, but Slughorn decided to bend the rules for some students who he claimed he saw "potential" to improve. She wasn't sure what made him think she had potential, but she had a hunch that it had something to do with her deceased grandfather's famous name. She agreed to it, only to please Lily who said that as her lab partner, she'd help her through it.

"Because he wants to do a favour for his friend?" Lily replied optimistically.

Annabelle sighed. She knew if she said no, Lily would understand. She would forgive her. But she would also be sad about it for while, hurt that Annabelle couldn't do her a simple courtesy. Potions was what, three days a week for an hour? Was it really that big a deal? It's not like Sirius Black had ever done or said anything to her personally. He just sneered at her and laughed at her occasionally. Besides, he would never agree to it.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Lily beamed with delight. "Really? Are you sure Annie? I mean, if you really don't want to, I'll understand."

"Yes, I will do it. But I highly doubt he will."

"He already said he'd be willing to do it."

Annabelle winced in disappointment. "Oh."

Alice, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, added, "He probably thought you were going to say no as well."

"Why don't you switch then, Alice?" suggested Annabelle. "You and me, Remus and Sirius? There, that solves it!"

"You know I love you, Annie, but no way. I have a good thing going in that class with Remus, thank you very much. And you, my dear, are terrible at potions."

"Thank you for noticing," said Annabelle. She couldn't see any way around it. "I can't believe I am agreeing to being lab partners with Sirius Black. I must be barking mad."

Lily assured her, "I promise, if it doesn't work out we will ask Professor Slughorn to switch you back. Don't worry. You know I would do the same for you." She gave Annabelle a quick squeeze before turning to look at James and giving him the thumbs up in return.

Annabelle replied glumly, "This is going to be painful."

 

 


	4. Grudge

The next day, Annabelle ran from the library where she worked part time, to Potions, not wanting to be late again. Professor Slughorn was always so understanding, but it was embarrassing nevertheless to arrive after everyone was settled, and she couldn't afford to miss a minute of his lecture or she'd be lost. She made it with time to spare, but when she saw who was sitting in her usual seat, she narrowed her eyes. She didn't realise that when she agreed to switch partners, she was giving up her seat as well, without having been consulted first. Lily probably figured she wouldn't mind. She figured wrong. Annabelle marched right up to the lovestruck pair in the first row, swallowing her hurt. When they didn't notice her, she cleared her throat loudly. Their smiles disappeared when they saw the look on her face.

"Thanks for making the seating arrangements for me. Couldn't _he_ have moved over here?" she asked, motioning to Sirius with her head.

"Does it really make a difference, Annie?" asked Lily softly. "I didn't think it mattered who actually moved seats."

"If you want, I can ask Sirius to come over here instead," James suggested in a bored voice, "And Lily and I can-"

"No. Class is going to start. Here, Lily darling, you left your homework in the library. I brought it for you," Annabelle chirped, her smile exaggerated.

Lily flinched slightly. "Thanks Annie. What would I do without you?"

Not wanting to interrupt their special, quality time together any longer, Annabelle turned round and took three strides back to the middle aisle, middle desk, where there was empty seat next to a scowling black-haired boy. From the corner of her eye, she could see him leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest. She refused to make eye contact with him, and sat down hard in a huff, slamming her books down on the desk in front of her. She looked toward Lily who was sending her a pleading look, as if to say _please, please just try to make it work._ Annabelle averted her eyes and began doodling on her parchment, her head in one hand as her elbow rested on the double desk, completely turned away from Sirius Black.

Sirius wasn't thrilled with his best mate, either. When he and James had entered the classroom, they had been laughing and joking about something that happened at last year's Quidditch try-out. But as soon as James saw Lily, smiling and beckoning to him to sit with her in the front, James took off, with not even a farewell or thanks for the memories. At least Sirius didn't have to be the one to move to the front row. Annabelle hadn't arrived yet, and he rather hoped she'd be absent. But when she slammed herself down next to him after admonishing the lovebirds, almost smacking him in the face with her hair as she turned away from him, he had his confirmation. She didn't want to be next to him anymore more than he wanted to be next to her. This was never going to work.

They didn't look at each other for the duration of the class. Fortunately, since it was only the second class of the year, it was mostly lecture. The only classwork assigned could be done individually and was mostly review from the previous year. It wasn't easy for Annabelle, but she was not going to give Sirius the satisfaction of asking him for help.

As soon as class was over, Sirius grabbed his belongings and hurried for the door. Annabelle waited to leave until he was gone, walking out with Alice who was eager to hear how it went.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius sulked through lunch. James didn't feel bad, though.

"You didn't even talk to her," he said. "How can you judge the situation when you two sat there like a couple of little kids?"

Sirius glared at James. "Kind of hard to have a conversation when she wouldn't even look at me. Not that I wanted to look at her either."

"I'll look at her for you," Peter teased, but when nobody laughed, he said, "I mean, she's not painful to look at. As long as she keeps her mouth shut and doesn't try to hex me or something."

Sirius rolled his eyes, and continued. "I don't think this arrangement is going to last past the first partner assignment. There is no way you can be lab partners if your partner isn't speaking to you."

"Why not say something to her?" suggested Remus. "Break the ice?"

"Thanks, Remus. I'd never have thought of that," said Sirius, sarcasm lacing his words.

"It just seems like you are both being ridiculous," Remus said. "It's simple, just talk to her. If you aren't antagonistic with her, I guarantee she will respond. And before you say that it should be her to talk first; you are both in a place to make the first move. So take the high road."

"I don't think she should be required to talk to me at all, nor do I fancy a chat with her. I don't want a fight and I don't need the theatrics. Why don't you switch with her? She could be Alice's partner and you and I could be partners."

"No," Remus replied. "Slughorn won't appreciate it if we keep trying to rearrange things. And no offence, but Alice and I work well together. It is really that hard for you to be civil to her?"

Sirius stabbed at a carrot on his plate. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, despite Remus making good points. "Let's just drop it. We'll see what happens on Friday."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Meanwhile, down the table where Annabelle was sitting with her friends, the conversation went almost the same. Annabelle tried not to complain because she knew Lily didn't want to hear it. In fact, Lily wanted to pretend there wasn't a problem at all. But Alice, who sat two seats behind Annabelle and Sirius in Potions, wasn't about to let it go.

"I have to say, Annabelle," she said, "I was disappointed that you two didn't speak to each other even once. You couldn't even say hello to him? Really?"

"He didn't speak to me either." But even as she said it, she realised how childish it sounded. "Oh fine. I acted like a baby. But so did he. And he is just... _mean_." Turning to Lily, she continued, "And before you tell me again how he's changed, let me remind you that he has never done anything but glower at me. It's very hard striking up a conversation with someone who thinks you're crap."

Before Lily could respond, Alice said, "You two have this grudge over some vague, trivial rubbish that happened years ago. Maybe it's time to get over it, and yes, I mean both of you. You already have one thing in common, too much pride. And if you think he is going to be a prat when you talk to him, let him be. If that's what he's like then at least you'll have been the bigger person. But you never know, you might end up becoming friends."

Annabelle was taking a sip of water when she'd said the part about becoming friends and almost snorted it out of her nose. She knew Alice was right about the rest, though; if she was going to make the best of it, she had to get over herself. Sirius was just so intimidating, and although Annabelle would never admit that she felt this way to anyone, she didn't feel so good about being disliked by a boy everyone admired. She hated to give in though, as she never was one to blindly follow the crowd. Yet she resolved to try to break the ice, for Lily's sake, and to see for herself what he was made of. Then, she could let her friends know that she had been right to avoid him altogether. Maybe then she could get her lab partner back.

"Fine. Aside from the friends thing, you're right. One of us will have to be the mature one. And I guarantee you, after I speak to him, you will see that I am the only mature one. Now can we change the subject?"

"Yes, please," moaned Lily.

"Why couldn't James' best friend be Rowan Summerby?" Annabelle murmured. "Not that it would matter, but at least he doesn't seem put off by my existence." Rowan was a Hufflepuff with a sweet face and smile, and a peaceful way about him. He had been her crush since third year, but was currently in a relationship with another Hufflepuff called Darcy Price.

"You need to stop drooling over that one," warned Alice. "He's taken. You've turned down some decent lads just so you can fawn over someone who's in love with someone else."

Annabelle lowered her head and pushed her food around her plate. "Don't remind me he's taken," she said. "It ruins the fantasy."

 


	5. Fair Enough

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next Potions class arrived sooner than Annabelle would have liked. She actually made it to class a few minutes early, before Sirius even, and sat there gathering her courage. She couldn't quite resolve her feelings. Why should she care what this shallow git thought of her? Maybe the idea of confrontation was the real issue. She didn't care about him or his opinions of her, she just didn't want to be forced to deal with him if he was cruel.

And just like that, he was there, plunking down in his seat and reclining, his arms crossed over himself, and she took her usual position - elbow on desk, head in hand, body turned away. James gave Sirius a look of urging, which Annabelle didn't see because she was vigorously doodling on her parchment, trying to get the confidence to talk to him. She was so tense that her forehead was sweating, but then Slughorn started class. Relief flooded her, followed by shame at being such a shrinking violet, something her grandfather told her never to be. She sat up straighter and began taking notes, telling herself she would talk to him after class.

A teacher lecturing a class was no deterrent to Sirius though, who swallowed his pride and his own intimidation, and finally spoke to the self-righteous witch next to him, lest James think him a chicken. Annabelle jumped when he suddenly leaned forward and whispered quite loudly, "Are you going to give me the silent treatment for the rest of the year?"

Annabelle was blindsided. All along she had been positive she would have to talk to him first. She wasn't prepared for this.

"What do you mean?" she asked indignantly, not looking directly at him out of nervousness, and fear the teacher would reprimand them. "It isn't just me participating in the silence. You haven't spoken to me until now."

"Fair enough," he said quietly. He leaned back in his chair, and Annabelle thought that was it, just a strange interjection. But a minute later, he was back.

"Since we're lab partners, don't you think we should be civil to each other, at least during class time?"

Annabelle resisted the impulse to be sarcastic, and considered his question. She was going to be mature, at least until she figured out his agenda. Then the gloves would be coming off.

"Yes, I do. I am fully willing to communicate with you civilly," she said, still only looking at him out of the corner of her eye. "But we should wait until he's done lecturing, or we will have detention the first weekend back."

Detention rarely ever occurred to Sirius, which is probably why he had had so many of them over the years. Missing parts of the lecture certainly didn't affect him. He could pass the final exam in that class without ever setting foot in the classroom. All he had to do was glance at someone's notes and he got it. He was gifted; all things wizarding came easy to him. It amused him that she was so concerned about getting into trouble. Annabelle heard him chuckle under his breath, and for the first time, she looked him directly in eyes.

"You know, potions don't come as easy to me as they do you," she whispered sharply. "I need to listen very closely in here if I'm going to contribute to our labs at all. I am not ashamed to say this class is difficult for me."

Sirius' haughty grin faded. She may have been a stuck up teacher's pet, _Dumbledore's Darling_ as he and his mates had secretly dubbed her, but she had just admitted something about herself to him, something she struggled with, as though she was asking him to ease up on her. Now felt guilty for laughing, and decided to take a new approach, since his current snarky, defensive one wasn't working. He was just giving her more reasons to hate him.

Instead of speaking, he wrote on a piece of parchment, **_I can help you, if you want. I'm good at potions._**

Annabelle read the note and smirked. Sirius was put off by her again. She wrote back, **_Thanks, I think. But I'll manage._**

That confirmed it, she really thought he was an arse. Sure, he and his mates had tormented Snivellus on occasion, but Snape and his mates were no saints either, that was for sure. First impressions are important for a reason, though, and Annabelle's first impression of Sirius was that he was a malicious troll. He leaned back in his chair and tried to zone out, but he was so aware of her all of a sudden. Every flip of her hair, scratch of her quill, and her petulant frown felt like a condemnation. But she had him all wrong, and he hated that.

Changing her mind about him would be difficult, he knew, but he never backed down from a challenge.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The first weekend back was a bit of a let-down, at least to Annabelle. She had to cover a shift in the library, and when she was free, Lily was off with James, so it was just her and Alice with a few other girls from their year, catching up and playing card games. It was nice to get back into the swing of things, even though she had to endure a million questions from her nosy, boy-crazy dorm mates about being Sirius Black's lab partner. _How can you sit next to him and not melt? Is he nice? Do you think you'll be friends?_ She was glad that she didn't have to be near him the entire weekend, though at one point they made eye contact in the courtyard where he was playing catch with James. Of course, he glowered at her, and she returned the sentiment. But Monday was staring her in the face, and once again, she rushed from the library to Potions lab in an attempt to make it on time.

Sirius was already there, talking to Remus, who greeted her timidly. "Hello, Annabelle," he said with his sweet smile, discreetly nudging Sirius at the same time.

"Yes, hello," Sirius muttered. Remus couldn't help but grin.

"Hello," Annabelle responded flatly as she sat down.

"Right, we'll talk later," Remus said to Sirius and patted his shoulder. Annabelle couldn't see what Remus had in common with this plonker.

Professor Slughorn cleared his throat and announced a surprise test. The colour drained from Annabelle's face and she slunk down in her chair. She never did well on surprise tests. She just didn't understand the magical properties of potion making well enough. Sirius sensed her dread, but after the previous class, he wasn't about to say anything for fear she would misconstrue it.

The tests were passed out and Sirius breezed through it, while Annabelle stared at her paper and fought the urge to cry. For five minutes, she fought with her brain, but it had gone blank.

As Sirius put his quill down, he noticed she had only written her name. He nudged her arm. She glanced at him to acknowledge she was listening, but looked down again to avoid trouble. Sirius slowly pushed his paper toward her so she could see his answers. When she realised what he was suggesting, she gave a small shake of the head to say no. She was not going to copy from him, someone whom she didn't trust as far as she could throw him. She went through the questions and began guessing, but he was watching, and gently nudged her foot with his own. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye, and he shook his head, signalling she was putting the wrong answer. She erased it. She guessed again and he signalled that she was right. This was ridiculous, though. It was still cheating. When she guarded her paper with her arm, Sirius gave up trying to help her. She would rather fail a test than accept his help. Was she crazy? He was astounded by her stubbornness. And now she probably thought even worse of him, the goody-two-shoes.

While the tests were being collected, Sirius took the chance to try again.

"Listen, I wasn't being a tosser when I offered to help you with Potions the other day, all right? Is it so hard to believe I might be sincere?"

She was incredulous. "Honestly? You want to help me? You want to do a good deed for me?"

He didn't respond, and she continued anyway, looking directly at him. "You can stop sneering at me every time you make eye contact with me, if you really want to do a good deed. In the corridors, the common room, outside, in the library. The smirks, the glares, all of it. Maybe then I'd more open to your sincerity."

Now it was his turn to be incredulous. "Wait just a minute. I was under the impression that _you_ were giving _me_ the nasty looks. Every single time, even if I look at you by accident, you scowl at me. So maybe if you'd stop giving the looks, I would stop returning them to you."

Annabelle laughed, unable to believe what she was hearing. "Are you taking the mick? You must be. Because I was only returning _your_ dirty looks. So what do you think of that?"

Lily and James turned round and shot reproachful glances at them, and Lily raised a finger to her lips to shush them. Sirius and Annabelle paid them no mind.

Sirius retorted in a hushed, but frustrated voice, "I think… I think…" But he was confused. They were both claiming the same thing. He looked down. "Ah I don't know what to think. I know you don't like me much, and I know it's because you thought I was targeting Snape. And I reckon I was, sort of, but you don't know the whole story. You don't know what Snape…" he trailed off. When he looked at her, he saw the rage had dissipated from her eyes, and she was looking at him like a human being for a change. "And I haven't always been very polite with you in general… You must think I'm a monster."

"Miss O'Neill and Mr. Black," Professor Slughorn scolded. "Please pay attention." All eyes turned to the two of them, and again, Lily and James made pleading faces for them to stop, no doubt because they feared switching back to their original lab partners. Annabelle rolled her eyes and looked away. She was taken aback by what Sirius had just said and tried her best to respond.

"No…no. I don't," she whispered. "I mean, a monster? That's rather harsh, and you obviously think I'm harsh. Did I think you were arrogant and cruel? Yes, not that I really give a fig about Severus Snape. But you're right. I don't know the whole story, so I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for giving the impression that I thought you were a monster. I don't know how you and I got to this place, really, I mean, maybe we both contributed to it. We don't really know each other at all, yet we acted as if we did. I'm rambling... I'll stop."

"O'Neill and Black! I said enough chatter!"

Sirius paused, and when the professor finally turned his back, he replied, "No, that actually made sense. Maybe we could cut each other a little slack, since we don't really know each other. At least for the sake of passing this class."

"Oh, please," Annabelle said in a soft voice. "You will pass this class no matter who your lab partner is. I'm the one that's in trouble, now that I lost Lily."

"Well, if we could get past our grudges, then maybe I can help you. I'm not trying to show off. I just want to help."

"Last warning Black and O'Neill," Slughorn threatened.

She still wasn't sure if he was being sincere or if he was messing her about. She just couldn't bring herself to trust him completely, even though she wanted to believe him. After a few minutes, Annabelle whispered again to Sirius.

"I am willing to start over if you are. But that means an end to all dirty looks and snickering."

"That sounds like a plan. Let's shake on it and start fresh." As they shook hands, he said in an overly cheerful voice, "Hello there. My name is Sirius Black. I see we're going to be lab partners this year. Nice to meet you."

Annabelle grinned in spite of herself. "I'm Annabelle O'Neill. I look forward to working with you."

Sirius laughed. "Co-workers. I'll take it."

"That does it. Detention, Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill. Saturday at 1 PM sharp, scrubbing floors. See you here." Their smiles turned to frowns.

"Oh come on," Sirius muttered. "Already?"

"There goes the first Hogsmeade visit for us," bemoaned Annabelle. Lab partners with him for barely a week, and already she was in trouble.

Now they were both scowling, but for once it wasn't at each other. And for a third time, James and Lily glared at them, this time with annoyance and disappointment on their faces. James was visibly angry at Sirius, who rolled his eyes and looked away. Annabelle just shrugged at Lily and threw up her hands as if to say, "too late now."

At the end of class, as they were gathering their things, Sirius said, "I don't want to wait around for a lecture from James, so I'm going to bolt. I meant what I said about helping you though…" he trailed off as he headed for the door. James followed close behind him, an irritated look on his face, but Lily caught up to Annabelle just as she was attempting her own escape.

"Great, Annie. Now you can't go to Hogsmeade."

"So what? Hogsmeade is a boring little village. And don't pretend you weren't going to sneak off with James anyway, so what difference does it make if I am there or not? Three's a crowd, right?"

Lily flinched, her face pained. "Do you really think I would ditch you? Merlin, Annie, what must you think of me?" She turned to walk away.

Annabelle reached out to stop her. "Wait." Lily turned back to face her, and Annabelle softened. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean it that way. I know how much you care about him and I'd never begrudge you what makes you happy. You know as well as I do that you'll want to spend time with him in Hogsmeade, just the two of you. And there is nothing wrong with that. I just meant that you'll barely have time to miss me, so why fret about it?"

Lily had tears in her eyes. "Are you sure you're not angry with me for spending so much time with him? Because if you are, I'll understand, believe me, I will. If it was the other way around and you were off with some lad all the time, I'd miss you like mad."

"I'm not angry. It was bound to happen sooner or later and I'm okay with that. Really. And don't worry about me and any lad. No one is even slightly interesting to me so far this year, besides Rowan of course." She feigned a yawn.

They started toward the door. "Not even your new lab partner?" asked Lily, grinning impishly.

"Ha! Not even him. Contrary to popular belief, not every girl at Hogwarts wants to date Sirius Black."

"You two couldn't seem to stop talking to each other today."

"And? Good grief, we were just hashing out our differences so we could clear the air like you and James wanted. It was nothing more than that. I still don't know him, and honestly, I still don't trust him."

"But you cleared up your differences?"

"For the most part. At the very least we are going to work on being more polite when we see each other."

"That's a good start. I'm proud of you. Tell me how it happened," Lily said as she the two girls linked arms and headed to the Great Hall for lunch.

 


	6. Smirks to Smiles

At lunch, the Gryffindor sixth-year girls at their section of the table were full of questions. Some said they were jealous that Annabelle had detention with Sirius Black. Others wanted to know what he smelled like. It was rather annoying, considering Annabelle didn't share their fascination with him.

"I told you already. We were arguing for most of class, and then we decided for the sake of passing, we would go along to get along. That's _all_. There were no snogging sessions, or marriage proposals, or anything else you might have in mind. Merlin, can we let it go already? This is so embarrassing."

Dominica Dávila, a fellow sixth-year who was normally friendly with Annabelle, had been sitting quietly, not contributing to the conversation. Now, she narrowed her eyes and said, "Next thing you're going to say is that you don't think he's attractive." Everyone went silent, looking from Dominica to Annabelle.

Annabelle was hurt by her tone. "Nooo… Actually, I can acknowledge that he's attractive. I'm not blind. We just haven't exactly been friends if you know what mean. And even if we had been, what do his looks have to do with Potions Lab? It doesn't really matter what he looks like, does it? I'm sorry, but I don't get the connection."

Dominica didn't answer, but instead shook her head, a condescending sneer plastered on her face. Annabelle was stung by her attitude, but didn't feel like getting into a debate with another person again that day.

"Oh, but Annabelle, he's so beautiful!" Septima Scroggie wailed. "How can you remain calm sitting next to him... looking at him... speaking to him?! I wouldn't be able to focus on Potions!"

Sensing Annabelle's frustration, Alice answered for her. "Annie knows beauty is only skin deep. Now let's change the subject already."

"Yes, let's please," Lorelei Twonk, a gruff, husky sixth-year blurted out, her mouth full of food. "Just shut the hell up about him already."

Annabelle mouthed a thank-you to her diminutive but mighty friend, Alice. The truth was, Annabelle did think Sirius was handsome. She'd be a fool to pretend he wasn't. It didn't matter, because she thought he was malicious and smug. After speaking to him, she wasn't so sure anymore, but one conversation wasn't enough to convince her. She wouldn't let his looks distract her, though, if for no other reason than she didn't want to turn into Septima Scroggie.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Remus was shaking his head as he listened to James berate Sirius for getting a detention for the first Saturday in Hogsmeade. Sirius had had enough.

"Look, you wanted me to make amends with her. Well that just doesn't happen in the blink of an eye. One actually has to talk to the person and sort things out. And she still isn't keen on me, honestly."

"When Slughorn told you to stop, why didn't you just stop and talk to her after class?" James demanded.

"Because it was a heated discussion. I didn't want to leave it without resolving it then and there. And neither did she, because she was talking just as much as I was. What are you laughing at, Moony?"

"I just think it's funny that James wanted you to talk to her, so you do what he asks, and now he is angry at you for talking to her," explained Remus.

"I am not angry about that!" James exclaimed, running his hand through his already messy hair. "I'm angry that he didn't stop!"

"You will barely notice my absence," Sirius assured him. "You'll be with Lily most of the time anyway. So what's the big deal?"

James thought about it. It was true. He was so used to spending the afternoons in Hogsmeade with his mates that it hadn't occurred to him it would be different this year. It made him wistful and he grew quiet.

"That wasn't an insult," said Sirius. "It's just reality."

"I know," said James. "Are you going to use the replacement wand?"

The replacement wand was the extra wand they had procured from James' parents after James had pretended to lose his original. It came in rather handy for detentions.

"Not sure yet. I mean, what if she tells? That thing is a godsend to us. We can't risk losing it."

"She won't tell," Remus said. "She's not like that, I keep telling you."

Sirius considered his words. Remus seemed to know her only slightly better than the rest of them, but why would he risk losing the wand if he wasn't sure she was trustworthy?

"Maybe I will use it then. And for the record, I don't really want to spend Saturday afternoon stuck here either. But at least O'Neill and I are on better terms, so that should cheer you up. Your lab partnership with Lily is not in imminent danger."

"That is good news," James agreed.

Caradoc Dearborn, another sixth-year and fellow Quidditch team member nudged Sirius, and said smarmily, "Hey, if you don't want her for a lab partner, I'll take her, mate."

Edmund Kittle added, "I'd like her to be my partner in more ways than one!"

Sirius knew they were just showing off, but felt compelled to redirect the conversation away from Annabelle. He didn't like hearing the rude talk about girls. It felt predatory.

"Knock it off. She's a human being. Never thought I would say she's lucky to have me for a lab partner instead of the likes of you toe-rags."

"Oh, relax, we're just taking the piss." Caradoc said.

"You shouldn't take the piss like that," interjected John Bemis, aka Johnny B., the only openly gay student at Hogwarts, and also the most awesome Chaser the Gryffindor Quidditch team had ever known. "Makes you sound like a pervert."

Johnny B. was friends with all the sixth-year Gryffindor girls. He was staggeringly handsome with his thick shocks of raven hair and ice blue eyes, hilariously funny, and kind-hearted as the day is long. Even though none of the girls had a chance with him, they were drawn to him like moths to the flame, so he didn't feel comfortable when his mates made crude remarks about any of them.

"Whatever. Enjoy your detention, mate," Caradoc said.

"I will, thank you very much," Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

As the students were filing out of the Great Hall, Sirius and Annabelle caught sight of each other. The initial response was almost to grimace, but they remembered their deal. Sirius smiled, then twisted his face into an exaggerated grin. Annabelle couldn't help but laugh, then pointed at her own embellished, squinty-eyed smile. Sirius laughed, too. Of course, her friends noticed and started freaking out, and Annabelle had to explain.

This happened a few more times before the next lab. Passing in the corridors, in the library, in the Great Hall at breakfast, across classrooms, Sirius and Annabelle were forced to smile at each other if they were to uphold their bargain. And every time, they made it silly and exaggerated, just so the other would be sure it was a smile and not a glare. People were starting to notice, mainly because they were usually a pair who avoided each other at all costs. But they kept it up anyway.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The next Potions class arrived, and for the first time since becoming Sirius Black's lab partner, Annabelle was not nervous or annoyed. She wasn't thrilled either, because Sirius was still a stranger and she didn't know quite how it would work out in the long term. More importantly, she missed sitting with her best friend. But at least she no longer felt like she was being fed to the wolves. Maybe he wasn't as bad as she had thought.

She sat down just as class was starting, and Sirius acknowledged her by nodding his head, which let her know he was trying to be on his best behaviour. After the lecture, they had to work together on the assignment. Once again, Annabelle was lost, but she let Sirius explain everything to her in his own way. When she didn't comprehend something, he was patient, and instead of laughing at her like she thought he would, he was helpful. It actually made more sense when he explained it, so maybe he was right, maybe she could use his help. Lily was brilliant at Potions, but she couldn't explain them to save her life, which meant Annabelle had remained clueless while Lily did most of the work. For the first time since she'd been at Hogwarts, Annabelle felt like she wasn't guessing at Potions. A small part of her still wasn't keen on accepting his help, but she needed it, so she swallowed her pride.

At the end of class, Annabelle said, "Thanks. You actually cleared up a lot of that lesson for me."

Sirius began gathering his books, slightly affected by her thanks. "It's no problem, really. It's only right since we're partners now. In fact, I can help you with assignments, as well. I know Slughorn likes to throw some tricks in there."

"I may take you up on that. I wish I could return the favour, but I think you are pretty well set in every subject," Annabelle said as she slung her rucksack over her shoulder.

Sirius smiled sheepishly. "Not quite every subject, but mostly."

They walked to the door together, forgetting to wait for Lily and James. "By the way," said Sirius, "I think we can stop with the crazy smiles now, don't you? I think my face is going to crack the next time I see you."

Annabelle grinned. "That's fine with me. People are starting to think we're completely mad."

"That's not to say I want to go back to the old way of things," he said. "The whole battle of the dirty looks thing was miserable."

"Of course not. The days of dirty looks are gone."

"That's a relief," Sirius replied, and he meant it. He didn't realise how stressful encounters with her had been until they had made amends and stopped the bad behaviour. And he much preferred her smiles to her glares. A weight had been lifted for both of them.

 


	7. Sweetheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Slight adjustment to Quidditch history at Hogwarts. I always thought it odd that the wizarding world was so old-fashioned in many ways yet so liberal about co-ed sports. In the real 1970s, women were fighting for their rights, so for this story, I am going the historical route. It just makes sense to me, so hopefully you'll enjoy what this small twist does for the story. :)
> 
> And James is kind of an a-hole in the beginning, but stay with me...

 

Potions was cancelled on Friday due to an Activities Fair in the Great Hall. First Dumbledore spoke of all the extracurricular opportunities at Hogwarts, and how students should get involved in the school community. Then students went round to different tables where a few kids from those clubs were stationed in order to give out information to prospective members. The Quidditch teams each had a table, the team captains ready to recruit prospective players. James, captain of the Gryffindor team, and Sirius, who was there to assist, would be there for the duration of the fair, and Lily felt it only natural that she pay James a visit.

"Let's go over and say hello. Please?" Lily implored Annabelle.

"Lil, he's busy. I feel silly going over there. It's all boys!"

The Quidditch teams at Hogwarts were comprised solely of males; years had passed without a single female player, even though there was nothing in the rules that said girls couldn't play. Annabelle always thought that was a shame, not that she wanted to play. Quidditch looked like a terrifying sport from her perspective. But there might have been girls that wanted to play, yet were under the impression that they weren't welcome.

"Come on, just for minute," Lily pleaded. "Just to say hi. We won't stay. But I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him either."

Annabelle hadn't forgot how the boys had laughed at her last year, just because they could, and her stomach clenched despite her relations with Sirius improving somewhat.

"Fine, but just for a minute. And if I sense they are annoyed, I'm leaving. You can stay if you want."

That was good enough for Lily, and they casually strolled over to the table.

"Hello, sweetheart," Lily greeted him innocently. "How are sign-ups going?"

James' cheeks went crimson at being called sweetheart in front of his mates, which made Annabelle chuckle a little. Sirius couldn't hide his smile either, but she wasn't sure if it was Lily's word choice or James' reaction to it that he found humorous.

"Brilliant," James replied. "But we're a bit busy at the moment."

"Hello, Annabelle. Enjoying the fair?" Sirius inquired cheerfully, presumably in an attempt to cut the tension.

"Oh yes, so crushed that I have to leave for work in a few minutes," she joked, eager to escape the sudden awkwardness between the four of them.

Sirius laughed and so did Lily, but James didn't. Sirius jabbed him with his elbow in an attempt to get him to mind his manners, and James responded with a fake laugh, then looked back at the paper in front of him. He was acting like a prat over the sweetheart comment.

"Can you come back later, Lily?" He kept his eyes trained on the paper. "We are trying to recruit team members, so…"

Annabelle suddenly felt very protective toward Lily, whose smile had dimmed, her hurt and contempt starting to show. This was the same boy that had pestered her year after year, sometimes even embarrassing her with his proclamations of love, and now he was giving her the cold shoulder for calling him sweetheart? He was infuriating.

"Sure," Lily snapped. "See you later." She took Annabelle's wrist and turned to go.

"Hold on," said Annabelle, her eyes fixed on James. "Girls are allowed to sign up for try-outs as well, yeah?"

James smirked. "Sure, if they want to. Are you two here to sign up?"

He snickered and nudged Sirius's arm, assuming Sirius thought his remark was funny. But Sirius didn't laugh. Instead, he shifted uncomfortably and looked down at the sign-up sheet.

Annabelle was not swayed. "No, we most definitely are not. But your condescending attitude makes me think you find the idea of us trying out for the team ridiculous, solely because we are girls."

"Here we go," James said as he leaned back in his chair, but Sirius looked up at her, apparently listening to what she had to say.

"Annabelle, come on, it's not a big deal," Lily said as she tried to pull her friend away. "I will see him later."

Annabelle pressed on though. "If you want to recruit players, you really should change your attitude. You may be laughing at someone with great potential, a champion even, cheating her out of her destiny merely because of her gender. What a shame, really. You know McGonagall played, don't you?"

"Yeah, and she got injured so badly she had to _quit_ ," James retorted.

"In her last year!" spat Annabelle.

She was shaking with indignation, feeling the urge to squeeze his smug face off, so she turned on her heels and stormed away. Lily followed, shooting a ferocious look at James. He waved goodbye, but could not mask his irritation.

"Barmy loon, now I remember why we couldn't stand her."

Sirius was still thinking, trying to process what had happened. _Cheating her out of her destiny..._ He couldn't do that to anyone.

"You know, I think she had a point, actually."

"About what?" asked James, clearly tired of the subject. "Why should I care if a girl wants to try out? I never said I was against the idea."

"Come on, you were rather cold to Lily, and Annabelle was just sticking up for her. And you did laugh at the suggestion of them trying out. You might want to apologise to them for that, unless you want to lose your lab partner. Slughorn isn't going to keep switching back and forth at your whim."

"Oh come on. You know they weren't here to sign up!"

"I know that. But your making a joke of the idea can be easily interpreted as being opposed to girls playing Quidditch. That's all I'm saying."

"But I'm not."

"Think about it. How many girls here might want to play but don't bother because we've always only had boys on the team? Maybe we should be working harder to recruit them. We don't have a lot of prospects this year."

"Fine, Sirius. We can recruit girls for the team. Fine. How do we do that?"

"Well, we can start by adding to our sign that we are looking for boys _and_ girls." Sirius pulled the sign off the table. When he was done, he climbed onto the table, cleared his throat, and shouted, "Can I have your attention, please! Your attention, please!" And because it was Sirius Black, a hush fell over the Grand Hall. He smiled, pleased with himself, and continued. "The Gryffindor Quidditch team does not discriminate based on gender. We encourage males and females to sign up for try-outs if you are so inclined. Thank you!" Then he hopped down from the table and took his seat.

There was moment of silence as the room processed what he had said, then all at once, some students applauded, some booed, others laughed or discussed his announcement. But not a single girl signed up that day.

Lily, who had been on the other side of the hall with Alice, sitting in a corner and fuming over what a tosser James had been, couldn't believe her ears. Annabelle had gone to the library so she missed the show. Did they mean it, or was it something they were laughing over whilst patting each other on the back? She knew one thing for sure, it wasn't James' idea.

Later on, Annabelle couldn't believe her ears either when Alice and Lily told her what had taken place. How she wished she had stayed in the Great Hall a little longer. She hated wondering if Sirius was messing her about again, or if he was genuinely extending an invitation to girls to be on the team. He hadn't seemed amused by James' immature attitude, but still, she couldn't be sure. She would just have to ask him at detention the next day.

Meanwhile, poor Lily was having second thoughts about getting together with James. He was so dismissive of her, so childish, and she felt like she'd been had. She didn't know what to do.

"And don't say I told you so, Annie."

"I'm not planning to."

Lily's brow knitted, her mouth turned down in a frown. "You were right, though. I should have left him alone."

"No, I mean, yes, we shouldn't have gone over there," said Annabelle, "but not because it was the wrong thing to do. You were right to want to say hello to your boyfriend. But he's still got some growing up to do, so I just had a feeling that he would get embarrassed. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I called him sweetheart in front of his mates."

"So what? If he was mature and secure about his relationship with you then he wouldn't have cared how his mates reacted. He would have been thrilled to see you instead of annoyed and embarrassed. It isn't you, Lily... he is just so juvenile still. Most boys are."

Lily wiped a tear as Alice patted her back. "She's right, Lil. Why do you think I prefer older men?" Alice had recently begun dating Frank Longbottom, who had graduated from Hogwarts the year before. "They know what they want and aren't ashamed of it."

"You're both right," said Lily. "I wish I could get him out of my head. How long must I wait for him to grow up?"

"You don't wait," said Alice. "You live your life."

But Lily couldn't face breaking up with him just yet. They'd just got together for Merlin's sake, and he told her things would be different this time. It seemed every time she was prepared to take his advances seriously, he let her down somehow. Instead of whinging to her friends about it some more, she decided she was through talking about him for the night. She was determined not to become one of those girls obsessed with her boyfriend, especially since he was the one who had pursued her. But she was nearing the end of her rope, and if he kept it up, he'd be finding himself without her again, permanently.

 


	8. Detention

Detention Day, or Saturday as most people called it, turned out to be a beautiful autumn day, not a cloud in the sky. Normally, Annabelle would be excited for the first Hogsmeade visit of the year. This year though, she would be stuck inside all afternoon, scrubbing the Potions lab floors. With Sirius Black, no less.

The story going round school was that no girls had signed up for Quidditch, despite Sirius' public appeal, which told her one thing: no one knew if he meant what he'd said or if he was taking the piss. She hoped he meant it. She wanted to be wrong about him.

At lunch, she and her friends ate in relative silence. Lily was still upset over James, who had not even looked at her that morning. Annabelle was moping over having detention. Alice was sad that her friends were sad. They were a miserable lot. Finally, as Annabelle was about to say her farewells and head to the dungeon, she noticed that some of the other sixth-year girls had suddenly lit up in flirtatious smiles. Annabelle furrowed her brow in confusion, but then felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned round to see Sirius, an impish grin on his face.

"Come on then," he said. "You're not thinking of bailing on detention now are you?"

Annabelle was surprised to see him so enthusiastic about detention.

"Was just about to leave," she said as she stood up from the table.

"Hello, Lily. How are you?" he asked quietly.

Lily faked a smile. "Hello Sirius. I'm fine."

He was dressed in joggers and a t-shirt, ready to do some dirty work. Annabelle was wearing old jeans and a sweatshirt. Their worn clothing clashed with the trendy outfits of the students going to Hogsmeade. She grabbed her wand and waved to her friends.

"Have fun!" called Alice.

Annabelle shot her a look of reproach.

"Yeah, have fun!" Johnny B. hollered from further down the table, so loud that people turned to look. He was grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

Annabelle had to stifle a laugh; Johnny B. cracked her up. They headed into the cloisters which connected to the stairs leading down to the Potions Lab. The sunlight streaked through the arches, beckoning her to run outside and be free, but the Potions floors would not scrub themselves. Sirius had a skip in his step that baffled Annabelle, and she asked, "What are you so cheerful about?"

"Nothing really, except it's a beautiful day for a detention."

She started to wonder if he was a bit touched in the head. "If you say so."

When they arrived, Professor Slughorn and a very stern looking Professor McGonagall were waiting for them.

"Great. You're on time," said Slughorn. He went over the routine and confiscated their wands.

"I'll take them, Professor," said McGonagall. "You don't have to wait for them to finish. Enjoy your Saturday. They will report to me when they are done."

"Thank you, Headmistress. I appreciate it. Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill, may this be the last time you defy my orders to stop talking in class. Have a good day all."

McGonagall wasn't finished, and after Slughorn had gone, she admonished, "Unfortunately, I've come to expect this defiance from you Mr. Black, but Miss O'Neill, this is quite out of character for you."

Sirius seemed used to this type of lecture, since he just stood there with a blank expression on his face, but Annabelle was new to it, and felt awful. McGonagall had become a sort of mother-figure to her over the years, and Annabelle hated to disappoint her.

"I'm sorry, Professor," she said, eyes cast down.

"Don't let it happen again. I shall check your progress in a half hour, but then I am off to Hogsmeade. When I get back I expect to see you both in my office where you may retrieve your wands and tell me what you learned from this experience. Is that clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," they chanted together.

"Very well, then." She stalked out of the room and they listened as her footfalls grew more distant. Sirius tiptoed over to the door and peeked out. Then he relaxed.

"She's gone," he said.

"So?"

"So, I guess we should get started is all."

Sirius thought about the replacement wand which was stuck in his sock. Remus said he could trust Annabelle. He wasn't sure at first, but he was starting to think Remus was correct. She might be self-righteous, but apparently she wasn't a tattle-tale. She had managed to keep Remus' Lycanthropy a secret all these years, so that was something.

"Is she always so lax about detention?" Annabelle asked, surprised that they were going to be unsupervised.

He let out an amused chuckle. "No. But you are different I guess. She must figure she can trust you to oversee things and mind me."

Annabelle pushed up her sleeves and pulled a scrub brush from the soapy water.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked.

"Scrubbing the floor?"

"Put it back."

"What? Why?"

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked as he came over and knelt in front of her.

Annabelle sat back on her heels, scrub brush still in hand. "Depends what it is."

"What if it involved a perfectly simple way of scrubbing these floors without actually having to lift a finger?"

Annabelle looked across the vast classroom. She knew they would be doing this exhausting job well into the evening hours.

"I could be persuaded to keep a secret of that sort," she said, still uneasy.

Sirius pushed up the leg of his sweatpants and pulled the wand from his sock. "This is going to do the work for us."

Annabelle eyed the wand, then Sirius. The mischievous look on his face made her grin.

"Where did you get that?" she asked.

"Remember, you said you could keep a secret."

She was growing impatient. "I'm not going to tell. Now explain, please."

"It's a wand James' parents sent him first year when he thought he lost his. Well... that isn't entirely true. He told them he lost his so we could have some help during detentions, and they sent him this old one of his dad's to use until they could take him to Diagon Alley for a proper one. Then, he told them he found his original after getting this one, and that was that."

"But won't it only work for his Dad?"

"It would only work _well_ for him, but it works for minor spells and charms, like the ones we used first year. I have to say, it works great for cleaning."

Annabelle was impressed. "You lot have a talent for the devious, don't you?"

Sirius chuckled. "I guess so, but we were only twelve when we devised this one. We were much more devious back then."

"What if we get caught?"

"We aren't going to get caught. Listen, McGonagall said she's coming back in a half hour. So we splash water on ourselves, and let the scouring charm do about a half hour's worth of work on the floor. She checks, sees us with the brushes in hand, is happy with our progress, and off she goes to Hogsmeade. We stay here a bit longer, Scourgify some more, and off we go as well."

"Go where?"

"Anywhere, really. Anywhere we can't get caught, that is. Most of the professors are in Hogsmeade, so there aren't many people about except for Filch, Hagrid, Madam Pomfrey, and the underclassmen. We just avoid them, that's all. And if someone sees us and questions us, we explain that we're taking a ten-minute-break from our detention."

He made it sound so easy.

"Well, I'm all for Scourgifying the place," said Annabelle. "The thought of scrubbing this entire floor is rather depressing. I just hate to trick McGonagall. She's always been so kind to me."

Sirius softened his voice again. "Don't forget, she didn't give us the detention. She's just doing Slughorn a favour. And if she was that concerned, wouldn't she have left someone else in charge of us, instead of leaving us to our own devices and heading over to Hogsmeade? She is not invested in this. It's not like we were caught stealing or something. We were talking in class. In fact, this punishment is a little harsh considering that, no?"

Annabelle hesitated as she considered his words. It was difficult to find a flaw in his plan, and he was so sure of himself.

"All right. I suppose I don't want to be the only one scrubbing floors, so I'm in. But if we get caught, it's back to dirty looks from here on out."

Sirius closed his eyes and laughed. "I'll take my chances."

After using the wand to scour a small part of the room, they relaxed and waited for McGonagall to come check on them. Annabelle figured it was as good a time as any to bring up what happened the day before at the Activities Fair.

"So," she said casually, "I heard you made a big announcement yesterday. What was that all about?"

The humour drained from his face. "Not sure what you heard, but I was being sincere. You made a good point. I never thought about girls not being on the Hogwarts' teams, but after James acted like a wanker to you and Lily, I realised that maybe we put out the wrong message. I meant every word. I welcome anyone, regardless of gender to try out for the team. We need good players, full stop. Some of my teammates weren't pleased with me afterwards, but I stood my ground. Unfortunately, it didn't work."

Again, he managed to surprise her. Just when she started to think he was only interested in mischief with his replacement wand, he turns the tables and shows himself to be thoughtful and fair-minded.

"Then I applaud your efforts," said Annabelle.

"You thought it was joke, didn't you?"

"I wasn't sure, really. Can't always tell with you lads."

"Maybe that's why it didn't work," he said, feeling defeated. "The girls probably thought we were taking the piss."

"Possibly, but you can keep talking about it, or even ask some of the girls more inclined to athletics to try-out, or at least to practise with you when you're all out there on Sunday afternoons playing for fun."

"That's an idea. But as I said, except for Johnny B., my teammates aren't too keen on the idea. Nor are the other teams. I wonder why this mentality is found only here. I mean, there aren't a ton of female players, but they're out there, and they are good. We could use them on our team this year, as we are sorely lacking. Hogwarts needs to get with the times."

Annabelle never thought much about Quidditch. It was dangerous, and rather boring to watch after a while since the games could go on forever. She knew she was in the minority, but sport just wasn't her thing. Sirius clearly cared a lot about it, though, as he seemed sincerely perplexed at how to attract good players, ones that would help them defeat their greatest rival.

"Good luck then. I hope you find the players you need. I'd hate to see Slytherin win." What a change from last year, she thought, when she was, rather selfishly she could admit, glad Slytherin won.

"Me too," he said, his eyes narrowed.

The familiar sound of McGonagall's shoes clicking along the corridor startled them to action. They quickly splashed a little water on themselves, even giving each other a playful splash, then got into scrubbing position.

McGonagall surveyed their progress and appeared pleased.

"Good. Keep going. Maybe you will be finished by dinner time. Let this be a lesson to you. If you finish before we return, you may study, visit the library, or get some fresh air." She looked directly at Sirius. "You must not get yourselves into more trouble. Understood?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," they replied in unison. She gave them a severe look, turned, and exited.

After checking that she was indeed gone, Sirius suggested, "Let's charm a big part of the floor now. No one will be checking up on us so if we aren't here when and if they finally do, it will look like we've been hard at work."

What didn't this kid think of, Annabelle mused. She supposed his many detentions over the years had taught him a thing or two about beating the professors at their own game.

"Where will you go?" Annabelle asked, supposing he would want to go off by himself. "When we're done I mean."

"We should probably stick together. What if one of us gets seen without the other? That might look suspicious, like we are making the other do all the work. If we're together, it's more believable that we were just taking a short break."

Again, he had all the answers. "Okay, where are _we_ going?"

"What would you like to do?"

"Honestly, I can't think of much. Exploring the castle could be fun, but if Filch catches us, we won't be able to explain that one."

They sat in silence for few minutes, considering their options. Sirius perked up suddenly.

"I have an idea," he said, his eyes alight.

"This doesn't sound good already," laughed Annabelle. "Go ahead, tell me."

"You could come out to the pitch with me. Help me practise," he suggested, then braced himself for her reply.

Annabelle laughed sharply. "How can I be of any help? I don't even understand the game. Bludgers, Snitches, Quaffles- I can't keep them straight."

"Then I can teach you!"

Sirius was invigorated by his idea. When his face lit up like that, Annabelle could see why the girls went crazy for him. Again, he knelt in front of her and tried to convince her this was a good idea. The wand was one thing, but playing Quidditch was too much. Embarrassed, but desperate to steer him away from the ludicrous idea, she decided that the truth might be the only thing to sway him.

"No way. I am too scared. Quidditch is scary. Not watching it, of course, but the idea of playing it. No. I just can't."

Sirius frowned slightly as he tried to figure her out. One minute she seemed fearless, and the next, afraid of her own shadow. "I won't let anything happen to you. You don't even have to play if you don't want. You can just throw some Quaffles at the goals and let me practise blocking them."

"Why do you think I know how to throw a Quaffle?"

"I saw you throw a book in the library once. A doxy had flown out from behind a bookshelf and frightened you. You winged that book at it so hard I thought you might break the stained glass windows at the other end of the room."

Annabelle remembered this occasion. "Yes, but that was because I was startled. It was adrenaline that gave me that power."

"You underestimate yourself. But it's okay. We don't have to. We can go study or something. Did you do your potions assignment yet? If not, I can help you."

He stood up to go and Annabelle got the feeling he was disappointed. In her. He obviously thought Quidditch practice was a fun way to pass the time, fun for him anyway, and there she was acting all cowardly, and probably coming off as very dull indeed. Boring seemed to be a quality he and he friends despised most in others. She wasn't sure why she cared what he thought, but she felt the need to prove she wasn't dull, or a coward.

"Potions homework can wait," she said reluctantly. "Let's go out to the pitch."

Sirius grinned. "Are you sure? I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

She shook her head. "It's fine. It's about time I learned about Quidditch. Just be gentle, all right? I'm a complete novice."

"That's a promise."

He took her hand and pulled her toward the door.

 


	9. Rules of the Game

Once they reached the pitch, they sat down with a copy of the rulebook. Sirius began to explain and Annabelle paid close attention. She already looked like a muppet in Potions, but that was because she really didn't understand. This she could get, but she had to force herself to concentrate because it was so dull to her.

"Did I lose you, yet?" he asked.

"No. I think I got it."

Sirius' shoulders slumped. "You're bored, aren't you?"

"No, I mean, it isn't my thing, but it's nice to finally understand what's going on during games."

"Games you'd rather not even be at," he muttered.

"Well, now I have two good reasons to be at the games. I understand what's going on, and my lab partner is Keeper."

"So you still want to do this?"

"Sure. I told you I would help you practise, even though you're going to be sorely disappointed. Just tell me what you want me to do."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After a bit of "practice" with Annabelle, Sirius was growing bored. She could throw, but she wasn't really making things that challenging for him. He tried taunting her like he did other Chasers, just to get her going, shouting, "Is that all you've got!" and "My house elf throws better than that!" But her response was either, "Yes, that's all I've got," or laughter at his inane commentary.

"Okay, you want a turn at Keeper? Let's switch," he suggested.

She sighed, but went along with it. Sirius couldn't help laughing at how silly she looked, barely even moving, let alone trying to block the Quaffle.

"At least we know you won't be vying for my position," he said.

Annabelle chuckled. "I guess I was chosen last for teams at my Muggle primary school for a reason."

"Come on, now, don't be so pessimistic. Want to try playing Beater?" he ventured, as long as she was going along with things. He thought again about her defensive reaction to the doxy in the library. Maybe that was it. Maybe she was best when in a defensive role.

"Em, no?" Annabelle replied. Was he crazy? Wait, yes, yes he was it turned out.

"We can try it low to the ground, just one Bludger, instead of two. You just have to smack it away so it doesn't hit me, yeah?"

Annabelle could see how much he loved the sport; he was so eager to play he would accept someone as hopeless as her as a playmate. Bless his heart, he was trying so hard to make it interesting for her.

"Fine, but as soon as that thing comes at me, you are on your own."

Sirius laughed in his easy way. "No problem."

After a few false starts, where Sirius had to dodge the Bludger because Annabelle wasn't quite sure what to do, she gave it her best shot. She succeeded in sending the Bludger flying away from Sirius, but she fell off her broom in the process. Sirius had been wise to have them play low to the ground. She landed on her back with a thud, and lay still for a moment, waiting for the pain to rush in. Sirius was beside her in a flash.

"Are you okay? You were right. This was a bad idea."

Annabelle moved slowly, and managed to sit up. "Actually, I feel fine. Nothing hurts, but I'd like to never do that again, if you don't mind."

"You hit that thing pretty hard. Impressive. But maybe not the best position for you."

His concern for her well being was unexpected and she was beginning to wonder who he was. The Sirius she thought she knew would have laughed at her and kicked dirt in her face. Could she have been that off the mark with him?

"What's left? Seeker, right?" she asked.

"No, I'm not going to torture you anymore." He extended a hand to help her up. "Let's head back to the castle."

She hated that falling off her broom suddenly rendered her useless. She shouldn't have made such a big deal about not getting hurt. Now she was determined to make him finish his experiment with her.

"I said I'm fine. Come on, let's see how bad I am at the last position. Only don't release any Bludgers. Definitely not ready for that yet."

"Not sure about this anymore, Annabelle."

"Isn't Seeker essentially just catching a Snitch? If you're the other Seeker, just don't knock me off my broom and we should be good."

"Essentially, sure. But there's a bit more to it than that. All right. If you insist. When you want to quit, just tell me. I will understand."

After releasing the practice Snitch, they flew up into the air, and Sirius said, "Okay, first one to catch it wins, as you know. Just don't make it too obvious if you see it."

She nodded and they were off. Being a novice though, she didn't hide it very well when she saw it. Her fingertips were an inch from touching it when Sirius' hand grabbed it.

"So much for being a Seeker," she said.

"Wait just a minute, you almost had it. In fact, you would have if you hadn't made it so obvious that you saw it."

"How do I make it less obvious?"

"Don't stay in one place, first of all. If you are holding still then I suddenly see you moving, I am going to think you saw it. Or to complicate things, you could use that as a trick, but in that case you wouldn't have actually seen it, you would just want me to think you had."

Annabelle turned his advice over in her mind. It sounded like something she could do, if she could only care about this sodding game.

Sirius added, "Being Seeker is just as much about psyching out the other Seeker as it is about catching the Snitch. Shall we try again?"

"Let's do it."

She watched him as he flew about, here and there, even starting to fly fast toward something. She figured he was tricking her just to show her how it was done, so she didn't bother following him. It turned out she was right, because then she saw it - it flew right above her - and she tried to remain calm, flying around in an attempt to cut it off in its path. It worked. As it flew toward her, she bolted toward it, and sensing her approach it made a sharp turn. She reached out and just missed it. At this point Sirius was alerted to it, and made a beeline for it, but Annabelle was closer and she grabbed it before he did.

"Blimey! You did it!" he exclaimed. "You caught the bloody Snitch! And fast too!"

"Beginner's luck," she said. "Don't get too excited. Plus there were no Bludgers or twelve other players flying about."

"Shall we have another go at it?"

Annabelle would have loved to call it quits for the day, but she couldn't bear to spoil his fun. Whoever would have guessed that she would be on the Quidditch pitch with Sirius Black, when a couple weeks ago she couldn't stand the sight of him.

Once again, Annabelle caught the Snitch, and again, and again. Sirius was beside himself in disbelief. Annabelle honestly believed it was luck.

"No way is it luck," he said excitedly. "James isn't going to _believe_ this."

"Wait, you aren't going to tell James, are you? This was just for fun."

"I know, but I want him to know girls can play Quidditch, too."

"But catching a Snitch doesn't mean I can play. There was no game going on, just the two of us chasing it. Not exactly the same as playing in a match against another team."

"Yes, Annabelle, but I can see that you probably have talent. I am not saying you should try out for the team, although it'd be nice since we need a Seeker. But I know you're not interested. Come on, you can't expect me to keep it a secret that you, a total beginner, caught the Snitch that many times."

"Oh, fine. Tell him what you want. But as of today, my Quidditch career is coming to a close. I thank you for teaching me about the game. At least now I won't be so clueless when watching a match."

Sirius still couldn't believe how easy catching the Snitch was for her. She had a point, it hadn't happened during a real match, but still. He couldn't help thinking that if it had been a match, how with some more training, she might actually pull it off. And they so badly needed a decent Seeker because Slytherin could not beat them again. They just couldn't. He wished that she had fallen in love with Quidditch as he had, but she hadn't, and after falling off her broom, and her total reluctance, he decided not to push it. Instead, they headed back to the castle, to "clean" some more of the Potions Lab floor.

But even as they trudged back to the gloomy dungeon, the spark of excitement from seeing her dominate the Snitch just wouldn't die, nor would his amazement that he'd actually had fun with Annabelle O'Neill.

 


	10. A Class Act

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I always thought the Hogwarts students needed an English class. It struck me as odd that they didn't, so for this fic, Literature is a class. :)  
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius and Annabelle made it back to the Potions Lab unseen, and cast the scouring charm on another portion of the floor. Then they sat down, bored again, trying to think of something to do that wouldn't get them into trouble.

"School work?" suggested Annabelle.

Sirius grimaced, but agreed. "Might as well. Let's get our books and bring them back here in case anyone checks in."

After retrieving their books from Gryffindor Tower, Sirius helped Annabelle with the Potions homework, and then, because Sirius revealed he couldn't get into the literature book they were reading, Annabelle suggested they take turns reading it out loud. That way, they could stay interested, and get through it. Annabelle actually liked _Sons and Lovers_ , by D.H. Lawrence, but she could see how it might be difficult for him, since it required thinking about something other than Quidditch.

Sirius, for the first time actually, was enjoying reading an assigned novel. Annabelle had a way of reading it that pulled him into the story. He wanted her to continue, but it was his turn. They went back and forth until he was all caught up.

"You know," Annabelle said, "at the time this book was written, it was considered really sexy in a dirty kind of way. Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is hard to believe. Crazy how times change." He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. "I hope you don't mind if we do this again. I think it's the only way I can get through it. You don't know how many times I tried to get into it on my own and fell asleep, or my mind kept wandering. Reading it like this makes it bearable."

Annabelle thought it strange that he would voluntarily want to spend time with her. He was smart and driven enough that he could get through the book alone, but it did make it more fun to read together. And funny enough, she didn't mind anymore. He was growing on her.

They charmed the rest of the floor just before the students returned from Hogsmeade. Soon, Hagrid came to check on them.

"Finished already are we? Yer quick! You look well tuckered out. Better get to dinner. I'll tell McGonagall yer done and will be up to see her later for yer wands."

Annabelle felt so guilty she could barely meet his eyes. "Thanks, Hagrid."

Sirius nudged her arm and when Hagrid was gone, he said, "Come on, now. Did you hurt someone today?"

"No," Annabelle replied, still frowning.

"Did you steal something from someone?"

"No."

"Did you destroy property?"

"No."

"Did you get to go to Hogsmeade?"

"No."

"Did the Potions Lab floor get cleaned?"

"Yes, but-"

"But, nothing. The task is done, no one is any worse off for what we did today, and we still learned our lesson about talking in class. Isn't that what's important?"

"I guess you're right," she said, then looked up and grinned. "And I got a free Quidditch lesson out of it."

Sirius laughed and once again, Annabelle was struck by his smile. To avoid staring and giving the wrong impression, she packed up her books. The two walked out into the empty corridor that led to the Great Hall. Orange and gold light was streaming though the archways, and their was a chill in the air. Annabelle inhaled the scent of autumn, glad her first detention wasn't as awful as she had anticipated.

"I hope Lily and James patched things up," she said.

"Me too. He's my best mate, but he can be a total knob head sometimes. I'm sorry for how he behaved with the two of you yesterday."

The way he said it made Annabelle think acting was another talent he possessed, because he sounded completely genuine.

"Thanks, but I don't care how he treats me. Lily was the hurt one."

He stopped walking, so Annabelle stopped as well, taking a step back to where he stood. "Listen," he said. "I just want to say, I'm sorry for how I've behaved as well. Obviously you are nothing like I thought you were, and even if you had been, it's still no excuse."

Annabelle's cheeks warmed. "It's okay, you've apologised already."

"No. I know I apologised for the dirty looks, but, maybe you don't even remember… last year when when you came out of Transfiguration and we were there waiting for detention… I just want you to know I wasn't trying to hurt you. James and Peter were, mainly because Peter put it in James' head that you were discouraging Lily from going out with him, but I was ashamed of how that whole thing played out. And I let them know."

Annabelle was stunned he would bring it up, and even more stunned he was sorry about it. Was he setting her up for a joke? That _he_ even remembered it surprised her. She was suddenly flustered.

After a moment of awkwardness, she said, "Thanks... I mean... thank you for that. I do remember it, actually, and it means a lot to me that you cleared it up."

Sirius shook his head. "Believe me, Annabelle, I don't want you to think I'm this vicious toe-rag with no regard for people's feelings. In fact, I've never liked this strange animosity between us. It has always felt wrong. I hope you can believe me."

She wanted to believe him, and the usually proud Sirius Black was looking mighty forlorn at the moment. He had given her no reason since calling a truce in Potions to think he was just playing mind games with her. In fact, he didn't seem to be doing much in the way of picking on others at all anymore. Maybe Lily was right, and he had grown up some. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, since he was being kind enough to apologise for their run-in last year, and she was getting tired of analysing every interaction with him.

"I believe you. And I agree, the animosity was exaggerated and misguided. You're not like I thought you were, either."

Sirius grinned and asked, "Shall I take that as a compliment?"

Annabelle smiled shyly. "Yes, you should. But as for what Peter said, James has never needed my help in falling out of favour with Lily. He does that all on his own."

"I don't doubt that for a moment. You have to understand, Peter worships the ground James walks on. He tells him what he thinks he wants to hear, instead of the truth. Also," he continued, as they started walking toward the Great Hall, "you fall into the highly populated category of girls who find Peter repellent, with good reason I might add. Yet you don't pretend to like him just to keep him from bothering you. Peter doesn't like that; that you don't cower for him."

"Well that's too bad," said Annabelle. "He treats people like dirt and I am not going to give him the satisfaction of cowering for a _rat_ like him, or anyone for that matter."

Sirius's eyes widened at the rat comment, because that was Peter's secret Animagus. For a moment he wondered if she knew, but then he almost burst out laughing at the coincidence of it, because his Animagus was so fitting to the image he portrayed.

"What is so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that you're not the first to call him a rat."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't say such things about your friend. It isn't polite, and-"

"Stop right there. You don't have to apologise to me for Peter's sake. He's earned his dreadful reputation among the more sophisticated girls, and I tend to agree with you. I mean, he's my mate and all, and we have a lot of fun together, but he really can be a total git. And if he doesn't care to remedy his approach, then he has to deal with the consequences."

Annabelle couldn't believe that Sirius Black had just put her in the category of "more sophisticated girls." Either he was a total charmer, or he was lacking a censor. Either way, she liked it.

"Wow. All right, I will continue to revile him then."

"I don't think he's left you with any other option."

They entered the Great Hall where all the students who had been to Hogsmeade were waiting for dinner to start. Many faces turned toward them. It seemed like the whole school knew they had detention together, and they did look a mess (from playing Quidditch, not scouring floors) but still, Annabelle couldn't get used to the attention that knowing Sirius Black, and barely knowing him at that, brought with it.

Johnny B. came rushing over and grabbed them both by the wrists, dragging them to the table. There seemed to be a new seating arrangement, as James, Remus, a few other Quidditch players, and a reluctant Peter were sitting with the girls for the first time ever. Annabelle knew this usually happened at some point, but she didn't expect it to happen that day. Sirius looked just as surprised, but in a good way.

"We figured it was time for a change," Johnny B. said with a sly wink, as he sat down at the other side of the table between Alice and Peter. "All this boy-girl segregation was maddening!"

"It's about time," Sirius said as he and Annabelle joined them.

 


	11. Seeker Wanted

"So, how was Hogsmeade?" Annabelle asked casually, trying to get used to the new seating arrangement.

"It was Hogsmeade," replied Alice. "Mostly the same old stuff."

"Not exactly," said Johnny B. as James and Peter grinned knowingly. "There's a new place to check out, after hours, if you know what I mean."

Sirius looked at Annabelle to gauge her reaction. He felt like all he appeared to do was break rules around her. He wasn't sure why he cared, but he didn't want her to think that was all he ever did.

"Tell us about it later," Sirius muttered to him.

Annabelle turned to Lily. "So, you and James are good then?" she asked quietly, stealing a glance at Alice, who nodded.

Lily smiled weakly. "Yes, he apologised, and I agreed to give him another chance, but it still stings for some reason. Do you think I am being daft about all of this?"

"No. I think if he was sincere, then I believe in giving people chances. Did he mean it?"

"I believe so," whispered Lily. "I'm just really on my guard my now, you know?"

"That's understandable. Time will tell if he's worth the effort. But you aren't daft. Really, you aren't."

Sirius sat up straight to make sure everyone could see and hear him, and cleared his throat. "Oi, James, guess who caught a Snitch today?" He motioned his head toward Annabelle.

Johnny B.'s eyes went round. "What? Annabelle? You were playing Quidditch? That is awesome! We're still looking for players, you know."

Embarrassed, Annabelle whispered to Sirius, "Really, you had to tell everyone?"

"I was telling James. It's not my fault they're all listening. Nosy plonkers."

Annabelle couldn't keep from smiling. "No, Johnny B., I wasn't really playing Quidditch. We had some extra time on our hands, so Sirius decided it was a good time to educate me about the game. That's all. He thought I might help him practise but quickly learned how useless I am at the sport."

"Except for catching the Snitch," Sirius added proudly. "She caught it four out of five times. I only caught it once."

"Hold on," said James, "You were both trying to catch it? And she beat you four out of five times?"

"Yep. She did."

"It wasn't a big deal," Annabelle said, even more embarrassed. "There was no one else playing, there were no Bludgers, nothing. Just the two of us trying to catch a Snitch."

Remus said, "But it is a big deal. It's hard to catch the Snitch, especially when competing with a strong player for it."

Sirius looked at Annabelle and said, "See? I told you."

"Sirius, really-"

"I know, I know, you don't want to play. I get it."

"Come on," James said, "it doesn't matter that she caught it. Unless it happens during the pressure of a full on match, it doesn't count for anything." He was not going to give her an ounce of credit.

"Yes, it does count," Sirius argued. "How many of the lads at try-outs caught the Snitch? Huh? One? And how bloody long did it take? Ages, that's how long, and he's our only hope. It took her fifteen minutes, twenty at the most. Now I am not saying she should try out for the team, because she doesn't want to, but-"

"But what then?" demanded James. "She doesn't want to try out then why does it matter that she caught the Snitch?"

"As I was _saying_ , it just goes to show that girls do have Quidditch skills. And I bet with training and practice she would be a brilliant Seeker. Not that I am advocating she do that, because she doesn't enjoy it. But if she did, she would be brilliant."

James was about to argue again but Lily touched his arm and whispered, "Please, just acknowledge what she did and let it go."

Their arguing was making Annabelle anxious. "Thank you Sirius, for the vote of confidence. But really, my Quidditch days are over. End of story."

Johnny B., Remus, Alice, and Peter kept exchanging smirks over how the conversation was going.

"And I agree," James said to Sirius. "She may have some talent. But if she is unwilling to pursue it, let's move on."

Annabelle knew Sirius was going to have a hard time letting this one go. "Please, let's drop it. He sees your point… I think."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "I wasn't saying you should try out, just that it's possible that there are girls at Hogwarts who might be able to play. But I'll let it go, for now."

Annabelle knew he was just trying to make a point to James, who for whatever reason kept missing it. It was frustrating dealing with such belligerence and narrow-mindedness. Annabelle almost wanted to march out to the pitch right then to vindicate her new, dare she say, friend? And of course herself and her entire gender. Almost wanted to, but not quite.

"Glad the two of you are getting along," Johnny B. said with a sly grin, just before Alice gave him a kick under the table. "Ouch, Alice, what was that for?" he whined, but the grin returned.

Annabelle felt her cheeks burn, and she glanced at Sirius. Their eyes met for longer than she had anticipated, and they both smiled and looked away. Merlin, he was handsome.

After dinner, the boys headed off to the pitch to practise some more. James asked Annabelle if she wanted to join them, obviously thinking he was hilarious, but Sirius didn't laugh. Instead, he said, "Come on, James, don't start again."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After dinner, Annabelle, Lily, and Alice went to their dorm room to do some work and chat. Annabelle hoped that Lily and James were back in each other's good graces permanently this time. Their relationship was like a roller coaster and the plummeting dips were no fun for anyone.

"So, what did you lot do in Hogsmeade?" Annabelle asked, eager to hear what she missed.

"I can't speak for Lily," Alice said, "but I wandered about with Dominica and Septima most of the time. Frank couldn't make it today. Dominica was a grump then took off with Edmund Kittle. It was actually rather dull."

"What's going on with Dominica lately?" asked Lily.

"I've noticed it as well," said Alice. "She was really nasty the other day about the Sirius and Annabelle lab partner thing. Think she fancies him?"

"That wouldn't be a shock," replied Lily. "But I didn't have much fun either. Heart-to-hearts with James Potter are like pulling teeth."

"Still gets uncomfortable over talk of feelings?" asked Annabelle.

"It appears so. Not as bad as before, though, and I did get him to admit that there was nothing wrong with his girlfriend calling him 'sweetheart.' Then he gave me the same old speech about not wanting to lose me. It just seems like he's afraid to grow up."

"Aren't they all?" asked Alice.

Lily shrugged sadly. "Probably. I don't know."

"Well, you didn't miss much Annabelle," said Alice. "That's for sure. Would much rather have been watching you and Sirius Black play Quidditch."

Annabelle grinned and rolled her eyes. "You would've been bored there, as well."

"Not from the way Sirius makes it sound," Lily chimed in. "You two were awfully cute together at dinner tonight. What _did_ you do all day, Annie?"

"Don't start," she warned, but smiled just the same at her friends' predictability. "We cleaned the floors and when we had time, he wanted me to practise with him, but my lack of skills meant I was a bad practice partner. He is so bloody obsessed with Quidditch that he still wanted to play with me, despite the fact that I was crap at it. So I caught the Snitch. I mean, it was beginner's luck. Had to be."

"I don't know," said Lily sceptically. "He sounded pretty sure about you. Maybe you should try out for the team."

" _No way_. Do you know how fast those Bludgers move? In a real game they'd be coming right at me. Again, no way. _Anyway_ , then we did homework. The end."

"You mean you didn't elope?" asked Lily, a huge grin on her face.

"Haha, you're hilarious. Why is it that the second we don't loathe each other, people think we are in love? Are you all in love with everyone you don't despise? Can there be no middle ground?"

"Yes there can be," Lily said. "But at the risk of sounding like every girl at Hogwarts, he's gorgeous, Annabelle. And you two looked so cute together at dinner tonight!"

"Lil, this is the same boy we thought was a pompous git a few weeks ago."

"But I can tell he's given you reason not to think that anymore."

"Really, we barely know each other! The majority of our conversation today consisted of Quidditch and homework. Not exactly the stuff of epic love stories. I'm not sure we qualify as friends even, so let's avoid the love thing, yeah?"

"But what if he fancies you?" Lily asked. "What if he asks you out?"

Annabelle was becoming visibly upset. "Please stop. He's Sirius Black. Just because he no longer shuns my mere existence doesn't mean a thing. He's going to end up with some gorgeous pureblood princess. Let's keep things in perspective."

"He only dated one pureblood princess, and he dumped her," said Alice flatly.

"Well, that doesn't mean he won't date her again in the future," replied Annabelle. "Anyway, now he dates Quidditch. Just don't hold your breath, ladies. Like I said, I barely know him, and I am not going down that road. It will be a miracle if we get through this year without another dirty look."

"You are gorgeous too, Annie-belle," said Lily. "You are just too modest to admit it."

"Please, for the love of Gryffindor, stop it. It's not going to happen."

"We'll see."

Annabelle sighed, putting a pillow over her face and falling back on the bed in resignation. Her friends could hope all they wanted, but there was nothing going on between her and Sirius, nor would there be.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Out on the pitch, the sky was threatening as storm clouds rolled in. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sat in the stands for a few minutes waiting to see if they would pass. Sirius and James had played in the rain many times, but preferred not to if they could help it.

"So, how have try-outs been going?" asked Peter, who was not on the team, essentially because he was a crappy Quidditch player.

"Dismal," droned James. "Utterly dismal. We still have the same two spots to fill."

"You could always try to convince Annabelle," said Remus, who wasn't on the team because of his condition. Full moons made it hard to play, which was unfortunate because Remus could hold his own on the pitch.

James let out a huff, clearly irritated by the suggestion. "She said no way. You heard her."

"I wish we could convince her," said Sirius, "but she is so inexperienced, and it made her really nervous. We could obviously train her, but it's not fun for her."

"Maybe we could make it fun for her," said Remus. "We could tell her you needed her for practice again, or a friendly game or whatever. And then we make it fun."

"It's a good idea, but it's getting her on the pitch that's the problem. And with James' attitude…" Sirius trailed off.

"Look," James said, "I already said I don't have problems with girls playing. Am I ever going to be let off the hook?"

"Yes, mate, you're off the hook," replied Sirius. "But I don't think you are off the hook with her, and no matter how you feel about it, that is the problem."

"Maybe James doesn't play then," suggested Remus. "If the goal is to make her comfortable, and to make the game fun for her, then James shouldn't play. But maybe we could convince Alice and Lily or some of the other girls to play. And Johnny B. You know, people she's comfortable with."

"Um, you can count me out too," said Peter. "I actually don't think girls should play. So there."

The boys couldn't help but laugh at Peter's bluntness.

"Great attitude, mate," said Sirius. "No wonder you're single."

"You're single, too," retorted Peter.

James laughed out loud. "Yeah, but he's single by choice. There's a difference."

"Right, because no one is good enough for him, right Padfoot?" Peter said bitterly.

"Fuck off, mate," groaned Sirius, trying very hard to hold his tongue from making a biting remark back. He knew Peter had some jealousy issues to work out.

"All right, all right, let's not do this," said James. "The point is, the team needs a Seeker, and right now, according to Sirius anyway, Annabelle is the only one qualified. But she finds the game boring and scary, which makes no sense when I think about it, but anyway, we make it fun, then maybe we can convince her to take the job. And we need to do this soon. Maybe tomorrow?"

"I'll talk to Alice tonight," said Remus. "See if she'd be up for a friendly match."

"I'll work on Lily," said James. "I'll tell her I'm not playing because I have a Captains' meeting or something. Sirius, you might want to wait to bring it up to Annabelle again until we know the girls are on board. Johnny B. won't be a problem, so that's that. Let's hope it works, or else we'll have a joke of a Seeker for the first match."

A rumble of thunder turned their attention to the sky just as it opened up in a torrential downpour, and they made a run for it back to the castle.

 


	12. An Unexpected Target

Later that evening, as everyone was getting ready for bed, Annabelle decided to sneak out to the hidden tower she'd discovered her first year. It was located near the Grand Staircase, one level up, and concealed in an alcove behind a large pillar. The entrance was merely a crack in the wall just big enough for one person of medium build to squeeze through. There was a statue near it, as well as another pillar, so it went unnoticed. She couldn't believe no one else had discovered it, but after taking enough charms classes, by her third year she knew how to make the entrance appear non-existent to others.

She rarely went there anymore, except during holidays when her friends had gone home. But at the moment, she wasn't tired, and decided to pay a visit to her hiding spot, mainly to look for an old book she thought she'd left there, but also to make sure no one else had claimed the space in her absence.

After brushing her teeth with the girls, she mentioned that she thought she forgot something in the Great Hall, and disappeared before one of them could tag along. Her Grandfather's invisibility cloak was stuffed in a sweater and tucked under her arm. Once she was in the stairwell, she checked to make sure no one was lurking, and wrapped herself in her the most useful item she had inherited from him. It was in excellent condition, since he had rarely used it, preferring instead to use a disillusionment charm on himself when he needed to go unseen. It was an advanced spell that Annabelle thought she could pull off, but didn't want to take any chances with yet, lest it go wrong. The cloak had allowed her hide in the beginning, to escape to her secret tower, which became her haven in the first couple years when the grief of his loss was so fresh and would rush over her so unexpectedly at times that she had to give in to the swirling pain inside of her. The tower was her place to cry, and remember.

The corridor heading toward the Grand Staircase was dark except for the light of a few torches. As she neared her destination, a commotion could be heard on the ground floor, but she reckoned it was only the house-elves cleaning up. As she drew closer though, she could tell it wasn't house-elves making the noise. From her vantage point behind the banister, she could see the tops of three heads, one being that of Malachi Malfoy, who according to rumours, was engaged to one of Sirius's cousins. Another head was that of a seventh-year Slytherin whose name she couldn't remember.

She inched her way closer to the landing, careful not to make a sound. One flick of a well-aimed wand from their end and she could be in trouble. Then she saw Severus Snape, standing back from the others, but obviously a part of their little gang. They had their wands aimed at someone she couldn't quite see yet. She sidestepped a little closer to the top of the stairs and had to clap her hands over her mouth to avoid gasping. It was Sirius, and his wand was on the floor in front of him.

Annabelle panicked. She didn't know what to do; should she run for help? No, it was too late, because she could see that he already had blood dripping from a wound inflicted on his lower lip. They were going to hurt him again, or worse. She had to cast a spell that would render them unable to strike back, and something that would keep them from chasing either one of them.

Malachi paced about in front of Sirius while the other two stood guard. "What I don't understand is how you can, in good conscience, continue mingling with mudbloods, polluting your family's noble reputation, and drifting so far off the path that was laid out for you. You know, my father tells me your mum cries every night, and she begged me to help you see the error of your ways." He was dangerously close to Sirius' face. "How can you be so _selfish_?" he spat angrily.

Sirius didn't flinch. He remained aloof, not giving the slightest clue as to what was going on in his head.

"Answer me!" Malachi commanded.

" _Fuck. Off_." replied Sirius.

"Severus, what do you think of his response?"

"Unacceptable," said Severus, enunciating every syllable. Severus appeared to shaking, and Annabelle couldn't tell if it was from fear or anger. Probably both. His mates were insane.

"Mulciber," drawled Malachi. "Punish him."

Wandless spells were extremely difficult, but they had been working on them in Defence Against the Dark Arts. She couldn't remember if there would still be a light without the wand, but she decided to chance it. She got down low to the ground and gave the Stunning Spell all she had inside her, whispering _"stupefy"_ sharply whilst using only her hand. The first one hit was Mulciber, then in rapid succession she stunned the other two, fuelled only by adrenalin. Sirius immediately grabbed his wand, but Annabelle didn't wait to see what happened next. Instead, she ran as fast her legs could take her, back to Gryffindor Tower, her cloak almost slipping off several times in the process.

Meanwhile, Sirius wasn't going to hang about either, figuring it must have been James that came to his rescue under the security of his invisibility cloak. Sirius was a skilled duellist, but he knew Malachi was out for blood and didn't care if he got expelled for mauling another student, so he didn't waste time. But before he left, he vanished their wands and cast the Furnunculus curse on them – a temporary spell which caused them to be covered in boils. He laughed at the sight of them, then legged it, taking the long way round to the Tower to avoid running into anyone, or to avoid them following him if the spells wore off.

Annabelle was trembling when she got back to the Tower. No one was in the Common Room, and the relief that she was back, in one piece, made her eyes warm with tears. But she couldn't relax until Sirius returned as well. She shoved the invisibility cloak under a sofa cushion, sat down with a book that she could pretend to read, and waited. A terrible guilt washed over her for how she'd written Sirius off as a bully for years. He had said in class that she didn't know the whole story, and it turned out she hadn't. Apparently he had his own bullies to deal with, including his own family.

It was a long ten minutes. Long enough for her to envision the Slytherins catching up to him, or more of their crew intercepting him. If only she had waited to see if he escaped. Just when she'd resolved to ask her friends to help her find him, the portrait hole creaked open, and there he was, quietly stepping through it. He jumped when he saw her.

"Oh, Annabelle, what are you doing up?"

"Em… nothing… just didn't feel sleepy, so I decided to read. Was about to go to bed, after I finish this chapter of course. Your lip – it's bleeding."

Sirius wiped his lip self-consciously. "Happened at Quidditch practice. Right. Well, I'm knackered. Good night. See you at breakfast." With that, he bounded up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Annabelle closed the book and exhaled, burying her head in her hands. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to keep it a secret that she had been the one to Stupefy his attackers, but something told her not to bring it up, to anyone. Sirius had never mentioned problems with those particular boys before. She knew he didn't get on with them, but he wasn't keen on any Slytherins. No, this was personal to him, or maybe he would inform his mates, who would help him seek revenge. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she had a strong feeling Sirius didn't want her to know about it.

Sleep didn't come easy that night, as thoughts of what might have happened had she not stumbled upon him in time raced through her mind. No matter how much she tried to block it out, she couldn't. She wasn't used to feeling anything other than disdain for Sirius Black, so it was quite a shock to her system to discover she was beginning to care about him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.  
>  Review PLEASE?


	13. To Catch a Snitch

At breakfast the next morning, Sirius' lip was fine, most likely due to a simple healing spell. Annabelle couldn't tell if the boys were preoccupied or if she was just imagining it because she knew what had happened.

"I wanted to ask," she said to him. "You never mentioned why you were out by yourself last night."

"Right. Um, I thought I left a paper I needed for Quidditch try-outs in the Great Hall. Turns out it was under my bed."

"Oh."

"What is it with you two leaving things everywhere?" asked Alice. "I'm surprised you didn't run into each other."

Annabelle tried not to cringe. "I was reading in the Common Room when he came in."

"You didn't tell me you had been there as well," he said.

"I was there earlier. Wasn't even thinking about it." She sensed he was scrutinising her, and she was desperate to change the subject. "So, what's everyone up to today?" she asked. "Let me guess, you lads are off to play Quidditch. What shall we do today, ladies?"

There was an awkwardness in the air. No one answered her right away.

"Did I miss something?" she asked impatiently.

"We thought we might play Quidditch, as well," ventured Lily. "The boys said they'd teach us."

"Pete and I won't be joining you," James chimed in. "Both have meetings to get to."

Annabelle squinted in confusion. Lily and Alice had never expressed an interest in playing Quidditch, and now that Annabelle had tried it and decided she didn't like it, they wanted to play?

"You'll come with us?" asked Alice.

"Didn't I just get through telling you how I don't want to play Quidditch? Why can't I get Quidditch out of my life?"

"You don't have to play," said Sirius. "I told them you wouldn't want to."

Remus added, "They just wanted to see what it's like. You know, in a safe environment, with people they trust."

Lily and Alice nodded eagerly.

"Who else is going to be there?" asked Annabelle.

"Just us," said Remus. "Minus James and Peter."

"We could do three on three if you play," said Sirius. "One Keeper, one Chaser, and one Seeker per team. No need for Beaters because we won't be bothering with Bludgers today."

"That'll be one sorry match," muttered Annabelle. "Wait, I thought I heard Hufflepuff was going to be practising today. I reckon we can't play, then."

"We already sorted out practice times with the other teams at the last Captains' meeting," said James. "It's our time on the pitch. We don't have to use it, but it's ours if we want it."

"Why isn't the rest of the team going to be there during your practice time?" she asked, looking for any reason why this shouldn't happen.

"Because it was a last minute thing, and James can't be there," explained Sirius. "Besides, we've been practising like crazy, so James told the lads to rest."

"Come on, Annie," urged Lily. "It's going to be hilarious!"

"Fine. I'll play one last time. Then that's _it_."

The teams were decided by pulling papers from Sirius' hands. Lily, Annabelle, and Johnny B. were on one team, and Sirius, Remus, and Alice on the other. Alice was nervous to be separated from her friends but Remus quietly reminded her the reason for the match, to get Annabelle out on the pitch.

They decided their positions - Annabelle would be Seeker; Lily, Chaser; and Johnny B., Keeper. Remus would be Seeker for his team; Alice, Chaser; and Sirius, Keeper.

Once they were in the air it became clear that without Bludgers and Beaters, there couldn't be a proper match, and Annabelle rapidly lost interest. The match consisted mostly of Alice and Lily flying about, giggling, and trying to get the Quaffle from each other. Annabelle couldn't help but laugh when she saw Lily trying to score against Sirius. She continually fell short of the hoops, and Sirius barely had to move, let alone block her shots. He looked slightly annoyed, but was trying so hard to be nice about it. Finally she threw one with some power behind it, but Sirius smacked it away in a flash.

After about a half hour, Remus caught the Snitch. Annabelle hadn't even been looking for it, but since it was caught, she figured the monotony could end. She was mistaken.

"At least _try_ , Annabelle!" Sirius called to her.

"Fine!" she called back in frustration. She would've been glad to quit, but she didn't want to be a brat about it either. And she could tell Sirius needed to take his mind off what had happened the night before. All morning, he had seemed detached and melancholy, even on the pitch. Why he wanted to her to play this game, she didn't know, but maybe if she caught the bloody Snitch, he might cheer up a bit.

Within twenty minutes, she had it, although Remus made her earn it. The next match, she caught it in fifteen. But the final match proved to be the most difficult. She couldn't find it anywhere. She and Remus kept circling the pitch trying to trick each other, but the Snitch was nowhere to be seen. Lily and Alice grew bored and had taken seats in the stands, but Johnny B. and Sirius stayed in the air, too interested to see how it would end.

"Maybe we could go back now?" called Alice. "This could take all day."

"Five more minutes!" Sirius called back to her.

Soon, Annabelle saw it. So did Remus. And they were off, chasing, weaving, lunging, and to her surprise, laughing. Then it was gone again, but as soon as they thought it had eluded them, it was back. Annabelle had seen it a split second before Remus, and reached for it. She had caught it yet again.

Sirius and Johnny B. hooted and cheered as they flew over to the exhausted pair.

Remus was a good sport about it. "Good job, Annabelle. I guess Sirius wasn't exaggerating when he said you could play Seeker."

"Well, it helps when you are just playing with friends. But thank you. You're rather good at it yourself."

As they were waiting for the girls to come down from the stands, Sirius kept glancing at Annabelle like he wanted to say something.

"What?" she asked him. "Out with it already."

"It's just that we don't have a Seeker yet and our first match is Saturday. You're the only one with any talent for the position, at least that we know about at this point, and you are refusing to play. It's maddening."

"I agree," said James, who appeared from under an invisibility cloak.

Annabelle shrieked and Sirius chuckled, having known he was there all along.

"So you weren't at a meeting?" asked Annabelle.

"Nope. Been here the whole time. But Sirius said you wouldn't play if I was out there."

Annabelle sighed. Sirius was right.

"So this was a set-up?"

"Not exactly," said James. "We all thought if you actually enjoyed yourself out there, you might change your mind about trying out for the team. Trying out would just be a formality though. Obviously you can be on the team. And before you say it again, we both know you don't want to. The fact is, we need you."

"No," said Annabelle, shaking her head. "No bleeding way."

Lily and Alice were waiting for them at the edge of the pitch, so she stalked off to join them. The boys ran to catch up with her.

Sirius fell in step beside her, and said, "Listen Annabelle, just this once then. Just this first match. Maybe we can find someone else before the next one."

Annabelle didn't answer. The pressure was too much.

"Would you stop please?" pleaded James. "Just listen." She stopped, but didn't look at him as he spoke. "Slytherin will beat us if we have to use Arnold Watson. It won't even be a fair match. Do you want Slytherin to beat Gryffindor the first match of the season?"

"She doesn't care about that stuff," said Sirius hopelessly.

But she did. After she'd witnessed those Slytherin beasts attacking Sirius, she did care, and Slytherin winning would be salt in his wounds. Her guilt over how she had judged him, when he had shown he was nothing like what she thought he was, began to nag at her. He was actually just a mischievous, Quidditch-obsessed boy who stuck to the people he knew and trusted. She had seen no sign of the sneering, smug tosser she thought he was. Not that he hadn't done some mean things in the past, but it appeared he was also a victim too. And nobody was perfect. She hated to say yes, because she was completely terrified, but saying no meant giving Slytherin something else to throw in Sirius' face.

"If I play Seeker, it doesn't guarantee Gryffindor will win," she said, finally looking at them. "There is a massive chance I will not catch the Snitch before their Seeker does."

"We know," said Sirius. "I hate to admit it, but they're a strong team. They will make us work for it, you can be sure. But at least we will stand a chance, and we can also avoid the embarrassment of starting the season with a second-year, talentless Seeker."

"No, you will have to face another kind of ridicule," she replied bitterly. "Having a girl on the team, a girl with no experience I might add."

Sirius shook his head. "You know what, maybe we should forget this. It isn't worth upsetting you over. We can always use Arnold."

James shrugged. "Or that clumsy tosser of a third year, Rory Finnegan. He's much better at Chaser, but at least he has some skill, even though the kid can barely stay on his broom."

"I can barely stay on my broom either if there are Bludgers involved," countered Annabelle.

Johnny B. had been a silent observer of the conversation thus far. Now he spoke. "We would protect you, Annabelle," he said softly. "Even more than usual because we know you are inexperienced and frightened." Sirius and James nodded in agreement.

"That's true," said Sirius. "We will have someone on you at all times."

"Won't that put the other team members at risk?"

"Maybe a little bit," said James, his cocky laugh returning, "but they're used to being hit with Bludgers."

"I'll have to practise with Bludgers, as well," said Annabelle, her voice filled with fear. "In the end, how am I any different than the other two lads you're talking about? All three of us seem to fall short of the mark."

"Because you can actually _catch_ the _Snitch_ ," James said fixedly.

"Let's forget this," Sirius said. "I don't want to pressure her." He turned to Annabelle with that sad look in his eyes. "I'm sorry. You said you didn't want to play, that you wanted nothing to do with the game, and I persisted in hounding you about it. Now I feel like a tosser. We should head back anyway. It's getting cold out."

He walked ahead, and the other lads joined him, but Annabelle remained still. Lily and Alice approached her.

"Let's go," said Lily. "And don't worry about it. I don't blame you for saying no. It's a lot of pressure."

The boys stopped to see what was keeping them. Annabelle hesitated, squeezing her eyes shut, and the image of Sirius being bullied by the Slytherins flashed before her. Then the word Mudblood blasted in her head.

"All right, I'll do it."

James and Johnny B.'s faces lit up in smiles, but Sirius shook his head, his brow creased in apprehension.

"No, Annabelle," he said. James and Johnny B. looked at him like he was mental. "I don't want to be the reason you're nervous all week – the reason you're doing something you're not keen on. I mean, we just sorted out our issues. You don't need a new reason to despise me."

His use of the word "despise" was like a knife in her stomach, tripling her guilt over her past assumptions about him.

"I want to play," she assured him. "I really want to. I don't want Slytherin to win. And if they win, I want it to be fair and square."

"But you don't enjoy it," said Sirius gently. "And that's fine. I was ridiculous to subject you to it."

"But I did enjoy it, today anyway. After a while it was fun. I know it'll be different on Saturday, but aren't most people frightened when trying something new? Doesn't mean I should let it stop me. I'm a Gryffindor, aren't I?"

Sirius grinned. "Yes, yes you are. But just so we're clear, you aren't doing this because we pressured you, right?"

"Right. I am doing this of my own free will," she confirmed. "It doesn't mean I'm not terrified, and it doesn't mean this isn't going to backfire in your faces when I lose the match for us. I just don't want the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team to be angry with me if we lose."

"We won't be angry," said James. "We will be thankful to you for making it so we have a fair shot. And we will keep looking for a replacement in the meantime."

"Okay, good," she said, then walked off toward the castle, Lily and Alice grinning with excitement on either side of her.

"I hope we don't regret this," James said to Sirius.

"That makes two of us."

 


	14. Guilty Conscience

In Potions the next day, Sirius still seemed distant, his brow slightly furrowed, his normally confident demeanour obscured by his thoughts.

"Are you all right?" Annabelle asked him.

"Sure," he said unconvincingly. "Just thinking about Saturday."

"It's going to be fine," she lied, amazed at how the tables had turned, and she was now reassuring him about the upcoming match.

"I feel like I was being selfish, you know? Like all I was thinking about was winning, instead of listening to you. I promise won't be upset if you don't want to play. I mean it."

"Well, I'm going through with it. You are not going to change my mind."

He smiled weakly and nodded. "Of course you are."

Annabelle wished she could shed her guilt over everything, especially since she had already apologised, but it had been a half-hearted apology, meant only to stop the nastiness between them. Instead, her shame worsened every time he expressed concern for her, and every time she remembered what had happened Saturday night.

After a few minutes, she spoke again. She had to get it off her chest.

"Hey," she whispered. "I want to tell you something." She waited for Professor Slughorn to turn towards the board. "I just wanted to tell you…to make sure you understand, I don't judge you for anything you ever said or did to Severus Snape. I feel so awful about how I regarded you all these years…" She was struggling to find the right words. "I was critical of you, without understanding, without any knowledge of _your_ side of things…" She press her lips together as Professor Slughorn shot her a stern look.

"Where is all this coming from?" Sirius asked.

"Nowhere... it's just been on my mind. I truly owe you an apology for being so self-righteous. I thought I had you figured out, but it turns out I was entirely wrong."

"Come on, Annabelle, you don't have to feel bad. I was just as judgemental about you. We talked about this already."

"No. You were only reacting to me. I see it now. I was _so_ out of line. You thought I was a hag, and I don't blame you."

Sirius stared at her for a moment, a small frown on his lips. "I know for a fact that I often sneered at you first, and hastily formed my own opinions of you, as well. I acted like a wanker - I'm not innocent. And I was rather wicked to Severus on quite a few occasions, so you were right to think me a bully, even though I'm doing my best to steer clear of him now. Honestly, I couldn't stand being thought of as a wanker by people I didn't even know."

She thought of Malachi Malfoy getting right in Sirius' face as he spoke of his family.

"That's just it, I mean, I don't know your whole story. I had no right to condemn you. I don't blame you if you never accept my apology, but just know that I truly am sorry. Okay?"

"Sure. Of course I accept, but you really don't have to keep apologising…" he trailed off, just as Professor Slughorn turned to see them talking again.

"Black and O'Neill, did you learn nothing from your floor scrubbing on Saturday? Enough chatter, or it will be detention again!"

"Sorry, sir," they both muttered as their friends yet again sent them looks that could kill.

Once they started their lab assignment, Sirius said, "You just need to relax, Annabelle. I don't know what's gotten into you today, but we're friends now. Don't worry about all that nonsense anymore."

Her gaze lingered on him as he started measuring the dry ingredients. _We're friends now_. She fought the urge to smile and lit the cauldron.

As they were gathering their things at the end of class, Lily approached Annabelle and whispered in her ear, "James mentioned sneaking out to some muggle pub some weekend. Can I tell him about your invisibility cloak?"

Annabelle glanced at Sirius to make sure he hadn't heard. He had just turned to talk to Caradoc about something, so she figured he hadn't. "Lily, you know I want to keep it a secret that I have one."

"But you never use it, and we would only tell the boys. They won't tell anyone, you know that."

"We'll talk about it when the time comes, all right? Please, don't tell him yet."

Lily reluctantly agreed, but Annabelle knew the discussion wasn't over. To think of sneaking out to pubs with boys they barely knew... it wasn't like either of them, but there was something vaguely thrilling about the idea.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Once classes were over for the day, it was time for the last round of Quidditch try-outs. Sirius said Annabelle wouldn't have to do anything - she was already in - but he wanted to make it official by introducing her to the team. Every one of them was agreeable to her joining them, since they knew it was a dire situation - everyone except Caradoc Dearborn.

"So it's already decided? Because I think it's a naff idea. She don't even know the game. And she's scared, you can tell," he complained, his thick Manchester accent hard for Annabelle to decipher.

"She knows the game, because Sirius taught her the rules," said James. "And this week is our chance to teach her techniques, and get her some practice."

"And who else do we have?" reminded Johnny B. "No offence, Arnold, as you've got loads of potential, but we can't exactly go out the pitch against Slytherin with a second-year Seeker when theirs is a strong, skilled seventh-year. We'd be a joke."

"Won't we be the joke anyway?" Caradoc asked. "All due respect, Annabelle, but doesn't anyone see that having someone on the team who has no experience or love for the game as kind of pathetic? And even though I know girls play Quidditch, they don't here, for whatever reason. Don't you think that's going to be a problem?"

"Only if we treat it like it's a problem," Sirius retorted. "That's your real issue, isn't it? You don't want to be playing with a girl. You could give fuck all about experience level, because Arnold now has less experience than Annabelle, and you'd rather him play. Come off it-"

"All right, you two, it doesn't matter, does it?" James interrupted. "You're outnumbered, Dearborn. O'Neill is Seeker." And that ended the discussion.

Practice was exhausting. Having a few reserve players for when one of the starters had to sit out a game for whatever reason made it possible to play a real practice match, but the team wasn't thrilled that Arnold would be her back-up. Annabelle did all right, she assumed because she was up against Arnold, catching the Snitch in record times, but she was absolutely terrified of the Bludgers, screaming a few times in the beginning when they came close to her. Sirius seemed to find her screaming comical, but Caradoc did not.

"Hold on tight, and just let it hit you, once and for all!" he shouted. "See what it feels like! Then maybe you won't be so afraid of it."

Sirius' grin disappeared. "No, no, not a good idea." He looked at James, and waited for him to agree.

"You know, it isn't a bad idea," said James. "Someone can spot her in case she falls."

"What if it knocks her out?" said Sirius, a panic rising in his voice. "Or worse?"

"Well, that's the risk you take when you're on a Quidditch team," argued Caradoc. "She's on the team, so she needs to be prepared."

Sirius glared at him, debating whether or not to call him a tosser to his face, when Annabelle said, "He's absolutely right. Let the thing at me. Just tell me the best way to deflect it."

James, Sirius, and Fairfax Hood, a seventh-year Beater flew over to explain. "Arm out, like this, hit it here or here," Fairfax explained in his deep voice, pointing at different parts of his arm. She practised imitating the motion he had demonstrated, dread filling her stomach.

"You're shaking, Annabelle," said Sirius. "Come on, James, is this really necessary?"

"I hate to say it, but it is. She needs to be prepared."

"It's fine, really," Annabelle said. "Let's just get it over with."

"I will be right beneath you," Sirius said to her.

"I bet you will," said Fairfax with a wink, making Annabelle blush.

"Nice way to make a girl feel like one of the team, Hood," rebuked Sirius. "No wonder girls don't want to play."

"If they all knew they could have Sirius Black beneath 'em, they would," called Fairfax, laughing as he flew away.

"Well-played, now can we please begin?" Sirius said. Annabelle was amused by the boyish banter, even if it was a touch embarrassing.

Johnny B. had the Bludger, but couldn't bring himself to release it. "What if it hurts her?" he asked.

"Release it close to her at first, then gradually get further back - let her feel the difference when it picks up speed," suggested James.

"All right," sighed Johnny B. "Sorry Annie!"

Annabelle braced herself. Again and again she deflected it. And it did hurt more and more the further away it was when it started. One hit was so hard that she yelped. She knew she would have a nasty bruise from it.

"Maybe that's enough," called Sirius.

"Just one more," replied James.

Annabelle looked down at Sirius to make sure he was still there, and he gave her an encouraging nod. Her knuckles were turning white she was holding the broom so tightly.

The Bludger came at her from a great distance and with such force that she decided to duck it instead, but it came right back at her. It grazed her shoulder and knocked her off her broom, but she caught the handle and dangled from it in mid-air. Before she could even scream, Sirius was there, arms around her, giving her a hoist back onto it.

"Thanks," she said breathlessly.

"You're welcome." He looked very startled indeed. Then he called to the others, "Enough now!"

"Are you sure, I mean shouldn't I practise more with this? At least dodging it anyway?"

"Tomorrow. I think you've done enough for today."

"Okay," she said quietly, sensing the ever confident Sirius Black was actually a ball of nerves. She made a mental note to practise staying on her broom.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Quidditch was again the topic of conversation at dinner. Lily and Alice, who had been watching from the stands, were impressed with Annabelle's bravery. The boys were impressed with her willingness to do what had to be done. Sirius was mostly in another world, and any conversation from him seemed disengaged.

After dinner, Sirius and Annabelle worked on their Potions assignment together, as originally planned. When they were finished, they read another chapter in their assigned reading to each other, this time getting the others in on it. Once they got going, it became a contest over who could read more dramatically, and they ended up laughing until their stomachs hurt, Sirius included. Annabelle was happy to see him smiling. Finally, Norvel Tugwood, a Gryffindor prefect, came in and told them to clear out, that it was lights out.

"Meeting Lorelei in a few minutes, are ya?" asked Sirius cheekily. The rumours were that the two had quite a hot romance going on.

"Very funny, Black," said Norvel in his nasally voice. "Now go."

"Don't get her pregnant," sneered Peter as they started up the boys' staircase. James smacked him over the head, and Sirius said, "You always go too far, Pete."

Peter just shrugged and followed them up the stairs.

Once in bed, Sirius felt sapped, not just physically, but like his nerves were shot as well. Annabelle had been doing great, but the Bludgers, and how fast that last one took her out...he shuddered at the memory of her barely catching her broom handle. He hoped with a bit more practice she would get used to them, because he didn't think he could get used to seeing her fall.

As drowsiness tugged at him, his mind wandered to her endless apologising in class. Whatever had caused them to disregard each other for so many years, he was relieved it was over, but she seemed close to tears in Potions, desperate to convince him she had been responsible, even though he knew his behaviour had been equally inappropriate. To calm her, he had told her they were friends now, but as soon as he said it, he wondered if she felt the same, or if she was only tolerating him for Lily and James' sakes. Over the past few days, they'd spent a decent amount of time together, on the pitch and off, doing assignments, reading to each other, laughing... and her insistence on convincing him how sorry she was - there was no reason for her to go that far if she still hated him. No. She was his friend now. And for some reason, he was glad.


	15. Epiphany

Annabelle woke up bright and early the next morning to meet the Quidditch team for breakfast and practice. Again, she took some hits, but was gradually getting used to the Bludger. And the Snitch was still rather easy to catch, but that wouldn't be the case when up against the other team's Seeker on Saturday.

They barely had time to clean up and it was off to Defence Against the Dark Arts, a class they shared with Slytherin. Annabelle saw Malachi with his cronies, staring and snickering at Sirius from across the room. Sirius gave no indication that he was aware of it, but James had noticed, and was alerting Remus to it. But soon she saw Sirius scowl, looking at them out of the corner of his eye, and she knew he was aware of their silent taunts.

Annabelle was disgusted that those idiots were picking on a person just because he wasn't a bigot like the rest of them. She didn't understand everything about the situation, but apparently the Malfoys and the Blacks had a history together, and there was something suspicious going on there. Recently, she had developed a major soft spot for Sirius, especially since he had been nothing but kind to her since sorting out their misunderstandings. She was starting to see why he and James had lashed out at Severus and his mates so many times. Watching the smug, mocking faces they were pulling compelled her to strike back as well. She was getting angry at the injustice of it all.

As their nearly deaf professor entered the room, Malachi said to James and Sirius, "You both been playing in the mud? You must like dirt."

James made a move to get up, most likely to either curse him or punch him, but Remus reached across the aisle and pulled him down.

James mouthed to Malachi, " _You're done._ "

Sirius only looked down at his desk, arms crossed over himself, eyes narrowed, like one more barb would incite his rage. He was trying to contain it.

Annabelle heard her words slicing through the air before she could stop herself. "Your folks must have been quite keen on dirt. How else would you have been conceived?"

Caradoc Dearborn cackled wildly, while James stared at her in disbelief, a huge smile on his face. Remus shook his head sombrely, and Sirius just peered at her, stunned, but stoic. Annabelle was still fuming.

"Bugger off to your mudhole, Mudblood," Malachi spat back.

A few Slytherins laughed, and even one Gryffindor - Dominica. Before anyone could respond to Malachi, Annabelle, whose heart was racing, bit back, "Mudhole? What is that even? Can't you do better than 'mudhole?'"

Caradoc, never one to miss a comeback, shouted, "It's the hole Malachi was born out of!"

The class burst out in riotous laughter, except for Sirius, who was still staring at Annabelle. She was shaking, but she laughed to give the impression she was unaffected by Malachi's disgusting presence. Malachi had turned so red with anger and embarrassment she thought he might explode. Lily mouthed to her from across the room, " _Stop NOW._ "

The professor yelled at the class to settle down, just as Malachi lunged for Caradoc. Professor McGonagall came tearing into the room then, demanding to know what all the fuss was about. Annabelle was ready to report Malachi, but caught sight of her friends, the boys included, looking fearfully at her, telling her with their eyes not to. So she kept quiet. And since no one would talk, the whole class was made to stay after for ten minutes, except anyone who had to report for duty somewhere, meaning Annabelle, who had picked up an extra shift in the library that day. Caradoc and Malachi were given detention for a week in her office for fighting in class, and their next trip to Hogsmeade was taken away.

When McGonagall returned at the end of class to take over for the ten minute detention, Annabelle excused herself quickly to head to work, storming out of the room, but making sure to shoot a disdainful look at Malachi, who was watching her go with malevolence in his eyes.

Working in the library dragged, what with everything on her mind, and having to endure silence all of a sudden. Had she really said that about Malachi's parents? He had brought out the worst in her. At least she would only be at work for an hour and half, but it felt like an eternity. By the end of her shift, she was totally drained, and she felt like skipping their next class to take a nap. She gathered her things and headed out, quietly pulling the heavy wooden door shut behind her. She didn't expect to see Sirius standing against the opposite wall, hands in his pockets, looking very troubled indeed.

She jumped, a frightened sound escaping her. "Where'd you come from?"

"Out there," he said, pointing to the door that led into a large foyer.

"Okay, Mr. Literal. Is something the matter?"

He stared at her a minute, his stormy eyes studying her so intensely that she felt a little dizzy.

"It was you, wasn't it," he said evenly, his steady gaze trying to penetrate her thoughts.

"What was me?" asked Annabelle, momentarily confused. Then it dawned on her.

"That night, outside the Great Hall."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She started towards the door, but Sirius was next to her in a flash, walking backwards beside her so he could continue to read her expressions as he spoke.

"It was you, under your Invisibility Cloak. I heard what Lily said in Potions about borrowing it." She stopped walking at the door, but couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes despite him standing right next to her. "That confirmed it for me," he went on. "You had gone out to retrieve something from the Great Hall, and you saw me. You saw what they were doing. Now that it's hit me, it was odd that you hadn't asked that night where I'd been, coming in alone and all. It's because you already knew where I was."

He wasn't going to let this go. She stayed rooted to the floor, listening to him think out loud, and trying to figure out if he was angry with her or not.

"And today, in class, you lashed out at him. They've said nasty things before, but today it really hit a nerve. Because you saw what they are capable of. You knew what they planned to do to me."

She wished she'd told him what she had seen that night straight away, instead of keeping it from him, because he seemed upset she'd kept it from him.

"I wondered why you were suddenly so remorseful, why you were feeling so guilty. It's because you realised that I wasn't the only aggressor when it came to picking on people. That I was a target as well. Am I right?"

She squeezed her eyes shut, still not sure if he was upset with her or not. He didn't wait for her to answer.

"Was that the first time you cast a spell without a wand?" It was asked in earnest, or so it seemed. She was having a hard time reading him.

She slowly met his eyes. "Yes," she replied, her voice almost a whisper.

"To do that you have to be under extreme duress, so you must have been quite frightened."

"I was."

"Did you tell anyone what you saw?

"No."

Sirius said nothing, but paced slowly, deep in thought. He was distraught, and she somehow felt responsible.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked timidly.

Sirius stopped in his tracks. "About which part? The part where you saved me from a possible mauling, or the part where you didn't tell me you did?"

"Either?"

"I could hardly be upset that you helped me, I'd have to be a complete idiot to be angry about that. But I'm confused as to why you didn't tell me. You could have told me when I came into the common room that night. Why, Annabelle? Why did you keep it a secret?"

"I didn't… know how… You had never mentioned it to me, so I felt like it was something I wasn't supposed to know. I didn't want you to feel like you had to explain or anything... I meant no harm."

"Oh, Annabelle, I know you meant no harm. I know that," he said, sitting down on a step of the staircase that led to to the fourth floor. "You thought I'd be embarrassed, didn't you? You felt sorry for me."

"Perhaps," she said, sitting down next to him on the step, "but only because I know boys can be so stubborn and hard on themselves when they need help, but you were outnumbered and unarmed. No one would stand a chance in that situation, and I reckon I'd feel sorry for anyone being ganged up on. Honestly, you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

He was silent for a moment, his face sad and forlorn, then he sighed. "There is a lot about my family you don't understand, and I really don't want to get into it right now, but I go way back with that wanker. Our parents are close friends, and he is on a mission to punish me for going against their beliefs, which I'm sure are becoming very clear to you."

"All I know for sure is that Malachi hates mudbloods and thinks everyone else should too."

Sirius flinched at the word. "Please, Annie, don't say that horrid word. Not all pureblood wizards think that way, especially me. I would never say that about you or anyone. It's utter rubbish."

It hadn't escaped her that Sirius had just called her Annie. It made her smile, because it was a name only the people closest to her used.

"I figured you felt that way," she said, "considering who your mates are. And I won't say that word anymore, even though it doesn't hurt me when someone says it about me. I am enlightened enough to know that magical ability isn't determined by blood. He sounds ignorant when he says such things."

"I agree. I think the whole concept of blood purity is ridiculous. You're either magical or you're not. Why should it matter what your parents are? And why should it matter who you befriend or marry? Wizards and witches are human after all, and all these purebloods marrying each other in an attempt to keep the blood _pure_ has resulted in a lot of daft humans. My family is proof of that, they're completely mental. I wouldn't marry a pureblood for anything, despite what my parents have in mind. My kids would end up with three heads."

"So that's why you're a wreck," Annabelle teased, laughing at his three-heads comment.

"Probably," Sirius mumbled, missing the joke completely.

"Hey, I was just teasing," she said gently. "You're obviously the exception, because there doesn't seem to be anything you can't do. As your Quidditch groupies would say, ' _You're perfect._ '" She said it in jest, but she knew it wasn't too far off the mark.

"Hardly," he said with a chuckle. "And as for something I can't do - control my temper. That's always been a tough one."

"I'm afraid we have that in common."

"I was just going to say that," he laughed. "By the way, why were you wearing an invisibility cloak that night? What did you need it for?"

Annabelle didn't want to give away her secret tower. It was hers and hers alone.

"Just a precaution," she said. "I don't like to be seen wandering the castle alone at night." It wasn't a lie.

"That's wise. I mean, I might have borrowed James' cloak and avoided all that trouble. Thanks for not telling Dumbledore, by the way."

"I should have. They were out for blood. Such cowards, attacking when it's three against one. I still have a mind to tell Dumbledore."

"No, Annabelle, please. Don't tell. Then our parents will get dragged into it, and bloody hell, I can't deal with that level of drama." He was getting worked up. "I said I wouldn't go off alone at night. They won't have a chance to get me alone."

"All right, but what if they attack you when you're not alone? What if they get a bigger group and it's just you and James or somebody? What then?"

"Don't worry about it, Annabelle. We will take care of it, somehow." His words sounded ominous. "Just don't involve Dumbledore."

"Fine," she agreed, "but if I think you're in immediate danger, I'm going to straight to him."

"After you Stupefy them?"

She grinned. "Obviously."

"One more thing," Sirius said. "After what you pulled in class today, just be careful. I don't think they would attack a girl, but that's not to say one of their female friends wouldn't. Your temper might have dragged you into this."

"I thought of that, as well. No more solitary excursions through the castle for me, either."

"Good. Now that the mystery is solved, please promise me you'll tell me about it next time you save my hide."

"All right, that's a promise."

"Are you heading to class?"

"Yes, even though I'd rather have a nap. Merlin, I'm starving though," she said, feeling her stomach growl.

"Quidditch will do that to you. Make you both exhausted and ravenous. Soon you'll be sneaking food out of the Great Hall just to have something to eat again an hour later, after your nap," he joked as they went up the stairs.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That evening, after another Quidditch practice, Annabelle was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open at dinner.

"I think I'm just going to sleep here tonight," she said through a yawn, resting her head in her hands as everyone else was getting up to leave. "I don't think I can move my legs to walk myself up to the tower."

"I'll help you Annie," offered Johnny B. "Let's go." He hopped over the table and picked her up, tossing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

She laughed and squealed, ordering him to put her down, but he meant it. He was going to carry her all the way to the common room.

"No way!" he said firmly, "You need a good night's rest. I'm taking you away and seeing to it you get right to bed, no lollygagging around." After a flight of stairs though, he set her down and said breathlessly, "Right. I'm knackered. Can't make it."

"Good, because I was about to be sick on you. You had me almost upside down!" she said, still laughing.

Once they were in the common room, James reminded them about practice - again, an early one. Annabelle went straight to the dorm, barely strong enough to put her nightgown on. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

"She's like a child after a long day of play," Alice mused wistfully after she'd left.

Peter sneered, "You say the most peculiar things, Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes.

After they finished their assignments, they said their good nights and went up to their dorms. James and Lily stepped outside the common room to say theirs. Sirius went upstairs to get ready for bed himself, but found that he couldn't sleep. So he grabbed his literature book and went back downstairs.

Remus was seated on the sofa, also reading.

"I think I'll join you for a little bit if you don't mind," said Sirius.

"Can't sleep?"

"Nope. Not a wink. Too many things on my mind. Turns out it was Annabelle who cast the spells on those dirtbags. She was off to get something, and just happened to be there at the right time."

Remus' eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah, and lucky for me she was, because I was going to be toast otherwise."

"I'm glad the two of you are sort of friends now," said Remus. "I always thought you'd make good friends, except for the fact that you couldn't stand each other. You two getting along has already made this year rather interesting."

"You mean a girl on the Quidditch team?" Sirius asked.

"That, among other things," he said, a glint in his eye. "The whole school is buzzing about the match Saturday."

Sirius grew quiet, and he stared into the fire, deep in thought.

"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders," Remus said. "What's going on with you?"

Sirius sighed. "Don't tell anyone, because I don't want to get a reputation as a worrier, but this game Saturday…"

"Is going to be wicked," Remus finished for him.

"Yeah, but it's going to be nerve-racking as well. Their team is brutal. And considering everything that's happened over the last few days? I regret getting Annabelle involved."

"I know. It's an awful burden having someone want to help you out. To care about you."

Sirius scowled at him. "I don't mean that. Of course it's nice. It's a far cry better than her despising me, that's for sure."

Remus changed his tone. "Let me rephrase that. It's an awful burden caring about someone else, wanting to protect them."

Again Sirius shot him the side-eye, but didn't say anything. Remus was right. He did care about her, much to his own surprise. And he did feel the need to protect her, but only because he was the one that roped her into playing Quidditch.

"It's just that if we hadn't become friends, she wouldn't be in this mess with me," said Sirius, after he'd dwelt on it a bit more.

"But that's what friends do, they get involved in each others' messes, they help each other out. It's called loyalty. You're rather good at it yourself."

"So far, she is the one saving me every time."

"You are saving her in Potions, that's for sure. And you will have other opportunities to repay her."

"I hope so," said Sirius. "I really hope so."

 


	16. Rising Tensions

Saturday was fast approaching, and Annabelle's dread was growing by the day. Why did their first match have to be against their greatest rival, Slytherin, the hardest team to beat? By Friday, she was exhausted, overwhelmed, barely able to keep her eyes open at night to do her assignments, and terrified about what would be happening on the pitch in a day's time. To add insult to injury, she was getting a cold. She had taken some Pepperup Potion the night before, but it wasn't working very well. She was tempted to back out.

After Friday morning's practice, she sat down on her bed and rubbed lotion into her sore hands.

"There you are," Lily said as she entered the room with Alice. "We've been looking for you. Thought you'd have gone straight to breakfast with the boys."

"I've lost my appetite. I feel nauseous about tomorrow." She sniffled, following up with a powerful sneeze.

"You have to eat," said Alice. "You'll need your strength. And I think your cold has gotten worse."

Annabelle began to panic. "How did I let myself get talked into this? What in the bloody hell is wrong with my head? Me? On the Quidditch team? For feck's sake, what a ridiculous notion!"

Lily and Alice sat down on either side of her. Lily put her arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

"You have to relax," she said. "You can't get all worked up over this!"

"Yeah, Annie," added Alice. "It's just a game."

"Not to them it isn't," replied Annabelle. "Especially _this_ game. It's a war to them. And the Slytherin team is ruthless. I will be lucky if I survive! Why oh why did I say I'd do this?"

"Maybe you should let Sirius know how you feel," advised Alice. "You are ill on top of it all."

"No," said Lily, "because it's going to be fine. Telling Sirius will not solve anything. You asked why you said you'd do this. Here is the answer - they asked for your help and you wanted to help. That is all. Do you feel too ill to play? Because that would be the only reason I'd advise backing out."

Tears trickled down her flushed cheeks. "I can still play. They wouldn't let a cold stop them from playing. But how much help can I possibly be when I am terrified?"

"Just take it for what it is. So what if they eat, sleep, and breathe Quidditch," Lily explained. "You don't have to. Just try to catch the Snitch and avoid Bludgers. If the other Seeker catches the Snitch, so what? It's not like you didn't tell them you weren't confident about this. They know how tough Slytherin is to beat, and I don't think they'd be surprised if you didn't catch the Snitch."

"Obviously they think I will, or they would have gone with _Arnold._ This is going to be embarrassing, and painful."

"If you don't catch it, and Slytherin wins for that reason, they will not say a word, because they will have to answer to _us_ ," said Alice, just as Dominica entered the room. "Isn't that right, Dominica?"

"Don't get me involved in this," Dominica retorted as she sat down on her own bed.

"You wouldn't defend Annabelle? Why not?" asked Lily.

"Because I think she's a moron for joining the team in the first place. She's a joke now. Everyone is laughing at her behind her back."

"No they aren't," said Alice. "That's just not true. In fact, a lot of girls admire what she's doing, and wish they were doing it too."

"Why, because she gets to hang out 24/7 with the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Please, everyone knows they don't stand a chance with her on the team. Besides, Hufflepuff has the fitter guys, so who cares if Annabelle is on the Gryffindor team?"

Annabelle couldn't believe Dominica, someone she'd always thought of as an ally, was talking this way.

Lily glared at her. "She's clearly jealous, Annabelle. Ignore her."

The air between them became charged.

"Jealous of what?" spat Dominica.

"You know what," said Lily.

"Of you? Because you have a boyfriend that can't make up his mind whether he wants to be with you or not? Or of Annabelle, who thinks Sirius Black cares about her, but is really only using her to beat Slytherin? My bet is that when they lose because of Annabelle, he will drop her like a hot potato. He was pretty much forced to be her friend anyway by you and your hotshot boyfriend."

Annabelle was ready to explode on her, but Lily calmly said, "See? Jealous."

Dominica's eyes narrowed. "You are such bitches."

"Pot meet kettle," replied Alice. "What's got into you lately? You've been nothing but horrid to everyone. You don't know a thing about how Sirius feels, and you are not an expert on Lily and James' relationship."

"It's obvious. I don't need to be an expert."

Annabelle had had enough. "I don't need this right now. I came in here for some peace, not to be attacked. Whatever your problem is, I didn't cause it. I have been nothing but a friend to you all these years." She got up to leave, but stopped at the door. "But don't worry, I see how it is. I see your true colours now."

"Go run off to your teammates and tell them about rotten Dominica! It will be the last time they pretend to care about you after tomorrow!"

"But I'm sure it won't be the last time you try to get into their pants after a game!" shouted Annabelle as she disappeared down the stairs.

Lily burst out laughing at Annabelle's remark, but Alice just glared at Dominica.

"Oh, Dominica, she's got you there," said Lily on her way out of the room. Alice followed silently, leaving Dominica alone to seethe.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That night, Sirius took Annabelle out on the grounds to practise getting back on her broom. She had fallen off several times in practice, holding on with one arm, but someone always rushed to rescue her. He felt she needed to be able to do it without help in case someone couldn't get to her before a Bludger did. They spent an hour and half intensely working on it, both fraught with stress over the approaching match. Finally she got the hang of it, and even grew efficient at it. Sirius relaxed a bit.

"All right, Annie, I think you are as ready as you can possibly be at this point. Wish we had more time to practise. I'm going to be honest, they are brutal players. The Snitch is secondary to your safety. If you think they are trying to hurt you on purpose, forget the Snitch and stay clear of trouble. We know there's a good chance they will beat us, so really, don't worry about winning."

Annabelle was alarmed by his warning. "Why are you so apprehensive all of a sudden? Because of what I said to Malachi?"

"That's part of it," he replied, "but not all of it. They have some new players as well, and they may not be the best players, but they are arseholes of the highest order, and I wouldn't put it past them to play dirty."

"When were you going to tell me about these new players?"

"We only found out today. James didn't want to tell you. He thought it would make you more nervous than you already are. I agreed, but I think you should be fully aware of what the other team is about. My first concern is your safety, and right now I am kicking myself for encouraging this."

"I'm kicking myself for agreeing to it. But I'm not backing out now. That would be so much worse than playing and losing. It's the talk of the school, and if I don't play I will never live it down."

Sirius came face to face with her, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders, and she felt her heart skip a beat. "Who cares what anyone thinks? I didn't know what their team was going to look like, or maybe I wasn't facing reality, but with everything that's been happening off the pitch with them, I don't know if you should be up there."

"That's not what I want to hear," said Annabelle quietly, her heart pounding. Then she sneezed three times.

"Bless you. You could always use your cold as an excuse."

"No Quidditch player worth his salt would sit out a game due to a cold, even I know that."

James' voice rang out from across the grass, "Sirius, you told her didn't you."

"I said I was going to," Sirius replied, letting go of her.

"Annabelle, don't listen to him," James said. "Yes, they are a brutal bunch, but you can be brutal too. You showed Malachi no fear today in class, now show the team no fear. If they sense fear they will already have an advantage. Even if you are shitting your pants out there, don't let them know."

"That's disgusting," said Annabelle, stifling a laugh.

"You know what I mean. Act like you own the place. Pretend you've been at this game for ages."

"But she's not well," said Sirius. "She's also not one of Slytherin's favourite people. Maybe we shouldn't encourage her to taunt them."

"Listen, if she gets her head knocked off, I'll take the blame."

"Very funny," said Annabelle.

Sirius glowered at him. "Yeah, hilarious."

"Just relax, both of you," advised James. "If you go in all tense, then we're doomed. Just stop thinking about it. Come back to the dorms and get some sleep. Take some Pepperup. Merlin, were you two going to stay out here all night? You know those Slytherin gits could be plotting their revenge. Let's go before trouble finds us."

"We were just heading in," said Sirius, finding it difficult to follow James' advice. Now he had the image of Annabelle's head getting knocked off to deal with, and no matter what James said, he would only blame himself.

 


	17. Mighty Gryffindor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In this fic, Quidditch runs on more of a traditional sports schedule. Quidditch "season" is in autumn, and they play each house twice, since Gryffindor playing three matches just doesn't seem like enough! (One chance to beat Slytherin? No fair!) Since the Marauder era was not very detailed in the books, I am going with a different Quidditch schedule that may have changed by Harry's time.
> 
> plaits (UK) = braids  
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle tossed and turned all night, her sleep fraught with nightmares. At least she slept. Her cold hadn't got much better, but thankfully it hadn't worsened. She remembered James' words, "Just relax…pretend you've been at the game for ages… show no fear…" She repeated the words like a mantra in her head as Septima French-plaited her hair for the game.

Once her plaits were complete, she forced herself down to the common room where Sirius and Remus were waiting.

Sirius smiled cautiously. "How are we doing this morning, Madam Seeker?"

"Just trying to stay focused," she replied.

"Good. That's a good attitude," he said, as he patted her on the back and they headed to the Great Hall.

Breakfast was more relaxed on Saturdays, with students trailing in late, and coming and going as they pleased. Annabelle felt nostalgic for the days when Saturdays were carefree for her as well. How she longed to have this weight lifted. Several members of the team were already there eating, and the rest filed in shortly after. They were all nervous, Annabelle could tell. But they were also excited. Annabelle could barely swallow her food.

"Oh no, someone give me a pep talk, I'm starting to panic a bit," she said hoarsely, fanning herself with her hand.

The rest of the team shifted uncomfortably and looked at her with a mix of pity, annoyance, and understanding. Sirius gently pushed her hand down.

"Look at me," he said softly, and she complied. "Smile, just smile. Now laugh." She laughed, but only because it was weird to have someone instructing her to laugh. "Now keep that smile on your face. They're watching us. Don't give them a clue as to how you're feeling. James was right yesterday. You are going to be fine, win or lose. You know how to deflect a Bludger, you know how to get back on your broom, and you know how to catch a Snitch if the opportunity should present itself. And if you don't catch it, remember, even the pros can't win every game. No one is going to hold it against you. Right lads?"

"That's the truth, Annabelle," said Fairfax.

"Yup, he's right," agreed Caradoc, who had warmed up to Annabelle after she told off Malachi in class. "We know they're tough and we know this is all new to you. No pressure."

"Annie, you already know I love you no matter what," said Johnny B. "You could fly about throughout the match doing handstands on your broom while yodelling _God Save the Queen_ and I'd still think you were ace."

Of course, this made Annabelle burst with laughter. Sirius and Remus laughed, as well. James had been drinking his tea and ended up snorting it out of his nose. Maybe it was all the stress releasing itself, but soon the whole team was laughing. Annabelle was doubled over, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh my, ouch… it hurts," she whimpered. And just when they would finally get control over themselves, someone would inevitably start laughing again and they'd all be in stitches. The Slytherins were not seeing a nervous, intimidated team, that was for sure, and this was not lost on any of the Gryffindors.

Dominica had come in with Septima while the team was laughing, but went straight to where her new seventh-year friends were sitting. If you could call them friends, since she just kind of attached herself to them. She looked at Annabelle smugly, but Annabelle wasn't going to react. Lily was right. Dominica was jealous. Why didn't she just try out for the team herself, instead of being angry at Annabelle? It made no sense.

Soon, Lily and Alice joined them, just as the team was about to head out to the pitch to change into their Quidditch uniforms. Some of the more avid fans were already making their way out to the stands. Annabelle's stomach gave a lurch as reality came crashing back again. Lily and Alice pulled her aside and gave her some encouragement.

"You are going to be fine," Lily assured her. "You are amazing - blazing a trail for the girls at Hogwarts. Be proud. We will be there rooting for you!"

"And if anything bad happens, Madam Pomfrey is great at healing," added Alice.

"Gee, thanks Alice. I feel so much better knowing that."

The girls shared a quick hug. After, Lily pulled James aside to wish him luck too, being careful not to embarrass him. Much to her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss in front of everyone. His teammates hooted, and James turned red, but he didn't let her go.

"Wow, what was that for?" she asked, smiling.

"For good luck. I'm going to need it."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle felt like she was being led to the slaughter. All the way to the pitch, she envisioned every possible atrocity that could take place. Her stomach kept lurching as well.

"You look like you're going keel over," Sirius said, offering her his arm.

She took it, glad for the security it provided, lest she actually pass out from nerves. Once inside the changing rooms, Annabelle saw that there was an area sectioned off for her to change privately. Her Quidditch uniform was already hanging there, placed there by Madam Hooch, the flying instructor and adviser for the Quidditch teams. It said O'Neill in big gold letters, and she was reminded of her grandfather, and how proud he would have been. And even though he was gone, she still wanted to make him proud, but she was so afraid. She was shaking as she changed, hearing the boys on the other side of the divide talking rubbish to get themselves psyched for the game, and all she wanted to do was curl up in a corner and hide.

Finally, they were ready, just waiting for the signal to fly out onto the pitch.

"Just follow me," Johnny B. told her. "Then we will get into position."

Sirius glanced at her warily. "Annabelle, you look awfully pale. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Just a case of the collywobbles," she said. "Uh oh, I think I'm going to be sick."

She turned away from them, but couldn't make it outside. Instead she barfed in a corner.

"I'll hold your plaits, Annie," said Johnny B. as he took the two plaits in one hand and plugged his nose with the other. The others covered their noses, shooting each other uneasy looks.

"Sorry about that!" she said. "I should get my wand and clean it up."

"Don't worry about it now," said James. "An elf will do it. Have a sip of water because it's time. Relax, yeah? You're a Gryffindor." Then he turned to the rest of the team who were eager to get out on the pitch, mainly to escape the vomit, and bellowed, "We can do this, team! We are mighty Gryffindor! Let's show them what we're made of!"

The boys all shouted and cheered, and the doors began to open.

"Breathe, Annie," said Sirius. "You will get through this."

She nodded, and when Johnny B. took off, she followed, Sirius behind her. The announcer was saying their names and positions, and the crowd was cheering, but they seemed far away somehow. She felt like she was having an out of body experience, and everything happening around her was just sweeping her along.

The game began, and she found herself flying above the other players at first, because it felt safer. She eyed the other Seeker, Otto Mingus, a giant, muscle-bound, light-haired boy who looked at her like he wanted to obliterate her. She showed no emotion, though inside butterflies ripped through her, and she could barely catch her breath.

After some time had passed, she began to calm down, even growing slightly irritated. Several times in the first hour, Otto tried to trick her, and she returned the favour by almost running him into the ground. He had underestimated her - she knew he would. Once or twice they both saw the Snitch, but they always lost sight of it before it could be caught. The Bludgers came round a few times, once because Amycus Carrow, one of the Slytherin Beaters, smacked it right at her. She ducked in the nick of time. It wasn't until she was on the other side of the pitch that she saw the little golden ball flash in her peripheral vision. She made a move in the other direction, and so did Otto. But then she jerked her broom back the other way, looking in the direction it had flown. There it was, right by the Gryffindor stands. She went for it. Otto had hesitated because he thought she was bluffing. She almost had it when a Bludger breezed past her head and she had to turn to avoid colliding with it.

The Snitch had changed direction as well. Otto had gained the advantage, but Annabelle wasn't going down without a fight. She trailed him as fast as her broom could take her. A Bludger came at him and he had to deflect it, which put them side by side, flying straight over the centre of the pitch, both hands about to touch the Snitch. Annabelle leaned out, stretching her arm as far as it could go. Just as her finger was about to make contact, a Bludger came flying into Otto, which sent him smashing into Annabelle with such force that it knocked her off her broom. She held on and remounted it as Sirius had taught her, but it was too late. Otto had the Snitch. Before she knew it, Caradoc launched into him with his fists.

"You did that on purpose you cheat!" he cried out, landing a punch under his right eye. "No Bludger would send a beast like you flying like that!" Without wands, the boys had to duke it out the Muggle way, which they seemed to prefer anyway. Quickly though, Madame Hooch and some of the other players flew over and broke them up. But it was hard to prove cheating in Quidditch since it moved so quickly, and Bludgers were so unpredictable. Slytherin had won.

Usually the teams shook hands after a match, but after what had happened with Caradoc, Madam Hooch sent them straight to the changing rooms. She didn't want any more fights.

Annabelle flew into their station, dropped her broom and fell into Johnny B.'s chest, hands hiding her face. Sirius put a hand on her back and tried to talk to her, as the rest of the team returned to the room.

"Annie," he said in a gentle voice, "You did brilliantly. You really had him going!"

"Yeah, Annabelle," said Fairfax. "You would have had it if that fucker hadn't cheated."

She turned round to face them, wiping her eyes, while Johnny B. put his arms around her and rested his head on hers.

"Shite, I didn't want to do the crying thing," she said.

"Feck it, I feel like crying I'm so angry!" Caradoc blustered, his cheek swollen from Otto's iron fist. "I saw that sodding arse Carrow flying about, waiting for Ollivander to pass him a Bludger so he could smack it into that wanker. I tried to get in his way but that other tosser blocked me. I saw it coming a mile away!"

Annabelle wiped her eyes. "If I'd been stronger, maybe I could have-"

"No," James said. "Don't do that. They went to great lengths to set that up."

"But it shouldn't matter. Even if the Bludger came at him by accident, it still would have overpowered me."

" _No,_ Annabelle," said Caradoc. "He used the Bludger as an _excuse_ to plough into you. Don't you see? No way he would have smacked into you that hard from a Bludger. Look at the size of him! You would have had the Snitch fair and square."

Madam Hooch and the Headmistress entered the room and the boys began explaining and protesting all at once.

"Silence!" shouted McGonagall. "Now just hear us out. We understand your claims Mr. Dearborn, and we are apt to believe them."

"They aren't just claims! Their Beater and him purposely-"

"Hush! I know this," she snapped. "Don't you think I recognise how they operate? But the problem is, there is no way to prove that they had any ill intent. You will have to work on figuring out their tactics before December when you will get a second chance." Then she turned to Annabelle. "You, my dear, were impressive out there. You did this school proud, so don't you fret for a second."

"That's the truth!" Rory Finnegan, the third-year Chaser agreed.

"But, Annabelle," she continued, "you look awfully ill. I think this Quidditch season comes on too fast and aggressive for all of you. Madam Hooch and I may be adjusting the schedule at some point in the future. Less games, more spread out."

A collective muttering of disapproval rose from the team.

"Not because I'm ill, I hope," said Annabelle. "People get colds. It isn't Quidditch's fault."

"We know, Miss O'Neill," replied Madam Hooch. "We have been considering this since last year. But any changes, if they do take place, won't happen right away. We'll re-examine the idea in June."

"As if the day couldn't get any worse," murmured Caradoc.

"Oh, the day is about to get worse for you, young man," admonished Hooch. "There is to be no fighting on the Hogwarts pitch, no matter what you think happened. Your parents didn't come in from Manchester to see you punching people in the face. If it happens again, you will be off the team. For now though, you will be doing detention with me all week, cleaning the changing rooms along with Otto Mingus."

"This is in addition to your detentions with me, Mr. Dearborn," said McGonagall. "Now, please, learn some self-control."

Caradoc scowled. "Yes Ma'am."

Annabelle thought she detected the faintest hint of a smile cross McGonagall's face. "Now go clean yourselves up. Contrary to what Mr. Dearborn believes, it was a good day on the pitch for Gryffindor. You played well, you scored a great deal of points, and you made your house proud. See you in the Great Hall."

As everyone filed out of the room, Sirius lagged behind, his eyes on Annabelle. She had a feeling he wanted to say something to her, so she didn't move. Was this the moment where he ditched her friendship as Dominica predicted he would? Instead, he walked towards her and wrapped her up in a warm hug. It was so unexpected, but so sweet, and she remembered how worried he'd been for her sake.

"I thought you were toast when he knocked into you," he said, giving her a squeeze.

"So you're not upset with me?" she asked, her cheek pressed into his shoulder. He smelled like the cold autumn air.

"Upset?" he repeated, pulling back to look at her. "Are you joking? You were great out there! Why on earth would I be upset with you? No, no, no."

She nodded, her eyes growing misty again. "Thank you."

"I don't want to hear you blaming yourself. You gave it your best shot against a dirty no-good team. We all did. McGonagall's right, you made us proud. I don't think I've ever been prouder to be a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team than I am today. Really."

She was so relieved he wasn't angry and that Dominica had been wrong in her prediction. His friendship was beginning to mean something to her, and she'd have missed him if he'd abandoned her for not catching the Snitch.

"I'm glad we're mates now," was all she could manage without getting weepy.

"The feeling is mutual."

Then, before it could turn into a sap-fest, she linked her arm through his and they followed the others. "Let's go, I'm starving," she said.

He laughed. "Considering you lost your breakfast all over the floor, I'm not surprised."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

As the team entered the Great Hall together, the Gryffindor table erupted in cheers. Johnny B. and Fairfax hoisted Annabelle up on their shoulders. She screeched in surprise, but Fairfax reassured her, "Don't worry, we've got you!"

The Slytherins, who had been celebrating, turned sullen and a bit confused. Elsinore Collins was burning up with hatred for Annabelle. Why were the Gryffindors celebrating? She didn't catch the Snitch. THEY LOST. _Morons._

Annabelle was touched, but equally embarrassed by all the attention. They were going out of their way to let her know they valued her. And Caradoc was right. She would have had that Snitch if Otto hadn't pushed her off her broom, on purpose.

At the table, James stood up, cleared his throat, and clinked his glass with his spoon.

"I'd like to say a few words, if you all don't mind." The team members and their friends quieted. "I just want to say that, although we lost today, it wasn't for want of trying, for drive and motivation, and for facing the things that scare us the most. We gave it all we had, we played like true Gryffindors, and that is all a captain can ask of his team. To our returning team members, welcome back. Your talents have helped get us to where we are today. To our new team members, welcome, and we are lucky to have you. To our friends and girlfriends, who have put up with us and our Quidditch obsession, thanks for encouraging us and understanding." He looked at Lily when he said this, and she grinned. "And finally, a word to one of our new members in particular, Annabelle." She blushed, but smiled. "You have worked tirelessly this past week, most of time wishing you were off doing something else." Everyone laughed, even though it was true. "And you did it so you could fill an important position on your house's team. You knew you were needed, and to all of us, you were the real winner today. And… we'd all like to ask that you stay on the team for the season."

They all looked at her hopefully, and she knew in her heart there was no escaping Quidditch for her, at least not until the season ended.

"Well?" James asked.

"How could I say no to that?" she answered. "Yes, I'll stay on the team, as long as you'll have me."

The team and her friends cheered, except for Dominica, who had been sitting at the end of the table, ignoring them. Johnny B., who hated to see anyone being left out, called over to her.

"Dominica! Get your arse over here and celebrate with us!"

"Yeah, come on!" echoed Fairfax.

She smiled reluctantly, got up and squeezed in next to Peter. Annabelle thought maybe she was coming round, and smiled at her hopefully, but Dominica didn't smile back. Instead she turned to Caradoc and started her usual post-game flirting with any player that suited her at the moment.

Elsinore Collins saw their smiling faces, and the attention being showered on this Annabelle hag. She also noticed how comfortable Sirius was with her. She wasn't happy. Even though Slytherin won, their celebration was much tamer. Their captain stood up and said, "Well done, but next time, do better." Elsinore knew it was because they had almost lost. Because of a girl. A girl she now hated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews would be lovely! Talk to me, people!


	18. Lady Annabelle

 

 

 

September passed and soon it was October in all its colourful glory. The stress of not having her first Quidditch match looming over her had vanished. Thankfully, the old drama with Sirius and James also seemed like a distant memory. Annabelle was doing so much better in Potions now that she had Sirius' help, and he was really getting into Literature class ever since they started reading their assigned novel together. They even had a routine going. Common room after dinner; usually the others would join them for bit, but it always started and ended with the two of them. First Potions, then other assignments, and finally, reading, which involved intentional over-acting and fits of laughter.

One night, they were up too late, cracking each other up with their dramatic readings, then just generally making each other laugh. They were both rather good at impressions and were lovingly imitating their professors. After all the stress of the beginning of the year, it felt liberating to just be silly. Eventually, Sirius asked, "You want to sneak down to the kitchens for a snack?"

Annabelle barely had to think about her answer, deciding to go with it instead of being the wet noodle of worry. "Sure."

"Any way we can use your invisibility cloak?" He couldn't borrow James' cloak without waking him up, and waking James meant possibly waking everyone. The endless prospects for adventure flashed before him knowing there were two invisibility cloaks among the lot of them.

"Shouldn't be a problem. Lorelei is probably in her snoring stage of sleep by now. No one will hear me coming in over that racket."

Annabelle tiptoed quietly into her dorm room where the other girls lay sleeping, took her cloak from the trunk at the end of her bed, and disappeared as quiet as a mouse down the stairs. A thrill rose in her chest - was she really sneaking out of the tower at night?

It was difficult for the two of them to stifle their giggles while navigating the dark corridors down to the kitchen. A couple times they thought they heard Filch and had to hide in an alcove and try to keep from laughing. She figured out rather quickly why Sirius and his mates liked to sneak out so much. It was quite fun really, slinking about the castle under an invisibility cloak together. Maybe not the safest or wisest thing to do, but when stuck at boarding school day in and day out with limited entertainment options, one had to get creative.

And there was something about Sirius himself... she wasn't sure what it was, but she couldn't pretend she didn't enjoy his company. It didn't hurt that he was absolutely stunning to look at, something she'd only recently admitted to herself now that the sight of him wasn't marred with sneers and scowls and misunderstandings. But it was more than that. Beneath the surface of this beautiful, self-assured, Quidditch-obsessed boy was a sensitive, funny, and remarkable young man.

That being said, he sometimes seemed a million miles away, and hardly ever mentioned his family. She thought maybe he took comfort in the fact that Annabelle wasn't some lovesick fool. She refused to let herself be sucked into the boy-crush drama anyway, despite Lily's prodding. His friendship meant too much to her to risk it.

What Annabelle could never have guessed, was that Sirius was having similar thoughts about her. He had been reluctant to get to know her in the beginning, only making peace with her to placate his best mate. But the way things were working out, he found himself actually wanting to spend time with her. She was so unassuming, despite her grandfather having been a great wizard and Dumbledore's friend. Compared to conceited Elsinore, Annabelle's sincerity was a breath of fresh air. He loved making her laugh, and the way her smile would light up the room… Even her quirks endeared her to him; her temper, her poor Potions skills, and oddly enough, her constant worrying. He only regretted they hadn't been friends sooner.

There was still so much about her he didn't know, and she was extremely guarded about her past. As far as he knew, she hadn't given many lads the time of day, except for Remus, whom everyone loved, and Johnny B. who was gay. And now him. He liked that he was now included in the privileged few she'd let in, but he reminded himself she clearly only wanted friendship, and that was enough. Just look at Lily and James' turbulent, on again-off again relationship, he thought. When things were good with them, they were great. But when things went bad, they didn't even talk to each other. Sirius had only been friendly with Annabelle for a short time, yet he couldn't imagine not speaking to her. Love only complicated things.

Finally, they made it to the kitchens. The house-elves should have been sleeping, but one was still awake, they discovered, after they'd shed the cloak and opened the ice box.

"May Izzy help you?" asked a high pitched voice from behind them. They both startled, and turned to see a young house-elf beaming up at them.

"You frightened us," said Annabelle, her hand over her heart.

"You're not going to report us, are you?" Sirius asked, eyeing the young elf suspiciously.

"Oh noooo, Izzy would never tell on Lady Annabelle. Or her friends. No, never ever ever!"

Sirius snickered at Annabelle being addressed as _Lady_.

"Sorry, but I must ask," said Annabelle politely, trying not to giggle as well, "Why did you call me 'Lady'?"

"Why your grandfather, of course!" she said, her eyes wide. "The mighty Darien O'Neill was like royalty to house-elves. Still is, rest his eternal soul."

Annabelle's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. Why?"

"Oh, Lady Annabelle's grandfather was a great champion of elf rights," Izzy explained. "He was truly a man of honour,"

"Yeah," agreed Sirius. "He did support elf rights. Almost forgot about that." He noticed Annabelle seemed confused, and then he realised. "You didn't know." It was more a statement than a question.

"There is a lot I didn't know," Annabelle said sadly. She turned and sat down on a kitchen stool.

Sirius and the young elf exchanged empathetic glances. Thankfully, the elf spoke because Sirius was at a loss for words.

"Lady Annabelle needn't be sad. Izzy knows it must be difficult when she can no longer ask him…"

"No, it's fine. I'm pleased to hear he left an impression. So you won't mind if we sneak a wee snack?" Annabelle said, opening the ice box again. She wanted to change the subject before she ruined the fun they'd been having with tears.

"Of course Izzy doesn't mind, and Izzy won't tell a soul!"

"Thank you," said Annabelle.

"Of course, milady."

Sirius grinned again, cringing slightly.

"Please, Izzy, don't call me that. It isn't necessary. You've been so kind, we do appreciate it."

"My stomach appreciates it, too," said Sirius, trying to lighten the mood. Izzy smiled shyly and batted her eyelashes at him.

"If Lady Annabelle looks in the back, behind that ham, there is a Victoria sponge cake Izzy made. Please, try it? Please? Tell Izzy what you think?"

"Yes, please," said Annabelle. She pulled it out and Izzy cut them each a piece.

"Best cake I've ever had," said Sirius, after taking a bite.

"Yes, Izzy, you did a great job, thank you so much."

"Can Izzy get you anything else? Anything at all?"

"You don't have to lift a finger for us, really," said Annabelle. "I'm satisfied with this cake. Sirius?"

"No, thank you. This is perfect."

"Izzy is so glad you like it! Come back any time! But, don't get caught." She giggled, her long knobby fingers covering her mouth. "Izzy will leave you now. Izzy was just cleaning up a bit!" As she left the room, she continued talking. "Izzy likes to practise baking at night when everyone is asleep. Get back to your dorms safely now!"

"Cheers, Izzy," said Annabelle. "Good night."

After she was gone, Sirius said, "Isn't it annoying how house-elves always talk in third person? Izzy is glad, Izzy made cake, Izzy…"

"Shhh, what if she can still hear you? I agree, but I think it's rather sad. It's like they're so oppressed that they've lost all sense of self."

He was intrigued by her thoughts on the matter. For someone unaware of her grandfather's belief in house-elf rights, she sure sounded a lot like him. Sirius had never given much thought to house-elves, but she had a point. He thought about Kreacher, his family's house-elf, and how he had no mind of his own.

"You might be right about that. The house elf I grew up with shares a brain with my mum I think."

Annabelle was going to ask about his mum, but they heard a noise in another room off the kitchen. "Come on, let's go eat this down the hall before anyone else discovers us in here," said Sirius.

They strolled to the end of the corridor to a large circular alcove lit dimly by two torches and sat down on the floor.

"Izzy was adorable," said Annabelle.

"Yes, she was rather nice, wasn't she," agreed Sirius, not sure if he should bring up the conversation about her grandfather. He didn't know why she wouldn't have known, but he didn't want to pry and upset her by talking about it again. But she was subdued, her brow furrowed in thought, and he couldn't pretend nothing was wrong.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Oh, em, nothing much," she said as she stared at her plate.

"You can talk to me, you know. I mean, if you want to. It might help."

She continued to stare at her plate and push what was left of her cake around with her fork. After a moment, she said, "I don't want to spoil our fun."

Sirius put down his plate and turned so he was facing her.

"Come on, now. We're friends, right? And you trust me?"

She nodded.

"Give me some credit then. I know friendship isn't only about laughs. I'd hate for you to think I was a fair-weather friend, because I'm not. Just talk to me, Annie."

She looked at him, and the look of concern on his face surprised her. It seemed important to him that his friends trust him completely, and know that he wouldn't judge.

"Right. I'll talk." She pushed her hair behind her ears and blew out a breath. "It probably struck you as odd that the granddaughter of the great Darien O'Neill wasn't aware of his elf-rights activism, but that you and Izzy, both strangers to him, did."

"Somewhat, yes."

"Well, the thing is... I didn't actually know he was wizard until after he passed."

Annabelle went on to explain, part of her story anyway, about how her grandfather had kept it secret from her that he was a celebrated wizard, leading a magical life every time he walked out the door. Sure, he'd told her fairy tales and myths, even stories of wizards, but they were only pretend to her.

Sirius shook his head in amazement. "I can't imagine not knowing about magic."

"Neither can I, now. Anyway, he was close with Dumbledore. He was a mentor to my grandfather in his youth. They served on the Wizengamot for a few years together before he died. I guess that's why he left him in charge of my affairs in his will. After he passed, I'd been staying with a witch who was also their friend, Mrs. Pennifold. She witnessed me doing accidental magic on a couple occasions. She alerted Dumbledore and they filled me on the whole story just a few months before coming here."

"To find out a strange old wizard is now in charge of your life _and_ he's your headmaster?" Sirius gave a shudder. "Not sure I'd be keen on that bit of news. Why didn't your grandfather tell you he was a wizard?"

"According to Dumbledore, it was because my mum turned out to be a squib, and around the age we are now, she developed problems with drinking, drugs - all sorts of self-destructive behaviour… I guess she barely knew my muggle father, which is why I have her surname. Apparently, Granddad assumed that her having magical parents, but having no magic herself made her feel different and isolated, and it sent her over the edge. So, he hid it from me, like. Pretended magic didn't exist at all, just in case I was a squib as well, so I wouldn't end up like her."

"Your poor granddad," Sirius lamented. "It must have been difficult for him to hide he was a wizard while living under the same roof as you."

"Yeah, apparently it was…That's also why I lived with my granddad; because my mum took off... but I wouldn't be surprised if the entire wizarding world already knew that as well."

"I didn't know about it, if it's any consolation."

Annabelle smiled weakly. "Well, he never got the chance to tell me anything, because I didn't start showing signs of magic until after he was gone. He just wanted to protect me, to save me from the hurt he assumed my mum experienced, but I wish he hadn't."

She stopped talking as her voice caught, and Sirius suddenly felt awful for all the times he and his mates had called her _Dumbledore's Darling_ behind her back.

"He kept diaries for my sake though," she continued, "which he had wanted me to have only if I turned out to have magical abilities. I spent the summer before school reading them. I don't recall anything about elf rights, but it does sound like him. He spoke a lot about justice and equality in general," she explained. "So, as crazy as it was to have my world turned upside down, and to be told a 'strange old wizard' would now be the one in charge of my affairs, I was also excited, mainly because I would be part of my grandfather's world. It made me feel close to him again."

She grew silent, and Sirius knew not to ask any more questions, not that he didn't have a million. There would be time for that later. He could see she was fading, and they still had to get back to the tower without getting caught.

"Despite not knowing he was a wizard," he said, "I'm sure you knew him better than anyone. He was your granddad, and from the way you talk about him, it's clear you had a special bond with him. He obviously loved you very much."

She gave him a half-smile. "Thanks for listening. You were right - sharing helps."

"Any time, Annabelle. I mean it."

"Next time we do this, it will be your turn to fill me in on _your_ story," she said as they got up to return their plates to the kitchen.

"Now there's an awfully dull story."

"I somehow doubt that."

Again, they tried not to laugh as they tripped their way through the corridors, huddled close together under the cloak. Annabelle felt like nothing could go wrong with him around. His easy confidence and his flair for all things wizarding, along with the new trust between them, made her grateful for Lily's insistence on being James' lab partner. Sirius Black had become a friend, but why shouldn't he be? He was human, after all, and so was she.

Just before they returned to the common room, they heard Filch, and he was following them. They had to hide again in a corner, where they tried so hard to contain their laughter they thought they might burst. After he passed, they made it to the Gryffindor common room where they collapsed on the sofa in front of the fireplace in silent laughter, trying hard not to make a sound.

Eventually, they calmed down and rested their heads on the back of the sofa. The fire felt so warm and Annabelle knew her dorm room would be freezing. She was so tired she didn't know if her legs could carry her up the twisting stairs.

"I'm just going to sleep here," she said as her eyes started to close.

"It's not safe, Annabelle," Sirius replied sleepily, his eyes closing too. "Why not go to your room?"

"Lorelei won't let us turn up the stove. Says she sweats like a dragon all night, even though she doesn't cover with a blanket."

"You all freeze for her sake?"

"It's preferable for us to wear more clothes and blankets than for her to take off her layers if you understand what I mean."

Sirius smiled drowsily. "Understood."

"So I'm going to stay here... just for tonight."

"Then I am too," he said, already starting to drift off. "Not going to leave you alone down here."

Annabelle felt her head fall onto his shoulder and she immediately lifted it, but she couldn't hold it up any longer and gave in. She somehow knew he wouldn't mind. Soon after, Sirius's head nodded as well, and rested upon Annabelle's. And just like that, they were fast asleep.

 


	19. Double Trouble

Annabelle felt a tapping on her knee. She opened her eyes to see Lily, Alice, James, and Remus standing in front of her. They were still in their pyjamas, but the sun was starting to peek through the windows. Annabelle lifted her head, causing Sirius' head to loll and his eyes to open as well. He looked at the group in front of him, then at Annabelle, then back at the group.

"What time is it?" he asked, slightly disoriented.

"Time to get upstairs before you get caught sleeping in the common room," hissed James. "Or do you want to miss Hogsmeade again?"

Annabelle rubbed her eyes and quickly stood up. "We were so tired - we didn't mean to fall asleep. Do you really think the prefects would report us?"

"Probably not the prefects," said James, who knew from experience they didn't have the bollocks to tattle on members of the Quidditch team. "But anyone could come down here and see you. Anyone could tell on you."

Dominica crossed her mind. "Didn't think of that," she admitted.

"When I woke up and I saw you were gone, I panicked," said Lily. "I woke Alice and we were going to go straight to McGonagall."

"But when we saw you two sound asleep, we hated to wake you," said Alice, grinning. "So Lily woke James with the two-way mirror."

"We couldn't let them miss this," giggled Lily. Annabelle's cheeks burned, even though she'd done nothing illicit.

"So, how long were you standing there?" asked Sirius grumpily. He wished he'd never let Lily borrow his half of the two-way mirror.

"Not long," said James. "They may be laughing at you, but I don't think it's funny. Why in the bloody hell are you trying to get detention again?"

Annabelle huffed, crossing her arms over herself. "I don't see how falling asleep on the sofa could be an infraction."

"Students are supposed to be out of the common rooms and in their dorms by eleven o'clock," James replied. "You are still in your clothes. It's six in the morning!"

"Maybe you should take over as prefect, mate," said Sirius, his eyes narrowed. "And if we're in our clothes, who's to say we didn't get up early and come down to the common room to do work or something? Way to overreact."

"So what if McGonagall had come by? And saw you two sleeping on the sofa?"

Sirius sighed. "All right, James. You've got a point. But she didn't, so calm down."

"Why were you up all night?" asked Lily, genuinely curious.

James eyed the invisibility cloak on the sofa. "I see someone else has an invisibility cloak. What did you need it for?"

Annabelle grabbed the cloak and tucked it under her arm. She lowered her eyes, glancing at Sirius. Footsteps were heard on the stairs, and everyone froze, but relaxed when Peter stumbled into the room, still in the process of waking up. His hair was sticking up all over, and everyone snickered at the sight of him, despite being mid-argument.

"What did I miss?" he asked, scratching head. "Why are you all down here at this bloody hour? Did you sneak out without me?"

"Sirius and Annabelle here decided to stay up half the night roaming the castle and fell asleep on the sofa," James informed him.

"Actually, we went to the kitchen for a snack," said Sirius. "We were up late doing assignments, and we got hungry. It's no big deal. And I find it quite comical that you of all people are getting uppity over us sneaking out, considering you're usually the ring leader in such situations."

"He's got a point there," said Remus. "Why are you making an issue out of it?"

James was flustered. "Because… well… SHE'S not used to sneaking out. If she gave you away then they'd be on to us!"

Now Annabelle was ticked off. "On the contrary, I am not some numpty who would go cackling through the corridors at midnight. And it's my cloak and I can do with it as I please," she said, offended at the implication that it was her and her alone that would get them caught. "On that note, I'm going upstairs to get ready for the day." And she turned on her heels and stalked up the stairs.

Sirius glared at James. "Was this necessary? Are you going to tell me you haven't sneaked out with Lily before?" Now it was James' turn to go red in the face. Sirius went on, "But if there are rules about this sort of thing, be sure to fill me in on them, so I don't fall out of line again." With that, he stormed off to the boys' dorm.

"Come on, mate! I didn't mean…" James called, but Sirius was gone.

"James, don't you think you're overreacting just a touch?" asked Lily. James didn't respond, but sat down on the sofa and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. She wasn't fond of being ignored, so she decided to leave as well. "Right. I'm going upstairs before we end up the ones in trouble." And she and Alice followed Annabelle.

Remus stayed behind. "What is bothering you about this?"

"I don't know," James replied with a shrug. "They just seemed careless, staying down here all night, that's all. Like they don't care if they get caught. Maybe hanging around with _Dumbledore's Darling_ makes it less risky. I don't know."

"I don't think you are giving Sirius enough credit. It's obvious he really likes her."

"You think?" said James sarcastically. "The way they were all snuggled up would make anyone wonder what they were really up to last night."

"Prongs," said Remus, levelling with him, "I think you need to look at it for what it is. They're friends now, which from the way I see it, has only helped you with Lily. And they were up late doing homework, presumably Potions, because they are now lab partners, as you _well_ know. Then they did something we've all four of us done more times than I can count - sneaked out for a snack. When you think of how much worse we've done, it does make one question why you are getting upset over it."

"I don't know why. Maybe it's just how things are shifting... change and all that. The only time the four of us sneak out anymore is at the full moon. It's kind of depressing. But I need another hour sleep or I am not going to make it today." He rose from his seat, avoiding getting too deep. "And we have practice this afternoon."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Upstairs, Lily and Alice found Annabelle in the bathroom about to brush her teeth. "What was that all about?" asked Lily, eyes wide and a huge grin on her face.

"Here we go again," said Annabelle. "You are going to be rather disappointed in the answer."

"Tell us anyway," said Alice.

"It was exactly as he said it was. Stayed up late doing work, then we started talking and joking around. He suggested going to get a snack, and I didn't want to be a scaredy-cat, so I agreed to it. We stayed down there talking to a house elf, and after a little while, we came back."

"After a little while of _what_?" asked Lily.

"Oh Lily, how you read into things. A little talking, that's _all_. I am telling you, we talked. We laughed. We crashed on the sofa. Nothing else, _really_. How many times do I have to tell you he is just a friend?"

"I can dream, can't I?"

"You are going to be dreaming for a long time, because we really are just friends, and I am quite sure he feels the same way."

"We'll see about that," teased Alice.

Annabelle just shook her head and brushed her teeth, hoping they would drop the subject once and for all.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Later that day, Sirius and Remus were sitting out on the quad, soaking up the last few days of sunny weather before the bitter cold moved in and stayed until spring. Well, Remus was sitting. Sirius, who was tired from staying up late, was lying on his back with his eyes closed, his hands behind his head.

"Where's James?" asked Remus.

Sirius yawned. "One guess."

"Of course, with Lily. And Annabelle?"

"Library. And Alice is in the library as well, and Peter is playing chess with some knob head."

"A Slytherin then," laughed Remus.

"Yes. A fifth year chess genius; I think his name is Chauncy Bates. They play all the time."

"I've watched them play before. It's like watching paint dry. Did James have any more to say about you sneaking out with Annabelle?" He was hoping that the two had resolved their tiff.

"Yeah, he said he overreacted. _I'll say_. He's been awfully touchy lately."

"I think he's trying to adjust to how things are now. What with having a girlfriend, and his own mates finding other people to spend time with… I think you sneaking out with Annabelle made him a bit jealous. I mean, that used to be reserved for your mates."

"But Annabelle is a mate now, too."

"Don't get me wrong. In fact, I'm glad you and Annabelle are getting along so well. But I think he's a bit torn. Like he loves having a girlfriend, but he misses the way things used to be."

"Well, that's life. You can't have your cake and eat it too." Sirius smiled to himself, remembering Izzy the house-elf and her cake. "I'm not just going to sit around when he's with Lily, not doing anything worthwhile to avoid offending him. That's not fair."

"I think he knows that. He just has to get used to things, so don't take it personally."

"It's hard not to when his insistence on trading lab partners is the reason Annabelle and I are friends in the first place. But I see what you are saying. And honestly, I felt that way at first when he was off with Lily so often, like I'd been ditched for a bird, but I actually like Annabelle now. I'd choose her to be my lab partner, if that makes any sense."

"It makes perfect sense."

"James'll be all right," said Sirius. "He always is."

Remus caught sight of Dominica crossing the lawn and heading toward the castle.

"Who is that with Dominica?" he asked, squinting his eyes. "Is that Elsinore Collins?"

Sirius glanced in the direction in which Remus was looking. "That's an odd pair. Wonder what they're up to."

"Can't be good, whatever it is."

Sirius just shrugged and closed his eyes, uninterested in what Elsinore was doing with Dominica, though they did make a rather bizarre pair.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Lily and James were about to exit their favourite broom cupboard when they heard girls' voices approaching from down the hall somewhere.

She quickly shoved James back inside and pulled the door closed, leaving it open a crack so she could see when they had passed. The last thing she wanted was to be caught coming out of a broom cupboard with a boy, even if they had only been snogging. Until she was completely sure of James' commitment to her, she wasn't going to lay her reputation on the line.

"Lily, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Shhh, they're coming closer," she whispered nervously. The voices sounded like they were passing round the corner, past the broom cupboard.

She recognised Dominica's voice instantly. "So his parents won't be happy if they know?"

"His parents will go through the roof, believe me. I know these people well," a second, unfamiliar voice replied and then proceeded to cackle like a Bavarian Erkling. Lily carefully peeked out the tiny opening and her jaw dropped. Dominica was walking with Elsinore Collins.

"Why that little traitor!" Lily hissed after they'd passed.

"Who? What just happened Lil?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It's nothing to worry about though." She decided not to explain in detail, since she knew he wouldn't be interested in their drama with Dominica. "Come on, they're gone. I have to find Annabelle."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle was on the second level of the library, hard at work trying to get a storage room unlocked.

"Alohamora!" she exclaimed, but nothing happened except the shushing of some nearby students. "Bloody hell," she muttered to herself, "If there's doxies in here after I get this thing open I am quitting this job."

Meanwhile, after parting with James, Lily had asked the librarian where Annabelle might be then quickly made her way up to the second floor, grabbing Alice who had been studying downstairs and pulling her along with her. Annabelle, who was easily startled, shrieked when Lily tapped her on the shoulder. Again, the nearby students shushed her.

"Crikey, Annabelle, did you have to scream?" Lily asked.

"Sorry, it's just that I keep thinking this door is going to open to a room full of doxies. I've seen a few of them flying about this week and I'm convinced they're all hiding in there holding this bloody door shut."

Alice smiled and shook her head. "Annabelle, doxies aren't strong enough to hold a door shut. You may have unlocked it already, but it's still jammed. Have you tried kicking it?"

Annabelle gave the door a hard kick with the heel of her shoe, and sure enough, the door popped open.

"Now I feel daft," said Annabelle, wondering why she hadn't thought of that. Thankfully there were no doxies to be seen.

"Go inside, quick," Lily directed, then closed the door behind them.

"What happened?" asked Annabelle. "Did James propose or something?"

"Very funny, and no. Gosh no. The reason I brought you in here is because I thought you both might be interested in knowing that our old pal Dominica is now chumming around with Elsinore Collins. I saw them together today, chatting like old friends."

"No way!" replied Alice. "I guess it shouldn't surprise us, the way Dominica has been acting, but what could they possibly have in common? Did they say hello to you?"

"No, they didn't see me. I don't know what they have in common other than they are both jealous cows," responded Lily, who still hadn't forgotten Dominica's remark about James not knowing if he wanted her or not.

"Also, they both loathe our existence," said Annabelle.

Alice crossed her arms and shrugged. "It's unfortunate, but what can we do? We can't tell Dominica who she can be friends with."

"I know, but it just struck me as very peculiar," said Lily. "Dominica used to make fun of her. She used called her a 'naff slag.' How ironic, really."

"Dominica's really gone to the dogs, hasn't she," said Alice. "What were they doing when you saw them?"

"Talking about some boy whose parents would go mental if they knew. Knew what, I haven't a clue, but there is something vaguely sinister about the two of them conspiring."

Alice shrugged one shoulder. "As I said, there's nothing we can do to stop them, is there? We'll just have to be vigilant."

Annabelle couldn't help but feel uneasy about the new development. Elsinore never liked any of the Gryffindors, except for Sirius, but only because she was still under the impression he would realise the error of his ways and return to the dark side. What could she possibly want with Dominica? Maybe it had something to do with what happened with Malachi and his lemmings, considering Dominica had laughed when he called Annabelle a Mudblood. As usual, Lily was right, this new pairing did seem sinister. She wondered if she should confront Dominica once and for all, and try to sort things out with her so this hostility and her hanging out with the queen of the Slytherins could end. She couldn't possibly know what mess she was getting into with that crowd, but Annabelle felt the need to warn her, because despite the recent dissolution of their friendship, Dominica was lost.

 


	20. The Walls Crumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FYI- So... I made Regulus the older bro, mainly because Sirius never struck me as the big brother type. I think I originally thought Reg was older, until it became clear that he wasn't, but he was already set in my head as the big bro. His character doesn't play a big part in this fic anyway, and it doesn't really affect the story, so if you aren't afraid of a slight adjustment, come along with me for a fresh perspective!
> 
> Sensitive material in this chapter -abuse/addiction/neglect/abandonment.  
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Gryffindor's second Quidditch match of the season took place the following Saturday, this one against Ravenclaw. Sirius told Annabelle not to underestimate them. They were crafty, but they always played fair so Annabelle could relax a bit, just not too much. She had practised almost every day during the week leading up to it, and she felt more ready for the match than she had the last one. And though she was still nervous, at least she didn't vomit beforehand.

The match took three hours, but finally, after dangling from her broom due to a Bludger and a short but intense face-off with the Ravenclaw Seeker, Annabelle caught the Snitch. Relief flooded her. Losing to Slytherin was one thing, but if she'd lost again, she would be humiliated.

The boys were ecstatic. They hugged Annabelle and rubbed her head. She'd be lying if she said being surrounded by gorgeous boys wasn't satisfying. She knew many who would love to be in her position, so she didn't want to do them a disservice by downplaying it. And for the few who were jealous and seemed to hate her now, she didn't care at the moment.

Still, Dominica was different. Annabelle wasn't as close with her as she was with Lily and Alice, but still, she had been a friend and an ally since first year. Annabelle had always admired Dominica's bold, affable personality. She was a social butterfly and had more knowledge of boys than all the sixth year girls combined - knowledge she was always willing to share with Annabelle and her friends. It hurt her that Dominica could drop her after all those years of friendship. She continued to ignore the situation as best as she could, but it wasn't easy.

The following week passed with many old routines, but there were new ones as well. Meeting Sirius for homework every evening, morning Quidditch practices, and meals with her best friends and the boys became the new normal. Lily and James were going strong, Alice was meeting Frank in Hogsmeade at the weekend, and Sirius and Annabelle had avoided another detention, which meant they'd be joining their friends for the second excursion of the year.

Things were going so well, that Annabelle wasn't prepared for the paper that was passed out in Potions that Friday, even though it signalled an event that happened every year.

Professor Slughorn announced, "Esmeralda is going to pass out a notice to each row. Take one and pass them back, please. For any questions, see your prefects."

Annabelle took the papers as they were handed back to her, pulled one off the top of the stack, and passed the rest behind her.

"Well, this oughta be fun," Sirius muttered, turning his paper over on his desk. He sat back and crossed his arms as he always did when he was miffed about something.

Annabelle stared at it. The top of the paper read: **Family Day in two weeks! Your family is invited to spend the day at Hogwarts!**

Again. Every year she was reminded. Every year she put on a smile despite being one of the only kids that had no parents. Of course there was a handful of kids whose parents wouldn't be able to make it for legitimate reasons, but not Annabelle. She had no one to show up for her, and would have to be the gooseberry tagging along with Lily and her family again. Everyone would pity her, not just for being parentless, but because they knew who her grandfather was, and most had respected him. That meant a lot of stares and whispers of _"poor pet"_ everywhere she turned.

As she gazed at the word _family_ , everything that'd happened after her grandfather passed washed over her so powerfully she almost lost her breath. These were stories she had only shared with Lily and Alice, and of course Dumbledore and McGonagall, but only because Ms. Pennifold had informed them. Hearing the other kids talk about their families visiting and the activities planned made Annabelle's heart ache.

When Professor Slughorn dismissed class, Annabelle immediately crumpled her paper. "See you later," she mumbled to Sirius as she grabbed her belongings and hurried out of the classroom. Students in the back of the room stared at her as she stormed off, then at Sirius as he picked up his books and followed after her.

It didn't take him long to catch up, climbing the stairs two at a time and falling in step beside her. She was tense, her eyes brimming with tears. He gently took her by the arm and steered her out into the courtyard to avoid the swarms of students filling the corridors, and they continued in the direction of the lake.

Once they were away from the castle, Sirius said, "Talk to me."

She stopped walking and crossed her arms over herself, choking back tears. Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, she looked toward the water, trying with all her might to compose herself.

"Annabelle..."

He held out a hand and after a fleeting hesitation, she took it. He led her to some rocks by the water and they sat down, but Annabelle had no plans to tell him about her mother.

"I'm fine, really. You can go to lunch. I'm not going to make a swim for it or anything."

He didn't laugh. "Forget lunch. You're clearly not fine. Family Day doesn't usually get people this upset."

She blew out a breath as the wind licked at her damp cheeks. "It just brings up a lot memories for me. Things I'd rather forget."

"Like what?"

"Just...things. Things I'd rather not say because I don't want pity. I _hate_ pity."

"That's something else we have in common, then. But honestly, you're making me a bit nervous. What happened?"

"Eh, it's more pathetic than anything. It's so pathetic I'm embarrassed to talk about it. I'm sorry. I just can't."

As her friend, Sirius felt she should be able to tell him something that affected her so deeply. But like him, she was guarded, so he decided to do the thing he dreaded. He was going to tell her about his own demented family. Not all of it, but enough that she might feel comfortable sharing in return. He hated to talk about them, probably as much as she hated to tell her own story, but it wasn't fair to expect her to trust him with everything if he refused to say a word about himself.

"All right," he said. "You've already told me a bit about your childhood, but I've been rather quiet about mine."

Annabelle nodded. "That's an understatement."

"So you know, mine wasn't a bed of roses either. If you're interested, I have a story for you."

" _Of course_ I'm interested."

"Of course." He took a deep breath and began. "I don't know if you're aware of this but my parents never attend family day either."

"It never registered, but I reckon I don't recall seeing you with your parents."

"And that's because they were pretty upset when I was sorted into Gryffindor. When I told you my whole family had been sorted into Slytherin, it was the truth. I didn't want to be in Slytherin, though. I just thought it was inevitable, and so did my parents. When it didn't happen, they were furious. Our relationship was strained to start with, but this sent them straight over the edge."

Annabelle tried to imagine a pair of stuffy, posh wizards getting upset over something so ridiculous.

"They set up a meeting with Dumbledore, and demanded I be put into Slytherin instantly. He refused, so they made him take out the Sorting Hat again. When he stepped away to get it, my parents berated me, telling me I had better not be up to something. I swear, with the grip my father had on my wrist I thought he was trying to squeeze the Gryffindor out of me."

He gave a half-hearted chuckle, but Annabelle frowned.

"The hat said Gryffindor before it was even fully on my head. Again, a second time. And again, a third time. Finally, Dumbledore told them I would stay in Gryffindor and that was final. They threatened to take me out of Hogwarts and put me in Durmstrang, but Dumbledore informed them that Durmstrang wasn't accepting any more foreign students for the year, nor were the vast majority of wizarding schools at that point. It was either let me stay or take me home and hire back my old tutor. My mum couldn't stand the thought of having me around all day long, so she gave up and they left, threatening to ruin Dumbledore's career and all that. No goodbye to me, nothing. Just anger. I was so embarrassed."

Annabelle remembered him at age eleven. Wild and irreverent, she hadn't liked him one bit, but imagining that same young boy being subjected to his parents' hostility made her hurt for him.

"How awful… What did Dumbledore say about it?

"You know Dumbledore. He said something like, 'Chin up, lad, it will get better from here.' I didn't believe him, but he was right, as usual."

"And your parents? Did they ever apologise or at least get over it?"

"Apologise? My parents? Ha. No, they didn't and they never got over it. But they did come to Family Day that year. My brother Regulus was in his seventh year and he didn't care one way or the other if they showed up. I thought for sure they had come for me, to patch things over and to make it up to me. I was even a tiny bit eager to see them, because I had envisioned it all in my head. After recognising it wasn't my fault and that I was still their son no matter what house I was placed in, they would ask my forgiveness. What a joke." He paused and shook his head, smiling humourlessly at himself. "When they arrived, they greeted Regulus, but they ignored me. They didn't even look at me. It was like I wasn't there."

"How cruel," said Annabelle. "You were only a child."

"That's just the beginning," he continued. "I followed them about all day like a puppy. They didn't say a word to me. Reg thought it was hilarious. Kept smirking at me, but didn't dare speak to me in front of them. During the trip into Hogsmeade, they sipped their tea, but didn't offer me any. Professor Slughorn came over to them and told them how good I was at Potions. They smiled and thanked him, but when he walked away, they continued to ignore me. I decided to end the façade, and got up to leave, but my father grabbed my arm again with such force I thought he might break it, and spoke his first words to me all day. He said I wasn't to embarrass them, or else."

"Or else what?"

"Good question, but at that age in a new school, in front of new classmates, I wasn't about to find out. When we got back to the castle, I managed to lose them while they were watching Regulus play chess. And at dinner, they sat at the Slytherin table with my brother. I sat at Gryffindor with James and his parents who were disgusted at my parents' behaviour. James' mum wanted to say something to them and to Dumbledore, but I begged her not to. I didn't want any more trouble."

Annabelle was floored. She had figured out over the past few weeks that his parents were not the nicest people, but this was beyond cruel.

"Sirius, I don't even know what to say. Do you think Dumbledore knew how they'd treated you that day?"

"I think he knew some of it. I knew he felt sorry for me and I _hated_ that feeling."

"Did they ever tell you why they were ignoring you?"

"No. I mean, I sort of knew, but Regulus confirmed it for me. He told me it was my penchant for, you know… non-purebloods… but he said it a bit differently…"

"Mudbloods," said Annabelle.

Sirius cringed. "Yes, that's the word he used… and they were struggling with my betrayal as they call it - I was apparently disgracing them by being in Gryffindor. They were convinced I somehow charmed the Sorting Hat or that Dumbledore had, just to insult them. But I still had to go home at Christmas, and they mostly yelled at me and belittled me at every turn. So at least the silent treatment stopped."

He chuckled wryly, but Annabelle couldn't laugh. Her stomach was in knots.

"And you have to go home every school break?"

"First year I did, but after first year, I only went home for Christmas and the first few weeks of summer. I would spend the rest of summer and most Easters with James and his parents. They've been a blessing. They wanted me to come for Christmas as well, but my parents won't hear of it. Summers are different, since they're longer and my parents are glad to be rid of me. But Christmas break is long enough for them to condemn me to their hearts' content without growing weary of my existence. And what would the rest of the family and their elitist friends say when they found out Orion and Walburga's son went elsewhere for Christmas, specifically to the home of known blood traitors like the Potters? People would talk, and they can't have that."

Annabelle shook her head in disbelief. "And it was like this your whole life?"

"Not exactly. They've been worse the last few years, ever since that dark wizard Voldemort has been getting more attention. They clearly find his views appealing instead of terrifying like normal people – more proof of their utter lack of sense. But they want it known they're loyal to the cause, lest they be called blood traitors themselves."

Annabelle shuddered. Voldemort's political activity had appeared in the Daily Prophet occasionally. Apparently he was a mad wizard with plans to restore the Wizarding World to its former glory, whatever that meant. Her grandfather had died fighting a wizard like him, so any time she heard news of this maniac she couldn't suppress her anxiety. To think, Sirius' parents agreed with his warped ideology.

"I was never close with my parents," he went on, finding it difficult to stop now that he'd started. She was looking at him with such concern, and though he hated to upset her, he liked the feeling he got from her – the feeling that she cared about him. "My brother and I were kind of like trophies for them. They showed us off when people were about, but behind closed doors we were nuisances to be cast aside. Regulus dealt with it by trying like crazy to please them, and went along with everything they believed in. Can't blame him really, I mean, he just wanted their love. As I got older, I had the opposite reaction. I grew to loathe everything they loved, everything they stood for… not to anger them necessarily, but because I find their views despicable."

"Clearly you are nothing like them," said Annabelle.

"Sometimes I wonder about that though. I definitely have my dark moments. Picking on Snape, playing some pretty nasty pranks on other kids…" he trailed off.

"Sirius, you were a child. Playing childish pranks does not make one a dark wizard. Besides, nobody's perfect. Don't get me wrong - you are pretty close to it."

The corner of Sirius' mouth turned up in a smile. "Yeah, right."

"No, really. Your parents don't see how truly lucky they are. Here they have a son who is intelligent, athletic, respected, and rather kind, I must admit now that I know you better, and they shun you." Sirius shifted uncomfortably at the stream of compliments, but she continued. "It's absurd. You are every parent's dream. So what if you've done some questionable things. Who hasn't? And Snape is a menace. It's not like you were picking on some little innocent. He instigated with you, as well."

"True, but we were rather harsh. With him, it was that he went out of his way to stalk us, trying to get us in trouble because James fancied the one girl he happened to be obsessed with. And now, he looks down on anyone of mixed blood, but he's not a pure-blood wizard and neither is Lily. It's like he hates himself."

"Maybe he does. He's certainly misguided, that's for sure."

"He was so obsessed with her he couldn't leave her and James alone. But then he calls her Mudblood?"

"He didn't want me to be friends with her, either" said Annabelle. "I tried to be friendly with him, but he wanted nothing to do with me. He wanted to keep her for himself. I wonder how he was planning on getting around her blood status…"

Sirius shook his head in disgust. "Well, he always hated that I was a Black but didn't play the part. Like he thought I was committing some crime against the Wizarding race or something."

"I bet he wishes he could trade places with you. He'd probably kill to be a Black."

"I would gladly trade places with him, and I'm sure my parents would appreciate the switch as well, but I bet he'd be begging to switch back once he felt the back of my mum's hand across his face. Her emerald ring leaves a mark."

Annabelle stared at Sirius. "Your mum hits you?"

"She's slapped us both across the face for being cheeky, but my father, he's the one with the rage issues. When he was angry, we felt it. Forget wands, if he wanted to throw you against a wall, it was going to be with his own two hands, if you know what I mean."

Annabelle was horrified. He had been through more than she could have imagined.

"You can't go home for Christmas. You just can't."

When Sirius saw the fear in her eyes, he knew he'd revealed too much. She didn't need to know the extent of the abuse. She couldn't know. He would have to sugarcoat it a bit.

"Don't worry, Annie. It doesn't happen as often anymore. Besides, if he wants to fight me, this time I plan to fight back," he said, determination in his voice. "I'm sixteen now. I don't have to stay. I can leave for good."

"Go home with James… or I have an idea! Stay here! Dumbledore will let you."

"I would love nothing more than to stay here, but I have to go home. They've demanded I be there. I think they want to make one last effort to bring me back to the fold, so to speak. They've been getting information on my comings and goings from that dead from the neck up Malachi and a few others. I have to face them. I have to show them they can't destroy me."

Annabelle had a horrifying thought. "Am I a part of the comings and goings being reported?" They had been spending so much time together that anyone might misconstrue things.

"Most likely, but don't take it to heart. You're not my first mixed-blood friend. Remus has been pissing them off for years," he said with a laugh.

"I don't want to make things worse for you."

" _I_ choose who I am friends with, not them," he said, his jaw clenched. "Let me handle it. I told you, I am of the age where I can leave."

"You won't leave Hogwarts, will you?"

"I doubt it. Dumbledore would give me work to help pay for books and things. If not, I'll find something. My cousin Andy would let me crash with her for a while – she already got herself disowned by marrying a muggleborn. But, whatever happens, I'll keep in touch. We only have one year left after this one, so it's not like I'd be missing much."

Annabelle couldn't bear the thought of losing him already. She spent as much time with him as she did with Lily, if not more now that Lily was always with James. She would be so lonely without him. And to think of him on his own, trying to get by at his age; it broke her heart.

"But what will you do?"

"Let's cross that bridge if we come to it, all right? December is a long way off. And now that I've sufficiently upset you with stories about my family, it's your turn. Spill the beans, Annabelle."

"But my story is well into the past. Yours is still unfolding and it seems like nothing good can come of it, except you not going back there. Ever."

"That's the plan, yeah? Really, I'll be fine. I can handle them now, much better than when I was eleven. Trust me."

"I do trust you, it's them-" her voice caught.

He took her hand and squeezed it. "Come on, it's going to be okay. Maybe I shouldn't have told you. Now you're going be turning this over in that pretty head of yours until January. But do me a favour and don't tell anyone about any of this. James, Remus, and Peter already know, but no one else needs to find out."

_Pretty._ He'd called her _pretty._ Her cheeks were instantly on fire, but flattery wouldn't change the fact that she was worried about him. She knew if she continued harping on it he wouldn't tell her anything ever again, so she said, "I'm glad you told me. And I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you. Now, out with it. I'm tired of hearing about myself." He picked up a stone and tossed it into the water.

Annabelle sighed. "I guess fair is fair, right?"

"Right."

"Okay," she said, and swallowed hard. "Just before my tenth birthday and before my granddad died, my mum came back round. She had sworn she was trying to get clean. She had moved back to town with her new boyfriend and his kids, all in their teens, and wanted me to come live with her in their tiny flat. I had no desire to go, and my granddad wasn't about to let it happen anyway. A few weeks later, my granddad was dead. I told you I'd gone to stay with Mrs. Pennifold, but only for a short time because my mum insisted I come live with her and threatened to go to court to get her way. Dumbledore said he couldn't do much to fight the muggle courts outside of doing something drastic, so he gave my mum the benefit of the doubt."

Annabelle paused, gathering the strength to continue, and Sirius said sadly, "So you had to go live with her."

Annabelle nodded. "I was a mess. Not only had I lost the person I loved most in the world, but I was forced to live in a filthy place with strangers. All she wanted me for was to do the washing up, pick up after everyone else, and cook, something I didn't even know how to do. But she was so strung out most of the time, or off doing Merlin knows what to get money for drugs, she didn't notice there was rarely food in the house to cook. Her boyfriend spent most of the time passed out in their bedroom, and his kids were out til all hours of the night. When they were there, they would torment me. Make messes on purpose, call me names... once the oldest girl burned the ends of my hair with a lighter for laughs-" She noticed the confusion on Sirius' face. "Do you know what a lighter is?"

He gave her a sheepish look. "No."

"It's a muggle device that makes a small flame. They use them to light cigarettes mostly.

"Oh, right, I think I know what you mean. So she burned your hair?"

"A bit."

His eyes narrowed. "Fucking lunatic."

"She was. Thankfully she wasn't around much. I used to go to school hungry and dirty, because the water had been shut off on several occasions. Child welfare paid a visit, but nothing changed. Fortunately for me, Mrs. Pennifold lived nearby and she would check on me from time to time. Turns out she was doing it for Dumbledore."

"He didn't get you out of there immediately?" Sirius demanded. "Why?"

"He didn't know the extent of the neglect going on, and to this day he feels bad about it. Like I said, he had no right to me then, since my granddad's will wasn't recognised by the muggle authorities once my mum returned. But I had Mrs. Pennifold. She'd often wait outside the flat for me to come home from school and whisk me away to her house to feed me."

"Merlin, Annabelle! Why didn't you just stay there? Would your mum have even noticed you were gone?"

"I did start spending more time there actually, and that was where I started showing signs of magic. She saw me make milk bottle to explode when I thought I saw a mouse running behind it. She also caught me absent-mindedly making peas move round my plate without touching them with the fork. Little things, but she knew."

"Did she tell you what you were?"

"Not straight away. Not until I caught her cooking one day using magic. I had let myself in, because she hadn't heard me knocking. She had utensils flying everywhere. I screamed and they all crashed to the floor. She told me it was a parlour trick, but I wasn't so sure. The truth came out soon after, because the following week, I'd come home from school to find my mum's flat abandoned. They'd left. Moved away."

Now it was Sirius' turn to be horrified. "They moved out and left you behind? What did you do?"

"What could I do? I just went from room to room, calling for them. Looking in cupboards, under the beds they'd left behind. I thought maybe it was a mean prank. But they were gone. No note, nothing. I convinced myself they'd forgotten me and would return once they realised it, so I sat on the front steps and waited until the sun went down. Of course, I was terrified that if they didn't come back I'd be put in foster care, but Dumbledore worked some magic so that didn't happen.

"She never came back then, did she?"

"No. Never heard from her again."

"You must have been terrified."

A lump formed in her throat, and she avoided looking at him. "I just wanted my grandfather back. His death threw my life into absolute chaos, and I missed him so much. Knowing I'd be going to the same school he went to provided some comfort. Of course, once I arrived here, everything changed. It was all so new and fascinating, and I felt so special to be like him. So… what my mum did was awful, but I reckon things could be worse. I just wish my Grandfather could be here."

She choked up again, and Sirius scooted closer and put his arm around her.

After a shaky breath, she said, "I would have been overjoyed for my granddad to see my life here, to meet my friends, to see me playing Quidditch…"

She couldn't hold in her tears anymore. Sirius pulled her into a tight hug.

"I just miss him so much," she cried into his shoulder.

"He'd be so proud of you. That's for sure."

Annabelle pulled back to wipe her eyes. "He would absolutely adore you. I just know it."

"You don't think he'd mind you associating with a member of the Black Family?"

"No. He would have been thrilled that I surrounded myself with such good people, you included."

"It would have been a great honour to meet him," said Sirius. "You're a lot like him, I think. And from the way you talk about him, it appears he was more than just a world-renowned wizard and champion for justice, but a good man who loved his granddaughter."

"He was, and he did." She sighed wistfully. "And there you have it. That's my story, and that's why I was so upset. Family Day reminds me of so many painful things, and it just gets tiresome, latching on to Lily's family, even though they're so kind."

Sirius smiled a little. "What a pair, we are. I guess we'll have to stick close together that day, won't we?"

"I like that idea," said Annabelle as they rose and started back to the castle. "But what about James' parents?"

"They'll understand. Besides, I'm thinking they'll be more preoccupied with meeting Lily's parents for the first time than wondering where I'm off to."

Annabelle laughed. "You might be right about that."

"And we have a match against Hufflepuff that day, so you'll have something else to worry about besides Family Day."

"Me? Worry?"

He laughed, giving her back a rub as he did. Merlin, why did she have to like it so much when he touched her? He was just being friendly, for goodness' sake.

"Do you think Professor McGonagall noticed we weren't at lunch?" she asked, hoping her face hadn't gone too red.

"Probably, but, who cares if she did. We'll think of something to tell her."

"If we hurry we can still make it."

As they were heading into the Great Hall, they heard familiar footsteps deliberately approaching from behind. As they turned round, Professor McGonagall's voice rang out.

"Black and O'Neill! Stop right there."

 


	21. Falling Slowly

"Shite," Sirius muttered under his breath as Professor McGonagall approached the pair.

"Care to explain your whereabouts?" she demanded.

They glanced at each other, unsure what to say in their defence. Annabelle didn't want McGonagall to know how upset the prospect of Family Day had made her for fear she'd have to talk about it all over again. She also didn't want to worry the woman needlessly.

"I was feeling ill," she blurted out, "and I needed some fresh air."

"Right," said Sirius with an emphatic nod, "and I went to make sure she was okay."

McGonagall pursed her lips and stared down her nose at Annabelle. "If you had taken ill, why didn't you see Madam Pomfrey?"

"I didn't want to be a bother."

"But you are well now, I take it?"

"The fresh air did wonders."

"She's as good as new, Professor," Sirius said, flashing a confident smile.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes. "One doesn't have to be skilled in Legilimency to know you are telling tales. Ten points from Gryffindor and instead of going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, your Saturday will be spent dusting the tops of bookshelves in the library."

"But we missed it last time," Sirius protested.

"And whose fault was that?"

"Ours," they both mumbled.

"Wandering the grounds without permission during academic hours is not tolerated here and you both know this. I will see you at the library tomorrow after lunch. Bring study materials for when you are finished. Now _again_ , I remind you to be on your best behaviour." She sent Annabelle a dubious look. "Good day, Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill."

"Great," muttered Sirius. "James'll throw another wobbly over this."

"It's my fault. Let me tell her the truth… she might reconsider."

Annabelle started to go after her but Sirius caught her arm.

"No, Annabelle. You don't have to do that. It was hard enough for you to talk about it once today. She doesn't have to know everything."

"What must she think we were up to?"

Sirius grinned devilishly but said nothing. Annabelle was bewildered for a moment, but then it dawned on her what he was implying.

"Oh. You think? No… Really?"

"Isn't that what everyone's going to think? Everyone has their minds in the gutter around here," he teased, amused by the idea. "Don't worry, we'll set them straight."

"But McGonagall."

"Her mind is obviously in the gutter, as well. You can tell her the truth if you want, but I much prefer her to think that I'm leading you astray."

He sent her a wink as they started towards their table, and she giggled at the thought of Professor McGonagall with her mind in the gutter. "I guess that explains her insane reaction to us missing part of lunch."

"What are you two smiling about?" provoked Johnny B. as they approached the table.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "And why are you arriving so late to lunch? Hmm?"

"Bad news, everyone," Sirius announced to the group. James narrowed his eyes, already anticipating what Sirius was about to say. Annabelle sat down and braced herself for the reaction.

"We won't be joining you lot in Hogsmeade tomorrow-"

"Again?" James interrupted. "Bloody hell, what did the two of you get up to now? Wait, don't answer that… Not sure I want to know."

"What is with the dirty minds round here?" Sirius teased, not wanting an argument. "If you give me a chance, I will tell you. Annie was feeling ill in Potions, you know, the fumes and all, and needed some fresh air. I went along to make sure she was all right. Of course, McGonagall intercepted us at the entrance. And you know she's detention-crazy, so there you have it."

When he was done explaining, he sat down like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

James tossed what was left of his sandwich onto his plate. "Unbelievable."

"We didn't get caught on purpose. We were about to think up an excuse but she swooped down before we got the chance."

"Sorry, James," said Annabelle. "It never crossed our minds we'd get Hogsmeade taken away again."

"Are you sure about that?" James sneered.

Sirius squinted his eyes at James in irritation, and Remus, sensing another argument brewing, said, "Are you suggesting they intentionally tried to get detention? Who is actually that daft?"

"You're right, you're right," James replied with a wave of his hand, trying very hard not to overreact again. "It's fine. Hogsmeade's dull anyway, so you won't be missing much."

Lily's face fell, since James had spent most of the time with _her_ on their previous trip there. Neither James nor Lily said much for the rest of the meal.

"How many points did she take?" asked Alice.

"Ten," said Annabelle meekly. "Sorry."

"Oh who cares!" Johnny B. exclaimed. "Ten points is nothing. Now what were you two _really_ doing outside?" Alice gave him her usual kick under the table.

Sirius and Annabelle smiled and said no more on the subject. As much as they wanted to be with their friends on Saturday, having detention together didn't strike them as all that miserable.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The next morning was another glorious, sunny day, and the frost coating the grass sparkled in the light. The Gryffindor Quidditch team had to practise at seven AM to be off the pitch in time for the morning match between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. After the match, lunch was served and when it was through, Sirius and Annabelle waved goodbye as their friends headed to Hogsmeade without them again.

"Another beautiful day for a detention," Sirius said, his hands shoved in his pockets and a levity in his stride as they walked to the library together.

"Are you mad in the head?" asked Annabelle, trying not to laugh.

"Perhaps."

They broke into smiles, but their cheer fizzled when they stepped inside the library. McGonagall was waiting for them.

"Wands," she ordered. They handed them over. "Thank you," she replied curtly and supplied them each with a feather duster. "Now. The two of you will be dusting the top of every shelf on the first and second levels. But since I don't think I can trust you together, Miss O'Neill, you will take the first level, and Mr. Black, you will take the second. When you are finished, you may use the time for assignments. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," they chanted.

"Since today is Madam Wigworthy's day off, the library will be closed to students for the afternoon. I am leaving Hagrid in charge of your progress. He will be in shortly to check on you. There is to be no lollygagging around in here, are we clear?"

Again, they replied, "Yes, Professor." She eyed them sternly for a moment before turning and hurrying out of the room to gather the students for their trip.

Once they were sure she was gone, Sirius got to work with the replacement wand while Annabelle stood guard at the door. He managed to get half the second level done when Annabelle saw Hagrid coming. Climbing up her ladder, she alerted Sirius and pretended to be hard at work. When she peeked at him, he winked mischievously at her from his ladder, feather duster in hand.

"All right you two, workin' hard are yeh?" Hagrid bellowed as he entered the library.

"Sure we are," replied Annabelle.

"Hello, Hagrid," Sirius called from above.

"What's got into the two of yeh? Don't yeh like Hogsmeade no more? Goodness, I'm beginning to think yeh like cleanin' the muggle way more than anythin'."

Annabelle didn't like being considered a troublemaker by her favourite faculty members. Sirius was used to it, and he didn't care anyway, but she did.

"No, Hagrid," she said. "This was a misunderstanding, that's all. It won't happen again."

"Good to know. I'm just goin' to sit here fer a moment and read the Prophet." He pulled out a chair and made himself comfortable at a study table. "It's nice to have some peace an' quiet. Carry on."

He was staying? Annabelle looked up again at Sirius who gave her sullen shake of the head and went to work, actually dusting. After a half hour, Annabelle's arm started to hurt. She eyed Hagrid from her perch and saw he was dozing off. At this rate, he would never leave. Sirius waved his feather duster about to get her attention and indicated with hand gestures that he wanted her to cough to wake him up.

"A-HEM!" Annabelle coughed, and Hagrid opened his eyes. "Wow, so much dust!" she exclaimed. "It's getting in my lungs." She cleared her throat dramatically. When she looked up at Sirius, she saw that he had stopped dusting and was turned away from her, leaning against his ladder. She could tell by his shaking shoulders that he was laughing, hoping to contain it. Of course, knowing he was laughing made her laugh, and she looked down at the floor below, trying to breathe through it before Hagrid heard her.

"Oh dear," Hagrid said as he stood up. "All this dust can't be good fer yeh. Are ye all right up there, Sirius?"

"Yep. Just a bit of dust in my eyes I think." He was rubbing his eyes.

"Then I think a break is in order. Go on, then. Get some air. I'm gonna head out fer a bit. Will check up on the two of yeh later. I mean it, now. Go on and get outta here."

"Thanks, Hagrid," said Annabelle.

"See you later," Sirius called. Hagrid gave a wave as he exited.

"Merlin, I thought he'd never leave!" Sirius exclaimed as he climbed down from his ladder. "And you with the dust in your lungs! Brilliant idea, but I wasn't expecting that."

Once he was on the first level, he peeked out the door to make sure no one else was coming.

"Let's charm the rest now. He didn't inspect our actual progress, so I doubt he will when he returns. And I'm betting he won't be back for quite a while. We do it now, take an extra-long break, then come back here and wait for him. When he gets back, we tell him we're done. I really don't think he's interested in policing us."

"You always make the devious seem so rational."

He wagged his eyebrows at her. "It's a gift."

Once they were done they headed outside to the pitch. During practices, the team had been working with Annabelle on advanced techniques for catching the Snitch. She grew braver every day, so Sirius thought it was time to teach her how to get to her feet on her broom.

"You mean you want to me to use it like a surf board?" she asked, alarmed at the thought.

"What in the bloody hell is a surfboard, Annie?"

She wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but she tried to describe it to him. "It's a muggle device that they use to ride waves, like balance on top of…" He cocked his head to the side, his brows furrowed deeply, but she didn't know how else to put it. "They use to glide on the water, like… oh nevermind."

He grinned. "I'm just teasing you. I do know some things about muggles."

Annabelle tried to glare at him, but it wasn't as easy as it used to be.

"Come on, you can do better than that, I've seen it many times," he teased, glaring back at her.

She couldn't hold the glare any longer and smiled despite her best efforts not to. "All right, enough mucking about. Let's do this."

"That's the right attitude. Come on then…" And they proceeded to work on the dangerous technique for a half hour. When Annabelle had one too many slips, Sirius convinced her they'd been outside long enough, and they returned to the library.

When they opened the door, a doxy plunged down at them and Annabelle screamed. Sirius cracked up laughing, presumably at Annabelle's reaction, but Annabelle could see nothing funny about the situation. Thankfully it disappeared somewhere in the curtains at the back of the room.

"Might as well get our assignments out of the way," she suggested.

"I reckon we should," he said.

They had managed to get most of their work done, except for their reading assignment, when Hagrid came back.

"Jus' sittin' about, I see. Yeh must be finished then. Am I right?"

"Yes, Hagrid. The bookshelves are dusted," said Annabelle.

"Well then, do yeh have any assignments to work on?"

"We're almost done with them, but there's doxies in here, and one just tried to bite me."

"And it's awfully cold in here," added Sirius for good measure.

"Those pesky things. They don't mean no harm though, Annabelle. They jus' get frightened when disturbed, is all. But since I can't have yeh feeling threatened by them, and I don't want yeh to freeze yerselves, why don't you go back to yer dormitories and get yer assignments done. I'll close up here."

They thanked Hagrid and went on their merry way.

"Wow, Annabelle, I was impressed by that show of deviousness. Looks like Potions isn't the only thing I'm good at teaching you."

"Yes, it was mildly devious, but it wasn't a lie. There are doxies in there. And no matter how much he sympathizes with them, I'd rather not be there when one tries to take my face off. And it _was_ really cold, so there."

Sirius shuddered. "I am trying to picture a doxy big enough to take your face off."

There was a scattering of younger students in the Common Room, talking and being silly, but they froze when Sirius and Annabelle entered.

"What are you all doing in here?" Sirius asked them. "Put on your cloaks and get outside while the weather is nice. Practise flying. Do something constructive. Go on. I don't want to see you until after dinner."

"Yes, Sirius," they said as they scurried off. "See you later, Sirius."

Annabelle shook her head in astonishment as they shuffled out of the room, Sirius giving each one of them a high five before they disappeared through the portrait hole.

"That's done," he said.

Annabelle was still amazed. "You'd think Merlin himself just walked in the way they reacted to you."

"Didn't you look up to the older students when you were their age? It's nothing, really."

"Yes, I did look up to them, but I don't think I worshipped them."

"I wasn't too harsh with them, was I?"

"No, but you were a bit bossy," she teased.

The corners of his mouth turned up faintly as his gaze rested on her about a second longer than what was considered appropriate between friends. Something swelled in her chest and her cheeks went hot, and they looked away from each other at the same time.

Since they had the room to themselves, they stretched out on the floor in front of the fire facing each other, their arms propped up on throw cushions, books in hand. Back and forth they went, taking turns reading aloud. Annabelle loved when it was his turn to read. He made a great effort to keep it interesting and she couldn't help but peek over the top of her book to watch his facial expressions as he played all the parts. She was once again reminded of why girls obsessed over him. He was absolutely striking with his dark hair falling around his face and his stormy eyes reflecting the firelight. It was getting harder for Annabelle to concentrate on the book with his face so close to hers.

"Your turn," he said as he rolled over onto his back to get comfortable. He flipped his hair out from under his head and a strand of it fell across her pinky finger. All rational thought left her.

"Em, I lost my place."

"Wake up," he said. "It's getting good. Page 178, second paragraph."

"I am awake," she assured him.

She took her last turn, and they were finished with the assignment. Her elbows were getting sore, so she rolled onto her back as well. She was starting to feel drowsy. Sirius turned back over, pushed his pillow over so it was next to hers, and propped himself up on his arms again.

"Annie, wake up," he said softly.

She opened her eyes, then closed them again. "Just let me close my eyes for five minutes."

He grinned. "Everyone will be back soon. It's almost dinner."

She looked at him with sleepy eyes one more time, but quickly gave in to the pull of her exhaustion. "Quidditch," she whispered as she fell asleep, and just like that, she was out like a light.

Sirius smiled at her response. Somehow he knew what she meant. Quidditch practice at seven in the morning, followed by dusting shelves had worn them both out. He realised he was staring at her, but he couldn't help it. Her cheeks were rosy from the warmth of the fire, her eyelashes fluttering occasionally, her lips parted the tiniest sliver, and for a moment he thought she resembled a painting.

As he watched her, he became aware of an unfamiliar feeling in his chest he had no word for; the closest he could think of was hurt, except it didn't hurt at all, in fact, he liked it. A strand of hair had come loose from her hair slide and he gently brushed it back from her face with his fingers. Then, he shoved his arms under his pillow and rested his head. Every time he tried to look away, his gaze landed on her again.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he closed his eyes, forcing them to stay shut until he finally drifted off as well.

 


	22. Close Your Eyes

 

Annabelle heard their voices before she opened her eyes.

"Again?" James demanded. "What do they have against beds?"

"Are they alive?" whispered Peter.

"They're sleeping, thicko." James admonished. "Can't you see them breathing?"

"If they were any closer they'd be kissing," Johnny B. observed cheekily.

Annabelle opened her eyes to see Sirius' upside down face only centimetres from hers, his eyes closed. She sat straight up, looked at her friends and said, "Oh my goodness, what time is it?"

Sirius woke at the sound of her voice and sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"Dinnertime," said Remus. "Hagrid told us he sent you here because the library was cold and a doxy tried to attack you."

Sirius found this amusing. "It did not try to attack her. It flew past us." Then to James, he said, "Go ahead with your lecture, you know you have something you want to say." He stood up and offered Annabelle a hand, which she promptly took. When she was on her feet, she thanked him quietly.

"Nope. I'm not going to say a word," replied James as he plunked down on the couch. "I mean, what is there to say really?"

"What if the underclassmen had seen you sleeping together?" chided Peter. "Their impressionable minds might be polluted for life."

Remus laughed out loud. "Peter, since when did protecting the impressionable minds of the first and second-years matter to you?"

"Oh, calm down you prudes," scolded Johnny B. "Their bodies were facing in opposite directions and they have their clothes on. It's not like they were having sex." With that, everyone's jaws dropped. When he noticed, he asked, "What did I say?"

"Thanks for stating the obvious, but we know that," retorted James, who didn't appreciate being called a prude. "It's just that it's not every day you walk into the common room to your mates snuggled up on the floor."

"Snuggling?" said Annabelle. "Now you're reaching. Look, you can see our books right here. We were reading and dozed off."

"Yeah, dusting shelves is hard work," added Sirius, raising his arms above his head in a stretch. "And by the way Pete, we aren't the ones polluting the minds of the kids round here. You've been doing an excellent job of it all by yourself with your foul humour."

Annabelle thought they were being ridiculous. "Really, if it had been Lily or Alice and I asleep on the floor, no one would bat an eye. It's a bit unfair to assume that just because we are the opposite gender there must be something _else_ going on."

"She's right," said Remus. "Stop teasing them and let's go to dinner."

"Finally, a sensible thought from one of you nutters," said Sirius as they made their way out of the common room.

But as he walked with his mates to the Great Hall, he felt frustrated, or disappointed even. Like he hadn't been ready for the afternoon to be over yet, which was rather odd considering he'd had detention whilst his mates were all in Hogsmeade. Then again, it was the best nap he'd had in ages, and he always had fun with Annabelle, detention or otherwise. It had been a lovely afternoon until the lot of his mates returned to wind them up.

He glanced cautiously at her, and when she met his eyes for a fleeting moment, the warm throb in his chest returned.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

During dinner, Annabelle excused herself to retrieve their wands and speak to Professor McGonagall. She was at the head table with the other professors, and when Annabelle approached, she directed her to the wall and met her there. Annabelle nervously tried to rid her of any false notions.

"I am assuming you came for your wands. Here you are," McGonagall said, pulling them from the inside of her robes and handing them over.

"Thank you, but that's not all," she said hesitantly. "I actually wanted to speak with you about something."

"All right, out with it then."

"I just wanted you to know that…well… I don't know what you thought Sirius and I were up to yesterday, but it really was innocent. I promise you."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because your opinion of me matters. I know Sirius can be irreverent, but he's my friend, and he was only trying to help me."

McGonagall softened her stance. "Oh Annabelle, I don't have a problem with you and Mr. Black being friends. I just don't want you to forget your studies and get off track."

"He's been a great help in that regard, not a hindrance. He's actually been working with me to improve my potions skills, and we do our assignments together almost every night."

"That is encouraging to hear. But you must stay on track with your behaviour as well. Understood?"

Annabelle nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Very well then, don't fret. Go back and join your classmates."

As Annabelle was walking back to her seat she caught sight of Dominica, who was sitting with the seventh-years again. Dominica narrowed her eyes at Annabelle and mouthed the word "slag."

Annabelle froze, wanting to tell her off. Dominica raised her eyebrows, daring Annabelle to explode, probably hoping for a chance to humiliate her. Yet after what she and McGonagall had just talked about, she changed her mind and continued to her seat. It would have to wait.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After dinner, James had a Captains' meeting, and Sirius and Remus went to watch Peter face off with the Ravenclaw chess champion, Rohan Alder. They had promised him they'd be there because it was important to him, even though neither was thrilled about it. Annabelle, Lily, Alice, and Johnny B. had claimed the sofa and chairs by the fireplace before anyone else could, and put off revising in order to catch up on the day's events.

"So, what did I miss in Hogsmeade?" Annabelle asked.

"Oh no," said Johnny B. "Not before you tell us what _we_ missed today."

"This again? You said yourself it was clear we fell asleep."

"It was, Annie," said Lily. "It just seems like the two of you are getting quite close. Is there something you want to tell us?"

Annabelle fought the smile pulling at her lips. "There is nothing going on. We _are_ close, but it's not what you're thinking, really. He treats me like he treats his mates, like a teammate, you know?"

"Does he curl up in front of the fire with other teammates, because if so, sign me up!" Johnny B. exclaimed.

They all giggled at his remark, but Annabelle wished she could get them off the subject of Sirius.

"He's got a point, you know," said Alice. "You are the only teammate with whom he naps regularly."

"If by regularly you mean twice," said Annabelle, "then I suppose you are right, Alice."

"Do you like him?" asked Lily.

"Of course I like him. I like all of you, as well."

"I mean do you _fancy_ him?" Lily clarified.

Annabelle's cheeks were on fire. "No. That would be weird."

In typical fashion, Johnny B. blurted out, "Just admit you want to snog his lips off."

"And sound like every other Quidditch groupie at Hogwarts? Thank you, but I'll pass."

"You've already proved you aren't like every other groupie," said Alice. "You're a Seeker, or did that slip your memory? He already holds you in a higher regard than most people."

"So he only likes me for my Quidditch skills? Lovely."

"No, that's not what I meant and you know it," said Alice. "He's got to know you better _because_ of your Quidditch skills. And it's obvious he likes you as well."

Annabelle was getting uncomfortable with all the pressure. She knew it was a different kind of friendship than the ones she was used to, but she refused to let herself get carried away. Just because he'd become a dear friend and called her pretty didn't mean he was falling in love with her.

"Let's change the subject please?" she begged. "I want to know what happened in Hogsmeade."

Lily scowled. "Not much."

Alice sent Lily a sympathetic frown, and explained to Annabelle. "James decided to go off to the Three Broomsticks with Peter and Remus - without Lily. I could tell Remus felt bad about it, but James was acting strange."

"I was already there with Fairfax and Caradoc," said Johnny B. "He wasn't behaving badly or anything. It was pretty tame in general since Madam Rosmerta won't serve us anything but butterbeer. I just think he wanted to hang out with his mates."

"But he didn't have to be so rude about it!" said Lily. "He just decided on the spot to take off." She turned to Annabelle. "Alice told me to stay with her and Frank, but I feel awful that I ruined their day together. I almost came back to the castle on my own."

"You didn't ruin my day, Lil," said Alice.

Annabelle felt awful for Lily. James pursued her relentlessly, but as soon as he won her over, he retreated. Annabelle truly believed he wasn't ready for a relationship, yet Lily kept giving him chance after chance. It was maddening to witness.

As for James, he had been acting strange in general lately. Even on the pitch he was quick to become cross, getting worked up over minor issues. And it was never more apparent than when he was berating Sirius for getting into trouble with Annabelle.

"Do you want to know what I think?" asked Annabelle. "I think he's frightened."

Lily looked confused, but was intrigued at the same time. "Of what? Me?"

"No. Not exactly. But he sees now that getting the girl and being in a relationship isn't just a lark, but a commitment. There's responsibility involved when dealing with someone else's heart. And I think it scares the shite out of him."

"You don't think I might be driving him away?" Lily asked, fresh tears in her eyes.

They all responded at once with a resounding NO.

Annabelle put her arm around her. "He adores you, Lily, but he's not quite sure how to reconcile his feelings for you with the kid inside of him. I've told you a million times, he needs to figure things out."

"And since no one else will say it, I will," said Johnny B. "You should break up with him and show him that he can't keep you on a string while he figures himself out. You need to respect yourself, like you used to before James came flying back into your life."

Nobody could argue with that logic.

"How do you all know so much, and I feel like I know so little?" Lily asked.

"Because you're in it," said Alice. "It's hard to see the forest for the trees sometimes."

"Maybe you're right... I have a lot to think about. And some decisions to make."

"We're here for you," assured Annabelle as she gave her friend a hug.

After a bit, Lily went upstairs to revise and Alice followed to write Frank a letter. Annabelle was about to join them, but Johnny B. stopped her.

"Hold on a mo. I'm not done with you. Come sit next to me."

_Here we go again,_ she though. _Will they never quit?_

"Is that all?" she asked. "You want me to sit next to you? Yes, please."

She wasn't entirely joking. Johnny B. was easily one of her favourite people at Hogwarts; he had been friendly with her since day one, and she loved him even more when he found the courage to come out. No one had been surprised either, except Lorelei, who seemed to inhabit another universe from the rest of them. He was so good at Quidditch and such an all-around great person, that his teammates weren't fazed, and why should they be? Playing sport had nothing to do with what one did with one's love life.

"Flattery will get you nowhere right now, Annie."

She let out a huff. "Fine. What is it?"

"You know that sage wisdom Alice imparted to our Lily? The part about not seeing the forest for the trees?"

Annabelle nodded, wondering where this could be leading.

"That goes for you, too. Sirius fancies you, and I mean he is _into_ you. You don't see it, because you're wallowing in your own insecurities. In fact, you are more like James than you might like to admit. Scared, you are. Scared of falling in love, and maybe scared to have someone love you."

"Did Sirius actually tell you he fancies me?" Annabelle challenged.

"He doesn't have to."

"Didn't think so. Here's the thing, Johnny, unless he actually said these things to you, this discussion is over. But thanks for the therapy session, Dr. Bemis."

She made a move to get up, but Johnny B. touched her arm and asked, "What if I could get him to admit it? Would you discuss it then?"

Annabelle stiffened. "Johnny B.! Don't you _dare_ say anything to him. Don't! _Please!_ "

"All right, Annie I won't. Calm down and breathe. Crikey, girls and their overreactions."

Annabelle exhaled and relaxed a bit.

"One more question," he said. "Last one."

"Go ahead."

"Do me a favour? I want you to close your eyes and really visualise what I am telling you." Annabelle sighed, but complied with his instructions. "Here we go. You are walking past the fifth floor broom cupboard and you see Sirius exiting with a girl. How do you feel when you see them?"

"Depends who it is, I reckon," she answered casually, not really picturing it.

"Fine. It's Alice."

Annabelle laughed. "I'd feel surprised since she has a boyfriend."

"Okay. It's Dominica."

Her stomach knotted. "I'd feel disappointed he gave in to her, but I don't think I'd be shocked."

"Annabelle! How could you think-? Forget it, don't answer. One more... _Elsinore Collins_."

The image took shape in her mind instantly: Sirius with his bright smile, holding Elsinore's hand as he led her out of the closet, their hair a mess and their clothing untucked, but still looking flawlessly perfect together. Annabelle's stomach knotted tighter and she wished she could unsee it.

"So how do you feel?" Johnny B. asked.

She responded before she thought not to. "Crushed."

"I knew you fancied him." Johnny B. got up and gave her a pat on the head. "Good night, my darling. We have practice tomorrow so get some sleep."

"Johnny, but she's a... wait... but she's-" Annabelle began, but he just smiled, waved, and exited up the stairs. "…a Slytherin," she finished with a sigh, not sure where she was going with that particular excuse anyway. It hadn't stopped them from going out with each other once before.

She let the conversation sink in. Despite what she said, if she saw Sirius come out of a broom cupboard with anyone, she'd be gutted. But that didn't mean she fancied him, she tried to convince herself. It could mean she was possessive of her friend and didn't want to share him, which was something she'd have to get over. Or was Johnny B. right and she was afraid of her own feelings? Sodding feelings... Why did they have to muck everything up? Before she could dwell on it any longer, Sirius, Remus, and Peter came through the portrait hole and she felt her heart leap into her throat.

"Hello, Annie, did you miss us?" Sirius asked, flashing that smile she had grown to adore. Thankfully he didn't wait for a response, because when she thought about it, either answer to that question would have been awkward. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"I was chatting with Johnny B.," she replied as she stood up. "You just missed him. I think I'm gonna head upstairs as well." She wasn't sure, but she thought she detected a hint of disappointment in his expression. "Did you win your chess match, Peter?"

"Of course," he said. Normally, she would have thought he sounded arrogant, but she was starting to find him sort of endearing in a way. He tried so hard to keep up with his friends; she couldn't begrudge him his chess victory.

"Congratulations, then."

They said their goodnights, and she went up to her room, her mind and her heart racing.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After she was gone, Peter bounded up the stairs to the boys' dorm, eager to find a place for his trophy. Sirius and Remus followed, grinning at his enthusiasm. Soon, James entered the room. He kicked off his shoes and fell onto his bed.

"I'm knackered," he declared.

"Peter won his chess match tonight," said Remus, knowing James' respect meant a lot to Peter.

"Yep, he crushed that Ravenclaw chess champ," said Sirius. "I think we may have a chess prodigy in Gryffindor House."

James looked at Peter who was standing proudly next to his nightstand where the gleaming trophy was displayed.

"Oh, wow, that's brilliant, mate!" James said. "Well done."

"Thanks, Prongs." Peter couldn't hide his smile, even though he was trying to be cool about it.

"I think I'm going to sleep early tonight," James said. "This was a long day, unless you lot feel like sneaking out..."

"What?" said Peter. "Not sneaking out with Lily for a snog fest?"

"Nah. I think she might be sleeping already."

"You know, I think I'll pass on sneaking out tonight," Sirius said as he pulled off his sweatshirt. "I'm well knackered. Maybe next weekend, though. Merlin knows I'm going to need it after bloody Family Day."

"And I need to finish the reading assignment for tomorrow," said Remus.

Peter was too busy adjusting the position of his trophy to chime in.

James thought about pointing out how dull they were being, but he figured it wouldn't change their minds. He wasn't sure why he was so keen on the idea of sneaking out anyway, considering he was exhausted.

"Next weekend, then," he said.

"We should take the girls along," said Sirius. "They've never been to Moore's."

"Do you think they'd be up for going out?" James asked sceptically, secretly wishing the girls would stay behind so it could be like old times.

"No," Peter blurted out. "I think they'd only go along so they could chaperone us."

"Of course they'd be up for it," said Sirius, ignoring Peter's absurd comment. It seemed natural they would go as well, considering they were all friends now. Besides, it would be more fun with them there.

"I think it'd be nice to have them along," offered Remus. "Something different."

James rubbed his face and sat up straight. "Have you considered the logistics of sneaking out with that many people and only one map?"

"We can go in two separate groups," said Sirius. "You can take the map. I'm feeling daring these days."

Peter's eyes widened. "We're letting them see the map? Because I don't think that's a good idea."

"We don't have to," said Remus. "Or we can tell them it's a map we made to remind us of where the secret passages are. They don't need to know the details. Besides, I think they can keep a secret."

Sirius nodded in agreement and James knew he wasn't going to win this one. Maybe they were right, maybe it would be fun, if they could manage without getting caught.

Later, after the others had fallen asleep, Sirius lay awake, listening to the wind whistling through the window casements, thoughts of Annabelle lingering in his mind. Throughout Peter's chess match, all he could think was how much he'd rather be with her, reading, walking the corridors, or anything really. She had looked at him strangely when he returned, and he wondered if something was wrong, but didn't want to ask in front of the others. If only she hadn't been in such a hurry to go to her room…

It was wild to him how a girl he had been at odds with for years was now always on his mind, even as he floated away into sleep. And that night, much to his slight embarrassment and extreme pleasure, she even visited him in his dreams. When he woke the next morning he felt warm and euphoric, but she was a mate – they played Quidditch together for Merlin's sake - so he felt a bit guilty dreaming of her that way. He vowed to keep it to himself, as it was only a dream, no matter how real it had felt.

* * *

**A/N: For the readers that have been following along, a lot happens in the next chapter... ;)**


	23. Fields of Athenry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Disclaimer- I don't condone underage drinking. It's not a good thing. Also, in the UK, lemonade refers to clear lemon-lime soda - like Sprite, 7-Up and the like.
> 
> Please comment!  
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The week before a Quidditch match usually flew by, and Annabelle scarcely had a chance to find her bearings before she was launched into the air with her teammates for another nerve-racking competition. But the week leading up to the Hufflepuff match crawled, as she was extremely distracted by everything else going on - the approach of Family Day (which happened to be the same day as the match,) the drama with Dominica, Lily's issues with James, and of course, her conversation with Johnny B. about Sirius. She saw no signs in particular that pointed to Sirius fancying her as more than a friend, and she chose to overlook her disappointment and focus on her relief that their friendship wasn't in danger. Love had a way of ruining friendships - at least that's what she'd heard – and she couldn't lose him over some dramatic crush nonsense that would probably be over before Christmas.

There was one highlight, however, during the interminable span of days. She and Sirius had detected that Remus had a crush on a shy, dark-haired and doe-eyed fifth year Ravenclaw called Claire Shaw. Remus hadn't admitted it yet, but it was obvious by the way he couldn't take his eyes off her whenever she was nearby, either passing in the corridors, or entering the Great Hall, or walking across the courtyard like she'd been the day they figured it out. When Remus saw Sirius and Annabelle peering at him with subtle looks of knowing plastered across their faces, he flushed red and went back to his book, which only confirmed their suspicions. Of course, bringing it up was out of the question as he would only deny it, but if he didn't stop making it so obvious, everyone would know soon enough.

When Saturday finally arrived, Annabelle's worries had shifted back to the Quidditch match. Hufflepuff had strong players and the only hope she clung to was that their fifth-year Seeker, Milo Knight, wasn't quite as strong as the rest of the team. She wouldn't underestimate him though, because his team had already won a match thanks to him.

On top of that, the stands were packed with families, and it was snowing that morning. Annabelle had never played in anything but bright, warm sunshine, and the prospect of flying through the frigid air for hours didn't appeal to her.

Gryffindor was on fire, though, with James, Johnny B. and even clumsy third-year, Rory Finnegan scoring like crazy and making the crowd go wild. Sirius hardly missed a Quaffle, doing all kinds of dangerous moves to block them. The Bludgers didn't stand a chance against Fairfax and Caradoc. It was amazing to watch, as Annabelle found herself doing several times before reminding herself to focus. She had only seen the Snitch once, but before she could make a move for it, she lost sight of it. It wasn't until about an hour and a half into the match that she caught sight of it again.

Milo had also seen it, and Annabelle found herself in a wild chase with him. She grabbed for it several times but it was always out of reach. At one point she heard Fairfax shout, " _Stand on your broom!_ " but she couldn't. She was terrified to try. Milo was not, as he demonstrated when he agilely got to his feet and leaned over to grab the Snitch. Annabelle could taste the defeat before it even happened, until a Bludger came from behind and rammed into Milo's back, causing him to fall before making contact with it. Her first reaction was to see if he was okay, but she heard Sirius yell, " _He's fine! Go go go!_ "

A few seconds later, she had the Snitch. Gryffindor hadn't just beat Hufflepuff, they had buried them.

But Annabelle still felt like she'd failed her team. She'd been so unfocused and detached, while they gave it their hearts and souls. She only caught the Snitch because Milo was hit by a Bludger.

"So what, Annabelle? That's how the bloody game works!" exclaimed Caradoc after she expressed her feelings out loud. "And, for feck's sake, you don't have to check on the opposing players when they get hit. Getting hit is part of the game!"

"Sorry," she said meekly. "I just thought he might need help."

"All's fair in love and Quidditch," said Fairfax. "You did great out there. Stop second guessing yourself."

After the match, they cleaned up and joined in on the Family Day festivities. Annabelle and Sirius made sure to say hello to the Evanses and the Potters, but Sirius stayed true to his word and didn't leave her side once, his presence a buffer against the usual loneliness of the day.

"Lily's parents are lovely, but that Petunia is a nasty piece of work, isn't she?" observed Sirius.

"Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so," said Annabelle, who was not surprised when Petunia didn't say hello. She didn't know why Petunia was there to begin with, considering her disdain for Lily's abilities. "James's parents were wonderful. It's clear that they think of you as one of their own."

"Yeah, they're great people. Still, it's not the same, is it?"

She knew what he meant. "Definitely not."

At dinner, Sirius and Annabelle found it awkward to be sitting with Lily, James, and their parents. It was obvious that Lily and James felt uncomfortable and anxious about it, like they couldn't wait for it to be over, despite their parents getting along brilliantly. Petunia sulked, unwilling to touch her food and flinching over the slightest noises in the room. At one point, Sirius purposely made sparks fly from his wand, and Petunia screeched.

"I'm ever so sorry," he told her. "It happens sometimes."

Annabelle almost choked trying to suppress her laughter, and he pressed his knee against hers under the table. When she glanced at him, he was grinning and she had to look away lest she crack up in front of the Evanses and the Potters.

After the families had departed, the students retreated to their various common rooms for the night. Lily, Alice, and Remus were lounging on the sofa, Peter and James were seated in the big chairs on either end of it, and Sirius and Annabelle were on the floor, seeing who could make tiny pieces of fuzz from the rug levitate longer.

"Who's up for an adventure?" James asked, seemingly out of the blue.

The boys had waited until that evening to invite the girls to the pub so they wouldn't have a chance to talk themselves out of it at the last minute, or as only Peter feared, a chance to rat the boys out in advance.

"What kind of adventure," Annabelle asked, not taking her eyes or her wand off her piece of fuzz.

"A visit to a pub one town over," said Sirius. "It's open really late- until two in the morning."

"It's in the muggle town of Straiton," said James. "Never saw a faculty member there yet, and they don't check IDs. Fairfax, Johnny B. and Caradoc already left - escaped in the crowd of parents. They're meeting some of our former teammates there."

"A town over?" asked Alice. "How would we get there?"

"Portkey," said James.

"What about the Trace?"

"Come on, Alice, you know Minister Minchum rarely enforces the Trace on teenagers these days."

"He's got his hands full with Moldy-wart," said Peter. "No extra time or resources to investigate a bunch of almost seventeen-year-olds for some harmless magic."

Remus cleared his throat. "Actually, he's a lazy sod who can't be bothered to enforce it."

"That too," agreed Peter.

"I think I'm too tired," Annabelle said. She was being honest, but after two detentions, she couldn't risk McGonagall catching her. Sneaking out at night to a muggle pub was much worse than talking in class or strolling the grounds during academic hours. McGonagall would never trust her again.

"That's understandable," replied Sirius, trying to hide his disappointment. It hadn't occurred to him she wouldn't want to go, but he wouldn't pressure her like he did with Quidditch.

"Come on, Annie, let's all go," prodded Lily. "Now's our chance to see if we've been missing out on anything or not."

"What if we get caught? We'll have detention until June."

"We've never been caught yet," Peter said. "Don't ruin our record."

"We don't have any muggle money, so..." Alice said.

James shook his head and sighed. "You're such amateurs. It's called Transfiguration, Alice."

"It's called _theft_ , James."

"Don't worry about it," James said. "We've already got it covered."

"We're in," said Lily, grinning nervously at Alice and Annabelle. "Yeah?"

"Eh, fine by me," said Alice.

"Annie?" prodded Lily.

Annabelle let out a huff. "All right. We're in."

And just like that, they were going to Straiton. Annabelle smiled, giving a little shrug. If Lily was willing to take the chance, at least Annabelle wouldn't be alone in her wantonness when they got caught.

"She's good at getting what she wants, yeah?" Sirius said quietly to Annabelle. For some reason, he felt elated at the turn of events.

"What can I say, I have a bit of a soft spot for her. But, really, what if we get caught?"

"Dumbledore ties us up in the undercroft and leaves us without food, drink, or toilet for a _week_."

Annabelle giggled, still concentrating on her tiny fuzzball. "I can't believe I'm going to do this."

"You worry too much. Stay with us, and you won't get caught. We've been sneaking out of the castle for years." When Annabelle's fuzzball dropped to the floor, he exclaimed, "Yesss! I won!"

She chuckled, shaking her head at him, and her eyes caught the firelight. Something inside his chest flipped.

"You are so competitive," she said.

"Really, you are levitating lint?" Peter mocked them. "And people think I'm the strange one."

They decided to leave in shifts just after ten o'clock via a secret passage behind a mirror on the fourth floor. Besides them, only a few trusted members of the Quidditch team knew about it. The passage led to The Green Banshee, which was a slightly dodgy but popular establishment on the edge of Hogsmeade. It was always packed at the weekend, so no one would notice them coming up the stairs from the basement and exiting. Professors were not known to patronise the place, as it was frequented by a younger, edgier crowd, so it was safe to say they wouldn't know anyone there. Still, being underage and the possibility of running into someone who would identify them as Hogwarts students had caused the boys to seek out another venue for their entertainment.

The plan was to go by Portkeys, which they had illegally created the previous winter, to the outskirts of the small village of Straiton, and head over to Moore's Public House where they felt assured they could blend in. Before retreating to their rooms, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter advised the girls again.

"Listen," said James. "You mustn't make a peep in the corridors, and you must swear you will never give away this passage to anyone."

"Yeah, not even to McGonagall or Dumbledore," Peter sneered, looking directly at Annabelle.

"We aren't going to say a word," said Lily, irritated by Peter. "We'd be awfully daft to tell anyone about it since we're going to be using it ourselves."

"Okay," said James. "No one leaves anyone alone, and no one goes off with any strangers. You never know what dodgy characters could be lurking. Don't even go to the loo by yourselves."

"Are you sure this is supposed to be fun?" asked Annabelle.

Sirius laughed. "It is fun, as long as we all stick together. It's just a safeguard is all."

"Remember," said James, "10:15 will be Sirius, Remus, Annabelle, and Alice. Then Lily, Peter, and myself at 10:25. Try to stay awake."

"Yeah or we'll leave without you," warned Peter.

The girls got ready to go out by changing in the shower stalls and covering with dressing gowns when they were done, so the other girls wouldn't know what they were up to. It was hard for Annabelle to stay awake. Just when she was drifting off, Alice pulled her up by the arm, and two girls tiptoed down the stairs to where Sirius and Remus were waiting. No one said a word when they arrived, but stepped out of the portrait hole one by one, and scurried like mice to the fourth floor. They thought they heard a noise at one point and hid behind some pillars and a suit of armour, but when the coast was clear, they continued to the mirror. Remus led the way into the passage, followed by Alice and Annabelle, with Sirius bringing up the back. The passage was pitch dark and damp, but once they had descended the uneven staircase to the bottom, Remus lit his wand and they could see the sloping tunnel much better.

"How much longer?" Alice whispered.

Remus shushed her. "A bit."

After about ten minutes, they made it to the Green Banshee, hustled up the stairs, and worked their way through the crowd to the door. The girls followed the boys up the main road out of Hogsmeade, crossing over into the woods where there were two large stones with one red dot painted on each one. These were the Portkeys, and upon touching one of them, they were transported to a field behind an abandoned, broken down barn on the edge of a village. There was another stone with a red dot already in the field, presumably the Portkey Caradoc, Johnny B. and Fairfax had used to get there earlier in the evening. They walked casually down the main road, and after a few blocks, made a right into Moore's Pub, a beacon in the frosty autumn night.

It was big for a pub, with a large square bar and tables along the walls and in the back. At the far end was a small stage where a band played upbeat, folksy music, and a crowd of people danced and sang along. The windows were steamed up from the warmth of all the people inside and candles dotted the tables. It wasn't long before they spotted Johnny B. at the bar.

"You made it!" he exclaimed, motioning them over. "Can we get you something? A drink perhaps?"

Annabelle and Alice exchanged apprehensive looks, as neither knew what to order at a pub. They jerked their heads toward the sound of Caradoc howling for the band in the middle of the room, Fairfax and two other young men right beside him. A few muggle girls had sidled up to them already.

"I see why you come here," said Alice with a wink. "To pull."

"That is _not_ true," said Remus. "It's usually older women here and they don't give us the time of day. And we have to be careful when mingling with muggles. Caradoc takes far more chances than he should."

"Riiight," said Alice.

"Do you want a drink, or not?" asked Remus, getting annoyed.

"Lemonade."

"I'll have the same," said Annabelle.

"Nothing stronger?" Johnny B. asked.

"Maybe later," said Annabelle. Getting caught sneaking back into the castle would be awful enough, but getting caught whilst drunk? It was too terrible to consider.

The boys had ordered stout, which Annabelle only recognised because her grandfather used to drink it on the rare occasions she saw him drinking at all. She instantly felt nostalgic for him.

When James, Lily, and Peter arrived, Fairfax, Caradoc, and their former teammates who had graduated the year before joined them at the bar for a Quidditch team mini-reunion. The girls were a bit paralysed by their surroundings. It was exciting being in crowded pub late at night with the boys, but they weren't quite sure of themselves, so they stayed close together.

"Merlin's Ghost!" exclaimed Lily. "Can you believe we're in a pub with Connor and Gavin?"

Annabelle eyed the young men she would know anywhere, but who wouldn't know Annabelle if she fell off her broom and landed on them.

"We aren't _with_ them, Lily," said Alice. "Try to relax. I'd rather not see James get jealous, especially if he's drinking."

Lily grinned. "Why not?"

"Now who's immature?" asked Alice.

"Oh, I'm just teasing. But are they gorgeous or what?"

Sirius took Annabelle by the hand, and much to her chagrin, led her straight to where the former gods of Gryffindor stood with her teammates.

"Not sure if you've met her before, but here's our newest Seeker, Annabelle O'Neill. Annie, this is Connor Fawley, our former Captain."

He held out his hand to her and she took it. "Nice to meet you," she said shyly.

Annabelle remembered Connor well. He was tall, muscular, with light brown hair and hazel eyes that sparkled. Annabelle always thought he had pretty eyes. She especially remembered him throwing a punch at Lucius Malfoy after a game lost to Slytherin in her second year, his fourth. She had been afraid of him then, but to see him again, and after what Caradoc had done to Otto, he was no longer scary since fighting in Quidditch was apparently par for the course.

"The pleasure is all mine," he replied genteelly, then motioned to another young, handsome wizard. "This lad here is your predecessor."

"Gavin Travers, nice to meet you," he said, taking her hand. "I hear you are a smashing Seeker."

With puppy dog eyes, swirly brown hair, and a strong build, girls who didn't even know Gavin cried when he finished school. He was so popular and ahead of her in years that Annabelle never gave him much thought. He was like a celebrity. She thought he was attractive, but knew she was never going to be on his radar. She couldn't remember him even looking at her in the five years they attended school together, yet there he was, shaking her hand.

"I don't know about that," she replied awkwardly.

"She's also too modest," said Sirius, putting an arm around her shoulder and giving her a squeeze.

"And this is Alice and Lily," said Annabelle, motioning them forward in an attempt to take the attention off herself.

"Pleased to meet you both," Gavin said. "Hope these chaps are behaving themselves with you ladies." His voice was as smooth as butter.

Lily glowed as usual, and Alice seemed indifferent. Annabelle just wanted to find a place to sit down in order to avoid embarrassing herself, but then Caradoc called out, "SHOTS!" Fairfax started counting, including the girls in the tally.

"Twelve shots of whiskey, coming right up!"

"Lily, we aren't going to drink whiskey, are we?" Annabelle whispered.

"It's only one shot. Look around you. You are surrounded by the fittest members of the Gryffindor team, past and present. I think we need to celebrate that fact! Alice, are you going to do one?"

"Sure," she said. "But only one. Then I'm sticking to water."

"I'm not sure if I should do one," Annabelle whispered again. She was thinking of her mother, who was about the same age when she started dabbling in substance abuse, which inevitably consumed her. "My mum…"

"You are not your mother, Annie," Lily whispered back. "One shot of whiskey isn't going to change who you are. But if you don't want to do it, you don't have to. No one here will judge you, and even if they did, since when do you care what anyone thinks of you?"

Fairfax passed round the tray of shots. Annabelle took one and Fairfax moved on to Lily.

Sirius saw the apprehension on her face and he remembered her mum's addiction. In a low voice, he said, "You absolutely do not have to do it if you don't feel comfortable. No pressure from me, understood?"

"What's one shot going to do to me?" she asked.

"Probably not much, but it will burn going down."

James raised his glass, and everyone followed his lead.

"Here's to friends, old and new. Cheers!"

Everyone clinked their glasses together and downed their shots in one gulp. Everyone except Annabelle. Instead, she hesitantly took one sip and almost choked.

"You're not supposed to sip it, Annabelle," James pestered, so she forced herself to finish it. It hurt going down.

Sirius leaned in close and asked, "Are you all right?

She nodded as she rubbed her throat, and said hoarsely, "If that is what regular whiskey feels like, I think I will steer clear of Firewhisky forever."

He laughed. "Probably a wise decision. I told you it burns."

Johnny B. came up behind her, already acting a bit loopier than usual, and yelled over the music, "Come on! Let's dance!"

Sirius smiled at her. "Go dance. Have some fun."

The girls followed Johnny B. out to the dance floor where it was almost too crowded to dance. The music was lively and a lot people were singing along. Annabelle was familiar with the songs since her grandfather was originally from Belfast, and traditional folk music had been part of her upbringing. She began to feel more at home in the warm, candlelit place. Eventually Remus joined them on the dance floor, and he hooted and clapped along.

Next thing she knew, Caradoc was back with more shots, passing them over their heads and into their hands. "No more, Caradoc, not for me," she said, but Caradoc, who was clearly intoxicated, insisted.

"Now Annie-belle, I wan you to 'ave this shot from me, to show you my gratitude," he slurred, making an exaggerated sad face. "You'll hurt my feelings if you don't."

"That made no sense," she replied, laughing.

"I'm doing it," declared Lily, who seemed to be on a mission to prove something. She downed the shot.

Alice, who seemed a million miles away, did the shot despite saying earlier one was her limit. Annabelle looked around. Sirius and the others at the bar were all doing another shot. She was the only one worrying about it.

"Come on, Annabelle, for me?" Caradoc begged, making the funniest face she'd ever seen.

"This is definitely peer pressure, you know," she admonished him, but she took a breath and did the shot. After the burn faded, she shuddered. "No more whiskey, I mean it. It tastes awful." She shuddered again.

Soon she was feeling slightly light-headed and silly.

Johnny B. whispered to her, "Isn't the lead singer hot? I'm in love with him. Too bad he's straight."

Annabelle checked him out. Hot wasn't the word she'd choose, but he was attractive, albeit a bit older than they were. Johnny B. was always falling in love. She wished he could find someone special, to fend off the girls that were always staring at him dreamily even though they didn't stand a chance.

"What about me?" she asked, pretending to be hurt.

"Aww, you know if I was straight I'd be all yours!" he told her, and gave her a squeeze.

"You'd better be!" She was always telling him this, and he loved her for it.

They resumed their dancing, if you could call it that. It was more like flailing - hopping like clumsy Irish dancers, linking arms, and whirling about. Annabelle was singing along loudly and off-key to songs she recognised. Remus had wandered over to the edge of the dance floor to watch, and Alice joined him. She had been saying how much she missed Frank. Apparently the alcohol was making her sad about it and she didn't feel like goofing around.

Next thing Annabelle knew, Caradoc was back with more shots for them.

"Blimey, Caradoc! I said none for me!" she exclaimed as he handed her one.

"You said no more whiskey, you didn't say nothin' about vodka!" he roared over the music. "Do it for me, Annie! It's my apology for being a knobhead before!"

"That's long forgot. But this really is the last one!"

The vodka was just as bad as the whiskey. It was her third shot in about a half hour and she was starting to feel dizzy. She looked over at Remus and Alice and watched as Caradoc gave them both a shot, which Alice promptly drank. Remus set his on the windowsill. He looked anxious.

Eventually, Sirius and James made their way over. Lily, who was feeling rather bold, asked, "Where did Connor and Gavin go? I was hoping to dance with them."

James wasn't amused. He glanced at Sirius, who said, "They went to meet some mates in Hogsmeade."

"That's unfortunate," said Lily, ignoring James, who hadn't even bothered to introduce her to them as his girlfriend. He decided to go back to the bar with Fairfax, and she didn't attempt to stop him.

Annabelle pointed her finger unsteadily at Sirius. "Tell Caradoc no more shots. I can't feel my face."

"He's been buying you shots, huh? That git." He burst out laughing. "I can't feel my face she says!"

Annabelle couldn't help but laugh as well. They'd both had a bit too much.

She wondered why Remus was being such a party pooper. He just stood there against the wall, his face pinched and posture rigid. Alice was resting her head on his shoulder with her eyes closed. Caradoc tried to persuade them to join them on the dance floor, but they shook their heads no.

The band began to play "I'm a Rover." It was a rather dirty song Annabelle realised, but it was so bouncy and fun that the place went crazy. Sirius joined in on the wild dancing, linking arms with Annabelle and then Lily, and twirling them round the dance floor as they laughed themselves silly. Next thing they knew, Caradoc had come up behind Lily and swung her around, and she squealed in delight.

While they were dancing, James was at the bar with the Fairfax, brooding. Lily had barely paid any attention to him since they'd arrived at pub. He figured she was doing it to punish him for ditching her in Hogsmeade the Saturday before, but it still bothered him. He was also drinking way too much.

"Girls," he muttered.

"Are wonderful," said Fairfax. "You don't know how to relate to them is all."

"Oh and you do?"

"They're people, with the same sort of feelings we have. It's not as complicated as you've been led to believe."

James grimaced and threw back another shot.

The next song was a slow one - a pretty Irish folk ballad called "Fields of Athenry." It was about a man unjustly sent to prison and how his grieving wife struggled without him. Annabelle had heard it before, but never played quite as slowly as it was just then. It made it that much more poignant.

"They always play this gloomy song," said Sirius as people were hooking up with partners and swaying to the melody. Annabelle saw Lily accept an offer from Caradoc to dance, while Johnny B. persuaded Alice to dance with him. Remus found a seat and was trying to keep his eyes open, until a young muggle woman asked him to dance.

"Why would anyone want to slow dance to such a sad song?" Annabelle asked, the room spinning a little. She stumbled sideways and Sirius caught her in his arms.

"Because they're drunk," he said, finding it hard to swallow as she gazed up at him. "And why not? It's still a love song."

"I suppose you're right." She became aware he had his arm wrapped around her waist and they were beginning to move to the music themselves. His left hand gently grasped her right hand and he held it against his chest. She had her other hand on his shoulder, but he let her go for a second to guide her arms round his neck. Then he wrapped his arms around her again, holding her tightly against him.

She was feeling tipsy, but she wasn't sure if it was the drink or being in Sirius's arms that was causing it. Nor did she care. His hands caressed her back and she pressed her face into his neck, breathing him in. He was tall, so he had to bend slightly, but she felt his lips graze her temple. A tingling sensation ignited her skin. Whatever was happening, she didn't want it to end.

Sirius wasn't sure what was happening either; all he knew was that he wanted to hold her. Having her body against his made him more light-headed than he already was. The feeling was back in his chest, the urging, and he squeezed her closer. He shut his eyes as her fingers drifted over his neck, through his hair, and over the back of his head. The tenderness with which she touched him was completely foreign to him, and he longed for more. Pulling back to look at her, he pressed his forehead against hers, prompting her to look into his eyes. It was as though there was no one else in the room, or in the world, but her.

"Annabelle?" he breathed, as he rubbed his nose against hers, then his lips against her lips. They were soft.

He didn't need to ask the question. "Yes," she affirmed in a whisper. "A thousand times, yes."

Again, his lips brushed against hers; this time they were parted slightly, and she followed his lead, parting her own lips as he kissed her. It was gentle at first, and slow, but as he hugged her body to him, the kiss became fervent. The feelings it provoked in her were so new and scary and wonderful, and her entire being ached for him.

A loud crashing noise and a scream jolted them out of their trance, transporting them back to earth. They turned to see Caradoc on the floor and James on top of him, slugging him in the face while Lily screamed, "Stop it! It was just dancing! Stop, please! You'll kill him!"

Instantly, Sirius rushed to stop him as Annabelle pushed her way over to Lily in an attempt to keep her from the fray. Fairfax, Johnny B., and Remus ran to help Sirius pull James off Caradoc. Once they succeeded, Fairfax hauled a cursing and swinging Caradoc away. The bouncer came over and gave them all the boot, and Sirius and Remus steered James through the crowd. Annabelle followed with Alice and a very distraught Lily. Peter, who was enthusiastically snogging an older muggle woman in the back of the pub, had been oblivious to the whole incident. As they passed, Sirius reached out and gave him a smack on the back of the head to get his attention, and they exited into the snow.

 


	24. The Downside of Debauchery

Outside the pub, the street was quiet and empty. Caradoc was putting snow on his bloody lip.

"What the fuck is your problem, mate?" roared Fairfax at James, his voice echoing into the still night. "Have you lost it completely? He was just having an innocent dance with her!" Then he turned to a subdued Caradoc. "Let's go Doc, Johnny and I will help you." They hobbled off toward their Portkey, Caradoc using Fairfax and Johnny B. for support.

James was silent. He was having a hard time standing so he knelt down on the snowy pavement and held his stomach for fear he might vomit.

Lily was fuming. "I am done with this nonsense," she exclaimed, trembling as she spoke. James kept his eyes averted, unable to look at her as she continued. "I am _through_ waiting for you to get it together. You practically ignore me for a week, and only when you see a friend has asked me to dance do you acknowledge my existence? You have humiliated me for the last time. I don't even know what else to say. I want to leave. Annabelle? Alice? Can we please get out of here?"

"Come with me," offered Remus. "I'll get you back to the castle. Sirius and Peter can take care of James."

All of a sudden, Peter tumbled over and vomited on himself. He tried to stand up, but slipped in it. Despite the graveness of the situation, Annabelle caught Sirius trying not to laugh at him. Annabelle had to cover her mouth to hide her smile, even though Peter could not have been more revolting than he was at that moment.

"I can't get up," he said. "Somebody help me." Remus was already at his side helping him up.

"Change of plans," said Remus. "Annabelle, you stay with Sirius and James. Come on, Peter, I've got you."

"Lil, are you sure you don't want to wait and go back with us?" asked Annabelle.

She shook her head, her jaw clenched. "No. I don't want to be near him. You stay and help Sirius with him. I'll see you there."

"Okay," she said softly, feeling sad for her friend. "Be careful."

Annabelle hadn't realised how much James had been drinking, but he was almost asleep on his knees, and he wasn't budging.

"Just let me sleep here," he murmured, deciding to lie down on the pavement as the others walked away.

"You can't sleep here, mate," said Sirius, rubbing snow in his face to wake him up.

"Stop," James moaned, and tried to shoo Sirius away with his hand.

Sirius was getting frustrated. "If you don't get up you're going to freeze to death out here. Now get up! Come on, now. Up!"

Annabelle preferred not to stand out in the cold all night. Also, they had to make it back to Hogsmeade before the Green Banshee closed or else they'd have to find another way into the castle. She approached James and said, "Come on, James, get up now," then she took a handful of snow and put it down the back of his shirt.

That got him moving, and swearing, but thankfully he was off the ground. Sirius supported him from one side and Annabelle took the other. They weren't as drunk as James, but they were unsteady on their feet, so it took some time for the three of them to shuffle back to the Portkey on the slippery street.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" asked James, who kept stopping to hold his stomach.

Annabelle hoped he wouldn't get sick on her. "I'll say," she replied.

"Going to have to agree," said Sirius. "What is going on with you?"

"I've lost her for good this time," he slurred. "She will never forgive me."

Annabelle was having a hard time feeling sorry for him, but she resisted the urge to be cross. She didn't want to rub salt in his wounds.

"You've got to pull yourself together," said Sirius, clearly hurting for his friend. "You went off the rails in there. And you'd better apologise to Caradoc tomorrow before he pays you back."

"Why did he have to dance with her?" James asked slowly, trying hard to speak clearly.

"My guess is, because _you_ weren't dancing with her," Annabelle said.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm a bloody mess. She deserves better."

Again, Annabelle was tempted to agree, but she could see Sirius was distraught over his best friend's miserable state, so she bit her tongue.

"Let's just worry about getting back to the dorms," said Sirius. "You can think it over tomorrow when you aren't piss drunk."

Eventually, after several slips and stops for James, they made it to field behind the old barn. There, they touched the remaining stone and were jolted back to the woods outside Hogsmeade with such force that James vomited upon landing.

"Good grief," Annabelle muttered.

She felt like it was taking forever to get back to the castle. Thankfully, nobody noticed them staggering to the back of the Green Banshee. Several times in the tunnel James decided to lie down and Sirius and Annabelle had to negotiate with him to get up again. It was exhausting.

Once they were inside the castle, Sirius consulted their map. He tapped it with his wand as he quietly mumbled something indecipherable to Annabelle's tired ears. She made a mental note to ask him about it another day.

"Looks clear, but only if we hurry," he said. "Filch is out and about."

The silliness from a couple hours before seemed like a distant memory to Annabelle as their legs struggled to carry them up to Gryffindor Tower.

They made it into the dim common room, lit only by the dying fire, and panic seized Annabelle. What if the others hadn't made it back for some reason? What if something had happened to them?

Sirius was obviously having similar thoughts because he said, "Annie, will you check to see if Lily and Alice are okay?"

Annabelle climbed the stairs to their dorm. She was about to pass by the loo when she heard crying coming from inside. She opened the door to see Lily kneeling over a toilet and Alice seated next to her with her back against the stall, her eyes closed.

Tottering back down to the bottom step, Annabelle peeked round the wall and said, "They're not doing so well. I'm going to go help."

"Wish I could help as well, but I sort of have my hands full here."

James was slouched on the sofa, moaning about what a screw-up he was.

"Are you going to be all right?" Annabelle asked as Sirius attempted to haul James off the sofa.

"Yes, I can handle it from here," he said. "Goodnight, Annabelle."

"Goodnight, Sirius."

They gazed at each other for a fleeting moment, acknowledging what had transpired between them that night. Annabelle felt her cheeks flush and she looked away, disappearing up the staircase.

She returned to the loo, where Lily still had her head over the toilet, alternating between barfing and crying.

"Lily, maybe I should wake Madam Pomfrey," she suggested. She wished they hadn't been so utterly naïve about alcohol. Lily, on her mission to teach James a lesson, had far more to drink than her body knew what to do with.

"No, Annie," she croaked. "Don't do that. She'll tell Dumbledore."

Annabelle grabbed a clean towel and wet it in the sink. She climbed into the stall, careful not to step on Alice, who was sound asleep, and knelt beside Lily, wiping her face. Her eyes were swollen from crying.

"Don't move. I'm going to get our nightgowns."

"No, Annie. Don't go," Lily sobbed.

"If we all go upstairs to change, Lorelei or Dominica will wake up and know what we did. I will be right back."

A few minutes later, Annabelle was back. She woke Alice, who helped her get Lily sorted, and after getting ready for bed themselves, they helped Lily up the stairs. Annabelle took the waste-paper basket and put it next to Lily's bed, just in case. Considering the rubbish bins were charmed to vanish their contents immediately, a basketful of vomit wasn't a concern. The last thing she wanted was Lily falling down the winding stone staircase in an attempt to make it to the toilet in the middle of the night.

Annabelle slid under her covers, and as soon as she closed her eyes she felt like her bed was spinning. She had to sit up and open her eyes to make it stop. Every time she lay back down, it would happen again. It was nauseating, and she knew then that she would never be like her mother, because she never wanted to drink again. After changing positions several times, she was finally drifting off when Lorelei shouted, "Who in the bloody hell keeps moving about? Go the fuck to sleep!"

 _Bitch_ , Annabelle thought.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-. -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

She woke to the sunlight beaming through the window and a strong feeling that she should be remembering something. She could hear Dominica and Lorelei talking, and then heard their footsteps retreating down the stairs. She sat straight up in bed as the events of the previous night came rushing back to her, along with a crushing headache. Did she and her friends really go to a pub? Were they really doing shots of Merlin knows what? And did she… did she really kiss Sirius? She began to wonder if it had been a dream and she looked to Lily and Alice's beds. They were still there, sound asleep. She checked the time and saw that breakfast had started already. Her stomach turned at the thought of food.

She took a shower and got dressed, even though she hadn't got nearly enough sleep. Her mind was racing. She didn't want to go to anywhere until she knew Lily and Alice were okay, so she stayed in her room and waited for them to wake up.

Alice opened her eyes first. "My head feels like someone took a hammer to it."

"So does mine," said Annabelle.

Lily stirred, her eyes still closed. "Did last night really happen?"

"I asked myself the same question," said Annabelle.

"Yes, I am afraid so," answered Alice.

Lily groaned. "How did it end so _badly_?"

"James had way too much to drink," said Annabelle.

Lily opened her eyes at the mention of James. "Did you get back all right?"

"We managed, but he was in quite a state. Do you remember dumping him?"

"Yes," she said softly. "And I meant it."

Annabelle nodded. She didn't want to say anything because knowing Lily, she might change her mind in a day.

"Maybe being apart will do you both some good," said Alice. "You'll feel better about yourself, and hopefully he'll learn a lesson from all of this."

"What should we do? I don't want to run into him. I know that inevitably I will have to see him, but right now, I just can't be near him."

"Well, it's too cold to stay outside all day," said Alice as she got out of bed. "And you are bound to see him at some point anyway."

Lily pulled her quilt over her head. "I'm staying here then."

"We could always go to the library," suggested Annabelle, who really didn't want to spend her Sunday in the library, but she couldn't think of any other option.

"That's a good idea," said Lily. "Goodness knows _they_ won't be there on a Sunday."

It dawned on Annabelle that neither girl was aware she and Sirius had kissed, or they would have mentioned it by now. They must have been too drunk and preoccupied to notice, and she was glad for some reason. Maybe because she knew they would get excited and ahead of themselves, when Annabelle herself wasn't even sure what it had meant. As usual she began to worry. Would he even remember it happening? Was it just a drunken snog? Would things be awkward between them? If their friendship was ruined due to a fleeting, alcohol-induced impulse… Merlin, what had they done? And why couldn't she stop thinking about him? It had been so wonderful she could hardly believe it hadn't happened in a dream.

Oh god, she couldn't face him.

The three of them hid from the boys all morning, but by lunch they were hungry and decided to venture into the Great Hall. The boys were not there, which was a huge relief. A few minutes later, though, James, Sirius, Remus, and Caradoc all strolled in looking rather bedraggled. James went with Caradoc and sat down at their former spot at the table as though they hadn't fought the night before, with no word to the girls, but Remus and Sirius stopped to inquire how they were feeling.

"Let's just say, now I know why you were taking it easy with the shots," Alice said to Remus.

"Someone had to remain vigilant," he said.

"What about you, Annabelle?" asked Sirius.

She met his eyes but abruptly looked away, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I feel fine," she answered. "Except for a headache. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," he replied. "But not as bad as Peter. He couldn't even get out of bed. Thought we were going to have to get Madam Pomfrey. He was sick all night."

Annabelle shook her head remorsefully, but she still couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," said Alice. "Lesson learned. I'm never doing that again."

Sirius gave Annabelle's shoulder a quick squeeze. "I guess we'll see you later."

She cast him a glance over her shoulder, but managed to avoid looking him in the eyes. "See you."

Sirius seemed to hesitate for a second before he and Remus walked away to join James and Caradoc. Just like that, their seating arrangements went back to the way they used to be.

Annabelle wasn't sure what she was supposed to make of any of it. Her rational self told her Sirius was only being supportive of his friend, but that he'd wanted to acknowledge her as well. No big deal. Her paranoid self stepped in and told a different story: that he regretted kissing her and was trying to let her down easy – making sure there were no hurt feelings.

"Look at that," grumbled Lily. "He beats Caradoc to a pulp, and the next day they're mates again. Boys are ridiculous."

"That they are," agreed Annabelle. "Let's get out of here. This awkwardness is doing my head in."

"No," said Lily, who didn't know Annabelle had her own reason for wanting to flee. "I've changed my mind. I'm not going to let him chase me away. I am going to go about my life and not give his presence a second thought."

When Johnny B. arrived, he made a beeline for the girls, but didn't sit down.

"Really?" he questioned them. "We're back to being segregated now?"

"We sat down first," said Alice. "They chose to sit over there."

"Where am I supposed to sit then? I'm so torn!"

"Go with them, Johnny," said Annabelle. "It's okay. We'll still love you."

"Fine, but I'm sitting with you at dinner."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After hanging out in their dorm room for the afternoon, the girls went to dinner where Johnny B. reported that James hadn't said much about the night before except to apologise to Caradoc for being a drunk arsehole. Other than that, he hadn't come out of his room all day. Again, the boys arrived after them, and they had to endure the uneasiness of them walking past instead of joining them. Annabelle glanced at Sirius and he smiled, giving her head a little touch as he passed. But he didn't stop to talk.

After dinner, the girls claimed the sofa in front of the fire with a few fifth-years while the boys sat at a study table on the other side of the common room. There were enough students about that they could easily ignore each other. Normally, Annabelle and Sirius would be doing their assignments at that very table. Rage welled up inside her when she saw Dominica waltz over to chat with them. She looked at Lily to see if she noticed, and had her answer as Lily narrowed her eyes. A few minutes passed before Dominica flounced away, back to her new friends. She shot Lily and Annabelle a smug look, obviously well pleased with the current turn of events. Alice discreetly made an offensive hand gesture at her, causing her to sneer and look away. Annabelle had had enough of the strangeness and decided to go upstairs, but Lily chose to stay put as long as Alice was there to keep her company. She was determined to show James she was over him, even though she clearly wasn't.

Annabelle glanced shyly at Sirius as she headed towards the girls' staircase. He was watching her, and mouthed the words, _"Good night."_ She waved clumsily in response, feeling her face burn as she hurried up the staircase.

"Am I imagining it or is Annabelle acting strange?" he asked the others.

"She has been rather quiet," said Remus. "I wonder why."

Even though he had been drinking the night before, Sirius had been completely aware of what they were doing, and he thought Annabelle had been too. His heart sank as he wondered if she regretted it now. If that was the case, and as much as he hoped it wasn't, he needed to let her off the hook. Either way, he couldn't spend another day like this one, with Annabelle distancing herself from him. Not knowing where he stood with her was driving him mad.

"I'm going to find out," he said. He got up and crossed the room, motioning to Alice.

She made her way over to him. "Hello, Sirius, everything all right?"

"Everything's smashing," he joked, since clearly everything was a mess, and she chuckled at his sarcasm. "Will you do me a favour and ask Annabelle to come back down for a moment? I need to speak with her."

"Sure. Be right back."

Annabelle was on her bed, trying to focus on her reading, her mind still consumed by the kiss when Alice popped in.

"Sirius wants to talk to you."

Her heart lurched in her chest. "About what?"

"How should I know? Should I tell him you'll be down to meet him?"

"Um… of course, I'll be down in a minute," she said, putting her shoes back on and running a brush through her hair.

She tried to breathe deeply as she walked down the stairs. So what if he regretted it? They could still be friends. It was only a kiss for Merlin's sake. An amazing, heartfelt kiss, but she would have to accept it if it meant nothing to him. As she stepped into the common room, she heard, "BOO!"

A piercing screech escaped her as she twisted round to see Sirius against the wall by the stairs, laughing hysterically. Other students were looking and laughing too.

She giggled a little, despite her embarrassment.

"Oh, Annie, it's too easy to frighten you," he said with a sigh, attempting to stop laughing.

"So..." she said, trying to relax but failing miserably. "Alice said you wanted to talk to me?"

"I do. Come with me?" he asked, holding out his hand.

She looked at him suspiciously, but took his hand, and he led her through the portrait hole and onto the landing of the stairs. Annabelle stood with her back against the wall, glad for its security. Her heart was pounding. He stood next to her, his arms crossed as he leaned with one shoulder against the wall. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Has your headache gone?" he asked cautiously, a friendly smile on his face.

"For the most part," she said, trying to sound as nonchalant as he looked. "Thanks for asking. Are you feeling better?"

"A bit," he said, nodding his head. There was a tense pause before he blew out a breath and asked, "Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember our kiss?" he asked, his posture growing stiffer.

"Yes. I wasn't that drunk," she replied steadily, trying not to give anything away until she knew where he was going with this.

"Was I too forward with you?"

"No, you were a perfect gentleman."

He paused again, looking down at the floor before looking back at her. "Do you regret it?"

Until she knew his answer to that question, she didn't want to answer it herself for fear that their answers wouldn't match.

"Do you?"

Sirius smiled. "Answering a question with a question I see. But I'll answer first since this conversation is clearly making you anxious. No, I do not regret it."

Annabelle just stood there like a bump on a log, not sure how to proceed. She was glad to know he didn't regret it, but it didn't mean he wanted to make a habit out of it either. And it certainly didn't mean he fancied her as more than a friend.

But Sirius took her silence as rejection. "Right. You do regret it," he said, turning forward and standing up straight. He looked back at her and said, "I'm sorry Annabelle. I hope this doesn't make things weird between us. It won't happen again, but you know that since you won't want to-"

"Wait," she forced out, shaking her head. "You're wrong about that. I don't regret it. Not at all. I thought maybe you had, since you were keeping your distance today."

"How could I not keep my distance when I barely saw you today? I thought you were purposely avoiding me."

"No. I mean…maybe I was, because I was embarrassed that you might be wishing it never happened, if you even remembered."

"How could I forget?" he asked, his eyes intent on her.

Something fluttered within her, and she felt her cheeks burn. "Lily and Alice don't know."

"Neither do the lads," he said with a roguish grin.

"It's kind of nice having a secret."

Sirius took her by the hand. "Follow me."

"Where are we going?"

"Away from potential interruptions."

He led her up the flight of stairs and turned down a darkened corridor, lit only by the ambient light from the foyer below. Since it was after nine o'clock, there was no one about but two of them. They didn't go far, hiding between two suits of armour just around the corner from the staircase. He took her other hand and led her to the wall.

"Would you like to continue where we left off last night?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

She closed her eyes as he took her face in his hands, slowly dotting her cheek with kisses. They felt like butterfly wings on her skin. She held on loosely to his forearms, the wall supporting her as he moved his hands to her waist, and again she felt something kindle inside her. His lips touched hers, and they kissed timidly at first, as one might test the temperature of the water before diving into the ocean. Neither was an experienced kisser, but it didn't matter; they were ready to learn from each other.

They paused for a breathless moment to gaze at each other, drowning in their heightened senses, and then she whispered his name in a way he hadn't heard it spoken before, a way that made his heart beat faster. She was real, and this was really happening. Nothing had ever felt so right in his life.

He pressed his lips to hers again, and they began kissing with greater confidence. Since their senses were not dulled by alcohol, it was even better than the night before. He squeezed her against him, trying to get her as close as possible. Distantly, his subconscious registered a sound, but he didn't want to think about it, wanting only to focus on her, the impossible euphoria of the moment, and this tenderness he didn't know was possible until they each shed their armour and let the other in.

Again, the strange sound. Annabelle's body had tensed so he figured she heard it too. They opened their eyes and separated their lips, listening closely.

There it was, louder. And since they were fully aware that danger might be lurking, they recognised it for what it was. It was the sound of doorknobs turning. Filch was doing a walk-through, checking to make sure everything was as it should be.

They looked at each other with wide eyes, Annabelle planting her hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp. Sirius slowly peeked round the suit of armour to see where he was exactly. He was halfway to them, and if they didn't make a move right then, they would most likely be discovered.

Sirius reached back and took her hand, whispering as quietly as he could so that she almost had to read his lips instead, "We will have to go _fast_."

She nodded as he looked round the suit of armour again, waiting for a moment when Filch was turned toward a door. He gave her hand a pull and they were off, scurrying round the armour, turning the corner to the staircase, and flying down the stairs to the portrait hole.

"Who's there?" Filch snarled, muttering a string of unpleasantries under his breath as he made his way to the staircase. By the time he arrived though, Sirius and Annabelle were gone, having made it back to the common room unseen.


	25. Come Out, Come Out

Annabelle and Sirius had assumed Lily and James would want to switch back to their former lab partners after their break-up, but Lily was determined to prove to James that she was unaffected by him, and James felt that switching back was too final, even though he did not tell Lily this. Though they were barely speaking, he reckoned there was still hope of reconciliation if they continued to be lab partners. Slughorn might have turned down the request for another switch anyway, which was what Sirius and Annabelle were secretly counting on in the event that Lily and James did want to change back to their original partners. Since meal times were back to being segregated, they didn't want to lose Potions as well.

But sitting right next to each other, barred from making contact, wasn't easy. So many times Sirius wanted to reach out and smooth her hair or take her hand. It was maddening forcing himself to look at Professor Slughorn instead of her. Annabelle felt the same frustration, and would occasionally cross her leg so that her foot brushed against his leg. He would smile, feeling like he might shatter from not being able to touch her.

They still hadn't told anyone, and as difficult as it was to keep something that big from their friends, they were enjoying being the only two privy to their affair. Also, and it may have been a more influential factor in their decision than they cared to admit, they didn't want to flaunt their feelings in front of a very depressed James and a hurting Lily. Finding ways to be alone was tricky though. They thought they'd been found out several times when one of their friends would give them a suspicious look over some odd errand they had to run together, or notice them exchanging prolonged looks one too many times in classes and at meals.

At dinner one evening, Annabelle and Sirius were practically having a conversation across the length of the table with their subtle expressions, and Alice noticed.

"What are you grinning about?" she asked.

"What? Me? Nothing," Annabelle replied, a bit startled.

"I see you looking over there," said Alice as she craned her neck to see who might be looking back.

"Alice, really, it's nothing."

"Come off it, Annie. Just snog him already."

Annabelle's eyes widened, but she grinned in spite of herself. "Merlin, Alice. Not this again!"

"Lily, maybe we should ask them to join us so Annabelle and Sirius can stop making googly eyes at each other."

Lily frowned at her plate. "They chose to sit there again, remember? They're all just doing what James wants, I'm sure."

"Maybe he's really embarrassed by how he behaved," said Annabelle. "I mean, I would be if I was him. And they are his best friends, so it's not like they're going to abandon him."

"You're right. I just feel bad that our seating arrangement seems to depend solely on whether or not James and I are getting along."

Annabelle couldn't argue with that, but she figured it wouldn't be permanent. Eventually, they'd talk it out, and at the very least, be friends or something like that. Or so she hoped.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The Hallowe'en Feast was the next night, and it just wasn't as fun as when they were younger. The boys were being their typical selves, hooting at the ghosts and generally showing off. Dominica, along with a giddy Septima, had gradually worked her way over to sitting with them. Dominica was making an effort to talk to James in front of Lily whenever she could, just to get Lily going as payback for saying she was jealous, Annabelle guessed.

Sirius excused himself from his mates saying he was going to the loo. He passed Annabelle and gave her back a tickle on his way out. Minutes later, Annabelle used the same excuse to meet Sirius at a broom cupboard a few floors up that they had agreed upon earlier that day. She rounded the corner and found him leaning against the door, his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. He guided her into the darkness and shut the door behind them. They hadn't found many opportunities to be alone together, so once the door clicked shut, they immediately started kissing. Annabelle had thought about bringing him to the secret tower she had discovered her first year, but she wasn't sure she was ready to share it just yet. She also had a feeling that if they started using it for their tryst they might end up going a bit further than she was ready for at that point, since they wouldn't be as worried about being caught. But the temptation was definitely there.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Dominica had also excused herself to the loo, just after Annabelle had. She followed her up the stairs and watched as she disappeared with Sirius Black into a broom cupboard. Dominica was a broom cupboard regular at Hogwarts, even more so that year. She had no justification for tattling on them, except that she had fancied Sirius for longer than Annabelle. Most girls had, but Dominica thought she was special, or entitled to him for the simple fact that she had been in the Quidditch groupie business the longest. She had already made her way through several of Hufflepuff's team that autumn, but she liked a challenge and Sirius was indeed a challenge, as he had seemed unreachable to mere mortals. The only one who had come close was Elsinore, that slag, but even the glorious Elsinore hadn't got very far.

Dominica knew that the only way she stood a chance with Sirius was to get Annabelle out of the way, and Elsinore, who had no idea that Dominica was interested in Sirius for herself, was the only person who wanted to run Annabelle off as much as she did. Dominica had dreamt about him all summer, even planning to make her move on him that year, but then he became friends with Annabelle. After that, he wouldn't even look at any other girl but her. All that time, she was convinced the pair was just friends. All that time, she had been foolish. Bitterness filled her, and she instantly ran to alert Mr. Filch.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Things were intense in the broom cupboard. Annabelle was torn; she didn't want to stop because, well, it was Sirius. His skin against hers, his breath on her neck, his hair tickling her shoulder that he had managed to expose... It was all so wonderful. The secret tower beckoned to her, yet the nagging little voice in her head that sounded vaguely like Professor McGonagall told her not to get in over her head. Don't grow up too fast. Don't give yourself away so quickly. She remembered once during her third year, a seventh-year named Drusilla imparted to the eager girls her worldly knowledge of how some boys were only interested in one thing, and would drop you like a hot potato after they got it, which was bad news for you if you had feelings for him. Annabelle didn't think Sirius was one of those boys, but how could she know? They hadn't even called each other boyfriend or girlfriend, and they certainly hadn't said the L-word yet, but she had all kinds of feelings for him. No, she would have to be the strong one, and make sure they didn't do anything they might regret later.

"Sirius," she whispered as he kissed her neck. "We should get back."

"You think so?" he whispered back, leaving a trail of kisses around her collarbone.

"Yes. We have to stop." She pulled away from him. "We've been gone too long."

"You're right, you're right," he said. They stood still for a moment catching their breath, then began fixing their clothes and helping smooth the other's hair.

"They're going to send a search party after us if we don't get back soon," Annabelle said awkwardly, trying to ease the transition back to reality as they left the cupboard.

"Annabelle, wait," he said. She turned round and she could see he was feeling uneasy about something.

When he hesitated, she said gently, "Go on then, out with it. What is it?"

"I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, so we can take our time," he said. "No pressure. It will give us something to look forward to."

Her stomach fluttered, and she smiled. "I like the sound of that."

She was relieved that he was okay with going slow, but why wouldn't he be? He wasn't in any rush or he'd have just accepted Elsinore's countless advances over the years, or Dominica's for that matter.

They kissed once more before heading back down to the Halloween festivities, Annabelle entering the Great Hall first, and Sirius just after her.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"It's that broom cupboard, Mr. Filch. They went in here," said Dominica. She took off down the stairs to hide, so Sirius wouldn't know it was her that told. Filch opened the door and shined his lantern inside.

"EMPTY!" he shouted. "If this is another prank, I'm not biting. I have a mind to report you for telling tales. What's your name?"

"Septima Scroggie," Dominica replied as she exhaled in defeat. She climbed back up the stairs. "They were in there, I promise! I'm not pranking you!"

"I've had enough of this broom cupboard nonsense. Time to lock them _properly_ , I say," he grumbled. Since he couldn't perform the magic himself, he would have to get someone else to charm the locks, making them impervious to Alohamora.

"What? Because of some crazy kids? Surely Mr. Filch, you don't mean that!" she protested. Instead of thwarting Annabelle and Sirius, she only ended up getting herself locked out broom cupboards in the future.

Filch ignored her and lurched away, muttering to himself and leaving her alone with her bitterness.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"That was a long trip to the loo," said Peter. "Did you fall in?"

Sirius responded by flicking a pea at him. It hit its mark right in the centre of his forehead, and everyone burst out laughing, forgetting that he had been gone too long.

Lily and Alice were also curious as to why Annabelle was gone so long.

"We almost came to see if you were okay," said Lily. "What happened?"

"The pumpkin juice was giving me an upset stomach," she lied. "Do I need to go into detail?"

"No, please don't," said Alice, and she put down her apple.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At Quidditch practice the next day, the team had decided they would get Annabelle comfortable with standing on her broom if it took all morning. Sirius had practised with her a few times already, but he had always instructed her to stay very close to the ground because he was afraid she would get hurt. The others were not so soft with her.

Sirius pulled James aside while the others demonstrated the proper technique for her again.

"I don't think she's ready for this," he said bluntly.

"That's why we are doing this, so she will be ready."

"It's a move some professionals have a hard time executing. I've worked with her on this before, and I really don't think she's ready for it."

"Look, I know you feel responsible for her, but she is playing now because she wants to, so how about you let her decide for herself if she's ready or not?"

James turned and rejoined the team, leaving Sirius frustrated. He figured the only thing he could do was see to it that she had a lot of practice to minimise her chances of falling. Very few people throughout history had died as a result of Quidditch injuries, but he didn't want Annabelle to be among them.

After a couple hours of intensive practice, Annabelle had managed to stand on the broom several times, but fell almost every time, once even missing her broom on the way down. Fairfax had been spotting her though, and caught her easily. They decided to call it quits for the day after that, as it had given them quite a scare. They had just enough time to get ready for class and grab a quick bite to eat before breakfast ended.

On their way to Transfiguration, Sirius asked Annabelle if Lily was still angry with James.

"Are you asking for him?" replied Annabelle.

"Yep, but before you say he can ask her himself, I am asking for me as well. I miss us all sitting together in the Great Hall."

Annabelle was comforted to know he was feeling the same. It felt kind of lonely without them. Dominica had moved down the table and had taken Septima and a few others with her weeks ago. Lorelei had been sitting with her boyfriend all year, so it was just the three of them now. Normally, that would be fine, but with Alice always pining away for Frank, Lily completely lost in her thoughts about James, and Annabelle with her mind on her secret, the three of them made for rather dull company.

"Maybe a little," Annabelle said, "but I think she is just feeling foolish. She trusted him, and you saw how he behaved."

"He's hurting too, you know."

"I believe you, but she's not going to wait around forever while he sorts himself out. And if he thinks he'll ever get her back by talking to Dominica in front of her then he has bigger issues than I thought. What is _that_ about?"

"I don't know, actually. She's been talking to us more lately because she says you girls won't talk to her."

Annabelle stopped walking and her eyes grew wide. "She said _what_?"

"I am just repeating what she said, Annie," he replied nervously. "Not taking her side."

"Well, she's lying to you. She's been nothing but nasty to us since ... you know what? Forget it. She wants me to bad mouth her so she can look innocent and I can look like the hag. Just forget it."

With that she walked into the classroom and went to her seat. Sirius wasn't sure what just happened, but Annabelle was upset, that much he knew. He wished he hadn't said anything about Dominica. After class was dismissed, Sirius watched as Annabelle crossed the aisle to her best friend and whispered in her ear. Lily's facial expression changed from curious to enraged and she looked directly at Sirius. He didn't know how to respond so he just shrugged and went about gathering his stuff. Lily stormed past him without a word, Annabelle at her heels.

Sirius had a bad feeling about the purposefulness with which they took off out of the room. He almost let it go, chalking it up to girl drama, but then he remembered that Dominica had been hanging around Elsinore and thought there might be more to it. He finished gathering his things and followed, stopping by the doorway to watch as the girls continued partway down the hall. He didn't want to get involved unless Annabelle specifically asked him too, but he also didn't want them inviting in trouble with Dominica and the Slytherins without any back up either.

"What's going on?" James asked as he approached the door.

"I honestly don't know. It involves Dominica though."

"What do they have against Dominica all of a sudden?"

"Again, I don't know the whole story, but they're pretty upset."

James sighed and shook his head, uninterested in what he assumed was just pointless in-fighting among the Gryffindor sixth-year girls. Sirius, on the other hand, had an ominous feeling about it. Annabelle and Lily weren't the types to get involved in petty rubbish with others. But if trouble had found them, he knew they wouldn't back down from it.

Lily was on a mission to confront Dominica then and there, but Dominica was nowhere to be found. Annabelle had to get to the library, but couldn't bear to leave Lily when she might do something crazy.

"Dominica!" Lily called. "Come out come out wherever you are!"

"Lily," said Annabelle calmly, taking her arm and pulling her over to her."She's gone. Listen to me."

"Calm down, Lil," said Alice. "Don't do anything with teachers everywhere."

"She has played her _last dirty game_ ," snapped Lily.

"I know," said Annabelle, "but I have to go to work and you really need to wait until I can be there too. You aren't going to have all the satisfaction without me!"

Lily took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Fine, I'll wait, but I am coming with you to the library in case she makes an appearance. I mean it, I am confronting her today if it's the last thing I do."

This gave Annabelle immense relief, since the thought of being trapped in the library while Lily was roaming the castle, seeking Dominica for a showdown was unsettling at best.

"I'd come, too, but Remus and I still have to finish our lab," Alice explained. "Are you two going to be all right?"

"Yes," said Lily, "But I can't say the same for Dominica."

 


	26. Ambush

The library showed no signs of Dominica. To pass the time, Lily helped Annabelle shelve books and patrol the study areas. The librarian let her go early since she finished everything in half the time with Lily's help, and there really wasn't much else to be done.

"Let's go find her," Lily said, who had been rather pensive while in the library.

Annabelle was having second thoughts. Not about confronting Dominica, since she had wanted to do that herself for some time, but she wasn't sure that hunting her down and cornering her was the right approach.

"Don't you think it's better have a plan?" Annabelle asked. "She's just going to be defensive, otherwise."

Lily's eyes grew tearful as she spoke. "Annie, she's just trying to hurt us. I can't let another person just walk all over me."

"But you know she's only doing it because she's jealous. She doesn't actually have a chance with James."

"I'm not so sure. He's a boy and she's attractive, and fun, and… well, you know… willing."

"Some boys want more than a quick shag," Annabelle said, firmly believing that not all boys would hook up with Dominica just because they could.

"Do you think they've..." she began, wincing a little, the words not easy to say, "...been together already?"

"No, Lily. I don't. James may be immature, but I don't think he's a total loss. He's still moping over you! Come on, let's go see if Alice is done with her lab assignment and find out what she thinks of all this."

They passed through the library's double doors into a large, sunny foyer and started toward the staircase. Dominica was coming down the stairs, alone.

Annabelle could not believe her timing. Lily immediately tensed, but Dominica seemed almost relaxed, she was so unfazed by the encounter. Like maybe she had been waiting for them.

"Are you two going to hex me or something," Dominica sneered as she reached the last step.

"No. That's something your Slytherin friends would do," Lily hissed.

Dominica smiled arrogantly.

"Why are you treating us like the enemy?" demanded Annabelle. "What did we do to you?"

Dominica chuckled, then mimicked Annabelle's question in a baby voice.

"Wow, thanks," said Annabelle. "Your metamorphosis from friend to bully is now complete. Congratulations."

"Oh please. You think you are the victims here? You both get your celebrity boyfriends and start acting like you own the place, but I am the problem?"

Lily and Annabelle stared at her as if she had two heads.

"How are we doing that?" Lily asked, genuinely confused. "I really want to know how either one of us is acting like we own the place."

"Oh come off it. You are both practically glued to the two most popular guys not only in Gryffindor, but in the entire school. You keep them on a string that you just yank whenever it suits your whims. Well, guess what? They deserve better than the likes of two mudblood snobs who don't really care about them. All you care about is being popular."

"What did you just say?" asked Annabelle.

"Which part?" Dominica spat.

"Did you just call us _mudbloods_?"

"So? You are. It doesn't matter than your grandfather was some big-time wizard. Your mother was squib and your dad was a muggle, which means you're not exactly the type Sirius Black is going to end up with. Come on, Annabelle, you don't actually think his family will ever accept you, do you? James Potter's family may be different, if Lily would stop using him as a doormat, but The Black Family doesn't play games with people like _you_."

Annabelle had so much she wanted to say to this pathetic, lost girl, that she didn't know where to begin. Aside from her cruel words, she also wondered why Dominica was implying that Sirius was her boyfriend, especially since they hadn't told anyone that they were more than just friends. Lily responded first, though.

"I use James as a doormat? How are you in any way qualified to make that assumption? You don't know the first thing about our relationship!"

"You mean your _former_ relationship," Dominica corrected.

"You don't know anything about Sirius, either," said Annabelle, feeling her rage starting to boil as she pointed her wand at Dominica. "And don't you _ever_ mention my grandfather again. Do you hear me? _EVER_!"

"No one knows Sirius like I do," a smooth voice drawled from the top of the stairs. Lily and Annabelle looked up to see Elsinore Collins, poised and elegant yet at the same time, fiendish with her teeth-bearing smile.

Annabelle figured out why Dominica had been so assertive and relaxed. She had Elsinore waiting in the wings. Who knew how many others she had lurking up the staircase.

"And he is only using you to upset his parents," the tall, waifish blond continued as she slowly made her way down the stairs. "It's only a phase, and he will snap out of it when he realises Mummy and Daddy will cut him off from the family fortune if he continues his little escapade with you. He's always been like that, doing things to rile them up. You are just pawn in a bigger game he's been playing for years."

Annabelle knew she was just trying to wind her up, but the words stung anyway. Letting Elsinore know she was succeeding in hurting her was another thing, and Annabelle was going to try like mad to maintain her composure.

"Keep telling yourself that," she replied, "if it makes you feel better. I know I'd feel pretty crappy as well, if I were you. I mean, your pure-blood prince rejected you. And he's never looked back."

"Don't be so sure," said Elsinore, her smirk fading.

"You are both pathetic," Lily blurted out. "You aren't even worth our attention."

She tried to pass but Dominica and Elsinore blocked the way.

"Move," Lily said, her eyes narrowed.

"Or else what?" Dominica asked.

Lily clenched her jaw. "Don't underestimate me."

Annabelle made a move to push past the two barmy girls and Elsinore grabbed her by the hair and yanked as hard as she could. Annabelle could feel her hair separating from her scalp and her instinctive response was to slap her in the face if for no other reason than to stop the pain.

Elsinore covered her face where Annabelle had slapped her and instantly, all four girls drew their wands. Annabelle and Lily tried to pass again, and this time the girls let them through. As Annabelle took a step, a voice rang out from above, " _Impedimenta!"_ Next thing Annabelle knew her face was smacking into the stone floor after being thrown several feet.

Lily cast Expelliarmus at the perpetrator, who turned out to be Malachi. He dodged it and she tried again, sending his wand flying. Elsinore and Dominica made a run for it but Lily and Annabelle attempted to stop them. Lily stupefied Elsinore, but Dominica immediately undid it. Annabelle managed to cast a spell that tripped Dominica, but they got away.

Lily rushed to Annabelle. "Are you okay?" she asked, and gasped when she saw Annabelle's cheek. She had hit the floor hard enough to cut her cheek open.

"That monster!" Lily exclaimed as she helped Annabelle up. "You need to see Madam Pomfrey."

Annabelle felt dizzy, but she didn't want to be fussed over. "It's just a scratch. What's the spell for scratches?"

"There are a few different ones. Let's let Madam Pomfrey decide which one. Besides, you hit your head pretty hard. The cut on your face may be the least of our worries. Come on," she insisted, steering Annabelle back the other way.

Potions was about to begin and Lily ran inside to discreetly inform Slughorn that she was taking Annabelle to the hospital wing because she fell and hit her face. Sirius and James exchanged confused glances as Lily left as quickly as she'd come in, and it occurred to them who else was missing from class. They both got up and rushed out of the room, not wasting a second to tell Slughorn where they were going. Remus and Alice had not arrived at class yet, probably still finishing their assignment, since they were behind due to the recent full moon.

"What's going on?" James asked Lily, glancing uneasily at Annabelle where she was leaning against the wall, hand over her face. "Is she all right?"

Sirius rushed to Annabelle's side.

"No, she's not," said Lily. "I am taking her to Madam Pomfrey." She narrowed her eyes at him. "I hope you're happy. Now you see what your little girlfriend Dominica and her new mates are capable of."

"Girlfriend?" James asked, bewildered. "What in the bloody hell happened, Lily?"

But Lily was so hurt, and so confused herself, that she pressed her lips together, resolving not to let him see her cry.

Meanwhile, Sirius was trying to get a get a glimpse of Annabelle's face.

"Annie? Can I see? Move your hand, Annabelle. Please."

He gently touched her hand and tried to pull it away but she turned her head away from him. He could see blood oozing out from under her hand.

His eyes widened, and he got in front of her. "Let me see, Annabelle," he said, his voice shaking with fury. She slowly brought her hand down, revealing the bleeding cut that had already started to swell.

"Who did this to you?"

Annabelle didn't answer. Sirius would go after him if he knew, and Malachi was dangerous. He wouldn't fight fair. He wanted to do real harm, or worse.

"Tell me, Annabelle," he said through gritted teeth.

"I fell on the stairs. Nothing a spell or two can't fix."

Lily pushed past Sirius and slung a protective arm round Annabelle. "I'm taking her to Madam Pomfrey. You'd better have a heart to heart with your darling Elsinore and your old pal Malachi, because he could have killed her the way he cursed her to the floor!" As she yelled, she jabbed her wand in the direction of the staircase they had used to escape, and Annabelle squeezed her eyes shut. At least Lily meant well.

"Malachi did this?" he asked.

"That's what I said."

There was a pause while Sirius let the information sink in. James, who had been standing a few feet away, had heard as well. The boys exchanged a glance which had communicated something between them, because James nodded and they both bolted in the direction Lily had unwittingly pointed them.

"Oh shite!" Lily cried out as she and Annabelle ran after them, her arm outstretched. "Wait! Stop!" But the boys had been quick and had a flight of stairs head start. Plus, Annabelle was still seeing stars from the fall, and had to stop a few times to regain her balance.

Sirius and James found Malachi, Elsinore, and Dominica a few flights up, most likely waiting for the coast to be clear so they could go to Potions with no trouble. The chaos was instant, wands outs, curses flying. Dominica ran away, probably to seek back up. Sirius had managed to disarm Malachi straightaway and summon his wand, but then Elsinore disarmed Sirius. Sirius wasted no time lunging for Malachi. As James aimed at Malachi, Elsinore disarmed him and sent his wand flying down two flights of stairs. He attempted to summon it back, but for some reason it wasn't working, so he ran downstairs to retrieve it.

Meanwhile Elsinore raised her wand and aimed it at Sirius, but because of his proximity to Malachi and the motion of their fighting, she couldn't get a straight shot. Instead, she jumped on Sirius's back and tried to pull him off of Malachi, going for the hair-yank again. Sirius hollered in pain as she ripped a chunk of hair from his head. In that moment, Malachi slugged him in the temple just as Annabelle and Lily made it to the landing.

Elsinore gave it all she had then, yelling melodramatically, "No Malachi, don't hurt him! Please Malachi, _stop_! Not Sirius!"

Annabelle knew that besides wanting to upset her, Elsinore also wanted Sirius to believe she was defending him so he wouldn't be angry with her. Annabelle hoped Sirius wouldn't fall for it, but Elsinore had planted a tiny seed of doubt in her mind earlier when she had said " _Don't be so sure."_ And everyone knows that when a seed is planted, chances are it will grow.

Sirius grabbed Malachi by the neck while Annabelle ferociously yanked Elsinore off Sirius' back and shoved her to the floor, causing her to drop her wand. Lily swiped it as James reappeared, muttering something about Peeves taking his wand. Elsinore ran, but Lily stupefied her just as Dominica returned with Otto Mingus. Lily aimed at them and manage to immobilise Otto. Dominica was about to send a spell in Lily's direction, but Remus came from behind with Alice and stupefied her.

In all the chaos, Sirius was still on top of Malachi against the stairs, his hands wrapped round the Slytherin's neck. Malachi had got a few more punches in, but Sirius wasn't letting go.

Annabelle knelt beside him as Remus tried to pull him off of Malachi. In a soothing voice, she said, "Let go of him, Sirius. He's pathetic and a waste of our time. Just let go."

James aimed his wand at Malachi's face as Annabelle put her hands over Sirius's hands and began to pry them loose. At her touch, his grip on Malachi's neck slackened, and he jumped back, like even he couldn't believe what he might have done if he hadn't been stopped. James froze Malachi as soon as Sirius had moved away. Then he cursed them all with _Locomotor Mortis_ , ensuring that when the curses wore off, their legs would be locked and they wouldn't be able to move for a time.

"We should get out of here, now," said Alice, who upon arriving at class and seeing them all missing, had known trouble was brewing. She'd dragged Remus along, convincing him that it was urgent. "We're going to have detention for skiving off Potions, so you all know."

"It was worth it to humiliate that fuckwit," James replied.

They descended the stairs, and Lily ushered Annabelle to Madam Pomfrey.

"You should come with us, Sirius," Lily called over her shoulder. "Your face is pretty messed up."

"I'll fix it for him," James said. "He'll be fine."

"Suit yourselves!"

As Alice predicted, the lot of them got detention for cutting class, along with Dominica, Elsinore, and Malachi. Annabelle and Lily did not, however, because Slughorn was under the impression they were with Madam Pomfrey the entire time. Otto Mingus was exempt as well, because he was a year ahead of them and not in their Potions class.

McGonagall was beyond disgusted with them, keeping them in her office for almost all of lunch and trying to elicit from them what had led them to miss class. Much to her frustration, the only response she got was from James who swore they had not been up to anything devious, especially with those toe-rags, referring to Malachi, Dominica, and Elsinore. Because they wouldn't explain themselves, she tacked on an extra day.

While their friends were being interrogated, Annabelle and Lily had gone to lunch. Johnny B. came to sit with them along with Peter, Caradoc, and Fairfax, all of them eager to be filled in on the drama. It felt stupid not to sit together when it was only the few of them and there was no indication of when McGonagall would be liberating the others from her clutches.

Johnny B. was disappointed in the news about Dominica crossing over to the dark side. Peter was upset that he missed the brawl, but was pleased he didn't have to do detention. About fifteen minutes before lunch was over, the detainees entered the Great Hall, faces downcast, but healed. Dominica quickly scurried off to her seventh-year friends, and Elsinore and Malachi went directly to the Slytherin table.

Sirius sat down next to Annabelle, not checking if James was okay with it. Apparently he was, since he sat down across from him without protest, and just like that, the boys went back to sitting with the girls. The only difference being that Lily and James no longer sat next to each other.

"How's your face?" Sirius asked Annabelle, inspecting her cheek.

"A lot better now. Yours looks better too. Good work, James."

"Thanks," he said. "I think I'll start covering for Madam Pomfrey when she's not here. Think Dumbledore will hire me? Healer James Potter, at your service."

"Don't quit your day job," said Peter, trying to be funny, but making little sense as usual.

James ignored him. "Are you going to tell us what happened?" he asked Annabelle.

"Dominica and Elsinore were waiting for us near the library," she began, but James interrupted.

"They were waiting or you went looking for them?"

"We were planning to look for Dominica to find out why she was spreading lies about us, but we decided to wait until we had thought it through some more. But they were waiting for us, with Malachi hiding further up. They wouldn't let us pass."

"They ambushed you, those dirty -" said Caradoc, proceeding to call them every dirty word he could think of.

"What the hell is Dominica's problem?" asked Peter. "When did she turn into such a crusty little hag?"

"She might have always been one," retorted Lily. "It's just showing now."

She got up and walked out of the Great Hall, not able to stomach anymore talk of Dominica.

"I am not sure she _always_ was one, but she certainly is one now," said Annabelle. She didn't want Lily to be off on her own after what had happened. "I'm going to catch up with Lily. See you in class."

Annabelle felt some relief because her afternoon class wasn't shared with Slytherin, but she still couldn't focus. She was too busy thinking about the fight, and how Sirius had, well, annihilated Malachi. It scared her a little, but what scared her more was what Malachi and company would do to seek revenge. She also couldn't get that voice out of her head, the voice of Elsinore to be exact, telling her Sirius was just using her to upset his parents and not to be sure that he hadn't looked back after he dumped her when they were twelve. And how Elsinore had put on that act for Sirius, crying for Malachi to stop… Annabelle never liked her, but never had a reason to loathe her either, until she did.

Sirius couldn't stop thinking about the events of the morning either. Seeing Annabelle bleeding, knowing Malachi had attacked her; it made his blood boil. And it also caused him terrible guilt, because Malachi was Sirius's problem to deal with, his enemy alone. Elsinore was his problem, no one else's. Now they were Annabelle's problem, too.

He pictured her in his mind - his beautiful Annabelle with blood running down her cheek. He felt like he was directly responsible for the cut on her face. And they hadn't even told anyone they were… whatever they were. Dating? If you could call an occasional trip to the broom cupboard or an empty classroom a date. Friends with benefits? Merlin, he hoped not. It was so much more than that to him; _she_ was so much more than that, but she was always so careful, so he held back from telling her how he felt, maybe to protect himself too. He began to wonder if being together was a good idea at all, because she wasn't safe anymore, and all because of him.

 


	27. A Juvenile Game

Frosty October had given way to a fleeting rise in temperatures, and November felt more like May for a few days. Another match was approaching, this one against Ravenclaw, and Annabelle was still not doing well with standing on her broom, even though half their practice time was spent helping her. Again, she was distracted, and unlike her teammates who seemed to be able to separate personal problems from the pitch, she couldn't control the intrusive thoughts nagging at her.

She admonished herself to stop, that Elsinore was winning if she started having misgivings about Sirius. She tried to bury the seed of doubt that had already taken root and begun to sprout leaves. She told herself to forget it, to focus on what's in front of her- the sunshine, her team, her friends, standing on the bloody broom and not falling. But the harder she tried, the more impossible it became to block it out.

Sirius could feel a distance forming between them. He briefly wondered if it was for the best, at least for the time being, because it might make her less of a target for his enemies. But the thought of losing her was killing him inside. He had meant to ask Lily why she had referred to Elsinore as "his darling." Was that the impression people had? That Elsinore was somehow his? He didn't ask though, because he wasn't sure he could stomach her answer. Besides, he was more concerned with what Annabelle thought of him, and if she also thought of Elsinore as "his." Nothing could be further from the truth.

The two of them trailed behind the rest of the team as they headed in for dinner, and he took her hand.

"I miss you," he said.

Her hand tightened around his. "I'm right here."

He stopped with her just outside the Great Hall. "I know, but… well… something feels different," he explained. "And you're not telling me what you're thinking, and it's driving me mad."

Merlin, he looked so sad and dejected, Annabelle thought as he held her hand tightly. Was this the face of a manipulator? The face of game player? Of a boy in love with someone else? She didn't think so, and she felt a pang of guilt for ever believing it was possible that he could be using her. For a moment she forgot about Elsinore and only saw Sirius, uncertainty written all over his perfect face.

"I'm thinking how irresistible you look with that sweet little frown," she answered.

He smiled a little, and she slipped her arms round him in a hug. He gave into the urge to squeeze her back, even though he was worried the wrong people might notice.

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me again," he said softly. "I can't get the image of your cut face and what he did to you out of my mind..."

"I'm fine, Sirius. Really. The cut is healed."

"Maybe we should be more careful."

She lifted her head up to look at him, arms still wrapped tightly around him. "Careful? We've been hiding this… this thing we're doing for weeks now from everyone. We'd have to stop speaking to each other for them to think I wasn't associating with you anymore. And I can't do that. Can you?"

"No, I can't, but Annabelle, he could have-"

"Are you trying to get rid of me? Because, unless you're telling me you're finished with me, I guess we're in this together. I'm not letting you go."

"I will never be finished with you," he said, grinning in his roguish way. But then his brow furrowed again and he asked, "What is it we're doing, Annie? I mean, what is it to you?"

Again with the questions she'd hoped he would answer first. She unlocked her arms from around his waist, taking one of his hands instead.

"What is it to you?" she asked.

He grinned again. "You are so predictable when you're nervous. Okay, I will answer first. To me?" He hesitated, unsure if he should say the words on the tip of his tongue. He decided not to, but chose to say another truth instead. "I think of you as my girlfriend, which is rather uncomfortable because I don't know if you think of me as your boyfriend."

She smiled bashfully, her cheeks burning. "Wonder no more. I am happy to inform you that if you think of me as your girlfriend, then I most definitely think of you as my boyfriend."

He took her other hand and laced his fingers through hers as she leaned her head into his chest, hiding her huge smile. This kind of awkwardness was delicious, though, and he smiled as well. When she finally looked up at him again, she said, "And I don't care who knows."

He needed to kiss her, and just as their lips met, they heard a familiar voice cry out, "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS?"

They jumped apart as Johnny B. charged over to them. He'd just come from the loo where he'd obviously been fixing his flawless hair, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, eyes wide with excitement.

"Were you two about to do what I think you were about to do?"

"Johnny B., relax. I kiss my mates on the lips all the time," Sirius joked.

"You _were_ going to kiss! This is too much!" He pulled them into an exuberant hug. When he let them go, he declared, "It's about fucking time."

Annabelle and Sirius exchanged knowing glances. Johnny B. did the math. "Wait, this isn't the first time, is it?" he asked, proud of his sleuthing skills. "The smouldering looks, the disappearing together, the napping-"

"Not the napping. That was… before," Annabelle corrected him.

"Are you going to tell everyone? Please say yes, because this is a secret I don't want to keep to myself."

"We aren't going to hide it anymore," said Annabelle, "but I don't think there's a way to tell everyone without sounding corny."

"Right," agreed Sirius. "We aren't going to make an announcement or anything."

Johnny B.'s face lit up. "I have an idea. Let's go in, but don't act like anything is any different. Just go along with what I say, yeah?"

Annabelle and Sirius looked at him like he was not to be trusted.

"Please? Come on. You think they don't care, but these people have been waiting for you two to get together for months now. This is going to blow their minds!"

"Fine, but don't embarrass us," ordered Annabelle.

"Never," he said, "And remember, no snogging or anything cute until I'm done."

Sirius and Annabelle took their seats at the table together between Remus and Lily, who now had Peter on her other side instead of James. Johnny B. was still across from them with Fairfax and James on one side, Alice and Caradoc on the other.

"Where were you?" James asked them.

"I can see from Johnny's perfect coiffure that he was in the loo fixing his hair," observed Fairfax.

"Ooh, ten point vocab word," said Remus, and Fairfax high-fived him.

"Where were the _two_ of you, then," James rephrased, peering at Sirius and Annabelle.

"Yes, good question," Lily said, almost scolding them. "You know those monsters could be lurking about, waiting for another chance to pounce."

"Sorry to scare you, Lil," said Annabelle. "We were just outside the door talking, that's all."

After a few minutes, Johnny B. said, "Who wants to play a game?"

"What kind of game?" asked Peter.

A devilish expression crossed Johnny B.'s face. "Truth or Dare. Only I ask all the questions."

Everyone laughed at his suggestion like it was the dumbest idea they'd ever heard.

"What are we? Twelve?" asked Alice. "That game is so juvenile."

"Not only that, but we are in the Great Hall," said Peter. He pointed to the front of the room. "That's Dumbledore up there with the long white beard, our headmaster, in case you haven't met him yet."

"Don't be so dull," Johnny B. said. "Having the staff present just makes it that much more interesting. And we're still juveniles so we are still allowed to play Truth or Dare."

Everyone acted put out, but Johnny B. wouldn't take no for an answer. "It can be a short game," he negotiated.

"All right all right, let's give it chance," said Caradoc, warming up to the idea. "It might be hilarious."

"Only if you have to play as well at some point," said Lily to Johnny B.

"You can ask me the question, okay Lily?" he assured her. She nodded and he responded emphatically, "That's the spirit! You're all playing, and that's final."

Alice rolled her eyes and Remus chuckled, shaking his head.

"Starting with you Alice, since you seem really excited to play," Johnny B. began. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," she muttered.

"Who have you kissed other than Frank Longbottom?"

She blushed, but answered. "Silvester Glossop and Tobias Latham."

"What? I didn't know you kissed Tobias!" said Annabelle. "He was in Hufflepuff, wasn't he?"

"Yes," she replied flatly, already bored by the game. "It was during a game of Truth or Dare, actually. It was the dare I was given."

"Next," Johnny B. said, "Skipping over to Remus. I'll come back to you two," he said to James and Fairfax. "Remus, Truth or Dare?"

Remus thought about it for a moment before answering, "Truth."

"Do you fancy Claire Shaw?" Johnny B. asked.

Apparently Sirius and Annabelle were not the only ones who had noticed. Remus turned beet red and his smile faded quickly. He was so embarrassed that Annabelle's heart hurt looking at him. She was about to suggest asking him something else, when he looked up at Johnny B.

"Yes."

"Aww. I knew it!" Johnny B. cooed. "Don't be embarrassed, she's so adorable. We need to get our claws into her, stat. Ladies? _Operation Bring Claire Over to the Red and Gold Side_ has begun."

"Sure thing, boss," said Lily. "She seems like a nice person."

"Yeah, I think you'd be charming together," said Annabelle, reaching around Sirius to give Remus's shoulder a little rub. She hated how uncomfortable he'd been with the question, but Remus smiled a bit now that his admission had been met with approval and not ridicule.

"Okay, moving on… _Sirius_." Johnny B. couldn't conceal his smile. Sirius had already figured out his agenda, and grinned, knowing what was coming.

"Truth or dare, and you'd better say truth."

"Well I wouldn't say dare and risk getting yet another detention, so truth," Sirius replied.

"How many times have you kissed Annabelle this year?"

Everyone looked puzzled by the question.

"What a waste of a question," mumbled Peter.

"Shhh, let him answer," scolded Johnny B. "Come on, how many times?"

Sirius' brow knitted as he put a finger to his lips, contemplating the answer. "That's a tough one, because if I'd been counting, I'd have lost track by now."

There was a momentary lull as what he said hit home, and then came the reaction Johnny B. had eagerly anticipated.

Lily jerked her head toward Annabelle. "Have you and Sirius been kissing?"

"What in the world," Alice said, glancing at Sirius, like she wasn't sure if she'd heard correctly.

"Merlin's bloody beard, I knew it," said James as he threw his napkin on the table.

"I caught them red handed, or red lipped rather, right outside," Johnny B. informed them all.

"Why didn't you tell Alice and me?" Lily asked giddily. "You knew we'd be thrilled!"

"I know," she said in a quiet voice to Lily. "But with James, and you've been so sad…"

"True, but I can still be excited for you! When did this start?"

Alice piped up, "Yeah, when did this start? I am dying to know the answer to that."

Remus answered for them. "The night we sneaked out to Moore's. Am I right?"

"You saw?" Annabelle asked, completely blindsided.

"Apparently I was the only one sober enough to be paying any attention."

"That long?" said Lily. "I can't believe you kept it a secret for that long."

"They're good at keeping secrets," James said. "That's for sure."

"Are you officially a couple now?" Lily whispered to her again.

Annabelle nodded, grinning in spite of her utter embarrassment and the dire need to change the subject.

"Okay, let's move on, now. It's someone else's turn," said Lily, glad to help get the spotlight off of her self-conscious friend and Sirius, who didn't seem embarrassed at all, but not before whispering to her, "We are going to get the details later, my cheeky Annie."

"Eh. I didn't really want to play that juvenile game," said Johnny B. "It was just a way to expose these lovebirds' secret."

"Well, I still want my turn," said James.

"And I purposely skipped _you_ and Fairfax because I knew you'd pick dare and the game would be over before it started," said Johnny B. "But if you really want a turn, truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course," he replied. Sirius and Remus were already laughing, knowing Johnny B. would come up with something absolutely ridiculous and that James would actually do it.

Johnny B. thought for a moment and said, "Okay. I dare you to hop up on the table and yell out ' _I love pumpkin juice!_ ' then guzzle the whole pitcher of juice, right down to the last rusty drop, all while standing up there, gyrating your hips in a circle."

Now everyone was laughing and he hadn't even done it yet. James, never one to turn down a dare, climbed up onto the table. Johnny B. handed him the pumpkin juice.

"If I get a detention for this you will be wearing a pitcher of pumpkin juice, just so you know," he warned Johnny B., who wasn't swayed by James' idle threats.

"I think this game is finally going to end," said Alice, noticing McGonagall looking their way.

James cleared his throat, but started laughing again.

"Just do it," urged Johnny B. Students had begun looking over, a few even hooted at him, encouraging him to perform. He cleared his throat again.

"I… LOVE… PUMPKIN JUICE!" he called out authoritatively, and as Johnny B. instructed, he gulped down the entire pitcher while gyrating his hips like he was rotating an invisible hula hoop. He added a loud burp at the end for effect.

Everyone doubled over laughing, hardly breathing, tears rolling down their faces, as he hopped down casually, like he did this type of thing all the time, and sat back down. Others students were laughing as well and some just stared like they were bewildered by it. Hagrid was chuckling from the front of the room, shaking his head as if to say, _"Those crazy kids!_ " Even Lily was laughing. She couldn't help it. James timidly regarded her from across the table with a blink and a subtle nod, happy to see her happy.

Just then, McGonagall walked by. As she passed, she uttered in a low voice, "Twenty points from Gryffindor."

This put a stop to their mirth, but only for a moment. As soon as they made eye contact with each other, it began again.

"At least it's not another detention," Remus said.

"Cheers to that," agreed James, holding up the empty pumpkin juice pitcher in a mock toast.

Annabelle caught Johnny B.'s eye and she smiled at him. He had been right. It was an interesting way to end their secret. He winked and smiled back.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That Saturday was their second Quidditch match against Ravenclaw. It had taken three hours for Annabelle to catch the Snitch during their first match with them, and she hoped it didn't take as long this time. She wanted the game to end quickly so she could be with Sirius. She still sometimes felt like it couldn't be real, not necessarily because he was _thee_ Sirius Black, gorgeous Quidditch god, but because saying they had not even liked each other two and a half months ago was an understatement. She never thought they would have a conversation, let alone be friends. And now he was her boyfriend? It was a lot to wrap her mind around, but she couldn't get enough of him, and the sooner the game ended, the sooner she could be in his arms.

Just before the game, she found herself growing wistful. Standing in their station, watching her teammates psyching themselves up for the match, she couldn't help but feel pure adoration for all of them. They had managed to endear themselves to her in spite of her previous assumption that they were simply dumb jocks, and she felt privileged to be standing there with them and to call herself their teammate. What started out as a crazy idea had turned into a most surprising adventure. She still wasn't keen on playing Quidditch; she didn't think she ever would be, but she could never intentionally let them down now.

Then she heard the crowd roar, which signalled that the other team had taken the pitch, and her stomach gave its customary lurch, ripping her out of her reverie. _Please don't barf, please don't barf, please don't barf_ , she begged herself, still humiliated over puking before their first game of the season.

Fairfax put his hand on her back and said, "You all right, Annabelle?"

"Annie," Johnny B. said. "Relax. This is a breeze, remember?"

Sirius smiled because this was her thing apparently. It was no longer a Quidditch match if Annabelle wasn't frozen in her shoes like she was about to do battle with a Chinese Fireball.

He came up behind her and gave her a quick shoulder rub, saying in her ear, "It's just a game, Annabelle. Win or lose, it's just a game."

She nodded and swallowed hard, and then they took the pitch.

Thirty minutes later, after Gryffindor scored several times against Ravenclaw, but before Ravenclaw could manage to get even one Quaffle into the hoops past Sirius, Annabelle caught the Snitch. It was the fastest game of all the houses that season. She almost felt bad about catching it so soon, like maybe the crowd wanted more, but she saw her chance and she took it. Again, relief flooded her, especially since she hadn't been required to stand on her broom to get the job done.

Back in their station, celebratory high-fives and well-dones were exchanged, as well as a kiss between the Keeper and Seeker. As they began filing into the changing room, James caught Annabelle's arm. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah, sure," she replied, taken off guard. "What's going on?"

He leaned against the wall opposite her and shook his head, looking down at his feet while he gathered his thoughts. Annabelle waited patiently, wondering if he was okay. He looked bereft, like someone told him his pet owl had died or something.

Finally, he lifted his head. "She hates me, doesn't she?"

It was about Lily, of course. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw a tear in his eye. Or maybe it was sweat. No, it was a tear.

She shook her head. "No, James, no. I don't think she could ever hate you."

"I know why she dumped me. I mean, I understand why. It's just, I think I got scared, you know?"

Annabelle shrugged one shoulder. "That's understandable."

"But I was foolish to be scared. Because it's so much worse without her. It's like the lights have gone out and I'm just wandering around in the dark."

James Potter, a poet? This was not the James she knew standing before her.

"Ahh, James, I wish you'd tell her that. She thinks you've moved on."

"With who?" he asked incredulously.

Annabelle gave him a look and he squinted in disgust. "Dominica? Are you for real?"

"It's just that she's been hanging around you a lot, so Lily thought-"

"I did not hook up with Dominica, I _promise_ you," he said emphatically. "She's a troublemaker - I see that. I am not as ignorant as you girls might think."

Annabelle was about to say she didn't think he was ignorant, but he continued. "Please, when you see Lily, give her this." He handed her an envelope. "And I know you will all read it, so don't influence her by laughing at it, all right?"

"I won't laugh," replied Annabelle, not denying that she'd be reading it later, since Lily would make her and Alice read it, and then they'd analyse it to pieces. "But why can't you talk to her about this?"

"I just want to get it all out there, you know. No interruptions, no fumbling for words…"

"Right. I will give it to her after lunch. Is that good?"

"Perfect. And thanks, Annabelle."

"You're welcome," she said, and turned to go.

"One more thing," he said, walking over to face her as she turned back around. "I'm sorry I was an arse to you before, you know... for the last few years. I had a lot to learn about how to treat people, and it was wrong. And I'm not saying that because you're going out with my best mate. I mean it."

"It's forgotten already," she said, a small pang in her heart signalling the official end of the cold war between them. "Turns out you're not as bad as I thought you were, so, it's all right." She gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.

"Just so you know, I think you're a wicked Seeker, and I'm now pleased to say, a friend as well."

"That means a lot to me coming from you, Captain."

"Don't let it go to your head, O'Neill. Don't want you getting arrogant about your talents. Pride cometh before a fall and all that."

She laughed, and said, "You have nothing to fear there, about the pride anyway. Not so sure about the fall."

He gave her a clumsy one-armed hug round the shoulder and they went to their respective changing rooms. Annabelle was beguiled by their conversation. She had always wondered what Lily saw in him. At least she'd gotten a glimpse of the James her best friend loved so much. Underneath all that bravado he was a little puppy dog. Much to her surprise, she found herself rooting for him, hoping he'd get the girl back.

 


	28. Dear Lily

"You really wanted the match to end quickly, didn't you?" teased Sirius as he lay in the grass next to Annabelle, enjoying the burst of warm weather one last time before winter shrouded the grounds in white.

"The sooner it ended the sooner I could be here with you," she replied.

He turned over and kissed her cheek, then her nose, then her lips. He moved slowly to her neck, blind to anyone else but her.

"Behave yourself, Mr. Black," she said in her best imitation of Professor McGonagall. "Or I will have to paddle you." She reached behind him and gave his bum a smack.

"You are only encouraging me with your questionable behaviour, Miss O'Neill. Ten points from Gryffindor for that."

Annabelle laughed. "If that's the case, then I think Gryffindor might have negative points by the time this year is over."

"I hope so." He brushed her hair off her forehead and kissed her again.

"Oi, you two!" Johnny B. called from where he and Remus had been tossing a Frisbee back and forth. "Come up for air! It's lunchtime!"

"We'd better go," said Annabelle, reluctantly extracting herself from his arms. "I have to give Lily something anyway."

After lunch, Annabelle hurried Lily and Alice up to their room. No one else was there, so she thought it was the perfect place to give Lily the letter, away from busybodies that might be skulking about.

"What's going on?" Lily asked as she sat on her bed next to Alice.

"Okay," began Annabelle. "I was asked if I would deliver this letter to you." She handed it to Lily.

Lily looked at the envelope with her name scrawled over the front and recognised the handwriting instantly.

"James," she said, looking up.

Annabelle nodded. "He pulled me aside after the match. He seemed really down, Lil."

"Why can't he just talk to me?"

"Oddly enough, I asked him that. He said he wanted to get it all out, without interruptions or fumbling for words."

"Open it, Lily," said Alice. "This ought to be very interesting."

"One more thing," said Annabelle. "If you decide to share it with us, which I know you will, there is no laughing permitted. I think whatever's in that letter is rather important to him."

Lily nodded thoughtfully and walked over to a window to read the letter. Annabelle and Alice waited patiently. When she was finished, she turned back toward the girls with tears in her eyes.

"Well? What did he say?" Alice asked.

Lily tossed her the letter and sat down next to Annabelle.

"Shall I read it out loud?" Alice asked.

"Yes, please," said Annabelle, unable to stand the suspense, but then asked Lily, "Is that all right?"

Lily nodded and wiped her tear-streaked face on her sleeve. Alice began to read:

**_Dear Lily,_ **

**_Here goes nothing. I am writing you a love letter. Before you start laughing and telling your friends how ridiculous I am, please, just read it all the way through._ **

**_I've been a knobhead. A total and complete imbecile. I know this, Lily, and I am ashamed of it. Let me elaborate. I have wanted to be with you for so long. Sometimes I thought you felt the same. But I was always the problem. I don't think I was ready. I didn't have a clue how to be a proper boyfriend to you._ **

**_It's not easy going from a carefree kid, mucking about and getting into trouble with your mates, to being almost finished with school and aware of how things change when that happens. There are a lot of scary things going on in the world right now and part of me would like to never face them. I'm sure most people our age feel the same._ **

Here, all three girls nodded in empathy as Alice continued.

**_Then you finally decided to give me a real chance. You saw something in me that made me worthy of your time, attention, and love. I am going to be completely honest here. I panicked. Being in a real relationship with this clever, beautiful, and caring girl made me feel so unsure of myself, like some daft, inexperienced kid, convinced I was going to muck everything up with you. And I did._ **

**_It was wrong of me to brush you off in Hogsmeade. It was wrong to ignore you at Moore's and then punish Caradoc for paying attention to you. I should have been thrilled that you called me "sweetheart" instead of embarrassed and cruel about it. I wanted to hang onto to the past, while keeping you in the wings in case I had an epiphany of some sort and suddenly figured out what I was doing. Now I know that's not how it works. All the while, I knew you deserved someone who didn't just play at relationships, but I couldn't let go. And still, I don't want to let go, even if I must._ **

**_I know you need time, and I probably do, as well. But it kills me knowing you think badly of me, that you regret me somehow. I hate being the person who hurt you and I regret not giving you my whole heart, the way you gave me yours. I wanted to, I really did. I still do, Lily. My heart has always been yours for the taking and it always will be. Instead of pushing you away, I should have opened up to you, told you my fears, and maybe we could have faced the future together. I hope there is some part of you that still loves me, because I am lost without you._ **

**_All my love,_ **

**_James_ **

No one spoke for a minute. Alice and Annabelle wore frowns, their brows furrowed and their eyes averted to the floor. Lily sniffled and wiped her eyes on a handkerchief.

Finally, Alice said, "Wow."

Lily nodded, then looked to Annabelle.

"Wow indeed," Annabelle said. "Bless his heart. That had to be so difficult for him."

"Do you think he wrote it himself?" asked Lily.

"Yes," said Annabelle emphatically.

"You do? Because if he did then what the heck am I going to do about it?"

"He did write it," affirmed Annabelle, as she remembered her conversation with James the Poet, wandering in the dark. "I have no doubt."

"Well, I certainly don't feel like laughing at it, so he's safe there," said Alice. "That really changes things, doesn't it?"

Lily shrugged one shoulder. "I don't know. I have to think about this. I mean, he basically said what I had been hoping he'd say when we were together. Like, maybe he gets it now. But then again, if I get my hopes up, and he still pushes me out… I don't think I can go through it again."

Annabelle didn't know what to say. James had completely opened up in the letter. Everything they'd speculated over in regards to his waffling back and forth with Lily was confirmed by James himself. He admitted he was scared, but that he wanted to let her in. It all sounded legitimate to Annabelle, and she was tempted to tell Lily to take him back. Give him another chance. But she knew Lily was scared now as well, scared of having her heart dragged through the dirt again. It was complicated.

"I think you should sleep on it," said Alice. "Maybe for a few nights, or a week, or as long as you need."

"But I can't just ignore it. I have to acknowledge the letter, don't I?"

"You can talk to him," offered Annabelle. "Tell him you read it, but you need some time. Meanwhile, you can start speaking to him again at least. Be friends. You'll figure it out eventually."

"That's a good plan." She sat up straight, wiped her tears, and composed herself. "I'm going to find him right now. Put him out of his misery."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The boys were in the courtyard when the girls arrived. Sirius and James were playing with the Frisbee, which they had pilfered from the Muggle Studies classroom years ago. They had charmed it to make it go superfast when thrown, which added an aspect of danger and difficulty to the game. Annabelle was hesitant to step onto the grass for fear of it slicing her head off.

When James saw Lily hanging back after Alice and Annabelle had gone to sit down with their friends, he tossed the Frisbee to Sirius and jogged over to meet her. They decided to find a place to talk in private.

"Catch, Annabelle," said Sirius as he threw the Frisbee to her. She screamed like she'd seen a doxy as it cut through the air, but she managed to reach out and grab it before it could hit her.

"That's our Seeker!" announced Johnny B. "She catches Snitches, she catches Frisbees. What can't she catch?"

"A break from extreme wizarding sports, apparently," she replied. "That thing could have decapitated me!"

Sirius was cracking up. It always amused him how easily she startled. "Is a Frisbee decapitating you anything like a doxy biting your face off?"

"Yes, because they are both things I'd like to avoid," she answered, but grinned when Sirius winked at her. "I've already reached my danger quota for the year, so who wants this thing?"

"I'll try it," said Alice.

"It would just bounce off your head, Annabelle, maybe even give you a concussion, but its edges are too dull to decapitate you," explained Peter.

She tried not to laugh at how earnestly he could talk about Frisbees bouncing off heads. "That's good to know," she said, humouring him as she carefully handed the magical Frisbee to Alice.

After a few passes back and forth, it was apparent Alice was terrible at catching it, but great at throwing it. Sirius actually missed it a few times in order to dodge it, she was throwing it so hard.

"Alice, be gentle. You could decapitate me!" he teased.

Annabelle grinned and rolled her eyes. Suddenly Johnny B.'s hand was on her arm. She looked at him, but he was looking at a pair of girls entering the courtyard from the grounds. One of them was Claire Shaw. Remus had also noticed her.

Johnny B. turned to Annabelle and whispered, "We need to get her attention."

"We can't do that. He will die of humiliation."

But Johnny B. didn't think so because he called to her.

"Claire!" he blurted out loudly, but looked away with a straight face so that when she looked to see who was calling her name, she appeared confused. Annabelle elbowed him in the side. She could tell Claire was wondering if she was hearing things as she and her friend looked away.

"Belt up, Johnny B." Remus whispered sharply.

"Go talk to her then!" Johnny B. exclaimed.

"Would you please stop-" Remus blustered, but Johnny B. did it again.

_"Claire!"_

Annabelle whispered to him, "What are you doing? Stop it _now_!"

"Just trust me, Annie."

The girls stopped and looked their way again. Annabelle's jaw dropped when they started walking towards them, Claire leading the way. Sirius and Alice stopped throwing the Frisbee so the girls could make their way across the yard without being decapitated, and decided to follow, not wanting to miss Johnny B.'s latest show.

"I'm sorry," said Claire, "but I keep thinking I'm hearing my name." She was so pretty with her big brown eyes, rosy cheeks, and wavy brown hair held back from her face with a simple black headband. She reminded Annabelle of a princess in a muggle cartoon she used to watch as a child.

No one said a word. Remus was turning beet red again, and acting like he wanted to speak, but the situation was so awkward that he was at a loss for words. Annabelle could tell Claire was becoming uncomfortable, so she discreetly pinched Johnny B. in an attempt to get him to finish what he started.

"Oh, I think that was me," he said, feigning embarrassment. "I have a very violent way of sneezing and it might have sounded like I said your name."

Claire chuckled nervously, probably still unsure if she was being mocked or not. She glanced at her friend, who simply shrugged.

"What's your name?" Johnny B. asked.

"Claire," she replied in a soft voice.

"Yeah, that was definitely me sneezing," he said, and proceeded to demonstrate a violent sneeze that sounded like he was gruffly shouting the word Claire. "See, that's probably what you heard."

Annabelle refused to make eye contact with anyone because she was trying so hard not to laugh that it hurt, and she knew instinctively she was not the only one struggling. All it would take was one glance at each other and they'd be in stitches, except for Remus, who she imagined was plotting Johnny B.'s demise at the moment.

Johnny B. continued on, unrattled. "So, Claire, what's your friend's name?"

"This is Emily," she said, and Emily gave a timid wave.

"Lovely. I have a sister named Emily," he lied. "This muppet next to me is Annabelle, those two eejits over there are Sirius and Alice, this freak right here is Peter, and next to him is our ruggedly handsome but deeply sensitive Remus. And I'm Johnny B. Enchanted to meet you." He held out his hand to shake theirs.

Annabelle gave a slight wave, still trying to avoid prolonged eye contact, as did the others. Remus was the only one to look Claire directly in the eyes, and when he smiled at her, she smiled back.

"So, have you ever played Speed Frisbee?" Johnny B. asked, hooking his arm through Annabelle's and standing up, dragging her up with him.

"No," Claire answered, still nervous.

"We were just about to play. Not you Remus, you've played enough today. Come on, Peter, you've been wanting a turn all day."

"I have?" Peter asked.

"Yes! You have," Johnny B. snapped through gritted teeth. Peter stood up as Johnny B. pretended to do a head count. "Right, we need one more player. Come on, Emily. You are going to love this!" And he grabbed Emily by the hand, ushering her onto the grass.

Remus stood up like the gentleman that he was, sitting down again as Claire sat beside him.

"Pleased to meet you," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Claire blushed. "Likewise."

Johnny B. quickly divided them into teams, Sirius, Annabelle, and Emily on one side, Alice, Peter, and himself on the other. After briefly explaining the rules, which he was making up as he went along, they played "Speed Frisbee" as best as they could. It was pathetic, really, and it ended up a match between the two most athletic players - Johnny B. and Sirius.

"This stinks," complained Peter. "You two keep hogging the Frisbee. I'm going to play chess. Anyone want to play chess? Emily? Chess?"

Annabelle was surprised that Peter was taking some initiative to help the greater cause by removing Emily from the equation. Or maybe he actually fancied her. It was hard to tell with Peter.

Emily shrugged again. "Sure. I play chess."

"Of course you play chess. You're in Ravenclaw."

Emily let Claire know where she was going, and she wandered back into the castle with Peter. Remus and Claire looked like they were hitting it off, as they were deep in conversation. Claire didn't appear to mind that her friend had left.

"Johnny B. strikes again," said Sirius wryly. "There's always a method to your madness."

"About time you recognised that fact," Johnny B. replied.

They tossed the speed Frisbee around some more, even inviting Claire and Remus to join them when they thought she might be feeling like she'd overstayed her welcome. Eventually, James and Lily reappeared and James immediately joined in the game while Annabelle bowed out to confer with Lily.

"You were gone for quite a while," she said.

"We talked. A lot. He cried a bit, Annie. I mean, I have never seen him like this. Ever."

"Did it end well?"

"It ended with us agreeing to be friends for now, and seeing what happens. No pressure, but no more silence either. He promised I wouldn't be disappointed in him again. I want so much to believe him."

"Time will tell," said Annabelle, watching as James leapt high into the air for the Frisbee. "But he already looks to be in better spirits. I predict that he won't let you down again."

"I hope you're right, because it took all my willpower not to grab him and kiss him. By the way, is that Claire Shaw?"

"Yep. Long story."

"Let's rescue her from that possessed toy. Alice! Claire!"

The girls ducked their way over and sat down. They got acquainted with Claire, or "got their claws into her" as Johnny B. would say, while the boys played Frisbee until the sun went down.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As they were exiting the Great Hall after dinner that evening, Elsinore motioned to Sirius, beckoning him to come talk to her.

He dismissed her with a shake of his head, but she persisted.

"Please, just a quick word," she called.

Annabelle narrowed her eyes, but was determined to show she wasn't threatened. "Go ahead. See what she's plotting now."

Sirius was hesitant, but with Annabelle's encouragement, he walked over to see what Elsinore wanted.

His friends stood at the base of the stairs waiting for him, pretending not to pay attention. James kept peering around to see if it was a set-up of some sort, as though Malachi might make a surprise appearance. With a sideways glance, Annabelle observed the two of them, and from Elsinore's posture she could already see what she was up to. She was playing it sweet and innocent, probably falsely apologising for the battle in the stairwell, while Sirius patiently listened, his arms crossed over his chest. Then he shook his head and said something before walking away from her to rejoin his mates.

"What did she want?" Annabelle asked as they climbed the stairs.

"You don't want to know."

"Now I really want to know," she said. "You're not going to tell us?"

"You have to tell us," said Lily, feeling hurt for Annabelle's sake.

"I don't want anyone to get upset if I tell you. She's a moral deviant and this is just how she operates."

"We won't chase her down and hex her if that's what you're implying," said Alice.

"Fine. Fine. I will tell you when we get upstairs."

When they reached the landing by the portrait hole, they stopped.

"Okay, tell us," said Lily, figuring it best not to talk about it inside the common room, as it would be full of students, specifically Dominica.

Giving his head a casual toss, he leaned against the banister. "She said she was sorry, and that she never wanted for me to get involved in the fight, and that she wished she hadn't been involved either-"

"The fight that she and Dominica _caused_ ," interjected Lily angrily.

"I _know_ that," said Sirius. "I am only repeating what she said. Do you want me to finish?"

Lily pressed her lips together and nodded.

"She said she didn't know what was happening when she came down the stairs - she just thought Dominica was in danger and she wanted to help. And yes, I know she was lying. Then she asked if I was upset with her."

"What did you say?" asked Lily.

"I told her she was sick in the head, and to stay out of my business and away from my friends. Especially my girlfriend. Then I walked away."

Johnny B. shook his head. "Psycho. Tell her to fuck off next time she tries to talk to you."

"Trust me, I will."

Annabelle found it jarring that Elsinore was still attempting to wriggle her way back into Sirius' life. He couldn't have been more accurate in calling her sick in the head, and she was glad he responded the way he did, but she still felt foolish that her boyfriend's ex, who also happened to be a close friend of his family, was bold enough to approach him right in front of her. She momentarily envisioned hunting Elsinore down and cursing her straight through a stained-glass window. Of course, she wouldn't, but that didn't stop her from picturing it.

As their friends stepped through the portrait hole, Sirius and Annabelle stayed on the landing.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"That I wish she would go away."

"That makes two of us. But she won't succeed in whatever she's plotting."

So many girls wanted Sirius. Annabelle knew it, because it had always been that way. Yet, she wasn't bothered by it, because if he had wanted to be with any of them, he would have been. Elsinore was different. She was fixated on him. With her it was more than a crush, more than a lustful longing from afar. She truly believed he was destined to be hers, their families intermingling and gaining power through them, living the pureblood dream. Sirius's own parents were probably already planning their wedding. The fact that she was clearly a maniac made Annabelle worry over what lengths she would go to in order to get her way.

"Annabelle, look at me." He stepped toward her, pulling her close. "If we stick together, they won't be able to hurt us. It's only because she knows my family that she's enlisted herself to do their bidding, same as Malachi. It won't work, all right?"

She nodded, still fraught with apprehension.

"We should go finish our lab assignment," she said, pulling away and turning toward the portrait.

"Wait, Annabelle. Don't walk away. I _knew_ I shouldn't have talked to her," he admonished himself. She turned back and he took her hand, touching his forehead to hers. "Please, I can't fight them without you. Nothing is going to come between us, all right?"

She nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. "Nothing," she affirmed.

The portrait opened and Alice peeked her head out. "Please, come in. We keep thinking the worst could happen with those toe-rags about and you both out here alone."

"You're right," agreed Sirius. "We're right behind you."

After a quick kiss, they followed Alice inside.

 


	29. Clueless

The third trip to Hogsmeade was the following Saturday, and the first one of the year in which Sirius and Annabelle were able to participate, since they managed to avoid a third detention. Everyone had warned them to keep their mouths shut in class and stay out of trouble for the entire week leading up to the trip, and miraculously they succeeded.

Hogsmeade itself hadn't changed much since the previous school year. It was still a small village with little to do but buy candy and other junk, and hang out in a pub or a tea shop with faculty members. When they were younger it had been more exciting, especially the joke shop, but it had lost its lustre over the years. Alice was the only one eager to go, since Frank would be meeting her at The Three Broomsticks. When she stepped into the pub, Frank took her into his arms and after a major public display of affection, they disappeared into a secluded booth, not emerging until it was time to return to the castle. Caradoc and Fairfax, along with a few others had spent the day there as well, trying to convince Madam Rosmerta to serve them firewhisky and flirting with her, even though she was a bit older and uninterested, but flattered by the attention nonetheless.

The rest of them went to Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, since the weather had turned cold again and tea seemed like the better option on a cold day than butterbeer. Lily and James were doing quite well as friends. He was giving her space, and she was enjoying the mild flirtation without any pressure. They felt like they were getting to know each other again.

Septima Scroggie entered after them with a few of her friends. She stopped by to say hello and thankfully went to sit at another table. Not only was she annoying, but she'd taken to following Dominica around, so Annabelle figured she was also pathetically misguided. After she sat down with her friends, Lily glanced at Annabelle and rolled her eyes.

"Crikey, Peter, would you like some tea with your sugar?" asked Johnny B., as he watched Peter put at least six heaping spoonfuls into his cup.

"This is how I like it, so shut it," Peter snapped back.

"Touchy, touchy. What is your problem?" asked James.

"Wait, let me guess," Sirius said. "Emily told you to get stuffed because you told some foul joke in front of her."

"Wrong. She is obsessed with me. I mean it. She keeps having her friends pass me notes in the hall. She wants to play chess every night. I can't get rid of her."

"Oh, Peter," said Johnny B. shaking his head and laughing. "You heartbreaker, you. I hope you're being respectful at least. We wouldn't want Remus to be a victim of guilt by association."

Remus blushed and bowed his head, but he didn't say anything.

Just then, Claire and Emily walked into the tea shop.

"Speak of the devil," said Johnny B.

It didn't take long for the girls to notice their Gryffindor acquaintances. They timidly approached their table.

"Hi Remus," said Claire, smiling shyly. Annabelle flinched at how awkward it was between them. It was painful to watch, because they obviously liked one another. Remus got up and fumbled for a few more chairs and they sat down. Emily waved at Peter, but she acted nothing like the obsessed stalker he had made her out to be.

"Well, I'm going to join my fellow singletons in the pub," said Johnny B., as he stood up and put his coat on, then added cheekily, "You lovebirds enjoy your tea."

"No, don't go," Annabelle said, getting up and following him to the door. She thought maybe he was feeling like the odd man out as the only one without a love interest present. "We just got here. Why are you leaving?"

"Someone has to protect Madam Rosmerta from those plonkers," he said, trying to joke, a melancholy filling his icy blue eyes. "And I want to make sure Alice and Frank don't run away together,"

"We'll come with you, just let us get our coats," Annabelle offered.

"No, Annie, you stay. I'm fine! Just fill me in on the gossip later," he said, and exited into the frosty air.

Annabelle frowned and sat back down. She noticed Remus and Claire weren't talking as much as they had when they first met. Where was Johnny B. when they needed him? Claire and Remus were both so painfully introverted that Annabelle wished he'd ask her to go for a walk so they wouldn't feel so self-conscious in front of everyone. It must have been extra intimidating for her sitting there with them, since they were a year ahead of her and not in the same house. Peter was talking Emily's ear off, and she looked bored.

Finally, Emily said, "I think I'm going to head over to Honeydukes. Claire, do you want to join me?"

"Sure," she answered. "Would you like to come, too?" she asked Remus.

"Okay, sure," he replied while nodding, then looked to the others with a tiny grin. He helped Claire with her coat, took his, and headed for the exit.

"I'm coming, too! Wait for me," called Peter as he downed his tea, grabbed his coat, and clumsily ran off after them.

"Has he lost the plot?" Annabelle asked, referring to Peter. "Or was he just taking the mick with that whole story he told us?"

"One never knows with Peter," replied James.

A little while later and after second cups of tea, Annabelle yawned and rested her head on Sirius' shoulder. He draped his arm around her and rested his head on hers. Lily and James talked quietly to each other for a bit, but they kept being startled by Septima and her friends whose conversation involved a lot of intermittent cackling. It was so piercingly loud when it happened that it was becoming unbearable.

"Oy! Turn down the volume!" James called over to them, but they didn't hear him over the sound of their own voices.

"How about we head over to the Three Broomsticks?" suggested Lily. "I feel like we should check in on the others anyway. Madam Rosmerta has probably had enough."

They put on their coats and headed towards the door. Sirius had just taken Annabelle's hand when Rowan Summerby, a seventh-year Hufflepuff and Annabelle's former crush, walked in with a few others. His girlfriend, Darcy, was nowhere to be seen. Annabelle didn't actually know him. She just knew _of_ him really, and had worshipped him from afar for years, which was why she was taken aback when he spoke to her as they were passing each other.

"Hi, Annabelle," he said, smiling at her.

Annabelle felt her face burn as she replied with a very bewildered sounding, "Hi?"

Once she was past him, she gave her head a confused shake.

"You know him?" Sirius asked as they exited the tea shop and started walking.

"No. That's why I was surprised he spoke to me," she answered honestly, glancing at Lily who nodded discreetly in approval of her answer. Technically, it wasn't a lie.

"Maybe he's a fan," suggested James. "She is the Seeker for the greatest Quidditch team at Hogwarts."

Once upon a time, Annabelle would have found that an arrogant thing to say about his own team, but now she agreed. They were the greatest.

"Maybe you should've given him your autograph," grumbled Sirius.

Lily had to cover her mouth to stifle a laugh at the jealous side of him making an appearance.

Annabelle chuckled nervously, still taken aback that Rowan had spoken to her. Even more fascinating was how little she actually cared. A few months before she probably would have been euphoric that he'd acknowledged her existence. Now, it meant nothing. Sirius was the real thing, and so much more than she had ever allowed herself to imagine.

"Annabelle!" an obnoxious voice rang out from behind them, and they glanced over their shoulders to see Septima and her friends rushing towards them.

When she reached them, she pushed in between Annabelle and Sirius and said to Annabelle, "Did I just see Rowan Summerby say hi to you? You must have loved him forever! Figures he talks to you after you have a boyfriend!"

Annabelle wanted to punch her in her big, loud gob.

"Septima, are you deranged?" Lily asked her, disgusted at the idiotic girl's audacity.

"What? Did I say something untrue?" Septima asked with wide eyes, exaggerating her words.

"We'll be on our way now, Septima," Annabelle said, unsure if Septima was really that flaky or if there was something she was missing about the encounter. Something didn't add up.

"Okay, ta!" Septima trilled and scurried off into a store with her friends.

Annabelle glanced at Sirius as they continued walking. He was looking straight ahead, hands in his pockets. He remained quiet until they arrived at the Three Broomsticks.

"Annabelle, wait for second?" he said, as Lily and James went inside.

She faced him, knowing what was coming.

"Why'd you lie and say you didn't know him?" he asked, sounding a touch hurt.

"I didn't lie. I don't know him. I had a silly, meaningless crush on him from a distance. That's all. That's the first time he ever spoke to me."

He looked at her like he was trying to figure her out, but then looked away, feeling foolish.

"Really, Sirius," she said, taking his hand and gently pulling him over to her. When he still didn't speak, she asked, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I don't like this Rowan Summerby very much," he replied, but managed to smile after he said it. He was trying not to be the jealous boyfriend, even though he'd noticed the way Rowan had looked at her. Chances were this Rowan fellow knew Sirius was her boyfriend, since the whole school seemed to know. They'd even been holding hands, which made the tosser very brave to be flirty with Annabelle in front of him. He had resisted the impulse to pound some manners into him, but wasn't so sure he'd hold back if he approached her again.

"I'd forgotten all about him, actually," she said softly as she brushed a lock of hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. Merlin, he was beautiful, she thought, as he finally looked her in the eyes. "It's hard to notice anyone else when you're around."

He brushed the tip of his nose against hers and gently stroked her cheek, kissing her lightly on the lips at first, then deeply and more intensely as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. They didn't stop until the door to the Three Broomsticks opened and they heard a throat clearing loudly. They opened their eyes to see Professor Slughorn leaving the pub, looking uncomfortable as he passed.

"Cheers, Professor!" called Sirius after him, arms still tight around Annabelle as she giggled and shushed him. As Slughorn walked away, he gave a wave of his hand without looking back.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Gryffindor had two more Quidditch matches left for the season, and winter decided to arrive at the end of November. It snowed for days, making practice miserable. They were still trying to help Annabelle master standing on her broom, which was even harder for her when weighed down with multiple layers of heavy clothing in order to keep warm. The snow was making her broom slippery, and she could barely get her footing before she'd slip and fall. It was maddening, but they insisted she keep trying. The next game was against Hufflepuff, and they already knew their Seeker could perform the feat, as he had demonstrated in their first match with them. If they beat Hufflepuff again, they would gain a huge point advantage over Slytherin. If they lost, then the final match with Slytherin was going to be do or die, she knew it.

Sirius was the only one not keen on pushing her, for obvious reasons, so the others just mollified him but inevitably ignored his protests when he thought she was flying too high or too fast. Someone was always there to catch her if she missed her broom going down, but Sirius knew this wouldn't be the case in a real game. Madam Hooch was on the pitch during games, wand in hand to cushion any falls, but there had been a few near misses in the past when tragedy had been a split second from occurring. He could see Annabelle becoming stressed over it, and the longer they drilled her, the more unstable on the broom she seemed to become.

"I think she's done for today," Sirius said to James. "This is too much pressure for her. It would be too much pressure for anyone."

James sighed. "You have to turn off the boyfriend switch when we're out here, mate, because you are just going to make yourself crazy over every little slip, fall, or scream. I say that as a friend."

"One doesn't need to be her boyfriend to see that this is becoming futile," argued Sirius. "Look at her. She's shaking from the cold, or possibly fear. She's soaking wet from the snow and the wind is picking up making it difficult to fly straight, let alone stand on a slippery broom. Haven't we all had enough for today?"

"She's making you soft, mate," James teased. "But, I see your point. Maybe she needs a break. I'm freezing my bollocks off, too."

James ended practice but reminded them that they would be meeting again in the morning, snow or not. Annabelle was so cold her whole body shook, and her hair was matted against her face from the wet snow. She felt like she'd fallen into the icy lake and couldn't wait to get back to the dorm to take a long hot shower. The boys looked and felt equally as pitiful, so no one was sorry to see practice end.

Students' heads turned when the team entered the common room, gawking at the state they were in. Remus, Lily, Alice, and Peter were at a study table playing Exploding Snap, mainly because the seventh-years had claimed the sofa and chairs by the fire before they could.

"Aren't you a shambolic lot," said Peter. "Tell me again what makes Quidditch fun?"

"Bugger off, Peter," Fairfax groaned, heading for the boys' dormitory.

"Be back down in a bit," James said, as he and Sirius followed the rest of them.

Before heading upstairs to the girls' dorm, Annabelle asked Lily and Alice, "Is the hag up there?"

"Haven't seen her all day, but you never know with that barmy crone," answered Alice.

"Lorelei is up there though, so if the harpy happens to materialise, you'll be safe," Lily replied. "You know Lorelei won't tolerate any shenanigans. Do you want one of us to come with you just in case?"

"No, it's all right." Annabelle replied, and trudged up the stairs.

"Yup, I think they've managed to call her every insult for a witch in the book," observed Peter.

"Don't be so sure," replied Remus, who couldn't help but laugh at the witchy name calling. "There's probably more where that came from."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"What in the bloody hell happened to you?" asked Lorelei as Annabelle entered the dorm room to grab a dry set of clothes, leaving puddles on the floor wherever she stood.

"Quidditch," droned Annabelle.

"Are you all off your fucking trollies? It's freezing out there!" Lorelei had a way of making the most innocent of queries sound and feel like a brutal assault.

"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said, then muttered under her breath so Lorelei couldn't hear, _"But thanks for stating the obvious."_

"You are all lunatics, if you ask me," she said.

"Okay, thanks," said Annabelle as she headed to the showers.

She took the longest shower she'd ever taken in her life. A few times her eyes closed like she was going to fall asleep on her feet. Reluctantly, she turned off the water, and grabbed her towel. As she was getting dressed, she heard the bathroom door open and the sink turn on and off again. Then a conversation began.

"So who do you think is the most gormless, gullible cow in Gryffindor?" asked Dominica.

"Easy one. Annabelle O'Neill," Septima answered.

"And why do you choose Annabelle?"

"Because she thinks she's ace because she's on the Quidditch team, even though it makes the other boys treat her like a bloke. And because she thinks Sirius Black is in love with her when he really never got over Elsinore Collins and will dump her as soon as the season is over since the team will have no use for her anymore!"

Annabelle almost laughed out loud as she gathered her wet practice clothes from the floor. They clearly knew she was in there, and had staged the entire childish conversation. Septima sounded like she was reciting lines from a script it was so put on. No wonder they needed Elsinore's help, who even though she was a dangerous loon, was wily and shrewd, and would never stoop to this level of stupidity.

She stepped out of the shower stall and they feigned surprise, then smirked at her. She was about to walk out the door without giving them the satisfaction of engaging them, but she changed her mind and took a few steps towards them.

"Tell the truth, ladies," she said in a condescending tone. "You are both so daft that you have to look in the mirror every morning to check if your eyes are open."

The girls furrowed their eyebrows, clearly missing the joke, but quickly tried to recover by snickering and exchanging glances that showed they thought Annabelle was the stupid one.

"That's what I thought," said Annabelle before flouncing out the door.

Annabelle had done a better job of acting unfazed than she actually was. It wasn't pleasant hearing those things said about her, even though she didn't think they were true. She also hated hearing them use Sirius' name in the same breath as the name Elsinore. She ran upstairs and finished getting ready, then bounded back down to the common room to tell Lily and Alice what had transpired. She changed her mind when she got there though, because the boys were back as well and she didn't want to get everyone riled up over some petty nonsense.

"We thought you drowned up there, Annie," said Johnny B. One of the playing cards exploded and she jumped.

"I can't stand this game. Is it dinner time yet? I'm starving."

"In about twenty minutes," Alice said.

Sirius had already joined in the card game, never able to resist an opportunity to compete. Remus was sitting on a bench near the rest of them, reading a book. Annabelle sat down next to him.

"Hi Annabelle," he said. "How was practice?"

"A nightmare," she replied glumly.

"How come?"

"They want me to stand on my broom. While speeding through the air. High above the ground. Tell me why I agreed to this again?"

"That's easy. Because you they needed you."

"Right," she said. "Sooo… how's Claire?"

He instantly turned red and shifted uncomfortably. Annabelle regretted asking, feeling awful that she made him uncomfortable..

"Sorry, Remus. Just tell me to mind my own business."

"It's all right. You're just curious. I am guessing Claire is fine," he replied, and looked back at his book.

"Have you talked to her since Hogsmeade?"

"Yes, once or twice."

"Well? Come on, Remus, what's going on with her?"

Remus closed his book. Annabelle thought for a moment that she'd upset him. After a pause, he looked her in the eyes.

"Annabelle, no offence, because I know you mean well, but what do you think could come of Claire and me being together?" he asked quietly. "How long could it go on before I'd have to tell her what I am, and how long would it be until she bolted?"

Poor Remus. She hadn't really thought about it from that perspective, but figured it was a legitimate concern. She had never thought of Remus' condition as a deal breaker, maybe because it was just one of the many strange aspects of the magical world she came to accept, but she knew that some wizards misunderstood and judged werewolves to the point that many became outcasts from society. To her and the others, he was a friend who got really sick once a month. The rest of the time he was Remus. Level-headed, wise, shy, adorable Remus who always focused on everyone else's problems instead of his own. He had so much to offer someone like Claire. There had to be others out there like his friends that would see the person he was, not just his affliction. She hated to think of him going through life denying himself happiness for fear of rejection and ridicule.

"What if she didn't bolt?" she asked him. "What if she accepted it?"

"What if I accidentally mauled her? Or worse?"

"How would that happen? Are you suddenly going to stop taking precautions during full moons? Because so far, she's been safe all these years living in the same school with you."

"I'm not telling her. I hardly know her."

"I'm not suggesting you tell her. I think you should get to know her though. Give her a chance at least."

"What, lead her on, then spring it on her later? 'Hey, Claire, your boyfriend turns into a dangerous monster once a month and he will for the rest of his life. Carry on, though.'" He hung his head morosely.

"Listen, no one tells people all their dark secrets when they first meet each other, right? People get to know each other first. If you found that things were going somewhere with her, then you could tell her."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "It sounds simple, but it's not. What if she told people?"

"Then we will tell people she is the world's biggest liar. And of course we'll hex her," said Annabelle with a straight face.

Remus couldn't help but grin. "I actually believe that," he said. "But I'll think about it. If nothing else, I suppose I can still be friendly with her. It doesn't have to go any further."

"But it could…" she chirped in a sing-song voice.

"You people are relentless," he said, but that was it. Annabelle knew not to push him any further. Besides, it was dinner time.

On the way to the Great Hall, Annabelle told Lily and Alice about the stunt Dominica and Septima had pulled in the bathroom.

"I don't even know what to say," said Alice. "That is just so pitiful of them. So desperate."

"Desperate is an understatement," echoed Lily. "I hope you aren't letting them get to you Annie."

Annabelle replied, "No, I'm not," but sounded unconvincing.

"If you are taking anything they say to heart, then you _are_ gormless and gullible," scolded Alice.

"You forgot cow. I'm a gormless and gullible cow."

She knew they were right. It was ludicrous to think otherwise, she told herself. She refused to let anyone make her feel badly about herself. At dinner though, she could barely eat.

"I thought you were starving," said Alice, eyeing her suspiciously, knowing that she was still dwelling on Dominica and Septima's puerile insults.

"Lost my appetite," she replied.

Sirius looked at her and then at Alice, who knew Annabelle wouldn't want Sirius to know what had been said about her, so her face revealed nothing to him.

"Are you sick?" he asked, turning back to Annabelle. "I knew we kept you out in the cold too long."

She shook her head and replied, "It's not that. Just knackered is all."

But it was more than that, even though she'd never voice it. It was dread, taking its shape from deep within her. All the strangeness with Dominica and Septima, not to mention Elsinore felt like a preamble to some big event. Something was going to happen, and she had no choice but to just stand by and wait for it.

 


	30. Seeds of Doubt

The last Saturday in November arrived along with their second to last Quidditch match of the year; a rematch with Hufflepuff. The first time they'd played them, Annabelle caught the Snitch because their Seeker had been thrown from his broom. He had been standing on it when a Bludger took him down. The Gryffindor Quidditch team had been practising all week, and Annabelle had been at her wit's end trying to master that same technique. Knowing the opposing Seeker could actually do it only made her more distressed. During practice the day before, she finally managed it for a decent amount of time, but when she attempted to grab the Snitch, she slipped and went into a free fall like she had been doing every day. They boys had taken to carrying their wands during practice so they could cast Arresto Momentum on her to slow her falls. Someone always caught her, but they weren't used to dealing with a teammate falling repeatedly, and it was taking a toll on their nerves.

The morning of the game was cold and windy as expected, but the snowfall was light and wasn't supposed to pick up until the afternoon. They all seemed tense as they waited in their station for the game to start. Annabelle was trying to breathe deeply, but with little success, as she stood with her arms crossed in front of her, staring into space. No one was talking and the only sounds were the nearby voices of the crowd, the occasional creak of a floorboard, and the whistling of the wind.

Before they left the castle, Sirius had instructed her not to stand up on her broom- that no one would mind if she didn't. The wind gusts were too powerful and the thought of her being swept off her broom was too awful to mention. He knew she was feeling the pressure to do it if needed, since it had been the only thing she practised for a week and they had been making such a big deal about it. All he could do was hope it was unnecessary, and that the Snitch would be caught quickly with little fuss. He no longer cared who caught it. He hated to admit it, but he just wanted the game to be over. He glanced at her, but she was looking ahead, still as a statue except for her breathing and a sporadic, anxious clenching of her jaw.

Once the game had begun, Annabelle remembered how much colder it was in the air, flying round in the frigid wind, than it was on the ground. Her eyes were watering from the icy gusts, making it hard to see at times, and soon she started to feel defeated. She guessed that if she was having problems due to the wind then so was Milo. It was a long time before she saw the Snitch. She'd felt like it must have been an hour, and she'd been doing her best to trick Milo and avoid Bludgers. He tricked her good twice, but for some reason she felt hurt by it, like she had been made a fool of, even though it was part of the game and she had never taken it personally before. She told herself to toughen up and to stop being such a baby.

When she finally saw the Snitch, she just went for it, since Milo might have thought she was bluffing anyway. Of course the wind slowed her down and they ended up just as they had last time, racing side by side, both about to touch it. It bobbed over their heads and every time they would fly higher, the bloody snitch would fly higher as well.

That was when Milo slowly got to his feet on his broom and Annabelle froze. She leaned forward in an attempt to bring her foot up, but she was shaking too hard. She tried to move her legs but couldn't, in fact, she was so paralysed with fear she thought they might have to pry the broom from her after the game. A Bludger whizzed past Milo and he wobbled a little losing the advantage momentarily, but he dodged it and regained his balance. He had been practising too, apparently. She knew, even as she tried to fly higher that one more inch and he'd catch it.

And then he did. The game was over.

She flew into their station first and immediately disappeared into her changing room, dragging her broom behind her. She wanted to curl up in her bed and just sleep until Christmas. And she didn't want to have to catch a Snitch ever again. It wasn't that she was a poor sport. She knew losing was part of the game and she knew she couldn't win them all. No, it wasn't the losing. It was that the team had worked tirelessly in the freezing cold to help her do one thing and one thing only, and she choked. She panicked and barely tried. She heard them all as they landed, their heavy footfalls on the floorboards, their deep voices subdued. She was trying to get dressed as fast as she could so she wouldn't have to face them. She knew she'd have to eventually, but at the moment she wanted to disappear with her shame.

"Annabelle? Are you over there?" she heard Johnny B. call.

Then she heard Sirius say something in a low voice to him, but she couldn't make out what it was.

She hated not to answer, but she felt like if she spoke, her voice would crack and betray her. She walked as fast as she could to the exit, knowing they could hear her footsteps as the floor creaked beneath her, and she took off toward the castle alone in the deep, powdery snow, trailing along behind the remains of the crowd.

She'd trudged about twenty feet when she heard Sirius approaching behind her.

"Annabelle! Wait up!" he called, but she kept walking. She knew he'd catch up anyway.

About ten seconds later he fell in step beside her. She had her hands in her pockets and her scarf wrapped up to her eyeballs which made it hard to read her facial expressions, but her body language practically screamed _don't touch me_ , so he didn't.

"Are you upset because we lost?" he asked.

"No," she answered flatly, feeling the lump rising in her throat.

"You're upset because you didn't stand on your broom?

"Yes."

"Why are you upset about that?"

"Because. I wasted everyone's time and I'm so sorry."

"Annabelle, no," he said tenderly, but his kindness only made her feel worse.

"Please, can we talk about it later?" she asked, hoping she could get to her room before she lost the battle with her tears. She had been so emotional lately, and she just wanted to find Lily and Alice.

He sighed, but conceded. "Okay, we'll talk later. I hope you don't mind, but I'm still going to walk you to the common room."

"Okay."

A moment later, he changed his mind about the not talking about it.

"Stop walking for second, please, Annie?" He got in front of her and she stopped, looked down at her feet, and continued to try not to cry.

He took a step toward her and gently pulled her scarf down so he could see her face.

"It's all right, you know," he said. Just then Johnny B. caught up with them.

"No it's not," she said hoarsely. "It's all right for you because you're just being protective of me. But the others are probably fed up with me by now."

"Not true," said Johnny B. catching his breath. "I am assuming this about you not standing on your broom?"

Sirius nodded and Johnny B. said, "Annabelle, I don't think anyone really wanted you to stand on your broom today."

James , Caradoc, and Fairfax had almost caught up to them as well.

"James did," Annabelle replied.

"What did James do?" asked James.

"You wanted her to stand on her broom," Johnny B. said. "She thinks we're all fed up with her now."

"I was actually relieved when you didn't attempt it, believe it or not," James assured her. "Would it be nice if you were already skilled at it? Sure. But you aren't. It was too windy to chance it today."

"It wasn't too windy for Milo," she said.

"Milo has been at it a lot longer than you," Fairfax explained. "He's been on that team for three years so he's had time to work on things. Last year, he still couldn't do that move, just so you know."

"I couldn't even move my legs. I thought I'd been paralysed I was so frightened. What kind of Seeker am I? Why am I so sodding incompetent?" Tears spilled down her cheeks. "And how will we beat Slytherin in two weeks, with bumbling me the one responsible for the Snitch?"

Lily or Alice would have immediately rushed to her side, offered words of comfort, and discussed the many reasons why shouldn't be talking like that. But these were boys, and they were all just looking at her uncomfortably like they didn't know what to do. They weren't used to teammates crying after a game. It made her seem like an alien and they were afraid if they said the wrong thing, her head might start spinning or something.

"And now I'm bloody crying. _Great,"_ she lamented.

Sirius wanted to do something. The others kept glancing at him, clearly wanting him to do something as well, him being her boyfriend and all, but even he didn't want to make the wrong move. He gave her back a rub and said, "No use beating yourself up, Annie. You've been under a lot of pressure. I told you before; no one cares as long as you're in one piece. And you've caught the Snitch three out of five games so far. That's a fantastic record."

She nodded, and wiped her tears on her scarf. There was another pause as if they were waiting for her to give some kind of signal indicating that she was normal again.

Suddenly, Caradoc, who had been hoarding a few snowballs in his possession, threw one at Sirius. It hit him in the side of the head.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again. "You're going to regret that, Doc."

"Funny, because I don't think I am," Caradoc replied, and threw a snowball at Annabelle. She was ready for it though, and ducked, grabbing a handful of snow. Just like that, a full blown battle was in effect, with the lot of them wildly forming snowballs and sending them flying at each other. Annabelle couldn't make them fast enough, she was laughing so much at being hit. Then Fairfax dove on top of Johnny B. and rubbed his face in the snow which only encouraged the others to play rough as well.

"Payback time!" James shouted, putting Sirius in a headlock and smashing a handful of snow into his face. Then he bolted after Annabelle, who screamed and tried to run. He scooped up snow as he charged her, shoving it down her back.

"That was for Straiton. Didn't think I'd remember, did ya?" he taunted them.

Sirius tackled him, practically washing his face with handfuls of snow. They all went pretty easy on Annabelle, but she had no problem diving onto Caradoc's back, knocking him down and smashing snow into his hair and neck.

"That's the way to do it, Annabelle! Get him," Fairfax hollered. She rolled off of him and Johnny B. sat on his back so the rest of them could bury him in the snow. Once he was covered up to his neck they waved good-bye.

"See ya, Doc!" James called cheekily as he jogged toward the castle.

"Send a howler if you need anything!" added Sirius, grabbing Annabelle's hand as they dashed away, Johnny B. right behind them.

Fairfax took pity on him though and dislodged him from his icy cocoon with a push from his foot, then took off with the others. Caradoc hesitated after hoisting himself out of the knee deep snow, then charged after them, yelling like a Viking going into battle.

They made it into the castle just as Caradoc was about to attack, but once he crossed the threshold into the foyer, he stopped abruptly in his tracks, and warbled in a shrill voice like an elderly woman, "Tea time, duckies! Shall I put the kettle on?"

Again they were thrown into fits of laughter. A good laugh was sorely needed, and his random craziness did the trick. Annabelle had tears in her eyes- the good kind.

As they started up the stairs, she quietly said to Caradoc, "Not sure what all of that was about, but thank you."

Caradoc winked and said, "Any time, love. I hate seeing girls cry, unless they're happy tears. And it was good to relieve some stress, wasn't it?"

She nodded, and was pleased he hadn't referred to her as a bloke, contrary to what Septima had said in the bathroom.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next morning, Annabelle, Lily, and Alice went to breakfast without waiting for the boys since they had apparently decided to sleep in and there was no sign of them. After they had been there for a short time, the boys started trailing in a couple at a time. Sirius and James were the last to arrive. Annabelle couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Elsinore walk over to talk to him, like she'd been waiting for him.

Lily noticed too, but the others hadn't until she blurted out, "What does she want from him? Can't she take a hint?"

"Clearly she cannot," said Remus.

"She is an embarrassment to herself," added Johnny B.

Sirius hadn't stopped walking when Elsinore approached him, but she started following him to their table, so he turned around and took several steps back. Anyone could see he was angry with her as he spoke, and of course she was pulling her _poor innocent little me_ face. She looked like she might cry as she responded to him, and his face softened momentarily. Then she said something else and touched his arm, which caused him to recoil like he'd been burned. He said something and walked away.

He joined the others at the table, knowing they had probably been watching, especially since James had seen her pull him aside. He felt like she was trying to discredit him in front of his friends and especially Annabelle; like if she talked to him enough, people would think he was truly friends with her or something. She made his skin crawl. Of course, now he would have to explain the whole encounter.

Johnny B. asked, "Did you tell her to fuck off?"

"Not in those exact words, no. I told her to leave me the fuck alone," he replied.

"But she didn't leave you alone," said Annabelle, trying very hard be levelheaded about it.

Sirius sighed. "No, but I couldn't have her following me through the Great Hall, so I let her talk. She claimed she wanted to know if I was going to her family's New Year's party this year."

Annabelle didn't like the sound of this.

"You never go to their party," said James.

"Exactly. I haven't been to a party at her house since I was eleven years old. And even then it was dull as dishwater. I told her exactly that, and also that I would never go to a party at her family's home again as long as I live, and to let a Bowtruckle scratch my eyes out if I'm lying about that."

"Is that when she pulled the sad face?" asked Lily.

"Yes. I thought maybe I'd gone too far, but then she told me that I didn't mean what I'd said; that I was just lost."

Annabelle figured that was when she put her vile hand on him.

"So, I told her she needed mental help and that was that."

Johnny B. shook his head. "You did _not_ go too far. In fact, I feel like having a word with her myself."

"No," said Sirius sternly. "Just stay away from her, and all of them for that matter. They would like nothing more than to lure us into a war with them. Let's not waste another minute on her. She's not worth it."

It already felt like a war to Annabelle, and if Elsinore didn't get her prize, Sirius was going to end up a casualty.

As the subject changed and they started talking about other things, Sirius whispered to Annabelle, "Aside from class, I want you to stay as far away from her as possible. If you see her, turn the other way. Promise me you will do that."

"I'm not afraid of her," replied Annabelle.

Sirius was becoming frustrated. "I know that, but I don't want her trying to hurt you to punish me."

"How would she ever win you back if she hurt me? I honestly don't think she's going to lay another finger on me. But if it makes you feel better, I will steer clear of her. I have no reason to go near her anyway."

He seemed satisfied with her answer, and they dropped it. Claire gave Remus a wave from the Ravenclaw table and he blushed and waved back, causing James and Sirius to grin and tease him. Peter called over to Emily, and she turned around and waved hello, but giggled as she turned back around. Fairfax high-fived him, but Annabelle couldn't tell if it was a happy giggle or if she was laughing at him. She hoped it was the former, because poor Peter seemed smitten.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next day in Potions, Professor Slughorn was introducing a new topic, and even though she should have been paying attention, she wasn't. Sirius was bored, so he was getting fidgety, like he wanted some entertainment. She had seen him and his friends act that way before, and it usually ended with detention. He had a box of Bertie Botts beans and kept slipping Annabelle the peppermint and marmalade flavoured ones under the table, since they were her favourite. Soon, a tiny paper aeroplane landed in front of him. He opened it, then showed it to Annabelle. It read: **_Send me some beans._** **_But not the nasty ones._** Sirius knew it was from Peter by the chicken-scratch handwriting, so he fished out a single bean from the box, and wrote on the note, **_Last one. Enjoy!_** He folded it back into its aeroplane shape, put the bean inside and surreptitiously charmed it to fly back to Peter.

It was quiet for a moment, then Peter began spitting and coughing. "BLECH! THAT'S FOUL!"

Sirius put his head down on the table to hide his instant laughter.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Pettigrew?" Professor Slughorn asked.

"Erm, no, sir. Not at all, sir," he replied. James looked back at Sirius and instantly crumpled into silent laughter too, unable to keep a straight face when he saw his friend laughing. Annabelle nudged Sirius, which only made him laugh harder.

When it was time to begin the assignment, Sirius went to get their ingredients for the potion they'd be making. He and James were still laughing over Peter's outburst and she could hear Peter berating Sirius for giving him the worst flavour. Suddenly, Rowan Summerby came in with a stack of papers to be handed out to the students. Sirius's eyes narrowed from across the room as Rowan handed the papers to the professor. As he was leaving, Rowan saw Annabelle and approached her.

"Saw the game Saturday. I was rooting for you," he said.

Again, she was confused. "Um... thank you."

He nodded and smiled, then left.

Sirius set their ingredients down, giving her a funny look.

"What?" she said.

"What did he want?"

"Will you please sit down first?"

He sat down and said, "Okay, I'm sitting."

"You aren't going to chase him down or anything are you?"

"Depends on what he said," he replied.

Annabelle was hesitant to tell him. Rowan hadn't been rude or anything, but it was oddly flirtatious, and Sirius was already wound up from the boredom and the jelly beans, so she worried he might overreact. He had nothing to worry about as far as Rowan was concerned, but she also knew from experience than it didn't feel good to watch someone chatting up your significant other.

"He was talking about last Saturday's game, that's all," she said, looking away as the papers were handed back. It was just a memo reminding students to inform the Headmaster if they'd be staying at Hogwarts for the holidays. Obviously she would be staying, so she needn't have taken one.

"What did he say about last Saturday's game?" he asked.

Annabelle pretended to chuckle a little as she told him, trying to show him how silly she thought it was. She just couldn't lie to him, even though in this case it might have been the wise thing to do.

"He said he'd been at the game. Oh, and that he was rooting for me. I mean, how ridiculous is that? He's in Hufflepuff, rooting for the opposite Seeker. Strange boy, he is."

Sirius didn't smile. He looked sort of perplexed as he turned it over in his mind. Then he looked at Annabelle and said, "He actually said he was _rooting_ for you?"

She nodded.

"What an idiot," he said.

She hoped that was it, that they could move on and work on their assignment, but it was bothering him too much to let it go.

"What kind of moron roots for the other side?"

Annabelle shrugged. She had rooted for the other side once, because at the time she thought her future teammates were smug arses, but she didn't think right then was the time to share that bit of information. Also, she was pretty sure that wasn't the reason Rowan was rooting for her.

"Are we going to get started on this potion?" Annabelle asked.

"I'd kind of like to know why your crush is suddenly fawning all over you whenever he sees you."

" _Former_ crush," Annabelle corrected him. "And fawning all over me? That's a bit of an exaggeration. Compared to what your ex-girlfriend has been up to, I think Rowan is pretty tame."

Sirius laughed dryly and said, "For the love of Merlin, I was twelve! She's hardly an ex-girlfriend, especially since I never liked her. And you know she's stark raving mad. What's this toe-rag's excuse?"

"Why does it matter?" Annabelle asked. "I lost interest in him months ago."

"Then he needs to back off."

"Yes. I agree. If he speaks to me again I will tell him to back off," she said. "Now can we forget it and get to work?"

Sirius started measuring ingredients, still clearly angry.

"Hey," she said softly. "I'm with _you_. You're my crush now; no one else. Please, don't give him a second thought."

He exhaled and nodded. It was tough not knowing why this twit was suddenly speaking to Annabelle. Again, it was about respect. She was clearly involved with someone else, so what gave Rowan the audacity to flirt with her? Sirius knew he had to listen to her though, and forget about it. He had to trust her, or what were they doing together?

"You're right," he replied. "I won't give it another thought."

They got to work on their potion, and thanks to Sirius, it was flawlessly executed in record time. Annabelle didn't want him to worry about Rowan, but it was nice to know he cared enough to be a little jealous. Still, it was bewildering that Rowan was speaking to her at all. It bothered her for reasons she couldn't quite articulate yet.


	31. First Love

It was officially the holiday season at Hogwarts, evidenced by the festive decorations ornamenting the Great Hall. Excitement was in the air as there were only two weeks of school left until the break, and the weeks leading up to it were always a bit more relaxed and fun than any other time of year. Annabelle had mixed feelings about this season, for reasons one would expect of a girl without a home in which to go, but she did love the decorations. Dumbledore and McGonagall knew it was an emotional time for her, since her grandfather had been big on Christmas. She had fond memories of the huge fresh Christmas tree in their home, with the fairy lights bought at the Muggle department store. It had been amazing to think how much more astonishing it could have been had he been willing to show her the magical world at the time, but she was still brought to fits of nostalgia for her cheap Muggle lights. Dumbledore made sure to grace a corner of the Gryffindor common room with a small tree decorated the Muggle way for her every year. The other students weren't aware of its significance and would laugh at the little tree or call it sad, but she appreciated it immensely.

Annabelle couldn't enjoy the relaxed atmosphere that December, though. First, she found herself worrying about Sirius, since his horrid parents expected him at home, and she didn't even want to imagine how that would unfold knowing that Malachi and Elsinore had been reporting to them. He told her not to worry and was putting on a very brave face, but she knew he didn't want to go. He had said to her before that he was old enough to fight back, but she hoped beyond hope that there wouldn't be a need for that.

She also had to deal with the agonizing stress of their final Quidditch match hanging over her head; the match against Slytherin. Beating Slytherin was what the team had in mind when they asked her to join them in September. When the Slytherins cheated, they lost the first game anyway. Her skill hadn't mattered. They knew there would be another chance, and Annabelle had felt like that chance was so far off that she needn't dwell on it. Now, there it was, right in front of her. She had learnt a lot, and had improved greatly over the months. She could deflect and dodge Bludgers, she could bluff with the opposing Seeker, and she could fly better than she'd ever done in the past. She still couldn't stand on her broom, but it didn't look like the gigantic Otto Mingus, Seeker for Slytherin, could either. He was a beast, and not the most agile player. She was more worried about what dirty tactic they would use to defeat them this time; that is if she even came close to catching the Snitch.

"You underestimate yourself," said Sirius one morning as they were snuggling in the common room after a gruelling practice. Everyone else had gone to breakfast, but they chose to steal a few moments to themselves in front of the hearth before joining them. "You always think you don't know what you are doing out there, but you do."

She knew her level of Quidditch confidence could stand to improve some. She was perfectly confident in most other aspects of school life, except Potions, and the older she got, the less she cared about people's perception of her. Yet she couldn't give herself an ounce of praise when it came to Quidditch. As crazy at it sounded, even to her, she feared that if she acknowledged her skill, it would be taken from her. She felt it must have been some lingering complex from the time after her grandfather had passed and she was forced to live with her mother, since he too was ripped from her when she least expected it, and the turmoil that ensued afterwards was more than a bit disturbing. It was amazing how such a short episode in her life could leave such a lasting scar.

"I don't want to tempt fate by thinking I'm good at it, I suppose," she tried to explain to him.

Sirius just grinned and shook his head. He adored her; neurotic tendencies and all. What a surprise she had been to him that year. In a million years, he never would have thought that Annabelle O'Neill would be his girlfriend. He never thought she'd look at him without disdain, let alone smile at him, and he regretted that he probably wouldn't have given her a chance either had they not been coerced into being lab partners. Without James and Lily, they wouldn't have become friends, they wouldn't have kissed, and he'd be so much poorer for it.

He put his head back on the sofa and sighed. "I love you, Annabelle," he revealed absently as he gazed into the fire, his fingers playing with her hair while her head rested on his shoulder. He hadn't been thinking, but just speaking the words that felt natural. His eyes instantly widened; he couldn't believe he'd let it slip out. Even though he meant it, he hadn't wanted to scare her off by saying it too soon, since his feelings for her intimidated him as well at times.

Annabelle's heart leapt when he said it. She looked at him and asked, "Do you mean that?"

He nodded as he bit his lip nervously; then he looked back at her. "Yes. I do."

She didn't make him suffer the agony of waiting for a response to a statement like that, especially since she'd been hoping he'd say it first

"I love you, too," she said, grinning. He stared her for a moment as though she'd said something unheard of, and her grin faded. "What?"

He answered by kissing her. Knowing that everyone was at breakfast gave them a false sense of security and their kissing eventually turned into more. Clothing was being unfastened, hands were venturing into new territory… It was so tempting knowing that his dorm room was empty, and they could've slipped up the stairs, but there was always a chance that someone could walk in on them. Also, dear Drusilla's sage voice echoed in Annabelle's again. She'd made sure to emphasise in her lessons on boys all those years ago that boys often tell you they love you, but they don't often mean it. They're just saying it to get into your knickers, as Drusilla put it. At the time, young Annabelle had asked how you'd ever know if someone truly loved you then. Drusilla said, don't have sex with a boy just because he says I love you. If he's willing to wait, then you're probably with a good one. If he tires of you soon after he says it; then he was just trying to get into your knickers.

Oh, but Annabelle loved him… so much… and she believed him when he said he loved her. Just as they were getting carried away, they heard voices approaching outside the portrait hole. They wrenched themselves apart, readjusting and fastening their clothing as quickly as their fumbling hands could move and jumped to opposite ends of the sofa, pretending to lounge casually like they hadn't just been all over each other.

In walked two second-year girls, looking like they'd just seen Godric Gryffindor himself sitting before them.

"Hello," one said, beaming a big toothy smile, and waved awkwardly.

"Hello," Sirius said back, and the girls slapped their hands over their mouths, muffling squeals as they scurried off to the girls' staircase.

"Wow," Annabelle said. "I would say they're crazy, but when I see you I kind of have to resist doing that very same thing."

Sirius laughed, despite appearing a bit embarrassed by the girls' reaction. "You, my darling, are something else."

"We'd probably better go _do_ something else, like eat breakfast, before any more members of the Sirius Black fan club arrive," Annabelle teased, although it was probably for the best that the girls interrupted, she thought once she had her wits about her again. She didn't want her first time to be an impulsive shag and run, and the thought of one of the other boys possibly walking in on them made her shudder with horror.

"You know you want to join the fan club," he said. "Lifetime membership is free, you know- but only for you."

"Are you kidding? I'm the president of your fan club."

She moved to stand, but he asked her to wait for a minute while he went to his room for something. He came back down and handed her a small wrapped box.

"But it's too soon - it's not Christmas yet," Annabelle said as he sat beside her.

"I figured since I have you alone, I'd give it to you early. I wish it was more, but my parents don't exactly send me an allowance these days."

"You didn't have to do this, really."

"Just open it, Annie. Please?" he prodded her eagerly.

She pulled the wrapping paper off to reveal an antique music box, painted with vibrant green hills and a bright blue sky dotted with white clouds. The Irish word _Céadsearc_ was painted in the clouds in a swirly golden script. When she opened it, a tiny fairy that looked so real Annabelle thought it might fly out of the box, danced around in a circle while flitting her sparkling gossamer wings. When the music began, Annabelle recognised it instantly as her breath caught and tears filled her eyes. Sirius smiled.

"Fields of Athenry," she said in a hushed voice, as though anything louder might frighten the fairy away. The song brought her back to their first kiss as they danced to that very song at Moore's.

"That sad old song, that is now a happy song to me," he said. "Not sure what the writing on it means, but I suppose it'd be easy to find out. Do you like it?"

She nodded. "Oh, Sirius, it's _perfect_. Where did you find it?"

"During our last trip to Hogsmeade, when you and Lily went into Gladrags Wizardwear right before we left, James and I stopped off in Dervish & Banges. They had so much stuff all over that I don't know how I saw it in the clutter, but there it was, on little stand by the window. I thought you'd like the picture on it as well, being as it's Irish like your granddad."

"I love it for so many reasons," she replied as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I will cherish it always. Thank you, Sirius." She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

"You're welcome," he said.

"Well, since you gave me a present, I should probably go get yours," she said excitedly.

"No, no. I don't expect anything in return."

"It's already done. And I was having a hard time waiting to give it to you, so I'm actually quite pleased you gave me an excuse. Just give me a moment."

She hurried off and when she returned, she had large rectangular object wrapped in brown paper. It had a sprig of mistletoe attached to the front.

"Sorry for the dull paper," she said as she sat down and handed him the gift. "The mistletoe makes it cheerful though, don't you think?"

"I don't know how the paper feels about it, but it certainly makes me cheerful," he said with a grin. "I think I'll carry this with me for the next two weeks, so be prepared."

He tore the paper off and his jaw dropped open, his eyes like saucers. He looked at Annabelle, but she couldn't tell if it was a pleased reaction or something else.

"Well?" she asked, flinching a little, hoping she hadn't made a mistake.

"Do you know what this is, Annie? Do you?" he asked, getting more excited with every syllable.

"It's a signed Ballycastle Bats Quidditch poster. Professor McGonagall had it framed for me when she was in Diagon Alley a couple weeks ago."

"It's from the 1960 championship, signed by the entire bloody team!" he exclaimed. "How did you ever get your hands on this?"

"It was my granddad's," she replied, relieved he was pleased.

"Annabelle, how can I take this? Isn't it too special to you?"

"I have so many things of my grandfather's that are special to me. A Quidditch poster is not one of them. He would want someone who loves the sport to have it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," she said. "I remember you wearing their shirt a couple times, before we were friends. And the only reason I remember that is because it ticked me off; you, a boy that pulled mean faces at me, wearing my granddad's favourite team."

Sirius chuckled. "I'll bet it did."

"Now, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather give this to."

"Thank you so much," he said, as he surveyed the poster. "This is, hands down, the best gift I have ever been given. The others are going to be so bloody jealous. I'm going to have to put a sticking charm on it so they don't try to nick it."

"I'm glad you're happy with it," she said, delighted by his excitement.

"I'm ecstatic. How did he get all the signatures?"

"He had a few connections," she teased.

"Of course he did, he was Darien O'Neill," he replied, still smiling. "I'm going put this in a safe place for now. Be right back, don't leave without me."

"Never."

When he joined her again, they headed through the portrait hole and down to the Great Hall. Students were starting to fill the corridors.

"Come on," he said. "Maybe Izzy can slip us some leftovers before class."

They made their way to the kitchens to visit their friend Izzy the house-elf before facing their friends and the inevitable questioning of where they had been all through breakfast. As they walked, Sirius held her hand tightly, feeling like he might float away if he let go. Love wasn't a Black Family value, and the word itself was so rarely spoken at home, it might as well have been banned. How could he articulate to her the weight those three words carried for him, and the sheer elation he felt hearing them from her? How could she understand his own relief that he was not only capable of loving someone else, but that with her, he was in deep? He was glad his feelings had slipped out. It was as though he had broken one of the shackles with which his parents had chained him, the one they had placed on his heart, and the new freedom was intoxicating.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

By the end of the week, the Quidditch team was extremely tense and moody. Daily Quidditch practices and tensions over the approaching Slytherin game were making them snippy with each other. The two teams were so close in points that it could almost be called a tie, and so they spent equal time off the pitch, sitting down and trying to figure out what tricks the Slytherin team might have up their sleeves. They reviewed stories of professional games where cheating had been suspected or proven, hoping to be prepared for whatever Slytherin had in store for them. They devised plays for every possible situation they could think of.

It made Annabelle crazy that most of the scenarios they were coming up with revolved around what the opposing team might do to her, since taking out the Seeker would pretty much guarantee they won, unless the others hustled to make up for those points before the Snitch was caught. As far as skill was concerned, Gryffindor had the advantage. If Slytherin played fair, then it would be an easy win. But, when it came to poor sportsmanship, Slytherin took the prize and everyone feared they had waited until the last game to really showcase how twisted they could be.

At the end of every practice, they did drills, which always ended with Annabelle still trying to master standing on her broom. They had noticed a slight improvement, and were allowing her to practise with Bludgers while very close to the ground, because their nerves couldn't take the falling. She was doing all right, but every time she got a little height and speed, she'd panic and sit back down. Any improvement was something though, and she clung to the fact that she still had one week left to practise.

The following Monday, with less than a week to the game, Annabelle walked to class with Sirius, hand in hand. Of course, the last thing she needed in addition to the stress of the looming game was a run-in with Elsinore. But there she was, waiting for Sirius outside the classroom. Annabelle had reached her limit with the mad crone.

"What in Merlin's Beard does she want now?" Annabelle said through gritted teeth.

"I will handle it, Annie," Sirius said, recognizing her tone as the same one she had used on Malachi in class, not to mention on Sirius himself and his mates in the distant past. It was the sign that her temper had reached its boiling point, and the last thing he wanted her to do was to give Elsinore what she wanted most; attention.

As they approached the door they saw Lily and James waiting too, aware that trouble might erupt. Lily was ready for it if Annabelle was, but Sirius knew he had to tread lightly. He couldn't ignore the encounter and risk Annabelle feeling slighted, but he also couldn't risk inciting the maniac's rage with the match approaching, and in effect, making more problems for the team, specifically for Annabelle.

Elsinore handed a dark green envelope to Sirius.

"What the hell is this?" he asked her coldly. Annabelle stayed by his side, mildly smirking at her.

"It's an invitation to our party. My mum asked me to give you one. I know you said you couldn't make it, but I thought in case you changed your mind..."

Sirius took the envelope and opened it. He showed it to Annabelle.

"Wow, fancy," said Annabelle.

"Are you interested in going to this party with me, darling?" he said to her.

Annabelle laughed. "Sorry my love, as much I'd be delighted to go to a party with you, this one looks like it might be a bit stuffy, if you know what I mean."

Elsinore narrowed her eyes at Annabelle then grinned malevolently.

"The lady has spoken and it's a no," Sirius said to her as he handed the invitation back to Elsinore. "Sorry, but _still_ not interested."

He put his hand on the small of Annabelle's back and ushered her into the room before it could go any further. Annabelle turned her head back, though, and said in her poshest affectation, "I _do_ hope it's a _smashing_ good time!"

Lily and James followed them into the room, Lily smiling smugly at Elsinore the same way Annabelle had, and James just shaking his head in disgust at her.

Once they were in the room, Sirius said to Annabelle, "Just relax. It's probably just their way of messing with our heads before the game. Don't give in to them."

She nodded, and buried her rage.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The Friday before the match, Annabelle was feeling her customary nausea, unable to eat, focus, or breathe properly all day. They had their last practice that morning; their last one of the year. No one felt ready, but then they never would when matched against monsters.

Sirius held her hand all through Potions in an attempt to keep her grounded. He'd seen her nervous before, but this was new. She hadn't had anything for breakfast except for copious amounts of tea and she looked as pale as a ghost. Her every move seemed fraught with tension and she wasn't talking much, except in one word answers. Again, he was wishing he'd kept his Quidditch obsession to himself so that he'd never have known she could catch a Snitch, and then he could have spared her, and himself, this torment. His fear was that their fight with the Slytherins was only going to influence them more on the pitch. He knew they wanted revenge, and the pitch was a perfect place for them to get it because they could blame everything on a Bludger.

As they exited class, Lily and Alice swooped in around her and ushered her off ahead of the boys to the Great Hall. Sirius hoped they could calm her down, because he couldn't.

"She's a mess," said James, stopping and leaning against the wall.

"This is going to be the longest twenty-four hours of my life," replied Sirius watching as the girls strode off.

Just then, his eyes flashed with fury as he clenched his jaw. James immediately looked to see what he was looking at, and said, "That tosser, again?"

Rowan approached the girls. He was saying something, but it didn't appear that Annabelle was even looking at him. Lily said something and he turned and walked a few feet with them until he went in the direction of the loo. Annabelle glanced back to see if Sirius had noticed, then looked away again.

"What the fuck was that?"

"That guy needs his head screwed on correctly," said James. "Shall we?"

"You know what? I think so."

The boys headed straight for the loo, but the girls had been waiting for them in front of the Great Hall. Lily and Alice sidestepped in front of them, blocking their attempts to follow the unsuspecting Hufflepuff. The encounter with Rowan only made Annabelle feel sicker, and she started to feel dizzy from her nerves and not having eaten.

"Leave it alone, Sirius," said Lily. "He just said good luck tomorrow and asked if she was ill. That's all."

"It was harmless," said Alice. "Really."

"You can't punish him for being polite," Lily said.

"Just want to have a chat with him, Lily," said Sirius as he tried to get around her.

"He needs to stop upsetting my team," James said, reaching for any excuse to go after him for Sirius's sake. "He's bringing down morale."

Annabelle felt her stomach turn, and she ran for the door, wrenching it open just in time to vomit into the snow.

"Ewwww!" some third years girls who had been passing exclaimed.

"Pavement pizza!" their male counterparts called out, pointing and giggling.

Sirius jogged over to her and brought her back inside the castle. Alice followed, pushing the heavy the door shut.

"Annabelle, are you going to be all right?" Sirius asked. "Because if you are this nervous about it now then I don't think it's ethical to have you out there tomorrow."

"I feel a lot better now, actually," she said. "I felt like that was coming all day."

"Maybe you should go lie down. What if you're ill?"

"I'm not ill. And I'm not going anywhere while you and James are on a mission to instigate a fight with someone as inconsequential as Rowan Summerby."

"I just want to know his story, that's all," said Sirius. "As in why does he keep chatting up my girlfriend and why doesn't she tell him to get stuffed?"

"I was about to be sick, Sirius. I wasn't even paying attention to him, I promise."

"Then why did you turn and look at me?"

She stared at him for moment, and when he grew impatient, she answered, "Because I knew _you_ were paying attention. And probably reading too much into it, as usual. It's not like he invited me to a family Christmas party or anything."

Sirius flinched as though wounded, and she instantly regretted her words.

"I'm sorry... That wasn't fair of me," she said gently. "I know you are as irritated by Elsinore as I am, and contrary to what you think, I am also annoyed that Rowan keeps talking to me. Maybe not for the same reasons you are, but I do find him rather pesky."

"Pesky? He's worse than a bloody Nogtail."

Annabelle laughed for the first time all day. "And you think I exaggerate?"

Sirius smiled too, and said, "You know what I mean."

"You know, you're extra cute when you're jealous," Annabelle said as she squeezed his hand.

"Aww… I'd kiss you right now for that, but I don't think I want the taste of Earl Gray-vomit preceding my lunch."

She laughed. "I think I'll pop upstairs to brush my teeth, but for now I'll settle for a hug."

He pulled her in close, squeezing her extra tightly. He would never admit it to her, but he had an ominous feeling that he couldn't shake. He wished he could just hold her forever, to protect her from the dangers he sensed were lurking in the shadows all around them.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The members of the Quidditch team, along with Lily, Alice, Remus, and Peter sat around the fire in the common room that night. James wanted to give them a chance to review plays and come up with any more possible scenarios, hoping that wise and analytical Remus could add to the discussion, since he knew the game as well as any of them. After a while they needed a break from talking about Slytherin's twisted ways, and the conversation drifted into other topics.

Fairfax said, "I can't believe my last match ever is tomorrow. I am going to miss this."

That made everyone a touch sad, since Fairfax was a seventh-year and would be graduating in the spring. Caradoc looked especially sad since Fairfax was his best mate.

"We're going to miss you, too," said Johnny B. with a frown. Fairfax had beat the shite out of a kid during his fourth year who had dared make fun of Johnny B. for being gay in front of him. Fourteen-year-old Fairfax had already been tall and strong, and that was the last time anyone dared mess with Johnny B.

"Yeah, we are, mate," said Sirius. "You'll come back to visit, though, and we'll play a match together."

Fairfax nodded glumly. Annabelle had only become acquainted with him that year, and she felt like she'd be losing a big brother.

"Who will catch me when I fall off my broom?" she asked.

They all laughed, but she meant it. Besides Sirius, he had always been the one to volunteer to spot her first, and she felt safer knowing he was on the pitch with her.

"Does that mean you aren't quitting the team after tomorrow?" James asked.

"Ask me again, tomorrow," she said.

After a while, they were starting to fade. Daily practice and stress had made them exhausted.

"All right, I think it's time," said James with a sigh. "Off to Bedfordshire for all of us. The more we sleep tonight, the more alert we'll be in the morning."

Annabelle didn't want to go to bed just yet though. She knew she'd be tossing and turning, and if Lily and Alice weren't going to bed yet, she didn't want to be in their room alone in case Dominica tried to curse her in her sleep or something.

"Are you going upstairs?" Sirius asked her. They had been sitting on the floor side by side, and now she was hugging her knees to herself, as he rubbed her back.

"Not yet," she answered.

He could tell she was going out of her mind worrying about the game, but he couldn't tell her to relax, because he was going out of his mind too.

"What are you thinking?" he asked her.

"That we will lose to Slytherin because of me."

"Even if we do, it's just part of the game," he assured her. He didn't care at that point if they lost. He just wanted her safe from those sociopaths.

She said no more, but she put her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. He whispered to her, "I love you. So much."

She slung her arm around the front of him and gave him a tight squeeze.

"I love you, too," she whispered back.

A short time later, they all went to their dorms. Lily and Alice wanted her to sleep, and they knew Dominica could be lurking about. As expected Annabelle tossed and turned, but she did eventually fall asleep, and she dreamt of monstrous ghouls on brooms, wearing green and silver, and Bludgers the size of boulders flying all around.

When she woke up in the morning, she headed straight to the loo to vomit. Miraculously, she didn't. Annabelle hoped it was a good omen, and she went to get ready for the match.

 


	32. Open Your Eyes

At breakfast, the team was doing their best to put on a brave face. No one wanted the Slytherin team members to see them sweat, but it was a challenge to muster any kind of enthusiasm. Annabelle swallowed some dry toast and had a cup of tea. She couldn't force down another bite. James was sitting next to Lily for the first time since they'd broken up, and Annabelle saw him take her hand. She didn't let go.

Then it was time for the team to head out to the pitch. Annabelle felt glued to her seat.

Johnny B. said, "I'll carry you, Annie, if you need me to."

The offer almost made her cry.

"Thank you, Johnny B., but I'll manage."

Lily walked outside with them and James stopped with her for moment while the others continued on.

"Wish us luck," he said, "because we're going to need it."

"It's going to be fine," she tried to reassure him.

"Normally I'd agree, but I have a bad feeling about this match. There are some dark, dangerous guys on that team that would like nothing more than to annihilate us for reasons other than winning a trophy."

"Now you're making _me_ nervous. Maybe you should tell Dumbledore what you're thinking. Or just forfeit." Even as she said it she knew the majority of the team would be against it. Annabelle herself would never want to forfeit, even if it meant risking bodily harm to prove a point.

"Dumbledore knows something is brewing," James said. "He has to."

Lily had never seen him nervous before a match. He was always so cool and collected. Seeing him like this made her hurt for him, and she couldn't resist the urge to hug him. He hugged her back, and they stood like that for a few moments, wrapped in each other's arms.

"I still love you, James."

He pulled back to look at her, and then kissed her softly on the lips.

"Oh Lil, I love you, too," he said as he held her close. "Never stopped."

Finally, they let each other go, and Lily headed back inside the castle to grab her Gryffindor pennant to wave around at the game and to wait for the others. On her way back into the Great Hall to meet her friends she bumped into Severus, who had been exiting.

"Sorry," she said awkwardly.

"S-sorry," he stuttered, his eyes meeting hers briefly. "It's lovely to see you, Lily."

She felt a pang of despair when she looked at him at that moment. Here was someone who had been a friend once upon a time. Someone she trusted and for whom she cared deeply. Now, she was horrified that she'd allowed herself to ever be close with him. He had changed, and she felt something akin to fear when she saw him now, even though she didn't think he'd do anything to hurt her. It was the class of people he was associating himself with, and the darkness that seemed to engulf him that devastated her. Those were _his_ mates that Annabelle, James, and Sirius would be facing on the pitch that morning. His mates that were driving hers insane over this match.

"Are your friends going to hurt them?" she asked, her voice shaking. She didn't know what impelled her to ask, but she felt she must, in case he'd be open to telling her something.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said flatly.

"Yes, you do," she said. "The match today. What are they planning to do to my friends?"

"Honestly," he replied. "I don't know anything about it. I am not on the team."

She wanted to demand he tell her what he knew; what tricks they had up their sleeves, but she said no more, lest James see her talking to him. She would not allow this shadow of a former friend nor his ghoulish crew do anything to destroy the life she'd built for herself.

"Good day, Severus," she replied coldly, and went to meet her friends for the match.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It was another cold day as expected, but the wind was calm and it wasn't snowing. It was the best they could hope for at that time of year. Annabelle sat in her changing area after putting on her uniform just trying to stop shaking. Professor McGonagall had recently shared with her some deep breathing techniques that she used to employ before matches, and she said they made a world of difference for her. Annabelle figured she had nothing to lose by trying. Soon, though, she heard her name being called.

She joined her teammates for the last game of the season feeling torn between her anxiety over the match and her gratitude that these lads had allowed her to be a part of this experience; however terror inducing it had been. She looked at Fairfax and he looked back at her, giving her an encouraging wink. Johnny B. gave her braids a little tug, and Sirius just gazed at her, knowing that no gesture he could demonstrate to her right then would be nearly enough to encompass everything he was feeling at that moment.

When they huddled together, James said, "This is it. We've worked hard this season, and I mean it when I say I wouldn't want to be on the pitch with anyone else. I am so proud to be on this team. Just play your best, as you always do."

James wasn't feeling up to his normal battle cry so Caradoc handled it for him, roaring, "WE ARE MIGHTY GRYFFINDOR!" It cut through the tension and gave them the kick they needed to get out onto the pitch and fight.

Before the game had even begun, Annabelle eyed Otto Mingus, the Slytherin Seeker and the brute that Dominica had involved in their mass duel. He had cheated last time, or else she would have caught the Snitch, and she knew he would do something equally as rotten this time, since he couldn't win without cheating. He was trying to get her going by glaring at her and making lewd faces at her, but she remained aloof to his taunts and stared him down.

Once the game had begun, her teammates gave it all they had. They were determined to score as many points as possible and send as many Bludgers toward the Slytherins as they could before something unforeseen could happen. Sirius tried to focus on the task at hand knowing that Dumbledore was standing on the sidelines as well; a first for the year since he normally sat in the stands. It was a bit unsettling that Dumbledore felt the need to be there, but it made Sirius feel a little safer knowing he was looking out for them.

Annabelle felt relatively calm at first. Everything was going smoothly. Only a few Bludgers managed to get close to her, but she dodged them all. Otto had been hit a couple times, but being as massive as he was, they didn't seem to affect him much. The cold was starting to bother her eyes, and the Snitch was hiding well. At one point, Otto tricked her, and she heard the Slytherin students in the stands laughing as she flew past. She even heard some of them boo her.

About forty-five minutes into the game, Evan Rosier, the Slytherin Keeper yelled to her as she flew past, "DIE MUDBLOOD," then cackled wildly as James scored on him. The way he laughed even though they were clearly losing scared her. If they weren't there to win, what were they there for?

It brought her strong façade crumbling down and she began to feel overwhelmed. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._ She chanted the mantra in her head as a few actual tears mixed in with the ones formed by the cold. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but she suddenly felt aggrieved, like she was ten years old again, getting teased for wearing dirty clothes to school, or when she was fifteen and the most popular boys at Hogwarts had laughed at her. These were the same boys for whom she was up there flying around in the freezing air, possibly for whom she was about to humiliate herself by risking life and limb in order to win a game she was entirely indifferent towards. She wanted to leave the pitch, and in her state of frustration, she thought of quitting, right then and there. That was when the Snitch whizzed past her, halting her downward spiral into an ugly-cry.

She turned quickly in the opposite direction, completely fooling Otto, then zipped back around where she saw it zooming across the pitch near the Gryffindor goal posts. She sped after it as fast as her broom could take her, not daring to look back to see where Otto was.

"I've got ya, Annie! Go for it!" Caradoc called to her, ready to guard her from Bludgers once she appeared to see the Snitch.

She was about to grab it when Otto smacked into her, pushing her off her broom. She held on tight though, remounted it, and zoomed back around as the Snitch seemed to be circling the pitch. She quickly caught up with Otto who had been hit with a Bludger delivered by Fairfax.

Suddenly, she heard Caradoc cry out in pain, but she knew he'd scold her for checking on him so she continued to chase the Snitch. The Snitch looped back around toward the centre of the pitch giving Annabelle a slight advantage. Just as she was about to grab it, it went higher. She wondered momentarily why Otto was no longer next to her. She was so close, and again she tried to grab it as it skittered just out of her reach. She knew what she had to do, as she carefully got to her feet on her broom, shaking like a leaf while trying to breathe. She kept her knees slightly bent as they'd taught her, leaned slightly forward while balancing precariously as her broom gave a wobble. Just as she stabilised herself, she thought she heard someone shout something about a wand, but she pushed it out her mind, telling herself she was hallucinating. Players were forbidden from carrying wands during games. It was enough to get you kicked off the team, or worse if you actually used it.

The Snitch fluttered in front of her; just one more step toward the end of her broom and she could catch it. She reached out, and just as she felt like she had it, she heard Sirius holler her name, and an agonizing pain exploded in her back between her spine and her shoulder. Then the world went dark.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle had been halfway between the Gryffindor goal posts and the centre of the pitch when a Bludger smashed into her left shoulder blade. It had been dispatched at close range by the diabolical Slytherin Beater Amycus Carrow. Caradoc, who had been guarding her, had been hit in the upper part of his swinging arm with a Bludger that fractured his humerus and made him drop his bat. Otto Mingus had discreetly flashed his wand a few seconds later, causing her teammates to turn their attention away from Annabelle, who they could see was about to catch the Snitch, in order to stop Otto. Even though Dumbledore cast the wand out of Otto's hand, Amycus immediately took advantage of the momentary lapse of security near Annabelle and seized his moment, rapidly smashing a Bludger into her. It all happened so fast that none of them saw it coming until it was upon her; no one understood until it was over.

Her body had been spun around by the force of the Bludger and she fell fast, but abruptly slowed down when Madam Hooch cast the Arresto Momentum spell on her. Gracefully, she was lowered with the help of Madam Hooch's wand onto her back and her teammates immediately rushed to her side. Lily, Alice, Remus, Peter, and Claire, who had been sitting with them, began to make their way down out of the stands.

"Annabelle!" Sirius exclaimed, as he hopped off his broom and ran to her, kneeling at her head, holding it in his hands. "Open your eyes, Annabelle. Say something."

"Come on, Annabelle," said Johnny B., tears shimmering in his eyes. "Look at us, please!"

"God damn it, is she breathing?" James asked in a frightened voice.

"Help!" Sirius yelled frantically. " _Hurry!"_

Madam Pomfrey was already making her way across the field, followed by Professor McGonagall and a bandaged Caradoc who ignored her orders to stay put. Dumbledore stayed on the sidelines with Otto Mingus and Amycus Carrow. He was waiting for a signal that all was well before taking them in for questioning.

"Back up!" the nurse yelled and the team members stepped back a few feet, watching in horror. "And don't move her. She may have broken something." Sirius let go of her, but didn't move away.

Fairfax burst out, "This is my fault. I should have been covering her instead of going after Mingus!"

Caradoc, his arm immobilised in a splint until a healing spell could be properly administered, wailed, "If I hadn't been hit, this wouldn't have happened!"

"They hit you on purpose!" cried Johnny B. "It's no one's fault but theirs!"

"That's correct," agreed Professor McGonagall who hovered over Madam Pomfrey's shoulder. "You cannot blame yourselves. Now please try to remain calm!"

As Madam Pomfrey examined her, she said, "She's breathing… pulse is normal." Then she pried open each of her eyes and lit up the tip of her wand to check for dilation. "Pupils look good."

Next, she pulled a small blue glass bottle out of her bag, uncorked it and put it under Annabelle's nose. The following moments felt like an eternity as the nurse waved it back and forth, tapping her cheek.

"Come on, Annie. Wake up," Sirius urged her through gritted teeth as he fought to remain composed. "Why won't she wake up?"

The nurse mumbled something in Professor McGonagall's ear about St. Mungo's. By now the others had arrived and Alice and Lily fell to the ground on their knees next to Sirius.

"Open your eyes, Annie, please?" said Lily gently as her tears ran down her cheeks. James squatted next to her and put his arm around her.

Madam Pomfrey tapped her cheek again and said, "All right, dear. You've sufficiently upset everyone, now open your eyes… open your eyes."

She waved the bottle under her nose several more times. And there it was. A tiny flutter of eyelids. A slight movement of her head. One more wave of the blue bottle under her nose, and her eyes opened.

"Annabelle?" Sirius asked.

Annabelle groaned and he touched her face again and kissed her forehead, his eyes shut tightly.

"Say something," he murmured into her ear.

"Are you able to speak?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"I think so," she said.

"Excellent. Can you move?" the nurse asked.

Annabelle jerked her right arm out from under her body where it had gotten stuck upon her landing, bringing her closed fist above her eyes where she could see it, then opened her hand. There in her palm was the Golden Snitch.

"She caught it," said James, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"Holy shite," said Caradoc.

She began to sit up, but Madam Pomfrey warned her to go slow. Annabelle smiled and held the Snitch above her head. With that, her teammates started hooting and shouting victoriously, scooping her up despite Madam Pomfrey's protestations. Fairfax and Johnny B. supported her on their shoulders as she waved the Snitch around and the crowd erupted in cheers.

Sirius broke down and doubled over in the snow with his head in his hands, relief flooding over him.

Lily rubbed his back and a tearful Alice said, "It's all right, she's okay."

He couldn't speak though; he was so overwhelmed with what had happened. He thought she'd died. That she had died trying to catch a Snitch. For him.

While up on their shoulders, though, Annabelle kept twisting to one side, feeling a pounding pain in her left shoulder, and she asked them to put her down. Madam Pomfrey scolded them for moving her before she was done examining her and asked where she was hurting. She indicated a spot on her back, below her shoulder. When Madam Pomfrey touched it, Annabelle yelped in pain.

"That is your scapula. You probably have a fracture," she said.

"Why would I lose consciousness over a broken bone?" Annabelle asked.

"Most likely from shock. Sudden and severe pain can have that effect," she replied. "It is not easy to break this bone so there must have been extreme force behind that Bludger." Then she turned to Professor McGonagall, who looked as white as a sheet, and said, "I'm going to escort her and the other one to the hospital ward. I'd like to screen them properly to confirm which bones need healing. Thankfully, neither hit their heads and they are stable, so just a closer examination and a spell or two and they should be as good as new."

"I'll be in to check on you shortly," McGonagall said to Annabelle and Caradoc, and she strode off toward the castle.

Sirius sat back on his heels, wiped his face on his arm, and got up. He went to her side and put his arm around her to help her up.

"Are you sure you can walk?" he asked her.

"Yes, I am fine, except for my shoulder," she said, noticing that he wasn't celebrating their win over their arch-rivals. "You're breaking my heart with that sad face. We won! Smile!"

He smiled half-heartedly, but said nothing.

"You had us scared for a bit, Annie," Lily said as she and Alice took turns gently hugging her right side. "I am so glad this is over for the year."

Sirius offered Annabelle his arm and she took it. "I don't even know what happened," she said, as they began walking off the pitch. "Was it just a Bludger?"

Fairfax shook his head, and James said bitterly, "No, it wasn't just a Bludger. Mingus broke out his wand to distract us so Carrow could have a window. It was another set-up. Had to be."

"Otto Mingus was just a pawn for them," said Johnny B. "He's not a real Seeker and he never cared about playing the game. He's graduating anyway, so why would he care about being kicked off the team?"

"Exactly," said Remus, Claire still by his side. "They manage to take Caradoc out, then Mingus brandishes his wand to turn your attention from Annabelle, Carrow takes her down and Mingus swoops in to catch the Snitch. In the event that he gets caught, he gets a minor punishment since he didn't actually use the wand, and he's no worse for the wear since, as Johnny B. pointed out, he's done with school soon. Meanwhile, Carrow gets away with it because it's part of his position to send Bludgers at the Seeker."

"It goes to show how daft they are, really, that they didn't take into account that his wand might be noticed by others, like Dumbledore for instance," offered Claire Shaw.

"Daft is an understatement," said James. "I thought Slytherins were supposed to be clever. I guess their Quidditch team is exempt from that theory."

"Or they didn't care, and figured if they couldn't win, Gryffindor would pay the price," said Alice.

They all knew they'd pull some kind of awful trick, so they weren't surprised, and the puzzle pieces were coming together. Despite the cheating and the injuries, they had a small spring in their steps knowing that they'd beaten Slytherin, and the Quidditch Cup was theirs.

"Well, I don't give a fig about this broken arm," said Caradoc. "We won. We beat the lousy scumbags."

"And Annabelle bloody well caught the little bugger," mused Fairfax. "Who'd have guessed?"

"She stood on her broom to do it, too," remarked James rather proudly.

"Can you finally admit you have talent?" Remus asked her.

"Maybe next year," she said. "For now, I'll call it luck."

Everyone was amused by her self-deprecation; everyone but Sirius. He was too absorbed in the process of beating himself up over everything that had happened. He couldn't get the image of the Bludger striking her in her back out of his head. He felt like a fool for falling victim to Slytherin's trick, and he felt worse that he couldn't protect her.

In the hospital wing, the team and their friends waited outside while Madam Pomfrey examined and treated the injured Annabelle and Caradoc. Not long after, she popped her head out the door and told them they could come in, but she'd be keeping them for an hour just for observation. In their excitement over winning, they all started to get rowdy rehashing the match. Madam Pomfrey decided she would allow only one visitor each to stay, the rest could see them after they were released.

Fairfax stayed with Caradoc and Sirius with Annabelle while a few of the others went back to the pitch to return their uniforms and retrieve their clothing from the changing rooms. Madam Pomfrey went into her office, and Sirius sat down next to Annabelle where he proceeded to make himself comfortable by folding his arms under his head, leaning back onto her pillows, and putting his feet up.

"Do you have to take up the whole bed?" he joked. "That's always the way with you. For the love of Merlin, _move over_."

Annabelle couldn't keep a straight face when he said it, even though it made her blush.

"Could you please control yourselves over there?" Fairfax teased back. "Our Caradoc is an impressionable young lad. You're going to frighten him," and he yanked the curtain across the divide between their hospital beds.

"What'd you do that for?" Caradoc asked from the other side of the curtain, pretending to be aggravated. "How else am I going to learn about the birds and the bees?"

"Oh my," muttered Annabelle, scrunching her nose up, but giggling nonetheless.

Sirius grinned and replied, "Now, now, Caradoc. Mind your manners before I'm forced to break your other arm."

Fairfax and Caradoc snickered and could be heard slapping each other five, proud of their vulgarity. Of course, it was hard for them to let it go, and Sirius then proceeded to bounce on the bed a few times making it squeak rather suggestively.

" _Oh Annabelle,_ " he moaned. " _Yes! Yes! Just like that!_ "

"My ears! My pristine, uncorrupted ears!" Fairfax shouted. It was even funnier because Fairfax was anything but "pristine" when it came to that sort of thing. He wasn't quite the equivalent of Dominica, but he had several passionate relationships over the years. Annabelle always thought Fairfax was the type of boy Drusilla was warning them about in her sex ed lessons. Handsome, charming, and would break your heart if you let him. And many had let him.

"Relax, over there! She's only scratching my back," Sirius retorted as they all started laughing.

"Would you all bloody well grow up, please?" Annabelle asked, even though she was entertained by their banter.

"Sorry, Annabelle!" called Caradoc, still laughing, and he and Fairfax began their own quiet conversation.

Sirius wasn't really in the mood for joking around much anyway. He stared up at the ceiling and asked, "How is your shoulder feeling?"

"A lot better," she replied.

When he didn't say anything, she said, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I'm bad for you," he replied quietly so the other boys wouldn't hear through the curtain.

Annabelle felt her throat constrict with anxiety when he said that. She flashed back to Dominica telling her he was just using her for Quidditch.

"Okay," she said uneasily, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I thought you were dead today, Annabelle."

"But I wasn't. Not even close."

"It would have been my fault," he lamented. "I am the one that convinced you to play and I am the one with all the enemies in Slytherin."

"They're my enemies, too."

"But they weren't before you began associating with me."

He had a point there, but it didn't matter to Annabelle.

"So?" she responded. "That's how it works. I am with you now, by choice. I can't pick and choose what comes with that. And if being with you means making enemies with them, well, I say bring on the enemies, because you are too dear to me to turn my back on."

He sat up and turned to face her. "Even if it endangers your life?"

Annabelle thought this talk sounded all too final. Now, she briefly recalled that Septima had predicted he would dump her when the Quidditch season ended because he would no longer have any use for her. She didn't believe it at the time, but now it sounded like he was trying to get rid of her.

"Are you sure you're not breaking up with me?"

"How could you think that?" he asked, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "I couldn't stay away from you if I tried. But sometimes I wonder why you don't run screaming from me, from all of this. Even if those bastards get into trouble, it isn't going to end. Why do you want to be with someone who can't seem to escape this darkness?"

She knew he was thinking about his parents, his blood status, and all the baggage that came with it. "Because it's not your fault," she said softly.

"But, Annabelle, my family… their friends… I feel like I am dragging you down into this mess with me."

"And there is no place I'd rather be than with you," she said, tears filling her eyes. "You don't have to go through it alone. Stay at the castle for Christmas, _please_."

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then said, "I have to go, Annabelle. I have to show them."

"You don't have to prove a thing to them."

He shook his head and said, "It's not that. It's that they need to see they won't win. That I will never be what they want. Once and for all, I need to put an end to it. I need to do it for myself."

Annabelle wanted to beg him to stay. She wanted to tell Dumbledore, she wanted to send an owl to James' parents pleading with them to intervene. But he was determined. He wasn't telling her everything; she could see that, but if she interfered with his obligation and caused more trouble for him by dragging others into it, she'd be responsible for anything that happened to him as a result.

"Also," he continued, "I'm curious as to what those trolls have been telling them about me."

"Please, think about it a bit more. Wouldn't you rather be here with me?"

"There is nothing I want more," he said, his hand caressing her cheek. "And you never know. I might be turning round as soon I set foot in the door, since I don't know what's waiting for me there, really."

The idea of spending Christmas with Annabelle was enticing. They'd have the run of the place, save for a handful of other students. They could be together for a whole week and half, no interruptions, no problems, no Rowan bloody Summerby to interfere. He had hated Christmas for so many years because it had become an exercise in futility trying to get his family to accept him, or at least ease up on him and leave him in peace. Every year it was worse than the year before as his parents' desperation to assimilate him back into their ideology steadily increased. He didn't want Annabelle to ask again, because he knew she might change his mind with the promise of a happy Christmas, and he had to face them, even if it was for the last time. In fact, that was the plan. If they couldn't accept him for who he was and agree to leave well enough alone, he'd decided it would be the very last time they ever saw him.

She took his hand and kissed it. "I'll be here, waiting for you when it's over."

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. His voice was filled with apprehension when he replied, "I'm counting on that."

 


	33. Shattered

That evening, the Gryffindor Quidditch team entered the Great Hall together. The Quidditch Cup winners traditionally arrived together, and the students filling the hall would erupt in a standing ovation. Annabelle had always clapped along, even though it hadn't meant much to her. When she was younger, she had thought it somewhat unfair that they received extra special attention for winning at their activity. Did the Chess champion get such a warm reception in the Great Hall? What about the Gobstones champ? No. So why should the Quidditch team?

Now, she was on the other side of the equation; she was a member of the winning team. Even then she might have felt a bit silly, but after what she'd been through that semester for this team, and what they'd been through for her, she decided to squash her cynicism for an evening and allow herself to enjoy the moment. It had been excruciating work at times, and it had required more stamina and commitment than anything else she'd ever done at school, or ever really, including her studies. If anyone deserved to be applauded, she felt her teammates did, because Quidditch wasn't just a lark for them. It was a vocation; a way of life really, and they were great at it.

She wasn't expecting the boys to hoist her on their shoulders again, along with Caradoc, but since they'd both been injured, she knew it was important to the team to show their appreciation for them suffering in the name of Quidditch glory. She was even more surprised, and moved, when the students of Gryffindor House stood on their seats to pay tribute to their champions.

Caradoc called to her from his vantage point, "Annabelle!" and shot a victorious fist into the air. His excitement was contagious, and she responded with the same triumphant gesture, causing the Gryffindor table to hoot and cheer even louder. She saw Lily and Alice, and they were cheering and beaming with pride in her, and she focused on them until the boys finally let her down.

After a short ceremony where the Quidditch Cup was presented, she couldn't have been happier to finally sit and relax, but it was an event she'd never forget for the rest of her life.

"That was the wildest, craziest, and most twisted Quidditch season ever," Johnny B. said.

"Heck yeah," said James, "And we still managed to reign victorious. We are awesome. End of story."

"I have to agree," said Remus. "Purely as a spectator, I can say the Gryffindor matches were always the most exciting to watch."

"How's it feel to be a champion, Annie?" asked Caradoc.

"Exhausting," she replied. "But, I will admit it feels good as well."

Annabelle was also happy Quidditch was over for the year. She didn't think she'd miss it, mainly because it was too bloody cold now for it to be any fun. The idea of sleeping to a normal hour instead of waking up for practice at the crack of dawn delighted her. Not being nauseous all the time? Also a good thing. Not falling off a broom several times a day? The best. As much she adored her teammates and was proud she had veered out of her comfort zone by joining them; a break was definitely in order.

As to be expected, the Slytherin table was restrained and downcast; the team itself even more so because their idiotic plot didn't work. What a disgrace to their house they were. Otto Mingus was suspended until the end of January. Amycus Carrow escaped with merely a warning. No one could prove he had any ill intent, and as Remus had predicted, he got away with it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

There was a week of school left before the Christmas holiday and she wanted to spend as much of it with Sirius as possible. She hoped he would change his mind about going home, but she knew his parents expected him, and she didn't want him to do anything that might bring about their wrath, so she stopped trying to convince him. He was preoccupied though, and it hurt her to see him suffering internally, knowing she couldn't do a thing about it. Monday morning arrived too quickly for Annabelle's liking as she was hoping to prolong the inevitable good-bye approaching at the end of the week. After class, Annabelle had to work in the library. Sirius had been escorting her there, then meeting her there again before Potions ever since the fight with Malachi, Dominica, and Elsinore, just to be on the safe side when it came to possible reprisals. He didn't want her to be alone in the halls at all. She had told him they'd be crazy to attack her outside the library, but then he reminded her that they actually were crazy, so she didn't protest.

At the door, he kissed her good-bye and as she turned to go, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him.

"I have to go," she said between kisses as she wrapped her arms around him again.

"Okay," he replied, but didn't stop kissing her, nor did she want him to. He ran his hands down to her bum, which he promptly squeezed, causing her to inhale sharply in surprise.

"Naughty, Mr. Black," she scolded as he began kissing her neck. "No Hogsmeade for you, ever again."

"Promise?" he joked back, laughing into her neck between kisses.

Just then, the library door opened and some second-years walked into the foyer, giggling and whispering to each other when they saw the amorous pair. That was enough to stop them, and Annabelle and Sirius swiftly parted ways.

"See you soon," she said as she disappeared into the library and Sirius headed up to the common room.

A bit later, he came back down to meet her for Potions. He was always a bit early, in case Madam Wigworthy let her go a few minutes ahead of schedule. As he approached the flight of stairs that would lead to the library, he heard a male voice.

"Oh, Annabelle," it said. "Just one kiss?"

Sirius froze. He wasn't sure if he'd heard it correctly.

"This feels right," the voice said raggedly. "Doesn't it?"

Sirius hadn't looked down into the foyer yet, because he was listening, concerned that if he moved they'd hear him.

The response came as a sharp whisper, " _Yes,_ _Rowan_."

Sirius' eyes widened as he bolted to the next landing, making it just in time to see Annabelle and Rowan parting lips and running off toward the back staircase that led down to Hufflepuff House. Sirius flew down the rest of stairs, but stopped in front of the library. He was stunned. He was confused. And he was shaking. At a loss for what to do, and not wanting to confront them since he already felt humiliated enough, he went to Potions.

Annabelle arrived a couple minutes late to class, hearing Dominica make a rude noise as she walked past her. She ignored her and sat down at her work table. Sirius was sitting back in his chair with his arms folded over his chest. He didn't acknowledge her when she sat down.

"Hey, Sirius," she whispered. But he wouldn't look at her. "Where were you? I waited for you in the library."

Nothing. No response. He looked like he was going to cry, or punch something.

"Did something happen?" she asked him.

Finally he turned and looked at her, narrowing his eyes. "Why don't you tell me?"

Annabelle was confused. She thought maybe he was kidding with her, even though his facial expression didn't make her want to laugh.

"Did I do something?" she asked.

"Leave me alone, Annabelle," he replied, looking down at his parchment.

"Hold on. What did I do?" she asked, no longer whispering in her rising indignation.

Sirius slammed his hand down on their work table and she jumped as a small shriek escaped her throat. Everyone turned to look at them, including James and Lily.

"Is there a problem Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill?" Professor Slughorn asked them.

"No, sir," said Annabelle. "Sorry sir."

She tried to look at Sirius again, but he refused to make eye contact. Someone else was looking at her though. Malachi was trying to taunt her by attempting to stare her down. She glared back at him for a moment, but then he started to raise his middle finger at her. She looked away, disgusted.

"Sirius," she whispered. "Talk to me, please." She reached out and touched his arm but he recoiled much the same way he had when Elsinore had put her hand on him in the Great Hall.

" _Don't_ touch me," he fumed, not caring that he was speaking at regular volume; then ran his trembling hands through his hair. "For fuck's sake, _don't_."

"Some students just never learn," Professor Slughorn said flatly. "Mr. Black, detention, tomorrow at ten AM. You can help me sort through the supply cabinet."

James and Lily looked back at them, their faces alarmed. Lily mouthed to Annabelle, "What's going on?" and Annabelle shrugged nervously.

She didn't try to talk to him again, lest he get himself into more trouble responding to her. She would have to talk to him after class. When class ended, Sirius stood up, gathered his things, and strode off toward the door without a word to anyone.

"What was that all about?" Lily asked a shaken Annabelle.

"I don't know. He's upset with me, but he wouldn't talk to me about it."

"I'll find out," James said and went after his friend.

He caught up with Sirius who was heading up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.

"Padfoot. Stop. What's going on, mate?"

Sirius stopped but instead of turning around he rubbed his brow with the base of his palm and shook his head. He couldn't say the words. They were just so ludicrous to him, yet they were true. It was true.

"What is it?" James asked. "Did something happen with you and Annabelle?"

"You could say that," he spat bitterly.

"What? Just tell me."

Sirius muttered it quickly as though trying it on for size. "She kissed that Rowan fucker."

James didn't hear and took a step closer. "What was that?"

"I said she _kissed_ that _Rowan Fucker_!" Sirius shouted, his voice cracking as he fought to compose himself.

"No way," said James, climbing the remaining steps to pat him on the back. "Impossible."

"I _saw_ her. With my own eyes! They took off before they saw me."

James, who was still incredulous, asked, "Are you sure it was her?"

"I'm not blind, mate!" Sirius snapped. "And he said her name. How many Annabelles do you know at Hogwarts that might have a Rowan after her?"

James shook his head. He couldn't believe it. Yet, Sirius claimed he saw her do it.

"Go to lunch without me," Sirius said. "I feel _sick_." With that, he charged up the stairs.

James turned back and headed to the Great Hall where he sat down in Sirius's regular spot between Annabelle and Remus. Claire had just arrived to talk to Remus, but James breezed past her with no acknowledgement, too set on solving the problem at hand to remember his manners.

"Where is he?" Annabelle asked.

"Pretty sure he went up to the common room," James said. "Did you do it?" Everyone was listening.

"Do _what_?"

"Did you snog Rowan Summerby outside the library today?"

Everyone's eyes widened. Annabelle was appalled at the question. "Are you insane?"

"Not me," he replied. "Sirius said he saw it with his own eyes."

"Then he's hallucinating. I didn't do it," she said, panic rising in her voice. "I'd never do that."

Just then, Rowan Summerby walked past on his way to his seat at the Hufflepuff table, giving Annabelle an incriminating little wink and a wave as he went. James, Remus, Claire, and Lily saw the subtle gesture, but the others missed it since they were on the other side of the table.

"Yeah, you did," James sneered, then left the table in order to go console his heartbroken friend.

Remus and Lily looked at her like they weren't sure what to think. Lily, looking very dismayed, asked, "Did you, Annabelle?"

Annabelle thought she was having a bad dream. Maybe if she pinched herself, but no, it was real. Her friends were all looking at her like they were disillusioned with her, even shocked by her, and she felt like she was breaking out in a cold sweat.

"No, I swear, I did not kiss him. I didn't even see him outside the library!" Her voice became shrill as she defended herself, and her heart pounded.

"Why would he say it if it weren't true," asked Caradoc, a look of hurt in his eyes, like he'd been fooled by her all this time.

"I don't know, but I'm about to find out!"

Annabelle got up and frantically rushed out of the Great Hall, hoping to confront Sirius and get to the bottom of this. He had obviously mistaken someone else for her. There had to be a reasonable explanation.

No one moved, because no one wanted to appear nosy, until Remus said, "I don't like this. We should go with her."

"I agree," said Lily.

They got up and jogged to catch up with Annabelle, Remus pulling Claire along with him since it didn't feel right to just leave her standing there. She smiled when he took her hand. Alice and Johnny B. went too, but Fairfax and Caradoc decided to stay out of it and Peter just didn't care enough to abandon his lunch.

Annabelle stepped through the portrait hole, but no one was in the common room. She knew he must be upstairs, but she couldn't bring herself to set foot in the boys' dorms. It felt so invasive, considering he'd gone there to escape her. He couldn't stay up there forever, or if he wasn't there, he'd have to return at some point, and just as she'd resigned herself to waiting him out, Remus arrived, with Lily, Claire, Johnny B., and Alice right behind him.

"He has to be up there, right?" Annabelle asked Remus.

"I'll go see if I can convince him to talk to you," he offered.

The girls and Johnny B. stood waiting, Claire looking around curiously at the foreign common room, and a few minutes later, Remus came back down the stairs, followed by James who went straight to Lily's side, then Sirius who stood on the last step, leaning against the doorway. He looked at Annabelle.

"Maybe we should wait outside," suggested Remus and the others reluctantly agreed.

Once the portrait hole closed, Annabelle said, "What can I say to convince you that I didn't do it?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nothing. I saw you. Can you understand that? I _saw_ you!"

"You couldn't have _seen_ me, because I didn't do it! Why would I do something like that near the library where I was expecting you any minute?"

"Maybe you wanted to get caught," he said. "You could have just done the kind thing and told me you wanted to be with him instead of humiliating me."

"But I don't want to be with him. That's just not true. Why can't you believe that?"

"I SAW YOU, ANNABELLE!"

"NO, YOU DIDN'T!"

"I have been such a fool. I knew I should have left well enough alone."

"What was that? You should have left well enough alone?" she questioned. "Why that sounds an awful lot like regret to me. You have been regretting me, haven't you?"

"No, not at all, at least not until I saw you snogging your ridiculous crush."

"Ah ha! Yes, that's what you're doing!" she laughed wildly. "You're trying get rid of me by making up a story about me cheating on you so you won't look like a tosser. I had a feeling you were having second thoughts in the hospital ward Saturday, but you needn't have gone to such trouble. All you had to do was say 'I used you for Quidditch, Annabelle. _We're through._ '"

He looked at her like she'd just wounded him all over again. "Are you off your rocker? Used you for Quidditch? Why would you think that?"

Annabelle broke down. She covered her eyes and turned toward the back of the sofa, holding onto it for support as her body convulsed with sobs. Seeing her like that momentarily made him want to reach out to her, to comfort her, but then he remembered what he had seen, and any hint of warmth was replaced with disgust.

"I'll say it now. We're through. Now go run off to Rowan."

She didn't say any more, nor did she look at him as she quickly exited through the portrait hole.

"What happened, Annabelle?" Lily asked her as she pushed past them and dashed down the stairs.

"Just let me be alone for a bit," Annabelle said, then shouted threateningly as she disappeared into a corridor below, " _Don't_ follow me!"

She went straight to her secret tower, taking advantage of the fact that most of the students were still at lunch in the Great Hall. She hadn't even thought to grab her invisibility cloak, but she had needed desperately to get away from him, so she probably would have forgone it even it had occurred to her to trek up to her room to retrieve it. Thankfully, no one was nearby when she slipped behind the pillar and through the crack in the wall, running up the circling stairs until she reached the top, and slammed herself down against the wall. She skipped her afternoon classes and stayed there all day, thinking, crying, trying to make sense of it all, but not succeeding.

Drusilla had educated them all on what it felt like to be dumped. How you wouldn't want to eat, get out of bed, or talk to anyone. You'd just want to sleep because it meant not being conscious for the gutting pain. Annabelle now felt Drusilla was spot on in her assessment, because she wanted to go to sleep in order to escape the feeling of a metaphorical bus smashing into her every time his words repeated in her head. She didn't know how she could face anyone ever again, especially since he didn't only dump her, he humiliated her by accusing her of something so beneath her, something she had never even considered doing because it just wasn't who she was. How could he think she would? Hadn't they been in love? Maybe she had been blinded by him; his charm, his looks, his endearing kindness to her in her darker moments, the laughter they had shared… It was possible she had blocked out the simple truth that he was apparently an asshole, just as she'd originally thought. Maybe she should have listened to Dominica from the beginning. She also wondered if she'd have a friend left in the world now that they all thought she was a duplicitous cheat.

She hadn't eaten anything at lunch, so at dinner time she ventured out of her sanctuary to sneak down to the kitchens where she knew the house-elves would feed her. Izzy gave her a chicken pie with chips, which Annabelle doused in vinegar. She only ate a few bites of it though when she started to feel bereft again, and couldn't endure another sour mouthful.

"Izzy hopes everything is all right for Lady Annabelle," the young elf said.

Annabelle didn't bother to tell her to knock it off with the 'Lady' rubbish this time, since she was evidently going to call her that regardless of what Annabelle said.

"It's not all right," she said, choking up with tears.

Izzy frowned and asked, "What can Izzy do to help?"

"Nothing, Izzy. It's just... my heart hurts... I don't think there is anything to be done about it," she said hopelessly.

Izzy just looked at her sadly, and said, "Izzy believes that love is, at times, a volatile magic, but when the smoke fades, all becomes clear."

Annabelle started to feel foolish, burdening this busy little elf with her drama. "You're right, Izzy," she said. "I'll survive. Please, don't worry. And thank you for dinner. I am so grateful."

Izzy took her plate and Annabelle wandered off into the corridor, finally deciding she couldn't prolong it any longer since she was tired and wanted her bed. She returned to Gryffindor tower, took a deep breath, and stepped into the common room. Much to her relief, it was empty, since the students were still at dinner. She went to her room and climbed into bed, not even bothering to change her clothes. Just as she finally started to drift off, Lily and Alice clunked into the room, their loud footfalls and whispers waking her up.

"Thank goodness, she's here," said Alice quietly.

Annabelle kept her eyes closed though, secretly willing them to leave her alone.

"Annabelle." Lily's resonant voice caused Annabelle to jump because she didn't realise she was standing directly over her. So much for pretending to be asleep.

" _Please_ ," Annabelle groaned, a fresh tear falling onto her pillowcase. "I just want to sleep."

"You can't just hide all day," Alice said. "We were worried sick about you. We even looked for you at one point."

"Professor McGonagall wants to see you, right now. She sent us to see if you were here and to escort you to her office," Lily explained.

"You didn't tell her anything about Sirius did you?" Annabelle asked.

"Of course not," she replied.

"Tell her I'm sick. Tell her anything," Annabelle replied. "I can't bear to talk about this with her right now."

"Annie, she wants to see you. Let's go," said Alice.

Annabelle sobbed softly as she tried to muster the strength to lift her head. Once she was seated, she bent over to pull her shoes on and Lily said, "You ran off so fast earlier and you were so upset. We wanted to talk to you."

"You mean no one told you what he said?"

"We know he is saying it's over," said Lily. "James told us. Sirius didn't come to dinner."

"We don't believe it though," added Alice. "He's distraught. He'll realise he made a mistake soon."

"So you believe me when I say I didn't do it?" asked Annabelle.

Lily glanced uncomfortably at Alice, and said, "Honestly, it did seem suspicious that he was so adamant that he saw you with Rowan, and then there's Rowan winking at you during lunch-"

"It was a coincidence, that's _all_ ," Annabelle cried.

"We believe you," assured Alice as Lily nodded in agreement. "We know you wouldn't lie."

"Let's go," said Lily. "She's waiting for you."

"He's not downstairs, is he?" asked Annabelle.

"He wasn't when we came up here," she replied.

Annabelle nodded and followed her friends down the stairs. Sirius was not there, much to Annabelle's relief, but several other students were and they stared at her as she left the common room. The sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins had all been present for Sirius's outburst in Potions, and word travelled fast at Hogwarts.

Professor McGonagall opened the door to her office and ushered Annabelle inside.

"Please wait here," she said to Lily and Alice before closing the door behind her.

She showed Annabelle to a chair and went to sit behind her desk.

"What happened today?" she asked gently. "You missed classes, you were absent from dinner, and you look a mess."

Annabelle was caught off guard by her candidness.

"I'm just not feeling well," she replied.

"Did you visit Madam Pomfrey?"

She shook her head. "No, ma'am."

"And why not?"

"Because, Professor, I just wanted to sleep," she replied. It wasn't a lie.

"I noticed Mr. Black wasn't at dinner either," Professor McGonagall said. "Your absence wouldn't have anything to do with his, now would it?"

Of all the things to be accused of at that moment, it had to be sneaking off with Sirius.

"Absolutely not, Professor. I haven't seen him all evening, I swear."

Professor McGonagall gave her pitying look, realizing that by the state of her, she was probably telling the truth.

"Is there something else you'd like to tell me?" she asked the dejected girl.

"No, Professor," she replied. She wanted to tell her, but the hurt was too fresh. She didn't want to bawl like a Mandrake in front of her.

"If you are still feeling ill in the morning, you are to report to Madam Pomfrey. Otherwise, I expect you to be in class tomorrow. Understood?"

"Yes, Professor," Annabelle replied.

"You may go."

Annabelle got up to leave and as she opened the door, Professor McGonagall said, "If you need to talk, Annabelle, my door is always open."

She nodded and said, "Thank you, Professor," then closed the door behind her.

The girls walked back to the common room in silence, since Annabelle didn't want to talk about it. By that time, the room was packed with students, and again people stared and some whispered, but her friends led her quickly to the stairs. Annabelle didn't bother to look for Sirius. She just wanted to get back in her bed. Lily and Alice made her wash her face and brush her teeth though, and she was taken aback when she saw her own swollen, bloodshot eyes and raw cheeks in the mirror. She looked away, finished cleaning herself up, and went to straight to bed. Sleep took pity on her and washed over her like a balm, sending hours of sweet relief from the searing pain. She opened her eyes again in the early morning darkness to a beam of moonlight streaking across the ceiling. The memory of what had happened came upon her like a Bludger, and she felt her silent tears roll back over her temples and into her ears.

 


	34. Too Far

The following morning, Annabelle still felt like she had been knocked off her broom, but the urge to sob her guts out was weakening since the initial shock of what had happened began wearing off. Lily and Alice had gone to breakfast, leaving a note saying they figured she wouldn't want to join them, but they'd bring her something to eat before class.

She sat on her bed for a moment, and thought about how she would face Sirius. The sweet little music box that he gave her sat on her bedside table and she picked it up and opened it. The fairy danced as the music played, and Annabelle's eyes clouded with tears. She shut it and put it back, resisting the urge to throw it through a window. Stage two of heartbreak was anger, Drusilla had informed them.

Professor McGonagall had warned her not to skive off class again, so she decided to get her act together and get ready. She went to take a shower and ran into Mary MacDonald, a seventh-year she didn't know very well, but who always seemed rather pleasant. She frowned in sympathy when she saw Annabelle, which led her to believe that there wasn't anyone that didn't know what had happened.

"Are you all right?" Mary greeted her.

Annabelle nodded. "You all right?"

"Might I offer you a word of advice, love?" Mary asked as she stared into the mirror, slathering on mascara.

"Sure," said Annabelle, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. The last thing she wanted to hear was unsolicited advice on love and heartbreak.

"Count your blessings you're rid of him. He's a corker that one, and a doll to boot. Always was. But not worth it, trust me."

"Why do you say that?" Annabelle asked, still feeling defensive about him for some reason.

"To start, his family most likely know all about you and I guarantee they will be pulling out all the stops as far as damage control."

"I know that," Annabelle said. "Wait, damage control?"

"They will try to get you out of the picture, dear," she explained slowly, like Annabelle was a five-year-old. "Gone. Bye-bye. Out of sonny-boy's life forever."

"Well, they missed their chance. It's done already."

"Thank your lucky stars. His lot are all loose cannons. Remember his cousin Narcissa? Sirius and that loon used to fight like crazy. Duelling in the hallways, pranking each other at every turn. You don't remember that?"

Annabelle had little memory of Sirius' cousin, who had been a sixth year when Annabelle had started at Hogwarts. She knew they didn't get along though, the whole school knew that. At the time, Annabelle had no interest in their comings and goings, but did remember how brazen they were in their animosity for one another.

"He's calmed down a bit though, hasn't he?"

"Perhaps. One would hope anyway," Mary replied. "You never know, though."

"Right, well, thanks for the advice, but I'm not sure it matters anymore," Annabelle said, and disappeared into the shower. She knew Mary meant well, but she couldn't count her blessings that he was out of her life, not when he'd been such a blessing. Or so she thought. She was beginning to feel numb, but it was better than the shattering pain.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Lily and Alice left breakfast a few minutes early so they could get a head start with Annabelle to Defence Against the Dark Arts. Annabelle had wanted to be in her seat when Sirius got there to avoid confrontation. Their assigned seats were on opposite sides of the classroom, so they managed to dodge each other entirely. Annabelle willed herself not to look at him in an effort to pretend he didn't exist, the theory being that if she could convince herself he wasn't there, she couldn't miss him anymore. She had almost succeeded, but at the end of class she lost her battle of wills with herself and glanced over at him. The pain instantly throbbed inside of her as he gathered his books and left, not looking at her once.

Since there was a break between classes, and Annabelle didn't have to work in the library on Tuesdays, she went to lie down in her room while Johnny B. and Alice worked on their assignments in the common room. She knew Johnny B. would want to analyse the situation with her, and she just didn't have the strength for that yet. Lily had gone for a walk with James, but she told Annabelle she'd be back in time to go to class early with her. Even though she knew she should be doing some school work, she chose sleep instead, and soon fell into a deep slumber.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After Defence Against the Dark Arts, Sirius headed to the Potions lab for his detention. He had spent the majority of class hoping he wouldn't be confronted with Annabelle. It hurt to think about her, let alone see her. Yesterday, he had been unaware that nobody knew where she was most of the day. James told him that she had gone off by herself somewhere and he felt a pang of guilt that something could have happened to her, but of course the following thought was that she might have been with Rowan, so he just pushed it all out of his head. If he kept agonizing over it, he might take his anger out on Rowan himself, even though he knew Annabelle was a willing participant. He wished he could erase her from his consciousness.

It didn't help that his friends weren't sure whether or not they believed him. James did at first, but then after talking to Lily, he told Sirius that maybe he needed glasses. As if he wouldn't recognise Annabelle. Remus thought maybe he misheard the name, but he most definitely had not. It had all been as clear as a bell. And you can't unring a bell.

When he entered the Potions lab, he was irritated to see Snivellus there, sucking up to Slughorn as usual. Neither boy acknowledged the other.

"Why hello there, Mr. Black. Glad to see you're on time. Come right this way," said Professor Slughorn. He led him to the massive supply cabinet at the front of the room, and handed him a parchment that had a checklist on it a mile long. "Just go through and check off the ones that are full, and circle the ones that are half full. The rest, leave blank. Don't mind Severus. He's volunteered to brew some potions for me, but he shouldn't be in your way."

Sirius had done this task before during detention. It was tedious, but it could be quite soothing when done alone. Severus being present made it difficult to zone out though, especially since he seemed to be purposely getting in front of him to borrow ingredients. Sirius was in no mood for this git.

"What would I do without you, Severus?" Slughorn cooed as Sirius silently mimicked him behind his back. "You are a gem."

Sirius began to work faster, hoping that if he finished early, he'd be let go. Of course, as he kneeled down to check the bottles in the bottom of the cabinet, Severus got right in front of him again, standing there with his ripped robes dangling in Sirius's face. He waited, trying to stay calm. This aggravating dance of Sirius making progress, then stopping for Severus went on for some time causing Sirius's blood to boil.

"All right boys, I'll be back in a moment. Have to drop off some equipment invoices to the Headmaster," said Slughorn. "Severus, keep an eye on things for me."

As if Sirius couldn't be trusted and needed Snivellus as a child minder. This had to be the worst detention in the history of detentions, he thought to himself as he continued taking inventory. He was about halfway through when Severus pushed in front of him again.

"Do you mind?" Sirius snapped. "Unlike you, I'd actually like to get out of here today."

Severus sneered. "Oh, I'm ever so sorry. Am I in your way?

Sirius's eyes narrowed, and he said, "Watch yourself. Your mates aren't here to protect you."

"As if I'd need protection from you."

Sirius laughed sharply as Severus momentarily flinched. "Keep it up and you will," Sirius warned. "I'm no longer afraid of being expelled."

"Making progress boys?" asked Slughorn as he reappeared.

"Yes, sir," said Severus.

Sirius didn't respond. He picked up his pace, and since Severus decided not to get in his way again, Sirius was able to finish the task slightly ahead of time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Annabelle was ripped from dreamland by Alice tapping her on the arm. "Annabelle, wake up."

She sat up straight in bed and stammered, "Is it time for class?"

"No, not yet. There's a first year at the door saying that Professor Flitwick would like to see you. About some assignment or something."

"Crikey, why?" Annabelle whimpered as she pushed her hair out of her face.

"Take your books since you don't know how long you'll be."

Alice decided to go with her, but when they exited through the portrait hole, Remus and Claire were sitting on the step talking. Annabelle wondered if they had walked in on something, but rapidly surmised that they had actually just been talking. There was no deer-in-headlights look, no forcing themselves to appear composed, and Annabelle felt like telling them to "get a broom cupboard" just to see them blush, but she knew the type of humour she'd picked up from her Quidditch teammates would go over like a lead balloon with those two.

Remus had been about to walk Claire to her class, and offered to go with Annabelle to see Flitwick on their way. Annabelle was finding this whole buddy system extremely annoying these days, but attempting to figure out Remus and Claire's relationship gave her something to focus on besides her own misery. And unlike Alice, she knew these two wouldn't bring up the topic of Sirius with her.

"I'm meant to escort her there," said the little Slytherin first-year who was waiting on the steps. "No one else."

"Does it really matter who escorts her there?" Remus asked the girl.

"Flitwick told ME to bring her to him," she retorted.

Annabelle had no desire to suffer fools. "Bugger. Off."

Remus had to stifle a laugh before saying, "I think she's telling you to run along now. We'll see that she gets to Flitwick."

They started down the stairs but noticed the little brat was still ahead of them, occasionally turning back to see if they were following.

"I guess she really wants to do her job," said Claire, and Remus and Annabelle nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for walking with me."

"It's no problem," said Remus. "We were headed that way anyway."

Finally the first-year darted off down a corridor and was gone.

"Bye-bye pest," Annabelle quipped.

When they arrived at the corridor where the Charms classroom was located, Annabelle said, "You don't have to come with me to see him."

"We'll wait here for you," Remus said, as he and Claire sat on a bench together in a little alcove.

Annabelle rounded the corner and walked down to the classroom. The door was closed. Annabelle knocked but there was no answer. She turned the knob slowly and peeked in. All the lights were out and Professor Flitwick was not there.

"Huh," said Annabelle to herself. "He must have stepped out."

Just then, she heard a cackling like a Bavarian Erkling, echoing from further down the hall by a different staircase than from which she'd come. She recognised it instantly as the laughter of Elsinore Collins, and instinctively looked in the direction of the grating noise.

"It's about time I got you into my arms," Elsinore's voice rang out, "and away from that filthy mudblood!"

Before she could turn away, a horrifying sight played out before her eyes. Elsinore staggered backwards to the landing of the stairs, pulling a grinning Sirius by the tie down after her. She promptly pushed him against a wall and they briefly kissed each other so hard that it almost looked like they were gnawing each other's mouths before she took him by the hand and pulled him off down the stairs behind her.

Annabelle couldn't breathe. She felt her skin prickle in shock and embarrassment as she tried to unsee it. Her head was throbbing and she was simultaneously injured and disgusted by what she'd seen, so much that she was speechless. Remus and Claire exchanged worried glances at each other when she reappeared in front of them, looking perplexed and shaken.

"That was fast," Remus said.

"He wasn't there," she said vacantly. "I'm going to class."

She felt the tears stinging her eyes as she jogged down the stairs, but class would be starting soon and she didn't want to be late.

"Annabelle, wait!" Remus called after her. "Are you okay?"

She barely heard him, for her own thoughts were blasting through her head, blocking everything else out around her. Leave it to a Sirius to fall straight into the arms of someone else after breaking up with his girlfriend. Of course, why was she surprised? Elsinore was obviously the reason he'd dumped her. All along, people had been telling her he'd been using her for one reason or another and she smugly chose to ignore it. Elsinore herself had warned Annabelle that she was just a means to an end - a way to rile his parents. Mary MacDonald had been right. His issues went beyond anything she was prepared to handle, but he'd certainly had her going for a while, making her think he was a caring, decent person.

As she was turning the corner that led to the corridor where Transfiguration was located, she ploughed right into Sirius who was coming from the other direction. She stumbled back onto the floor, dropping her books and parchment. Sirius instantly bent to help her up, but she wouldn't have it.

"Keep your hands off me," she snarled at him as she stood up on her own.

He faltered for a moment, then bent to help Remus and Claire pick up her things.

"Don't bother!" she snapped.

He was so incensed by her audacity to be angry at him after what she had done, that he threw the parchment back to the floor.

"Sirius," said Remus, "Just go."

"Yes, just go. Go to your pure-blood princess," Annabelle taunted, as she gathered the papers he'd dropped.

Sirius' eyes flashed with fury. "How dare you? After what you did?"

"Here we go again with what I did. Would you come off it already? I did nothing! But congratulations on your reunion with your first love. It was an honour to be taken for a ride by you."

"What in the bloody hell are you squawking about now?"

"Oh, that wasn't you and Elsinore eating each other's faces off a few moments ago? Now you can add 'made an arse out of Dumbledore's Darling' to the list of admirable things you have in common with your fiendish girlfriend. What? Didn't think I knew about that charming name, did ya?"

A small crowd had begun to form round the arguing pair, including some of their housemates who were on their way to class. Lily appeared with the others, her jaw dropping at the horrid way they were speaking to each other.

"Annabelle! Stop it!" she scolded, but the pair fought on.

"That's rich, Annabelle," retorted Sirius, "but not very creative. We all know it's you who likes snogging people in stairwells and then lying through your teeth about it. So honourable she is; Darien O'Neill's granddaughter. Tell me now, how would Granddad feel knowing you're a duplicitous fraud?"

"You are both going too far!" warned Lily. "Stop it, now!"

Annabelle glared at him, no longer seeing the boy she loved, but a proud, smirking tosser who didn't care whom he hurt.

"I saw you," she said. "And unlike you, I am not lying about it."

"Nice try, but I was detained in the Potions lab with Slughorn until a few minutes ago. Ask Snivellus."

His grey eyes pierced her with such intensity that her guard came crashing down, and she began to cry. "You said you loved me."

With that, Sirius' brow momentarily knitted and his eyes glistened with tears which he quickly blinked away.

"I did. You obviously didn't feel the same."

"I can't do this," Annabelle said. She tore off toward Gryffindor Tower, the crowd parting for her. She didn't care about class. She didn't care about anything at that moment except getting away from him.

"I'll go with her," said Lily to Alice. "Tell McGonagall we won't be in class."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Annabelle collapsed on her bed, shaking and bereaved. Why wouldn't this nightmare end, she asked the universe, but there was no reply. The wound was reopened when she saw him kissing her, and she didn't know how much more her already shattered heart could bear.

Lily kneeled beside her bed and rubbed her back, trying to provide comfort.

"Shh, Annabelle," she soothed. "It's going to be okay."

After a few minutes, Annabelle had exhausted herself from crying and just lay there, motionless.

"It's isn't your fault, Annie," Lily said. "He's not what we thought he was."

Annabelle sighed and nodded her head against her pillow as Lily wiped her wet cheeks with a handkerchief.

"I know you loved him, but you will love again, you'll see."

"I thought he loved me," croaked Annabelle. "I believed him."

"Maybe he did. But it doesn't matter because you deserve better. I can't believe he ran to Elsinore Collins of all people. He put on such a good show of despising her. He had us all fooled."

"I'm the biggest fool," said Annabelle in a barely audible voice.

"No, you are not a fool for loving someone. That is never foolish."

The lump in Annabelle's throat gave way again as fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Is there a potion to stop feelings?" she asked.

"I don't think so," said Lily.

"Maybe your old chum Severus could invent one. Tell him it's for you so he doesn't try to poison me with it."

Lily chuckled. "I don't think he'd do it for me either, even if it was possible, which it's not."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After Annabelle had run off, Sirius had turned back toward class. He had originally planned to go up to his room for his books, not thinking his detention would be longer than an hour, but after his encounter with Annabelle, he had no time. He was shaking from the unexpected meeting and his mind was racing as he stormed off to Transfiguration ahead of his friends. When he got there, he sat down in his seat and borrowed a piece of parchment and a quill from Peter, who had clearly missed the terrible scene. He rested an elbow on the desk, and with his head in his hand he gazed out the window, trying to keep his emotions in check. The pain from seeing Annabelle kiss Rowan had almost broken him, but now she was rubbing salt in his wounds by accusing him of doing the same thing? By making up stories to vindicate herself?

What awful things he had just said to her, though. How could he bring up her grandfather? She didn't deserve that, no matter what she'd done. It was all so absurd that he almost couldn't believe it was happening. Her tears were killing him inside and she was so resolute in her claim that she hadn't done it that he almost believed her. Yet, he saw her do it.

Professor McGonagall instantly sensed tension as the students arrived, overhearing bits of conversation here and there. From Sirius Black's countenance and his friends' unusually subdued nature she could conclude that the drama involved them somehow. Of course it did. But it wasn't until Alice Prewett approached her, telling her that Annabelle O'Neill had taken ill again and that Lily Evans was with her, that she started putting the pieces together. She kept class short, letting the students go fifteen minutes early. She told them to consider it her Christmas present to them, but to keep quiet in the halls until all classes were dismissed. Then she made her way up to Gryffindor Tower.

Johnny B. had been eager to check on Annabelle, but she was always hiding in her room. He followed the professor along with Alice while the rest of them went to the Great Hall to await lunch.

"Professor, do you think you could do something about the steps to the girls' dorm so I could see her?" Johnny B. asked Professor McGonagall.

"Why should I do that? If she wants to speak to you, she knows where to find you."

"I'm just worried about her. I'm worried about both of them."

McGonagall wasn't sure of the whole story yet, but his words only solidified her assumptions about what was taking place. It involved the both of them, the other undoubtedly being Sirius Black, which could mean one thing and one thing only.

"We'll see, Mr. Bemis. First, I would like to speak with her. You shall wait in the common room."

Alice led her up to their dorm room where Lily and Annabelle were both on their beds looking glum. Both girls stood up in surprise to see her there, as Professor McGonagall rarely ventured into the students' dorms.

"Might I have a word with Miss O'Neill alone?" McGonagall asked.

"Of course, Professor," said Lily.

Annabelle looked to her friends nervously as they slinked off to the common room. She braced herself for the admonition. She had skipped class again after being told not to.

"Sit down, Annabelle," she said, sensing the girl's trepidation. "I'm not here to reprimand you."

Annabelle sat back down on her bed as McGonagall looked out the window. She sighed at the midday darkness; it was snowing buckets outside and the wind was whipping it all about.

After a moment she turned to Annabelle. "You're heartbroken."

Professor McGonagall was perceptive, Annabelle thought, and nodded once in affirmation.

"And I think I can safely assume that Mr. Black is the culprit?"

She nodded again.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"He accused me of betraying him with another. Then he did that same thing of which he had accused me," she mumbled, a bit embarrassed.

"I see. And you say you didn't betray him?"

"I would never," she said flatly.

"How do you know he betrayed you in turn?"

"I saw him, Professor. I saw him… _kissing_ her."

"Does he deny this?"

"Yes, ma'am. He does."

"How very curious indeed."

Annabelle nodded and waited. She felt awkward telling her this, but at the same time, it felt good to tell it to someone who would believe her over Sirius.

McGonagall looked around and spied the music box, reached for it, then said to Annabelle, "May I?"

"Of course, Professor."

She looked at the front of it and said, "Chéadsearc," pronouncing the word that was painted on the box in a way that wouldn't have occurred to Annabelle.

"Sirius gave it to me. We don't know what that means," said Annabelle.

McGonagall opened it up and watched the fairy dance.

"This is quite lovely," she said. "And so you know, chéadsearc means 'first love' in Irish Gaelic."

Annabelle felt her lower lip begin to tremble. McGonagall closed the music box and put it back on the night table.

"Listen dear," she said. "I know there is nothing I can say to make the hurt go away. And I can't pretend to know the intricacies of your relationship with Mr. Black. Sadly, life doesn't play by our rules most of the time, but there is always a silver lining."

"I don't see it," Annabelle said.

"No, but you will. I have taught for many years and I can tell you that there are only two things that could come of this, and two things only. Either you and Mr. Black will work out your issues and be back in each other's good graces by New Year's, or you will grieve and move on. In the end, to quote Alfred Lord Tennyson, the famous Muggle poet, 'Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering 'it will be happier'..."

Annabelle didn't think she'd ever be happy again.

"The point being, that you will survive, and you will eventually feel like yourself again."

"I hope so."

"I speak from experience, Annabelle. It is a rite of passage. The only way to avoid it is to never love anyone. And then you are miserable in another way."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Think nothing of it, dear. All in a day's work. Now, I have a very concerned Mr. Bemis waiting patiently in the common room for me to remove the charm on the stairs so he might pay you a visit. Since you are determined to be a recluse in your room all day, I have agreed to it just this once. Are you comfortable with that?"

Annabelle grinned and nodded.

"The charm will be removed for thirty minutes, after which it will automatically be back in place. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Please, come see me if you need anything. Anything at all."

"I will, Professor. Thank you."

A moment later after she'd gone, Annabelle heard Johnny B.'s voice carrying up the stairs.

"I'm coming for you, Annabelle. No more hiding!"

Of course, Johnny B. would be the one to make her laugh at a time like this. He came bounding into the room followed by Lily and Alice, and pulled Annabelle into his arms for a giant bear hug. She immediately choked up again, not able to fight the flood of despair as it rushed over her.

"That's it, let it out," Johnny B. said in a calming voice as he squeezed her tightly.

"I miss him so much," she cried into Johnny B.'s shirt.

"I know you do," Johnny B. said. "I know."

 


	35. Discovery

Once Annabelle had sufficiently wet Johnny B.'s shirt with her tears, and he'd dried it with the hot air charm, they all sat down on Annabelle and Lily's beds for a chat.

"Annie, have you been avoiding me?" he asked as he gave her hair a tug.

"No, well sort of. I just haven't felt like talking much, and I knew you'd make me."

"Who the hell lives in that putrid corner of the room?" Johnny B. asked as he eyed an unmade bed with stuff scattered all over it, and on the floors and night table as well. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

The girls snickered as Alice answered, "Dominica. It's not usually quite that bad, but she only comes here to sleep now. She just throws her stuff everywhere and never cleans it up, even though all it would take to fix it would be a few flicks of a wand. Lazy cow."

"I bet Lorelei loves that," he said with an impish smile.

"She threatens to burn all of her stuff on a daily basis," said Lily. "I am starting to wish she would."

"Me too," agreed Annabelle.

"Now, now, kittens. Retract the claws for a moment," he teased. "Merlin! The others are going to go crazy when they find out they missed their chance to come up here."

"It's not that special," said Alice.

"It's forbidden," said Johnny B. "That makes it special. So, what the hell is going on around here? I'm so confused."

"That makes two us," said Annabelle.

"That makes all of us," added Lily.

"You say you didn't do it, he says he saw you do it," Johnny B. said. "And before you say he's lying… I just don't think he's like that, Annabelle."

Annabelle felt her indignation rising. "So I am like that?"

"No," Johnny B. said. "You aren't. That is why this whole thing is so bizarre. I mean, could you have been sleep walking or something?"

"In the middle of the day? Really?"

"Right, it was the middle of the day," he replied.

"And there is no way he was sleep walking today. Not the way they were kissing, if you could even call it kissing. It was more like chewing-"

"Please, don't describe it any further," Alice interjected with a shudder. "She is so wretched."

"But she's beautiful, and a Pureblood," Annabelle said.

"She is monstrous," countered Lily. "Do you think Sirius is that shallow?"

"I didn't think so," she replied. "But now that I saw it with my own eyes, I am starting to think otherwise."

"He is not," admonished Johnny B. "He has never once in all the years I've known him expressed any interest in her, even when she was forcing him to be her pretend boyfriend during second year."

"Well, he certainly was interested in her today. In her tonsils, to be specific," Annabelle said.

"Revolting," replied Alice.

"Maybe he was just trying to pay you back for what you did- I mean what he thought you did with Rowan," Johnny B. suggested. "I think you should talk to him."

"Why? So they can put on another show for the whole school?" asked Alice. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Me either," said Lily, who was still having flashbacks to the one she had just witnessed.

"I just want to lock the two of you in a broom closet until you work it out." Johnny B. said. "One of you has to be a really talented liar."

Annabelle frowned. "You doubt my integrity?"

"Aww, Annie," he said. "You are both so difficult to doubt. But even if you are lying, I'll still love you. I'll just think you're crazy as a Runespoor."

Annabelle laughed, despite being bothered by the idea that nobody knew if they could believe her or not.

Johnny B. picked up the music box.

"What in Merlin's beard does Chéadsearc mean?" he asked. Annabelle smiled because it sounded so funny when he said it.

"You're saying it wrong. It's pronounced khaydshark," she corrected him, imitating the way Professor McGonagall had pronounced it. "It means first love."

Lily frowned, and said, "That's sweet. And he gave it to you. Your first love."

Alice and Johnny B. nodded wistfully in agreement.

"It's meaningless, now," Annabelle muttered.

"No, it's not," said Lily. "I just can't believe it's over with you two. There is something so unnatural about it all, don't you think?"

"Maybe," said Annabelle. "But then again, maybe we never really know people. Maybe he was just using me to upset his parents."

"I told you, he's not like that," said Johnny B. "But if it is over, you just have to get back on the horse. And that starts with coming out of your room. Now let's go to lunch before you die of malnourishment." He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her off the bed. "Good, you've got your shoes on, someone toss her a hairbrush."

Lily took Annabelle's brush from her night stand and tossed it to her and she began taming her bed head.

"Johnny B., it just happened yesterday. Isn't it a bit soon to 'get back on the horse?'" she questioned.

"Maybe," he replied, "but you can still make an appearance at lunch. Let the world know he didn't break you. You're looking a bit pale. Pinch your cheeks."

"Why should the world notice if I'm at lunch or not?" she asked as she followed Johnny B.'s directive.

"Annabelle, if Hogwarts had a newspaper, you two would be front page news. All right, that's better," he said. "To lunch we go. Hold your head high like the Quidditch goddess you are."

Annabelle smiled, but the last thing she felt like was a Quidditch goddess. She felt like the joke of the school. Or like Sirius Black's token Mudblood. Her anxiety returned as she made her way down to the Great Hall with her friends. Before they reached their destination, though, Rowan Summerby appeared, walking toward them. Annabelle's heart lurched with dread.

"Hello, Annabelle," he said, "I was just looking for you."

Johnny B., Lily, and Alice didn't hide their suspicion very well, glancing at each other and at Annabelle rather disapprovingly.

"Um, why?" Annabelle asked.

"Can I talk to you in private?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "Absolutely not."

"Just for a moment. It's personal," he said, glimpsing her friends uncomfortably.

"I don't even know you. What could you possibly have to tell me that's personal?"

"Okay, I see what you're doing. Still pretending."

"Pretending what?" she asked, genuinely floored that he was speaking to her that way.

"It doesn't matter," he said. "I just wanted to let you know that I am back with Darcy now. So…uh… please don't come looking for me outside my common room anymore and no more dates in the dungeon."

Annabelle looked at him like he was crazy, and gave an exasperated chuckle.

"Did someone put you up to this?" she demanded. "I have never looked for you outside your common room, nor have I ever met you in a dungeon. Why would I do that? I had a boyfriend until you started popping up everywhere." She couldn't bear to look at her friends, because even she knew that this made her look very guilty indeed.

"Wow, you are beyond barmy, aren't you?" he asked derisively. "Honestly, it might have worked out, except that when you kissed me the other day, I didn't appreciate you biting my tongue. You drew blood, you loon. I think it's infected now."

Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Annabelle was shaking with indignation when she said, "If you don't turn and walk away from me right now, I cannot be held responsible for how lethally I curse you."

He shook his head condescendingly and muttered, "Wacko." He did what she ordered though, and walked away.

"What was that?" Johnny B. asked, looking stung by Rowan's accusations.

"I swear to Godric Gryffindor I don't have a clue," Annabelle said.

They shifted uncomfortably, like they wanted to believe her, but weren't sure they could.

"I truly don't know what he's talking about! Give me Veritaserum! You'll see for yourselves," she exclaimed. "Lily, you can make some, I know you can."

"If she's willing to take Veritaserum, then I believe she's telling the truth," said Lily. "Not that I thought you were lying anyway…."

"Something just isn't right," said Alice as they continued into the Great Hall for lunch.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The boys were sitting away from the girls again, because nobody wanted Sirius and Annabelle near each other. They couldn't handle another nasty public dispute. And after Annabelle came back at him with the same accusation only a day later, it appeared things were not going to resolve themselves. James was trying to put the puzzle pieces together.

"I could have believed it if it were just the Summerby thing, but now she thinks she saw you snogging that harpy," he said.

"Maybe she made it up to punish him for dumping her flat," suggested Peter.

Sirius cringed at Peter's choice of words, but said nothing. He really had dumped her flat, as if she wouldn't have done the same.

"She didn't sound like she was lying," said Caradoc. "She sounded like she wanted to skin him alive."

James shook his head in bewilderment. "You see her. She says it wasn't her. She sees you. You say it wasn't you," he mused. "Two words. Dark Magic. Or something like it."

Sirius had been slouched over his untouched lunch, hanging his head in anguish, but suddenly perked up at James' words.

"Nah," Peter said. "Girls are cheats. You can't blame everything on magic."

"What are some spells that can make you see someone that isn't there?" asked Caradoc, ignoring Peter.

"Or plants! What about plants that if you consume the leaves they cause hallucinations?" offered Fairfax.

"Wouldn't he have known if he ate a leaf?" asked Peter.

"Not if it was ground up, like in a potion, and slipped to him somehow," replied James. "Where the hell is Remus when we need him?"

Peter shook his head and said, "You are wasting your time. She's a cheat. I'm telling you."

"Put a cork in it, would you?" James scolded him. "All girls are not cheats just because Emily decided to go out with someone else, even though she was never your girlfriend to begin with. Move on, already."

Sirius was good at Potions. No, he was excellent at them. This couldn't be that difficult to figure out. He was about to lose hope of an explanation when it started to come to him, like a little itch in his brain.

"I don't think Slughorn taught it in class yet," he said, "But I know I've heard of a potion that can change people into something else. Or someone else, I mean. Though I don't know if those dimwits would know about it."

"Slytherins are known to be cunning," said Peter. "Of course they'd know about it. Besides, they have Snivellus helping them, I'm sure."

With the mention of Snape, Sirius and James looked at each other with wide eyes, and began calling out any potion they could think of that might come close to what Sirius was thinking of. Nothing rang a bell.

"What is it? A potion that can make a person look like another person…" Sirius sputtered. "J… It starts with a J… No, a P… Definitely a P…P…Pol…"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Further down the table, Johnny B. decided to sit with the girls, in an effort to help them figure out what could have possessed Rowan to think Annabelle was biting his tongue and stalking him. The answer seemed just out of reach for all of them though. If only they could remove their emotions from the situation, but the swirling cloud of betrayal and hurt lingered in all of their minds.

"Maybe he wanted to break you and Sirius apart, so he lied. Maybe he had a girl that looked like you kiss him so Sirius would see," suggested Johnny B.

It sounded possible, except that Sirius claimed it was definitely Annabelle, not just a look-alike, and it still didn't explain why Rowan would tell Annabelle to stay away from him. Wouldn't he just tell the girl he was kissing?

"Maybe he was cursed," said Alice. "Could they be skilled enough to cast the Imperius Curse?"

"He said Severus could vouch for him that he was in the Potions Lab, so that can't be it," said Lily, "Plus, they'd end up in Azkaban if they got caught. Too risky."

"I feel like cursing him right now," said Annabelle, remembering what she'd seen and how he'd spoken to her.

"Come on, Lily," said Alice. "You know Potions better than any of us. Think!"

Lily was becoming distressed as she tried to come up with the answer. She knew there was something she was overlooking, something she had learned about in her meetings with the Slug Club. Bloody hell, what was it?

"A potion that can deceive," she was thinking out loud, "A potion that can alter appearances…puh…pol…poly..."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Just over an hour earlier…

Claire Shaw had stood there with Remus watching Annabelle and Sirius hurl insults at each other in the hallway. It was devastating to witness; two normally dignified people who had appeared to have so much respect for each other spiralling downward into a battle of who could hurt whom more. Both adamantly denied any wrongdoing, yet both claimed they witnessed the wrongdoings. They saw each other, but they didn't. If lying wasn't involved, and it didn't appear to be, then there had to be an explanation.

She had divined from her time spent with Remus and his friends that they had a grudge with some Slytherin students. She had also heard the girls mention that Elsinore Collins was deranged, which was common knowledge actually, but she had seen her attempting to speak to Sirius and he wanted no part of it. She pulled Remus aside as Annabelle fled up the stairs away from Sirius.

"Remus, do you think Elsinore Collins has something to do with this," she said. "I mean besides allegedly kissing Sirius only moments ago? Like maybe she set the whole thing up somehow?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," he replied. "This is too bizarre for it to just be one of them being dishonest. You can tell they are both being driven senseless over it."

"What kind of spell or potion could make you think you were seeing someone even though you weren't?"

Remus thought about it. "Hmm, there has to be something."

"A spell or potion that could make a person appear as someone else," Claire thought aloud.

They walked a few steps in silence, racking their brains. Suddenly they stopped and turned to each other, eyes wide as saucers.

"POLYJUICE POTION!" they blurted out at the same time.

"It has to be," said Remus. "It's the only explanation. But how to prove it? That is the real dilemma."

"It takes a while to wear off, depending on how much was taken, so someone is probably running around the castle as we speak who looks exactly like Sirius," Claire said. "I wish we had an invisibility cloak. We could catch him if we were invisible."

"I know where we can get one," he replied.

After retrieving James' invisibility cloak, Remus checked the Marauder's Map for the usual suspects. They were in deepest part of the dungeons in a storage room and they weren't alone. There was no time to alert the others; besides, the less people involved, the more likely they could steal into the dungeons unnoticed. He stuffed the map into his robes just in case he'd need it again, but hoped he wouldn't. He didn't think his friends would appreciate Claire, someone they barely knew, having knowledge of it.

"I have an idea of where they might be," Remus said as he reappeared with the cloak. "Past the Slytherin common room, there is flight of stairs that leads to the lowest dungeons. We'll have to take the long way around so we have to hurry. Thankfully classes are in session and then everyone will be going to lunch, so we shouldn't have a problem going undetected. You don't mind missing class?"

"Not one bit," Claire said with a grin. "This will be well worth it if we catch them."

They ventured down into the dungeons, throwing the cloak over themselves once they were out of sight. They walked slowly, scarcely breathing, listening for any sound that might indicate danger. As they approached the staircase that led to the place they were looking for, they thought they heard laughing. Following the sound, they were led down the staircase, directly to the storage room where Remus had seen their names on the Map.

They couldn't open the door without their presence being made known, but they could listen. Remus pressed his ear against it as Claire bent down, lifted the cloak from her face, and peeked through the keyhole. The guilty party was sitting in a circle on the floor.

"She's so clueless, really," Dominica snickered. "This is too easy. But it is unsettling looking at you both right now. I mean, you look exactly like them."

"Elsinore, you're a genius, aren't you?" Septima asked.

"I hate to admit it, but I think I am. Like a mad scientist of sorts," Elsinore replied. "Except, I really owe Severus for brewing the potion for me. He's the real intellect in all of this! Naïve as he is."

"When can I play Black again? I rather enjoyed that kiss," Malachi's voice drawled. "Figures Mr. High-and-Mighty's potion doesn't taste half bad, even if it is bloody painful turning into him. The little shit."

"You'll have to wait," Elsinore snapped. "I have to find that moron Rowan and lure him to where I need him to be. I hope Tabitha gets back soon or I will have to drink more of it."

"You said it tasted good," said Septima.

"That's not the problem," Elsinore sneered. "I just don't want to waste it. It took a bloody month to make."

Claire stood up and whispered to Remus, "Should I go tell Dumbledore?"

Remus whispered to Claire, "No. They might be gone before you return. We will have to charm them, because how else can we make them comply? They will just run if we call them out on it."

Footsteps were coming down the stairs and Claire and Remus, still covered with the cloak, slowly stepped away from the door as the little Slytherin girl that had tried to escort Annabelle to the Charms classroom appeared. At the door, she muttered something under her breath that must of have been a password, because they could hear the door unlock. She opened it and went inside, leaving the door slightly ajar, and Claire and Remus assumed their previous positions.

The little girl cleared her throat in order to get Elsinore's attention.

"There you are, Tabitha. What's the report?"

"If you're going to fool Black one more time, I suggest you do it soon. He's gone to class, but I can tell him a teacher wants to see him. O'Neill's hiding out in Gryffindork Tower as we speak. They had a massive row in the corridor."

"Sounds like I have some work to attend to," Elsinore trilled. "His parents will be over the moon! They already know he's not seeing the Mudblood anymore; now to just drive a final nail in the coffin of their repulsive relationship."

Claire stood up, alarmed that they had no time to plan, and looked at Remus.

"What do you think? Disarm them first, then petrify them?" he whispered.

She nodded and said, "I'll take Septima and Elsinore, you take the others. Stay high, and I'll stay low so our curses don't collide."

"I'll be back," Elsinore clucked as Claire watched her getting up from the floor. "Come along, Tabby."

"Don't call me Tabby."

Claire looked at Remus and whispered, "Now."

They dropped the cloak as Remus slammed the door open, effectively disarming them and casting Petrificus Totalus on the lot of them. Little Tabitha's wand had bounced off a wall and landed at her feet, but as she bent for it, she was hit, and immediately stiffened. Remus and Claire had been so quick, and the group of Slytherins so completely unaware of what was about to happen, that it had been simple. Tabitha and Malachi had been the only ones holding their wands, which demonstrated how unprepared they were for unwanted visitors. Claire looked at Remus proudly and laughed in relief.

"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be," he said, grinning at their handiwork. Claire instantly summoned their wands to her which she pocketed inside her robe.

"I think we should bring them upstairs for everyone to see," she said, a vengeful glint in her eye, relishing the fact that they could still hear her. "Dumbledore will be so pleased that they have been using magic for such ethical purposes."

"Good thinking," Remus replied. "I know several others who would love to see this as well. Let's bind Tabitha, Dominica and Malachi together as one. I'll transport them. You take the other two."

Remus uttered, "Incarcerous" causing cords to shoot from his wand and bind the three girls together. He did the same for Malachi and Septima. Claire grabbed the potion vials off the floor and pocketed them as well.

Finally, they manoeuvred the crew of deviants out of the bathroom using Mobilicorpus. The group of three almost got stuck in doorway, but Claire grabbed one of the cords and yanked them through. It took a lot of concentration and more time than they liked to move them up through the castle since there were so many of them and they had to take a long circuitous route away from Slytherin Dungeon to avoid meeting up with any unsavory characters. But they managed not to be seen until they reached the ground floor and the Slytherins' fates were sealed.

Students who were going to lunch began to gather as soon as the creepy fivesome drifted into the grand entrance. Remus and Claire lowered them to the floor.

"I'll stay here with them," Remus said. "You go get the others."

Claire grinned and went into the Great Hall.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"POLYJUICE POTION!"

Lily and Sirius had shouted it out at the same moment, and they abruptly made eye contact, hope written all over their faces. She moved to get up to confer with him, but was stopped by Claire Shaw who had appeared behind her. Annabelle jumped when she felt her hand touch her shoulder.

"Sorry to alarm you, Annabelle," Claire said, "But I think there is something you are going to want to see in the entrance hall. Remus is out there right now. Go look!"

She then skipped over to the boys, and James asked, "Where's Remus?"

She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. "He's right outside! Go look! Quickly!" Then she skittered off to the head table to alert the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress.

They scanned each others' faces with apprehension as they got up from the table. On their way, they noticed several students by the doors pointing and laughing at something. Other students appeared to be catching wind of something as well as they tore from their seats out the door. A crowd was beginning to form. The boys caught up to the girls and Johnny B., and they pushed through the throng of laughing, jeering students jamming the doorway.


	36. Crystal Clear

As they made their way into the grand entrance, Annabelle gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth when she saw what everyone was gawking at. She looked to her friends, registering their shocked expressions and she began to shake. Sirius's eyes flashed with a mix of horror and fury. Neither could speak, they were so traumatised by the statuesque replicas of themselves positioned before them.

Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall made their way through the crowd and stopped in their tracks when they saw the students. Claire manoeuvred around them and took her place next to Remus.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dumbledore demanded as he looked back from the clones to the real Annabelle and Sirius, then to Remus and Claire.

"We found them in the dungeons, sir," offered Remus. "They drank Polyjuice Potion in order to deceive Sirius and Annabelle. We heard them discussing it just moments ago."

"Here it is, sir," said Claire, as she pulled two vials of liquid out of her pocket, one a dusty lavender colour and the other a light steel blue, and handed them to Dumbledore. She also gave him their wands."We know the whole story." Meanwhile, Rowan Summerby had made his way to the scene, a look of utter confusion written on his face.

"Whatever for?" Dumbledore asked, still taken aback by the situation that he could not believe had slipped his beneath his radar.

"I think I know the answer to that," clipped McGonagall, "But, I prefer to let them speak for themselves."

With a flick of her wand, the cords that were binding them together disappeared. With another flick, the Petrificus Totalus charm was lifted. After staggering a bit to find their footing, Dominica and Septima stepped away from Elsinore and Malachi, but it was Tabitha, the first-year Slytherin that spoke first.

"They made me do it, ma'am!" she exclaimed. "I swear it. I didn't want nothin' to do with it!"

"What did you do, exactly?" Dumbledore asked.

She pointed at Annabelle and Sirius and said, "I had to see to it that those two were where they wanted 'em so they could trick 'em!"

Annabelle felt sick to her stomach. Unbelievably, Elsinore must have been planning to trick Sirius again, since she had become Annabelle a second time. Or had it been more? Rowan had said she'd been frequenting his common room… Humiliation and rage collided within her, kicking up a tempest of emotions.

Just then, the potion began to wear off on the Sirius double. The strange, gruesome transformation back into Malachi took under a minute. He was sneering proudly, most likely in an attempt to save face in light of being caught in front of the whole school. Several other faculty members were also present, including Hagrid. He shook his head in disappointment at the scene.

"Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore barked. "This is an outrage!"

"The other one is Elsinore, sir," Tabitha eagerly told him. "Elsinore Collins."

"Shut up, you little prat," Elsinore-as-Annabelle hissed.

"It's quite a complex potion," Professor McGonagall said. "Where did you get the ingredients, specifically the necessary hair?"

Neither of them answered.

"You will answer!" ordered McGonagall.

"From their heads!" shouted Elsinore.

Sirius suddenly remembered Elsinore yanking his hair during the duel in the staircase well over a month before. Annabelle put her hand to the spot where she had done the same to her.

"They attacked us a while back," Annabelle said. "She pulled my hair."

"And yours as well?" McGonagall asked Sirius.

He nodded slowly in affirmation. His jaw was set and his arms were crossed, and it was evident to anyone who knew him that he was fighting the urge to blast them both through the ceiling.

Now it was Elsinore's turn to transform back into herself. Once the process was complete, Annabelle and the lunatic stared right into each others' eyes. Elsinore darted her eyes away first.

"It was you?" a horrified Rowan asked her. "All along?"

Elsinore grinned smugly. He looked to Annabelle.

"I told you it wasn't me," she mouthed to him. She felt a jolt of vindication, even though she felt sympathetic to Rowan. Elsinore must have been working her way up to getting him to kiss her by leading him on for a while, disguised as Annabelle. It explained his sudden interest in her anyway.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Rowan replied. He turned and headed toward the boys' loo.

"Everyone connected to this incident is to report to my office immediately!" Dumbledore bellowed as he stormed up the grand staircase.

Professor McGonagall added shrilly, "Everyone else, back to your tables this instant! Professors, please help clear the area!"

She ushered the students involved toward the stairs, bringing up the back in order to make sure Dominica and Septima didn't attempt to scurry off, even though they'd be stupid to because everyone could see they were in this mess up to their eyeballs.

Annabelle followed directly behind Dumbledore. She was embarrassed and infuriated that she'd been violated without knowing it. It should have been obvious that Elsinore and Malachi were the agents responsible for carrying out the "damage control" that Mary McDonald had warned her about. They were already gathering information on Sirius and reporting to his parents, but now it appeared they were also expected to break them up.

Dumbledore asked to see Remus and Claire first. Professor McGonagall waited in the hall with Annabelle, Sirius, and the scheming Slytherins. Sirius sat down against the wall several feet away from the rest of them. He, like Annabelle, was dealing with a slew of conflicting emotions, and was afraid that if he didn't put some distance between himself and the perpetrators, he would lose control. They were unarmed, which would make it even easier to hex his vengeance all over them.

He thought about how this was affecting Annabelle. She was right there, standing next to Professor McGonagall, yet she felt a million miles away. What had he done to her? How could he ever make things okay again? She wouldn't be involved in this horror show if not for her association with him, and then he publicly condemned her on top of it. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again.

After some time, Remus and Claire exited Dumbledore's office and he called upon Septima Scroggie. Remus went to join Sirius, while Claire, who was still shy around Remus' friends, stood a few feet away from Annabelle against the wall.

As McGonagall ushered Septima into the office, Annabelle glanced at Elsinore who glared back at her, the corners of her mouth turned up in a devilish grin. It incited Annabelle's fury so much so that she felt like reaching out and physically causing her pain. The only thing that stopped her was Professor McGonagall turning back to face them.

A few moments later, the door opened again and out rushed a crying Septima. She sent Annabelle a pleading, piteous look, maybe it was regret; Annabelle couldn't tell, but she no longer cared. Whatever her part in it, Annabelle would not forgive her and averted her eyes from the pathetic girl. Septima ran off down the hall and down the stairs.

Next was Dominica. This time Elsinore hissed and leered at Annabelle while Malachi snickered. Claire saw what they were trying to do and moved closer to Annabelle.

"Just ignore them," she whispered to her. "They can't hurt you now."

Annabelle didn't say anything. Claire was mistaken if she thought she was afraid of them hurting her. She was more afraid that she might hurt them.

Remus made his way back over and asked Annabelle, "Are you okay?"

Annabelle muttered, "No," before looking away.

Dominica didn't look quite as sorry when she exited, but she did seem cowed and uncomfortable, and she hurried off, avoiding Elsinore and Malachi completely.

McGonagall held the door open and Dumbledore called for Tabitha. Again, when she turned her back on them, Elsinore tried to instigate with Annabelle. Remus noticed as well when Elsinore made an exaggerated frown and mouthed, "Don't cry, Mudblood," to Annabelle.

It was the spark that lit the powder keg and Annabelle sprang at her, landing a fast hard slap across her face, which sent her staggering sideways into the wall. Professor McGonagall turned around, stepping between them as Remus and Claire pulled her back, and Sirius got up.

"Don't touch her, filth!" Malachi shouted threateningly.

"Who are you calling filth?" Sirius growled as he charged Malachi, ramming into him and sending him onto the floor. He landed one good punch across his face before Remus yanked him off him and forced him back, away from Malachi.

McGonagall drew her wand and warned, "One more outburst from any of you, and I will stop you myself!"

Elsinore squealed, "That little hag just slapped me!"

"You deserved it and so much more," Annabelle fumed. McGonagall admonished her to control herself.

When Tabitha came out, she shot an accusatory look at Elsinore and skipped off down the stairs, presumably to the dungeons. Dumbledore called for Elsinore and Malachi next.

"Why do I have to go in there? I didn't make the potion," she complained as she planted her feet like a child about to have a tantrum.

"It is not up for discussion. Go inside this instant!" McGonagall hollered. She opened the door and followed them inside, turning to Annabelle and Sirius briefly before closing the door behind her.

"You will wait here to be called," she ordered, as she joined Dumbledore in the questioning of the offenders.

Now it was just the four of them, and an awkward silence hanging in the air. The feeling of disgrace was so powerful that both Sirius and Annabelle couldn't look at each other.

Remus decided to break the ice and said, "Claire had the idea to track them down. We heard everything. It was a set-up from the start."

Annabelle glanced at him and said, "Thank you. For finding them."

"Yeah, thanks," said Sirius. "That was brave of you to take them on alone."

"Dumbledore was terribly upset," Claire said. "He isn't going to take what they did lightly."

After about twenty minutes of Claire and Remus conversing in whispers while Sirius and Annabelle brooded apart from each other in silence, the door opened and Professor McGonagall led Elsinore and Malachi out.

"Miss O'Neill and Mr. Black, he will see you now," she said, as she held the door for them. "Mr. Lupin and Miss Shaw, you don't have to stay, but you may wait here if you'd like." Sirius grabbed the door, and held it open for Annabelle, who slipped inside the headmaster's office. McGonagall then ushered the two Slytherins away.

"We'll wait for you," Remus said to his distraught friends.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk and motioned with his hand to two chairs in front of him.

"Have a seat, please. Would either of you like a lemon drop?" he asked as he lifted a small bowl of sweets from his desk.

Both students politely passed on the lemon drops.

"All right then, let's get to the reason I wanted to speak to you," he began. "After interviewing the students involved, it was easy to conclude that you were both terribly taken advantage of and the culprits' depravity has not gone unpunished."

No shit, Sirius thought to himself.

"Apparently they had some help brewing the potion, but claim the person responsible was under the impression that it was for an extra credit assignment for which the potion maker would also receive credit."

Sirius couldn't stop his eyes from rolling.

"Mr. Black, do you have something you'd like to share?" Dumbledore asked.

Sirius leveled with him. "All due respect, sir, but Severus Snape couldn't possibly be that daft."

Dumbledore sighed and said, "I have yet to speak with him, but if I find that he was aware of the use for which the potion was intended, he will be disciplined accordingly. I do want to remind you that it is not your responsibility to dole out punishments. You've come a long way in your relations with him and I'd hate to see you go backwards. Are we clear?"

Sirius could read between the lines. Stay away from Snivellus. He would never understand what Dumbledore saw in him, but he always seemed to have a weak spot for him. Sirius had the impulse to tell him that Snape had better sleep with one eye open from now on, but he bit his tongue. He knew Dumbledore could have punished him much more harshly the previous school year after almost getting Snape killed in the passage to the Shrieking Shack. He hadn't though, not just for his sake, but for Remus' sake as well. If Sirius had been disciplined, his parents would want to know why, and Remus' cover might have been blown. Maybe Dumbledore was glad Snivellus got a bit of revenge. How unfair that Annabelle had to be caught up in it.

"Crystal clear, sir," he replied.

"Good," said Dumbledore. "I also want to let you know that Mr. Malfoy and Miss Collins will no longer be attending Hogwarts, effective immediately. Rest assured, this was not their first offence, but I do have a discipline code I must adhere to, and considering the level of the infraction, expulsion is the next and final step."

Annabelle was impressed that he had cracked down on them. She was glad to know she wouldn't have to see Elsinore's fiendish countenance glaring at her again. Sirius was still subdued, despite the news.

"Mr. Black," Dumbledore said as if reading his thoughts, "There is no reason for me to contact your parents, but if anything arises… at home because of this, I want to know about it."

Sirius nodded and looked toward the window.

"May I ask a question, sir," Annabelle ventured to the kindly but commanding old wizard.

"Of course you may," he replied. "You may both ask me anything you'd like."

"Did they say why they did it?"

"I can answer that," Sirius offered. "They did it because my parents recruited them to do something about the Mud…" Sirius cut himself off. He bit his lower lip and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

"The Mudblood," Annabelle finished for him. She knew it wasn't his word; he was only giving her the reason that Elsinore and Malachi would give if they were honest. "They did it to help your parents remove me from the picture."

"Truthfully," Dumbledore replied, "They didn't say much at all in their own defence. They couldn't deny masterminding the plan and executing it. They didn't deny that they had attacked you for your hair samples. And they did confirm an animosity shared among all of them that led them to target you. They didn't say anymore though, except for Septima Scroggie, whose part was small and who genuinely seemed remorseful. She gave me the impression that she'd been bullied into it."

"By Dominica, no doubt," said Annabelle.

"Yes, indeed. Jealousy can transform us into the worst versions of ourselves."

"Will they be punished, sir?" Annabelle asked, not wanting to hear excuses for Dominica or Septima.

"They will both be suspended until the end of January," he replied. "Little Tabitha Greengrass will only be doing two weeks of detention, I'm afraid, as I believed her when she told me she was coerced by her fellow Slytherins into complying."

Annabelle and Sirius remained silent. They had all the answers they were going to get from him, and after a moment, Dumbledore spoke again.

"I estimate that Mr. Lupin and Miss Shaw's discovery cleared up a lot of confusion and doubt for the two of you, and I hope that you will be in better spirits now, considering how everything has been resolved."

Annabelle understood him to mean that now things could go back to the way they were. Sirius and Annabelle could be the happy lovebirds again, no worse for the wear. But she wasn't so sure that was how it worked. This incident had hurt them, and caused them to hurt each other. There would be scars from that. Besides, how was she expected to run back into his arms when his parents seemed ready to throttle him for breathing the same air as her? She was more confused than ever, if that was even possible, but the answers could only be found by talking to Sirius.

Dumbledore sensed their hesitation. "You mustn't let others determine where your journey together begins and ends. That is only for the two of you to decide, even if it means beginning the journey again from a new vantage point."

Annabelle nodded to show she was paying attention, and Sirius continued to gaze out the window, looking miserable.

"Alright, then, Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill," he said as he stood up, "If there are no more questions, then I must attend to some business with a Mr. Summerby and Mr. Snape. Here are some passes to present to your teachers."

"Thank you, sir," said Annabelle.

"Thank you," said Sirius.

"You're welcome," Dumbledore replied. "And if you'd like to discuss the matter again, you may knock any time."

He came around his desk and walked them to the door, holding it open for them. Sirius allowed Annabelle to leave first. As Sirius was exiting, he glanced at Dumbledore once more who gave him an encouraging wink, then closed the door behind them.

Remus and Claire were still outside the office, most likely to make sure everything was fine between the two of them before leaving them alone together. Or maybe it was so Remus could stop Sirius in case he decided to track Snape down instead of going to class. It was hard to say, but as much as Annabelle appreciated their efforts and owed them a debt of gratitude for putting a quick end to the deceit, she couldn't talk to Sirius with them there, and no real amends could be made until they sorted it all out. Remus and Claire meant well, but there would be no discussion with them around.

On the other hand, maybe it was best that they were there. It would give them time to think; to figure out where they wanted to go from there. Nothing puts a damper on a relationship like a vicious witch and wizard working for your boyfriend's parents, running around the castle and biting people's tongues, all while disguised as you.

Annabelle parted with them at her Divination classroom, then Remus and Sirius walked Claire to her class before heading to Ancient Runes. Along with students from other houses, Annabelle shared the class with a handful of Gryffindor sixth-years, Johnny B., Lily, and Dominica to name a few. Dominica was not there. Suspension and expulsion were usually effective immediately, and one was to wait in the dorms until parents could arrive to speak to the headmaster and escort the offending student home.

Annabelle handed the professor her pass and sat at her table with Lily and Johnny B. They instantly raised their eyebrows at her in anticipation, and Annabelle shrugged in response. She'd have to wait until the teacher was done speaking to fill them in.

Once they were examining their crystal balls, Johnny B. said, "So?"

"So, Elsinore and Malachi will be bothering us no more. They are being expelled," Annabelle informed them.

"Wow. Dumbledore must have been furious," said Lily. "Can't say I'm sorry to hear it."

"Dominica and Septima are suspended until the end of January. And that little oddball Tabitha got detention because they kind of threatened her into helping them. Allegedly, Severus did brew the potion, but Dumbledore has no proof yet that he knew what it was going to be used for. Elsinore claims she told him it was for extra credit."

"Dumbledore can't possibly believe that," said Johnny B.

"Apparently he does," said Annabelle. "In fact, he issued a warning to Sirius about not going after him for revenge."

Johnny B. chuckled and said, "As if a warning will stop him."

"Hopefully it will," said Annabelle. "He doesn't need any more trouble."

"So are you two okay?" Lily asked. "With each other?"

Annabelle shook her head glumly. "We didn't really get a chance to talk. Everything is so strange now between us. Where do we even begin?"

"You are joking right?" asked Johnny B. "You run straight into his arms, Annabelle. That's where you start."

"It isn't that simple," replied Annabelle.

"You have to talk to him, Annie," said Lily. "You can't just leave things like this. Neither of you did anything wrong. You can't let them win."

"I kind of think it's better if we are apart, at least for now," said Annabelle. "His parents might go easier on him if they think it's over between us."

"Maybe you should let him decide how to deal with his parents," replied Lily.

Annabelle sighed and looked into her foggy crystal ball. She saw nothing.

"Oh, I see something in mine!" Johnny B. exclaimed. "It's you and Sirius, and you are snogging the bejeezus out of each other! See Annabelle? It's going to be all right. The crystal ball doesn't lie."

Annabelle smiled, even though Johnny B. never saw anything in his crystal ball. She appreciated what he was trying to do though.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At dinner, everyone sat together in their usual spots. Remus recounted in detail what he and Claire had overheard, none of it surprising but galling nonetheless. Sirius and Annabelle avoided speaking to each other in depth, even though they gladly relayed the story and took questions from their friends. They weren't angry with each other; instead they were at an utter loss as to how to recover. They were still mortified by what had been done to them, still hurt and ashamed over the callousness with which they had spoken to each other, and they both just wanted to vanish for a while until all the talk of what happened died down.

Of course, just because Elsinore and Malachi had been thwarted, didn't mean multiple monstrous heads wouldn't grow back in their places. Sirius dating a non-Pureblood was clearly not allowed, and someone else would be all too eager to step in and do his parents' bidding. Knowledge of this caused Annabelle to be incensed for his sake. She didn't know what it was like to have obsessive, controlling parents. Her grandfather had been pretty relaxed when she was a child, and Dumbledore as a legal guardian stayed out of her business almost entirely, delegating to McGonagall should any issues arise. Annabelle preferred it that way, and thought that if Sirius's parents couldn't accept him the way he was, they should just leave him alone. But they couldn't let go. Until they did, Annabelle feared they'd just be faced with more obstacles, each one more spiteful than the next.

That evening, Sirius and Annabelle found it easier to retreat to their dorm rooms than talk about what happened. Annabelle was starting to think it really was over, and Sirius was trying to maintain his cool, but he was beating himself up on the inside. James found him staring out of the window next to his bed.

"Why are you up here, mate?" James asked.

"Just knackered is all," Sirius replied.

"It's not your fault you know," James said. "You did nothing wrong."

"Polyjuice Potion," Sirius muttered. "How did I not figure it out?"

"You did," James said. "Remember? In a day's time, you had the answer. And I'm betting you would have sooner, had it not been so personal."

Sirius turned and sat down on his bed, but didn't speak.

"Come on, don't tell me you are blaming yourself for all this," said James, sitting on his own bed opposite Sirius.

"Why did I think this would work with her?" Sirius asked. "Was I mental? Of course it was doomed from the start."

"It wasn't doomed. They didn't get away with it and you can repair the damage."

"How? She is alienating herself from me now," Sirius replied. "Probably figures she didn't sign up for this and is glad to be free of the Pureblood and his maniacal family."

"She knew about your family and she still chose to be with you," James countered. "She's probably just waiting for you make the first move. You did dump her, even if it wasn't your fault."

Sirius ran his hand through his hair, and hung his head. "Isn't it selfish of me to put her through this?"

"She can decide for herself how much she's willing take," James replied, then tried to get him to laugh. "She's been putting up with you since September and she hasn't run screaming yet, shockingly enough. That's a miracle right there."

Sirius gave a little half-smile.

James got up and gave him a pat on the back. "Well, you'd better find a way to sort it out with her, because we need her play Quidditch next year."

Sirius laughed and said, "That's the truth."

"Just think about what you want to say," said James, "and talk to her tomorrow. Don't wait too long, because you might miss your chance."

"You think because you got Lily back, you're a love expert now, huh, Prongs?"

"Just call me Doctor Looove," James drawled.

"All right, bugger off, ya arse," Sirius laughed. "I really am knackered. You would be too if you had a day like mine."

"Good night, mate," James said. "Everything is going to get better. Trust me."

Sirius nodded and James went back down to the common room. By the time he returned, Sirius was fast asleep.


	37. Imperfect for Each Other

Annabelle smiled politely at Sirius as he took his seat next to her at breakfast. The awkwardness hadn't faded; in fact, it was like the elephant in the room. She wished he would just talk to her, even if it was to tell her he was over her and moving on. But he just made small talk with everyone at the table, and she did the same.

Later on, as Annabelle did her shift in the library, she found herself missing him terribly, but she reminded herself that she wasn't allowed to be selfish. His parents were vicious and quite possibly he wanted to protect himself for a change. And maybe he should. Next was Potions, where she'd have to endure the strangeness for an entire class period. She pulled the heavy library doors shut behind her and turned around to go to class.

"Boo," Sirius said.

She merely jumped as it wasn't his usual strong effort to startle her, but she didn't mind. He was there, still thinking of her.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello. I came to walk you to class."

Annabelle smiled. "They're gone, you know. You don't need to-"

"I want to. Besides, they have plenty of friends who were disappointed to see them go."

"It's better for you not to be seen with me," she said as they started walking.

Sirius took a few steps away from her. "I'll walk over here, then."

After several feet, Annabelle grinned and said, "That looks convincing."

Sirius laughed and stepped back over to her. They walked to Potions, side-by-side, but without another word.

During Potions, they listened quietly to the lecture. Sirius thought briefly that it would be about Polyjuice Potion, which would simultaneously amuse him and embarrass the hell out of him, but it wasn't anything that complicated. Even Annabelle understood the potion, which meant one thing, the holiday was coming and the professors wanted a break.

When it came time to collect their ingredients, Severus passed Sirius on the way to the supply cabinet and from the look Sirius gave him, Annabelle thought he might attack him. James was there as well, smirking and instigating, and Annabelle realised that Severus' part in what happened had marked him and they weren't going to let it go. Thankfully, Sirius continued past him and headed back to their table.

"Ignore him," she said, and Sirius nodded. Annabelle stole a glance at Severus afterwards, and she couldn't quite read the expression he returned to her. Was it contempt? It sure looked like it. Where did he get off after what he'd done? Annabelle just shook her head at him and averted her eyes.

At lunch, the discussion turned to the Slug Club holiday party, which Lily was invited to, but had no desire to attend.

"You used to love going to Slug Club meetings," said Alice. "You haven't been to one all year."

"That's because she realises it's a bunch of dorks sitting around with Slughorn for a giant mutual arse-licking," said James. "Can you blame her for not wanting to go?"

"I don't feel comfortable going anymore," Lily replied. "Especially not after what just happened."

Sirius and Annabelle shifted uncomfortably at the mention of it.

"I think you should go," advised Alice. "You're allowed to bring a guest, so bring James. Severus won't come near you with him there."

"That little shit," spat Peter. "I say we all go to the party and school Snivellus at the same time."

"We're not invited, first of all," said Alice. "Secondly, Dumbledore made it clear he wanted no harm to come to him. You will only get Sirius into trouble if you mess with Severus."

"She's right," said Lily. "And we can't be sure he knew anyway. Remus even said Elsinore called him naïve when he overheard her in the dungeons. Maybe she never told him what the potions were really for."

Sirius asked, "Do you honestly believe that, Lily? That he had no clue that they were planning on using them?"

"I am not sure what to believe," replied Lily. "All I know is that bothering him will only make things worse. Is it worth it?"

Sirius and James exchanged glances that subtly suggested that it was, to them.

"Well, I also think you should go to the party," said Annabelle. "Professor Slughorn has always respected your talents, and you should be proud that you are skilled enough to be in the Slug Club."

"Skill? Really?" demanded Fairfax. "No offence, Lily, because I hear you are great at Potions, but half the students in there are nitwits whose parents have connections."

"Then why isn't Sirius in it?" asked Peter. "His parents are well-connected," then turning to Sirius, said, "Not that you aren't good at potions too-"

"He asked me to join three years in a row," replied Sirius. "I just don't want to hang out with a bunch of geeky suck-ups. No offence, Lily."

The boys all snickered, and Lily rolled her eyes and smiled good-naturedly.

"If being good at potions makes someone a geek then I am surrounded by geeks as we speak," said Annabelle. "I feel a bit left out, actually."

"Don't worry Annabelle, you are plenty geeky," said Peter. "Just not in potions."

"You're one to talk," said Johnny B. "You are the primary reason the Slytherins call us Gryffin _dorks_."

Everyone laughed, except Peter, who continued with his line of questioning.

"I mean, how did you even pass your Potions O.W.L. to be admitted into the class?" he asked.

"Why is it any of your business?" asked Remus.

"No, it's fine," replied Annabelle. "I crammed for two nights straight and passed, barely, with an 'Acceptable.' Slughorn said he saw potential, so he let me in the class anyway. More like twisted my arm into taking the class. He said it would be useful to improve my skills."

"I think he wanted to be able to say he taught advanced Potions to Darien O'Neill's grandkid," said Peter. "I can't believe he didn't force you to join the Slug Club."

Sirius narrowed his eyes and said, "Watch it, Peter."

"Yeah. It's like you're mad keen on embarrassing her," added Caradoc.

"What? I'm not saying it to be rude," he said. "It's just an observation."

"It's all right," said Annabelle. "I actually agree with you Peter, which is why I _turned down_ the invitation to be in the Slug Club. I'd rather be in it for the right reasons. But it doesn't matter now because my potions skills have improved this year. Sirius has been a better teacher to me than Slughorn ever was."

"Awww," said Johnny B. "Professor Black helping our Annie pass Potions. I can't take it."

Sirius grinned while Annabelle blushed hard. She kicked Johnny B. under the table.

"Ouch!" he cried out. "That was a double assault!" As usual, Alice, had kicked him as well.

"You have a day to think about it, Lily," said Alice, ignoring Johnny B. "But don't let these tossers influence your decision."

The boys pretended to be offended, but Alice just shrugged and smiled. Things were starting to feel almost normal again.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Once classes were finished for the day, there was a bit of time before dinner, so Lily, Annabelle, James, and Sirius decided to tag along with Remus and Claire to the library to get some work done. The quickest way for them to get there from their last class was through one of the open-air cloisters, and even though it was cold, they decided to take that route for some fresh air. As they were quickly shuffling along, the door opened at the other end of the passageway and Severus Snape walked through, coming in their direction.

" _Wonderful,_ " Annabelle muttered under her breath, and she eyed Lily who also appeared anxious. Of all the different routes to take in the entire bloody castle, it figured they would end up in the same one as him.

James smirked slightly, but Sirius didn't. He was too angry for that, and didn't want to play games.

"Remember what Dumbledore said," warned Remus when he saw Sirius' shift in demeanour.

James was on the outside where Severus would have to pass him, and as he did, he shouldered him hard, causing Severus to turn around and draw his wand in indignation.

"Touch me again, Potter, and you'll see what happens."

"Don't worry, Snivelly, I have no interest in touching you," replied James. "I'd be scrubbing the grease off myself for days."

"Let's keep walking," said Lily, trying to pull James away. "Please, don't do this."

James pretended to be done with him, but because he was standing so close to him, it made it easy to wrench Severus' wand from his grasp.

"Give it back, Potter," Snape demanded.

Instead of giving it back, he tossed it to Sirius who promptly winged it out one of the open arches into the snow below.

"Walk away, now," warned Remus again. "Don't lower yourselves to this nonsense."

"I hear you like making potions to hurt people," said James, ignoring Remus' sage advice and instead acting on years of loathing for the glowering young wizard before him. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," replied Snape. "I had no idea what those potions were for."

Sirius laughed scornfully, and took a few steps toward him.

"You just won't quit, will you, you spooky little shit," he said. "I know why you have it in for me, but what did she ever do to you? Nothing!"

"You think you are going to get me to admit something," Severus said. "But it won't work. I told you I had no idea-"

"You're lying!" Sirius thundered through gritted teeth as he grabbed him by the shirt collar and slammed him against the wall. "You could have just punished me, but no, you had to drag an innocent girl into it!"

"Sirius, let go of him," Remus said as he tried to break them apart. "You don't want to do this."

Annabelle approached his other side and tried to get him to loosen his grip. "He didn't win, did he? They didn't win," Annabelle said. "Let him go. It's not worth it."

"James shouldn't have saved you last year. He should have let him tear you limb from limb," Sirius snarled, his face inches from Severus' face.

"You don't mean that, mate," said Remus. "You know it, and I know it. Come on, before you say or do something you'll regret."

Sirius gave Severus' collar a tight squeeze and cautioned him, "Stay away from us."

After one last slam against the wall, he reluctantly let him go and stormed off toward the library.

"I suggest you heed that warning this time," said James to Severus, as he walked backwards, staring him down.

Lily was trying to get him to turn around and said, "It's over, James, let's go."

Remus looked at Severus with a mix of pity and disdain. Claire was frightened by the encounter, so he gently took her by the arm and led her away after the others. Even he didn't believe Severus' story, but he certainly didn't want his friends to get in trouble over it.

Once they made it to the library, Annabelle could see that Sirius was shaken and agitated. He was too angry to just sit down and crack open a book.

"Come upstairs with me?" she asked. "Let's talk?"

Lily, who heard the suggestion, nodded discreetly in approval, and as the others sat down at a study table, Annabelle led Sirius to the second floor storage room. Madam Wigworthy never bothered to walk up there herself, preferring instead to send Annabelle on any upper level errands, so she knew they could talk privately there with no fear of interruptions. She closed and locked the door behind them as Sirius sat down on one of several surplus desks littering the small, cluttered room. Annabelle sat on a desk just across from his.

She looked at him for a moment as he stared off angrily, and she felt compelled to wrap her arms around him and hug the anguish out of him, but she spoke to him instead.

"You can't let him get to you," she said. "He would love nothing more than to drag you down. Don't let him."

Sirius hung his head forlornly, then he said, "Dumbledore won't punish him… because of me. Because of something I did to him last year. In fact, it's probably the reason he agreed to make the potions for them in the first place."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked. "Only if you want to, of course."

"I think I should, so you'll know how my actions most likely played a part in his involvement. I am actually surprised you don't know, since we were sure he would have told Lily all about it."

"She might not have felt it was her place to tell me," Annabelle said. "She has a tendency to be protective of him, or at least she used to."

"Well, be warned. You may think differently about me when I'm done telling you this," he said.

He paused and pushed his hair back behind his ears before dropping his hands and beginning his story.

"It was last spring, right around when James and Lily had just barely started talking to each other again. Severus was constantly hovering around, as though she needed protection from James, trying to ruin it for him. But you know all that, I'm sure….

Annabelle nodded. She remembered all too well how Severus tried to tighten his hold on Lily when he realised her interest in James wasn't going away. He had already been chumming around with some dark characters though, and Lily didn't want to be associated with people like that. People like Malachi and his crew. He might have actually convinced her that James was nothing but a cruel tosser after James had humiliated him with a spell of Severus' own creation, but when Lily came to his defence, he had tried to look tough by shooing her off and calling her a mudblood. It only served to alienate her further and convince her of his involvement in the dark arts. Annabelle had been disgusted by the lot of them; James for being a smug jackass, Sirius for laughing and encouraging it, and Severus for being a possessive git that couldn't leave well enough alone in the first place.

That prank had seemed like a fluke, though; their days of running the school seemed to be waning, as they just weren't as interested in childish games anymore, so both Lily and Annabelle had been surprised when it happened. It was also the last cruel prank any of them played on Severus that Annabelle was aware of, but clearly it wasn't the one he was referring to now.

"He had been palling around with Malfoy and Carrow," Sirius continued, "and that whole gruesome lot. They had caught us a couple times in the hall at night and we almost did real damage to each other while duelling before we'd hear Filch or someone approaching. It's almost like he missed the days of us pranking him and wanted to get us going again now that he had big scary friends to protect him. Except it was really violent, like they wanted to see how far they could go before someone was gravely injured."

Annabelle shook her head in frustration. Deep down she knew that it was no longer about boyish pranks and mischief. It was a deeper, darker magic compelling Severus and his friends to lash out at them.

"The final straw, and perhaps the worst part of it, was his obsession with Remus," Sirius went on. "He figured out that he was a werewolf, because he had nothing better to do with his life than chart the days when he was absent, in addition to spying on him, looking for signs to prove his theory, and sneaking around on full moons trying to catch him. The hateful little git just wanted to expose him, solely for the sake of ruining him. Remus, of all people, the nicest chap around, and he wanted to hurt him.

"So one full moon as we were leaving the Great Hall after dinner, I saw him sneaking out there; I knew where he was going - straight to the Willow to figure out how to get inside. Madame Pomfrey was due to escort Remus there in another few hours; he wasn't actually there yet. James and I had joked with each other that if he ever figured out how to get in, anything that happened as a result would be Karma for being so nosy and scheming to begin with. Seeing him out there though, so bloody intent on exposing Remus, well it…."

He paused as if the memory of it was too much to stomach.

"It upset you," she finished for him. It upset her, hearing about it. Why would anyone want to cause Remus suffering? Sweet, shy Remus who never fell in with the bullying. Saying Severus was misguided would be a gross understatement.

"Yes," he said. "James had run off to talk to Lily so I slipped outside and asked him what the hell he was up to. He gave me some snarky answer about minding my own business which I told him was precious since he wasn't minding his, and that snooping around would only get him hurt. He told me he knew already what Remus was, and that he'd seen him enter the tree before, which led me to question why he was out there then, if he already thought he had all the answers. He said he wanted to see for himself... Now, tell me Annabelle, what kind of simpleton wants to see a werewolf?"

"Maybe he's as naïve as people have been saying," Annabelle said, shuddering at the thought.

"He was determined to have proof so he could have him thrown out of the school. He couldn't do much to James or me, so he went after Remus instead. He even said it once, that werewolves have no business among humans, like Remus isn't human. But I let my temper get the better of me and I did something that I never should have done, had absolutely no business doing; something I regret."

"Sirius… what did you do?" Annabelle asked slowly.

"I told him how to get inside the Whomping Willow."

Annabelle's eyes widened.

"It didn't occur to me that he would actually attempt it. It was just meant as a tease, like… not something I ever anticipated he'd actually do, because as I said, who in their right mind wants to come face-to-face with a werewolf? I just wanted to see him stew over it. Which is why I walked away and forgot about it. But there is no good excuse for it… I just wasn't thinking; it was an angry impulse.

"I went back inside the castle and later on, after Remus had left, I got a bad feeling about it and told James what I'd done. He, unlike me, didn't underestimate the stupidity and desperation of Severus Snape. He said he was going to tell Dumbledore that Severus had figured out how to get inside on his own, and let him handle it from there, but apparently he changed his mind on the way and went out there himself, hoping he wasn't too late. Sure enough the idiot had gone inside and Remus had almost completely transformed by that point. He would have been toast if James hadn't dragged his bony arse out of there."

"Wow," Annabelle said. "No wonder he has it in for you."

He hung his head miserably. "Not only could he have been killed, but James could have been killed as well, and Remus would have been the murderer through no fault of his own. I could have destroyed all three of their lives, and I would have deserved Azkaban, which is where I would have ended up had James not succeeded in saving him."

"No," said Annabelle. "Granted it would have been extraordinarily awful, and you may have been expelled, but you don't go to Azkaban just for giving out the locations of werewolves. You didn't force him to go in there."

"Still," he said, "It would have been utterly tragic for all of us. If Remus had killed James, because of me and my rash decision, I would have asked for a Dementor's Kiss. I promise you that."

Annabelle didn't know what to say. She could understand why he was blaming himself, but she could also see that Severus would have been just as much to blame if tragedy had occurred since he chose to seek out Remus in his werewolf form in an attempt to destroy his life. They had both been wrong in what they did.

"And now, because of me, Severus knows that Remus is a werewolf. Dumbledore swore him to secrecy, but still. It's like I confirmed it for him."

"You didn't think he would go in there," Annabelle said. "He was barking mad. Is it your fault that he was so intrusive and vengeful that he'd risk his own life to prove a theory?"

"I should have known he'd be too curious for his own good," he replied. "I should have thought about how it could hurt Remus if Severus was daft enough to try it. But there you have it. The likely reason he agreed to help those toe-rags with the potions, and the reason Dumbledore most likely won't punish him for it."

Annabelle was silent for a moment as she took it all in. It had been terribly rash of him to reveal the way into the tunnel and he was right, it could have been tragic if things hadn't gone the way they did. But she knew that in his heart he had been upset for his friend, and until a couple days ago, he really had changed his behaviour toward Severus. He had been avoiding him as much as possible, but the git was still stirring the pot with him.

"What are you thinking?" Sirius asked.

"That you were brave to tell me that, and that everyone makes mistakes," she replied. "Everyone."

"Not like that," he said.

"I have."

" _Right_ ," he said sarcastically.

"What? You think _Dumbledore's Darling_ is above making mistakes?" she asked, teasing him.

Sirius winced at the name, and said, "I'm really sorry about that one, Annabelle. But if it's any consolation at all, it was Peter who coined the phrase, not me, even if I did use it once in a while."

"Eh," she said with a wave of her hand. "It doesn't bother me, because it isn't true. I am much closer to Professor McGonagall if the truth be told," she said with a wink, lightening the mood.

He grinned sheepishly. "So, are you going to tell me this awful thing you did?"

"Might as well, even if it is royally disgraceful," she said. "But, I can't have you thinking you're the only muck-up around here. It was also last year and there was that exchange student from Beauxbatons, Marcel Baptiste; do you remember him?"

"Of course," Sirius replied. "You girls all went crazy for him. We were all glad to see him go."

"That's the one," she confirmed. "Well, he was really flirty with all of us, but he started focusing extra attention on Dominica and me. I liked him a lot, but so did she. One night, he came looking for me outside the common room, telling me he fancied me and wanted to get to know me better and all that. I didn't trust him though."

"As well you shouldn't have."

Annabelle smiled and continued. "He told me he'd like to go to a broom cupboard with me, just like that, and when I said no, that I barely knew him, he kept trying to persuade me. He was a little too eager if you know what I mean."

Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"I had serious doubts about his intentions, so I told him he'd be better off asking Dominica if _that_ was all he was after, because she'd probably say yes. Secretly, I was hoping he would lose interest in her if he knew what she was like. I wanted it to be me he fancied, and not that he just wanted to… well…you know."

Sirius nodded. "You were testing him."

"Exactly!" Annabelle exclaimed nervously, wishing she hadn't decided to tell the story. "Merlin, I was so high and mighty, not even aware of how my words could affect someone else. Anyway, I went back up to my room to read for class. A while later Dominica came in looking really troubled. She told me Marcel had asked her to join him in a broom cupboard-"

"He certainly didn't waste any time," Sirius said.

"No, he did not. I guess I was naive too, because I was surprised by how quickly he turned to her. And of course, she went with him just as I'd predicted she would. She told me that he had been awful to her in there, saying nasty things, calling her slag, dirty whore, and other charming words of that nature."

"Did he hurt her?" Sirius asked, horrified.

"No, thank goodness," Annabelle said. "He was just attempting the whole 'dirty talk' thing, not knowing how naff he sounded, or maybe because I'd arrogantly implied that she was those things? Yet she stayed in there with him, giving him what he wanted. I asked her why she didn't tell him to get lost, why she didn't just leave, and she said she didn't know."

"That's actually quite sad," he replied thoughtfully. "But, how is it _your_ fault? She chose to go in there with him and put up with his disgusting talk, correct?"

"Yes, that's true, but what if he had assaulted her or…" she couldn't even bring herself to say the word, "something worse? Don't you see? I fed her to someone who might have been just as dangerous as a werewolf, all for my own selfish purposes. We were friends at the time, not that I should do that to my worst enemy, either."

"I guess I see your point, but you had no idea he was such a scumbag. If something worse had happened it would have been Marcel's fault. It's not like you set out to hurt her like she's been doing to you."

"And you had no idea Severus was so bloody daft, nor did you believe he would go in there."

Sirius could see she was trying to alleviate some of his guilt. It didn't work, but he appreciated the effort.

"Did you tell Dominica what you had told him?" he asked.

"No, but I probably should have, right?" she asked, eyes wide with remorse.

"Absolutely not, Annabelle. Nothing good would have come from you telling her. She just would have known what you thought of her and she'd have felt worse."

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Annabelle agreed. "My shame will have to be my penance. Of course she doesn't realise it, but she got me pretty good for it with this whole Polyjuice fiasco. Anyway, at least you can take comfort in knowing you're not the only careless wanker that can't be trusted around your friends. I'm right beside you there."

"Right," he said, smiling. "I guess we are a match made in Wanker Heaven." They both started laughing when he said it.

"We're the Wanker Elite of Hogwarts," Annabelle chimed in. "We could start our own club, and throw parties for a select few with Wanker connections."

"Or our own Quidditch team," Sirius suggested. "Wankers United, and we could recruit the fearsome five to play with us. Oh wait, two of them are expelled already."

"So disappointing really," Annabelle said, still laughing. "It was a good idea though."

Sirius sighed and said, "Although, I'm still not convinced that what you did qualifies you as a total wanker."

"It was pretty bad."

"Yeah, it was," he laughed. "As bad as it was, I think I respect you more for not being perfect, and for admitting it."

"I'm far from it."

"You're not that far from it," he said, glancing at her timidly. He wanted so badly to hold her, to fix everything and never look back.

Annabelle blushed. Merlin, those eyes.

"No matter what was done before, they are the ones keeping it going now," she said, trying stick to the topic. "No one should be forced to pay for their mistakes forever. Dumbledore even acknowledged that you've been trying your best to avoid trouble with Severus. Our relationship wasn't hurting anyone… except for your parents, and you definitely don't deserve what they dish out… You know that, right?"

Sirius nodded and looked down at his hands. After an awkward silence, it was her turn to ask.

"What are you thinking?"

He shook his head dismally, and said, "I'm thinking I don't know how I can ever make this up to you. I don't blame you if want to keep your distance, though. I will understand."

"Sirius," she said gently. "I don't want to keep my distance. I'm just worried about the consequences, you know?"

"You don't want to fall victim to any more of their scare tactics," he replied. And I don't blame you."

"It isn't that. It's _you_ I'm worried about. I'm scared of the consequences for _you_. What is going to happen to you in a few days when you go home?"

"Annabelle, listen to me," he said. "I knew what I was getting myself into with you. I knew exactly how my parents would react. It didn't stop me, did it?"

"Elsinore suggested you were with me just to aggravate them," she mumbled, lowering her eyes.

"Elsinore was _mistaken._ If that was the case, wouldn't I have gone out with multiple mixed-bloods and muggle-borns over the years? Why would I have waited if I just wanted to get my parents going?"

He had a point there. It wasn't like he couldn't have got almost anyone he wanted to go out with him. Now she felt awful for bringing it up.

"Please tell me you know me better than that, and that you don't believe it," he implored.

"I don't believe it," she assured him. "It was just part of her plan to break us up, to plant seeds of doubt everywhere. I was foolish to fall for it even a little bit, and I'm so sorry for that."

"My parents are aggravated by my mere existence these days, Annabelle. They are looking for reasons to justify that, and if not you, then it would have been something else. Or they would create a reason to harass me."

She had a feeling his parents might argue with that. Mudblood friends were one thing, but he'd upped the ante with a mudblood girlfriend, even if he hadn't planned it.

"But maybe if they think we are through, they will go easier on you," she said as tears filled her eyes. "Maybe it's safer for you if we just go our separate ways for a while."

He stood up and took her hands in his.

"Please don't talk of separate ways, Annie," he said, a desperation consuming him, his own eyes brimming with tears. "I can't face them without you in my corner. I'm sorry for the awful things I said to you over the last two days and I'm sorry I doubted you for a second. I couldn't see beyond my own sadness…."

"I'm sorry too," she said as she began to cry. "I know you are nothing like Elsinore, and I know you only said those things because you were hurt. I will never doubt you again. And I'll be here for you when you return from the holiday. I promise..."

Just then, there was a loud knock on the door. Sirius stepped away from her instinctively, even though they were doing nothing wrong.

"It's dinner time!" called Lily. "We'll wait for you!"

"We're on our way," Annabelle called back toward the door as she hopped down off the desk.

The knock had disturbed their outpouring, and they felt self-conscious all of a sudden. They faltered momentarily, trying to regain their composure.

"We can talk more later if you'd like," he said, heading toward the door and wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"All right. If you'd like."

He opened the door for her and she started out, but Annabelle couldn't wait another moment. She turned around and guided him back into the room, shutting the door behind her. She turned back to face him, and for an explosive moment they just stared at each other. A few seconds later they flew into each other's arms, kissing each other's cheeks, foreheads, lips… salty tear-filled kisses of the happiest kind.

"I love you, Annie. I couldn't stop if I tried," he said between kisses.

"I never stopped loving you either. Not for a moment."

After a couple minutes of catching up on the previous days' lost kisses, there was another loud knock at the door. This time it was James.

"After all that's happened it wouldn't be prudent to tick Dumbledore off by disappearing from dinner. The man is on a mission and heads will roll. We are waiting for you downstairs."

Sirius and Annabelle starting laughing after they thought he'd gone.

"I hear you laughing at me in there. That's not very nice you know!" James teased.

"All right, mate, we're opening the door now," Sirius said.

Annabelle stepped out first, her face tear-streaked, but grinning from ear to ear, followed by Sirius, who looked about the same.

James was puzzled as they began heading down the stairs and said, "I can't tell if you're happy or sad."

"Happy," said Annabelle. "Definitely happy."

"It's a nice change, isn't it?" Sirius remarked.

"Indeed, it is," she replied as he squeezed her hand.

Now, if Annabelle could just convince Sirius to stay at the castle for Christmas, or even to go to James' house; everything would be perfect. Even as she thought it, she knew it was fruitless, and that she'd just have to hope that nothing bad would come to pass. If only happiness was all it took to protect those that we love. But as she linked her arm through his and headed to the Great Hall with her friends, she knew that it couldn't protect him, and neither could she.


	38. Distraction

At breakfast the next morning, Sirius received a letter from home reminding him that he was expected to be there for the holiday. It was straight forward and impersonal, and since everyone was curious, he let them see it. He'd expected something like it; his parents' way of making sure he knew they still held the reigns.

"Annabelle," said Lily, as they were walking to class, "I thought you and Sirius were fine now. What is the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter. Things are great with Sirius. Why do you ask?"

Lily gave her a perplexed look and said, "You're behaving like you have a Quidditch match against Slytherin in a few minutes."

"Am I acting that way? I didn't think I was."

"Spill it, Annie," ordered Alice. "You're a terrible liar."

Annabelle shrugged meekly and frowned. "I just don't want him to go."

"Are his parents really that bad?" asked Lily. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

"Don't ask her that," said Alice. "She will be trying to come up with an answer to that question all night, making herself sick over it."

"You really should try harder to put on a happy face," Lily suggested. "You are only going to make things harder for him if you don't."

"You're right," Annabelle said. "I'm going to try harder."

Lily and Alice knew Sirius and his family didn't get along, but he'd told Annabelle the rest in confidence so she couldn't tell them about how his parents treated him at home. How his father preferred fists over wands, how his mum was given to fits of screaming rage, and how it was worse for Sirius since his parents took his beliefs as a personal affront to the family. As much as she wanted to tell them the truth, Sirius didn't bestow his trust lightly on people and she would not break that trust. But Lily was right, she needed to try harder to be strong. This wasn't about her, and he didn't need her fears and feelings on the matter burdening him.

"He'll be fine," said Alice. "He's been a part of that family his whole life. I'm sure he is used to how things are by now."

The boys had been sauntering casually behind them, talking about the holiday as well.

"My parents are making me go to Coventry for the first few days of break to visit some old great-great aunt or something like that," James complained. "Never met her in my life; never even heard of her until yesterday mornings' post, and apparently she's not long for this world. But we should sneak out to London some night when I get back. Meet near Padfoot's place, and head over to Camden Town or somewhere."

"Sounds cracking, but count me out this time. My parents would panic if they discovered me gone," said Remus, whose parents were overly protective of him ever since he'd been bitten.

"I'll owl you and let you know," said Sirius, who didn't want to commit to any plans just yet.

"Party-poopers," kidded James. "You are welcome to join us in Coventry, Sirius. My mum told me to tell you."

"To visit some dying old aunt you don't even know? Tell your mum I'm absolutely gutted to miss it, but my parents are very eager to see me."

"You're going to make me endure it alone?" James replied. "And I thought you were a friend."

Sirius just laughed. He knew James' mum was trying to give him an out, a way to avoid going home. Every year she invited him to spend the holiday with them, but good old Orion and Walburga Black wouldn't hear of it. Not at Christmas time. It was about keeping up the appearance of a dignified pureblood family, nothing more. There would be no warmth or joy in the Black household at Christmas, just a lot of ill will and going through the motions. What he wouldn't give to experience one Christmas like his friends did every year. Even Annabelle, who chose to stay at the castle instead of accepting multiple invites to friends' homes, said she found Christmas at Hogwarts to be pleasant and merry. He'd never known the holiday to be anything special, and in recent years it had been miserable.

The boys caught up to the girls at the classroom door, and Sirius grabbed Annabelle's hand and led her down the hall a little ways where he stopped to talk to her. He put his hands in his pockets as he casually leaned against the wall, his eyes examining her countenance for a clue as to what was going on in her head. Besides worrying about him, Annabelle was thinking that no one else but Sirius could make leaning against a wall look so seductive.

"Stop worrying that pretty head of yours, Annie. You look like you're about to play Slytherin with that face you've been pulling all morning."

"Ha. Lily said the same thing," Annabelle said, overcompensating by beaming ecstatically. "But you see? I'm grand. I'm merry and bright."

Sirius grinned. "You can't fool me."

"Am I that obvious?"

"You probably should work on your game face a bit. But, I think I've got something to take your mind off your troubles."

He pulled the mistletoe she'd attached to his Christmas present out of his pocket, and held it up over their heads. Annabelle was surprised he'd kept it. There he was, about to face his parents in a day, and he was thinking of her. Her troubles. She decided that from that moment until Saturday, she would work on her game face so he would have one less thing to worry about.

"I told you I'd make use of this," he said, pulling her close with his other arm.

"You don't need this in order to kiss me." She took it from him and tossed it over her shoulder.

He wrapped his other arm around her and lowered his lips to hers. She felt her cheeks get warm as he hugged her tightly to him and kissed her. They held back some because they were in public and didn't want to end up making a scene, but oh how they both just wanted to keep going. These little interludes were never enough and left them aching for the next brief encounter.

"We should go to class, yeah?" Sirius said eventually, then kissed her again. For a moment she forgot to be worried about anything, too consumed in the sheer bliss of his lips. But, class… they couldn't miss class. She pulled back to look at him.

"We should," she said, not wanting him to let her go, but knowing if he kissed her again she wouldn't stop him, and they'd end up cutting class. She wouldn't be let off the hook for it this time.

They resigned themselves to detaching from each other. He held out his hand and she took it, and they strolled into the classroom. They made it just in time.

Professor Binns, the History of Magic teacher, was an old ghost of a wizard who droned on and on, terribly in love with the sound of his own voice. The classroom could go up in flames and he would be none the wiser; he'd still be talking. Since it was so boring, note passing seemed the natural thing to do to help pass the hour. Lily was amused to have two notes land on her desk at the same time. She could tell who they were from before she opened them. The aeroplane would be from James, and the bird would be from Annabelle. She opened James' note first. It read:

**_If you really want to go to the Slug Club Party tonight, I would be happy to go with you. I was just teasing yesterday. Shall we, my darling?_ **

Lily wrote back,

**_It's all right. It won't be any fun for you, and I'd rather spend some time alone with you since we won't be seeing each other over the holiday._ **

She charmed the note to make its way back to James, then opened Annabelle's note.

**_This is so boring... I am falling asleep. Are you going to the Slug Club Party tonight? I think you should go._ **

Lily frowned, and wrote,

**_I don't think so. James said he would go with me, but I know he doesn't want to. Severus will be there... Maybe not the best decision?_ **

She sent the bird flying along the floor a few seats over to Annabelle, who was just opening a note she'd received from Sirius that read,

**_Stop passing notes and pay attention to the lecture. You are here to learn, not to muck about. It's distracting._ **

She grinned and wrote back.

**_Stop watching what I'm doing and you won't be distracted. Problem solved!_ **

She sent the note back to him and grabbed the one Lily had returned. After reading it she replied,

**_I guess, but James would probably be on his best behaviour with Slughorn there. And he wants to make you happy. Let him._ **

Off the bird flew along the floor, gliding straight over Remus' feet to Lily's waiting hand. Lily was already reading James' response.

**_I know you are worried about Severus and I having a go at each other. I promise you, I won't even acknowledge his existence. Let's go. I will get you alone afterwards._ **

Before she replied, she read Annabelle's note, telling her to let James make her happy. She knew she couldn't keep the two boys from ever running into each other again, so she wrote back to James, **_All right, we'll go then. It starts at seven._**

Meanwhile, Annabelle opened the note that had sailed back over from Sirius.

**_It's too difficult not to watch you. I tried. Besides, you are much better looking than Professor Binns._ **

Annabelle giggled quietly and peeked across the room to Sirius, whose elbow was on the desk with his hand supporting his head. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and grinned. She wrote back, **_Now who is the distraction? Is getting me in trouble the only reason you come to school?_**

A few minutes later, the note came back to Annabelle.

**_You know, as well as anyone, the answer to that. I come to school for Quidditch, of course._ **

Annabelle shook her head and responded, **_Is that the only reason? I think I can give you a better reason than that_**.

Off it sailed to Sirius. He grabbed it after Johnny B. tried to stomp on it as it passed. After reading it, he couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he replied, **_I think I like where this conversation is going. What did you have in mind...?_**

This time he sent the note in a different direction to avoid Johnny B.'s attempts to interfere. A few moments later the note came back to him.

**_You'll have to wait and see._ **

He felt his skin tingle at her response. She was torturing him. He stole a glance at her and she was looking straight ahead at the professor, a slight smile playing at her lips. He was glad for the distraction though, as the hour of departure would soon be upon him, and not only would he be leaving her with no friends or family in the castle, but he'd be coming face-to-face with his parents with whom he hadn't shared a word since September, except for that morning's perfunctory letter. Approximately forty-eight hours until reckoning day and he wanted to spend every single one of them with Annabelle. He knew she was afraid for him, but he was trying to play it off like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him. He didn't want her Christmas ruined because of his problems.

As soon as class ended, many of the students tore out into the hall to escape the monotony. Annabelle waited for Sirius, who took her hand and kissed it, a smouldering look in his eyes.

Annabelle laughed. "What are you like, you cheeky thing?"

"What did I do?" he asked, the impish smile he wore betraying the innocence of the question.

"Come on, let's get out of here," she said, linking her arm through his and following behind their friends.

They had an hour between classes and she and Sirius managed to slip away. He led her to one of the castle's many secret chambers and hiding-places that he had and his friends had discovered while traipsing around at night. She wondered briefly if they actually did know about her secret tower, but she didn't dare ask in case they didn't.

"How do you know about these places?" she asked, genuinely amazed at how well he knew the castle.

They had entered an unused room in a part of the castle that wasn't occupied by classrooms or dorms. He opened what appeared to be a linen closet, the shelves entirely empty. When he pushed on the shelves, they opened like a door, and she slipped inside, Sirius right behind her as he charmed the outer door to shut from around the shelf-door.

"All castles have secret rooms like this, as well as secret passages. They were put in as a precaution to protect against invaders and the like. You just have to look for them."

"Yes, but they aren't supposed to be easy to find. You and your mates must have been very busy all these years."

Sirius laughed as he led her up a narrow staircase and around a corner into a small cramped room, the ceiling so low that he had to duck his head. There was tiny, rectangular stained-glass window in the wall emitting a trace amount of light. He locked the door behind them.

"Would have sneaked you up here sooner but I couldn't remember where it was." He looked round the space, his hand resting on the ceiling. "Sorry it's so bloody cold in here."

"You must have checked your map that you had with you the night we went to Moore's."

He smiled, narrowing his eyes. "Yes, the map. A very useful map it is, but if I tell you its secrets I'll have to kill you," he teased, pulling her to him.

"It's okay. I'll get it out of you eventually." She shivered a little from the draught coming in under the door.

"Cold, are you?"

She nodded.

"I'll warm you up."

He led her down to the floor, and they rested against the wall next to the window. He kissed her and she felt like she would disintegrate at his touch. It didn't take long for them to lose their inhibitions, doing whatever they could to distract from the inevitable parting on Saturday. He eventually pulled her over him so that she straddled his lap, and as she kissed his temple, he ran his hands up under her skirt. Her breath quickened as she tried to reconcile how incredible it felt with how far they might end up going if she didn't stop him. When his fingers gripped the waistband of her tights. Annabelle gasped and grabbed his wrists, her cheek still pressed to his.

It was an instinctive reaction, but she wasn't quite sure why she'd had it. Everything he had been doing felt good, and right, and part of her wanted so much to continue. Maybe it was just fear, a normal, healthy fear about the finality of it, and the knowledge that once it was done, there was no turning back.

After a pause, Sirius gently took her face in his hands so he could see her. She looked down, embarrassed, not wanting to look at him.

"I'm sorry, Annabelle, I didn't mean to push you."

"You did nothing wrong," she said, still not able to look at him.

He tipped his head so she couldn't avoid his gaze. "You did nothing wrong either. It's all right. It's a big step… for both of us." When she didn't speak, he said, "I love you, Annabelle. And I want you…To be close to you... There's no denying that. But if you want to wait, I reckon I'll survive."

She smiled at him faintly. "I think I'm still a bit scared."

"That's a good reason to stop, then. But you have nothing to fear with me. I promise."

"I believe you."

She shivered again and he said, "Let's get you sorted."

He buttoned up her shirt and helped her with her tie, then pulled her sweater over her head as she slipped her arms inside. She did the same for him, and after they were fully clothed again, she curled up against him as he wrapped his arms round her, kissing her head as he stroked her hair.

She suddenly felt sad as the distraction had come to an abrupt end and reality came swooping back down on her. Sirius was so patient and understanding, and her heart swelled with love for him. She couldn't fight the imagery taking shape in her mind of what might be waiting for him at home - Sirius and his brother blending into the walls unless they stepped out of line, in which case they'd be dealt the only form of touch they had come to expect from their parents, violent force. She couldn't fathom how anyone could want to hurt him, let alone his parents, the people that were supposed to love him most of all. It was heartbreaking, and she clung to him, wishing her touch could be a talisman of sorts, providing some sort of protection against his parents' harmful ways.

Sirius was also feeling melancholy. As much as it pained him, he had expected Annabelle to stop the proceedings; in fact he was pleasantly surprised that she'd wanted to go as far as they did. He knew she loved him, and he meant it when he said he would wait. But there was nothing blocking out his unwanted thoughts now, and he couldn't fight the depression washing over him as he held her, his trip home squirming its way back into the forefront of his mind. The desolation could no longer be kept at bay.

His parents were not loving people. They never had been. They had kids because that was what you did in wealthy pureblood families. He and his brother were the heir and the spare, both created in a loveless moment of procreation to ensure that the money stayed in the family. They were raised by nurses as babies, who would arrive and inevitably go when they could no longer stand working for his austere, temperamental mother and his callous, prideful father. He had foolishly told Annabelle these details of his upbringing, because she had asked. She had wanted to know all about him. Her stricken face when he had told her about it, and of course when he'd told her his father had a proclivity for physical abuse at times, had made him think he should have kept it to himself. Now she was bearing his burden; he could tell by the way she hugged him, but could barely look at him.

After a while she sat up and began smoothing his hair.

"I wish I was a pureblood," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Why, Annabelle? What difference would it make?"

"That way, maybe your parents would be happy."

"My parents don't know what 'happy' means. But, since we're wishing, I wish I _wasn't_ a pureblood. For a lot of reasons. I know you were dealt more than your fair share of troubles, but what I wouldn't give to have a fraction of what you had with your grandfather."

"You deserved better," she said, then kissed his cheek. "You are so precious, and I can't believe they chose to ignore that." Out of habit, she almost suggested again that he just stay at the castle, but then she remembered the letter he'd received from home telling him he was expected there. He had to go.

Her words had a way of calming him, and made him feel a bit stronger. She helped him remember that he had people who cared about him and were looking out for him, as much as he would let them anyway, and who would help him if he needed it. James' parents were always concerned about him and even Dumbledore often asked how things were with his parents. His closest friends knew how it was and they had all offered to go home with him at one point or another, but his parents would never allow it. Still, it felt good knowing he wasn't alone.

"Let's just stay here all day," he suggested. "Or all week. No one would find us."

Annabelle smiled. "Sounds like a plan, except we have McGonagall next."

"We'd better go, then."

They made their way out of the secret chamber, checking to make sure no one was prowling about before stepping out from behind the closet door and ambling off to Transfiguration.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Later that evening, Lily entered the common room all ready for the Slug Club party. Annabelle and Alice had done her hair and make-up, only a touch since she didn't really need it. Caradoc whistled and James blushed when he saw her. He immediately stood up and took her hand.

"Any reservations I had about going to this party are gone now," he said. "You look stunning."

Lily replied bashfully, "You don't look so bad yourself."

Just then Remus came down the stairs, dressed in a nice shirt and tie, his hair looking tame and dapper. Johnny B. came down behind him, grinning proudly at his handiwork. Claire was in the Slug Club and had asked Remus to join her for the party.

"Whoa, Claire is going be throwing her knickers at you!" joked Fairfax, causing Remus to turn as red as a tomato. All the boys burst out laughing, except for Johnny B. who never went in for the vulgar humour.

"Shut up, Hood," Remus sniped. "She's not like your girlfriends."

"Ooooh, fair enough," Fairfax laughed amicably. "I'm only teasing, you know. All I meant was you look very put together."

Remus rolled his eyes, but said no more. He waited by the door for James and Lily.

"All right, mates, last chance to get a glimpse of the Geek Club party, I mean Slug Club party," James announced as Lily playfully swatted his arm. "Who wants to sneak a peek?"

Sirius and Annabelle were going to the library, which was open later the week before the holidays so students could finish up their final assignments and projects. They had a lot to catch up on, but they agreed to walk with them to the party.

"Maybe we can get a glimpse of what we've been missing all these years," Sirius whispered to her.

"You planning on joining?" Annabelle teased.

"Um, let me think about it. No."

First, they stopped at Ravenclaw tower, where Remus knocked on the door with the bronze, eagle-shaped door knocker.

" _I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played_ ," it said.

They all looked at each other like it was the lamest riddle ever.

"I thought these riddles were supposed to be difficult," said James.

"Answer it, Remus," Sirius said.

"We can't just go in there," he replied.

"I'll answer it then," Sirius said. "A joke!"

The door opened. James and Sirius, who had their trademark devilish glint in their eyes, started calling out for Claire rather loudly.

"Claire! Time to party!" James shouted. "Hurry up!"

"You don't want to miss a second of this party, Claire. Put your dancing shoes on!" called Sirius.

Again, Remus was mortified and pushed them back from the door. He was just about to close it when Claire appeared, simultaneously laughing and blushing. Some of her friends peeked around the corner, also grinning shyly, like they had to see the boys making all the fuss.

"Aww, she looks so pretty," Annabelle said to Lily as Claire took Remus' arm.

"She does," Lily agreed. "They are adorable together."

"Sorry about that," Remus whispered to Claire.

"It's all right," she replied, then turned to Annabelle and Sirius. "I didn't know you were coming as well."

"We're not," said Sirius. "We're going to have a grand old time in the library catching up on school work."

Claire's smile faded. "Oh, that's too bad."

Annabelle knew Sirius and James were itching to make a joke in response so she quickly spoke in order to deter them from embarrassing Remus anymore.

"Better get going, or else you will be rather late," she trilled.

When they arrived at Slughorn's office, the door was open and the party had begun. Remus and Claire went in first and made their way across the room, probably because Remus wanted to be far away from James and Sirius in case they pulled some stunt in front of Claire.

"All right, mate," said Sirius as he straightened James' tie, then patted his shoulder. "Put on a brave face. You can do this."

James, who was pretending to be very solemn, replied, "If I don't return to the dorm by nine, send help."

Lily took his hand and said, "Come on, James. It's going to be fine."

As they entered the office, Slughorn rushed over to greet Lily, and James looked back to the door at Annabelle and Sirius who were peeking in at the party. Sirius laughed at James and pointed at him. James started laughing too, but shot him the two-finger salute anyway.

"Let's go," said Annabelle, not wanting Slughorn to see them there lest he try to invite them in. "We have a lot of work to do."

As they were leaving, Severus Snape was just arriving at the party. Annabelle tightened her grip on Sirius' hand and held her breath as the boys exchanged glares, but neither said or did anything. Sirius looked to Annabelle after he'd passed and she gave him a reassuring smile to commend him on letting him by without a single remark or threat.

After two hours in the library of straight school work, they had finally caught up and were exhausted. They walked slowly back to Gryffindor tower, stopping at an open window on the landing of the staircase they were on. They looked out over the snowy grounds as the frigid air hit them, then up at the stars that were shining brightly in the clear sky.

"Which one is Sirius?" she asked him.

"Do you see Orion?"

"Yes."

"The three stars of Orion's belt point downward toward Sirius to the left," he explained.

"I see it. The brightest star in the night sky. Fitting name for you, really."

He laughed. "I'd much prefer a common name like Henry or Mike."

"But that would be boring," she said. "And you are a great many things, but boring is not one of them."

Sirius was quiet, deep in thought as he rested his arms on the windowsill. Annabelle put her arm around him, but said nothing. There wasn't anything she could say to make him feel better about the current situation.

After a time, he wrapped his arm around her and said, "Why don't you just go home with Lily? I hate to think of you at school over a holiday."

"I've told you, it's not that bad. There are always a handful of other students, and Dumbledore makes a big deal out of it. Sometimes McGonagall takes the older students to London for a day, which is always fun."

Sirius frowned and gave her a squeeze. "Don't you get lonely all day long?"

"I suppose it can get a little dull, but there's stuff to do. McGonagall gives us free apparition and transfiguration lessons where we learn the fun stuff, and we don't have to be anywhere on time so I can sleep as long as I like. Besides, it's better than putting up with Lily's sister, that's for sure."

"She's not very nice, is she?"

"Not at all. In fact, I did go home with Lily for Christmas during first year. Her parents are lovely - so welcoming. But that wretched Petunia has such resentment for Lily and anyone with magical abilities. She was not thrilled I was staying there, let's put it that way."

"What happened?"

"She cornered me in Lily's room while Lily was in the shower. Told me Christmas was for families and asked me if I didn't have any other freak friends that would take me in for the holiday."

He squinted in disgust. "How rotten."

"Fortunately, all muggles aren't like her," said Annabelle. "Needless to say, I felt awful, and I wanted to go back to the castle and let her have her Christmas without me ruining it."

"Did you tell Lily what she said?"

"No. They already have a strained relationship. I didn't want to make it worse. Lily sensed something was off though, and her parents made extra sure I came back for Easter and part of the summer, but I always feel awkward about Christmas, since Petunia thinks it's just for family."

"Or for people of the non-magical variety," Sirius said. "I can understand you not wanting to be around her."

"It's not a big deal. I've had invites from others, but I just feel like I'm intruding. I don't mind being here, so it's all right, really."

Sirius sighed, the cold air causing him to shiver. Annabelle reached out and pulled the window shut.

"Let's get back," she said. "I want to hear about the Geek Club party."

Just as they were turning to go, they heard giggling from further down the shadowy corridor. They turned to see Remus and Claire, holding hands and walking in their direction. The pair hadn't noticed Sirius and Annabelle standing on the landing by the window yet.

"That isn't the way from Slughorn's office," Annabelle said suspiciously.

Sirius' sad expression changed to a look of pure mischievous delight almost instantly. Annabelle noticed, and whispered, "Sirius… do _not_ embarrass them."

Remus and Claire still hadn't seen them standing there, when they stopped in the middle of the corridor and kissed each other.

Sirius and Annabelle's eyes widened before they looked away, and they started laughing silently. It wasn't even funny; it was just so utterly unexpected, in addition to the fact that Remus and Claire would die of embarrassment if they knew his mates were seeing their intimate moment.

"We should make a run for it," said Sirius. "Oh shite, they're coming."

Sirius jerked back toward the window, flinging it open and throwing his arm round Annabelle. They kept their eyes trained on the sky, pretending as though they hadn't seen a thing. When Remus and Claire discovered them, they hesitated before approaching.

"Oh, what a beautiful winter sky, aye Annie?" Sirius said.

"Indeed it is. Quite twinkly and starry."

Remus stood there, looking at them like he could see right through their act, and he cleared his throat in irritation. Sirius turned around feigning surprise.

"Remus! Claire!" he exclaimed, barely suppressing a grin. "Fancy meeting you here. How was the party?"

Annabelle would never have felt the desire to laugh, but she couldn't help it with Sirius around. Everything had potential to be funny with him, and she still had to fight laughing, especially since she could tell Remus knew they'd seen him kissing Claire.

"It was a little dull, actually," Claire said. "We slipped out early and went for a walk instead."

At least she was honest. Remus was shooting Sirius a look of warning, which only made Annabelle want to laugh harder.

"Want to come to the common room with us, Claire? No one will tell on you," she offered.

Claire looked to Remus who nodded in approval, and Annabelle linked arms with her and led her ahead of the boys to escape the awkwardness.

"Go ahead, say it," Remus said to Sirius. "Whatever joke you are going to make, just spit it out."

"What could I possibly have to say," replied Sirius. "I was looking out a window."

Remus gave him a skeptical look. "You've lost your touch, Padfoot, because you're not fooling me."

"Really," joked Sirius. "I was looking at the stars. I couldn't possibly have seen you and Claire snogging in the corridor."

Remus sighed, smiling. "There it is," he said as he slowly shook his head.

"We didn't mean to see it. And I'm only taking the piss because you are so easy to wind up. Claire is a lovely girl, and I hope you continue to snog her in the corridors."

"Thanks... I think," Remus said, as they followed the girls into the common room.

"Anyway, now we're even," said Sirius, who was remembering that Remus was the only one who'd seen him kissing Annabelle at Moore's Pub.

After talking for a while, and watching James do a hilarious re-enactment of events at the Slug Club party, Remus walked Claire back to Ravenclaw tower and eventually they all retreated to their dorm rooms. There was one more day between them and Saturday, and most students were packing, excited to be seeing their families soon, while Annabelle had no choice but watch and worry.

 


	39. Bah, Humbug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a reminder that I made Regulus the older bro (see chap 21 if you haven't already) because I don't personally get the big bro vibe from Sirius. Their relationship was relatively insignificant in the books so I am going with it the way I see it, and you can suspend your disbelief and join me if you'd like since at the end of the day, it's all pretend anyway. :)

As much as they wished Friday could have lasted forever, it didn't. In fact, time seemed to sense their desire for it to stop, and sped up just to spite them. Sirius and Annabelle clung to each other all day like a pair of wet blankets. He even went to the library with her to help her out on her shift, in order to avoid being alone with his thoughts. Annabelle was still trying to be strong for him, making sure that when he'd look at her she'd be smiling, but it was getting so hard to fake it.

Later that evening, they withdrew from the common room to sit on the stairs for a bit, alone. She leaned against him, her arm slipped through his as he held her hand in both of his. They sat like that in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say. He hated that she knew he was anxious, but he couldn't hide it from her. Not when they spent so much time together.

"Well, I hope you have a happy Christmas, Annabelle. I will be thinking of you every minute."

She felt her lower lip start to tremble despite her attempts to remain calm. She inhaled deeply, tried to steady her voice, and said, "Send an owl when you get there, so I know you arrived."

"I will," he said. "Do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Ask Dumbledore to keep the gates unlocked tomorrow night. Just in case."

Annabelle didn't like the sound of that request. She was comforted by his addition of 'just in case', since it made her think it was unlikely he would need to turn around and come right back. Not that she didn't want him there, but something pretty bad would have to happen for him to leave his house when he'd barely arrived and she hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"I will," she responded.

"Don't have too much fun here without us, all right?" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"All right," she replied glumly. He put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

"Cheer up, Annabelle. I am going to be just fine. If things get bad, I know where the door is, remember that."

"Just make sure you leave before it's too late... if it comes to that," she said, sitting up straight and looking him in the eyes. "You have nothing to prove."

He looked back at her and nodded. Then he rested his forehead against hers and kissed her.

A moment later Caradoc and Johnny B. came up the stairs. Caradoc chirped, "Get a bloody broom cupboard!"

Johnny B. smacked him in the arm and cautioned him, but Caradoc's comment made Sirius and Annabelle laugh for the first time all day.

"You two are making me sad today," Johnny B. said as they reached the landing in front of the portrait hole. Even laughter couldn't hide the concern drawn all over their faces. "Parting is such sweet sorrow… blah blah blah," he said, trying to remember a line from _Romeo and Juliet_.

If only it was the parting that was causing the sorrow. If only.

"Don't stay out here all night," he said.

"We won't," Sirius replied.

Again, there was a melancholy silence, which Annabelle broke.

"Bring some pictures back with you from when you were little, all right?" she asked. "I want to see tiny Sirius all dressed up like a proper wizard."

"Must I? I was hoping I could burn all of the pictures from my childhood."

"Don't you dare. You don't have to look at them. Please?"

Sirius smiled. "I'll see what I can do."

Eventually they did return to the common room, and were able to laugh at the antics of their friends. Sirius and Annabelle stayed in the common room chatting with Lily and James until very late, not wanting to leave because leaving meant sleep, and sleep meant waking up to Saturday. But Professor McGonagall had decided to make the rounds, peeking in and quietly telling them all to go to bed.

They said their goodnights quickly so as not to prolong the agony, and went to their dorms. As soon as she was in bed, she missed him. Her mind raced for hours as she came up with every possible issue that could arise with his parents, just as Alice predicted she would. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but morning had come far too quickly.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At breakfast, the Great Hall was abuzz with excitement. Caradoc was making a rude joke that somehow involved Peter and the breakfast sausages in front of them, and Alice was scolding him as the others laughed. Sirius and Annabelle tried to smile and laugh as usual, but it didn't help. Annabelle could barely swallow her tea as she looked around at everyone but Sirius, afraid to make eye contact with him lest she start bawling right there. Sirius also barely touched his food. He had a pain in his stomach and fleetingly wondered if this was what Annabelle had been enduring before every Quidditch match. He tried to concentrate on what the others were talking about, but his mind was fuzzy and he couldn't focus.

Annabelle felt a foot nudge hers under the table and glanced at Johnny B. who was looking back at her, a sorrowful expression in his icy blue eyes. He mouthed the words, _Are you okay?_

Annabelle swallowed hard and breathed deeply as she nodded. She tried to smile, but it only made the persistent lump in her throat grow bigger. Sirius put his hand on her back and said, "I'm going upstairs. Care to join me?"

She nodded again, and put her napkin on the table.

"I'm going to finish packing," he said to everyone. Annabelle didn't speak as he put his arm around her and led her out of the Great Hall.

Not that anyone fell for it anyway, but Sirius had only used that as an excuse since he wasn't bringing a lot home with him. He had a distinct feeling he wouldn't be needing much. He just wanted to put Annabelle's mind at ease before he left.

They sat on the sofa, arms around each other, not saying anything for a while. Finally, the tension became too much for Annabelle and she blurted out, "Please, don't go. You don't have to. There is no reason for it."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "It's not that simple. You don't understand them, Annie. If I don't show up, all hell will break loose."

"They can't hurt you here," she said. "Dumbledore won't let them! Please, let's just tell him."

"Can you imagine the trouble that would be for Dumbledore? My parents have very close connections to ministry officials. They would love nothing more than an excuse to make trouble for him if he got in their way."

"You said you were old enough to leave, though. Why not just do it now? Just don't go back."

"I have to be careful about it," he said, not sure if he should say anymore. "Whatever happens, my parents have to think it is their own doing, their own choice. Or else I will never be free of them."

Annabelle furrowed her brow as she pondered over what he'd said. "What are you planning?"

"Don't ask me any more questions, Annabelle. I know what I'm doing. Please, just trust me. And don't send any owls, whatever you do."

"I don't want you to get hurt anymore," she said, trying like crazy not to start crying. She would kick herself all week if that was how she sent him off, a blubbering mess just adding to his strain.

"Annie," he said, looking her in the eyes and smiling, "I will be fine. Nothing they do can hurt me anymore. If fact, I think I made it sound worse than it is. It's nothing I can't handle." He was lying now, in fact, he'd sugar-coated a lot of what he'd already told her. "But if I don't kiss you now," he continued, "I will miss my chance when the others return from breakfast."

He took her face as Annabelle said, "But Sirius-"

"Shhh," he whispered as he rubbed the tip of his nose against hers.

It was no ordinary kiss. His lips consumed hers desperately in an attempt to fortify himself with her affection so that later, he could draw from it when there was only darkness to be found. She kissed him back with the same fervour, wanting to give him a way to remember how she felt about him when surrounded by people that had no capacity for love, only cruelty. It was all too much, and Annabelle stopped abruptly and hugged him so he wouldn't see the silent tears spilling down her cheeks. He held her tightly, burying his face in her neck.

"I'm going to miss you." She quickly wiped her face on her sleeve.

"There, there, Annie. It's not forever. I will be back before you know it."

She let go of him, but kept her eyes down. He brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear then took her hand and squeezed it.

"Right, and you will be fine," she said finally, trying to remain optimistic for his sake. She chuckled a little and said, "If you'd have told me at the beginning of the year that I'd be sitting here whinging over Sirius Black I would have laughed out loud."

Sirius smiled and replied, "I would have laughed out loud as well. You _hated_ me."

"Hate is a bit strong," she said with a grin, "but you weren't exactly fond of me either."

"I think I did like you deep down, actually," he responded. "Which is why it bothered me so much that you found me reprehensible."

"If I'd known that little tidbit of information I mightn't have found you quite so reprehensible," she replied. "If you recall, I thought you despised me as well."

"That's impossible. I didn't. I couldn't have," he said, grinning as he leaned in to kiss her again.

It was short-lived though, because a moment later, students began to trickle into the common room to get ready to leave.

"All packed?" Lily asked Sirius with a knowing gleam in her eye as she sat down next to them on the sofa.

"Why yes I am. You?" he replied with a straight face.

Lily smiled as James parked himself next to her. "Yep, I'm ready to go. Can't say I'm happy about leaving Annie behind though," she said, frowning at Annabelle.

"Can't say I am either," Sirius agreed.

"Annabelle will be fine," said Annabelle. "Please, don't worry about me. Christmas at Hogwarts is just one smashing good time after the next and it's a pity you all can't bear witness to the extravaganza."

James and Sirius snickered at her sarcasm.

"It's better than visiting some old aunt you don't even know in Coventry," said James.

"Or dealing with my sister and her new boyfriend," said Lily. She stuck her finger down her throat for effect.

Sirius would have chimed in, but there was no way to make light of his situation. What could he say really? _It's better than spending the week in the deepest level of hell?_

"I take it you don't like him very much," Sirius joked instead.

"You could say that," she replied.

"At least she will be too preoccupied with _Vernon_ to spy on you," James said to her. "Maybe you could manage to get away for a while. We could all meet in London."

"We'll see," she replied. "Annabelle, owl me if McGonagall takes you to London next week. Maybe I could convince my parents to let me join you. We could all spend the day together."

"All right," Annabelle said. "That would be fun."

Eventually, Remus, Alice, and Johnny B. made their way over, followed shortly by Peter, Caradoc, and Fairfax. They had their coats and bags with them and they were just waiting to head down stairs where they'd be escorted by Hagrid to Hogsmeade Station. Annabelle usually went with Lily and Alice to see them off just for something to do, but she didn't want to go this time. She didn't want to chance it lest she start crying like a baby on the platform in front of everyone.

When it was about time to leave, students started filing out of the common room and Sirius went upstairs to get his stuff. He had only packed a rucksack, which clearly could not fit enough to last him the entire break.

"That's all you're taking?" Annabelle asked when he came back down.

"Eh, I have a few items at home, so this should do."

It still struck her as odd, but he'd told her not to ask any more questions, so she stood up with the others to say good-bye.

She hugged each of them, and of course when she got to Johnny B. she choked up with tears. Something about his hugs had that effect on her.

"Merry Christmas, Annie," he said. "Love you."

"Love you, too," she said back to him.

"Come on, before we miss the bloody train!" ordered Peter. "You're acting like you're never going to see each other again."

"Where's your Christmas spirit, Peter?" asked Caradoc.

"Bah, humbug," he replied.

Annabelle walked to the door with them, and watched them go. Sirius waited for the room to be empty and when it finally was, he pulled her to him and hugged her close. This was the moment she had been dreading, and she was shaking with nerves as she squeezed him back.

"Don't forget to owl me when you get there."

"I won't forget," he said, struggling to remain composed. If he broke down now, it would be that much harder for her to watch him go.

"I love you," she said. "Remember that."

"I love you too, Annabelle," he replied hoarsely. "So much."

When they finally looked at each other, they could see the shine of tears in each other's eyes.

He kissed her hard on the lips, ran his hands over her cheeks, then turned away and went through the portrait hole without another word.

When he was gone, Annabelle put her hands over her face and wept.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius stepped off the train into King's Cross station with his friends, passed through the wall with ease, and walked with James and Lily to greet the Potters, who were chatting with Lily's parents. After some small talk and one more attempt on Mrs. Potter's part to convince Sirius to come home with them, they went their separate ways.

No one was there to meet him, as usual, and he decided to take the underground to pass the time. Apparition was out of the question since he wasn't seventeen yet nor had he taken the required test to apparate legally. Not that the legality of it would have stopped him, but there were too many people about who would see him disappear. Besides, he wasn't in a hurry.

Instead of heading straight to Islington, which was only one stop away, he took the Circle line, doing a round of the city centre before changing lines and heading home. He had always liked taking the tube around London, mingling with the muggles and seeing how they lived. His parents found his penchant for the underground revolting; they preferred to take taxis when they were forced to travel by muggle means.

He knew he couldn't avoid it forever though, so he resigned himself to going home. He switched over to the Victoria line and while he was waiting for the train he noticed an ad on the wall for The Bay City Rollers, a naff muggle boyband that Annabelle and Lily were keen on. It reminded him that Annabelle would be waiting for an owl from him, probably pulling her hair out by now. Once he arrived at his stop, he made his way out of the station into the bright sunshine, turning right on Upper Street past The Famous Cock pub, whose name always made his brother Regulus laugh hysterically when they'd pass it. It was cold outside despite the sun, and he was glad he had his scarf to wrap around his face. He stopped at a news agent and bought a muggle paper with some galleons he and James had transfigured into quids, and immediately noticed a headline about some violent murders in Romania. He pulled out the Daily Prophet that he'd picked up in Hogsmeade from his rucksack- its main story about the dark wizard they'd been hearing about possibly being connected to a series of murders in Eastern Europe. Sirius shook his head, hoping the Aurors would get him before he could he hurt anyone else.

He shoved both papers into his bag and continued around a corner, where there was an overgrown, gated park in the centre of a square. He took a deep breath and walked to his house, willing it to appear between houses eleven and thirteen. He trudged up the steps and gingerly knocked with the serpent shaped door knocker, his heart beating a little faster. He could have used his wand to get inside, but his parents told him to knock and wait to be let in, as though he was a guest in his own home. He was used to it though, and waited patiently to be let inside.

He was about to knock again when the door creaked open. Sirius looked down to see the family's stroppy house-elf, Kreacher.

"Why, hello there old friend," Sirius said. "Happy to see me, aren't ya?"

Kreacher grimaced at his young master. "Mistress says for Kreacher to take Master Sirius' luggage."

Sirius let out a sharp laugh and pushed past him into the dim hallway.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Kreach, but I just have this one bag and I think I can manage it myself, thank you very much."

Sirius tossed his rucksack into a cupboard by the door, and hung up his coat, despite the elf standing there ready to do it for him.

"Where is everybody?" he asked Kreacher.

"The Master and Mistress told Kreacher to tell Master Sirius they are in Diagon Alley. Mistress says for Master Sirius to be ready for a visit from Master Cygnus Black and family at four o'clock."

Sirius had no desire to suffer a visit with his mother's brother. He really hoped none of his cousins would be joining him, except for Andy who definitely wouldn't be making an appearance since she'd been disowned for marrying a muggle-born wizard. Bella was married to some barmy idiot and Narcissa was about to be married to Lucius Malfoy, a typical pureblood snob if there ever was one. Hopefully it would be a 'hi and goodbye' with the uncle and he could hide in his room until dinner.

As he was about to head up the stairs, he heard footsteps coming down and his brother Regulus appeared on the landing above. He looked like a slightly older version of Sirius with the dark hair and grey eyes, the pale skin and chiselled features, and an air of nobility about him that set him apart somehow. The only other commonality they shared was their love of Quidditch, but Regulus' interest in the sport had waned considerably since graduating from Hogwarts several years prior.

Personality-wise, they were as different as night and day. Regulus was his parents' golden boy, still living at home until his wedding the following summer to a pureblood third cousin that had been arranged years before. Regulus had always been a kiss-up to their parents; whether it was to avoid getting beaten or because he actually subscribed to his parents' ideology, Sirius couldn't be entirely sure, but figured it was a little of both.

"You're late," Regulus sneered. "Mother and Father won't be pleased when they find out."

"Why do they have to find out?" Sirius asked. "Are you going to tattle on me?"

"No, but Kreacher will."

Sirius looked at the elf who glared malevolently back at him.

"You'd better not say a word, Kreacher. That's an order," Sirius said, knowing that the only orders Kreacher followed were those issued by his parents and Regulus. "Tell him, Reg."

Regulus rolled his eyes and sighed languidly. Then he looked down at the elf and said, "Kreacher, please don't mention the time of Master Sirius' arrival to Master and Mistress Black. Are we understood?"

"Yes, Master Regulus," Kreacher replied warmly.

"Very good," Regulus drawled. "Now you may get back to your duties. Thank you."

Sirius started up the stairs, eyeing the very trendy muggle clothing Regulus was sporting.

"Nice bell-bottoms you're wearing," Sirius quipped. "Heading out to a disco later?"

Regulus smirked. "Shut up, Sirius."

"What? You're looking ace. Just don't let Father catch you wearing that," he said as he passed him and continued up the stairs.

Regulus flinched a little at the thought, then turned on his platformed heels and followed Sirius.

"You'd better watch out for Father yourself. He's none too pleased with reports he's been receiving of you gallivanting around Hogwarts with a half-blood, a descendant of that bleeding heart, muggle-lover Darien O'Neill no less."

_And so it begins,_ Sirius thought. The first mention of what was sure to be an endless topic of conversation later. He turned into the drawing room where he took out some stationery.

"At least she's not a blood relative, unlike your lady love," Sirius replied with a snicker. "And what do you have against muggles, really? What have they ever done to you?"

Regulus ignored his brother's remarks, and strolled casually toward him, looking up at the ceiling and scratching his chin as though recalling information.

"Your half blood, granddaughter of Darien O'Neill," he said slowly, "who was married to another half-blood, Margaret Donovan. They had a daughter, Colleen, a squib – no surprise there with all the watering down of the blood. She was your half-blood's mother, and her father a muggle named Patrick Kelly, just another working class muggle slob. A wanton lot, corrupt to the core."

Sirius' eyes narrowed as a chill went up his spine at the ease in which they'd dug up Annabelle's family history.

"Corrupt? He was an activist for justice in the world. He was opposite of corrupt," Sirius responded angrily. "And how do you know so much about her family? Father's been using his ministry connections for the most ethical of endeavours again, I presume? Talk about corrupt."

"She's not even _English_ for crying out loud."

Sirius bent to write his letter to Annabelle as he spoke.

"She was raised in London, educated in London, and treated like a princess by her grandfather," Sirius replied. "He was more powerful and influential than anyone in this family, I'll tell you that. And since when is being Irish a crime? There are Irish purebloods too, as I'm sure you well know."

"She's not one of them," Regulus said. "And I can already tell you what Father will say. The honour of this family transcends power."

"Whatever that means."

"All right," Regulus replied haughtily, as he turned toward the door. "Keep up that attitude and you know what will happen. Don't look to me to defend you though."

"Why would I ever do _that_?"

He went to the window where an owl was perched and waiting in a cage. He brought it out and sent it off out the window to Hogwarts with the letter to Annabelle, then followed his brother out of the room and to the top floor where both retreated to their bedrooms, slamming their doors behind them, without so much as another word to each other.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle had been in the Great Hall watching a silly play a couple of Gryffindor first-years had made up on the spot. Twyla and Zelda were their names and they had been following Annabelle around all day like puppies. At least they were taking her mind off of Sirius, who hadn't sent a letter saying he'd arrived when he should have arrived hours ago.

The girls finished their little skit, and Annabelle clapped enthusiastically. They smiled proudly and sat down at the table with her for a lovely Christmas tea Izzy had provided for them. Annabelle was beginning to consider telling Dumbledore all of her fears when an owl came swooping down over the table and dropped a letter in front of her, then it soared around and winged its way out as quickly as it had come.

She exhaled in relief as she opened the letter which looked like it had been written in a hurry:

**_Dear Annie,_ **

**_I made it safe and sound. All is well, so no worrying, my love._ **

**_Miss you already._ **

**_x Sirius_ **

It was short and to the point, which she presumed was because he'd be busy with his family, or there just wasn't anything to report. The 'all is well' part struck her as a bit insincere, but it didn't matter, because there was not a thing she could do about it.

"Is that from your _boyfriend,_ " Zelda asked with a cheeky grin.

"Yes, it is."

"Can we see it?" she asked.

"Sure, why not," Annabelle said and tossed the letter to the nosy girls.

They leaned over it, smiling from ear to ear like they were reading someone's diary. Annabelle chuckled a little and shook her head. She could imagine that she and Lily would have reacted the same way if they'd ever been allowed to read a note from Connor Fawley or Gavin Travers to their girlfriends at that age.

The girls started giggling and with exaggerated voices said, " _My love_."

Annabelle rolled her eyes but laughed too.

"What's wrong with that?" she asked the pair.

Twyla giggled. "Nothing."

"Your boyfriend's hot," Zelda blurted out.

"I know," Annabelle said, and they all giggled.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius was supposed to be getting ready to meet his uncle and his family in about a half hour, which meant he was expected to dress accordingly. He opened his wardrobe and pulled out the high-necked, Victorian era dress shirt, vest, and black trousers that all respectable pureblood wizards wore when entertaining, and tried it on. The shirt and vest proved to be at least a size too small, and the pants were high-waters, as he'd had a growth spurt since last Christmas.

"Shite," he muttered, a ripple of panic washing over him. He thought briefly of asking Regulus if he could borrow some dress attire from him, but thought it might be easier to just nick a set when he left his room. He tried on his dress robe and it fit just barely. Part of him was tempted to just greet his uncle in his street clothes, or better yet, in Regulus' flashy bell-bottoms and pointy-collared shirt. James would laugh at the idea, but Sirius would never dare. It was a funny thought, though.

He sat by the door hoping Regulus would come out of hiding before his parents got home, if they weren't home already. He didn't expect them to run up the stairs with open arms or anything, so for all he knew they were downstairs, preparing for their guests.

A few minutes later, he heard Regulus' door open and close, and Sirius peeked through his keyhole to see him heading down the stairs, dressed like a proper pureblood.

He crept over to his room, pulled out his wand and said, " _Accio_ dress shirt."

A white, antiquated looking shirt popped out of the wardrobe and he grabbed it. He did the same for the trousers and vest. His school shoes would have to do though, which he'd worn home instead of his trainers since his mother would have had Kreacher throw them away had she seen them, and they were his favourites. His feet were a half size larger than Regulus' already and he couldn't squeeze them into Regulus' spares.

He stole back into his own room, quietly shutting the door behind him and locking it. He changed quickly, hoping that Regulus wouldn't be able to tell that he was wearing his clothes. He fumbled with the cravat; the wide Victorian neck tie he was expected to wear as part of the ensemble. The dress robe was tight across his broadened chest, but it served its purpose well enough, Sirius thought, and trying to enlarge it with magic was tricky and might make it worse. All he needed was a silver handled walking stick and he'd look just like the portrait hanging in the dining room of his father.

He ran a comb through his hair and pulled it back with thin black ribbon. He looked in the mirror and barely recognised himself. He hated the image he saw staring back at him, this pureblood ponce, and was tempted to just put his regular clothes back on and say the hell with it like he'd originally planned, but something about being there, and the darkness that had already begun to swallow him made him want to hold off a bit on upsetting his parents. He hadn't quite steeled himself for a fight just yet, nor did he want his uncle there when it happened.

Before leaving the room, he rummaged through an old chest at the foot of his bed and found a picture album. Sirius noticed that he wasn't smiling in any of the shots, in fact he looked downright miserable in most of them. One held the image of a five-year-old Sirius crying and rubbing his eyes, another of Regulus shoving him to the ground; these torments playing like mini films running on repeat forever. He pulled out several that he thought Annabelle would appreciate and shoved them inside the pocket of his robe. Then he ventured out into the hallway, leaning over the bannister of the stairs to listen for voices. They were there, inside the drawing room. He took a deep breath and started down.

Just as he reached the last step before the landing, the drawing room door opened and his father stepped out. Sirius froze as he stared helplessly at the brooding patriarch. He always hated how much he resembled his father, who was pretty much a slightly bigger and ageing version of Sirius and Regulus. Except for the eyes. His father had midnight black eyes that barely seemed human they were so dark. Sirius held his breath.

"I was just coming to see what was keeping you," his father said. "Your robe is ill-fitting. And your shoes, where are your dress shoes?"

"They are too small, sir," he responded meekly.

His father exhaled deeply through his nose and clenched his jaw as he cast a look of disgust upon his son.

"You are a _disgrace_ ," he replied then stepped forward and grabbed him by the back of the neck, wrenching him off the last step and into the drawing room.

 


	40. From the Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warning: heavy theme of abuse/violence in this chapter.

Sirius staggered into the drawing room, straightening as soon as he regained his footing. His uncle and aunt looked at him disapprovingly as his father followed behind him. Their youngest daughter, Narcissa, was sitting on the settee next to her fiancé, Lucius Malfoy, and they both pursed their lips as though they were trying not to laugh. It was clear to Sirius that they'd all been talking about him just before he'd entered the room. He narrowed his eyes, but his father pinched the back of his arm and growled into his ear, " _Greet your family."_  


Sirius awkwardly approached his aunt and uncle. His uncle stood up and shook his hand, but his facial expression remained stony and critical. Sirius leaned over and kissed his aunt's cheek and noticed that she smelled musty, like a dungeon. It was so powerful an odour that he felt his stomach lurch and he had to force himself not to gag.

He turned toward Lucius who stood up and shook his hand, squeezing it extra tightly like he had something to prove. Sirius didn't flinch. Then he leaned over to kiss Narcissa on the cheek and she wrinkled her nose in revulsion as he pulled away from her. Finally, he made his way to his mother, who sat stiffly in a straight backed wooden chair, her face the very definition of contempt. He found himself shaking a little as he pressed his lips to her cheek then said in a low voice, "Greetings, Mother."

She remained still, except for a slight twitching of her facial muscles and her eyes which had widened slightly, staring straight ahead like she was doing everything humanly possible not to slap his face. Regulus sat in a chair beside her, refusing to acknowledge Sirius' existence. Sirius was glad for that; if Regulus didn't want to look at him then he'd never notice that Sirius was wearing the dress attire that he'd nicked from his wardrobe.

He took a seat next to his uncle, pushing his chair back a little so as not to be too close to him. Narcissa kept shooting him smug glances as they spoke of politics and money. Sirius could barely stomach the political talk as everything they touted went against the very core of his being, and the money talk simply bored him.

"Well, I think cousin Araminta had the right idea when she proposed making muggle-hunting legal," Cygnus said. "Maybe not all of them, but the derelicts. The extra filthy ones."

"Here, here!" cheered Sirius' mother in response. "It would have been an even better idea if they'd added mudbloods to the proposition. All they do is weaken the blood lines and they should be done away with before it becomes more of an issue than it already is."

Sirius knew they were trying to get a rise out of him. It was an old, rather horrific conversation, something they had no reason to talk about again, except to send a message to him. They had tried the same approach with Andromeda when they found about her muggle-born boyfriend, and it failed miserably. What made them think it would work with him?

"I think a law is in order that forbids half-breeds and muggle-borns from marrying pureblood wizards and witches," his father proposed. "That would put a halt to the feculent mudbloods forgetting their place and trying to forge relationships with the elite."

Sirius was impressed with his father's word choice and had to stop himself from calling out, _"Ten points to Slytherin!"_ Comparing non-pureblood witches and wizards to shit… Nice touch. Leave it to Orion Black to come up with the most disgusting descriptors for his son's girlfriend. What an honourable man.

He denied them a reaction though, staring down at the fringe on the oriental rug, giving nothing away. The ability to remain aloof was a trait he'd picked up from his parents, maybe the only useful thing he ever learned from them. He knew it was killing them that he wasn't rising to the bait, and he wondered if they would give up finally.

"I hear Sirius has a little girlfriend," Narcissa chirped. "Why don't you tell us about her, cousin?"

She apparently had decided to cut to the chase.

"What would you like to know?" he said evenly.

"I'd like to know how she got my cousin expelled from Hogwarts," Lucius demanded.

"Sirius! Is this true?" his mother barked at him, feigning surprise, even though he was sure she knew all about what had happened.

"No, Mother," he replied tiredly. "It's not true. His cousin played a vile, intrusive trick. He got himself expelled."

Lucius turned beet red from anger, but said no more as Narcissa rested her hand on his arm.

"I heard she's quite a Quidditch player," Narcissa said, egging him on.

His aunt coughed. "A proper lady does _not_ play Quidditch."

Sirius bit his tongue to stop himself from unleashing a series of insults, beginning with a proper lady doesn't smell like just she rose from a coffin after fifty years sleeping.

"But mummy, she's Darien O'Neill's granddaughter. She can do no wrong!" Narcissa replied in a sugary sweet voice.

"Pish! I don't care if she's Merlin's granddaughter. A proper lady does _not_ play Quidditch!"

"I am in complete agreement, Druella," his mother snapped, her eyes boring into Sirius.

"Why do you care so much, Cissy?" Sirius asked the gloating young witch.

His father erupted then.

"She cares because she doesn't want this family's name dragged through the _mud_!"

"You mean like her sister did?" Sirius replied.

Orion Black's eyes grew huge and Sirius knew he'd made a mistake.

Cygnus stood up. "I think it's time for us to be going now. Christmas shopping awaits. Sister, it was lovely to see you. Regulus, Orion, take care." He shot a condemning look at Sirius before turning to go.

The others stood up to leave as well, saying their farewells, kissing everyone goodbye, and ignoring Sirius, who had stood up anyway out of habit. His parents and Regulus walked them downstairs to retrieve their coats, but not before his father muttered, "Stay right here," to Sirius.

Sirius braced himself for what was coming. He heard the popping sounds of his uncle and his family disapparating. Moments later, his father stormed back into the room and cuffed Sirius so hard across the jaw that he fell sideways off the chair and onto the floor.

"How _dare_ you speak to your cousin that way?" his father bellowed. "In front of your uncle and aunt no less! You were raised to have manners, boy!"

Sirius didn't move. He thought maybe if he remained still, his father would lose interest, the way a troll might walk away if it no longer detected a threat.

"You will be in the dining room at six o'clock _sharp_!" Orion raged on, yanking Sirius to his feet by the shirt collar. "Now have some dignity! You are a Black. Act like it!"

Sirius was shaking as his father stalked off to the master bedroom. He touched the spot where his father had punched him, and winced with pain. He could already feel it swelling and he knew that it was the just the beginning. His resolve was wavering, and he was no longer certain he was brave enough to stand up to them once and for all. He ran up to his room and closed the door, cracked open his ceramic owl-shaped bank that he'd been stuffing money into since he was small, and shoved the contents into his robe pocket. He didn't come out again until just before dinner to wash up. He looked in the mirror and noticed that his jaw was bruised and the swelling had gotten worse. He felt like he was in prison, and that he'd never escape. How he longed to be far away from there, with his friends. With Annabelle.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

There weren't as many students staying at Hogwarts for the holiday that year as in previous years. In addition to Annabelle and three other Gryffindors, there were two Slytherin boys, three Ravenclaw girls, and two Hufflepuffs, a boy and a girl, all of varying ages. Annabelle was the oldest student there, which made her feel like the reluctant babysitter of the group at times.

She managed to lose Zelda and Twyla for a bit after setting up Alice's Gobstones game for them in the common room. Another Gryffindor, a fourth-year boy named Nico decided to play the game with them. They said they wanted to practice for that evening's scheduled game night in the Great Hall. Annabelle slipped upstairs and fell onto her bed, exhausted from being up so late the night before then getting up early to say good-bye. She wasn't interested in attending game night, as she wasn't a fan of wizarding games to begin with, but she had told McGonagall she'd be there to help out, so a nap was in order if she was going to make it.

Exhausted as she was, it took her a while for her mind to wind down. Her sleep was fraught with nightmares, children running from a giant beast with a razor sharp whip, someone screaming in the distance, and Annabelle sitting in a dark empty room, her hands dripping with blood. When she woke again, it was to the sound of Zelda and Twyla twittering in the doorway of her room.

She sat up with a jolt. "Is it dinner time?"

Twyla giggled and said, "Yes. We said your name like five times!"

"You wouldn't budge," snickered Zelda.

"Sorry," Annabelle muttered, brushing her hair and slipping on her shoes, trying to shake the bad dreams.

She walked down to the Great Hall with the girls, listening as they filled her in on all the first-year gossip. They talked her ear off all through dinner, even letting her in on their secret crushes and singing their favourite songs from the radio to her.

"Do you listen to Wizard Radio or Muggle Radio?" Twyla asked.

"I suppose I prefer Muggle Radio," said Annabelle. "It has a lot more options."

"Wizard Radio is so _boring_ ," said Zelda. "All that's ever playing is Celestina Warbeck.'

The little witch did her best impression of Celestina Warbeck then, dramatically warbling the lines from her latest hit, "You Cast a Spell on Me." The girls burst out laughing after, including Annabelle, who was glad for the silly nature of eleven-year-olds.

"So you aren't fans of Ms. Warbeck, I take it?" Annabelle teased, the sarcasm going right over their heads.

"Ew, noooo!" they replied, then giggled some more.

"My mum listens to her," said Twyla.

"I prefer ABBA," said Zelda. "They are boss."

"Yeah, they are," said Annabelle.

The two girls instantly launched into their rendition of "Dancing Queen," getting a bit carried away and show-offy.

"Ladies," warned Professor McGonagall from her spot at the table next to theirs. Since there were so few students, the staff didn't sit at the head of the room; instead they sat together at another table where they could converse with each other informally.

Twyla's eyes crinkled merrily. "Oops!"

Zelda just shrugged and continued whispering the words to the song. Soon enough, the girls turned back to questioning Annabelle as their primary form of entertainment.

"Were you cross when those Slytherins played that trick on you?" Zelda asked.

Annabelle was growing tired of the girls and their questions. It was still a sore subject for her and she was in no mood to discuss herself and her personal business anymore, even though she knew they meant no harm.

"Yes, I was. Who wouldn't be?"

"I'd hex them into next week," Twyla said, and the girls giggled again.

"The thought did cross my mind."

"Did your _boyfriend_ kick that boy's arse?" she asked, smiling hopefully as she spoke.

"No," Annabelle said. "But he did punch him the face."

"That's wicked!"

"We saw you kissing, once," Zelda said, almost snorting with delight.

"Merlin! Can we change the subject?" Annabelle asked, not hiding her irritation.

The girls giggled for the umpteenth time in the last fifteen minutes, but reluctantly moved on from the topic of Annabelle and her _boyfriend._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius made his way down to the dining room, the portraits of his ancestors whispering in disappointment as he passed. He heard the words blood traitor and dishonour being tossed around, but he no longer cared. He stopped at the hall cupboard to stuff his clothes, his meagre savings, and the photographs Annabelle had requested into his rucksack. He wanted to be prepared.

Kreacher served dinner, and as hungry as Sirius was, his jaw hurt too badly to chew. There was also the familiar fear that Kreacher might try to poison him. But he did his best to eat some, mainly to avoid being berated for not eating.

No one spoke at first, and the only sound was that of the silverware clinking occasionally against plates. It was the standard at meal times. Nobody ever spoke much; Sirius and Regulus for fear of saying the wrong thing, and his parents because they were miserable and didn't like talking to each other. In recent years a new normal had developed, which consisted of Sirius losing control of his temper after countless attempts by his family to degrade him for not agreeing with their views, and getting the stuffing knocked out of him by his father. As much as he hated being beaten, it had to happen one more time if he was going to be free of them for good. He knew they weren't through with the subject of Annabelle, so he bided his time wondering which one it would be to bring her up again.

His father had finished his dinner, and put his silverware down. Sirius stared absently at the dark green walls and the greyish-silver serpentine border making its way around the crown moulding. He could smell the gas from the flickering lights on the wall, and wished momentarily that they would malfunction and burn the house to the ground.

Finally, his mother broke the silence.

"Did you hear, darling, the Collins' family cancelled their annual New Year's party this year?" she asked her husband.

"Oh dear. Whatever for?"

"Elsinore was expelled from Hogwarts," she said, pretending as though it was the first time she'd reported the information to him. "She was accused of the same thing as Malachi Malfoy. They are extremely upset over it."

They had given Sirius a perfect opportunity to get things rolling, but he held back. He wanted to see how far they'd go to offend him.

"What an utter shame," his father replied. "And all because of a mudblood's accusations. That Dumbledore needs to be put on a shorter leash, I think."

Sirius was compelled to defend Annabelle, but still he waited. He enjoyed making them stew. Leave it to Regulus to stir the pot, though.

"Of all the girls at Hogwarts, Sirius, you had to pick her?" he scoffed. "Only you would pick the dirty spawn of the O'Neill family over the gorgeous Elsinore Collins. You're bonkers."

"It does not matter," his father declared, "because whatever Sirius' involvement with the girl, it is now over."

It was time. Sirius nodded his head slowly, but rolled his eyes ever so slightly.

"Do you have something you'd like to say, son?"

"No father, I have nothing to say. You told me it's over. And so it is."

"Don't get cocky with me, young man," his father spat. "You want to pollute the Black family pedigree with that garbage? She's _garbage_ , Sirius."

Sirius gritted his teeth and looked the elder Black in the eyes.

"No. She. Isn't."

His mother wailed, "If you continue consorting with trash you will no longer be a part of this family! You have disgraced us one too many times!"

Her screaming only served to agitate his father more. He stared at Sirius, his eyes filled with fury.

"I can't take this anymore. It is to be over, as of _now_. You are no longer permitted to have contact with her."

Sirius laughed irreverently, bobbing his shoulders up and down and shaking his head back and forth.

"Is something humorous?" his father questioned.

Sirius stopped laughing and sighed loudly.

"It's just that it will be difficult not to have contact with her since we are in classes together, we're lab partners, we live in the same house at school, we play Quidditch for the same team, and our friends all hang out with each other. I kind of have to see her."

His father began to shake with indignation.

"You are not to consort with her anymore," he said slowly, enunciating every word. "You have brought disgrace upon this family for the _last_ time!"

"And what if I enjoy consorting with her?"

Orion Black slammed his fist down on the table causing the dishes to clatter. There was a breathless pause while father and son locked eyes, then his father lunged at him and slammed his face upon the edge of the table. Sirius felt the pain blast across the bridge of his nose as his father got up and strode over to him, grabbing him out of the chair by the arm and shoving him to the floor. Sirius inched backwards away from him, but there was no escaping as his father brandished his walking stick and leaned over him to continue the verbal lashing.

"It was one thing when you were sorted into the wrong house," he said, rage building in his voice. "It was another when you began chumming around with half-bloods and muggle-lovers. But this time you've gone too far. Your filthy little mutt's family goes against everything this family stands for. _EVERYTHING!_ "

Sirius could barely speak for the pain throbbing in his face, but he made every effort to respond.

"Then I do, too," he replied, the blood from his nose trickling into his mouth.

"Oh you do, do you?"

His promptly yanked Sirius' arm up, raised his walking stick, and struck Sirius in the rib cage with it. Sirius yelped in pain.

Before his father could speak again, his mother stood up and began shouting, "I want him out of here right now! There will be no blood traitors in this family! I am tired of the _arrogance_ , the flouting of propriety, and this absurd love for half-breeds that you seem to be _infected_ with!"

His father squatted in front him and took hold of his son's aching face, causing it to throb even more.

"This is your last chance, Sirius. Stop defiling this family's noble reputation with all of this nonsense, or we wash our hands of you!"

Sirius could feel it; it was almost over. What he did next would be the thing that freed him, if it didn't kill him first.

"Wash your hands of me then," he replied. His father's black eyes were drilling into his, and Sirius, who lacked the strength to fight back, spit blood in his father's face.

Regulus gasped, turning three shades paler than he already was. He couldn't stand his brother, never could actually, but he didn't want to witness his father kill him. As Orion Black lifted his walking stick and began administering the barrage of blows upon Sirius' enfeebled body, he found himself coming between them.

His father stepped back in surprise as Regulus lifted Sirius by the shirt collar, doing his best to imitate his father's wrath and dragged him across the room where he gave him a heave, causing Sirius to fall to his knees near the front door.

"Get out, you putrescent spot upon this family!" Regulus roared. "Be gone with you!"

"I'm trying to," Sirius replied hoarsely, the agony that pulsed through him causing him to gasp intermittently.

He tried to sit up, but his mother charged him, slapping him fast and hard with the back of her hand, her sharp emerald ring cutting across his forehead, then again across the corner of his mouth.

"You have run out of chances! You won't abide by this family's rules, so you are not a part of this family any longer!" she hollered as she drew her wand and charged up the stairs to the family tree.

"Kreacher, his belongings," said Regulus.

Sirius lurched for the door as Kreacher opened the cupboard and threw his coat and rucksack at him.

He thought it was over and that he was finally free when his father grabbed him by the neck and growled, "Don't you ever come back."

"Let me go," Sirius croaked faintly. "Just let me go."

A subtle understanding seemed to pass between them, and his father opened the door and kicked him onto the cement stairs, causing Sirius to hit his face on the bottom step. Next, his coat and his rucksack landed a few feet away, and Sirius heard the door slam behind him. The evening darkness was a stark contrast to the brilliant daylight of a few hours earlier, and he could barely see for the lack of light and the blood running into his eyes.

It was the worst beating he had ever endured, but he had known it would be. They had issued the ultimatum as expected, and he refused, so they made one last attempt to beat him into submission. His body was coursing with pain so potent that he wasn't sure if he could move. The ribbon that had been holding his hair back had become loose and he pulled it the rest of the way out, leaving in on the ground. Slowly he got to his knees, and crawled on his left arm to his coat, as the other arm felt broken. He pulled the scarf out of the sleeve where he'd stuffed it and wrapped it around his bloody face, pulling his hair down over his forehead to hide the gash.

He managed to dislodge himself from the tight robe, his right arm hanging at an unnatural angle, and slipped into his coat. He clutched his rucksack and crawled to the curb, his ancestral home disappearing behind him. Fear that they would change their minds and drag him back inside compelled him to stand up, grasping the wrought iron fence of the house next door for support. He held on in an attempt to steady himself, and then took a few steps, then a few more, resting every now and then against the cold iron spikes. Once he was at the corner, he staggered to the curb and held out his good arm for the Knight Bus. It appeared with a clamour almost instantly, and he slowly climbed aboard trying to stomach the agony that quaked through his every nerve ending.

"Hogwarts Castle…please," he rasped to the driver as he set his rucksack down and groped for the exact change.

"Ya sure you don't mean St. Mungo's?" the conductor asked suspiciously. "You look like you've been in a fight with a Chimaera and lost."

"No… I won," Sirius mumbled vaguely as he took a seat by the window and closed his eyes. "I'm a Phoenix…rising from the ashes."

The driver and conductor exchanged befuddled looks, not sure if this lad was playing with a full deck. Then the driver hit the gas and they were off. Sirius leaned against the window, holding his aching abdomen with his working arm as the bus bounced back and forth and he slipped in and out of consciousness.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After dinner, Annabelle helped Professor McGonagall prepare the games for Game Night. Some of the staff that were staying for the holiday were present, happily participating in the diversion. Hagrid and Nico the Gryffindor had an intense game of chess going on, while Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall battled each other in Gobstones, much to the delight of the students. Annabelle found it all rather dull, actually, but had nothing better to do at the moment so she did her best to get involved.

She hated Exploding Snap more than any other game, but the Ravenclaw girls asked her to play with them so she suffered through the series of vexing cracks and pops. Later, Zelda and Twyla requested she watch them play Gobstones. She sat at a good distance to avoid being sprayed with the stinky liquid. The oldest Hufflepuff, a tall and strong looking fourth-year named Veronica sat down next to her and wanted to talk about Quidditch.

"So who's your favourite team?" Veronica asked her.

Annabelle realised Veronica must have thought she was a massive Quidditch fan because she was on the team. Truth be told, she had no real opinion on teams, so she gave the answer she always gave because it was her grandfather's favourite team.

"The Ballycastle Bats. You?"

"You know, the Holyhead Harpies are brilliant," she replied, "but I have to go with my hometown team, the Wigtown Wanderers."

Annabelle felt daft because she'd never even heard of the Wigtown Wanderers.

"Nice choice," she replied. "Do you play?"

"All the time when I'm at home. Chaser. Although I'm also not bad at Beater."

"Why don't you try out for the Hufflepuff team next year?"

"I'm thinking about it actually," Veronica replied, then hesitated before continuing. "Did the boys treat you differently because you're a girl?"

"Hmm, not really. They were quite good about it actually. And they certainly didn't go soft with me."

"That's good to know. It's not just a boys' sport, and there are female players that can outplay any male."

"You're right about that," said Annabelle with a smile. "Well, I hope you try out. It would be an honour to play against you next year."

Veronica's eyes lit up at the prospect. "That would be amazing."

The two Slytherin boys, a first year named Phillip and a third year named Faustus had been mucking about in the entrance hall, pretending to duel. Annabelle was sent to check on them a few times, but Dumbledore, who had shown up to play a few rounds of Exploding Snap didn't seem to mind, as long as they didn't go tearing through the castle. Everyone had gathered around Dumbledore and the Ravenclaw girls, watching them play when the Slytherin boys came hurtling back into the Great Hall. They ran up to Annabelle and pulled at her sleeve.

"Come out here," Faustus whispered.

She looked at him doubtfully, reading his facial expression for some sign of a prank. Dumbledore glanced up briefly, but Annabelle slid off the table she was perched on and went with them. They each had her by a sleeve as they pulled her out into the dim entrance hall where the torches were casting spectral shadows across the walls. Faustus pointed toward a heap in the corner by the doors, and Annabelle suddenly felt frightened as she squinted to make out what it was.

She looked to Faustus who whispered, "He told us to bring you and you alone."

"Wha…who did?" she said, her heart beginning to pound as she took out her wand.

"Him," Phillip said. "In the corner."

Annabelle didn't move, but squinted again at the motionless mound in another attempt to figure out who or what it was.

"This better not be a trick, or you will pay _dearly_."

"It's not a trick," he said. "He told us to find Annie."

Her eyes widened and she gasped, then bounded toward the corner, the tip of her wand alight.

"Sirius," she whispered as she fell to her knees beside him.

He was doubled over, his scarf still around his face, and he jumped as though he'd just been startled. She leaned over and put her hand on the side of his head in an attempt to get him to look her way, and he flinched again. Then, with a loud groan, he wrenched himself into a sitting position against the wall and pulled the crimson-stained scarf down from his face.

Annabelle screamed.

 


	41. Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not sure if St. Mungo's had an ER, but I figure wizards must get injured non-magically as well at times, and some might need immediate attention from healers. So for this story, it has an ER where critical patients can be brought in quickly. :)

He was a jarring sight, with dried blood mixing with wet covering the majority of his swollen and sliced up face. His eyes kept closing then jolting back open; two shiny orbs suspended in the blood-soaked contours of his head. Annabelle's stomach clenched as panic possessed her.

"GET HELP! _NOW_!" Annabelle shrieked, and the two Slytherin boys tore back into the Great Hall.

She bent closer to him, afraid to touch him as he kept groaning and contorting to one side. He gave his shoulder a jerk, dislodging his rucksack and nudging it toward her. His eyes shut again but immediately opened as he winced in pain. This was far worse than anything she'd anticipated.

"Annie," he managed to moan, "It's all better now."

"Sirius, did they do this to you?" she squeaked.

"I'm never going back," he whispered as his eyes shut again.

Dumbledore flew into the entrance hall, casting a spell on the torches so they'd illuminate the space, and rushed over to Sirius. When Sirius saw the figure looming over him he attempted to shield himself as though it was his father about to inflict more pain.

"It's all right, son," Dumbledore soothed. "You're safe now."

The sudden brightness had brought a stark realness to what was happening. Annabelle started to tremble uncontrollably and said, "His parents…they did this, I know it…."

"Shhh, we'll take care of him," Dumbledore replied, then called for Madam Pomfrey, "Poppy!"

Madam Pomfrey was already on her way. She touched Annabelle's shoulder indicating for her to get out of the way, and Annabelle grabbed his rucksack and scrambled backwards, still on her knees. Professor McGonagall directed the students back inside the Great Hall, ordering a distressed Hagrid to keep them away from the door.

Annabelle sat watching, her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth as Madam Pomfrey did her best to examine him. Every time she'd touch him he'd yelp with pain. She used her wand to cut his coat and vest off of him and Dumbledore helped her remove the pieces of shorn fabric from his disfigured body. She also removed the cravat from his neck and made a tear along the shirt sleeve of the arm he kept holding.

After a quick examination, she said, "He has sustained multiple fractures and lacerations. There could be internal bleeding and swelling, clots, and possibly other trauma, so it's crucial we get him to St. Mungo's immediately."

"No…" Sirius groaned. "They'll look there… drag me back..."

"No one will do anything of the sort," Dumbledore assured him, as he stood up and did something Annabelle would have never guessed he was capable of; he leaned down, lifted Sirius off the floor and cradled him into his arms. "Please follow us, Poppy," he said. With a crack, they were gone.

Dumbledore must have lifted the anti-disapparition jinx for professors that were leaving for the break because Madam Pomfrey was about to follow him. Annabelle cried out, "Wait! Let me come too!"

Professor McGonagall nodded to the nurse and Annabelle flung Sirius' bag over her shoulders, holding on tightly to Madam Pomfrey's arm. She squeezed her eyes shut and they disappeared with a snap.

Again, Annabelle felt sick as they arrived at the entrance of St. Mungo's Hospital Emergency Room, this time from the side-along apparition. As she entered, she caught sight of Dumbledore carefully laying Sirius down onto a stretcher that had no wheels; it was just magically suspended in the air. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. There were two nurses attending him and then a healer appeared from behind a set of double doors. Madam Pomfrey had rushed over to give her report, and Annabelle followed her. She heard phrases like "respiratory rate," and "immediate priority" being thrown around between them which caused her irrepressible shaking to return. They led the stretcher into the trauma unit. Annabelle tried to go too, but was stopped by a nurse who told her someone would notify her of his progress.

Dumbledore spoke briefly to Madam Pomfrey before she exited the emergency room and disapparated, then he put his arm around Annabelle and led her to a large, pristine waiting area where several other distraught witches and wizards were seated.

Annabelle was in a full blown state of panic. "You didn't tell them his parents are the ones responsible, did you, sir? The authorities, they'll get involved and…"

"No, Annabelle, I did not," Dumbledore replied, forgetting formalities and calling her by her first name. "I told them it was a random attack. Sirius is sixteen. If he was younger I would be forced to tell the authorities, but as it stands, I think it is much safer for Sirius if we don't do anything until we talk to him. He is old enough to decide for himself if he wants to take action against his family, and I am presuming he won't."

"He won't."

"Now if he plans to return home again, that is a different story," Dumbledore continued. "I will be forced to intervene, even if it means involving the authorities. Not that it would do much good with a family of such influence." He paused briefly and sighed, then he said, "I will never understand the depraved inclination in some pureblood families to harm their own."

"Did they say he's going to be okay?" Annabelle asked in a frightened voice.

"They didn't tell me anything, but he is receiving the finest care available to him at the moment, so in all likelihood I would say yes."

The fear on his face told a different story. He stood up and began to pace slowly, his hands clasped behind his back. Annabelle felt like she was in the middle of one of her nightmares. She was starting to find it hard to breathe, and she wanted to go outside for some air.

Just then, Professor McGonagall entered the waiting room.

"Is there any news?" she asked Dumbledore.

"None," he replied. "He is currently being treated."

She shook her head quickly, then sat down next to Annabelle and put a hand over hers, sensing her distraught frame of mind.

"You must remain calm, dear," she said. "Panicking will not help matters."

"I need to go for a walk," Annabelle replied.

Before anyone could stop her she traipsed from the room, and down the hallway toward the exit doors. Then another thought occurred to her, and she turned to the reception desk where a young wizard was sitting.

"Can you direct me to the owlery please?"

James would certainly want to know if his best friend was hospitalised, as would his parents who loved Sirius better than his own parents had done. The receptionist directed her and she made her way through the halls, taking an enchanted lift to a draughty room near the roof of the hospital. The other people in the owlery appeared upset, one was even sobbing as she wrote, and she knew this was where witches and wizards came to send the worst kind of news. She almost left, not able to stand the horror of it, but she reminded herself that James and his parents would want to be informed of something this terrible happening to Sirius. She grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill from the counter and wrote:

**_Dear James,_ **

**_I am so sorry to alarm you, but Sirius was severely beaten and is currently at St. Mungo's receiving treatment._ **

She paused, hoping she had articulated the gravity of the situation, but words were failing her. The tears started falling, and she wiped her eyes to prevent them from dripping onto the paper, finishing as best as she could.

**_He is badly hurt and I thought you should know._ **

**_-Annabelle_ **

She wasn't sure if James was leaving for Coventry that day or the next, but it didn't matter. The owl would find him. She decided not to tell anyone else yet because Sirius might be cross if she started disturbing people with news he might not want to share. She wanted Lily to be there, for her own sake really, but her parents were muggles and would have no quick way to get her there, even if Sirius was able to give his permission for Annabelle to tell her.

After she sent the owl, she returned to the ground floor. Professor McGonagall was just exiting and Annabelle caught up to her.

"Professor, is there any news?" she asked, as she passed through the double doors with her into the cold night air.

Professor McGonagall frowned and said, "Nothing yet, I'm afraid. I am heading back to the castle right now to make sure everything is in order, but I will return later if you don't return first."

Annabelle watched her disappear with a crack, then she followed a path that led out to the street, sat down on a curb, and began to shake with sobs. Her thoughts were all over the place. One moment she was angry at him for going home in the first place after she'd practically begged him not to, the next moment she was kicking herself for being angry at him, and blaming herself for not doing something else to help him. She sat out there, torturing herself with what-ifs and if-onlys until the frigid air made her skin hurt.

She decided to go back to the emergency waiting area. Dumbledore was now in the hallway pacing, stopping frequently to look toward the trauma unit doors, his hands still clasped behind his back.

"Is there any news, sir?" she asked him.

"Not yet, my dear," he replied, again looking at the doors that Sirius had passed through over an hour before. Annabelle found a spot in the corridor a little closer to the trauma unit where she could keep watch on the doors in case the healer appeared again, took his rucksack off her back, and hugged it close as she leaned against the wall. It occurred to her then that the rucksack felt heavy but was nearly empty. She wondered if he'd left his belongings at his house.

Curiosity got the better of her, and she crouched down and peeked inside. She pulled out the clothes he'd been wearing when he left that morning and folded them neatly, resting them in her lap as she looked into the bag again. There were two newspapers, a pile of wizarding money which explained the weight of the bag, and a nearly empty Bertie Botts Beans box still holding the flavours no one wanted to eat. There were also six photographs. She was touched that he'd remembered them. Despite everything else he'd been going through, he still honoured Annabelle's request for pictures of him as a child.

She looked at the one on the top of the pile. It was a formal family portrait; Sirius looked to be about nine or ten years old, and she was struck by how much he looked like his brother and his father. His mother was similar with the dark hair and alabaster skin, but except for her gray eyes, her features were different somehow. She also noticed that none of them were smiling. In fact, the boys looked sad and defeated. A chill ran up her spine as she looked at the people that had brutalised their son, their spooky eyes staring back at her, and she shoved the pictures back into the bag. She wasn't sure she could stomach looking at them until she knew he was going to be okay.

She put his clothes and his newspapers back inside the rucksack and stood up, putting it over one shoulder. She figured he had left in a hurry and didn't have time to retrieve his belongings. Hopefully he hadn't left anything valuable or that he would need for school behind. Another thought occurred to her just then. Maybe he had purposely brought an empty bag because he'd known all along he wouldn't be staying. Maybe he'd thought this through.

A half hour later, the healer Annabelle recognized as the one who had brought Sirius into the trauma unit reappeared in the corridor and starting walking toward Dumbledore. She followed close behind, her heart pounding again. Healer Thomas Davies, as it identified him on his security tag, was young, probably only in his twenties, and he had a kind way about him. He spoke in a hushed tone.

"Good news," he said, immediately alleviating the gnawing dread that had been eating away inside her. "He's stable and it looks like he'll make a full recovery."

"That is good news, indeed," Professor Dumbledore replied.

"He was critical when he arrived," the healer continued. "This may not be easy to hear, but victims who sustain injuries of this nature and number are usually already deceased when they arrive here. He had multiples breakages and some severe internal bleeding and swelling."

Annabelle felt her stomach lurch at the talk of his injuries. What had he gone through… it was beyond anything she could rationally comprehend, nor could she fathom the soullessness of the monsters responsible.

"Can we see him, now?" Annabelle asked.

"He's currently sleeping," replied the healer, "and we'd like him to do so for as long as possible, but when he awakens we will be keeping him for observation for another hour or so at which point you may visit with him. Don't be alarmed when you see him; Essence of Dittany is used to heal lacerations and it is brown in colour. He has quite a bit of it on his face, but in a day or two, any signs of injury will have disappeared completely. Depending how he responds, and because there is a healer on staff at the school, he should be able to return with you tonight. He may have a touch of soreness for a day or two, but once the nerve damage is healed, he will feel much better."

"Thank you very much, young man," Dumbledore said to the healer as he shook his hand. "You do your profession proud."

Annabelle never ceased to be amazed by how quickly and efficiently wizarding medicine literally worked its magic. He looked almost dead two hours ago in the Hogwarts entrance hall. Now he was almost entirely healed. She had never been more thankful for magic than she was in that moment. Just then, she heard a familiar voice.

"Annabelle!"

James jogged toward her and straightaway pulled her in for a hug. Fresh tears spilled from her eyes; she felt so relieved to have a friend there.

"How is he?" James asked, as his parents spoke to Dumbledore and Healer Davies.

"He's okay now, but it was gruesome what they did…" she said, letting go of him and wiping her eyes.

"Can we see him?" he asked.

"The healer said he's sleeping… if you had seen what they did to him…It looked like they tried to kill him. Broken bones, cuts, blood everywhere…"

"I can only imagine; those fucking beasts," he said, blinking away the wetness in his eyes. "Poor kid can't catch a break with them, ever. In fact I feel like going to that bloody house right now and blasting their fucking heads off."

"Shhh," Annabelle said, pulling him aside. "Dumbledore told the healer and nurses it was a random attack. They don't know his parents did it, or else the authorities will get involved he'll have to face them again."

"That makes sense," he whispered. "God! I had a bad feeling all week that something was going to happen. He was acting strange about it, and when I asked him why he wouldn't just come home with me, he mentioned something about needing to 'rid himself of their influence once and for all.' He wouldn't talk about it anymore though. What in the bloody hell was he thinking!?"

Annabelle's brow knitted as she frowned.

"I don't know," she said, as she wiped her eyes again. "All I know is that he needs us to be strong, and I'm not feeling particularly strong right now."

James sighed, and put a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"You want to go get a cuppa?" he asked. "The fifth floor has a café."

Annabelle nodded and James called to his parents who were deep in conversation with Dumbledore and the healer, "We're going to get some tea. Be back in a bit."

As they drank their tea, they discussed what they knew of Sirius' parents, and the many violent ways they would have made the brutes pay for what they did had Sirius not recovered. James said that Sirius never talked too much about what went on at home, sometimes dropping hints about the nature of the abuse, but never elaborating on it, even though James could read between the lines.

"And all because he didn't see things their way," he said. "They cared so much about what other people thought of them that they almost killed their own son for being different."

"He told me his father preferred fists to wands, once," Annabelle recalled. "But then he told me it only happened once in a while."

"It only happened once in a while because he was only home once in a while," James replied. "He was at school or at my house most of the time. You can bet it happened every time he went home though."

"It's just so awful," Annabelle replied. "I can't imagine what he went through all these years."

When they were finished, they went into the gift shop. They were immediately drawn to a collection of Father Christmas figurines that were charmed to move when his nose was touched. Even more interesting was what Father Christmas was doing in all of them. In one he was bending over, showing his bare bum which emitted a rude noise, in another he was staggering around drunk with a bottle of fire whiskey, singing "I Saw Three Ships," and then there was one they liked best, Father Christmas on a broom getting hit in his belly with an attached Bludger. Every time the Bludger smacked him, Father Christmas would say, " _Bugger me_!"

"We must get that for him," James said with a grin.

Annabelle was about to agree, but the fact that Father Christmas was being hit by something and crying out just didn't seem funny in light of what just happened.

"But… isn't it a bit violent?" she asked. "I mean, he's getting hit."

"Maybe you're right," James agreed. "What about this one?"

He pointed to a Father Christmas that had a pair of red braces holding up his trousers. Annabelle touched its nose, which made Father Christmas snap his braces too hard, causing them to break and his trousers to fall down revealing undies with red lips all over them. Then Father Christmas gasped and exclaimed, _"Blimey, I've lost me britches!"_

"That's a good one. It will remind him of what I did to Snivellus last year," James snickered.

"It's a good one, but not for that reason."

James rolled his eyes. "Here we go," he said. "Yes, it was mean. But it was pretty funny that the git wasn't wearing trousers under his robe. And did you see his pants? Right foul they were. Come on, admit it was funny."

Annabelle had wondered about that at the time. She presumed Severus wanted to be comfortable for the exam; it was June after all and quite humid, and he probably wasn't expecting that someone would use his own spell against him, even if it had become a popular prank to play. But his undies had looked in need of a good washing, which made many of the students present for the prank laugh at him.

"Admit it," James ordered again.

"It was odd."

"It was _funny_. Say it."

Annabelle grinned and said, "All right, it was a teensy bit funny. But mostly not. Anyway, it doesn't matter what I think. If this gift makes Sirius smile, for whatever reason, then I am all for it."

"You thought that was funny? And I thought you were nice," James teased as he brought the figurine to the cashier. "That's cruel, Annabelle. Really cruel."

Annabelle gave an exaggerated sigh. "Come on. He may be awake now."

They rejoined Dumbledore and the Potters in the waiting area. Annabelle smiled and greeted James' parents politely, and they thanked her kindly for notifying them of the situation. Dumbledore made small talk with them, and James slouched in a chair and closed his eyes. Eventually, he started to nod off.

Annabelle sat a little ways away from them, pulled out Sirius' copy of the Daily Prophet from his rucksack and flipped through it, purposely avoiding the part about the dark wizard Voldemort's recent activity. She'd had enough horror for one day.

Mrs. Potter made her way over to her a few minutes later and sat down next to her. Annabelle didn't feel like talking, but when she saw Mrs. Potter's concerned expression, she softened toward the older witch and gave her a timid half-smile.

"How are you doing, dear?" she asked Annabelle.

It was one of those questions that people don't really want to know the answer to, but ask just for something to say. Despite just wanting to be alone with her thoughts, she abided Mrs. Potter's attempts at conversation, since she looked drawn and anxious, and was obviously worried about Sirius, too.

"I'm okay," Annabelle replied.

"You know, when we met you at Family Day, it was clear to us that you are very important to Sirius. I am so glad he has you in his corner."

Annabelle smiled in an attempt to mask her feeling of awkwardness and replied, "Well, he's important to me, too."

"I didn't realise they were capable of something this criminal," Mrs. Potter said. "I just wish I could have done more to help him."

"Me too," Annabelle responded. It was the thing she kept going over in her own mind; what else could she have done to protect him from the ruthless assault. She couldn't come up with anything short of hexing him and kidnapping him to India, which would have been very difficult to pull off anyway. He had been determined to face them, and no one was going to stop him.

Finally, an elderly, white-haired nurse appeared and notified them that Sirius was awake. Since he was in the intensive care unit, visitors would be limited to two at a time. James and Annabelle eagerly stood up and looked to Dumbledore and the Potters.

"I'm sure he'd prefer to see you two first," Mrs. Potter said. "Go on."

They walked anxiously behind the nurse who led them into the trauma unit where they heard moaning and wailing behind billowy white curtains, catching the occasional glimpse of an injured wizard or witch with healers waving wands over them and chanting complex incantations. They continued around a corner and through a door, then turned down a long white hallway. It was quiet except for the sounds of their shoes scuffing along the shiny floor and an occasional mumble of conversation from patients and their guests. The odor of healing potions and balms was pungent and made Annabelle's nose tingle. As she passed the rooms of other patients, the nervous feeling in her stomach grew stronger. She still had the image of him in the entrance hall covered in bruises and blood seared into her brain, and even though she knew he had been healed physically, she had no idea what his emotional state would be.

"Try not to cry in front of him, okay?" James said.

Annabelle leered at him and retorted, "I wasn't planning to."

"All I mean is that if you get all emotional then it will only upset him," James explained.

"Point taken, _boss,_ " she snapped. "And thank you for the heads up. As though I needed it."

"Girls are so bloody sensitive," he murmured under his breath.

Sirius' room was at the end of the hall, and James and Annabelle held back while the nurse popped in to speak to him. Annabelle could tell James was feeling nervous too.

"Mr. Black, you have some visitors here to see you," she said. "I'll be just down the hall if you need anything." Then she bustled off to her station.

Annabelle leaned around the door frame and peeked in warily, and James, who was a good bit taller, got on his tip toes and peeked his head in above Annabelle's.

Sirius was propped up in the hospital bed and resting on his side, facing the door. His stoic expression instantly turned into a smile when he saw them peeping in at him. Annabelle's heart gave a leap at the sight of him, despite the unsettling brown splotches of the healing potion covering his wounds.

He sat up a bit straighter when they entered. The cuts on his face already looked partially healed. Annabelle wanted to leap on him and squeeze him and cover him with kisses, but instead she bent to gently hug him and gave him a peck on a Dittany-free part of his cheek. Its odour was powerful and she sneezed three times in quick succession as she took a seat. James had gone round to the other side of the bed where there was another chair.

"Bless you," the boys said at the same time as they exchanged a macho handshake that consisted of slapping the backs of their hands together, then their palms, ending with a quick shake and a squeeze before snapping their hands back. Merlin forbid boys actually hug.

"Thank you," she said.

He turned to James and asked, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Coventry by now?"

"We're leaving tomorrow," he said. "Annabelle sent an owl telling us what happened. My parents are outside with Dumbledore."

"That's really nice of them," Sirius said, clearly moved by their concern.

An uncomfortable silence ensued then, since neither Annabelle nor James knew what to say. They looked at each other nervously, hoping the other would speak first, and Sirius looked from Annabelle to James, then back to Annabelle.

"We can talk about it, you know… it's fine," Sirius said. "I'm not going freak out or anything."

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat and stayed quiet. Annabelle took a deep breath to steady herself.

"I guess I'm just wondering why they did it," she said timidly, still not able to understand his parents' extreme and barbaric behaviour.

Sirius looked down at his hands. "It's just what they do…. They had reached their breaking point with me, as I had with them."

"Did you know something like this was going to happen?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "I had an idea. I hoped they wouldn't take it this far, but…."

He trailed off and Annabelle glanced at James again. He was staring off into space, absently biting a fingernail. She looked back to Sirius.

"You were so determined to go home, even though you knew they would hurt you. I don't understand why."

Sirius held out his hand and she took it. He gave her hand a squeeze and tried to explain.

"They were never going to let me be, Annie. They would have continued to check up on me, hound me, question me…. They'd have continued punishing me if I didn't give them a reason to disown me. Once the Black family renounces you, you are out for good. There is no looking back."

"So you gave them a reason?"

"I did," he replied matter-of-factly. "They issued a final ultimatum and I refused it."

"What was the final ultimatum?" she asked, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

He averted his eyes from her, and swallowed hard. His hesitation told her everything she needed to know.

"They told you to stop seeing me," she said. "And you refused so they attacked you and…and they almost bloody killed you."

He sighed sadly and frowned, looking down at her hand in his. Then he looked her in the eyes.

"Yes," he responded. "But Annabelle, it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I wanted to be free of them. In a way, you actually helped me to stand my ground. I might have caved if it was anything else, but I wasn't willing to give you up…."

"I would never have spoken a word to you in September if I'd known you were going to be bludgeoned nearly to death for it," she said, struggling to remain calm. "You could have died…."

"I told you already, if not you, it would have been something else," he said, becoming flustered. "Don't you get it? There would always have been something. I can't be what they wanted me to be. Their beliefs are _revolting,_ and they never cared about me… they didn't love me… I just wanted to be free of them..." He stopped himself as his voice caught. His eyes grew misty and a tear escaped down his potion-covered cheek.

"Well… _we_ love you," Annabelle said softly. " _We_ care about you."

She recalled James' warning about not crying in front of him, and she looked to the bossy nail-biter again, wishing he would say something to break the tension. She was surprised to see that he had tears in his eyes and his chin was quivering ever so slightly as he continued gnawing on his fingernails. He hadn't spoken because he was willing himself not to cry.

Seeing James like that pushed her over the edge and she put her hands over her face. The tears spilled out as she sobbed quietly. In response, James took his glasses off, leaned over and hung his head down, not able to control his emotions any longer. His shoulders shook as a small whimper escaped him and he sniffled loudly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

Sirius looked at the both of them and slowly his frown turned to a wry smile.

"What are you like, you sappy saps?" he said, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Merlin, pull yourselves together!"

Annabelle took her hands off her tear-streaked face and glared at him, but couldn't repress the urge to smile a little when she saw the look on his face.

"You lost the ability to glare at me long ago, Annie, so stop trying already," he quipped.

James leaned back in his chair, and looked toward the ceiling. He was breathing deeply in an attempt to regain his composure.

Sirius said to him, "Come on, mate, I hate to see you like this."

James gaped at him angrily and snapped, "And I hate to see _you_ like _this_! When we got that owl I thought we'd be going to your funeral, you nutcase!"

Sirius flinched slightly, then looked at James like he was trying not laugh at him. Annabelle stiffened as James narrowed his eyes at Sirius. There was tense pause, then Sirius grinned.

An instant later, the boys both started laughing. She exhaled in relief; she just couldn't handle any more tension.

James wiped his eyes and put his glasses back on. Then he said, "Just don't ever do this again, okay?"

"Hmm, I don't think that will be a problem," Sirius replied with a chuckle.

"We've brought you something from the gift shop," James said.

Annabelle grinned as James handed him the bag.

Sirius pulled out the figurine and said sarcastically, "A figure of Father Christmas. How heart-warming."

"Touch his nose," Annabelle said, smiling in anticipation.

Sirius did and when Father Christmas dropped his britches, he burst out laughing. "I think we should give this to Snivellus," he said, as he touched its nose again.

He and James started shaking with laughter, and Annabelle knew it was because they were recalling Severus' astonishing lack of trousers under his robes and the saggy, greying undies he'd been wearing. Annabelle tried not to laugh, but their laughter was so infectious that she couldn't help it.

"Your girlfriend is so mean," James exclaimed between laughing jags. "She laughs… she laughs at poor Snivellus!"

Sirius, who was laughing so hard he could barely speak, declared, "I knew I fancied her for a reason!

Annabelle was happy to see him acting like himself. He seemed elevated somehow, like a burden had been lifted. She was seeing a silver lining, and for the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to feel hopeful.

"Maybe we can buy Severus some kissy lip undies to wear under his robe," she chimed in. "They can be a peace offering from James... a belated Christmas gift." They all crumpled over in fits, laughing themselves silly.


	42. Interference

It was after midnight when Sirius was released. Annabelle gave him his rucksack which held the clothes he had been wearing when he'd left for home, and she was delighted to see him reemerge looking even more like himself.

He was still feeling rather sore, and he was told not to wash his face until morning. Unfortunately, his wand was inside his dress robe, which he'd left on the ground in front of his parents' house and he certainly wasn't going back to retrieve it. He would have to make a trip to Diagon Alley some time before January. Pity, he thought to himself. Now he'd have to get used to a new one.

Professor McGonagall had returned to check his status and was moved to hug him when she saw him. Mrs. Potter had wanted to take him home with them, but the healer had been clear that because Hogwarts had a trained healer on staff, it was currently the best place for him. He was under strict orders to get some rest.

They said goodbye to James and his parents outside the emergency room. Mrs. Potter promised to have all of James' friends over soon, and she made sure to impress upon Sirius that their home was now his. Even though James knew how to apparate already, his father made him side-along it, since it was the legal way. Ever the jokester, he clutched his father round the shoulders and cried out _"DADDY!"_ in mock terror before they disappeared with a pop, causing Sirius and Annabelle to laugh. Even Professor McGonagall smirked ever so slightly before shaking her head in disapproval.

Sirius wasn't thrilled about having to side-along apparate either, and as Dumbledore put a secure arm around him, he looked at Annabelle and rolled his eyes before they disappeared.

Annabelle, on the other hand, had no pride to swallow in the area of apparition, since she hadn't mastered it yet. Most of her peers hadn't. She grabbed onto Professor McGonagall's arm and before she knew it, she was in the Gryffindor common room.

"All right then, lad," said Dumbledore, "I think it's best if you follow Healer Davies' orders and get some rest. It's been a long day."

"I will," Sirius said. "And thank you, sir, for being there today."

"There is no need for thanks, son," Dumbledore replied. "I would like to see you tomorrow in my office after lunch. How is one o'clock?"

"One o'clock it is, sir," Sirius responded.

Sirius knew Dumbledore wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him. Normally he'd have been put off by such a thing, but after what he'd just gone through, he didn't mind so much.

"Professor, get some rest," Dumbledore said to McGonagall. "I will make the rounds. Good night, all. Pleasant dreams."

They said goodnight to Dumbledore and he left, but Professor McGonagall just stood there, hands on her hips. They stared back at her uneasily, wondering why she hadn't gone.

"You heard the headmaster," she said. "It's very late. Up the stairs with both of you."

"Yes, ma'am," they said, and turned toward their dorms. Just before they got to the stairs, they glanced at each other and Sirius mouthed the words _"five minutes."_

Annabelle gave a discreet wink to let him know she understood. Five minutes later, she tiptoed back down and peeked into the common room to make sure Professor McGonagall had left. She looked toward the boys' staircase and Sirius peeked out at her. They smiled at each other, and stepped into the common room, heading straight into each other's arms. The healing potion was fading from his face, and she did what she'd been longing to do since she knew he was okay; she covered his face in kisses, careful to avoid what now looked like some minor scratches.

He groaned slightly, and she loosened her grip. "I'm sorry… You're still sore. I'm just so happy you're here in one piece."

He pulled her back to him tightly. "I can deal with the pain of a hug from you."

"It must have been awful," she said as she held onto him, stroking the back of his head. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

They stood like that for a moment, not speaking, just holding each other close. She wanted to take away all the hurt he'd endured, yet she knew that was impossible. Eventually, she released him since he was probably tired, and she was too.

"I'm just glad to be here with you," he said as he held her hands. "I get you to myself for the entire break."

"Can't say I'm not pleased about that myself. But you should get some rest, now. Healer's orders."

Sirius felt despair beginning to nudge at him. He really didn't want to be alone right then, because being alone meant remembering the nightmare of earlier. It always took him a few days to shake the feeling of that house and its darkness. Even though he knew rationally that he would never have to go back there, the suffering that it held would never leave him completely. Annabelle had been through so much for him already, though, and she looked knackered, so he decided not to burden her anymore for the night.

"I'm sorry I put you through all this, Annabelle," he said somberly. "I wish I could have spared you… But it's over now, for good."

She hugged him again. "You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing at all."

He gave her one last squeeze and said, "All right, then. Get some sleep, my love. I'll see you in the morning."

"Will you be all right?" she asked. She didn't feel good about leaving him alone. He looked so dejected and to think of him going through what he did just to go up to a cold, empty room with no one for company made her heart hurt.

"Yep," he replied. "I've got the room to myself. Which means peace and quiet, and a minimum of bad smells for a change."

Annabelle grinned and wrinkled her nose. "Good night, Sirius. Sleep as long as you need to. I'll be here when you wake up."

They let go of each other's hands and returned to their dorms. Sirius had a difficult time falling asleep. The image of his father's enraged face hovering over him kept materialising every time he closed his eyes, and along with it came the walking stick and the repeated agonising blows that had left his body broken. He discovered quickly that he didn't like the emptiness of the room, as it meant he'd be forced to face his family in his mind, again and again, all by himself. He felt himself breaking out in a cold sweat, unable to ward off the demons that haunted him.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

As tired as Annabelle was, the guilt of leaving him alone was eating away at her. She wondered if she was overthinking it. Maybe he was sound asleep and she was worrying for nothing. Merlin, how she wished she was a Legilimens; not to invade his thoughts but just to get an inkling of how he was feeling when they'd said goodnight, and if he'd welcome a visit from her or not. She decided to not to chance it. Oddly enough, she wasn't afraid of getting caught, but she didn't know for sure which room was his, and she didn't want to go shining a light around in case Nico woke up. Besides, she didn't want to disturb him if he was asleep already. He needed to rest.

She woke up around half past eight, and even though she still felt tired, she couldn't sleep another wink. She took a shower, got dressed and ready for the day, and headed downstairs to the common room to look for Sirius. He wasn't there yet, so she grabbed a book and sprawled out on the sofa. Eventually the warmth of the fire caused her to doze off again.

Soon after Annabelle fell asleep, Sirius came downstairs. He thought she looked extremely comfortable stretched out on her back and he hated to wake her. He noticed her sweater had risen above the waistband of her jeans, exposing a tiny glimpse of her bare skin, and he suddenly felt the urge to kiss it. He resisted though, mostly because he knew that if he did, she would startle and wake the dead with her scream. Instead, he went to a window and looked out over the frozen, snow-covered grounds.

Moments later, the portrait hole opened and Nico entered, slamming the painting shut behind him and awakening Annabelle. He stalked through the room and up the stairs to the boys' dorms without a word to either of them.

She sat up and said to Sirius, "Why didn't you wake me?"

"People sleep for a reason, Annie," he replied. "You clearly needed it."

She smiled at him and opened her arms. "Come here, my darling."

And he did, holding her and kissing her forehead as she snuggled up to him, her head on his chest.

"It feels like yesterday we were sitting here, in this very same position," he teased. "Oh, right, it was yesterday."

"Why, yes it was," she replied. "How did you sleep?"

"Quite well," he replied. It wasn't entirely untrue. Once he actually fell asleep he'd slept deeply and dreamlessly.

"I almost went to find you last night," she said. "I didn't think you should be alone."

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to disturb you."

"Annabelle. Do you really think you'd have disturbed me?"

She shrugged. "I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter because I don't know which room is yours. I didn't want to wake Nico while looking for you."

"My room is the one above Johnny B.'s. You've been in there before haven't you?"

"Once or twice," she said. "Still sore?"

"A bit, but I could play Quidditch if I had to, so it's not that bad."

"The Quidditch Scale for Pain Assessment," she replied. "Level one, can play Quidditch all day."

"Level ten, can't even think about playing Quidditch," he joked. "I'm at about a three, I'd say. Quidditch for a couple hours. But no more."

"You and your Quidditch," she said, as she looked up at his face, tracing the faded line across his forehead with her forefinger. "Your scratches are barely noticeable. Probably be gone entirely by tomorrow."

"Just in time for Christmas Eve."

She brought his forehead to her lips, kissing the mark softly in an attempt to cancel out the pain he'd felt there. He closed his eyes. She continued to the one on the bridge of his nose, then to the scratch on his cheek, and ended at the one on the corner of his mouth, where she lingered momentarily until his lips parted and consumed hers.

Barely a minute had passed when Twyla and Zelda entered the common room. Sirius and Annabelle stopped kissing, and Sirius sighed in annoyance as the girls approached them. They smiled awkwardly like they wanted to say something, but were too shy to speak in front of Sirius.

"Are you all right?" Annabelle asked them, feeling something between irritated and amused by them.

"Yeah, we're grand," Zelda replied with a giggle.

They stood there smirking and gawkily fidgeting while exchanging nervous glances with each other.

"Oh, right, sorry," Annabelle said absently. "Sirius, this is Zelda and Twyla."

He gave a little wave and said, "Pleased to meet you. I'm Sirius."

"We know who you are," Zelda snorted. "You're her boyfriend."

Sirius pretended to be surprised and said, "Really? I am? Wow, that's great news. Did you hear that Annie?"

The girls giggled while Sirius and Annabelle regarded them impatiently, wondering what they wanted.

"Do you need something?" Annabelle asked.

"Em, no," Zelda replied. "Professor McGonagall said if you were awake to come to the Great Hall for breakfast."

"Yeah," said Twyla. "There's still some left for you."

Sirius stood up, took Annabelle's hand, and pulled her around the girls to the portrait hole.

"I wasn't sure I could make it until lunch," he said. "All I've had to eat since breakfast yesterday were some Bertie Botts and a chocolate frog on the train, and a few bites of mushy peas at dinner time."

Zelda and Twyla followed them, just as Annabelle expected they would. She was too hungry to care and was glad to know that there was still food available despite them sleeping through breakfast.

"Why didn't you eat all day yesterday?" Zelda asked, feeling brave enough to speak to Sirius directly now that they'd been formally introduced.

"Was riding the underground around London during lunch time, then my jaw hurt too much to eat dinner."

Annabelle turned back and shot the girls a look of warning to be quiet or else. She knew they were curious about what happened the night before; they had most likely glimpsed him in the wretched state he'd arrived in before being sent back inside the Great Hall. The girls complied. They were wise enough to know that if they ticked off Annabelle then she would tell them to get lost, and they were having way too much fun hanging out with her, and now, her boyfriend.

After they'd stuffed themselves with food, Sirius asked, "So now what happens?"

The girls shrugged and Annabelle said, "Now you can do whatever you want."

"Want to play Exploding Snap?" Zelda asked eagerly.

Annabelle was about to say no bloody way, but Sirius said, "Sure, why not. Just prepare yourselves to lose."

Halfway through the game, an owl winged its way overhead dropping an envelope and a wand in front of Sirius. He picked up the wand and inspected it, then glanced apprehensively at Annabelle and opened the letter. He held it between them so she could read it too.

**_You are lucky I found this first or else you'd be out of a wand. They meant what they said, so don't try to come back. Farewell, brother._ **

Sirius balled the paper up and with a flick of his wand said, " _Evanesco_ ," making the letter disappear. "Pompous git," he muttered.

"Now you don't have to go to Ollivander's and get used to a new wand," Annabelle said.

"Eh, I wouldn't have cared either way," he replied.

Annabelle could tell his brother's letter and deed had affected him, but with the first-years right there waiting to pounce on even a crumb of gossip, she thought it best not to talk about it. Instead, they finished their game; Sirius won of course, and made a big deal of rubbing it in their faces. Zelda and Twyla thought this was funny and wanted a rematch.

"Count me out," Annabelle said. "This game does my head in."

"Yeah, I think I'll quit while I'm ahead," Sirius replied.

"So what should we do now then?" Twyla asked.

"Maybe you should find Nico and see if he wants to play," suggested Annabelle, hoping the girls would take a hint and go elsewhere for their entertainment for a while.

"No way," said Zelda. "That numpty got terribly cross with us this morning. Told us to sod off."

"Why on earth would anyone tell you that?" asked Sirius, the subtle sarcasm in his words prompting Annabelle to nudge his knee with hers.

"Don't know," said Twyla innocently. "All we did was ask him why he was being so dull."

"And he ran off," Zelda added. "So bloody rude."

"Hmm, wonder what his problem is," Annabelle said.

Professor McGonagall appeared and told them Hagrid had found some baby puffskeins, the cutest magical creatures in existence, and if they wanted to, they could go take a look before he brought them to the Magical Menagerie to be sold. Annabelle had a plush one as a child, being told by her grandfather that it was pretend. It had been one of the highlights of her first year at Hogwarts when she found out they were indeed real.

Zelda and Twyla bolted to get their coats and went straight to visit Hagrid, but Annabelle decided to find Nico to see if he wanted to join them. He wasn't in the common room. While Annabelle went to get her coat and hat, Sirius went up to his room to find something warm to put over him. He was pleasantly surprised to find his winter coat, all repaired and clean hanging on a wall hook. He grabbed it and headed to the fourth year dorms to find Nico. He was curled up on his bed, wide awake.

"Knock knock," said Sirius, since the door was open.

Nico sat up and grimaced at him. "Can I help?"

"Um, no. I just came to let you know that we're going to see some puffskein babies if you'd like to join us."

"Not interested, thanks," Nico sneered.

"Come on, you know you want to. Cute ickle fuzzy things-"

"BUGGER OFF."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Harsh words, mate," he replied. "I should wash your mouth out with soap."

Nico scowled at him and Sirius felt sorry for the kid. He wasn't sure what his story was, but clearly he was unhappy.

"Right," he said. "We'll be at Hagrid's in case you change your mind. I'm buggering off now."

Annabelle looked concerned when he came back down the stairs without Nico.

Sirius shrugged and said, "Little shit told me to bugger off."

"What's got into him?" Annabelle asked. "He was so normal yesterday."

"Don't know, but I don't think now is the time to talk to him about it. Let's go. The puffskeins are calling."

Annabelle's eyes lit up with excitement. "Not just puffskeins. _Baby_ puffskeins. The ultimate in squishy adorableness."

"I thought that was me," he teased, slipping his hands around her waist and down her backside as he guided her to the arm of the sofa where she plunked down. She rested her chin on his abdomen and looked up at him, hugging him close as he ran his hands through her hair.

"My mistake. They don't hold a candle to your squishy adorableness," she replied.

"I've been wanting to do this all morning," he said.

He led her down onto the sofa and climbed on top of her. His lips met hers, then his tongue, and as the kiss deepened, he noticed she tasted faintly of the strawberry jam from breakfast. She gasped softly as she felt his hands travel up underneath her sweater. Suddenly they heard footsteps coming from the boys' staircase. Sirius acted quickly, rolling onto the floor and landing with a thud.

"Ouch," he muttered, trying not to laugh.

"You're still here," Nico said as he came round the front of the sofa. "Thought you were going to see the baby puffskeins."

"I was feeling a bit lightheaded, so I thought I'd rest for moment," Annabelle said.

"And I thought I'd wait for her," replied Sirius, who had parked himself casually on the floor with his back against the sofa as if he'd been sitting there the entire time.

"Well, I changed my mind," Nico said. "I want to see them. And I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier."

"Not a problem," Sirius said, then turned his head toward Annabelle. "You feeling better? Still want to see them?"

"Sure, why not?" she said, even though she kind of wanted to stay there alone with Sirius.

They put on their coats and headed out to Hagrid's hut with Nico. When they arrived, Zelda and Twyla were each holding one of the babies in the palms of their hands.

"They are so tiny!" Annabelle squealed.

Hagrid held out a basket where there were two more, and Annabelle and Nico took one each.

"Aren't you darling?" Annabelle said to the tiny little fluff ball that blinked up at her. Then it rolled over, still looking at her. Sirius reached over and gave it a gentle scratch which made it purr.

"What happened to their mother?" Annabelle asked.

Hagrid shook his head sadly and replied, "Not sure exactly. Found 'em in the forest, cryin' an hungry. Their mum most likely abandoned 'em or got killed. Happens like that sometimes, poor little things."

"How awful," Twyla said. "They have no mum."

"Join the club, little puffskein," Annabelle murmured and Sirius gave her back a comforting rub.

"Yeah, our parents are off in Majorca for Christmas," said Zelda. "No kids allowed. Guess we're a bit like these puffskeins, too. Nico, where's your parents?"

"None of your bloody business, that's where!" he exploded.

"You told me your parents were aurors on a secret mission in Outer Mongolia," said Twyla. "Telling chinnies, you are!"

"I didn't say that, you wee gobshite!" Nico growled.

"Did too!" exclaimed Twyla.

Hagrid looked alarmed and said, "All right there, Nico, don' get excited. Every one of us here can relate to these baby puffskeins in some way or another. It's nothin' to be ashamed of."

Just when it looked like Nico might start crying, the puffskein he was holding shot out its long tongue and began licking his nose.

"Blech," Nico said.

"Don't worry, it's jus' lookin' for bogeys," explained Hagrid. "They're great for when ye have a cold. Clean yer nose right out."

There was a pause in which they all exchanged disturbed glances. Sirius said, "That's quite nasty, really," and everyone burst out laughing at the strange and disgusting behavior of the little creatures. Even Hagrid smiled a little, but he didn't seem to think it was all that odd.

When the Ravenclaw girls arrived for their turn, the five Gryffindors trudged back to the castle through the snow. After lunch, it was time for Sirius to meet with Dumbledore, and Annabelle was roped into leafing through _Siren_ magazine for pictures of pretty hair styles and make up demos with Zelda and Twyla. Zelda wanted to try them out on Annabelle.

"Are you mad?" Annabelle asked. "You think I'm going to trust you with make up?"

"We know what we're doing," Zelda replied. "Trust us."

Annabelle figured she could always reverse the damage afterwards, and let them use her as their model.

"We're going to do the Lady Guinevere on you. It will be stunning," Zelda informed her. Her sincerity was sweet, and Annabelle held the magazine for them so they could refer to it as they attempted the hairstyle. If they were successful, her hair would be huge when they were finished, full of massive curls streaming down her back and a complicated, reverse French-plait over the top of her head. It was ridiculous, really. Annabelle could see how eleven-year-olds might think it pretty, but it was actually quite over-the-top as an everyday hairstyle.

"She looks like she's been electrocuted," Annabelle remarked, causing the girls to giggle as they used a combination of hairbrushes, combs, and wands to imitate the picture. The wands made Annabelle particularly nervous.

"I'm going to start on her make-up," Zelda said, opening a bulging silver pouch splotched with lipstick and mascara streaks. "We're doing the Disco Goddess."

"Wow. That's a lot of make-up," Annabelle said, looking at the witch with the thick layer of light blue eye-shadow painted up to her eyebrows and eyelashes like black spider legs.

They had nearly completed their masterpiece when Sirius returned.

"Wait! Don't look!" Twyla called.

Sirius covered his eyes. "What am I not looking at?"

Zelda held up a mirror to Annabelle.

"You might want to keep your eyes covered," Annabelle replied.

"Now I _must_ see," he said and uncovered his eyes. He instantly snorted with laughter, and Annabelle started laughing too, much to Zelda and Twyla's dismay.

"What in the world have they done to you?"

"She looks like Lady Guinevere!" exclaimed Zelda.

"Yeah, if Lady Guinevere was part clown and caught in a windstorm," he replied. "Her hair is almost bigger than she is!"

"No, it's not," said Twyla petulantly.

"All right, it's not so bad," Annabelle reassured them as she stood up. "If only I had a gold lamé jumpsuit and some platform shoes. A little much for dinner in the Great Hall though. I'm going to make myself look normal again."

"That's a shame," Sirius said. "I'd have loved to see the looks on the professors' faces if you showed up like that."

"Not going to happen," Annabelle replied and disappeared up the stairs.

A few minutes later, with the help of her hairbrush, her wand, and some soap, she looked like herself again. Sirius was leaning against the back of the sofa waiting for her.

"Ah, there's the gorgeous girl I know and love," he said. "I must say though, I wish I'd got a picture of what they did to you."

"The horror," Annabelle replied with a shudder.

Sirius laughed and pulled her toward the portrait hole. "Let's go before they come back. I told them Madam Pomfrey needed their help in the hospital wing."

"Where are we going?"

"Just for a walk," he said, a sly grin playing at his lips.

As they wandered through the deserted corridors, Sirius filled her in on his conversation with Dumbledore. Apparently the Potters had insisted on covering him financially until graduation, even afterwards if he needed it. Sirius didn't want to accept. He hated being treated like a charity case. But it was already done; the Potters made it clear to Dumbledore that they wouldn't take no for an answer.

Dumbledore also expressed his sincerest apologies for not acting on his suspicions sooner, to which Sirius assured him there was nothing he could have done. He told Sirius that he was safe at Hogwarts, and that his door was always open to him if he ever was in need, or just wanted to talk.

"That was sweet of him," Annabelle replied.

"Yeah, I know he means well, but I can't see myself going up there to pour my heart out if you know what I mean."

"It's still nice to have his support, no? And the Potters' as well."

"Yes, it's quite nice," he replied, stopping in a corner at the end of a dim hallway and wrapping his arms around her. "Now, enough about me. Let's talk about you, and how I can't seem to get you alone even though the castle is mostly empty."

"It's only the first day," Annabelle said bashfully. "We have time."

Sirius didn't respond because he was already kissing her neck, and she pushed her fingers deep through the roots of his thick, soft hair. He ran his hands down the front of her body, stopping at the pockets of her jeans and pulling her hips firmly against his. He knew she was nervous about taking things too far, which was why he'd brought her to a quiet hallway instead of up to his bed, but at that moment, he wished he'd at least suggested it, because the urge to be with her was so strong he could hardly stand it.

Annabelle felt the same longing, though she fought to stay in control of her impulses. It was getting more and more difficult to do so, not only because he was so persistent, but because he was utterly irresistible. Their lips met and she felt his hand slide inside the back of her jeans. Her whole body tingled and she felt her resolve start to crumble. What was it she was afraid of? She wasn't sure she had an answer to that question anymore. She was about to return the gesture when they were interrupted.

"Oi! There you are!" Zelda's voice rang out from the other end of the unlit hallway. "What are you doing all the way over there in the dark?"

"Merlin! Do they ever go away?" Sirius snapped as he and Annabelle quickly regained their self-control and stepped out into the corridor.

"Just having a walk," Annabelle called down to them. "Back from helping Madam Pomfrey already?"

"She didn't call for us," said Twyla as they quickly approached, a glint of suspicion in her eyes. She pointed at Sirius and said, "He lied."

Sirius laughed a little, even though these girls were doing his head in. He wished he could send them on a one-way floo trip to Majorca to join their parents.

"Professor McGonagall asked for you," Zelda said. "She needs your help sorting through some old files."

Annabelle and Sirius reluctantly reported to Professor McGonagall's office, feeling defeated. They spent the next two hours there, only being freed because it was dinner time. After dinner they were asked to help stuff stockings in Filch's office. They were just a token gift for the students staying for the break, filled with sweets and other bits and bobs, just in case there were kids that received nothing from their families, but it was a nice gesture anyway. When they got back to the common room, there was a game of Catch the Snitch going on between the girls and Nico. They hadn't noticed them enter the room until the Snitch flew past Annabelle and she caught it in one effortless motion.

"Where'd you get this?" she asked.

"It's mine," Nico said. "And no, I didn't nick it."

"Didn't think you did," Annabelle replied as she tossed it back into the air.

Sirius and Annabelle sat on opposite ends of the sofa while the game continued, her feet tickling his as he gazed at her and smiled. Eventually, everyone went to bed. Sirius had been having a hard time keeping his eyes open, so Annabelle decided to stay out of the boys' dorm. No, it was better she stay where she was, even though she was feeling a bit lonely and knew he wouldn't object to her company.

Meanwhile, Sirius was wondering if she'd pay him a visit. He doubted it very much, and he gave in to the pull of sleep more quickly than the night before, his night terrors gradually giving way to dreams of Annabelle's soft lips, her breath on his neck, and her bare skin pressed against his.

 


	43. Knock Knock

When Annabelle entered the common room the morning of Christmas Eve, Sirius was slouched in one of the big armchairs looking a bit fed up, while Zelda and Twyla sat on the sofa telling him one knock-knock joke after the other. The radio that had been charmed years ago by some former students to pick up a couple muggle stations was blasting. A song called "Merry Christmas Everybody" was playing and the girls were sort of bouncing and swaying to the music as they talked. Sirius, on the other hand, was not moving. Annabelle sat down on the arm of his chair and noticed his face was completely healed. She ran her hand over his forehead and smoothed his hair back from his eyes. He took her hand kissed it.

"Knock knock," Zelda said.

"Who's there?" Sirius replied in a bored voice.

"A little old lady."

"A little old lady who?"

"I didn't know you could yodel!" Zelda exclaimed and she and Twyla contorted in giggles. Sirius didn't laugh. Annabelle could see he'd reached his limit with them already and it was only morning.

Nico came downstairs then, and on his way to the to the portrait hole he said, "Knock knock?"

"Who's there?" the giddy girls asked in unison.

"Shut the hell up," he replied and slammed the portrait behind him.

Sirius and Annabelle snickered at Nico's joke, but Zelda and Twyla didn't find it amusing.

"He's so rude!" exclaimed Zelda.

"Right, well, it's breakfast time," said Annabelle. "What are you two still doing here?"

"We were waiting for you," said Twyla.

"Oh," replied Annabelle. But of course they were. "Let's go then."

Sirius sighed and stood up, slinging an arm around Annabelle's shoulder and pulling her over for a quick peck on her head as they walked out.

"Do you think we could get the vanishing spell to work on them?" he whispered into her ear.

She laughed and replied, "Don't know, but it's worth a shot."

When they sat down to breakfast, Nico was sitting across from Veronica discussing professional Quidditch. Sirius, whose ears were fine-tuned to any mention of the game, instantly joined the conversation.

Annabelle had no idea what they were talking about since she didn't pay any attention to the sport aside from playing it, so she quietly took some porridge and looked around the table for the strawberry jam. She couldn't eat porridge without a spoonful of jam, because that was how she and her grandfather ate it almost every winter morning of her childhood. The jam was near Veronica and she hated to interrupt their heated debate over which team deserved to win the national championship last year, but she needed it.

She gently nudged Sirius to get his attention, but before she could ask him to pass it, he reached for it and handed it to her. He looked at her intently with his stormy eyes and said, "Your favourite."

Her heart swelled with so much love for him in that moment that she thought it might burst. And all because he knew what she required without her asking.

"No, you're my favourite," she replied softly.

He gazed into her eyes just long enough to elicit a blush from her before she grinned and looked away. In response, he leaned in and gave her cheek a tender kiss, then he turned back to his conversation.

Zelda and Twyla had observed the exchange and giggled. Annabelle's grin faded, but she didn't she let them bother her. They couldn't help being annoying; it was the nature of the eleven-year-old beast.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That same morning, Lily sat at the kitchen table eating her cereal and looking at the local newspaper. She wasn't actually reading it. She was using it to avoid engaging with her sister, Petunia, who had just entered the room. They had not really spoken since she'd arrived two days before, besides some forced and uncomfortable small talk.

Petunia had moved to London earlier that year to take a clerical course. Lily had been secretly envious that her sister was living in London, until she found out from her mum that Petunia had been calling daily and crying from homesickness. She'd have never survived at Hogwarts, Lily mused, considering she'd have been eleven when she'd left home instead of nineteen. How much would she have cried then?

Now, she was home from London for a week, and her new boyfriend of about a month, a young man named Vernon would be coming round for dinner that night before heading to his own family's home about an hour away. Lily couldn't believe she'd invited him for Christmas Eve already. How much could her sister have learnt about him in one month's time? What if he was insane? She'd have to remember to keep her wand close.

Lily knew things would feel strained between her and Petunia. They had always been opposites. Petunia was prideful, uptight, and quite severe in her opinions and manner, while Lily was friendly, unpretentious, and accepting of others for the most part. Sadly, Petunia was bitterly jealous of her little sister's magical gift, but to save her pride, she pretended to be frightened and disgusted by her powers. Eventually, she was no longer pretending.

When things began to change between them, it made Lily anxious and sad. Petunia would feign disinterest in her world, but would snoop around, listening in on conversations with her first magical friend, Severus Snape. Petunia even occasionally read letters from her school friends before Lily had the chance. The worst was when she'd caught her reading a diary she'd been keeping while in her third year at school. Sure, it was just a thirteen-year-old's diary, full of dramatic ramblings and silliness, but when Lily walked into her room to find Petunia sitting on her bed with the diary open, she felt violated and mortified. She told her sister that she hated her, and that she wished she had a better sister. The next day she'd apologised for the comments; she truly felt awful for what she said, but Petunia never apologised for invading her privacy. Petunia never apologised for anything.

Her bitterness toward Lily began to spill over onto her magical friends. First it was Severus, calling him a freak on more than one occasion, then Annabelle, who wouldn't admit to Lily what Petunia had said to her the one time she spent Christmas with them, but whatever it was had been enough to keep Annabelle away at Christmas from that point on.

The latest embarrassment was at Family Day. Petunia wouldn't even acknowledge James' existence. No hello, no pleased to meet you; nothing. She was equally rude to his parents. Lily asked her mum why she even bothered to show up if she was just going to be antisocial and impolite. Turned out her mum had convinced her to come along to say goodbye to Lily before she started her new job and permanently moved out of their childhood home. Her mum had good intentions, but Petunia never said a word about London or her job, nor did she say good-bye.

So there they were, Lily and Petunia, two sisters sitting at the same breakfast table with a vast ocean of distance and resentment between them. Lily absent-mindedly turned the page of the paper and began to eat faster.

"When you're done with that, I'd like to read it," Petunia said irritably. "It's not like it pertains to your life anyway."

"It's not like it pertains to yours either," retorted Lily. "This is a Cokeworth paper and you live in London now."

Petunia sipped her tea, then said, "You know what I mean. It pertains to normal, ordinary folk. Not… your kind."

Lily sighed and said, "Nice to see you haven't changed a bit."

"Why should I change? There's nothing _wrong_ with _me_."

Lily slammed the paper down and was about to take her cereal bowl to her bedroom where she could eat without criticism when there was a tapping on the kitchen window. Lily and Petunia both looked to see a massive Great Grey Owl holding an envelope in its talons.

"Crikey, Lily, I'm trying to eat here," blustered Petunia. "Can't your friends wait until a decent hour before sending their filthy, lice-ridden birds to the house?"

Lily wanted to tell her to shut her mouth, but bit her tongue and went to the window. She opened it, gave the owl a little pet and took the letter.

"Wait here, Iris," she said to the yellow-eyed owl that belonged to the Potter family. "I'll get you a snack." She went up to her room and grabbed a mouse from her own owl's food supply and brought it back down to Iris. She tossed it out the window and watched as the owl caught it in her talons and massacred the stunned creature.

Petunia was making a show of being repulsed, tapping her hand on the table and exhaling in exasperation. Lily closed the window. Instead of sitting down at the table, she opened the letter where she stood.

**_Dearest Lily,_ **

**_I would have written sooner but we were in Coventry yesterday. We only stayed one night since my old great aunt was pretty much a vegetable. She didn't recognise my mum which made her a bit sad, but there was no point in staying for Christmas. I wish I could say I am disappointed we had to cut the trip short, but I'm not. It was more creepy than Christmassy there if you know what I mean._ **

**_I hope your sister isn't giving you any trouble. Let me know if she is and I will be there in a heartbeat to scare the shite out of her. Still haven't heard if anyone's meeting in London but I will keep you posted. By the way, last night I kissed the picture I have of you - not a full on slobbery snog like I'm sure you did to my picture, but a restrained peck on your forehead. I leave the good stuff for my dreams._ **

**_Anyway, I was given permission to tell you this, but don't mention it to anyone else. Sirius was at St. Mungo's Saturday night after showing up at Hogwarts in bad shape. His parents, mainly his dad, had beaten him to a pulp. It was touch and go for a while, but he came through it and he's going to be fine. Annabelle was there and she was quite upset. Like I said, he's fine now, and he's staying at school for the rest of the break. I knew you'd want to know, but we didn't want to say anything until we knew more._ **

**_Love you and counting the days 'til I see you again._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_James xoxo_ **

Lily had laughed when she read the part about the slobbery kisses on his picture, but gasped when she got to the last part. She immediately went to her room, sat at her desk, and wrote to Annabelle. Her own little barn owl, Simon, was perched in his cage, dozing off after snacking on spiders and crickets. Her parents had bought him for themselves as well, so they'd have a way to communicate with her while she was at school. She woke him and sent him on his way with the letter. Later, after Simon returned and had a chance to rest, she would send him out again to James' house. Besides expressing gratitude for letting her know about poor Sirius, she planned to ask him to find a way to get to her house if at all possible. She wanted moral support to get her through dinner with her sister and Vernon.

She was feeling a bit depressed just then, thinking about Sirius and what happened to him. She had only known one other person who got hit at home, and that was Severus. With him it was just an occasional slap or shove, or so he'd told her, but she felt bad for him just the same. Most of the time his parents didn't pay much attention to him at all. Sirius had been 'beaten to a pulp,' as James wrote, and brought to St. Mungo's which was the kind of abuse she'd only read about in the paper or seen on the news. And poor Annabelle; she must have been a wreck.

She went back downstairs to clear her breakfast dishes and heard Petunia on the telephone presumably speaking to Vernon. She wasn't trying to listen in, but her sister must not have realised she'd come back downstairs because she was speaking loud enough for her to hear.

"I can't wait for you to get here my cuddly crumpet," Petunia cooed into the phone, prompting Lily to cover her ears and repress the urge to gag. She wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the rest of the day, let alone until Saturday when Petunia finally took herself back to London.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After breakfast, Sirius and Annabelle tried to make a quick escape. Sirius was desperate for her, which seemed to be how he felt most of the time lately. He just wanted to get her alone where they could be uninterrupted. Professor McGonagall caught them just as they were passing through the great double doors.

"Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill, please wait," she said. "I need you to watch over the students for an hour or so while I run some errands in Diagon Alley. The headmaster is in his office and Mr. Filch is about as well if you need any assistance."

"Can't we come too?" Annabelle blurted out, wishing they could go to London just for a change of scenery, and to avoid babysitting the underclassmen.

"Not today," Professor McGonagall responded. "It will be too crowded and I want to get my errands done quickly. Now if they want to return to their dorms, that is fine, or they can stay in the Great Hall. Please make sure they are not roaming the corridors."

"Yes, ma'am," they replied in monotone voices.

"Why so glum?" she asked. "It's Christmas Eve. Be merry."

"It's just that during breaks you usually take us to London," said Annabelle, "and you haven't mentioned it this year."

"Right," Professor McGonagall replied. "This Saturday is a possibility, but I will have to consult with the headmaster first. Now please, don't leave the younger students unattended. I'd like the castle to be standing when I return."

She stepped into the Great Hall and announced, "Your attention, students! I am stepping out momentarily. If you have any concerns or if you choose to leave the Great Hall, please inform Miss O'Neill or Mr. Black. There is to be no horseplay in the corridors."

With a flourish of her robes, she turned on her heels and marched off. Sirius and Annabelle ambled back into the Great Hall.

"Bet you're secretly plotting your escape to James' house," Annabelle said, as they sat down with their backs against a table as far away from the others as possible. Annabelle didn't mind the other kids, but she also didn't like playing babysitter, and she knew Sirius felt the same way.

"And leave you? Not a chance," he replied. "Besides, anything is better than where I started out, that's for sure. What I really wish is that we were out of school, living on our own, and could come and go as we pleased. Honestly, why does McGonagall have to come with us to London? We both grew up there. We probably know the city better than she does."

"I suppose she feels responsible for us since we are still considered underage."

"But who would care if she bent the rules? It's not like she has to worry about our parents getting upset."

"McGonagall? Bend the rules?" Annabelle asked with a wry chuckle. "You must be joking." Aside from allowing Johnny B. into the girls' dorm a week ago, she couldn't remember another time Professor McGonagall bent the rules.

They sat in silence for a few moments, lost in their own thoughts as they watched the kids entertain themselves. Veronica was still talking to Nico about Quidditch. The other Hufflepuff had joined them while the two Slytherin boys, Phillip and Faustus, were chasing Zelda and Twyla around a table, playing some form of tag that involved a few harmless spells. The Ravenclaw girls approached Sirius and Annabelle.

"Um… we're going back to our tower. All right?" the oldest one whose name was Josephine asked.

"No. You can't," Sirius said with a straight face. "Sit back down and that's an order."

"Wha.. um… pardon me?" Josephine responded.

"He's just teasing," Annabelle said. "You can go."

The girls forced a laugh like they didn't really think it was funny and left.

"Why do Ravenclaws lack a sense of humour?" he asked after they were out of earshot.

Annabelle shrugged and said, "Maybe their humour is just different."

"One of those girls looks like that fuckwit Bertram Aubrey's sister. Wonder why she's here and he isn't."

"Is that the one whose head you and James blew up during third year?"

Sirius cracked a cheeky grin. "Yes, that's the one."

"Maybe that's why they didn't laugh at your joke."

"Oh please, he deserved it."

"And why is that?"

"He was sitting in the courtyard one afternoon going on and on about how Gryffindor had a poofter on the team. His word, not mine. He went on to call Johnny B. every rude name in the book. Fairfax kicked his arse and we thought that'd be the end of it, but then he sent Connor – you remember Connor from Moore's don't you?"

"Yes," she replied. Even if she hadn't officially met him in Moore's Pub, everyone had known who Connor Fawley was then, just as everyone knew who Sirius Black was now.

"He sent him a paper aeroplane in the library one day saying 'How's it feel to have a poof on your team?' Connor ignored it, but James and I cornered the creep outside his common room, and, well… you know. The rest is history."

Again, Annabelle felt her heart brimming with love. All along she'd thought it was just another one of their mean pranks, which Sirius himself openly admitted to playing. But knowing that particular prank was done in defence of Johnny B., one of the best people she knew, made her want to throw herself on top of Sirius right there.

"How did you get caught?" she asked instead.

"The dork ran and told on us, big head and all," Sirius said, then started laughing. "His head was so big he almost got stuck in the doorway of Dumbledore's office, or so we heard."

"You two have no fear," Annabelle said, smiling at his mirth and turning her attention back to the students.

After about two and a half hours which included a contest that involved the Hover Charm, a fight between Faustus and Nico which ended when Annabelle cast the Tickling charm on them, and a terrifying ghost story told by Veronica that made Twyla cry a little, Professor McGonagall finally returned.

"How did it go?" she asked them.

"There were no problems, ma'am," Annabelle replied.

Just then, Lily's owl Simon zipped into the room and dropped a letter into Annabelle's hands. She shoved it in her pocket and when Professor McGonagall was momentarily distracted by Zelda who had approached her to complain about something, they sprinted, hurtling themselves up the grand staircase and flying through the corridors. Sirius was leading the way, and they ended up at the secret hiding place they had visited once before. They stepped in through the linen closet, climbed the narrow stairs, and collapsed on the floor, panting and laughing as they tried to catch their breath.

After a brief respite, Annabelle crawled over to him and kissed him hard on the lips. The strawberry jam and the sticking up for Johnny B. had increased the already intense physical wanting; the longing to be with him. He guided her over him so that she was straddling him on her knees, and pulled her face down to his and they began kissing urgently, almost roughly as though they were anticipating another interruption. They wanted to take full advantage of their time together before someone stopped them. Sirius' hands immediately went under her shirt and she felt him unhooking her bra. That was the moment Peeves decided to pay them a visit, coming through the wall and howling gleefully.

"I found them Professor! Brazen, cheeky students!" he squealed. "They're in here! Hahahaha!"

" _Fuck_ ," Sirius muttered as they leapt to their feet, both of them hoping that an actual professor wasn't outside waiting for them. She tried frantically to hook her bra again but she couldn't manage it from behind so Sirius had to do it. His hands were shaking, but he succeeded in getting it fastened as Peeves vanished then came right back, screeching some more.

As they quickly made their way down the staircase, Sirius made a mental note to take the Marauder's Map with him from that point on, and if Annabelle had to know about it, so be it. His mates would get over it. Again, Peeves trilled, "Misbegotten knaves! Rascals! They're here Professor! I've caught them!"

There was no one in the room when they exited the secret doorway, but Peeves kept flying around them, shouting incriminations. Sirius grabbed Annabelle by the hand and shot Peeves a look that could kill, if it was possible to kill a poltergeist, and they hurried discreetly into the corridor, looking around before attempting to make a run for Gryffindor Tower. Peeves followed, determined that they be caught.

"Come see, Professor! Impertinent imps! They're here!" Peeves cackled.

Sirius stopped and looked Peeves dead in the eyes and ordered, "Shut your gob before I make this afternoon's activity an exorcism!"

Peeves froze, then smiled again like he didn't believe it.

"Annabelle here is a proper medium. She's from a long line of priestesses and has expelled a variety of your kind all over Britain. Would you like to be next?" he asked the loony poltergeist.

"He's correct," Annabelle replied in a spooky voice. "All I need is some salt, sage, and visit from my spirit guide… wait… I think she's here…"

Sirius pretended to be frightened. "She's here? Peeves, I'd get lost if I were you, right now!"

"She's most certainly here!" Annabelle exclaimed.

Peeves' smiled faded as Annabelle rolled her eyes up into her head, began shaking, and intoned in a deepened voice, "DEPART IMPIOUS ONE! DEPART WITH ALL YOUR DECEITS! DEPART WITH YOUR EVIL!"

Peeves slowly flew backwards then turned and disappeared through a wall.

"Wow, Annie," Sirius said, laughing nervously as they continued to Gryffindor Tower. "That was a good bluff. I almost believed you myself!"

"I used to read a lot of horror books," Annabelle replied. "Mrs Pennifold said it was useless to read rubbish like that. Guess she was wrong."

"I'll say," he responded. "You just saved us."

"It was your idea in the first place," Annabelle reminded him. "You saved us."

They both jumped as McGonagall's voice called out from behind them.

"Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill," she said. They turned around and regarded her cheerlessly. "There you are. You left before I was through with you. I'd like you to go unlock the library. The Ravenclaw students would like to get some work done, and I'd advise you both to do the same. Next year will be time for N.E.W.T.s and you don't want to fall behind."

It was true they had work to do. The History of Magic teacher had assigned an essay that they hadn't felt like doing at all, but had planned to do later or whenever they conquered their procrastination. N.E.W.T.s, on the other hand, weren't for a year and half. They both had to use every ounce of effort they could muster not to protest.

"Alohamora won't work," Professor McGonagall said as she held out a key. "You'll need this. Please don't leave the students alone in the library. Madam Wigworthy would have a fit."

The Ravenclaw girls meant business. They worked straight until lunch and after lunch they returned to the library. Annabelle and Sirius had finished their essay and were racing paper airplanes when the girls were finally through. Just when they thought they could leave the library, in waltzed Zelda, Twyla, and Nico.

"Professor McGonagall sent us here to get our assignments done," Zelda said.

Sirius plunked down into a chair, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes. He surrendered to the forces conspiring to keep them from being alone together. Annabelle wasn't pleased either. In all her years of spending Christmas in the castle, she'd never felt so hounded and badgered. She used to read a book a day in previous years because she had so much free time and no one ever checked in on her. Just because she and Sirius were the oldest students, suddenly they had to be stand-ins for faculty? It wasn't fair.

She suddenly remembered she had a letter from Lily in her pocket. She opened it up and read it, glad for the break in the monotony of library duty.

**_Dear Annie,_ **

**_James told me what happened. You were right to be concerned about Sirius and I feel so foolish for telling you otherwise. I am thrilled that he is safe now and I hope you are both recovering from what must have been a harrowing ordeal. Give Sirius a big hug from me and tell him not to worry, I won't speak of it to anyone._ **

**_Have you found out if you'll be going to London for a day? I haven't asked my parents yet, but if they say no, James can smuggle me out of here somehow, I'm sure. I must get out of here somehow. My sister is already driving me mad with her criticisms._ **

**_I hope you two are staying out of trouble…. (Hi, Sirius!)_ **

**_Miss you! And merry Christmas!_ **

**_Lily xx_ **

Annabelle tapped Sirius on the arm and handed the letter to him. After he read it, he gave it back to her, and closed his eyes again.

"She told you to give me a hug," he said. "I'm waiting."

Annabelle grinned and walked behind his chair where she bent over, wrapped her arms around him in a tight squeeze, and gave his head a kiss. Then she sat down, took out some parchment, and wrote back to Lily.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

About a half hour before Vernon arrived, Lily had received a letter from James in response to the one she sent him after Simon returned from Hogwarts and had a nap. She read it several times, steeling herself for dinner with Petunia and her cuddly crumpet.

**_Dearest Lily,_ **

**_Your letter is killing me inside. I wish I could get there in time for dinner with your sister's vile boyfriend. I know how uncomfortable she makes you, but you must try to ignore her. You know she's only jealous. And you know her opinions don't matter to anyone but her and probably her vile boyfriend. My mum has the neighbours over for tea and she's making me be sociable. I'm going to do my best to get out later, if for nothing else than to see my girl. I can't make any promises, but if I don't make it for dinner time, try to be in your room by nine._ ** **_Hang a scarf out your window so I know where to find you.  
_ **

**_Love,_ **

**_James_ **

Now, Lily sat at the dinner table across from Petunia and Vernon. Her parents, at the ends of the table, sipped their wine quietly and swapped glances with each other as Vernon talked and talked and talked. He spoke of his job, the importance of his position, his plans to direct his own company someday, and how much money there was to be made in the power tool industry. When he exhausted that topic, he moved on to bulldogs, how his sister had recently started breeding them, the reasons why they made such great pets, and how the Evans family would benefit from owning one. They politely declined.

Lily couldn't have been more uncomfortable. When Petunia introduced Vernon to her family, Lily immediately sensed his disdain for her. She knew Petunia had told him something negative about her. Probably not the whole truth, because she'd be crazy to tell her muggle boyfriend of a month that her sister was a witch. But she'd told him something, and whatever it was had caused him to write her off as beneath him somehow. Maybe he was just being supportive of his girlfriend; after all, James hadn't liked Petunia before he met her because of what Lily had told him. Still, this was her house and her parents, too, and she didn't feel good about being dismissed in her own home.

She knew the chances were slim that James would be able to get away on Christmas Eve, especially at dinner time. Even so, she kept looking to the front door, the windows, straining her ears for any sound that might be the popping of apparition.

Her mother said, "Lily, dear, is something the matter? You seem rather preoccupied."

"Just thought I heard something," she replied.

Petunia glared at her and Lily looked down at her plate. There was a moment of silence while Vernon shovelled potatoes into his mouth. Suddenly, there was a loud tapping at the dining room window and Petunia jumped. Vernon gasped when he saw the large brown owl peering its orange eyes in at them. Lily, on the other hand, lit up like a Christmas tree. She rushed to the window, letting in a gust of cold air as she opened it.

"You must be hungry, Max," she said after taking the letter from the owl. Max, short for Maximus, was the fastest the owl in the Hogwarts owlery with a wingspan as big as the Potters' owl, Iris. Everyone wanted to use him for their post, but because he was so popular, they usually had to settle for a different owl. Lily figured it was one of the perks of staying at the castle for the holiday; there was a good chance Max would be available. "Wait here while I get you a treat," Lily said and left the room.

Petunia's face drained of all colour as she knew what was coming, but was powerless to stop it. A moment later, Lily came back into the dining room, a live mouse dangling from her fingertips. Vernon's eyes almost popped out of his head and for the first time that evening, he seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Sorry little fellow," she said to the mouse as she held it out to Max. The owl clawed it down onto the window sill and began to devour it right there, tearing it apart with its strong bill. Lily turned away, because even though it was natural, it wasn't pleasant to witness.

"Lily, darling, do you mind shutting the window?" her father asked.

"Just a moment, dad," she replied. "He's almost finished. I don't want to disturb him."

Petunia threw down her napkin and said, "This is utterly repulsive. How do you let her get away with this?"

He mother responded gently, "Petunia, dear, you know the owl has a long trip back to its home. Lily told us-"

"I don't care what Lily told us. It is rude! We are eating!"

Lily crossed her arms and clenched her jaw tightly, her back turned on her family. Finally the owl finished and Lily gave him a pet and shooed him off, shutting the window after him.

"This is the second meal today that a filthy bird has interrupted. Where are your friends' manners?" Petunia continued. "You probably arranged it on purpose to humiliate me!"

Lily stared down at the letter that said her name in Annabelle's handwriting. She felt the urge to cry, and wanted to go upstairs to her room and not come out until Petunia went back to London.

"Dear, please sit back down. You can open your letter after dinner," her father said. Reluctantly, Lily sat down and put the letter aside.

"Really?" Petunia blustered. "Now we are suddenly minding our manners? She may as well open the letter now after the gruesome scene we just witnessed in the window!"

Lily looked to her mother who nodded wearily, indicating that she could open it, but Lily didn't want to read it with them watching her.

"Go on, open it, Lily," Petunia said. "I personally can't wait to see which one of your mutant friends disturbed our Christmas Eve dinner."

"Stop talking about my friends like that!" Lily burst out. "You don't even know them!"

"Nor do I want to!" Petunia shouted.

"Girls! That will be enough!" their father ordered.

Lily stood up, grabbed her letter, and pushed her chair in.

"Excuse me. I seem to have lost my appetite," she said, her voice shaking. She knew it was rude to leave the table, but if she didn't she would either scream at her sister or start crying.

"Oh, Lily, dear," her mother called after her.

"I'm fine, mum," she replied as she hurried out of the dining room.

When she reached her room, she opened the letter.

**_Dear Lily,_ **

**_Sorry to hear things aren't going well with Petunia. You don't deserve her criticism and she will regret it someday. Don't worry, the break will be over before you know it._ **

**_There's no time for us to get into any trouble here. McGonagall keeps us very busy babysitting the younger students, cleaning out old files, helping Filch, chaperoning in the library…. She must think we are bored or something._ **

**_I'll stop whinging now. It's Christmas Eve, so I will count my blessings, and you, my dear friend, are one of them. Sirius is right here, and he says hello and merry Christmas. He also says to hex your sister's boyfriend if he gives you any trouble because the Ministry won't hold it against you. By the way, you probably shouldn't heed that advice._ **

**_And this should cheer you up – McGonagall said maybe Saturday for London. Nothing is set in stone, but there's hope!_ **

**_Tell your parents I said merry Christmas. Miss you!_ **

**_Annabelle xx_ **

Lily sighed, feeling a little better already, even though she was wishing she could have stayed at the castle too. She'd take babysitting first-years over Petunia and Vernon any day, but she knew her parents would be gutted if she didn't come home for Christmas, and she couldn't do that to them. She curled up on her bed and her eyelids started to feel heavy. She turned off her light and gave in to the pull of sleep, even though she knew she should probably go back downstairs. Several hours later, she woke up in the pitch darkness to a loud crack and a chair toppling over.

"Lily?" James' voice asked. "Why didn't you leave a light on?"

She fumbled for the light next to her bed. "What time is it?"

"Half past eleven. I can't stay long. My parents will kill me if they find out I did this."

She was so happy to see him that her eyes filled with tears and she flew into his arms. He hugged her tightly and whispered, "Don't cry my darling. Please."

All of a sudden there was knock at Lily's bedroom door and she quickly opened her closet and pushed him inside.

"Lily dear, are you all right in here? I heard a noise," her mother's sleepy voice said as she opened the door and peeked her head in.

"Yes, mum," said Lily. "Sorry I didn't come back down to dinner, but I fell asleep by accident, then I tripped over the chair when I got up just now." She hated lying to her mother, but she couldn't exactly tell her that her boyfriend had knocked the chair over and was hiding in her closet.

"Well, push the chair in all the way," her mother advised. "The last thing we need is someone getting hurt."

"Yes, mum," she replied. "I will."

"Goodnight, dear," her mother said, and shut the door.

Lily opened the closet. James was too tall to stand up in the closet and she giggled at the sight of his long legs and the rest of him hidden by clothes. She offered him a hand and once he was out, he pulled her close again and said, "Should I say hello to Petunia while I'm here?"

Lily grinned and whispered, "Don't get any ideas."

"I wish I could take you out of here," he said as he gazed into her emerald eyes. "To someplace where we could do whatever we wanted with no one to answer to but ourselves. No sneaking around."

"That would be lovely," she replied.

James took off his glasses and set them on her night table. He leaned in and kissed her softly, then he stopped momentarily to look at her again. She smiled and pulled his face back to hers, and they kissed again, this time more deeply. He led her backwards onto her bed and she felt herself letting him lay down with her. She didn't intend on taking any chances, but being in a bed with him was something new and special, and oh, how she'd missed him in the short time they'd been apart.

"I missed kissing you," he breathed, as his mouth moved down her neck, dotting it with kisses and his hand went for her chest.

"James," she whispered, as she clutched his hair with one hand and ran the other down his back, "We should stop."

He didn't say anything at first, but returned his lips to hers. Then he said softly, "Are you sure?"

"No…. Kiss me again," she replied, and gave into to him, unable to resist. A few moments later, she thought she heard something- a creak in the floorboards outside her door. Her body tensed.

"I heard a noise."

"It's nothing," he replied, still kissing her.

"We have to stop," Lily said, and meant it. She had a feeling her nosy sister was listening at the door and with that thought came the realization that she had her boyfriend in her bed, the same bed in which her mum and dad had read books to her as a child, and they were just down the hall, possibly still awake. Besides, she definitely didn't want to go any farther with him. It wasn't that she didn't adore him, or enjoy being with him, but she was in no hurry to take the next step with him. "Really, James… my parents…my sister."

James reluctantly sat up and put his glasses back on. He knew Lily would want to stop, and that he'd be an arse to be upset about it. As much as he would love to keep going, he wanted her to have no regrets when the time came, and he'd never dream of pressuring her. And he'd never admit it to his mates, he was a bit nervous about going too far as well, despite the amazing way he felt when he was with her.

"You're right. I should probably get going anyway. I just couldn't stay away after your letter."

"Won't your mum and dad hear you when you return?"

"I don't apparate directly into the house. I arrive down the street by an old graveyard then let myself in with a key. They probably won't hear me come in, but you never know."

"Maybe I should let you out the front door as well," Lily suggested. "Just let me check to make sure it's safe to leave."

She got up and tip-toed to her door. She had a feeling her sister was out there, which made her very nervous. She slowly opened it, and peeked her head out, but no one was there. She turned to James and nodded, and he followed her quickly through the darkness, down the stairs, and into the frigid air.

"I love you, Lily," he whispered. "Now get to bed before Father Christmas skips your house."

She smiled and said, "I love you, too."

They kissed once more and he jogged down the street a ways to a large evergreen that he could hide behind in case any muggles might be watching. He waved, then stepped behind the tree. The next thing she heard was a loud pop, and she knew he was gone.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That evening after dinner, Sirius and Annabelle were forced to sit in the Great Hall while two of the Ravenclaw girls recited from memory the poem, "T'was the Night Before Christmas." Afterwards, Mr. Filch enlisted Sirius to do a walk-through of the building with him. Annabelle was given the task of babysitting Zelda, Twyla, and Nico, who had a screaming match with each other at dinner that involved hexes flying and mince pies being thrown. Since it was Christmas Eve, Annabelle ordered them all to bed early. She was exhausted, but wasn't going to bed without saying goodnight to Sirius, so she decided to turn on the radio. It was still tuned to the muggle station with the Christmas carols playing. She turned the volume down low, dropped onto the sofa, and picked up where she left off in the trashy romance novel she'd nicked from Lorelei's night table.

When Sirius arrived, he looked tired and annoyed. He sat down next to her and sighed, then he squeezed his eyes shut and rested his head on the back of the sofa.

"Are you feeling all right?" she asked him.

"I'm fine," he replied. "Just a bit of a headache." He opened his eyes and said, "What are you reading?"

She blushed and said, "Nothing special."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Let me see, Annie." She handed him the book.

" _Confessions of a Very Wicked Witch_ ," he read out loud then flipped the book open. "He ripped her bodice open and the fullness of her-"

He stopped reading, still looking down at the book. "Annabelle… where'd you get this?"

"Lorelei's night table," she replied, unable to hide her smile. "You want to take turns reading it out loud like we did with _Sons and Lovers_?"

Sirius laughed and said, "Honestly, Annabelle, what are you doing to me?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"If I read this with you, I am going to want to pounce on you. And then McGonagall, or Peeves, or Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum will interrupt us. And…" he trailed off.

"And it's not easy stopping… I know."

"Right," he said, as he handed her the book then rested his head on the back of the sofa again. He shut his eyes and Annabelle looked down at the book's cover; a pale witch with rotund breasts in the arms of a sun-tanned, brawny wizard, their hair whipping in the wind by the sea. They didn't look real, which made them sort of unattractive, really.

A moment later she asked, "So... no more kissing until school's back in session?"

He opened his eyes and turned his head toward her. Her eyes were sparkling in the fire light, and her coy expression was so sweet that he couldn't bear it.

"Who am I kidding," he said and he leaned into her, kissing her fervently. She smiled slightly as he guided her back onto the throw pillow. Their lips met again, but soon they heard an all too familiar voice saying the password outside the portrait hole.

Sirius sighed as he quickly sat up and scooted over, and Annabelle made sure to discreetly tuck the book under a sofa cushion so Professor McGonagall wouldn't see it.

She was holding five of the stockings Sirius and Annabelle had stuffed as she strode over to them followed by two house-elves. The elves were carrying five wrapped packages and placed them under Annabelle's muggle tree, then they took the stockings and began hanging them from the mantle over the hearth.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" she demanded of them. "Father Christmas won't come if you are awake."

Sirius glanced sideways at the Christmas tree where the elves just put the presents, and Annabelle eyed the stockings, then they looked back to her like she was crazy.

"Oh, all right, you caught me," she said. "Remember, Christmas brunch is at half past ten tomorrow morning. The Christmas feast is at six. It will be a long day and I will require your assistance. You must go to bed now."

"Can't we stay up a bit longer, ma'am?" Annabelle asked. "It's Christmas Eve."

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips sternly, but then she softened and said, "You have ten minutes, then I must insist you go to sleep." She walked to the portrait hole but turned back and repeated, " _Ten minutes._ "

"Yes, Professor," they answered together.

"A whole ten minutes, how generous of her," Sirius said after she was gone.

"Let's not waste a second of it," Annabelle said as she snuggled up to him and he rested his head on hers. "No snogging though. I don't trust her."

They didn't speak for a few minutes as they held each other and watched the dying fire. The Christmas music was still playing and the snow was falling outside. Despite the annoying kids and not being able get Annabelle alone for long, there was a peace inside of Sirius that he hadn't known before.

"You were right, Annie," he said, "Christmas here is rather nice."

"Even though they won't leave us alone?"

"If you'd known Christmas with my family, you'd welcome this, believe me."

Annabelle frowned. Of course this had to be better than what he was used to and she felt guilty for complaining about it. And when she thought about it, having him there made it much more special than it had ever been in previous years.

"I believe you," she said. "I wish you were here under different circumstances, but it's rather nice having you here. It's not as lonely."

He kissed her head and she looked up at him. His eyes were easy to get lost in, and she did as he gazed back at her.

"Knock knock," she said.

He grinned and said, "Who's there?"

"Olive."

"Olive who?"

"Olive you."

They both laughed as quietly as they could manage so as not to wake the others. He looked into her eyes and ran his hand over her flushed cheek.

"God, I love you," he said.

She thought she would melt right there, and she pulled his face to hers for one more kiss. Then they heard the portrait hole opening and they exchanged subtle looks of resignation as they stood up.

Professor McGonagall pointed at the clock on the wall then pointed to the stairs that led to their dorms. They said good night to her, but she didn't leave, and since they knew she wouldn't until they had gone, they retreated to their rooms for the night, while visions of each other danced in their heads.

 


	44. Nearly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you've never heard ABBA's "Fernando," you might want to YouTube it before reading this, just as a point of reference for something that happens later in the chapter. For a real scare, Google 1976 and check out the image section. Eeeek! What an era. :)

It was Christmas morning, and the five Gryffindor students sat around the tree in the common room opening presents. Annabelle noticed that someone had dropped off more gifts after they had gone to bed. She had briefly considered sneaking up to Sirius' room during the night; it was tempting knowing he was there alone, and how she missed him when she was alone in her room, but seeing the additional gifts made her glad she had resisted the temptation. What if she'd been seen by a house elf going up the boys' staircase? What if McGonagall had brought the gifts in and caught her? To say she would be disappointed in Annabelle would be a massive understatement.

Zelda and Twyla had been the first ones up that morning. Some of the presents were from their families on holiday in Majorca and they had already opened them by the time the others joined them. Nico had a couple gifts as well, a Falmouth Falcons t-shirt, and what appeared to be a picture in a frame, but he didn't show it to any of them. The Potters had sent Sirius a rather expensive looking watch and some money. Annabelle could tell he was reluctant to accept; even a little embarrassed.

"It's lovely," Annabelle said. "You should put it on."

"It's so extravagant, though," he said.

"It's their money," she assured him, "so let them decide how to spend it."

He nodded, but put the watch back inside the box. "Maybe I'll wear it Saturday if we go to London."

Annabelle wasn't keen on accepting what she thought of as pity-gifts either, but she'd come to accept that people felt sorry for her. The Evans family weren't quite as wealthy as the Potters, and had sent Annabelle some new pyjamas and a box of Jaffa Cakes. Being that she was raised like a muggle, she had always rather enjoyed the processed treats, but rarely got to eat them any more. Lily had grown up with them as well, so it was tradition that she send some to Annabelle whenever she went home.

"What in the world are Jaffa Cakes?" Sirius asked, picking up the box.

"You really don't know?" she asked him, aware that he could be teasing her at any given moment.

"No. Are they any good?"

"Try one," she said.

"Oooh, can we try one?" asked Zelda.

Annabelle opened the box and let them all take one.

"Nico?" she asked. He shook his head no.

Sirius took a small bite and grimaced. "This is disgusting."

Annabelle giggled and took one for herself. After taking a bite, she said, "I can't understand why you'd say that."

"I quite like it," Twyla said.

"They taste stale, and is that even real chocolate?" Sirius asked.

"I think so," she said. "But they aren't stale. Maybe they're an acquired taste. Mrs. Brennan, our housekeeper, used to buy them for me."

"What in the bloody hell is a housekeeper, Annie?" he demanded.

She looked at him suspiciously, but he was straight-faced, so she said, "You know, like a house elf, only human and with a lot more dignity?"

Sirius couldn't keep a straight face any longer and with a devilish smile he said, "Um, do you think I'm daft or something? I know what a housekeeper is."

The girls and Nico thought he was hilarious and laughed while Annabelle pretended to be exasperated, even though deep down she loved the teasing.

"Nico, are you sure you wouldn't like one?" Annabelle asked. He was looking rather glum.

"I said no, _all right_?" he snapped.

Annabelle was taken aback, but Sirius spoke first. "Don't be such a Scrooge," he said.

Nico glowered at Sirius but didn't respond.

The gifts Professor McGonagall had delivered the night before were there as well. They each took the one with their name on it and opened it.

"Slippers?" Zelda said, wrinkling her nose.

"Spoiled brat," Nico muttered under his breath.

"What? These are nice slippers," Annabelle replied before Zelda could yell at him. "Who doesn't like warm feet?"

Sirius replied, "I, for one, am wearing my slippers to brunch." He kicked off his trainers and put them on. "Ahh, that's better."

Annabelle said, "I'm going to wear mine, too. It's a holiday. Might as well act like it."

Zelda and Twyla copied them, but Nico just sat there looking morose. It was disconcerting to see a fourteen-year-old so miserable on Christmas Day and she wanted to know why he was a delight one moment, and a raging graphorn the next. She thought to ask what was bothering him, but decided she didn't want her head bit off.

"It's about time for brunch," she said. "Let's get going."

They got up, wearing their new slippers from their head of house, and brought their gifts to their rooms. When they returned, Nico was still sitting by the tree looking sullen. Sirius and Annabelle looked at each other apprehensively then back at Nico.

"Girls, I forgot something," Annabelle said to Zelda and Twyla. "You go on ahead."

"We'll wait," Zelda offered.

"Please go. It might take me a moment to find it," she said.

Zelda was about to speak again, but Sirius raised his eyebrows at them threateningly and they seemed to get the message. Once they were gone, Annabelle and Sirius approached Nico, who had the picture frame turned upside down in his lap.

Nico looked up at them and said, "What do you want?"

Annabelle said, "Well… it's just that you seem down… and we were wondering if anything was wrong."

Nico looked away sadly. They edged a bit closer to him and sat down on the floor again.

"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone," Sirius said. "Promise."

Still, he didn't respond, but he exhaled like he was annoyed. They could see the glisten of tears sparkle in his eyes.

"Is that a picture you're holding?" Annabelle asked. Nico nodded and she said, "Can we have a look?"

He handed her the picture and Sirius leaned over to look as well. In the photo, Nico was standing next to a woman with long brown hair and blue eyes that looked very much like Nico. Their smiles were bright, in fact they were laughing, and it was clear to see why. On their arms, shoulders, and heads were perched about twenty jabberknolls. The magical blue birds flitted their wings while Nico and the woman looked at each other and laughed.

"Who is she?" Annabelle asked.

"My mum," Nico said.

"She's beautiful," Annabelle replied. "And you look like her."

"How did you get the jabberknolls to land on you like that?" Sirius asked.

"My mum's a magizoologist," he replied. "She has a way with all creatures, magic or otherwise."

"Did she send you this picture?" Sirius asked.

"No, my dad did. My mum…" he began, but stopped himself and looked down at his hands.

"Go on, Nico, it might feel good to talk about it," Annabelle said delicately.

Nico swallowed and replied, "She's in a hospital in Japan. She was doing research on demiguises there and she was attacked by a kappa."

Sirius and Annabelle's mouths dropped open a little. Kappas were extremely dangerous and usually succeeding in killing their victims.

"Anyway, they don't know if they can save her. It took a lot of her blood and it was a while before her partner could get her medical help. She's in a coma. My dad is there with her, but he thought it best I stay here."

Annabelle and Sirius hadn't expected that. No wonder he was so upset. He didn't know if his mum was going to live or die.

"Nico, I'm really sorry," Annabelle said. "You must be so worried for her."

He nodded again and a tear dripped into his lap.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, mate," Sirius said. "You could have told us that from the start. No need to carry that around by yourself."

Nico lost his battle with his tears and Annabelle felt her own eyes welling up. She knew the grief he'd be facing if he lost her.

"I don't want her to die," he whimpered.

Annabelle scooted over to him and put her arm around his shoulders.

"Of course you don't," she said. "And she might not. You don't know."

"Has anyone you loved ever died?" he asked, looking at Annabelle.

"Yes. My grandmother died when I was four, so I don't really remember her, but my grandfather, who was my only parent, died when I was ten."

"What does it feel like?" he asked.

She wasn't sure if she should answer that question. His mum might end up recovering and she didn't want to upset him needlessly. But what could it hurt, really, to tell him the truth? He was potentially facing a loss so tremendous that he probably didn't know how he'd survive it. She could only speak from her own experience, but she figured her feelings on the matter might ease his concern to some degree.

"Well… It's devastating at first… I can't lie… I wondered how I'd breathe, how I'd make it to the next minute, let alone the next hour or day. No amount of crying could take the pain away, and yet all I could do was cry, then rest, then cry some more. Eventually I did make it to the next hour, the next day, week, month. And sometimes I'd feel normal, and then something would remind me… and I'd feel the shock and sting of it all over again. Over time, the normal days happened more often, and very gradually they began to outnumber the sad days. And even though I still miss him and even cry sometimes, I got through the worst of it."

Nico wiped his eyes and looked at Sirius, whose eyes were also misty. "What about you?"

"Can't say I have," Sirius replied. "I've had family members die, but none that I was close to." He hoped he'd never be able to relate to what Annabelle had just described. The people he loved the most in the world may not have been blood family, but he couldn't imagine losing any of them so unexpectedly; being blindsided the way Annabelle had been. The way Nico had been. He'd rather die first, if he had a choice in the matter.

"I don't want to be here," Nico said. "I wanted to go with my dad. I should be with her. But it all happened so fast, and he was in a rush to get to her… What if I don't get to tell her I love her?"

"She knows how you feel," Annabelle said. "Believe me. She knows."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "And you know healers can work wonders. So don't lose hope. Not just yet."

Nico sniffled and wiped his eyes again. "Right," he said. "Thank you. And I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving, too."

"Don't be sorry," Sirius said. "Zelda and Twyla can bring out the worst in anyone."

Nico smiled a little and said, "They're barking mad, aren't they?"

Annabelle laughed and said, "Give them a few years. They'll get over it."

Eventually, after Nico pulled himself together and brought his gifts to his room, they joined the others in the Great Hall. Owls flew overhead dropping letters and greeting cards from friends and family. Only Lily and James knew Sirius was at the castle and he wondered if anyone had unwittingly sent greetings to his parents' house. They'd _love_ that.

Annabelle received a particularly amusing howler from Johnny B. of him and his nine-year-old brother singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" at the tops of their lungs. Johnny B. had invited her home with him at Christmas every year, but she knew his single mum struggled to make ends meet, and she refused to be a burden to her. Every year he sent a howler of him singing with his brother. Sometimes his mum would join in. Annabelle had the impression that even though they didn't have much, they were exceedingly optimistic people who loved each other very much.

She also received a letter from Alice who mentioned that if she met up with them in London, Frank would be joining them. Frank was almost nineteen and was training to be an auror. Annabelle was glad he'd be joining them, since she barely knew him aside from seeing him around the school occasionally before he graduated. He and Alice had started dating after they formally met at a mutual family friend's home during the summer Alice was fifteen and he was seventeen, and they started dating just before sixth year. He rarely got time off to visit Alice, and when he did, they wanted to be alone together as much as possible, so he was still sort of a stranger to the rest of them.

Professor McGonagall wasn't lying when she said they had a busy day ahead of them. After trading their slippers for shoes and a trip the owlery to post their own Christmas greetings, including a howler from them both back to Johnny B., she had Sirius and Annabelle facilitate a game of charades which turned out to be so hilarious that even the Ravenclaw girls laughed. Afterwards, McGonagall escorted them all to Hogsmeade for a couple hours to listen to some chamber singers, and charged Annabelle and Sirius with keeping a close eye on the first years. The task proved difficult, because the chamber singers almost put them both to sleep.

Once they were back at the castle, it was time for a snow sculpture contest on the grounds judged by Dumbledore, and since wands were involved the results were something to behold. The Ravenclaws made a massive life-like chess set that was a near winner, but Nico and Sirius took the prize with their scale model of the castle that they fashioned down to the last infinitesimal detail, using special advanced charms that Sirius could cast with ease. Annabelle was partnered with Zelda and Twyla, and she knew they didn't have a chance when the girls insisted on a giant kitten as their subject, which was stupid enough, but then the girls quit halfway through and decided to throw snow balls at each other instead.

Afterwards, they had just enough time to get ready for the feast. Since it was a special occasion, they all tried to dress up a bit. Annabelle wore a green dress that ended just above the knee with sheer blousy sleeves that cinched at the wrists. She had bought it over the summer on a trip to London with money she'd save from her monthly allowance, doled out by Dumbledore from her inheritance. Her hair was parted in the middle and flowed around her face in soft waves.

"Wow, Miss O'Neill," Sirius said when he saw her. "You are stunning." He'd never seen her dressed up before and he could barely take his eyes off her.

"Why, thank you," she said, as she gave his brightly patterned neck tie a tug. "You're looking rather handsome yourself, Mr. Black. Is that a new tie?"

"It's new to me," he replied. "Nicked it from James' trunk."

"You look like models from _Siren Magazine_ ," Zelda said earnestly. Annabelle and Sirius laughed derisively at her remark, but thanked her anyway. That was quite the compliment coming from Zelda.

"I don't think our hair is massive enough for that," Sirius whispered in Annabelle's ear.

She laughed and added, "Nor our eyelids blue enough."

In the Great Hall, the multiple Christmas trees were sparkling as the ceiling mimicked the soft snowfall outside. There was one long candlelit table with placeholders that the students would share with the professors. Sirius and Annabelle were seated directly across from each other. Dumbledore stood up at the head of the table, raised his glass, and made the toast. Everyone clinked their glasses together, then the dishes were passed as they helped themselves. Annabelle felt strange facing Sirius at the table, since they were so used to being side by side at meals. It was rather curious that she should be bashful sitting across from him, maybe because the forced eye contact was somehow more intimate, or maybe because she'd have to resist staring at him all night.

She had Phillip on one side of her and Madam Pomfrey on the other, which made conversation a bit awkward, but she did her best to be sociable. Sirius was engaged in a conversation with Tamir, a second-year Hufflepuff about what else? Quidditch, of course. The twelve-year-old boy was clearly thrilled to be talking to Sirius Black the Quidditch star, and Sirius was just glad to be talking about Quidditch.

Later, it was time for the Christmas crackers. Annabelle crossed her arms and squeezed her eyes shut as she pulled the crackers she shared with Phillip on one side of her and Madam Pomfrey on the other. Everyone put on their paper crowns and starting telling each other the jokes that were inside.

"What do you get if you cross St. Nick with a duck?" Sirius read.

"A Christmas Quacker?" Annabelle responded.

"Clever clogs, you are," he said.

"That was an easy one," she said, then read her own. "What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?"

He thought for a moment, then his face brightened. "Cross-Mouse Cards!" he exclaimed.

Annabelle tossed her head back and laughed. "You're brilliant!" she replied.

He smiled back at her, noticing how she seemed to glow in the warm candlelight. He felt like he was seeing her for the first time as she turned and listened intently to Phillip's joke, then lit up again in laughter. She seemed to become more beautiful every time he looked at her, and not just because of her appearance and her unassuming charm.

She wasn't like any of the girls that had shown interest in him before, he thought to himself. In fact, it took a long time for her show any interest in him at all, but when she finally did it was like a door had unexpectedly opened and what was behind the door was exhilarating. She didn't put on an act for people. She was authentic and unspoilt; and the way she'd cast aside all her previous judgements and accepted him freely had been an incredible blessing.

And even though he was aware that their upbringings had been like night and day, they both knew pain. They both knew fear and what it took to overcome it. They seemed to understand each other in a way no one else did, and they loved each other as they were. He swallowed hard as her paper crown slipped over her eyes, and as her willowy fingers pushed it back, she glanced at him as though she sensed he was watching her. He looked down, but then met her eyes again. A slight smile formed on his lips, and her expression mirrored his.

He was bewitched in every sense of the word.

A cheer erupted as the flaming puddings were brought out, snapping him out of his reverie. After the pudding, Madam Pomfrey, Josephine, and another Ravenclaw named Rebecca stood up to sing. Annabelle and Sirius exchanged dubious glances, as though they didn't know if they'd be able to keep from bursting out in laughter. Yet the trio began to sing in perfect harmony an angelic version of "The Holly and the Ivy." It was so lovely that everyone in the room was mesmerised by it and Annabelle thought it was the most beautiful rendition of the song she'd ever heard.

The enchantment of the moment ended however, when the applause died down and Zelda and Twyla stood up. They had been choreographing a dance routine the day before in the Great Hall; Annabelle had watched them as Zelda kept bossing Twyla around and telling her she was doing it wrong. Was this the reason for the dance? A Christmas Day performance? Again Sirius and Annabelle looked to each other, this time their eyes wide with a mixture of horror and hilarity. The professors looked on unaware, probably assuming they were going to sing a Christmas carol, while the students scattered between them fought the urge to snicker. The girls stood side by side and Zelda's countenance turned solemn while Twyla had a harder time not grinning.

As soon as Zelda started to sing the words, " _Can you hear the drums, Fernando_?" Annabelle knew that if she looked at Sirius it would be over for both of them. They would die laughing right there at the Christmas Feast while hearing Zelda and Twyla sing "Fernando," by ABBA. She pursed her lips tightly and looked up at the ceiling, willing herself not to laugh as Twyla chimed in softly and completely out of tune. The only one who seemed to be truly enjoying it was their deaf Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor who smiled and bobbed his head as they butchered the song.

It wasn't until they got to the chorus that the dance moves materialised, and that was when Annabelle accidentally made eye contact with Nico, who had looked up after having his head glued to the table in order to stop himself from laughing. Annabelle choked back her laughter and looked down, begging herself not to burst, then felt a foot nudge hers under the table. She knew without looking that it was Sirius egging her on, and she nudged him back in warning. She made the mistake of giving him a sideways glance and they both coughed in laughter as they tried to contain it, their shoulders shaking while they attempted to cover their mouths in a casual manner.

Madame Pomfrey, who looked confused, was heard asking Josephine, "This isn't a Christmas carol, is it?"

Annabelle thought she was going to have to leave the table. Sirius was biting his lower lip and she could see he was trying to breathe through it. Thankfully, the torture finally ended and Hagrid stood up in a standing ovation. Annabelle, Sirius, and Nico followed suit, whistling for them with Gryffindor pride.

"Encore!" Sirius shouted and whistled some more. Thankfully they didn't oblige his request.

As they were sitting back down, Phillip the Slytherin muttered, "Gryffindorks."

Sirius narrowed his eyes and said, "What was that?"

"Nothing," Phillip answered, grinning but unable to look at Sirius directly.

"That took a lot of courage for them to get up there," Annabelle said, offended by the remark and rather disappointed in Phillip who had seemed rather sweet until that moment.

"It's easy to talk shite from the safety of your chair," Sirius added. "But, bravery is a Gryffindor trait, isn't it?"

"You were all laughing, too," Phillip muttered.

"They're _our_ housemates," Nico replied. " _We_ can laugh at them. YOU can't."

Phillip looked like he wanted to respond but didn't have the nerve.

"You shouldn't repeat things like that just because some of your older housemates say them," Annabelle scolded. "Have a mind of your own."

"All right, I'm sorry," he groaned, clearly only saying it so they would shut up about it.

He was only eleven, after all, so they let it go. He was lucky, Annabelle thought. If he'd been a bit older, Sirius wouldn't have let it go so easily. He barely tolerated most Slytherins on a good day, but after what his family put him through, she'd hate to be in the shoes of the next one that wound him up.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When the feast ended, the students were sent back to their common rooms for the night. They were allowed to stay up late, but Professor McGonagall expressly forbid them from roaming the corridors. Annabelle found it odd that she eyed her and Sirius when she issued the warning. The students dispersed, but before they followed the others, Annabelle decided to inquire about London again.

"Sorry to bother you, Professor, but did you speak to Professor Dumbledore about London yet?" she asked cautiously.

Professor McGonagall looked frazzled and exhausted. It was no wonder, Annabelle thought. She seemed to be busy all the time. It was as though she didn't get a break of her own, always on the go, organising trips and activities, and just generally running the show. Annabelle suddenly felt a twinge of pity for her and regretted asking.

"Yes, London," she said. "He said it would be fine, but please don't tell the younger students. I'm not sure they need to go along."

"I hope it's not too much trouble," Annabelle replied, bursting on the inside with excitement.

"It's no trouble," she replied. "Now please go up to your common room. I don't like the idea of those three alone together."

"Yes, Ma'am," Annabelle replied, "And thank you."

"Merry Christmas, Professor," Sirius said, and the two sauntered off cheerfully to Gryffindor Tower.

When they reached the common room, Annabelle poked her head in. Zelda and Twyla were sitting together at a table playing a peaceful game of gobstones. Nico must have gone to bed. Sirius and Annabelle sat down on the steps just outside knowing better than to run off somewhere. Professor McGonagall had looked so tired, and it wouldn't be right to disobey her just then.

Sirius leaned back with his elbows on the steps behind them and gave her hair a playful tug.

"Look at you, so happy about London."

Annabelle smiled. "I hope she lets us go to Hampstead Village. I've been feeling homesick for it."

"That will be our first request. When was the last time you were there?"

"Three or four years ago I think…. Even though the house was sold ages ago, I've been dreaming about it… about the neighbourhood… my primary school friends who I never saw again after everything happened. Not that I'd have a clue how to find them now, but I am desperate to go back… just to be there."

"It will be nice to see where you grew up," Sirius said. "You think McGonagall will be hovering over us the whole time?"

"I hope not," Annabelle replied. "I am thinking we can twist her arm into letting us go on our own for an hour or so, but if she wants to hover, so be it. I'll take what I can get."

After a moment, she asked, "So… how did you like spending Christmas Day at the castle?"

"Actually, that was the nicest Christmas I've ever had," Sirius replied.

"I'm happy to hear that. Did you get everything you wanted?"

"Nearly."

"Nearly?"

Sirius sat up straighter and took Annabelle's hand in both of his, then gently brought it to his lips. His eyes met hers as he kissed it, and Annabelle stopped breathing for a moment. Then he leaned in close and gently kissed her. It was as though every nerve ending in her body had responded and as the kiss deepened so did her desire to be with him, in his bed, in his arms.

"Come to my room tonight, Annie?" he whispered against her lips, his eyes still closed as he brushed his nose against hers. It was like he had read her mind.

"You are relentless."

"We don't have to do anything," he said. "Just be with me."

As they kissed again, she actually considered the previously unthinkable; sneaking into the boys' dorms at night and slipping into bed with one of its residents. He put his hand on her knee and began to slowly move it up her thigh, under her dress. She breathed deeply as he kissed her jawline and she wondered when the interruption would occur. Where was McGonagall? Where was Peeves? Their three young housemates? Even Drusilla's sage voice had grown silent in her head. Another question occurred to her then, why was she looking for an interruption when everything felt so right?

And then it happened. There was sudden blasting noise from the common room, loud enough that it could probably be heard in other parts of the castle. Sirius and Annabelle both jumped in alarm, instinctively covered their ears, and rushed inside. Twyla, and Zelda were standing by the radio, wands in hand as they covered their ears tightly. The radio was at a volume higher than it was made to go, louder than ears were meant to hear.

"WE USED THE SONORUS CHARM TO TURN IT UP! AND WE DON'T KNOW THE COUNTER SPELL!" Zelda yelled.

" _QUIETUS_!" Annabelle and Sirius shouted at the same time, using only their hands to cast the spell.

There was and abrupt silence. Nico came down the stairs to see what happened. The poor kid looked tired.

"Wow, you can do wandless magic," Zelda said.

"Sometimes," Annabelle snarled. "Only when something really vexing is happening like you using _Sonorus_ improperly on a radio. Whose brilliant bloody idea was that?"

"Mine," Zelda replied, sheepishly. "We didn't feel like getting up to adjust the volume so I thought I'd try the charm. We just learnt it last week."

"You better hope you didn't wake McGonagall," Sirius said, "because we aren't taking the blame for you."

"I think it's time for bed," Annabelle advised, "before we all get into trouble."

The girls were about to protest when Nearly Headless Nick flew through the wall, startling Annabelle.

"I don't mean to alarm," he said, "but I have a message to deliver. Professor McGonagall would appreciate it terribly if you would stop the racket and go to bed this instant!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and Annabelle said, "Of course. Please let her know we are very sorry for the noise," then looking at Zelda, continued, "and it _won't_ happen again."

They did as they were ordered, and went to bed for the night. Annabelle couldn't sleep though. She wondered if Sirius was still awake, and if he was still hoping she'd come to him. She thought of the countless girls that would have killed to be in her shoes and would have taken advantage of this situation already, and they barely even knew him. Of course, these girls were only infatuated by him; his physical appearance and his brooding, unattainable nature being the main draw. That had never been enough for Annabelle, but when she'd discovered the human being inside of him, of course she allowed herself to appreciate his physical form and beauty as well. It would have been impossible to ignore it. And she was his girlfriend now, so why hadn't she gone to him yet?

She remembered a couple years ago when Septima Scroggie compared him a Greek god. Annabelle's response was to ask, "Which one? Hades?"

"Hades was well fit, Annabelle," she had said in response.

"Yes, but he was cruel," Annabelle had countered.

She could understand how being compared to a Greek god would get old fast. It was too much to live up to for anyone. At the very least, Septima should have compared him to a demi-god; divine in his beauty, his athleticism, his intelligence, yet unmistakably human in his temper, his impulsiveness, and his raging hormones that Annabelle had firsthand experience with. Perhaps the biggest indicator of his mortality, and the one Annabelle found the most endearing, was his profound sensitivity that he tried so hard to conceal behind a façade of aloofness. She recognised that his determination to keep people out was just an attempt to avoid more hurt, and she felt privileged to be one of the select few allowed to see behind the mask. His trust was a gift that he didn't bestow lightly and she would do whatever it took to protect it.

Besides, she knew he would do the same for her and that he would never intentionally hurt her. She could feel how much he loved her that night, she knew it was real, and she just wanted to lay down next to him and hold him in her arms.

She got up from her bed and opened her trunk, took out her grandfather's invisibility cloak and shrouded herself in the delicate fabric. She paused, reminded herself to breathe, and headed for the staircase.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius was lying on his back, staring up at the faint orange glow from the stove that speckled the ceiling. Annabelle hadn't said she would come to his room. She'd called him relentless, yet she'd kissed him in a way that made him believe she wanted to. Still, she hadn't made an appearance. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it seemed like it was long enough that she would have decided to join him by then, if she was planning to at all. He knew without a doubt that she had talked herself out of it. Sighing softly, his arms and his heart aching for her, he rolled over and went to sleep.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle barely got past the first step when she felt her nerves getting the better of her. The reasons she shouldn't go to him came rushing into her brain. Her legs felt weak and she sat down and leaned her head against the cool stone wall. First of all, going into the boys' dorms was strictly forbidden. The two times Johnny B. had dragged her and Lily to his room to talk in private, she'd felt panicky the entire time, like someone was going to tell on them and they'd be known forever as the girls that went into the boys' dorms. It was illicit and wrong, wasn't it? But nothing felt wrong with Sirius. It had all felt unequivocally right.

Secondly, what if Professor McGonagall found out somehow? The woman was wily and intuitive and Annabelle would die of shame if she caught her going up there in the middle of the night. Yet, her instincts told her that she was sleeping, too worn out from the festivities to bother checking on them, which was why she'd sent Sir Nick when she'd sensed chaos ensuing in the common room. And Annabelle was wearing her cloak… no one would see her.

Why was she so hesitant then? Annabelle pondered this question. She was deeply in love with Sirius, and she knew she had nothing to fear with him. He'd even said they didn't have to do anything, but even as she thought it, she knew neither of them would be able to resist. And then she thought of her mother. Colleen O'Neill had been sixteen when she lost control of her life. Sixteen when she started sneaking out of her parents' house, going to parties, dabbling in substance abuse, and more than likely climbing into beds with boys.

Sixteen. Annabelle's age.

"I don't want to be like her," she whispered to herself.

Thoughts of her mother flooded her head then; the heartache she'd caused her parents so devastating it put Annabelle's grandmother in an early grave. The stench of smoke and alcohol on her rail thin body when she'd make a surprise appearance and the sorrow and guilt in her grandfather's eyes when he was forced to send his sick, lost daughter away to protect his granddaughter.

Annabelle had already been drunk that year, and even though it hadn't happened again, she recalled how easy it was just to accept the drinks she was offered. How after the third one she'd probably have drunk anything handed to her, no questions asked. And how many times had her mother told herself at sixteen that this boy was worth it? That this one loved her? It had to have started somewhere, with one boy. Had she loved him? Maybe risky behaviour and addiction was genetic and Annabelle was doomed to walk the same path no matter how careful she was.

She stood up, her knees shaking, and returned to her room. She folded the cloak, put it back inside her trunk, and crawled into bed, while thoughts of her mother and her demons plagued her, just as they had when she was a child. Maybe they always would.

 


	45. Permanent Ghosts

_.-.-.-.-.-._

_"_ _What we remember from childhood we remember forever — permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen." ~Cynthia Ozick_

_.-.-.-.-.-._

The next few days passed much the same as the previous ones. Annabelle and Sirius were kept busy supervising the younger students, and when they weren't, they were running errands for the professors and rarely getting a moment alone together. Annabelle felt bad that she hadn't told Sirius why she never went up to his room on Christmas night, but he didn't question her about it. At first she worried that he was tiring of her waffling back and forth, but he was still very interested in kissing her whenever the opportunity presented itself, which wasn't as often as either of them would have liked.

They had written to their friends, letting them know they'd be in London on Saturday. Remus would try to join them for a few hours, but a full moon was approaching and he didn't know if he'd feel up to it. Peter said he wasn't interested in hanging around muggle London. Sirius translated that as Peter being _afraid_ to hang around muggle London. Lily would be there, but her mum was forcing her to ride with Petunia whose boyfriend was giving her a ride back to London the same day. James' parents had offered to take her by side-along apparition, but even after much pleading, her mum said no. She felt that Lily and Petunia needed some "bonding time." Vernon would be arriving very early, which meant Lily had to get up early as well, but she'd be at the Leaky Cauldron by eleven AM and the Potters would take her home later. Alice and Frank said they could make it, as well as Johnny B.

Annabelle was giddy with excitement. In a day's time, she'd be in London. Goodness, she hoped Professor McGonagall didn't keep them on too tight a leash, because she wanted to do as much as possible in the time they had there. She was also looking forward to seeing the others. A week had passed, but it felt much longer than that in some ways and she missed them.

"As long as we don't hang around Diagon Alley too much," Sirius said. "Not interested in running into any members of my _former_ family."

They were on the sofa in the common room, Sirius with his head in her lap as she leisurely stroked his silken mop of hair back from his face. Zelda, Twyla, and Nico were outside in the snow with some of the other students. The fire was so warm and cosy and they just couldn't be bothered to get all bundled up to join them. It was the first moment's peace they'd had in a while.

"I don't want to spend a second longer than I have to in Diagon Alley," Annabelle replied. "As convenient as it is, it's not London to me."

"Good," he said. He closed his eyes; the feeling of her fingers gently rubbing his scalp making him sleepy.

"I just remembered something," Annabelle said. "You have some pictures to show me."

Sirius sighed as a cynical grin appeared on his lips.

"I'll understand if you don't want to," Annabelle assured him. "If it's too soon-"

He sat up slowly and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. "It's as good a time as any I suppose. Want to come upstairs with me to see them?"

Her smile disappeared then. "Or you could just bring them down?" she asked nervously.

"Annabelle. Do you think there's a boggart up there or something? Just pretend you are going to Johnny B.'s room." When she didn't respond, he searched her face for some clue that might lead him to what was making her so hesitant. She looked away, and he took her hand. "Listen, it's just to look at pictures. I have no ulterior motive here."

She appeared to be contemplating his suggestion, then finally looked at him and muttered, "Fine."

"Really?"

"I want to see the pictures, so…."

He felt like he was bribing her. "Forget it." He felt bad for making her uncomfortable. "I will go get them. Wait right here."

Annabelle felt like a big baby. If she could go to Johnny B.'s room, then she could go to Sirius' room to look at pictures. "Wait," she said, standing up. "It's fine. We're just looking at pictures."

"I don't want you to feel anxious," he said. "Are you sure?" Why she would feel anxious with him he didn't know, and it was beginning to sting a little. It was like she was afraid of him, and he couldn't pinpoint what he'd done to make her feel that way. After she hadn't come to his room Christmas night, he figured he'd drop the subject. If she wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. But the way her whole body had tensed up at the mention of going up to his room…. He wished she'd open up and just talk about it with him.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said as she started walking toward the boys' staircase. "But let's hurry before the others get back. They don't need to catch me up there."

"Okay, let's go," Sirius said, leading the way.

Annabelle had her arms crossed protectively over her, her legs shaking the entire way up the stairs. As they reached Johnny B.'s room, her heart began to pound. Rationally, she knew she was being ridiculous and when they arrived at Sirius' room, her curiosity began to surpass her nerves as she looked around. In a million years, this was the last room she ever thought she'd be standing in.

"You're lucky," she said. "Only four people in your room."

"We have less boys in our year, so…" he glanced at her, making sure she was okay. "Can you guess who sleeps where?"

She smiled and took a few more steps toward the stove, turning to her right to the bed closest to the door. She saw the chess trophy and pointing to it, said, "That's Peter."

"Right, you are."

She looked at the next bed with the framed Ballycastle Bats poster hanging above it.

"That's yours," she said, blushing a little.

"Well done," he said, smiling impishly. "What gave it away?"

She grinned and took a few steps to the left, moving behind Sirius to the other side of the stove. The bed next to Sirius' had a Gryffindor Quidditch pennant on the wall and the familiar leather bound binder on the table that had the words _Captain's Manual_ embossed in gold along the spine.

"James," she said, then pointed at the last one on the far left, a pile of books on the night table, the bed flawlessly made, and said, "Remus."

"Hmm, have you been in here before? You seem to know this room rather intimately," he teased, and she shot him the side eye. "All right, all right," he said. "No jokes. Just pictures."

He went to his night table and opened the drawer, pulling out the stack of pictures Annabelle had found in his rucksack almost a week prior. He sat down on the bed and when she didn't move, he said, "Come on, then. I don't bite."

She sat down next to him and he exclaimed, "Oh my god! Annabelle O'Neill's on my bed! I'm telling! Professor! Come quick!"

She tightened her lips in an attempt not to laugh at his derision, and he said, "Sorry, I just couldn't resist. Here you go. The pictures you requested."

As she took the pictures from him, she noticed the family portrait was still on the top of the pile, and she found it just as haunting as she had when she first laid eyes on it in the St. Mungo's emergency room.

"That's me and my fucked up family," he said matter-of-factly. "A cheerful lot, don't you think?"

Annabelle felt nothing but revulsion when she looked at it. She couldn't make light of it.

"This picture makes my heart hurt," she said.

"Well, we'd better put them back then, because they don't get much better. Believe it or not, these were the best of the bunch."

"You resemble your father and your brother. Your mum, not so much."

"That's something to be grateful for anyway," he said. She could tell he was making jokes to ease the anxiety the picture was causing him. She quickly flipped to the next one. It was baby Sirius, wearing a dress like they put on baby boys in the 1800's. His expression started off with a faint, innocent smile, but then he became frightened and he started to cry. It was as though someone had startled him on purpose. It was a cruel image.

"How old are you here?"

"One," he replied. "I was quite the happy baby."

"Such a sweet face, as always," she said.

She was starting feel a little nauseated. She flipped to the next one. In it, a young Sirius stood next to a skeletal, leering man with thinning grey hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He had his arm around the boy, his fingers repeatedly digging deeply into him. Sirius had his shoulders hunched meekly, a desperation in his eyes that made Annabelle think of an abused animal and how it cowers in an attempt to avoid being harmed. After every dig of the fingers, Sirius' young face would wince ever so slightly.

"That's our tutor, Master Bludscrape. He was a regular ball of laughs, that one," Sirius said. "I think my mother fancied him." Annabelle's stomach lurched at the thought of him spending his days with this man. Even his name frightened her.

"How old are you here?"

"I think I was seven."

She moved on to the next one. It was another formal portrait, this one of Sirius, who looked to be a toddler, side by side with his brother on a large wooden chair. Again, the old-fashioned clothing and blank expressions; two sets of dark grey eyes that blinked in fear and confusion.

"Purebloods have a thing for nineteenth century fashion," he joked.

Annabelle couldn't laugh. "You were a darling baby," she said sadly, wishing she could have said _happy_ as well. She quickly moved on, feeling like she'd made a mistake in asking to see the old photos. The next one was of Sirius and a wizard who appeared to be in his thirties. He had the same eyes as Sirius, and he was holding him on his lap. Both the child and the man had similar hollow expressions, as though they were defeated and going through the motions of posing for a picture.

"My Uncle Alphard," he said. "He's always been sort of a misfit, which is probably why he's the only member of my family I ever got on with, besides my cousin Andy."

The last picture was a relief of sorts, because in it, Sirius didn't look like his spirit was being crushed in some tragic way. He looked to be about five, and was holding hands with a middle-aged witch who was wearing an apron and smiling down at him. His face started out distant and frightened, but then her lips would move and he'd look up to her in a smile.

"You're happy in this one," she observed.

"That was my favourite nanny," he said. "She used to tell me stories and bring me warm milk at bed time. And if I wet the bed, she wouldn't tell my parents. They sacked her after six months because they claimed she was too soft on us."

"What would they have done if they'd known you wet the bed?" she asked, instantly regretting the question. When he didn't respond, she looked at him. He was biting the corner of his bottom lip as his eyes met hers. She had her answer.

"But kids wet the bed sometimes," she said, getting upset. "It's normal! How could they be so-?" Her voice caught then and her brow furrowed deeply. Sirius was staring ahead, his countenance eerily resembling the troubled one he wore in most of the pictures. It was all so fresh for him still, and she felt guilty for insisting on seeing the photos.

"Sirius?"

"Uh huh?" he muttered absently, turning to look at her.

"I'm sorry I made you show these to me."

His face softened. "It's all right, Annabelle. I don't mind showing you. But, now, these are going away where nobody else will ever see them."

Her heart throbbed again when he said that. If it hurt her to look at those photos, they must have dredged up some torturous memories for him. Yet he'd willingly shared them with her and her alone. She looked into his eyes, those beautiful eyes and the pain they held, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her in a hug. He immediately slipped his arms around her and squeezed her back. She choked back her urge to cry, but the tears spilled out anyway.

"Please, don't cry," he said softly.

"I love you more than you'll ever know."

"I do know, Annie, I do."

When Annabelle let go, Sirius took her face in his hands and wiped her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. His eyes glistened with wetness as well, but he laughed a little and said, "You're even pretty when you're a sappy mess."

"You're biased," she said.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead, but quickly remembered that they were only there to look at pictures. He got up then, offering her a hand, and when she took it, he said, "Let's go. I want to see your childhood pictures now."

She stood up and said, "That won't be boring for you?"

"Boring? You must be joking." He tugged her toward the stairs and they made their way back to the common room, which was still empty.

Their timing was perfect though, because soon Zelda and Twyla popped in and told them Professor McGonagall wanted to see them. Annabelle was horror-stricken.

"Do you think she knew I was in your room somehow?" she asked Sirius as they made their way to her office.

He shook his head nervously. "No. No way. It's just a coincidence."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Professor McGonagall was clutching a handkerchief and looking rather drawn and sickly when she answered her door.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," she said and then stopped to cough into her hanky before continuing, "but I'm afraid I won't be able to escort you to London tomorrow. I've taken rather ill it seems; these blooming sinuses of mine."

Annabelle's face registered the gutting disappointment that seemed to punch her in the stomach. Sirius took her hand and squeezed it as he responded to Professor McGonagall.

"Sorry that you're ill, Professor, but isn't there anyone else that could take us?" he implored. "Hagrid maybe?"

Professor McGonagall sighed. "I am very sorry, but I cannot ask any of the other faculty members to go out of their way, on their holiday, to chaperone students in a city as sprawling as London."

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly at the older witch. He almost snapped, _But you can force US to chaperone students on OUR holiday._ Annabelle began to tug his arm.

"We understand… I hope you feel better, ma'am," she said, her voice slightly strangled as the urge to weep fought to escape her throat.

"Again, I'm very sorry," Professor McGonagall said, but Annabelle, having let go of Sirius' hand, had already started walking away. Sirius caught up with her and swung an arm around her. When they were a fair distance from Professor McGonagall's office, she stopped in her tracks and threw her hands over her face, her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs.

"Annabelle. Look at me," he said. She dropped her hands and took a deep breath, but the concern with which he regarded her made her start crying again. He pulled her to him and rubbed the back of her head as she buried her face in his chest.

"This place is like a prison, sometimes," she said.

Sirius held her tighter. "This day has been cruel to you."

"I guess we should go to the owlery and tell everyone we won't be there after all."

He pulled back and looked at her. "Why would we do that?"

She blinked at him in confusion. "You heard her. No one can take us."

"Let's just go anyway," he replied enthusiastically. "She's the only one who's been keeping tabs on us, and if she's sick, she won't be doing that tomorrow, will she?"

"But Zelda and Twyla, they'll notice we're gone. They're too naïve to mind their own business."

Sirius scowled at the thought of the little busybodies. He took his hands off Annabelle and shoved them into his pockets as he paced a few steps and contemplated the situation. He had to find a way to get her there; she had been eagerly anticipating it all week, and he wouldn't accept defeat. Her disappointment was breaking his heart. Dumbledore had said that his door was always open to him. Sirius figured if there was ever a time to take advantage of the old wizard's compassion, or maybe his guilt for not stepping in sooner with Sirius' parents, it was right then.

"Fuck it," he said. "I'm going to Dumbledore."

"What? No… He won't take us to London."

"I don't expect him to," he said. "I expect him to let us go on our own."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Dumbledore welcomed them into his office, and, as always, offered them lemon drops. When they passed, he shrugged and popped one into his mouth.

"To what do I owe this honour, Mr. Black and Miss O'Neill?"

Sirius steeled himself. "London, sir."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and asked, "London?"

"Yes, sir," Sirius said, glancing at Annabelle whose frown made his chest hurt. "Professor McGonagall had planned to go with us tomorrow, to London that is. We've been looking forward to it all week, and our mates are meeting us there at eleven o'clock."

"That sounds like a lovely plan. What's the problem?"

"Professor McGonagall has taken ill, sir. Her sinuses or something… Anyway, she can't go with us now."

"She can't go with you now," Dumbledore repeated slowly.

"Right," Sirius replied, wondering if the old man had lost the plot. "We can't go to London now, sir."

Dumbledore eyed Annabelle who was quietly hunched over in her chair, looking forlorn. "Poor Professor McGonagall," he said. "I'm always telling her to relax a bit before she works herself to death. She doesn't listen."

"The thing is, sir," Sirius continued, "Annabelle has been homesick, and her heart's been set on this. We're sixteen. In another year and half we'll be on our own." He hesitated a moment, wishing Dumbledore would catch on and suggest they go alone without him having to ask.

"What is your point, son?"

Sirius sighed in frustration and blurted out, "My point is that we don't need her to chaperone us. Why is it a problem if we just went on our own? If we still lived there, it's what we'd be doing anyway."

Annabelle froze as she watched Dumbledore lean back in his chair and clasp his hands together, resting them on his stomach.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea," he said. "How can I be sure you will be safe?"

"All due respect, sir, but I know London like the back of my hand," Sirius said. "I've successfully navigated the city alone many times. We'd only be going to a few places and we both know how to use the muggle transportation system."

"Yes, but I think it bears mentioning that you are not, in fact, muggles. What if you unintentionally give yourselves away?"

"I haven't given myself away yet," Sirius replied, "And Annabelle was raised like a muggle; she knows how to blend in."

Annabelle decided to help the cause, now that it appeared Dumbledore was actually entertaining the idea. "That's right," she said. "Really, sir. I haven't forgot how they live."

Dumbledore glanced at them both uneasily. Sirius sensed he was on the fence about it. He had to say something that would make a difference.

"Frank Longbottom will be there! He's training to be an Auror," he said eagerly.

"He's at the top of his trainee class," Annabelle added. "He's already been sent on missions!"

For a long moment, the old wizard seemed to scrutinise them with his light blue eyes as he considered the information, and they both thought for sure he was about to say no. Then his expression relaxed and he replied, "Why didn't you mention that in the first place? I trust Frank Longbottom implicitly and I foresee no reason any danger should come to you if he is there."

Annabelle and Sirius traded hopeful glances.

"So does that mean…?" Sirius began.

"I suspect you'll want to use the Floo Network to get there," Dumbledore said.

Annabelle's eyes widened as she beamed with excitement. When Sirius saw her face he smiled too.

"Yes, sir," answered Sirius.

Dumbledore took out an envelope and spooned some floo powder into it from the bowl on his desk, then sealed it and handed it to Sirius. "I can think of many reasons why I should not allow this, but you've made a strong case for yourselves." Then he sighed wistfully and after a reflective pause, he said, "Of course, all young birds must learn to fly by themselves at some point. It seems like only yesterday you were first-years. Where does the time go?"

Sirius and Annabelle looked at each other, uncertain as to whether or not they should respond, but then Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued. "It is my duty to remind you to be extremely vigilant. Stay away from the more hazardous parts of town, and stay out of Knockturn Alley. But you know this already, I'm sure."

"We do," Sirius said. "And we'll stay together, we won't talk to strangers, and we won't do anything illegal."

The corner of Dumbledore's mouth curved into a shrewd smile, then he got up and walked over to a small safe that he unlocked with a flick of his fingers. They heard coins clinking around and then he shut the safe and approached Annabelle. She stood up respectfully.

"This means, Miss O'Neill, that you'll be requiring your allowance for January a bit ahead of schedule." He handed her a small velvet pouch, heavy with coins. "I've included some muggle money. It will save you some time that would otherwise be spent at Gringotts queuing at the exchange counter. Whatever you don't use, just return it to me and I will exchange it back to sickles for you."

"Thank you, sir," she replied.

"Oh, and here's a bit extra," he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a 20p coin. "Please pick up some Spangles for me if you see them. Delicious sweets they are, but only available to muggles. Such a pity."

Annabelle took the coin and added it to her pouch. "Thank you, sir. Thank you so much!" she said, unable to contain her exuberance.

"I must insist that you not tell anyone about this, besides your friends of course," he warned them. "I cannot have students requesting to go to London every day."

"We won't. We promise," Annabelle replied.

"Thank you, sir," Sirius said. They headed for the door and Sirius turned to Dumbledore and added, "Don't worry, I won't take any chances. Not with Annabelle."

"I believe you, Sirius. See you here at eleven. I will escort you to the Leaky Cauldron myself. I'd like to say hello to Frank."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Once the office door closed behind them, Annabelle squealed with delight and threw her arms around Sirius. He hugged her tightly and lifted her off the floor.

"You did it!" she exclaimed. "You actually did it! We're going to London with no chaperone!"

"Yeah," he said as he set her back down, "the way we should be going. If you lived in London still, I guarantee you would not require a chaperone to walk around your own neighbourhood. I certainly didn't."

"You're right," she said. "What would I do without you?"

He smiled bashfully. "Fortunately you don't have to worry about that. Come on, I still want to see your pictures."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Annabelle went to her room and pulled out her photo album from deep inside her trunk. She hadn't looked at it in ages, and she began to feel the inconsolable homesickness creeping in. _Tomorrow. You will be there tomorrow,_ she told herself, and brought the book down to Sirius, who was waiting on the sofa. She opened the book between them on their laps.

"Wow," he said, focusing on a photo of her grandparents. "The famous Darien O'Neill, or infamous if you lived at my house. Is that your grandmother?"

"Yes, that's granny. Her name was Margaret, but everyone called her Peggy."

Sirius felt a twinge of guilt. Regulus had already told him her grandmother's name, thanks to his scheming father and his ministry connections who felt it was his place to investigate his son's girlfriend. He didn't think he needed to tell her about that, but he felt bad about it just the same.

"Let's skip ahead," Annabelle said anxiously, reaching for the page in an attempt to turn it.

Sirius looked at her suspiciously. "What is it you don't want me to see?"

She let go of the page then and said, "Nothing really. It's just a bunch of people you don't know."

"Annabelle, why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Hide the truth from me. It's bloody hurtful, if I'm being honest."

Annabelle didn't realise she'd hurt his feelings and she began to feel remorseful for shutting him out. She must have been crazy to think he couldn't see through her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that there's a few pictures of my mum in there, looking like a train wreck as usual. And the truth is, I'm rather embarrassed."

"You shouldn't be. Not with me, but we can skip them if it makes you feel better."

"I'd rather you see her when she wasn't strung out on something."

She turned to a page that featured a newborn Annabelle, cradled in her young mother's arms. Her mother looked tired, but was smiling down at the serene, pink face peeking up from a swaddling blanket.

"Now _that_ is a heartwarming photo," Sirius said.

"That was when she was clean," Annabelle replied. "A few months later she was back at it though." She flipped the page and relaxed a little because there were no more photos of her mother. She was mostly absent from Annabelle's life from that point on, and when she did make her surprise appearances, they weren't events to photograph for posterity's sake.

"Well, look at you, aren't you adorable," he said, pointing to a picture of her grandfather holding a three-year-old Annabelle, her hair in bunches. Darien O'Neill, seemingly young to be a grandfather, was dressed in tweed trousers and a tweed cap with a pipe in between his smiling teeth.

"I remember that pipe. He quit it when I was five. Wasn't he grand in his tweed?" She was feeling nostalgic.

"He was grand, full stop. Who is this little chap I see making a repeated appearance?" Sirius pointed to a photo of an eight-year-old Annabelle sitting next to a smiling sandy-haired boy who was holding a football. They appeared to be in a park of some sort.

"Oh, that's Matthew," she said, smiling warmly. "Or Matty as we called him. He was my next door neighbour. He was a year ahead at school, but it didn't matter. We were at each other's houses all the time."

"Have you kept in touch with him?"

"Sadly, no. I was only ten when everything happened, and it was all such a blur. Before I knew it I was at Miss Pennifold's house, then at my mum's, and they didn't live nearby. Once I was here, I figured muggles might not take kindly to owls dropping off letters, so I lost touch rather quickly with everyone I knew then. It's like a separate life to me, really."

"That's too bad," said Sirius. He thought of how awful it must have been for her when her grandfather died and her mostly stable and happy world turned upside down. Her life hadn't all been roses, he knew that. "And the round white ball he's holding? What kind of ball is that?"

"Merlin, you purebloods are so bloody sheltered," Annabelle said. "It's a football. You know, footy? You must have at least heard about the sport. Matthew was as obsessed with football as you are quidditch."

Sirius paused before a mischievous smile spread across his lips. Annabelle already knew she'd been had as he laughed and said, "Got you again, Annie, my dear. Please don't ever stop being so easy to tease."

She smiled in spite of herself. "So you know football?"

"Most purebloods at least know what it is, even if we don't really know how to play. My parents didn't exactly sign me up for the local youth league, if you know what I mean. And we couldn't follow it without a telly. But I do know what the ball looks like. It's a rather soft sport isn't it? Not very dangerous, yeah?"

"I don't know if soft is the right word, but I guess any sport is soft compared to getting hit with Bludgers and falling off broomsticks."

"You speak the truth," he proudly agreed.

The next page had a picture of Annabelle and Matthew beaming brightly, both mouths missing a few teeth, while holding up a pair of Barbie dolls.

"That's a true friend," Sirius said. "I wouldn't even play dolls with my cousins."

"Matty and I loved our dolls. When we played Barbies, he'd always make her jump off the bonnet of his dad's car and call it skydiving. Of course, she'd always fall to her death, which made me crack up laughing for some twisted reason. His older brothers would tease him for it, but he didn't care. It was all in good fun."

"What little muggles you were," Sirius mused affectionately. "Do you think we'll see him tomorrow?"

"I guess it's possible. I could always knock on the door and see if they still live there. They owned a pub nearby, as well. Wonder if they still do."

"We'll have to stop by and have a look."

After looking at several more photos, some of Annabelle and her classmates, a few with a girl named Emma who had been Annabelle's other best friend… lively birthday parties… a holiday in Tenerife with her granddad and housekeeper, they closed the book.

"You and I couldn't have grown up more differently," Sirius said. He felt a pang of envy for the warm, contented childhood he saw illustrated in her photos. Even though they were muggle photos that didn't move like magical ones, they conveyed far more life and energy than any of his dark old photos did.

Annabelle reached out and rubbed his hand. "You have a fresh start now. You never have to look back."

"Still, I wish I could have been there with you," he said. "To think, all that time you weren't even that far away. I could have popped round and played football and Barbies with you and your Matthew."

Annabelle grinned and chuckled quietly. "I can see you playing football, but I think you'd have been rather bored with Barbies."

"You never know," he replied with a wink. "I might have charmed her to walk on her own, or I could have made her head explode. You'd have been right impressed with me."

"I'd have been terrified," she said, laughing. "But I wish you could have been there, too. We could have had tea and Jaffa Cakes in the kitchen while Mrs. Brennan washed dishes and hummed along to the radio."

"That would have been nice," he said. "Even though Jaffa Cakes are nasty."

They both laughed a little, but Annabelle began thinking about how unfair life was. She knew it must be a dismal feeling to see a mostly happy childhood while his was moulded on fear and pain. How she wished she had known him then. Her grandfather could have rescued him from the darkness like Mr. Earnshaw rescued Heathcliff in _Wuthering Heights_. Even as she thought it she knew it was just a silly fantasy. The Blacks weren't ready to unshackle Sirius at that point and they'd have murdered him straightaway if he dared set foot in Darien O'Neill's home.

She returned her album to her room. When she came back downstairs, she said, "It's dinner time. Ready to go?"

"Wait," Sirius said. "What's your rush?"

She shrugged. "No rush, just thought you'd be hungry."

He took her hand and guided her back to the sofa. She complied, and as he put his arms around her, she snuggled up against his chest.

"Why would I want to leave when I have you alone?" he asked as he kissed her head. He felt her body relax into his, and she looked up at him. He leaned in and met her lips. She slid her arms around his neck, pushing her fingers through his lush black hair as they kissed deeply. Sirius guided her onto her back, their mouths still connected. Her hands moved down his chest and under his shirt, pressing them against his bare skin. He pushed his pelvis against hers and groaned quietly, and she responded by pulling him even closer.

"Annie," he breathed, "You feel so good."

"So, do you," she whispered.

Her eyes were half-closed as she brushed her cheek against his. His hands had found their way under her top and his fingers trailed over her abdomen, dipping just below the waistband of her jeans.

"Come upstairs with me?"

She wanted to. And when they were in the throes of longing, when there was nothing stopping them, she couldn't talk herself out of it. She couldn't think of anything else but him.

"Yes," she exhaled.

They got up quickly, and he took her hand, leading her to the stairs. They almost made it to the first step when they heard two young voices singing "Super Trouper" from the girls' staircase, and Zelda and Twyla appeared.

"Where are you two going?" Zelda asked, a glint of suspicion in her eyes.

"To find you of course," Annabelle said, faking laughter in an attempt to sound casual. Instead, she ended up sounding a bit unhinged.

"And I'm off to the loo," Sirius said, and he disappeared up the boys' staircase.

"Honestly, I thought you'd be at dinner now," said Annabelle.

"Why were you looking for us then?" Twyla asked in a petulant voice.

"Em, I… I just wanted to make sure," said Annabelle. She was losing her patience. "Really, what does it matter?"

"Are you going to wait for Sirius?" asked Zelda.

Annabelle clenched her teeth. "Of course."

"We'll wait too, then."

"You don't have to!"

But the girls went and sat down at a study table, refusing to budge. A moment later, Sirius came back and said, "Still here, I see?"

Zelda and Twyla seemed puzzled by the question, and he quickly added, "Well, let's go then! Before the food gets cold."

"It never gets cold," Zelda sneered.

"Merlin! Let's just bloody well go to dinner," Annabelle said, leading the way to the door.

The girls shot a distrustful look at Sirius and with a genteel motion of his hand, he said, "Ladies first." When they turned their backs to him and headed toward the door he flipped them a two-fingered salute.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

After dinner, they'd been saddled with keeping an eye on the younger Gryffindors again. Nico went to his room while Zelda and Twyla browsed through their latest issue of _Siren_ and argued over which models were the most attractive.

Sirius lay on the sofa, his hand under his head with the other resting on his stomach. He was gazing at Annabelle, who was seated in one of the big soft chairs thinking about London.

"We'll have to get real fish-n-chips, the muggle way, served in yesterday's newspapers," she said.

"Isn't that unsanitary?" he asked in disgust.

She raised an eyebrow, a smile playing at her lips. "Live a little."

Sirius grinned and closed his eyes. He wanted to say, _how about you live a little and come to my room_ , but he didn't want to push her. He hoped that since she was willing to earlier, maybe she'd show up later once everyone had gone to bed.

"Don't you worry about that, Annie," he said. "I plan to live _a lot_ , now that I'm liberated."

"I don't doubt that for a moment," she replied. He could tell without opening his eyes that she was smiling as she said it. Oh god how he wished those kids would go to bed. The fire was so warm and his body yearned for her. He began to doze, telling himself that he would just rest until the first-years went to their dorms for the night.

Annabelle had been staring into the fire and remembering the past for quite a while when she realised the time. She looked over to find Sirius sound asleep on the sofa. The warm glow flickered across his pale skin, his dark eyelashes fluttering occasionally in a dream, and Annabelle understood like never before the tendency for girls to compare him to a god. She felt like Psyche seeing her sleeping Eros for the first time. Dreamy didn't cover it, she mused, distracted by the slight opening of his lips and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. A giggle from Zelda and Twyla jarred her from her thoughts and she shushed them.

"It's time for you to go to bed," she ordered them, trying to sound as much like Professor McGonagall as possible. "Now off you go."

The girls followed her orders, and Annabelle wondered if Professor McGonagall was feeling better. She hadn't bothered them all day except to tell them she couldn't take them to London. Annabelle hoped she was okay, but it had been nice to have an afternoon free of child-minding and entertaining the other students. She figured that since she was sick, she wouldn't be making the rounds and checking in on them.

Instead of waking Sirius, she decided to let him sleep there, since it was late and he looked so peaceful. Apparently no one else was coming to badger them to bed, or they would have already. She went to her room for some blankets, and brought them back down with her, covering him with one, and curling up in the chair with the other wrapped around her. Eventually she drifted off to sleep as well.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_"_ _Sirius," a demonic voice intones. "I warned you about crinkled parchments and splotchy ink. This assignment is unacceptable!"_

_Master Bludscrape takes the paper and balls it up, setting it aflame before it disappears. Seven-year-old Sirius fights back tears._

_"_ _Lean forward."_

_The emaciated old man wrenches Sirius' shirt up over his back, exposing his pale skin. He roughly shoves the boy's head down onto the desk. Sirius knows Regulus can heal the lashes later, after his parents have gone to bed, but it doesn't stop him from begging the tutor for mercy._

_"_ _Please, Master, I'll do it over. I won't wrinkle the parchment. I promise!"_

_"_ _Flagellus!"_

_An invisible whip flogs him across his back, dispatched from his tutor's wand. Sirius tries not to cry out. Regulus will call him soft if he cries out at the first lash._

_"_ _Flagellus!"_

_A searing pain, worse than the first, and Sirius yelps like a dog that just had its foot crushed under a heavy boot._

Sirius! Wake up!

_"_ _Flagellus!"_

_Sirius wails and pleads for an end to the assault, barely able to breathe through the searing pain._

_"_ _Please, Master! I've learned my lesson! I-"_

No one will hurt you, darling! Please, open your eyes!

_The master slices the air with his wand again. Sirius screams._

Sirius, please, look at me. Look at me!

Sirius opened his eyes, confused as to what was happening. Annabelle was on her knees next to the sofa, one arm over his chest, the other cradling his head. Her eyes were sparkling with tears. Nico stood looking over him from the back of the sofa, his face frightened, while Twyla and Zelda cowered in a corner by the hearth. His nightmare came rushing back to him then and he sat up, gripping Annabelle's face in his hands.

"I didn't hurt you did I? Oh, god, I'd never forgive myself!" he exclaimed, searching her for any evidence that he'd harmed her in his sleep.

"No, no, sweetheart, you didn't. Take a deep breath," she said as she placed her hands against his neck. His skin was clammy and she could feel his pulse pounding as she moved up to the sofa and sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," he said hoarsely, his throat feeling like he'd just swallowed a bucket full of sand. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"You couldn't help it," she said, pushing the hair off his sweaty cheeks.

"Is he going to be all right?" a shaken Zelda asked from the corner.

"Yes, Zelda," Annabelle gently reassured her. "It was a bad dream. Go back to bed."

"You all right, mate?" Nico asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, mate. Sorry I woke you. What time is it?"

"About four in the morning."

"And I was only going to rest my eyes. Why didn't you wake me, Annie?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully… I didn't think either of us would sleep that long."

He felt self-conscious all of a sudden. How loud had he been screaming? The other three students were still gawking at him like he had something wrong with him, and Annabelle was looking at him with…what was it? Pity? She'd already pitied him enough for one day. Those bloody pictures. And now he'd embarrassed himself by screaming like an infant in his sleep.

"Do you want to tell me about the dream?" she asked, the concern in her voice making him feel even more embarrassed. She looked exhausted and scared.

"Not now," he said, standing up. "You need to get some sleep so you won't be too tired for tomorrow."

Annabelle wanted to go with him, just so he wouldn't have to be alone after what she gathered was a nightmare about being beaten. She knew from experience how real nightmares could feel and how the bad feelings lingered well after the dream had ended. The other kids were still there, though, and Zelda and Twyla looked like they'd seen a banshee.

"Please go to bed," she told them as Sirius made his way toward the boys' stairs. She followed, stopping as he got to the first step.

He stood back so Nico could pass him, then crossed his arms protectively over his chest and said, "I'll be fine Annabelle. Going to try to get a few more hours before…" He almost said London, but remembered the others weren't to know. "Before tomorrow. You should, too."

"Just wait there for a moment," she told him, then turned to the girls. "Please, I'd really like it if you went to bed. Go now."

Zelda and Twyla reluctantly trudged up the stairs. Annabelle turned to Sirius who was having a hard time looking at her.

"Do you want me to come with you? Or we could stay down here if you prefer… It feels wrong leaving you alone after that."

Sirius wanted her to come to his room. He'd wanted her to all week. But he did not want her coming up there out of pity or because she thought he was some kind of coward that couldn't cope with a bad dream.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "It's almost morning. McGonagall might make an appearance, or the house-elves to tend the fire. I'll be fine. It was just a dream… nothing I can't handle."

She could tell he was trying to be strong, so to avoid making him even more uncomfortable than he already appeared to be, she yielded to his wishes and dropped the subject.

"Okay."

"Are you going to be all right?" he asked.

"Yes, of course, good night, Sirius."

She kissed him quickly on the lips then turned and went to her room. Sirius exhaled, the shame that had been creeping under his skin beginning to subside. He went to his room and took the pictures from his drawer, lighting the pile aflame with his wand before making them disappear, much the same as Master Bludscrape had done with his parchment in the dream.

After a few more restless hours of sleep, it was morning, and time to get ready for London.

 


	46. London Calling, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI readers- as per Johnny B.'s conversation with Annabelle in this chapter- I can't get on board with whole "contraceptive charm" thing that I see in so many HP fics. While I love me some magical solutions, that one just seems implausible and corny to me (aiming their wands at their bits and pieces? No. Just no.) So for this story, I am not going there. :P

At breakfast, Sirius seemed to be feeling better. Annabelle hadn't understood his reluctance to talk about his nightmare that had awakened everyone, but he was smiling and energetic that morning, so she decided not bring it up. She was annoyed that Zelda and Twyla kept whispering to each other and glancing at him like they were waiting for him to go off the deep end or something. She didn't want him to feel self-conscious like he seemed to the night before. It would ruin his good mood fast.

"I felt like an idiot after I went to bed," he said quietly.

"What for?"

"You were going to come to my room."

"You wanted to be alone. That's your right."

He hadn't wanted to be alone, not really. He regretted it as soon as he pulled the covers over him and hoped she hadn't taken it as a rejection. He had been so embarrassed, though. And one thing he'd learned in his sixteen years was not to let people see your weakness. Some people would use it to their advantage, others, like Annabelle, may come to find it a burden to be shrugged off, or loathed even. He was supposed to be strong. She wouldn't want him if he wasn't. And he wanted so much to be worthy of her.

"Next time, just ignore what I say and come to my room anyway, all right?"

Annabelle grinned and said, "All right. Because that's not a complete violation of trust or anything."

"It's not if I'm giving you permission to ignore what I say," he replied, nudging her knee playfully.

Zelda began to stir her tea, loudly clinking the spoon on the inside of the china cup. It was like nails on a chalkboard to Annabelle, who had been taught by Mrs. Brennan that one shouldn't have to hear the "clinkety clink" of someone else's spoon.

"Do you mind?" Annabelle snipped.

"What?" Zelda asked, a vacant expression on her face as she continued to stir her tea improperly.

"Do you stir your tea like that at home?"

"I'm not at home, am I?" Zelda sneered.

Annabelle narrowed her eyes at the girl. "It's bloody rude."

"You're not my mum."

All of a sudden, Sirius smacked his hand on the table and barked, "Knock it off!"

Annabelle jumped and Zelda stopped stirring. The petulant first-year looked at him like she was slightly wounded. Annabelle wasn't sure how to react. She was glad he got her to stop, but his approach could use some improvement.

"Are you all right?" Annabelle asked him quietly after Twyla and Zelda scooted down the table a little further away from her and Sirius. "You're a bit on edge."

He gave a vague shake of the head and said, "I'm fine. They are just so annoying sometimes." He ran his hand down her back and kissed her cheek. "And it got rid of them, didn't it?" he asked, trying to justify his extreme reaction.

"It did, indeed," she replied, and scooted a little closer to him.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Can you move your seat up a bit?" Lily asked from the backseat of Vernon Dursley's car. "Please Petunia? My knees are being crushed back here."

Petunia heaved an exaggerated sigh and made a big show of wrenching the seat forward.

"Happy now?" she asked harshly.

"So very happy, thank you," replied Lily.

She watched Petunia and Vernon trade irritated glances. Then Vernon turned on the car radio and started flipping channels. Lily heard a song she liked and said, "Ohh stop there, please! Bay City Rollers!"

"You're still keen on _them_?" Petunia asked, her voice clipped.

"Sort of," Lily replied. "Is that a problem?"

"Who said it was a problem? It was just a question."

When the song ended, Vernon immediately turned the station to some old-timey drivel that her grandparents used to listen to.

"That's more like it, don't you agree Tuney-dear?" he asked.

"Oh yes. Now that is much more to my liking."

_Since when?_ Lily wondered. Petunia never listened to music like that before. She had liked the Bay City Rollers herself for a while, and had a Paul McCartney and Wings poster on her bedroom wall at home.

"Your cuddly crumpet knows what you enjoy," he said in a baby voice.

Lily closed her eyes and stuck her fingers in her ears in an effort to block out the sounds emitting from his cavernous gob. It was going to be a long ride.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Eleven o'clock arrived quickly and soon Sirius and Annabelle were in Dumbledore's office.

"Ready to go, then?" he asked them. "All right, remember what we talked about, be careful and stay together. You have the Floo Powder I gave you yesterday?"

"Yes, sir," Sirius replied.

"You'll need it to return. The Leaky Cauldron always seems to be out of the stuff. All right, then, we'll go together. Elbows in and be clear when you speak."

He tossed a handful of Floo powder into the hearth and the green flames shot upwards, filling the fireplace. A few minutes later after a dizzying journey, they stepped out of the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron, brushed themselves off, and looked around for their friends.

Right then, James hopped out the fireplace, running smack into Sirius who hadn't stepped out of the way in time. The boys greeted each other with their macho handshake and touched shoulders.

"McGonagall isn't coming," Sirius told him quietly. "We're on our own."

"FUUUCK! WE'RE FREE!" James bellowed as he shot his fists into the air. Sirius nodded in Dumbledore's direction, and when James saw the old wizard he gulped and said, "Oh, hello sir, didn't see you there."

Annabelle was leaning against the bar shaking her head and hoping James didn't just ruin things for them.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore replied. "Beautiful day for a visit to London. Sunny and not too cold for December."

Sirius was trying not to laugh as James tried to recover from his flub. "Agreed sir. Can't ask for a better day. Oh, Annabelle! Didn't see you there either!"

He made his way over to her and gave her a hug. "Help me," he whispered into her ear.

She chuckled, but there was nothing she could do to help. "You're on your own."

Thankfully, Frank and Alice stepped out of the fireplace just then and Dumbledore fell into a conversation with them. Sirius leaned against the bar next to Annabelle, and James asked, "Why is Dumbledore here?"

"Probably to make sure we weren't lying when we said Frank Longbottom was coming with us," Sirius replied.

Alice made her way over to them, smiling from ear to ear. "Dumbledore said McGonagall is sick!"

"Alice, don't be so happy about someone else's suffering," Sirius teased.

"Um, I'm not happy she's sick. I am just happy we won't have to answer to anyone."

"Me too," Annabelle said. "She has been on top of us all bloody week. Do this, do that, babysit them, stuff those stockings… it's like she thinks we can't entertain ourselves."

Alice whispered to Annabelle, "Or she thinks you can and will entertain yourselves unless she keeps you occupied in other ways."

Annabelle let this theory sink in for a moment. "If that was her plan, she's succeeded."

Dumbledore said his farewells, and just as he disappeared, Annabelle called out, "Wait! What time-" but it was too late. He was gone. She turned to the others and said, "He didn't tell us what time to return to the castle."

"Better for us," Sirius replied. "Let's hope he doesn't come back now that you've gone and called for him."

"Or it's a test," Annabelle suggested, ignoring Sirius reproving tone, "to see if we are responsible enough to return at a decent hour."

"I have to be here by six," James said looking to the front door. "My dad's coming to take Lily home."

"We can't stay long," Alice said. "Frank has some work to do, but we'll come to Hampstead with you."

"You didn't tell Dumbledore you're leaving before the rest of us, did you?" Annabelle asked.

"No, Annabelle, we aren't completely daft," Alice replied.

"And don't mind me," Frank said. "I'm not going to report any of you to the ministry for whatever you choose to get up to. I am officially off duty today."

"I see Alice has warned you about us," James said, a smug grin forming on his face.

"Someone had to," she said.

"GOD BLESS US, EVERY ONE!" a voice shouted from the fireplace. Johnny B. came rushing over, pulling a tired looking Remus behind him. After hugs and greetings, he pointed at Remus and said, "I almost had to abduct this party-pooper here."

Remus smiled good-naturedly and said, "My parents didn't appreciate him literally popping in unexpectedly and illegally, I might add, but I guess they thought I needed to get out, because they let me go with the tosser. I only have a few hours though and then my dad will be meeting me here to take me home."

"I have a very trustworthy face," Johnny B. said. "I knew they would say yes when they saw me. Where the hell is Lily?"

"I'm going to wait out front for her," James said. "I don't trust her bitch sister not to run her over with the car."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Turn here," Lily said.

"But the A-Z says it's this way," Petunia insisted as she waved her book of London maps over her head.

"I've been here loads of times. Just turn the car!"

Vernon jerked the steering wheel and the tires screeched as they arrived in front of the Leaky Cauldron. James waved, but the car kept going.

"STOP!" Lily shouted. Vernon hit the brake and they were all flung forward.

"Next time, lower your voice, Lily," Petunia ordered. "And don't slam the door when you get out."

"Thank you ever so much for the ride," Lily said in a sugary sweet voice, as she gathered her pocketbook and scarf. "Have a happy new year, and hopefully we will see each other… soon." She tried to make a point of not slamming the door and instead, she didn't close it firmly enough.

"LILY! Come back and shut the door!" Petunia hollered out the window.

Lily opened the door again, and sneered, "Please lower your voice," before giving it a good hard slam.

Vernon peeled away like he was in a race and Lily turned and ran straight into James' open arms.

"If there's a hell, that was it," she said, clinging to him as though he'd just saved her from doom. He leaned down and kissed her.

"You're free of her now, until next break anyway," he replied.

"Is everyone inside?" she asked.

"Yes. But before we get them, how do you feel about one more kiss?"

"Only one?"

James grinned and their lips met again.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Once James motioned for the others, the group of friends walked up Charing Cross Road several blocks to the underground station and got on the Northern Line headed for Hampstead. They were momentarily separated in the train car, and Annabelle noticed Johnny B. giving her a funny look from several feet away.

_What?_ She mouthed to him from where she was standing, holding on to a pole. Sirius was holding the same pole as Annabelle, but was talking to Lily and James who were leaning into the corner by the train doors, so he missed the exchange.

_Shame on you,_ Johnny B. mouthed back to her, his eyes narrowed and a devious grin plastered across his lips.

Annabelle raised her eyebrows, grinning back. He raised his eyebrows back at her as though daring her to play dumb, then waved a finger at her as though telling her she was a misbehaved child. She snickered under her breath and rolled her eyes and Johnny B. laughed, too. She knew what he was thinking but it was too difficult to set him straight from across a crowded train.

Once off the train, James joked that he would relinquish control and let Annabelle be the boss for the day, but only if he ate lunch first. They stopped at a sandwich shop near where Annabelle used to live. The sandwiches were two for the price of one on Saturdays and there was a view of the snow covered Heath from the window. Afterwards, she led the way several blocks and around two corners to a short walkway between two brick buildings. The walkway eventually gave way to a wider slate footpath, flanked on the sides by stone walls that curved down a gentle hill and around a corner.

"Where are you taking us, Annabelle?" Lily asked nervously.

"To my old house," Annabelle replied. "It's this way."

The others looked to each other uneasily.

"This isn't anything like Knockturn Alley, is it?" James asked.

Annabelle laughed. "Be real."

Soon they approached an open gate, and Annabelle turned inside, the path very narrow and the high wooden fence on either side of the path fringed with icy branches and holly leaves dappled with red berries. The others followed cautiously, but were soon captivated by the perfect cottages that came into view, all in a row, lamps glowing in the stark winter light.

"It's like something out of _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_ ," Alice said.

"There it is," Annabelle said, already feeling the rush of memories upon her. Sirius slipped an arm around her.

"It's like a hidden block of sorts," said Remus.

"Yes," Annabelle replied. "A little village secret. Feels strange that I can't just walk inside the house anymore."

Sirius said, "Sure you could. I don't think its inhabitants would be too keen on it though."

"We could modify their memories," James replied. Annabelle knew he was only half-joking and thought it best to move the conversation in a different direction.

"That's Matty's house." She pointed at the house to left of where they stood.

"Well, are you going to knock?" Sirius asked her.

"What if he doesn't remember me?"

"Does he have amnesia?" Lily replied. "Why wouldn't he remember you?"

Annabelle shrugged and faltered a moment, and Sirius said, "Come on, I'll go with you."

They walked up the path that led to the front door and Annabelle hesitated momentarily before pushing the doorbell. They could hear the clanging noise from inside and soon the door the opened.

Annabelle smiled at the middle-aged muggle woman who answered the door.

"Mrs. Harris?"

The woman seemed uncertain as she studied Annabelle's countenance, then her eyes widened and she said, "Annabelle? Little Annie O'Neill?" When Annabelle nodded, the woman pulled her in for a warm hug. "Oh, my dear! How have you been? _Where_ have you been?"

"Boarding school," Annabelle replied, "I've been well, thank you. This is my friend, Sirius."

Mrs. Harris looked at him and said, "Hello… what did you say? Sirius?" When they nodded in affirmation, she said, "That's a rather unique name."

_Not to wizards, it isn't_ , Annabelle thought. She sensed an almost imperceptible shift in Sirius' mood, and hoped he wasn't offended by the woman.

"How are all of you? How's Matthew?" she asked.

"He's just up at the pub as we speak. Helping his father on Saturdays, he is, just trying to earn some extra money. The other boys are home from university, except for Daniel; he's engaged to be married next summer. Would you like to come in for a cuppa?"

"Thank you so much, but there's rather a lot of us," she said, motioning to the group on the path. "Maybe another time. And I just have to see Matthew."

"He is going to be utterly shocked to see you," Mrs. Harris replied. "Come round any time, dear. We've missed you."

Once she said goodbye to Mrs. Harris, she and Sirius rejoined the others on the path and they headed over to The Pear Tree pub. It was only a few winding blocks away, and Annabelle took them through another narrow footpath that led to the high street, before starting up a steep curving road with barely a pavement to stand on.

"How come you introduced me as your 'friend'?" Sirius asked as they trudged up the steep incline.

Annabelle shrugged. "You are my friend," she replied. "Does a woman I haven't seen in six years need to know the details of my personal life?"

"I suppose not," Sirius replied. Although he didn't really think the addition of the word "boy" before "friend" was that intricate of a detail.

When they reached the top, they turned right, and there nestled among some other old stately homes was a small, quaint pub, its windows fogged with condensation. Annabelle could hardly contain herself, she was so dizzy with excitement as they entered.

It was early in the day, so it wasn't too crowded and they sat round the small bar that was near the entrance. Off to the side was another room with low ceilings, painted a golden yellow with dark wood trim and wood floors, and a scattering of rickety old tables spread about the room.

"They've got a television," James said, staring at the TV perched high on the wall to the right of the bar. It was tuned to football, and the boys were drawn to it like moths to a flame. Of their friends, only Caradoc and Fairfax followed football, being muggle-borns, but they didn't talk much about it with anyone except each other because most of their friends were more interested in Quidditch. From an area in the back, a tall robust man with the build of a lumberjack entered the room and stepped behind the bar.

He surveyed the young faces before him and grumbled, "Hope you're here for a lemonade because you're not fooling me with any fake ID's."

Sirius tore his gaze away from the telly, and said, "Sure, lemonades all around." Then whispered to Annabelle and Johnny B., "No fooling these wily muggles."

Annabelle felt stung by the remark. "That was a bit snobbish."

"Lighten up, Annabelle," he said. "Weren't you the one going on about the proper way tea should be stirred?" But she was right. He did sound like a snob and he didn't know what possessed him to make the remark. Maybe it was the comment about his name being "unique," or Annabelle's reluctance to call him anything other than friend when she introduced him. He felt an old familiar ache starting to settle in his chest, but he tried to ignore it, staring at the television and trying to figure out how football worked.

Annabelle ignored his remark to her about the tea and turned her attention to the man. "Is that how you normally treat your neighbours? she asked.

He seemed to examine her just as his wife had done, his kind eyes blinking in confusion. "Why it can't be. Annie O'Neill, is that you?"

"Tis," she replied, a giddy smile accompanying her enthusiasm. "Hello, Mr. Harris."

Mr. Harris reached across the bar and hugged her. "My how you've grown! You're a young lady, now! Barely recognised you!"

"Is Matthew here?"

"Sure, he is. He's just in the back working on the accounts for me. Just a moment," he said, and went into the back room. Annabelle grinned at Sirius, and he managed to muster a smile back to her, but just barely. A moment later the door burst open, and out stepped a boy; a young man really, with a strong, athletic frame, short sandy hair, and big blue eyes sparkling like sapphires. When his eyes scanned the group at the bar and settled on Annabelle, his face lit up in a mega-watt smile.

Matty had grown as well.

"Annie?"

"Matty?"

"ANNIE!"

The childhood friends ran to each other and embraced. Matthew swung her around and laughed wildly as Annabelle's eyes filled with happy tears.

"Wow. Matty's fucking hot," Johnny B. observed as the two old friends got reacquainted.

Sirius scowled. The only image he'd had of Matthew in his mind was a toothless little kid. Not that he'd expected him to be a kid still. He wasn't sure what he thought was going to happen, but he was bothered. Lily nudged him in the arm.

"Don't be jealous," she whispered to him. "He was like a brother to her. She's _your_ girlfriend."

"I'm not jealous, Lily," he replied indignantly. All he could think, though was if Annabelle hadn't been a witch, chances were she'd have been Matthew's girlfriend. And from the way they hugged each other, he surmised that maybe there was still a chance.

Annabelle dragged Matthew over and introduced him to everyone, starting with Sirius. "This is my boyfriend, Sirius," she said, making a point not to leave off the word "boy," and Sirius stood up from the bar stool to shake his hand, a slight arrogance to his movements. He was an inch or so taller than Matthew, which made him feel like he could squash him if need be. James' reaction was similar to Sirius'; shaking his hand while puffing out his chest a little and glancing at Lily to gauge her reaction. It was though they were protecting their territory or something. Lily found it highly amusing, and she smirked discreetly, but Annabelle did not. She didn't understand why Sirius felt threatened.

Matthew went behind the bar, held up a bottle of gin, and said, "Anyone want anything stronger in their lemonade?"

"No, thank you," Remus said, as James began to raise his hand, then turned to James and whispered, "It's only one in the afternoon. If you start now you'll be wrecked by six."

"Okay, _dad_ ," James replied. "So Matthew, you follow football?"

"Sure," Matthew replied. "I play for my school, too. Do you play?"

"Nah," he said. "It's not my thing. I mean, I prefer other sports."

"Like what?"

"Uhh...speed frisbee-"

Annabelle quickly changed the subject. "Matty! Do people even call you that still?"

"Just family, really, and you of course," he replied. "Do people still call you Annie?"

"Only the people I'm close to." She laced her fingers through Sirius's and squeezed his hand. He wasn't acting like himself, and she felt a tiny flutter of worry in her stomach.

"When was the last time you saw each other," Johnny B. asked.

"Wow, let's see…" Matthew replied. "It had to be over six years ago. She was there one day, gone the next. We were told she went to live with family. You didn't have to live with your mum, did you Annie?"

"For a short time I did."

"Yikes, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thanks. Fortunately it didn't last long," replied Annabelle. "She was a mess, as you well know."

"Do you remember that time when we were playing in the garden and she came round from behind some trees and grabbed your arm? I thought she was a witch or something. Our screams could have woke the dead."

"I remember that," Annabelle said, hoping Matthew didn't decide to relay any more Colleen O'Neill horror stories to her friends. The wizards and witches exchanged meaningful looks over the witch comment. Matthew seemed to sense he'd said something wrong.

"Sorry to call her a witch, Annie."

"Oh, don't apologise. That is definitely what we called her. We even thought she rode a broom to get to my house."

James snorted with laughter, causing Sirius to smile as well. Matthew looked uncomfortable, since to him it wasn't funny. Annabelle widened her eyes in warning at James who gave her a reassuring look that implied he wouldn't embarrass her.

Remus was looking sickly. He'd barely spoken since they were at the Leaky Cauldron, barely touched his sandwich, and now, he looked unnaturally pale. Annabelle and Lily had tried to engage him in conversation on the walk over, but he was subdued and their voices seemed to bother him. Now he had his elbow on the bar, his face in his hand, and he was breathing rapidly. To those that knew him, there was no need to check a calendar. There would be a full moon the following night.

"Excuse me, where's the loo?" he said in a husky voice.

Matthew pointed toward the back door and said, "Make a right and go down the stairs. Can't miss it."

Remus shoved his stool away from the bar, and with one hand over his mouth, the other holding his stomach, he jogged to the back door, making a beeline for the toilet. Suddenly everyone at bar seemed unhappy. Again, Matthew sensed something was off.

"Is he going to be all right?" he asked warily.

"He'll be fine," Sirius said. "He's just got a touch of the flu."

"I'm going to check on him," Lily said, and disappeared behind the back door.

There was an awkward silence, which Johnny B. promptly remedied. "What year are you at school?" he asked Matthew.

"Last year, finally."

"Will you go to university?" Annabelle asked.

"Eventually," Matthew replied. "Think I'm going to take a gap year first. Work a little, travel some… see where the wind takes me."

"Sounds heavenly," Annabelle said. Sirius fought the urge to roll his eyes, even though deep down he agreed with her sentiment.

"So, what school are you attending?" Matthew asked.

"It's, um, just a boarding school. You've probably never heard of it. It's pretty remote."

Johnny B., sensing Matthew's scepticism, looked around the room for anything that could be the name of a school. Upon seeing an Arsenal F.C. poster on the wall, he blurted out, "It's the Arsenal Boarding School."

"Like the football club?" Matthew asked, a bit perplexed.

"Yep," he said. "Strange name for a school that has no football team, yeah?"

Matthew wasn't sure how to respond. He was a bit unsure of this strange, out of touch lot. "Well, um… sure, I suppose."

Next, James took a turn steering the conversation into safer territory. "So, not going to lie, my parents aren't keen on football and refused to let me play or even watch games on the telly. Want to explain to me what's going on here?" He pointed to the television. It was easy to see from Matthew's apprehension that he thought it rather weird they had no clue about football, but he went along with it, teaching them the rules and explaining what was happening on the television.

Sirius was curious about football as well, and he inched over closer to the conversation. Frank and Alice sat down by a window together, not interested in the match since they had other things to catch up on. Johnny B. decided that was his moment to interrogate Annabelle.

"I couldn't believe when I got that howler and heard both your voices," he whispered eagerly. "Do you two ever leave his room?"

"Don't get crazy," she said. "I was only in there once actually. To look at some pictures."

Johnny B.'s jaw dropped. "Annabelle. You mean to tell me that you have been practically alone with Sirius for a week, and you haven't shagged him yet? What is bloody wrong with you? You should be shagging each other senseless!"

"Johnny B!" Annabelle scolded. "Even if I had I wouldn't be talking about it."

"Well if you do, be careful," Johnny B. replied. "Fairfax has a stash of condoms in his night table drawer. 'Sorcerer's Brand Condoms, Charmed to be Unbreakable.' You know, just in case Sirius isn't prepared."

Annabelle pinched his thigh and hissed, "Johnny B., please stop. This isn't appropriate."

"You know, I've always imagined Sirius would be a bit of an animal in bed."

"Oh my god, please stop," Annabelle implored as she turned red as a holly berry.

"Relax, Annie," he said, his shoulders shaking with laughter. "I'll stop. I'm only taking the piss because you are such a fucking prude. I'm going to start calling you Annie McGonagall."

"I am not," she replied. "And there's nothing wrong with a bit of prudence. It just means one is careful."

"Let's see here… You love each other? Tick. You're hot for each other? Tick. Condoms? Tick. That's the list. What else is there?"

Annabelle hesitated, unable to think in such simple terms about something so meaningful.

"What?" Johnny B. said. "If you aren't ready, well, you know I can't relate, since I'm a sixteen-year-old male and we're always ready, and I'm sure Sirius can confirm that statement. But if you aren't, you aren't."

"Surely not every sixteen-year-old male is _ready."_

"All right, maybe not _all_ of them. Wait, is Sirius the one who's not-"

"It's not that," she said with a quick shake of her head. "It's…"

"Yes?"

Johnny B. always had a way of getting her to talk. Maybe it was just that he wouldn't drop the subject, and would keep pecking and pecking at her until she surrendered, just to stop the harassment. Whatever it was, it worked.

"It's my bloody mother, for Merlin's sake! She made the most horrific mess of her life and it all started when she was sixteen."

Johnny B. laughed out loud and the others looked over at them momentarily.

"Merlin's bollocks, Annabelle, you are not your whacko mum. I think we'd know by now if you were going off the deep end."

"Listen, I drank with you lot," she said, "and now if I hop into bed with someone, what makes me any different? What's next?"

"Be realistic Annabelle. You are a completely different being than her. And you say 'someone' like you just met him. You are grounded, responsible, and you have a really hot, shaggable boyfriend who clearly adores you. I would never tell you to do something you're not ready for, but if your mum is the reason you're waiting, it's a daft reason."

Annabelle sighed. "Maybe you're right."

"I am right. You are so careful all the time, about everything, all in an attempt to avoid becoming someone else. You are wasting your energy trying so hard not be her, that you aren't even letting yourself be you."

She hadn't thought of it that way before.

"And you should enlighten Sirius as to your mum issues. He loves you, Annabelle. He would want to know how you are torturing yourself."

"He'll think I'm barking mad."

"You are barking mad," he replied, bumping his shoulder against hers. "And we love you anyway."

Annabelle's frown turned into a half smile.

"Now speaking of shaggable boys," Johnny B. continued. "Your Matthew pings."

"Pings?" Annabelle asked.

"Yes. Pings on my radar. I think he's a beater for my team, not yours."

Annabelle raised her eyebrows and said, "Really?" She looked at Matthew, but she saw nothing that would indicate his sexual preference.

"You just wait," Johnny B. said. "He is, I'm telling you."

"If so, then you'd better make a move," she encouraged. "You would be quite the couple to behold."

"He's probably taken, Annie," Johnny B. replied. "And let's not forget that he's a muggle."

"First Sirius. Now _you_ have something against muggles?"

"Hold on, I have nothing against muggles," Johnny B. explained. "It's just rather hard to get close to them when I'm a _wizard_ and they don't believe in magic _._ And Sirius has nothing against them either. He's just _jealous_."

"Of muggles?"

Johnny B. rolled his eyes. "Of Matthew, you daft cow!"

"Why? He knows we are just old friends. I haven't seen the kid for six years!"

Johnny B. stared at her blankly in disbelief, then said, "Imagine you are sitting with Sirius and some long lost childhood friend of his appears. And she's drop dead gorgeous. He runs to her in an embrace, lifting her up and twirling her around gleefully."

Annabelle envisioned the scenario and squinted in disgust. "Okay, I see your point."

Just then Lily came back upstairs with Remus and all attention turned to him.

"I'm going to be leaving now," he said. "Not feeling so great and it's getting close to the time my dad's supposed to meet me."

"You can't go alone, mate," Sirius replied. "We'll go with you."

"We have to get going as well," Alice said. "We'll go with him. You all stay and catch up."

Annabelle thought she detected disappointment from Sirius that he'd have to stay behind. Something in the way he slumped his shoulders at Alice's response. He'd known how important this was to her, in fact, he was the one that made sure it happened at all. Of course Remus shouldn't be left to navigate his way back to the Leaky Cauldron alone, but Sirius appeared to be disappointed that someone else volunteered to go with him; like he wanted to leave.

Eventually, after Sirius became inordinately quiet, Annabelle felt it was time to go somewhere else, even though she hated to leave. She'd had more than her fair share of time doing what she wanted to do. And Hampstead Village wasn't exactly a hotbed of entertainment. Johnny B. might protest, because he was talking to Matthew, but Sirius wasn't having much fun and that needed to change.

She turned to Sirius and said, "Where would you like to go, now?"

He shrugged. "Wherever you want. It's your day."

"It's not just _my_ day. Isn't there someplace you liked to go when you were on your own here?"

"Lots of places, really. I suppose Camden Town was the most interesting."

"Great," Annabelle said. "It's only three stops away on the tube. Shall we?"

"If you want."

"Sirius, is something bothering you?" she asked gently as she rested her chin on his shoulder and rubbed his back.

"Of course not, I'm fine. Let's go then."

James and Lily were agreeable to anything, since they were just happy to be together and on their own, and Camden was Johnny B.'s favourite London neighbourhood, so he was game as well.

"It was great seeing you again, Annie," Matthew said. "We should keep in touch this time."

Annabelle was about to respond when Johnny B. interjected, "Why don't you come with us?"

Matthew looked to Annabelle, who would love nothing better than to have him along, even if Sirius didn't appear thrilled with the idea.

"Do you think your dad will let you go?" she asked.

"Probably. Let me go check."

A moment later Mr. Harris came through the door, followed by Matthew who had his coat on. "Annie! Leaving us so soon! It was a pleasure to see you again, and don't be a stranger."

"I'll try not to, Mr. Harris," she replied, and hugged him again.

"See you later, dad," Matthew said, and they were off, back down the sloping road to the underground station.

On the train, Annabelle made sure to stand next to Sirius. He was pushed up against the doors and she tried to talk to him in the hopes of getting him to relax a bit and have some fun. She took his hand but he stiffened slightly, so she let go.

"Why are you being this way?" she asked.

"What way?"

"All standoffish and cold with me."

He didn't know the answer to that really. All he knew was that he had entered well-known territory in his mind; the dark place he frequently stumbled into after visits to his former home. The voices in his head that sounded vaguely like his parents were telling him he wasn't good enough, that he wasn't worthy, and when he had seen Annabelle smiling and laughing with Matthew, he believed the voices. God, she was so vivid and wholesome, so full of potential and life. Matthew was all laughter and light. His heart cracked with grief to think of how he compared; a shadow, a spectre of sorts haunting them. He could barely look at her, the shame had such a powerful hold on him. It almost took his breath away.

"I'm just not feeling well."

Her hand instinctively tested the temperature of his forehead, then his cheek. The concern with which she regarded him made the feeling worse, because he felt so undeserving.

"Do you want to go back to the castle?" she asked.

She meant it, he told himself. She'd go back with him early without a fuss, even though she'd rather stay in London. He was losing sight of the reason they were there… what was it? To ease her homesickness? To be carefree for a day? Despair was weighing him down so profoundly, and he wanted her to get away from him with her wide eyes and her attempts to love him. He wanted to send her far away so he could curl up inside himself again as he always had, safe from feelings, safe from wanting someone so badly when he was so utterly unworthy. She must know deep down, he thought to himself. She was afraid to come to his room, afraid he was going to have his way with her and ruin her for future, more suitable prospects. Ruin her for the Matthews of the world.

"No, Annabelle," he replied. "I'll be fine. It's just a headache."

"We should go back."

"NO!" he snapped, then attempted to be casual. James glanced over at him, a similar look of concern on his face. "No, Annabelle. Headache's going away already. It's fine, really."

"You told me yesterday that it hurts when I withhold the truth from you," Annabelle said, the pain evident in her voice. "Now I understand how it feels, because you aren't telling me something and I wish you'd just say it."

He knew he had to try harder to appear like he was okay. The self-loathing coursed through him as he forced a smile and took her face in his hands.

"If there was something I needed to tell you, I would, sweetheart. But there isn't. Let's not let a little headache ruin our entire day." He leaned over and kissed her cheek, then wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head under his chin, and even though they were holding each other as the train bumped along, she felt like he wasn't even there.

 


	47. London Calling, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - if you are familiar with Camden Town in London, you probably know it as the touristy, gentrified, but still very hip neighbourhood strewn with markets and shops. In 1976, though, there was apparently only one market and the neighbourhood was still a bit on the dodgy side. :)  
> Please review!

When they arrived at Camden, the hustle and bustle of the open air market and the diversity of the people, ranging from drunk vagrants to average muggles to punk rock kids, provided a temporary distraction for Sirius from the gutting depression he was feeling on the train. It was an interesting part of town because nowhere else could he feel like a complete misfit but fit in at the same time. It was a neighbourhood made for misfits it seemed.

Johnny B. and Matthew were hitting it off royally. Matthew seemed fascinated by the strange, stunning boy with the wicked sense of humour and twinkle to his eyes. Annabelle had seen that reaction to Johnny B. many times over, since she and her friends had all felt it at some point. The difference was, Matthew actually had a chance with Johnny B., who appeared to be smitten. If only Matthew was a wizard, Annabelle thought, but then he'd have been at Hogwarts with them, in his seventh-year along with Fairfax, who probably would have been his roommate.

As they strolled through the breezy stalls of the market, Lily, Annabelle, Johnny B. and Matthew stopped to look at some records while James and Sirius wandered off a few stalls down.

"Look at this one," Annabelle said, picking up an album called "Fleetwood Mac."

Lily looked at the record and said, "It looks like a posh wizard and a dwarf on the front."

"And they're holding a crystal ball," said Annabelle, forgetting that Matthew was a muggle. "Do you think they're actually wizards?"

"Like they wish they were wizards?" Matthew asked.

"Well, yeah," Annabelle said, laughing a bit too much after realising her mistake. "Obviously they aren't real wizards!"

A woman with long shaggy hair, dressed in a multi-coloured polyester gown stepped over from behind the table and said, "You want to have a listen?"

"Sure," Lily replied.

"Fleetwood Mac are wicked," Matthew said. "I can't believe you don't know who they are."

When the record started playing, Lily recognised the song and she said, "I love this song! It's on the radio all the time at home."

"Do you not get to have radios at your school?" Matthew asked.

"It's a bloody strict school," Johnny B. said. "It's quite sad really. We all huddle round one radio in our common room fighting for which station to listen to."

Matthew just shook his head, seemingly growing accustomed to the strange practises of the Arsenal Boarding School.

Meanwhile, James and Sirius were a few stalls away, marveling at all the muggle bits and bobs for sale. James was cracking jokes at anything muggle related that he didn't understand, trying to get Sirius to perk up a bit. He could tell he was feeling down, as he always did after seeing his family. He thought maybe it would be different for him this time, since he was at the castle with Annabelle and never had to go home again, but apparently he'd been wrong. Sirius seemed to be getting increasingly despondent as the day went on.

"What the hell is this?" James asked, picking up a round glass ball with what looked to be a large glass tube attached on the top and a smaller straw like protrusion coming from the side. "Is this some kind of potion brewing gear?"

Sirius picked one up and examined it. "Do muggles even know how to make their own potions?"

"How should I know? Excuse me, mister," James called to the young man sitting on a metal folding chair, his head rocking languidly to the small radio he had on top of a cooler next to him. "What is this thing?"

The man laughed derisively. "You're joking, right?"

"Um, no. I'm not joking," James replied, galled by the man who dared to laugh at him.

"It's a bong, mate. You know what that is, don't you?" the man retorted.

James looked to Sirius who shrugged almost imperceptibly, indicating he didn't know what a bong was either.

"What's it for?" James asked, his curiosity trumping his pride.

"Are you taking the piss?" the man snapped. "It's for smoking up, you now, having a hot salad? Dosing on the cylinder? Copulating with Mary Jane?"

James tried not to laugh at the loon. _Mary Jane?_ he mouthed to Sirius with a mocking smirk, then said to the man, "Can you show us how it works, then?"

"Are you saying you want a hit? Because that will cost you."

"Oh, I can pay, don't you worry about that," James said haughtily, feeling good that he finally had something over this odd muggle and his contraption.

"All right, step around back, kiddos, and I'll give your first lesson in Amsterdam tea."

"Oh, it's like a teapot then," Sirius whispered to James as they started to follow the man.

"That's not interesting at all," James said in disappointment. "Why didn't he just say that instead of all that other rubbish?"

Annabelle and Lily wondered where the boys went, and backtracked to where they'd last seen them. They scanned the stalls.

"There they are," Lily said. "They're looking at potions equipment."

Annabelle inferred the same thing until she got a better look at what they were holding. An image of her mother flashed in her consciousness, passed out on the sofa, holding the same item. Annabelle's eyes almost popped out of her head. "That's not potions equipment." She started jogging toward them, Lily by her side. "OY!" she called out. "What the in the bloody hell are you two doing?"

The boys, who had been about to follow the man behind the flowing Indian tapestries he had hanging around his stall, turned their heads toward Annabelle.

"This bloke was going to show us how to make Amsterdam tea," James said. "Strange little teapots, aren't they?"

Annabelle grabbed the bongs from their hands and put them down, then took their arms and yanked them away from the stall.

"What's wrong Annabelle? You like tea," Sirius said, slightly annoyed at her reaction.

She glared at him, thinking he might be teasing her again, and if he was then it would be the ultimate in cruelty considering he knew about her mother.

"You'd better not be joking!" she spat bitterly. James and Sirius just looked at her, confusion in their eyes as to what they'd done wrong. "Those aren't for making tea! They are for smoking marijuana. You know, getting high? Why don't I just call my mum and have her join you?"

A look of realisation swept across their faces, and with it, a touch of shame.

"They didn't know, Annabelle," Lily said softly. "I didn't even know and I'm pretty well-versed in the muggle world."

Annabelle was shaking. "That's because you're not a druggie."

Johnny B. who had approached with Matthew, said, "Stay calm, Annie. They know better now."

She began to relax, but then she made the mistake of looking back at the man in the stall. He nodded toward James expectantly, like he was waiting for the boys to come back and make a purchase. She had a mind to hex him, and stalked back over to him.

"Think you're slick trying to get some kids started on that shite just so you can make a few quid?" She shot out her hand, about to smash every bong on the table with a little wandless magic when Sirius grabbed her arm and forced it down.

"No, Annabelle," he said evenly. "You'll give us away. Let's go." She wrenched her arm back and put it behind her as the tears began to shimmer in her eyes. She was shaking with indignation.

Sirius tried to steer her away from the table, but she twisted back around and sputtered at the man, "You're dirt! They should put you in jail and throw away the key!"

"Fuck off, slag," the man muttered. "It's only weed." Sirius turned back toward him, planning to pound some respect into him, but was stopped by James and Johnny B.

"Ignore him, mate," James warned as he held him back. "We can't get into any trouble here and you know it. Just let it be."

"Let's get out of here," Lily said, putting an arm around Annabelle and ushering her out of the market while the others followed. Matthew walked along next to them, looking quite shaken by the scene.

"Are you okay, Annie?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll be okay."

They ambled out onto Camden High Street and Johnny B. said, "I'm cold. Let's go inside somewhere."

There weren't any restaurants or cafés around, so they stumbled into a pub on the corner that looked more inviting than any of the other establishments on the high street. They didn't want to wander too far off the beaten path, so The Merry Woodsman pub would have to do. Much like the rest of the neighbourhood, the pub was populated with people from all walks of life; derelicts, working class folk, young people barely old enough to drink, and now wizards and witches.

When they got inside, the boys gathered at the bar, drawn to the telly again. Before he joined them, Sirius asked Annabelle, "Calmed down a bit then?"

"Sure, I have. I'm fine." It was probably what he wanted to hear. She had the distinct feeling that he didn't want to deal with her.

"Good," and with a mechanical peck on her temple he walked away to the bar without another word; like he wanted to get away from her.

Annabelle was struck with a mixture of disbelief and hurt. This couldn't be jealousy, she thought, considering Matthew had hardly strayed from Johnny B.'s side since they'd left Hampstead. Sirius had to see that he posed no threat to him. Annabelle just knew that he was tired of her indecision and her neurotic tendencies, and he probably figured better to shake her off sooner rather than later before she became a real horror show like her disgusting mum.

And why should she expect anything else? That's what people did; they left her. This was the reason she'd worshipped Rowan Summerby from afar. He couldn't hurt her if he was at a distance and unaware of her affections. And even when everything told her that getting involved with Sirius was a risky, ridiculous notion, she followed her heart anyway. Deep down, though, she knew it would only be a matter of time until he dismissed her as well. Since they'd arrived in London he'd been like a statue, devoid of any warmth and feeling toward her. She desperately wanted to go back to the castle, but curbed the urge to up and leave because she didn't want people to think she was a complete mess.

She sat at a table with Lily while James and Johnny B. talked football with Matthew at the bar. They were very intent on learning about it; James because he didn't like that he wasn't in the know about the sport, and Johnny B. because Matthew was obsessed with it. Normally, Sirius would have been interested too, but he was just trying to exude some semblance of composure at that point, all the while condemning himself for not be able to snap himself out his funk and enjoy the day.

"Annabelle, they didn't mean to upset you," Lily said. "They wouldn't have even looked at those things if they'd known what they were for."

"I know that," Annabelle said. "I'm not upset with them. I feel disgusting that I did know what they were for."

"Merlin, it's not like you've used one before," Lily said. Annabelle swallowed hard and hunched in her chair. "You're acting strange, Annabelle. In fact, you and Sirius are both rather strange today. Did I miss something?"

"I don't know," Annabelle said. "He's been icing me out all day. I think… I think he's grown tired of me."

"I doubt that. Maybe he's just in a bad mood or something. I could tell he wasn't keen on Matthew when he first met him, so that could be it."

"It's not just that," Annabelle said. "It's something more."

"You want me to talk to him? See if I can figure it out?"

"Nah," Annabelle said. "Forget it."

"You are my best friend," Lily said. "If I can help in some way-"

"It's up to you," Annabelle interrupted. "I'm going to check out the jukebox."

She ambled over to the jukebox at the other end of the room and Lily hopped onto a bar stool next to James, who had been trying unsuccessfully to engage Sirius in conversation. Lily frowned at James and nodded in Sirius' direction, and James leaned in and whispered, "He's not doing so well today. Did Annabelle mention anything?"

"All she said is that he's been cold to her all day. She doesn't know why."

"I think it's because of his parents, but he never talks about it."

"Poor thing. I wish he would."

"You can try talking to him," James said. "Where did Annabelle go?"

"She's at the jukebox," she said, motioning with her eyes to where she stood.

James got up from his stool, walked to the other end of the bar, and approached Annabelle cautiously. He wanted to make sure she was aware of what Sirius was going through. Maybe she could get through to him somehow.

"This thing plays music, right?" he asked.

Annabelle nodded.

"Well, let's play something then."

She sighed arduously. "Like what?"

"Hmmm, look here," he said, pointing to a song called "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" by a group called Wizzard. "In addition to not being able to do magic, it appears muggles can't spell properly either."

Annabelle chuckled a little. "Let's play it."

She took a few coins out of her change purse and punched in the numbers. The song came ringing cheerfully through the speakers. A few of the patrons moaned and booed.

"Uh oh," James said. "These muggles don't seem keen on Wizzard. Maybe they're the clever ones. What else could we play to make it up to them?"

Annabelle pointed to a Fleetwood Mac song called "Landslide," and said, "That's the song the lady played for us in the market. It's rather nice."

James shoved a few coins in and copying Annabelle, entered the numbers listed next to the song. "That should make the muggles happy."

"Yeah," she said glumly, but she didn't budge from the jukebox. James turned around and leaned against it.

"Annabelle, he gets like this sometimes. It's not you, I promise you that."

"What is it then?" she asked quietly, her eyes still looking down at the rows of songs.

"You know what his parents did to him. Need I say more?"

"He's been doing fine all week, though. Well, up until yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?"

She felt guilt swallow her whole. Her insistence on seeing the pictures hadn't only caused his nightmare. It had caused him to be consumed by the memories the pictures dredged up. "The bloody pictures. I should have known he wasn't ready."

"What pictures?"

"I asked him to bring some old photos back with him, not knowing at the time that I made the request that his parents were going to nearly kill him. I stupidly asked him to show them to me yesterday. He seemed okay until last night, but then he had a nightmare. He didn't want to talk about it, though."

"He never does," James said. "Listen, even if he insists on being left alone when you get back, try not to go too far away. I just don't like to think of him on his own when he's like that."

"Maybe he'd be better off going home with you," Annabelle suggested.

"I'll offer, but I know he won't want to. He's going to want to collapse on his bed and sleep. It's what he always does."

Annabelle knew Sirius was affected by his parents and how they'd treated him, but she'd had no clue that his behaviour on that particular day was in any way connected. It made sense now. And Annabelle's own childhood pictures that painted such a seemingly opposite reality couldn't have helped him feel any better. She felt awful about it and wanted desperately to fix it.

Meanwhile, Lily was at the bar trying to get Sirius to open up a little.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked.

"About what?" Sirius answered flatly.

Lily chuckled. "About the reason you look like you just lost the Quidditch cup to Slytherin."

"I'm just tired, Lily. Can't a person be tired?"

"Annabelle is worried about you. Shocking, I know, because Annabelle never worries."

Sirius' mouth curved into a little half-smile at her attempt at humour.

"She thinks it's something she's done," she said carefully. "Is it?"

Sirius looked at her. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, she thinks you're upset with her. She's a lot like you… doesn't like to talk about what's bothering her. But I can tell when something's off."

He sighed heavily and stood up to have a word with Annabelle. He was so torn on the inside between wanting to set her free so she could soar, and wanting to cling to her so that he wouldn't wither away in despair. It wasn't going to be easy, but she deserved to be free of the darkness that so forcefully and relentlessly gripped him whenever it saw fit. He would have to do it later though. For now, he had to convince her that she was not at fault in any way for his mood that he clearly wasn't hiding very well.

"Hey mate," James said as Sirius approached them by the jukebox. "Like our first selection?"

"Sure," Sirius replied weakly.

"The band is called Wizzard with two Z's. Methinks the muggle education system needs some improvement."

Sirius and Annabelle both laughed softly, but their mirth was temporary. James gave Sirius' shoulder a squeeze as he passed him on his way back to the bar. Annabelle was still facing the jukebox, and he stood next to her. He wanted so badly to take her hand, to wrap his arms around her and pull her to him, but instead he said, "Matthew is rather nice."

Annabelle nodded. "Yes, he is. Always was."

"I don't know how Johnny B.'s going to let him go."

Neither one of them spoke for a moment, but just stood there tensely staring at the jukebox. Annabelle broke the silence. "Please talk to me. You're clearly in pain, and I want you to talk to me."

Sirius swallowed, his skin prickling with anguish. He felt terrible for ruining her day, but the dark cloud over him seemed to be growing and he couldn't shake it, no matter how hard he tried.

"Annabelle, I-" he began, but his voice caught. "I'm just not feeling well. My head is all foggy and… everything just hurts today for some reason. I'm sorry I've been so moody, but that's why."

He hoped that would pacify her, because everything did hurt, even talking.

"Do you want to go home with James?"

"No, but when we get back to school, I just kind of want to be alone for a bit. Just to rest."

Annabelle nodded again, wondering how she was going to do what James had said when Sirius was already telling her he wanted to be alone.

"Sirius, I feel like there's more you want to tell me, but you aren't for some reason."

"No, there's nothing, except that Lily said you were blaming yourself for my foul mood. I don't want you to do that."

"I thought maybe you'd had enough." Her eyes filled with tears.

"Enough of what?"

"Of me."

"Oh, Annie. No."

"If you are I'll understand. I mean, it was only a matter of time anyway…."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing… nothing."

"Annabelle, why do you want someone like me?"

She felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. James said it wasn't about her, but it was so hard to know if that was true when he refused to talk about it, and was saying things that sounded like breakup clichés instead. She wanted to leave, to escape the feeling of the walls closing in around her.

"I need to go back to the castle," she said.

She walked back around to the other end of the bar where the other four were blissfully chatting about football and eating packets of crisps. Sirius followed and put on his coat as Annabelle said her farewells.

"Matty, it was so lovely to see you again," she said. As she hugged him, she allowed some of her tears to escape under the guise of a sad goodbye, even though her tears weren't for Matthew. "I will find a way to get back again soon."

"Give me your address," Matthew said. "We can keep in touch."

"Um... our postal system at school is really wonky. Letters get lost all the time…" Annabelle looked at Lily for help.

"You can send them to my home address," Lily said. "My parents will make sure she gets them."

While Lily wrote her address down for Matthew, and Annabelle said goodbye to Johnny B., James pulled Sirius aside. "I hate to see you beating yourself up like this, mate."

"That's not what I'm doing. I just need to sleep."

James sighed in resignation. "If you say so," but Sirius ignored him.

Annabelle left the pub and Sirius quickly said good bye to the others, giving Matthew a shake of the hand. "It was nice to meet you," he said as he jogged off to catch up with Annabelle. When he caught up to her, he grabbed her arm and said, "Annabelle, please. You don't understand."

She stopped to face him. "Then help me to understand. Why shouldn't I want you?"

The anguish in her face cut him to the core. He was hurting her and he hated it. Instinctively he took her face in his hands and kissed her, her tears wetting his cheeks. "Sirius, please tell me what to do to fix this. Please…"

"Stop it, Annabelle," he rasped as he pulled away and began walking again, willing himself to be tough. "Don't you see? You deserve better."

"But why? Why are you saying that?" she pleaded with him, as she tried to keep up.

They were about halfway over the bridge that crossed the Regent's Canal when he stopped in his tracks and gripped his hair so that his arms covered his face. His whole body was racked with grief. Then he dropped his arms and with a contorted, tear stricken face he cried out, "I _hate_ myself right now! Is that what you want? Some broken, shadow of a man?"

James was right, he was in agony and it had nothing to do with her. She was scared, and wished the others would appear to help her, but he would shut down again if they did, she knew it. She was on her own with him.

"I want _you_ ," she answered. "And you don't hate yourself. You only think you do because you're hurting."

He wiped his face and tried to contain the flood of emotions. In typical fashion, he attempted to change the subject.

"We need to buy Dumbledore his Spangles," he said as he walked on. Once off the bridge, he stepped inside a news agent.

She followed him inside, and as she fished a 20p coin out of her change purse and handed it to him, she said, "You are shutting me out. Please, don't do that."

He thanked the cashier and walked out, Annabelle frantic at his heels. "This is about the photos. The memories. The awful things they did, am I right?"

He closed his eyes tightly trying so hard to fight her attempts to get under his skin, but she was inexorable. He grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her into a narrow alley between two buildings.

"You deserve someone like you," he said, those bloody tears filling his eyes again. Why could he not keep them at bay? "Someone vibrant and pure… not like me! A damaged waste is all I am!"

"That is your parents talking," Annabelle countered, pointing a finger at him as she wiped her eyes with her other hand. "God! They did such a number on you, you can't even see how wonderful you are! It's tragic!"

Sirius leaned against the opposite wall, away from Annabelle. He was feeling weak, like if he didn't lie down soon he'd disintegrate into the pavement. She got right in front of him though, and he was losing the strength to keep dodging and avoiding her. "Don't shut me out!" she pleaded.

He breathed in and out slowly, and looked her in the eyes. Her wounded, fraught expression was like a rake across his heart. "Annabelle, you deserve someone without all these scars… Come on, we need to get going."

He took off, walking fast toward the underground station. She paused for a moment, feeling like she'd lost a battle, but then steeled herself again and followed after him. She would not lose the war.

His legs were longer than hers and he was walking so fast that she had to jog to catch up with him. Soon, they passed through the station and made their way down onto the mostly empty platform as Annabelle racked her brain for how to get through to him. He sat on the bench next to her, staring despondently at the tunnel wall in front of him, and she could feel him slipping away again.

"Scars? You want to know about scars?" she demanded. "The reason I wouldn't come to your room all week was because of _my_ scars."

He blinked and furrowed his brows. "I thought you were having second thoughts about me."

"Ha!" she laughed wildly and swallowed past the lump in her throat, "Sure, I was having all kinds of thoughts about you. Not the kind you're talking about though."

She paused, wondering if she should go on. Johnny B. had told her to enlighten Sirius about her mum issues, but she wasn't sure if telling him right then would help matters or hinder them. She decided to take her chances.

"But my mum was a bloody train wreck, and I have been so terrified that I would follow in her footsteps; that if I started doing the things she did, that I'd…" She took a deep breath to steady herself, "...that I'd end up just like her."

"But why would you Annabelle?" he said, turning to look at her. "You are nothing like her!"

"Because I read in Witch Weekly once that addiction is genetic," she explained, feeling like she'd made the right choice in telling him since it had pulled him out of himself for a moment. "And you know me, it possessed me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. All these years, I've tried so hard not to be like her, because I thought if I tripped up once I'd be swept away…. I'd end up a helpless, filthy disappointment."

Sirius felt even worse upon hearing her confession. All those years that he'd thought she was a goody-goody, a self-righteous priss who never stepped out of line, were really just about self-preservation for her. Even after he got close to her, he still noticed how cautious she was all the time. All along she was just trying to avoid being like her mother.

"Annabelle, that isn't going to happen," he said as he took her hand. "But, even if there was a chance, I wouldn't let you go down that road."

"The pictures I didn't want you to see?" she continued. "You could see the track marks in her bony arms from the heroin she was shooting up. She looked skeletal, like she was half alive." Annabelle's voice broke and she said, "You don't see how scarred I am? Everyone has scars, Sirius, everyone. You, me, my grandfather, Remus, Johnny B., all of us! Does that mean we don't deserve love?"

"You deserve love, Annabelle. From someone who isn't so dark and empty inside."

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his arm, willing him to look at her. "You are not dark and empty! You have so much inside of you, so much that's good and pure…"

He pulled away from her, stood up, and ambled down the platform a ways.

"You are walking away because you know it's true," Annabelle called from the bench. "But keep walking. Everyone I've ever loved has left me. Now you are doing the same."

 _How is she doing this_? he wondered to himself. Making him feel like she needed him. How could he make her see she was wrong? He stopped and turned back to her. "No, Annabelle. I'm not leaving you. I want you to do _better_ for yourself!"

"To do better?" Annabelle repeated, standing up and walking over to him. "Do you hear yourself? You were lied to, Sirius! Your parents were sick twisted people who hurt their children. These horrible things you are saying about yourself are their words, and you are just repeating them to yourself like a loop in your head. You can change the loop, I know you can."

Sirius stared past her into the dark train tunnel, his tortured countenance crushing Annabelle. "You hear it enough and you start to believe it," he said.

Just then the train pulled into the station. They stepped on board and found seats at the end of the car. The train wasn't too crowded, but there were enough people about that she didn't think she'd make any progress trying to speak to him there. As the train jolted to a start, he leaned forward with is elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands. He closed his eyes. Annabelle couldn't believe this was happening, only because he'd seemed grand all week. But then again, he was always trying to be so cool and unaffected, so she should have known he'd hide what he was going through. Apparently it had become too much for him to bear, as it would for anyone, but he seemed to think he was unfit for human contact because of it.

Eventually she began to softly stroke his back. He didn't respond, so she kept it up. She thought about how desolate it must have felt growing up in a house with no love, no tenderness… only fear over when the next beating would occur. They taught him that he didn't deserve love. She shuddered to think of it, and leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. She couldn't lose him this way. If he had been finished with her, he wouldn't have been so loving the day before, or all week for that matter. He was doing it to punish himself because his parents' voices were louder than anyone else's just then.

The train stopped at Charing Cross Road and they stepped onto the platform, her hand taking his. He didn't let go. It was almost dark outside when they emerged from the station and the air was turning quite cold. They walked in silence for the few blocks between the station and the Leaky Cauldron, and she hoped he wasn't beating himself up for letting his guard down earlier.

Before they entered the Leaky Cauldron, she led him just past the door. She needed to say more. She had to get through to him somehow before he disappeared to his room for the night. As she held his hand against her heart, she asked, "What if I'd been told I was worthless, bad, and weak for most of my life, and I believed it? Would you agree? Would you find me undeserving of love walk away from me?"

"Of course not, Annabelle. It would kill me if you grew up the way I did."

"Then you understand why I'm not going anywhere, and why I don't accept the things your parents told you as truth. I say you are kind, loving, courageous, clever… I could go on and on. But you don't believe me. You choose to believe them instead."

"It's hard to block their voices out sometimes. I try, I really do… sometimes I succeed… other times…" He looked down at their feet, willing himself not cry again like some blubbering child. Why would she not let up?

"Sixteen years is long time to be lied to and harmed," she said gently. "But you didn't deserve what they did to you. You were and still are innocent." She touched her forehead to his. "Stop trying to hold it all in."

He felt the swell of grief rising in his lungs, attempting to force its way out again. He shook his head and turned toward the door, holding it open for her. She reluctantly gave in to him. As they stepped inside the packed pub, several patrons glanced over to see who had come in, then went back to their meals and their pints when they realised they didn't recognise them. A few moments later, they were in Dumbledore's office. They gave him his Spangles and thanked him again for allowing them to go to London.

"Did you enjoy your visit?" he asked.

"We did, sir," Annabelle answered, trying to act like everything was fine. "Thank you again for allowing us to go."

Dumbledore studied them, one eyebrow slightly raised. Sirius could tell he sensed something was off and said, "London was brilliant, sir. Maybe you'll allow us to go again in the future?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. You're in time for dinner, if you haven't already eaten in London."

"We haven't," Sirius said, then turned to Annabelle. "Come on, let's get going. I'm starving."

Sirius took her hand and pulled her along quickly, not wanting Dumbledore to scrutinise them anymore. He wanted to go his bed and stay there, no more questions asked. Annabelle clearly had other ideas. They made their way down from his office, but Sirius turned as though heading to Gryffindor Tower.

"I thought you were starving," she said. "The Great Hall is the other way."

"I was just saying that so he'd leave us alone. I'm really tired, okay? I will find you later."

"I'm really tired too, actually," she said and followed him.

"You're not hungry, then?"

"Not really."

The common room was empty when they got there. Annabelle could easily go up to his room at that moment, if only he wasn't throwing hints that he wanted her to stay away.

"All right, Annabelle… I need a nap."

"But we need to talk," she said.

He didn't want to talk anymore, but he didn't want to shun her either. She was looking up at him so expectantly, her misplaced care unrelenting. He wished he didn't love her so much, because she certainly wouldn't love him after this; she'd seen how pathetic he was. Eventually she'd realise she was meant for more. And he so desperately wanted to sleep… to forget… to ease the pain for a time.

"I promise, I will find you later," he replied, and kissed her on the cheek. Then he turned and disappeared up the boys' staircase, leaving Annabelle alone.

The tears silently spilled down her face and she approached the boys' staircase. He'd told her that morning to ignore him when he said he wanted to be alone. Yet, she knew he didn't want her there just then, and maybe he needed to think for a while, to work through some of his feelings on his own. The last thing she wanted to be was an intrusive nag.

She thought it best to let him rest for a while. If he didn't make an appearance later on, she'd go to his room. She decided to go up to her own room for a rest. As she lay on her bed thinking of Sirius, she pleaded to whatever powers that might exist to help her get through to him. After a while, she drifted off herself, her sleep plagued by visions of a young Sirius, crying out for help.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_Annabelle!_

She sat up with a jolt, not sure if she'd actually heard her name being called or if it was part of a dream. Her heart was pounding as she stared into the darkness of her room, and a panic quickly engulfed her. How long had she left him alone? She had to go to him.

She lit the tip of her wand to check the time. It was only half past eight, meaning the kids would still be up and most likely in the common room. She grabbed her invisibility cloak and wrapped herself in it, and after putting on her new slippers, she carefully descended the stairs. Her plan was to return the cloak to her room if Sirius was downstairs, but he wasn't. The girls were on the sofa singing something horribly off-key. Nico was not there; Annabelle would have to be cautious on the boys' stairs lest she run into him.

She took each step as softly as she could, but swiftly as she didn't want to waste time. His door was shut when she got there, but there was no light coming from underneath so she guessed he was still asleep. She knocked gently and there was no response, so she tried the doorknob. The door creaked open, and she could see his form curled up on his bed. She uncloaked herself and approached his bedside, then knelt down and whispered, "Sirius?"

In the faint light from the stove, she could see him blink his eyes awake.

"Are you okay, Annie?" he asked, a bit groggy from his long nap.

"No. I'm… I'm just…." She covered her face as a sob escaped her.

Sirius propped himself up on his elbow and pulled her hand down.

"What is it, darling?" he said in an alarmed voice.

"I'm just so worried about you," she confessed, her voice strained with sorrow.

He scooted over a bit and pulled the blanket back. "Come on, Annie."

She climbed into the bed next to him and they wrapped their arms around each other. He pulled her in close and she rested her head in the curve of his neck. She felt so safe in his arms and wished so much she could make him feel the same.

After a time, she asked, "Do you love me, Sirius?"

"More than anything."

"Why won't you open up to me? Let me be there for you?"

"I don't want you to think..." a tear escaped down his cheek and he batted it away as though it were a bug to be squashed. "To think I'm weak. I just want to be strong for you."

"You are the strongest person I know. You've made it through hell and back. But no one can be strong all the time… and no matter what your family told you, it's okay to cry. Having feelings, even hurt ones, doesn't make you weak… it makes you human."

"But, I saw your face last night, after the dream. I could see how much you pitied me. How can you love someone you pity?"

"No, it's not pity," she said as she moved her head back to look him in the eyes. "Do I feel for you? Do I hate what they did to you? Yes! Pity implies I'm looking down on you. That's not what it is!"

"What is it, then?"

"Love!" she answered. "Sirius, it's love."

He wiped another escaped tear from his cheek and bit down on his lower lip, his chin beginning to tremble. She felt like she'd gained some headway since he didn't contradict her that time, and she soldiered on.

"I love everything about you," she continued in a hushed tone. "Everything your family shunned, hurt, ignored, and told you was worthless... I love all of those things about you. Sirius, I love you more than I love anyone."

He closed his eyes as he let her words sink in for moment, and when he didn't respond she asked, "What are you thinking?"

"That I've never been anyone's 'more than anyone.'"

"You are now."

The storm cloud that had been hovering over him all day burst then, his body shaking in sobs. She scooted up a little on his pillow and pulled his head against her chest, stroking his head gently, comforting him the way nobody ever did when he was small. All the grief over his lost childhood, the pain of the beatings and the emptiness of being starved for love poured from him as he wept.

"Even when you don't feel worthy," she went on as she held him, "I will still love you, because you don't get to decide who loves you. All I can hope is that you will accept it, and honour it."

Eventually his sobs started to subside and she kissed his head. Even after he stopped crying, he didn't move from her, and she kept her mouth pressed to his head as she continued to stroke his hair. She felt him gradually relax, like all that stood between him and some measure of peace was good hard cry that he'd cruelly denied himself for a week, instead making light of his own situation and seeking distractions with her.

After some time had passed, she asked quietly, "Do you mind if I stay here with you a little while longer?"

"Please stay a lot longer." He repositioned himself so he was looking at her. "Better yet, stay forever."

She put a hand on the back of his neck and pressed her lips against his. He began kissing her, and even though it was a gentle kiss, it was sincere, she could feel it. It was so warm next to him and she felt drained all of a sudden. It had been a long day. Her eyelids were heavy, and finally she surrendered and let them close. Sirius soon followed her into slumber, his body intertwined with hers, their hearts beating to the same rhythm once again.


	48. Worth the Risk

 

_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

_"_ _Sleep is still most perfect, in spite of hygienists, when it is shared with a beloved. The warmth, the security and peace of soul, the utter comfort from the touch of the other, knits the sleep, so that it takes the body and soul completely in its healing." ― D.H. Lawrence, Sons and Lovers_

_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._

 

Sometime in the middle of the night, Annabelle awoke. She could hear her stomach growling, or was it Sirius' stomach? Either way, they hadn't eaten anything since lunch the previous day and she was famished. He was still asleep; his face peaceful. Then her stomach growled again, and she giggled softly at how loud it sounded in the quiet room.

She wondered what time it was, so she slowly turned over onto her back and lifted Sirius' hand from where it was draped over her. The watch the Potters gave him shimmered and as she brought it closer to her eyes, squinting to see the time in the dark, its face illuminated. Of course, a magic watch.

It was half past three in the morning; too long to wait for breakfast as far as she was concerned. As she lay his hand back down, the watch dimmed and she looked at him. She couldn't bring herself to disturb him, but her stomach was unyielding. She slowly turned over all the way so that her back was to him and bunched her knees up in an attempt to stifle the persistent sound. He sensed her movements, and tightening his hold on her, he leaned in closer, his head touching hers. For a moment she forgot her empty stomach as she basked in the warmth of his body against her, but then the low grumble came again, and she shook her head in resignation.

"Is that your stomach or mine making all that noise?" he asked.

She turned to look at him again. His eyes were still closed, but in the faint glow of the moonlight she could see he was grinning. Never had she been so moved by a smile, but she hadn't seen that particular one in over a day, and she'd missed it terribly.

"I think it's mine," she replied.

He opened his eyes and ran a hand over her cheek. It felt good having her there in the middle of the night, he thought. He wished she could always sleep next to him.

"I think mine is trying to tell me something, too," he said.

"Shall we take a walk?" she asked, grinning back at him.

He glanced at his watch and said, "We shall. Just let me check the map." He sat up and yawned, then went to his trunk and pulled out The Marauder's Map.

"Oh yes. The map," Annabelle replied. "Do I finally get to see how it works?"

"Only if you promise not to tell," he said as he sat down next to her.

"You know I won't tell. But I promise anyway."

"And no questions, either. I will tell you all you need to know."

"Wow, so many conditions. This must be something quite devious."

"The lads will kill me if I give too much away," he said, as he unfolded a long blank parchment between them. He took his wand, lit the end of it, and said with a sly smile, "Watch and learn."

Annabelle paid close attention as he tapped the parchment and said, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Suddenly an intricate diagram of the school appeared along with four rather silly looking names across the top.

"What are those names all about?" she asked with a laugh.

"Oy! I said no questions," he replied, laughing as well. "I can't tell you everything, at least not yet."

"You are only making me more curious, but I will refrain from asking again."

"Thank you," he replied, then pointed to a spot on the map. "Now look closely, right there."

Annabelle leaned in and saw two little dots with their names above them in the part of the diagram that showed Gryffindor Tower, boys' dormitories. A little bit below their names was a dot labelled Nico. She looked at the girls dorms and saw Twyla and Zelda's names.

"Now watch," he said, then trailed his finger across the map, following the fastest route to the kitchens. "See right there? The Fat Friar is the only one that might see us if we were in that location right now."

Annabelle was fascinated. "Wow. I knew you lot were clever, but this is phenomenal. Everyone in the castle is on here. How did you do it?"

"There are some advanced charms involved, and a lot of sneaking around. We started it last year, but it's a work in progress."

"All right, let's have a go with it. See if it really works."

"Oh, it works, don't you worry about that."

They still had their clothes on from the day before, so after stepping into their slippers and covering themselves in the invisibility cloak, they sneaked down the stairs and out of the common room. As they walked together, huddled close under the cloak, Sirius would stop occasionally and check the map to ensure that no unwanted presence was about to cross their path. The Fat Friar had left when they arrived at the spot where they'd seen him on the map, and the kitchens showed no one there. They were in the clear.

Once they arrived in the kitchens, they raided the massive ice boxes for any leftovers. There wasn't much, just some cold jacket potatoes that looked rather unappetizing, but there was some trifle, so that would have to do.

"Pudding for brekkie," Annabelle said. "I can't complain."

Sirius looked at her and smiled. "Neither can I."

They sat at one of the long tables and ate their early morning snack while Sirius occasionally glanced at the map, using his wand for light. Annabelle was pleased that his mood had improved some, but he was so good at hiding his pain that she could never be sure with him. She hoped he never felt the need to conceal anything from her ever again, but from his stoic expression she could tell he was still feeling the aftershocks of earlier.

"Hey," she said quietly. "What's going on in that handsome head of yours?"

There was a heavy silence as he looked down at his bowl, then he asked, "Will it ever stop hurting?"

Annabelle wished she could say yes, but she didn't know for sure. "I don't know," she replied. "I think over time it will hurt a lot less. But only if you don't try to carry it all on your own."

Sirius smiled weakly but didn't say anything else. It would have been foolish to think that he'd be fine with a snap of the fingers, but Annabelle didn't want him to slip away again, even though she knew he'd be dealing with his memories for a long time to come.

"Talk to me, Sirius."

"I don't even know where to start."

"Well, maybe you could start with your nightmare."

"You aren't going to like hearing it."

"That's probably true, but tell me anyway."

So he told her. He told her how his tutor had treated him; flogging him for the slightest errors, and how his parents would reinforce the punishments themselves when the tutor reported his mistakes. Eventually the conversation moved into what happened a week prior; the night they almost killed him. It was easily the worst beating he'd ever received, and it also confirmed for him what he'd always known deep down; that his family didn't love him. He hadn't talked about it in detail before because it was too horrific and he didn't want to trouble anyone else with it. But she insisted he keep going, that as much as it hurt to hear, she told him he needed to share it lest it become too much for him to bear again. She was right, it was a relief share; to not have to cope with it by himself.

"Monsters," Annabelle replied, tears streaking her face when he was through. It was all she could muster; she was at a loss for words.

"They were miserable people and made sure that their children were equally so," Sirius said. "They only had children to make sure the money stayed in the family, not because they wanted us. They didn't even like each other really… their marriage was arranged."

"Honestly, I am amazed that you survived at all."

Sirius sighed softly. "Annabelle?"

"Yes?"

"You're not put off by my outburst earlier?"

"Sirius, no, why would I be?"

"In my house you were called a slew of names for crying; sissy, gutless, coward…. Of course it also earned you a thrashing with my father's walking stick."

"Well, that explains your reluctance. But I think you were very brave to let it out." She reached over and squeezed his hand. He still seemed embarrassed, though, and that was the last thing she wanted him to feel with her.

"My granddad used to cry for anything," she said. "Happy, sad, you name it. A song that reminded him of my granny- tears. My first tooth falling out- tears. Every time my mum would drop in, or he'd go scouring the streets for her with no success- tears. Would you call Darien O'Neill a gutless coward? A sissy?"

"Absolutely not," he replied, chuckling a little at the idea of anyone calling a hero like that a coward.

"Well, there you are," she said. "Neither are you."

Sirius absently rolled his wand back and forth across the map as he looked at her. Her hair was dishevelled from sleep and he felt the sudden urge to run his fingers through it. She noticed the direction of his gaze and her hand moved to her head as she self-consciously attempted to tame the unruly locks.

"I must look a mess," she said.

He gently put his hand over hers, stopping the smoothing motion, then brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "You are as lovely right now as you were Christmas night."

She grinned and said, "How did I ever fall for a charmer such as yourself?"

"I'm not charming you, Annie. I'm being honest."

She ran her forefinger across his bottom lip, and for a charged moment their eyes met. Then his hand was on the back of her neck, his lips pressed against hers. She noticed that his tongue tasted sweet, like the custard from the trifle they'd just eaten, yet he was far more delicious. It had felt like an eternity since they last kissed, even though it hadn't been nearly that long.

The sound of a door creaking open somewhere caused them to open their eyes and pull apart. Annabelle hated to leave the dishes sitting there, but Sirius had already grabbed the map and thrown the cloak over them.

"I think the house-elves are coming," he whispered, holding his watch up so she could see the time. It was five in the morning. They made it out of the kitchens and up to the ground floor where they stopped to check the map. "Shite! McGonagall's moving about."

"What should we do?" asked Annabelle.

"Leg it," he replied.

They ran as quickly as they could with the cloak over them. It slipped off a few times, but Sirius felt they should put it back on in case anyone else made a surprise appearance when they weren't monitoring the map. They stopped when they got close to Gryffindor Tower to check the map again. McGonagall's dot was swiftly moving in the same direction, most likely doing an early morning walkthrough of the castle.

Annabelle gasped, but Sirius assured her, "We can make it, come on!"

Pure adrenaline carried them up to the seventh floor. As they stepped through the portrait hole they heard the echo of Professor McGonagall's throat clearing; she was that close. Their hearts were pounding as they frantically untangled themselves from the invisibility cloak, laughing at themselves in the process. They bounded toward their respective staircases and peeked at each other one more time when they heard the portrait opening. Turning on their heels, they flew the rest of the distance to their rooms, taking the stairs two or three at a time. They had made it, barely.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At breakfast a few hours later, Twyla and Zelda sat away from them again, still offended by Sirius' reprimand to Zelda the morning before. Even though it pleased Sirius to have a break from them, he did feel bad that he'd frightened them.

"I should apologise to her," Sirius said.

"Wait," Annabelle replied. "Not yet. Let's just have one morning of peace."

Sirius laughed. "Sounds good to me."

The owls flew in just then, dropping the morning post. Nico was sitting with the Hufflepuffs, and when he cried out gleefully, Annabelle and Sirius looked down the table at him. He got up and rushed over to them.

"My mum woke up! The healers say she's going to be fine!"

"Oh Nico, that is wonderful!" Annabelle exclaimed and gave him a hug.

"Yeah, mate, so glad to hear it," replied Sirius.

"My dad's coming to get me soon," Nico said. "I get to see her."

"Tell her hello from us," said Annabelle.

"I will," he answered as he dashed out of the Great Hall, presumably to inform Dumbledore that he'd be leaving.

"What excellent news," Sirius said.

"Yes, it truly is."

Annabelle had a letter as well. It was from Johnny B. and all it said was, **_Help. I think I'm in love. WITH A MUGGLE. I blame you! xx_**

She laughed and said, "Our Johnny B. is in love."

"With Matthew I presume?"

"Right, you are."

"I think I also owe Matthew an apology," Sirius said. "I wasn't very friendly to him."

"Everyone's entitled to a bad day. Besides, you are so cute when you're jealous."

Sirius grinned sheepishly. "It was that obvious, yeah?"

"Yep. But even if Matthew had been more interested in me than Johnny B., you had nothing to be jealous of. Do you think I'm that fickle?"

"No," replied Sirius. "I wasn't really thinking clearly. I had a lot on my mind."

She gently rubbed his arm. "I know you did."

"You know, all this talk of me opening up and you've been carrying some heavy stuff around all week," he said. "I wish you'd told me about it."

Annabelle felt guilt nudge her. She had only told him about her struggle over her mum because she wanted to get through to him, otherwise she may not have ever filled him in. It was embarrassing. But now she could see what a hypocrite she'd be if she brushed it off as nothing when he'd shared some of the darkest moments of his life with her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she said.

"I wish you could talk to me the way you do Johnny B." he replied. "You talk so freely with him about everything. I want you be comfortable talking to me like that as well."

"I guess I don't want you think I'm crazy."

"But you don't care if Johnny B. thinks you're crazy?

"He already does," she said with a chuckle.

"Your mother made mistakes, Annabelle. But they were her mistakes, not yours."

"Sure she did, and I was her biggest one," she replied. "A life-shattering consequence of her careless behaviour. A mistake that she wrote off as a burden for her parents to deal with while she chose drugs instead."

Annabelle's issues with her mother ran deeper than Sirius had thought. He clutched her hand and spoke firmly. "You are not a mistake. Look at me, Annabelle." She did as she was told. "You are _not_ a mistake. In fact, you may be the one great thing your mother ever did with her life. Her greatest achievement, you are, and it's her loss that she couldn't see that. Her loss, but my gain."

Annabelle looked at him. He was the concerned one now, his brow furrowed with worry over her. She had always felt like a mistake, yet there he was he telling her otherwise. It seemed impossible that she could love him even more than she had before he said that, but she did.

"Do you believe me?" he asked as he searched her face for an answer. "Come on, Annie. Please tell me you believe me."

"Yes, I believe you."

"Do you trust that I would never let you go off the rails like she did?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then just be Annabelle without fear and trust me to look out for you. I'll keep you safe, all right?"

"All right," she replied. "But only if you trust me to do the same for you."

He grinned. "We have a deal."

"Promise?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder and looking up at him.

"I promise. Oh, and one more thing."

"What is it?"

"I might go mad if I don't kiss you right now."

"We can't have that, now can we?"

He leaned in and had barely met her lips when they heard the snickering of Zelda and Twyla.

"Let's get out of here," she said, and taking his hand they left the Great Hall.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Nico was in the common room with his bag packed, looking out the window at the snow. Sirius and Annabelle plunked down on the sofa, figuring it better to wait until he was gone instead of attempting to sneak up the boys' staircase. They talked with Nico for a few minutes, and just as he was leaving to meet his father in Dumbledore's office, Zelda and Twyla arrived.

Zelda looked down her nose at Sirius in indignation, and Twyla did her best to copy her. The former stood with her arms crossed for a moment, glaring at him dramatically, then they sat down at a study table and continued to appear incensed. Sirius and Annabelle tried not to laugh at her, but she was so melodramatic that they couldn't help it.

"Is something funny?" Zelda called out to them. This only amused them more, but Sirius decided to put Zelda out of her misery.

As he stood up, Annabelle whispered, "Better make it good." Sirius nodded confidently and winked at her in response.

"Zelda, dear Zelda," he said as he approached the girl at the table. Her arms were still crossed defiantly as she looked at him, her face irate. He got down on his knee and hung his head as if kneeling before a monarch, and continued, "My most humble apologies for how I spoke to you yesterday. It was rude and uncalled for, and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

Zelda's lips tightly fought the urge to smile. Twyla was already giggling. Annabelle was impressed; he clearly had her in the palm of his hand, but after a gallant display like that, she couldn't imagine anyone being able to sustain a grudge against him, no matter what the offence.

"All right, I forgive you," she said, grinning despite her attempts to appear indifferent.

Sirius looked up at her and smiled. "May I rise, Your Highness?"

Both girls giggled this time, and Zelda replied, "You may."

He stood up, gave a little bow, and turned back to the sofa. Right before he was about to sit down, he quipped, "And stir your bloody tea properly from now on."

Zelda shouted, "Cheeky prat!" and threw her wand at him.

He shielded himself and laughed, saying, "I jest, I jest!" Then he picked up her wand and tossed it back to her before resuming his position next to Annabelle.

"That was rather chivalrous, up until the last part anyway."

"I thought you'd appreciate the last part, ya tea snob," he said as he slipped his arm around her.

"Oh, trust me, I did. My ears will appreciate it as well if she heeds your command."

Sirius glanced up over the back of the couch, then pulled a face. "Looks like they're dragging out the Gobstones set."

Annabelle rolled her eyes and leaned around the sofa. She called to them, "Why don't you two go outside and get some fresh air? You can play Gobstones later."

"It's too cold outside," said Twyla.

Annabelle sighed in frustration.

"All right, Annie," Sirius murmured. "Time to take matters into our own hands. Let's go get our coats, hats, and scarves. _Don't forget_ your hat and scarf."

"Our coats? It's bloody cold out there."

"You said you trusted me, yeah?"

Annabelle nodded and said, "Of course, but-"

"Shhh. Just go along with it."

They got up and went to their rooms, returning with their coats, hats, and scarves.

"Do us a favour?" Sirius asked the girls. "If McGonagall comes looking for us, tell her we went for a walk on the grounds. Understood?"

"Sure," replied Zelda.

"Cheers," he said and he took Annabelle by the hand, leading her out of the portrait hole. Instead of going in the direction of an exit, he led her on a winding journey to the same part of the castle that their secret room was located. He had the map with him and checked it a few times along the way. Soon they entered a room that seemed to be a parlour of some kind. The furniture was covered in sheets and the heavy, long curtains were drawn giving it an eerie feeling. He led her over to a massive stone fireplace and pulled out the envelope of Floo Powder Dumbledore had given him.

"Now, put your hat on and wrap your scarf up to your eyes."

As she followed his directions, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"Well, you see… I feel really awful that you never got your fish-n-chips in the newspaper that you were looking forward to. So I figured, why not go get some for lunch? Since Dumbledore was rather generous with the Floo Powder, I'd say we have enough to get us there and back again."

"Sirius," Annabelle said. "This is mad. We can't just go to London! And it's not even lunch time, so there."

"Why not?" he demanded. "We can kill time, see the sights, then we eat and come back. We're sixteen, no parents to forbid us, I've got muggle money in my pocket … we can do whatever we bloody well want to."

"You have a point there," she replied. "But there's rules to staying here over the holiday. One is you can't go gallivanting across England whenever it suits you. If we get caught-"

"If we get caught, it will be a slap on the wrist. Detention, maybe. They aren't going to do shite to us and you know it."

Annabelle thought it over and said, "You're right. I can't believe I'm considering this. I mean really. How do you know this fireplace is connected to the Floo Network?"

"We tested it out about a month ago."

"Of course you did," she replied, nodding in understanding. "Pure messers, the lot of you."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Annie. Do you really want to be stuck here all day, running errands, babysitting first years, doing whatever else McGonagall comes up with to ruin our fun?"

"Of course not."

He could be very persuasive when he wanted to be, and she began to see things his way. Other than the being underage and leaving the grounds without permission bit, why should they have to answer to anyone?

"You said you would trust me to keep you safe. Were you just saying that or did you mean it?" he challenged her.

She took a deep breath. "No, I meant it… Let's go then."

He smiled in satisfaction and wrapped his scarf around his face. Then he poured some Floo Powder into his hand and tossed it into the fireplace. The green flames beckoned and soon they were stepping out of the hearth at the Leaky Cauldron.

Before heading for the exit, he pulled her hat down over her eyebrows to ensure her identity would be concealed. "Let's get out of here quickly in case anyone recognises us."

"I can't believe we are doing this," she said, as she followed him to the door, clutching his hand for dear life.

Once they were a safe distance away from the Leaky Cauldron, they unwrapped the scarves from their faces, but kept the winter hats on because London was colder than it had been the day before. They decided to walk down to the embankment.

"Come on, Annabelle, stop panicking and enjoy the moment," Sirius said as he pulled her to him and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You'll be sorry you didn't when we're back at the castle."

He was right. It was done already, so she might as well have some fun. When they reached the river, they sat down on a bench and watched the barges passing and the seagulls flying about.

"If only it was summer time," Annabelle said as she shivered. "Not quite as pleasant in the dead of winter, is it?"

"We'll come back this summer," he replied. "But for now, I'll keep you warm."

Her eyes shyly met his and he took her face in his hands, softly kissing her. Then he pulled back to look at her again.

"Look at you with your rosy cheeks," he said, completely enthralled with the girl before him, this girl that trusted him with her heart, and now, her well-being. She smiled, and he thought his heart would jump right out of his chest. Their lips met again and they kissed, uninterrupted, for quite a while until they were numb from the cold.

The Tate Gallery was only a few tube stops away, so they headed to the underground and made the short trip. After spending an hour walking around the museum, they sat down in the Pre-Raphaelite gallery.

"These are my favourites," said Annabelle.

"Is there one you like the best?" Sirius asked her.

"Hmmm, I think 'Ophelia.' Or maybe 'The Lady of Shalott.'"

"They are both nice," he said, then pointed to a painting at the far end of the gallery. "Look at that one. It's a witch, brewing something in a cauldron."

"Maybe the painter was a wizard."

Sirius replied, "You might be right. She looks rather normal. A muggle would have painted her with a green face and a wart on her nose."

"True," Annabelle said. "Do you have a favourite?"

"I think…that one over there, the woman in the blue dress."

"You fancy her, do you?" Annabelle teased.

"Only because she reminds me of you."

Annabelle's cheeks had barely had a chance to recover from the cold and now they flushed red again. She smiled, and nudging his knee with hers, she replied bashfully, "Ah, would ya stop!"

"Again, it's the truth. And your modesty only makes you more enchanting."

"Sirius, stop now or I will be forced to snog you silly right here, and then we will be in real trouble."

"Might be worth the trouble," he replied.

"Let's go. I think it's close to lunch time," she said, standing up and holding out her hand. He took it and they ambled off through the museum to the exit.

They took the underground back to the circle line, then a few more stops to Gloucester Road. There was chip shop there Annabelle remembered going to with Mrs. Brennan on occasion; she had a son that lived in the neighbourhood. After popping over to see him, they would always go to the chippy up the road a ways.

"We might as well get it on a plate and sit down," Annabelle said. "It's too cold out there for take-away."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. The newspaper doesn't make it taste any better."

Once they got their food and sat down, Sirius watched as Annabelle drowned her chips in vinegar.

"Save some for the next person, Annie."

Annabelle laughed and replied, "It's how I like it. You got a problem with that?" She gave the bottle a few more shakes then passed it to him.

"Not at all… Enjoy your vinegar and chips." He made a face indicating he thought she was crazy and she laughed again.

It was fun spending the day alone with him, she thought. It felt like a date, something they'd never been on before. Dates were kind of unnecessary at boarding school, since you sort of lived together already, but Annabelle came to the conclusion that a date, alone, outside of school was something she wanted to experience again with him. There was something special about it; maybe it was that they felt more like adults; that they could decide things for themselves, since no one was there to monitor them, and they could be together, just the two of them, without interruption.

When they were finished, they walked hand in hand back to the station and took the tube back to where they started. They took their time walking back the Leaky Cauldron, holding hands and stopping for a kiss every once in a while. Once they arrived, they stopped outside the door, not wanting to return just yet.

Annabelle wrapped her arms around his waist and said, "You were right, Sirius. This was completely worth the risk."

"Don't jinx us. We're not in the clear yet," he replied as he pulled her hat down over her eyes, trying to get a rise out of her.

"You better hope we are in the clear," she threatened as she shoved the hat up again. "Or this trust thing is going out the window."

"You don't mean it, my love," he said with grin.

"Who am I kidding? I'd follow you anywhere, even if it lands me in a whole heap of trouble."

"At least you won't be alone in your trouble," he replied.

Just then the door of the pub opened and out stepped Professor Slughorn. Sirius and Annabelle huddled together and wrapped their scarves around their faces. Thankfully, he didn't look in their direction, and after a moment's hesitation he wandered off into muggle London as they slinked inside the Leaky Cauldron before he had a chance to look back.

Annabelle glanced about as they skirted round the tables on their way to the fireplace, curious to see if anyone they knew was there. Sirius had his hand on the small of her back as he followed close behind. There didn't seem to be anyone they recognised so they unwrapped their scarves from their faces; it was too stuffy inside to keep them on and they'd be back at Hogwarts in few minutes anyway.

She saw him before Sirius did, her stomach doing a violent flip as she recognised the youth from Sirius' pictures staring intently back at her. Sirius heard her quiet gasp, and he scanned the room with his eyes as she took his hand and tried to hurry him toward the fireplace.

He froze when he saw him, sitting there with his fiancée at a table by a window that overlooked Diagon Alley. Annabelle gave Sirius' hand a gentle tug, but when he didn't move, she knew it was too late.

Regulus had looked away, pretending he hadn't seen them. Annabelle thought that was unnecessarily cruel; this was his little brother after all, but then again, hadn't cruelty been the Black Family way? She got in front of Sirius who averted his sombre gaze from his brother back to her.

"What do you want to do?" she asked him.

He glanced back at his brother, the despondency filling his eyes again.

"Look at me," she said, putting a hand on his cheek. "He's lost. You can't change that."

"I want him to know they didn't break me. That they didn't win."

"Let's show him, then."

She put her arms around his neck, and pressed herself against him. He seemed to understand and squeezed her tightly as he kissed her mouth with such urgency that she felt momentarily weak. She didn't care if people were staring; something about the day had liberated her. They staggered slightly and bumped up against the bar for good measure, accidentally knocking an empty beer bottle over in the process. It was a serendipitous mishap because it guaranteed Regulus would look at them again, if he wasn't looking already.

The bartender made his way over, and cleared his throat loudly. Annabelle and Sirius stopped kissing, and with their arms still wrapped around each other, turned to the man; inquisitive looks on their faces.

"If you're here to eat, have a seat. Otherwise, we've rooms for rent upstairs," the bartender muttered irritably.

They looked back at each other and burst out laughing. The bartender stared them down, though, and told them to scram.

Sirius took Annabelle's hand and whisked her to the fireplace, stealing a glimpse of Regulus on his way. He was watching them, a perturbed look on his face. At the hearth, Sirius took out the Floo Powder, tossed some into the fireplace, and stepped inside, pulling Annabelle into his arms. Just before Sirius called out their destination, Annabelle gave Regulus a cheeky little wave of her hand, and with a blaze of green flame, they were gone.

 

 


	49. Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Mature content*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Last chapter! Thanks to everyone who has been reading along. Please review!
> 
> Just a reminder, this story is rated Mature (for a reason!) Also, in case you forgot, I don't employ the fan-created "contraception charm" in my stories. I believe even magic should have some limitations! Ha!  
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Remus had been feeling sick for a few days before Johnny B. popped into his family's kitchen on Saturday morning, insisting he join their mates in London. Remus hated to be left out of the fun. Too many times he had to miss out because of the impending full moon, but almost all of his friends were going, and it would have gutted him to be stuck at home while they were all together. Besides, he'd already told them he was going to try to be there.

So he allowed Johnny B. to lay on the charm with his mother, who was more than happy to let him go after all of Johnny B.'s sweet talk. But Remus had to beg his father. He felt stupid begging, but his father kept him so sheltered that he often felt like home was a prison. Finally, his father gave in, but made Remus promise to be back at the Leaky Cauldron by three o'clock or he'd have both their heads; Johnny B.'s for illegal apparition and Remus' for not following orders.

It had been a mistake. He had been in pain the entire time he was in London. His joints were aching, his skin felt sore, and he had begun to feel feverish as soon as they left the Leaky Cauldron and the cold air hit him. Their voices were grating on him and the jostling of the train made him want to vomit. He knew they understood, but it didn't make it any easier. When he returned home, he felt like he'd run a marathon after being hit by a lorry.

That evening he curled up on his bed and looked over at his desk to the letter he'd received from Claire. He hadn't bothered to ask her to join them in London, mainly because he knew her parents wouldn't let her spend the day among muggles in a sprawling city with a boy they'd never met. But even if they had been really lax, or crazy for that matter, he shuddered at the thought of her seeing him in his current state. He'd tried to keep her at arm's length, hoping to just be friends with her, but it hadn't worked. He fancied her as more than a friend, and no matter how hard he fought with himself for feeling that way, he couldn't help it.

Her letter had been short, but incredibly sweet.

**_Dear Remus,_ **

**_I hope you had a happy Christmas. I think of you every day, and I can't wait until break is over so I can see you again. I hope it's all right that I told my parents about you. You mean a lot to me and I wanted them to know. Please, write to me soon. I miss you._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_Claire_ **

After he'd read it, he felt ashamed that he hadn't mentioned her to his parents, but what would be the point? His mother would get her hopes up that her son had found a girlfriend, and his father would immediately crush them. Then he would turn around and crush Remus' hopes as well, warning him about the probable outcome of leading a girl on- in the end she would run screaming for the hills. He knew his father meant to protect him from hurt feelings, but he didn't seem to realise that constantly reminding him he was a monster only served to hurt him more.

The next day, he was worse. He had barely moved from his bed; he was shaking too hard to get up. Soon his father would be there to help him down to the cellar where he'd be locked up, surrounded by impenetrable stone walls with the only exit locked four different ways and charmed, not only to prevent him from escaping, but to prevent the sounds of his suffering from drifting upstairs to his parents' ears.

An image of her flashed before his eyes; her long dark hair always held back with a velvet band, her shy smile, her creamy skin. Then the anguish followed. He had no right to lead her on, to deceive her, but she couldn't know the truth either.

"I'm so sorry, Claire," he said in a trembling breath.

A tear dripped from his eye and mingled with the beads of sweat that dappled his skin. His body shook violently and pain coursed through his every cell. He knew when he got back to school he would have to end it. She could never know this grotesque, beastly part of him. It was for the best, not only for the sake of Claire's heart, but for his own as well.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius and Annabelle stepped out of the fireplace in the room from which they'd started out and Sirius immediately opened up the map. The only presence remotely close to them was that of the Grey Lady, and she usually minded her own business. He suggested they head toward the Great Hall just in case anyone was still in there for lunch, just to make an appearance. No one was there though, so they turned toward the Grand Staircase.

"And this is how we wipe the map clean, just in case it gets lost or something," Sirius said. He tapped the map again and said quietly, "Mischief managed." Annabelle watched as the diagram disappeared.

"You thought of everything, didn't you?" she said as they started up the stairs.

"I'll have you know we're not irresponsible troublemakers." He folded the map and shoved it in his pocket. "I think we're in the clear now, don't you?"

Annabelle was about to agree when they heard a throat clearing behind their backs. They turned to see Professor McGonagall standing with her hands on her hips, looking rather irritated.

"I hope you enjoyed your stroll around the grounds."

Annabelle and Sirius glanced nervously at each other before turning back to face her. At what point had she gone looking for them? Recently? Or had she asked for them three hours ago? She wouldn't believe they'd been outside for three hours… Annabelle's heart started to pound.

"Yes, ma'am, we did," replied Sirius. "It was chilly but invigorating at the same time. Are you feeling better today?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn't flinch.

"I am, thank you," she replied. "I have a job for you. I'd like you to escort the students to Hogsmeade for a few hours. Hagrid will be going with you, but he will need your assistance, mainly with the younger students. Please, go to each common room and ask who would like to go along, then bring me a list of who is staying behind."

Sirius and Annabelle couldn't think of anything they'd rather do less. Apparently Professor McGonagall didn't care that they'd just come inside from a long walk on the grounds.

"Can't we warm up a bit first, Professor?" asked Sirius.

"You look plenty warm to me," she replied sternly. "Now, please do as I instructed you. The other students might enjoy a diversion."

"Yes, ma'am," they droned, and trudged off to round up the students.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Johnny B. had spent the entire morning trying to convince his mother to have telephone service installed in their flat. It had been incredibly awkward when Matthew had asked for his phone number and he had to come up with some barmy excuse as to why they had no telephone. It was even more awkward when he had to lie about the poor postal service in his area. Thankfully, Lily offered to forward letters sent from Matthew to him as well, or else Matthew would have thought he was trying to brush him off.

Johnny B. had never had a boyfriend before. Being the only openly gay student at a very traditional boarding school in the 1970s didn't present him with a lot of options. He knew he wasn't the only one, but he couldn't out the others he suspected either. He didn't fancy any of them anyway. He'd been tempted to out that wanker Bertram Aubrey for the shite he'd put him through third year, but he figured being trapped in the closet while pretending to be homophobic was torture enough, so he let it go.

Matthew had taken him off guard. Besides the fact that he was hotter than hot, he was into sport as well. They had talked the afternoon away, even grabbing a bite to eat after Lily and James had left for the Leaky Cauldron. Matthew had _hugged_ him good-bye. The fact that he was a muggle made it exciting to him in a way. They were so different from each other, yet so much alike. The added bonus was that Matthew was interested in him too.

"Come on, mum, please?" Johnny B. implored. "What's the big deal?"

His mum was running around the kitchen, making sure dinner was prepared for them before she left. A co-worker who had taken ill had asked her cover her schedule for the afternoon. As much as she'd wanted to spend the day with her son before he went back to Hogwarts, she could never say no when someone needed her help.

"Johnny, you know we can't pay for it. I am a hairdresser in Diagon Alley. I don't make muggle money."

"But we can exchange it, mum!"

"Or transfigure it!" piped his little brother Sam.

"You want to be queuing at the exchange counter in Gringotts every month to pay another bill I can't afford?" she challenged him. "Because I don't. And I'm going to pretend I didn't hear what you said, Sammy, because it's illegal."

"I don't mind going to Gringotts every month!" Johnny B. replied. "I'll get a job and pay for it myself!"

"Doing what? You are still in school!" his mother exclaimed. "Does this boy not have an owl? Come on, Johnny, even muggle-borns have owls!"

Johnny B. grew silent, not able to look her in the eye. She could read him like a book, though. She stopped what she was doing and said evenly, "This boy wouldn't happen to be a muggle, would he?"

Again, he didn't speak. Instead, he looked down at his hands in his lap, a guilty frown on his face.

"Johnny! Are you trying to get us arrested? You've heard of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, haven't you? What if he found out you're a wizard and tried to harm you because of it? Now I'm sure you believe this boy is different, but you don't know him and it's not worth the risk."

"Okay, mum," Johnny B. responded sadly. "I get it."

"Sweetheart, it's for your own good. There will be other boys."

Johnny B. hung his head and sighed. No there wouldn't, he thought, not like Matthew. Love Hurts wasn't just a song it turned out. It really did hurt, but in a stirring way that made Johnny B. want to sigh euphorically one minute and rip his hair out the next. At least he had one thing working in his favour; Matthew was friends with Annabelle. She would help him out. Besides, she owed him one for all the times he'd helped her out with whatever crisis she was dealing with at the time. His mum should know that it wasn't that simple; that he couldn't just erase Matthew from his mind, even if he tried. She'd been in love once. He wished she would try to see things his way, but as much as it pained him to do so, he knew he'd just have to go behind her back. Screw the ministry.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius and Annabelle sat side by side at a table in Madam Puddifoot's watching over Zelda, Twyla, Phillip, and Faustus, who were sitting at their own table drinking hot chocolate and generally mucking about. It appeared that the boys were telling dirty jokes, causing the girls to react with overly exaggerated sounds of disgust.

Sirius yawned, causing Annabelle to yawn in turn. Neither had slept much more after returning to their rooms that morning and their early wake up time was catching up with them.

"So that was your brother," she said, figuring it better to bring it up than pretend nothing had happened.

"So that was my brother," he echoed. "Friendly lad, isn't he?"

"Well, I think we showed him that you're surviving without them, and rather happily I might add."

Sirius thought about the scene they'd made at The Leaky Cauldron. "I bet he and his wife-to-be never snog like that."

"That's quite a shame," Annabelle said. "What a waste of lips."

Sirius laughed softly and stroked her hair, wishing they could be snogging in his room instead of babysitting in Hogsmeade. "And this is a waste of _time_ ," he said. "I think Professor McGonagall has it in for us, I know it."

"We should've just stayed in London," bemoaned Annabelle.

"We could always go back. Just say when."

"We could," she replied, a little half smile playing at her lips.

"Do my ears deceive me, or do I detect in your voice a sudden willingness to break the rules?"

"You might, but only if you're with me when said rule-breaking occurs."

Sirius grinned as the prospects for adventure seemed to multiply in his mind, now that she seemed agreeable to more daring escapades. "The new year is shaping up to be even more exciting than I had previously anticipated," he replied, his grey eyes alight with mischief.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Lily, dear, will you please run up to Sainsbury's and pick up a few things for me?"

"Sure mum," Lily replied. She had been sitting at her desk working like mad on her History of Magic assignment. Her fingers were stained with black ink and they were sore from the death grip she had on the quill. Her last conversation with Petunia before Vernon had come to take them to London had lit a fire in her.

"Must be quite the easy school," Petunia had said. "I haven't seen you open a book all week. Of course, learning magic tricks and calling it school seems rather ridiculous when you think about it."

"Because your school was so difficult." Lily didn't have the energy to defend Hogwarts again, or explain how demanding most classes were. Petunia wouldn't have cared anyway.

"I was _this close_ to being head girl," replied Petunia. "Doubt you ever will be. What do they even call it at your school? Head weirdo?"

 _Just you wait, Tuney. You won't be getting the last laugh this time_ , she thought. As much as she would have preferred to keep working, she figured a break might be in order and she went downstairs to put her coat on.

"Make sure you check the dates on the perishables, dear," her mother said as she handed her a list and some money. "Your father brought home expired milk last week."

"Okay, mum."

Lily headed out, passing the park she used to play at with her sister as children. She felt a pang of sadness for the two little girls that they were, but quickly reminded herself that Petunia was the one with the problem. Lily couldn't stop her from looking down her nose at her. When she got to the supermarket, she grabbed a shopping trolley and leaned against the handle, slowly perusing the shelves for the items her mum requested. As she rounded the corner to the cereal aisle, she bumped trolleys with none other than Severus Snape.

"Sorry," she said curtly.

"I'm sorry," he said at the same time.

She backed up and steered around him, glancing at him uncomfortably. He kept his eyes trained on the contents of his trolley, not moving until she was well past him, and then he quickly hurried off down another aisle.

Again, she felt a pang of sadness. She hated how things were between them, but he'd changed in his manner with her over the years. He was never an overly friendly person, but she used to be able to talk to him. In their first few years at Hogwarts, he had listened to her pour her heart over her problems with her sister, comforted her when she was homesick, and even coached her in potion brewing so she'd be on even footing with the students who grew up in wizarding families. He'd been the first to make her feel special because of her abilities.

Many times she resisted the urge to grab him and shake him, to demand he stop messing around with the likes of that particular gang of Slytherin thugs, but she knew it wasn't her place to tell him whom to be friends with. As much as she wanted him to make friends, those deviants weren't what she'd had in mind. If only he had been more accepting of the friends she'd made. But he wasn't, and he never would be.

She knew he was hurting as well, especially since she got back together with James. James was charismatic, funny, and handsome, and had never once called her a mudblood. He had never tried to control her. He'd never helped brew a potion for the sole intention of hurting her friends. Sure, she and James had their highs and lows, but the highs seemed to be winning lately. And she was in love with him; madly, insanely in love with him, something she never was with Severus, nor could she be. James and Severus couldn't have been more different if they tried.

At breakfast one morning before break, James had got into an antagonistic staring contest with Severus across the Great Hall.

"They are like oil and water," Alice had observed.

"Snivellus is definitely the oil in that analogy," Peter had replied.

And Lily had laughed his joke. Once upon a time she'd have beaten herself up for laughing at a remark like that, or better yet, she'd have told off the person who said it. But so much had happened to drive a wedge between them, so much hurt from words that couldn't be taken back.

Then there was the way he seemed go after innocents as his revenge. First Remus, who he'd hounded like crazy, cruelly trying to expose his affliction, then Annabelle, making the potion that led to her being publicly humiliated and heartbroken, and why? Because they associated with James and Sirius? At the rate he was going, Lily wondered if she'd be next.

As she was checking out, she caught his eye again a few counters over. _Great_ , she thought. She wished her cashier would hurry up so she could leave before him. Finally, she grabbed her bags and took off for the exit. Just as she made it out the door, one of her paper bags started to rip.

"Bugger!" she exclaimed and hoisted it into her arms.

"Let me help you with that, Lily," came Severus' voice from behind her.

She looked at him in frustration, not wanting his help. He had already taken the bag in his free arm, and they started walking. It was the most awkward ten minutes of her life since neither of them knew what to say.

Finally, Severus broke the tension. "How's your family?"

"They're well. Yours?"

"Same."

There was another drawn out silence and Lily wished she was home already. As they passed the park where they'd met, he stopped.

"Listen, Lily, I know you think I'm terrible for brewing those potions for Elsinore and Malachi, but-"

"It was a terrible thing to do."

"You don't understand. I don't have-"

"Stop," Lily commanded. "Just stop. I don't want to hear your excuses. It was disgusting. There is no excuse."

She turned and kept walking, faster this time. She was almost home.

"I guess I shouldn't expect you understand what it's like," he said.

"That's just it! I don't understand you, I don't understand why you would help people do something so dark and twisted…"

"Black has done his fair share of twisted things to me."

"Annabelle hasn't!" she yelled. "When you targeted her you showed me that you are selfish and cruel, and no better than the bullies you complain about!"

"You mean like your boyfriend?"

Lily glared at him. "Oh, here we go. Maybe if you'd have minded your own business from the start, he wouldn't find you so contemptible."

"As I said, you don't understand."

"I don't want to understand. That would make me as depraved as you and your mates."

She took the broken bag from his arms, balancing it against her shoulder. "Thank you for your help."

"Lily, wait, please."

"I don't have time to wait. I have a lot of work to do."

She turned and swiftly walked the rest of the way to her house. She was at her door when she looked back, but he was gone.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

At dinner that evening, Zelda and Twyla were back, sitting directly across from Sirius and Annabelle again, and they were as annoying as ever. Veronica and Tamir were also seated with them, while Faustus and Phillip sat at one of end the table looking like they were plotting something, and the Ravenclaw girls sat at the other end, keeping to themselves as usual.

"Let's do something fun later," Zelda suggested. "We could play Hide-and-Seek!"

Sirius almost snorted water out of his nose. "Where? In the common room? I'll find you in under a second."

Zelda frowned, and Twyla mimicked her expression. Then Zelda perked up again. "Maybe we could play on the seventh floor! We can ask McGonagall."

"That might be fun, actually," said Veronica.

"It might be, except McGonagall will say no," Sirius responded rather morosely. "She doesn't take kindly to fun."

"I heard her telling Dumbledore she'd be back by ten o'clock," said Veronica. "She stepped out for the evening."

Annabelle's face brightened. "Think she's on a date?"

"Isn't she too old for that?" asked Tamir.

"Bloody hell, you act like she's got one foot in the grave," retorted Annabelle. "She's only forty-something."

"Well that changes things," replied Sirius, less interested in the professor's love life than the fact that she was gone until ten o'clock. "Hide-and-Seek might be fun, but not on the seventh floor."

"Where, then?" asked Zelda.

"The dungeons of course. That's the only way I'm playing."

"That's too scary," said Twyla, who looked like she was about to cry.

"We'll use a buddy system," Annabelle suggested. "Think of it as teams."

"Should we see if the others want to play?" Veronica asked.

"That would be nice," Annabelle replied. "Faustus and Phillip will play, but I don't know about them." She motioned to the four girls at the end of the table.

"I'll ask them," Veronica said and walked down to where they were sitting.

The others watched to gauge their reaction. The oldest, Josephine, shook her head no, but one of the younger ones seemed to be trying to convince her.

"Merlin, they're a drag," Sirius said.

"The two younger ones are right fun," said Tamir. "It's the older two that act like grannies."

Veronica returned with the verdict. "Charlotte and Laura are in. Josephine and Rebecca passed."

"Snobs," said Zelda.

After dinner, Filch told the students if they needed anything, he'd be in his office, which meant, as everyone knew, he'd be having an after dinner snooze. They pretended to head toward their own common rooms at his direction, but once he was out of the way, they met outside the Hufflepuff common room then headed to the lower dungeons. It was quite dark down there, the only light coming from a few dim torches.

They partnered off by house, except for the Gryffindors who had two teams.

"The rules are if you get caught, you're out. If you make it back to this door right here without being caught, you're safe," Sirius explained. "And no magic allowed, except the team doing the seeking. They can use their wands for light."

"We should stay in one wing and one level, or else this game will go on all night," Annabelle suggested.

"All right then, we stay on the west side, and no one goes past the Potions classroom," replied Sirius.

"And no one goes off alone, under any circumstance," she added. "And no roughness. A simple touch is all that is needed to tag."

They nodded in understanding, then began to argue over who would "seek" first until the younger students ganged up on Sirius and Annabelle, insisting the oldest should have to.

"Fine with me," Sirius said with a shrug. "We could easily catch all of you."

Annabelle's expression indicated that she wasn't so sure, but his competitiveness always amused her so she didn't contradict him. They turned toward the wall and closed their eyes while the other students scurried off to hide. They gave them to the count of twenty and then Sirius shouted, "Ready or not, here we come!"

"I heard them go that way," he said. "But I have a feeling the Ravenclaws are just around the opposite corner and as soon as we go after the others they will make a run for it."

"Let's not tag them out already," Annabelle said. "This is the first time they wanted to associate with us."

"You are too nice," he replied. "I'd have them out, then turn the corner and tag the rest of them. Game over. We win."

Annabelle laughed quietly and said, "I believe you could do it, but let's try to make it fun for them, yeah?"

"All right, I concede," he reluctantly agreed.

They went in the opposite direction from where he was convinced the Ravenclaws were hiding, and sure enough, as soon as they were a safe distance from home base, Charlotte and Laura made a beeline for the door.

"SAFE!" they called out, laughing and jumping around.

"Amateurs," Sirius muttered under his breath.

They stepped into the room where they thought they'd heard a noise and found Faustus and Phillip huddled under a table.

"Tag, tag," Sirius said as he touched each of their heads. "You're it."

The two of them begrudgingly trudged back to home base while Annabelle called out, "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

"You're supposed to say 'Olly olly oxen free,'" Zelda corrected her as she appeared from around a corner.

"When it's your turn, say it your way," advised Annabelle.

Next, it was Faustus and Phillip's turn to count. Sirius grabbed Annabelle by the hand and ran, shooing Zelda and Twyla away when they tried to follow. He led her around several corners and under a low alcove that featured a small crawl space at one end. Sirius slipped inside on his stomach and Annabelle followed.

Once they were through the crawl space, he helped her up and they stood together in what felt like a corner. Wherever they were, it was pitch black.

"They will never find us here," he assured her. "That's a guarantee."

"This is terrifying," whispered Annabelle as she gripped his arm. "I can't see a thing."

"It would be so easy to startle you right now."

"Don't you dare!"

"Shhhh…" He started to laugh. Annabelle felt around for his face and put her hand over his mouth so he wouldn't give them away. Then she felt his hand feeling around her face, and when his fingers reached her mouth, he removed her hand from his face, and pushed his lips against hers. It was so unexpected that a wave of excitement rushed through her. He pulled her against him as his lips and tongue explored hers and they began to get carried away. There was something so thrilling about it – the utter darkness and the cold dampness of the room juxtaposed with their warm bodies and breath mingling.

She reached down to his backside and pulled him in tighter, causing a low groan to escape his throat. Right then, he was everything, and she finally felt her love for him begin to surpass her fear.

"OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!" Faustus' voice rang out from just outside their hiding spot.

Annabelle shrieked, and Sirius didn't know whether to laugh at her or hex Faustus for interrupting them. Annabelle pulled out her wand. "Lumos," she said.

Sirius told her, "You go on. I'm just going to lean into this cold wall for a minute and think of my family's house-elf."

Annabelle looked confused, but when he averted his eyes downward, she raised her eyebrows and said, "Ooh…Okay." She giggled once she understood.

Sirius laughed a little as well, but said, "It's not funny, woman!"

"Are you coming out of there or what?!" Zelda's voice grated from under the crawlspace.

"Annnnd I think that took care of the problem," he said. "Thanks be to Zelda."

Annabelle called back, "Yes, Zelda," attempting to stifle her laughing so as not to pique the young girl's curiosity. "We are on our way."

"What are you doing in there?" she replied.

Again they were struck with the urge to laugh, and they both began shaking in hysterics.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Annabelle called to her through her laughter.

Zelda gasped then she squealed, "You're snogging in there!"

Annabelle got down on her stomach and slid out first, Sirius right behind her.

"Oh, Zelda," said Annabelle. "I was just taking the mick. Relax."

Zelda narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but Annabelle shot her a threatening look so she decided it would be in her best interest to say no more.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That night, James was lounging languidly on his bed listening to Pink Floyd at top volume. He had Caradoc to thank for introducing him to muggle music, and even though his knowledge of it was somewhat limited, as far as James was concerned it was the only music worth listening to. After Sirius and Annabelle had left the pub in London, he proceeded to play at least ten more songs on the jukebox, just to see what else was out there.

He planned to go back to London and stock up on records, once Sirius was feeling better, of course. They would have to make use of the fireplace they discovered was connected to the Floo Network. For a moment his heart ached for his friend and what he'd endured. He still hadn't ruled out tracking down Sirius' parents and hexing the shite out of them. Now that Sirius was a free man, James could only hope that his dark episodes would be a lot less frequent.

Soon his thoughts drifted to Lily. Not in the way he usually thought of her, which was with her clothes off, although that was pure imagination because he hadn't seen her with her clothes off yet. She wasn't ready, and he was okay with waiting, because he wanted her to be sure - of their relationship, their future, and of him. No, he was only thinking about how in the coming year, he was going to have to try harder to be worthy of her affections.

Not that he felt _un_ worthy, he just knew he could do better with her. For example, he could quit picking on Snivellus, full stop. Maybe. He could study with her, the way Sirius did with Annabelle. He could stop teasing her about the things she enjoyed- the Slug Club and the Bay City Rollers with their naff tartan trousers. Okay, maybe he'd still tease her about the Bay City Rollers. He knew he needed to be more sensitive though, that's what Johnny B. had told him, and Remus had said it wouldn't hurt to pretend like he cracked a book open every once in a while. He couldn't help it if school was easy for him, but they were right. He needed to make more of an effort or he would lose her again. And he couldn't let that happen.

He resolved to be better. Somewhere between Remus and Sirius he had the perfect example of how to be a good boyfriend. And somewhere between Lily and Annabelle he had the perfect example of how to be well-behaved. He would have to pay more attention and do his best to follow their examples, because Lily deserved the best. He could not let her down again.

"James! Turn that racket down!" his father bellowed from the hallway. "You're making my ears bleed!"

"Sorry Dad!"

He took his wand from his bedside table and aimed it at the record player. "Quietus!"

Yes, he was going to be a good boy from now on. A new James Potter would be stepping onto the Hogwarts Express in three days. 1977 was going to be his year… and Lily's too, if he had anything to say about it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

That evening in the castle, Sirius and Annabelle sat a table in the common room helping Zelda and Twyla with their assignments. When they were done, they were treated to a rousing performance of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart," and while the Elton John and Kiki Dee version was preferable, Zelda and Twyla's rendition was gut-wrenchingly hilarious. In order to avoid laughing out loud, Sirius had to cover his mouth with a throw cushion and Annabelle writhed in internal agony until it was finally over.

"Tomorrow's New Year's Eve!" Twyla informed everyone after she and Zelda sat down on the floor by the fire.

"Is it really, Twyla?" asked Sirius with exaggerated excitement. "I'd never have guessed that if you hadn't told us!"

The girls giggled at him; they were growing accustomed to his teasing and knew not to take it to heart.

"Are you two going to ignore us once school starts again?" asked Zelda.

Sirius nodded yes in dramatic fashion, but then grinned and asked, "What kind of arseholes do you take us for?"

"Really," agreed Annabelle. "Of course we won't ignore you."

Zelda seemed pleased with their answers and changed the subject to New Year's Resolutions.

"Mine is to get a boyfriend."

Annabelle rolled her eyes and said, "You're a bit young for that."

"No, I'm not. Plenty of girls my age have boyfriends. I'm going to be twelve in four months!"

"Ohh, the big TWELVE," replied Annabelle. "I'm so sorry for my mistake."

Sirius snickered at her sarcasm. He remembered his own experience as a twelve-year-old boyfriend and knew Zelda would probably be feeling quite disappointed if her resolution came true.

"Mine is to pass my classes," said Twyla.

Annabelle frowned and said, "If you need help, we can study with you."

"Sure," said Sirius. "We'll see that you pass."

Twyla grinned shyly, but she suddenly looked hopeful. "What's yours?" she asked Annabelle.

"Hmm… I guess mine is to throw caution to the wind. Live more, worry less. Does that sound good?"

"Sounds good to me," replied Sirius with a roguish smile. Annabelle smiled back and poked him gently in his side.

"Your turn," she said.

"Right… my turn. Let me think about it… oh, I know. I'm going to live my life according to my own rules, the way I see fit, with no shame." He took Annabelle's hand. "And since this one here is planning to worry less, I reckon I'll take her along for the adventure."

Annabelle didn't care that the girls were looking. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. When the girls started giggling, Annabelle and Sirius laughed as well. Annabelle tossed their magazine at them, but it didn't stop them. That was when Professor McGonagall decided to step into the room.

"It's half past eleven," she informed them. Sirius had to fight hard not to roll his eyes. Zelda and Twyla got up and scurried off to their dorm rooms while Annabelle and Sirius stood up slowly, not wanting to part just yet.

"Let's hurry it along, please," Professor McGonagall ordered.

"Goodnight, ma'am," Annabelle said, then glanced at Sirius. As he turned toward the stairs he looked at Annabelle like he wanted to say something, but couldn't with the professor standing there. Instead, they said goodnight to each other and went up to their dorms.

After Annabelle was ready for bed, she wondered momentarily if he'd be sleeping already. Then she reminded herself that it didn't matter. He would want her there. And she wanted to be next to him, to hold him close, and to show him how much she loved him.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Sirius was lying on his back, one arm across his forehead when she came into his room as quiet as a ghost. He discerned her figure in the dying light from the stove as she moved. He remained still, but watched her as she lay her cloak across his trunk and knelt down next to his bed. She reached up and lit the candle on his bedside table with the tip of her wand, then slowly ran her fingers over the length of his arm. When she reached his hand, she gently pulled it to her mouth and kissed it.

He pulled his blanket back and moved over a bit, making room for her. She climbed into the bed with him and he gathered her in his arms. As he squeezed her body, she took his face into her hands, and for a moment, they just gazed into each other's eyes.

"I was hoping you'd come," he whispered.

She kissed him on the lips, still looking at him. Then she trailed her hands over his chest as she moved her lips to his neck, slipping her hands under his T-shirt and moving them around to his back. Sirius sighed faintly at her touch as he ran his hands through her hair, then met her lips again.

After a while, he felt her hands move around to his sides, gripping his T-shirt by the hem. They both sat up as he slid his arms out of it and she pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor. He promptly slipped his hands up under her top, and she raised her arms so he could lift it off her. She pressed herself against him shyly in order to cover herself, and the feeling of her body against his bare chest made it almost painful for him to go slow. But he did, kissing her again as she laced her fingers through his hair, his hands and lips exploring her everywhere.

"God, you are so beautiful," he exhaled.

"So are you."

How many times had she felt him beneath the confines of his clothing, or touched him tentatively in the darkness of a closet or a hidden chamber, his fingers slipping beneath the fabric of her blouse or skirt for the briefest of moments, only to be interrupted by someone or stopped by Annabelle herself in her apprehension? Yet just then, any doubt she ever felt was gone, and she couldn't get enough of him.

He pulled back and looked down at her, the light of the candle flickering in his eyes. "Do you want to stop, Annie?"

"No... don't stop... unless you want to-"

Sirius pressed his lips to hers, assuring her that he didn't want to stop either.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked soon after, his voice almost a whisper.

"Yes, I'm sure," she replied, and she meant it.

He briefly sat up and leaned over, getting a condom from his bedside table drawer. The streaks of moonlight that cut across the room illuminated his pale skin making him seem to Annabelle almost other-worldly in his beauty and grace. He pulled the blanket back over them so she wouldn't be cold. After helping each other shed the rest of their pyjamas, things escalated quickly.

They were both nervous and a few giggles were exchanged, but despite it being a bit awkward and clumsy, it was sweet and sincere as well. Since it was their first time, it was over rather quickly, but she didn't mind, because she'd never felt closer to him, to anyone, than she did then. For a while they just looked into each other's eyes, smiling, completely taken by the other and what had just transpired between them. Eventually he fell asleep with his head burrowed into her neck. She loved the feeling of his breath against her skin, its rhythmic sound like a lullaby. Soon, she drifted off herself.

Just before sunrise she awoke. She could have stayed there forever, but she had to pull herself away from him so they wouldn't be discovered.

"Don't go," he moaned as he pulled her back to him and kissed her. She didn't want to leave, but she was worried about being caught somehow, even though it wasn't likely.

"You know I have to," she replied.

"Not yet. Please," he breathed into her ear and she smiled as her skin tingled. He kissed her again as her hands travelled all over his body, wanting to know him completely. It was so easy to be swept away with him, she thought, yet she went willingly, and it was even more magical than the first time because their nerves had dissipated and their growing confidence had freed them.

She stayed with him until the first rays of pink and orange light started to fill the room. Again, she hated to leave. His body was so warm and the room so cold since the fire in the stove had been out for ages, but she had to peel herself away. He rolled onto his back and looked toward the ceiling to allow her some modesty while she got dressed. Feeling shy again in the morning light, she clothed herself as quickly and discreetly as possible. Before she left, he took her hand and pulled her on top of him again.

"I love you, Annie. And I'm not just saying that because we-"

Annabelle put her forefinger against his lips and smiled. "I know. And I love you, too. _So_ much."

After one more perfect kiss, she thought how lovely it would be to just stay, but soon the castle would be awake and they couldn't take any chances. He wrapped the blanket around himself and walked her to the door, then she disappeared under the cloak and headed down the stairs, feeling like she was walking on air. Again, that night she went to him, and they entered the new year together, wrapped in each other's arms.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

And as Remus, weak and sick, mourned over his Claire, and Johnny B. dreamt of Matthew, as Lily made plans for her future, and as James thought of Lily and made plans of his own, Sirius and Annabelle spent the last days of break helping Professor McGonagall by day, taking orders from her, watching over the others, and running errands, while by night they broke the rules, passing the darkness with each other.

As the sun rose the morning of their classmates impending return, Sirius said, "I am going to miss having you here at night."

Annabelle sighed softly and said, "Me too."

After a while, she said, "Come with me. I have something to show you. You might want to bring your map."

They got dressed and she draped the invisibility cloak over them, then led him to the first level just past the grand staircase to the secret tower she'd discovered her first year. After rounding the large pillar and slipping behind the statue, Annabelle waved her wand, undoing the disillusionment charm she'd placed on it. The crack in the wall appeared and Sirius' jaw dropped.

"You have to promise not to tell," she said. "And please don't add it to the map, okay?"

"Okay," he said. "I promise."

She led him up the winding stairs and he looked around the circular room. It was similar to a dorm room only it was completely empty, save for one old trunk near a large window, a pile of old books at one end of the windowsill.

"How long have you known about this?"

"Since first year."

"I'm impressed, Annabelle," he said as he looked around. "Does anyone else know about it?"

"As far as I know, just you."

He stepped toward her and took her hands. "This will remain our little secret. But why didn't you show me this ages ago?"

"I was afraid of what we'd get up to in here," she answered honestly. "But now that we've crossed that bridge…."

"You have nothing to fear anymore," he said as he touched his forehead to hers. "Not with me."

Soon, the sun rose higher, and they decided it best to go back to the dorms. The map showed movement in McGonagall and Filch's quarters, so they went swiftly and quietly back to Gryffindor Tower.

Later, they had their last breakfast and lunch at the same table with the other students, and after helping Professor McGonagall with a few more things in preparation for her classes, she gave them permission to walk into Hogsmeade with Hagrid to meet the train. While Hagrid chatted with people inside the station, Annabelle and Sirius wandered out onto the deserted platform and sat down on a bench to wait. They held hands as Annabelle put her head on his shoulder and he rested his head against hers, her hair cold and soft against his cheek. Soon, they heard the train whistle echoing through the winter air and when they looked toward the sound, a trail of steam appeared amidst the snow covered hills, getting closer and closer.

They looked at each other and smiled.

 

**The End.**

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in the sequel, "Dare to Be," it is posted in its entirety. Thanks again for sticking with me and pleeeaaase leave a comment! I worked really hard on this for no compensation other than the excitement of sharing it with others, but if I don't get feedback, it takes a lot of the fun out of it!


	50. The Better Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a one-shot I wrote that I don't feel can stand alone from this story, because Regulus is portrayed as the older brother, as he is in this story. You can also check me out on fanfiction.net - CarriePlum

Summer 1974

Before the end of June, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter had made a pact to secretly teach themselves to apparate during the summer holiday. They were well below the legal age to apparate alone, but legalities never stopped them before. In fact, that was part of the appeal - doing something forbidden. Not that age would have mattered under Minister Jenkins' rule; she had all but abolished The Trace, considering it "a waste of wizarding resources to maintain it." She was a believer that parents should determine when and how their magical children learned about magic, not the government. Young witches and wizards all over Britain had rejoiced when she was appointed.

The boys had also convinced themselves that getting a head start in apparition could only benefit them when sneaking out of the castle. If they ever got into trouble, escape would be just one pop away. Mostly, they just wanted to show off to their peers that they'd learnt how to do it before everyone else did.

Learning to apparate was easier said than done, though. It took loads of concentration, and the noise it made was difficult to hide. Sirius had to wait until his parents stepped out before attempting it, but Kreacher was always lurking about, waiting to catch him in a transgression so he could tattle to Sirius' parents. Not to be thwarted by a surly house-elf, he taught himself an advanced sound-proofing charm, then continued his practice unheard.

After the entire month of July, and just in time for his stay with the Potters, he finally mastered it. The night before he was to leave, his parents had gone to some corny ball at Malfoy Manor. Regulus had played sick, moaning that he felt feverish and light-headed. Sirius was impressed that he would attempt something so risky. Deception wasn't something his parents took lightly, not that they took anything lightly. Much to Sirius' surprise, Regulus' act worked, but Sirius suspected he owed his success to his parents wanting a night out without their pesky offspring.

After they left, Sirius peeked out of his room, listening to make sure the coast was clear. He ducked back inside when he saw Kreacher at his brother's door. The elf stood at Regulus' feet, looking up at his 20-year-old master with a cup of tea and a hot water bottle. Sirius listened closely, wishing the elf would bugger off already so he could find out what Regulus was up to.

"Mistress says Master Regulus is ill."

"Feeling a bit better now," said Regulus, his voice smooth and resonant. "Going over to a mate's for a bit. If the Master and Mistress return to find me gone, please tell them I've just gone to pick up a fever potion. Do _not_ tell them anything else. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Master Regulus. Kreacher will do as you command."

"Thank you, friend. Now, how about you go back downstairs, have a rest, and enjoy that cup of tea?"

"But, Master, who will mind the sneaky one? Mistress says to keep close eye on him."

"He's leaving for his muggle-lover friend's house in a bit. Don't worry about him. Go, enjoy your tea." Before Kreacher could protest, Regulus warned, "That's an order."

"Yes, Master Regulus."

The house elf trudged down the stairs, and Regulus headed for the bathroom opposite Sirius' room. Just then, an idea occurred to Sirius. He would scare the daylights out of Regulus by apparating into the bathroom. He waited another moment to be sure Kreacher wasn't lurking, then stepped out, carefully approaching the bathroom door. He could hear the sink turn on, so he close his eyes and concentrated with all his might.

_CRACK!_

Regulus almost jumped through the ceiling, yelping like a puppy.

" _Fucking hell!"_ he shouted, the shaving razor having sliced his cheek before it dropped out of his hand.

Sirius doubled over in laughter, barely able to catch his breath. Regulus grabbed a towel and held it to his face, then turned and shoved Sirius to the floor. Sirius continued to laugh, rolling onto his side and holding his stomach.

"You little shit. You could have killed me."

He stalked off to his room, and Sirius got up from the floor and followed, almost crying with glee.

"God, that was _priceless!"_ he said.

Regulus picked up his wand, pointed it to his face, and muttered an incantation, causing the cut to seal. Then, he went back the bathroom, Sirius right behind him.

"You're lucky that wasn't a deep cut. If I'd had to go out with Dittany on my face, I'd have returned the favour."

"Ohh, look at me, shaking in my shoes."

"Grow up, Sirius."

Sirius ignored the remark, and asked, "Where are you going, anyway? It's not like you to lie to your best mate, Kreacher."

Regulus smirked. "Don't be jealous of a house-elf. It makes you look pathetic. Oh wait, you are pathetic."

Sirius sat down on the antique wingback chair in the corner of the large bathroom, watching as his brother continued shaving. He crossed his leg over his knee and leaned back, his clasped hands on his abdomen.

"Pathetic people don't learn to apparate at 14 years old," he countered. "You probably still can't apparate and you're 20."

"You wish. I learnt how to apparate at 16, at Hogwarts, like the vast majority of wizards in this country. Breaking rules doesn't make you special."

"You'd better not tell Father and Mother… _or else_."

Regulus chuckled. "Or else what?"

"I'll tell them you're sneaking out. That you lied to them about being sick."

"They won't believe you. Kreacher will back me up."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his pompous twit of a brother. He felt disgusted by him, always kissing up to their parents, pretending to be the perfect son, when really he was getting up to Merlin-knew-what behind their backs. He was the poster-child for hypocrisy.

"Why do you have to be such a prick?" Sirius asked.

"It runs in the family." He peeked at Sirius from the corner of his eyes, the hint of a grin on his lips. "Don't worry, I won't tell them. I have better things to do with my life than concern myself with your idiotic behaviour."

"The feeling's mutual."

"Then why are you pestering me about where I'm off to?"

Crap, he had a point.

"Just curious," Sirius said with a sigh. "You're _betrothed_ is going to be at the ball, so you're obviously not meeting her."

"Mind your own business, Sirius. Where I'm going is none of your concern."

"Fine," Sirius said as he hopped up from the chair. "Just don't get caught, whatever you're up to. Even Kreacher can't save you from Father and Mother."

He headed out the door and back to his room for his trunk. Regulus stepped out of the bathroom just as he was heading down the stairs.

"Sirius."

Sirius looked up at him. "Yes?"

"You stay out of trouble, as well. You understand?"

Sirius gasped, his eyes wide. "Me? Get into trouble? _Never._ " He broke into a grin and shook his head as he continued down the stairs.

Regulus shook his head as well, and retreated into his room for the directions his mate Lucius had given him the day before, to the house of a powerful wizard called Tom Riddle. Someone had to maintain the Black family's status in the pureblood community. Sirius never would... that was for certain.


End file.
